# Goodbye Good Boy



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

I recently learned after losing my Odin what a heart dog was. I’ve had dogs my whole life, dogs that chose me to be their person... but none with the connection I had with Odin.










he was 1/2 GSD and 1/2 Dutch Shepherd. The first puppy I solely raised and trained. I did all of his things until I got pregnant with my twins.

Odin was a tall goofy mess. When the twins started walking we had to raise the blinds. The blinds we always kept closed because it was easier with Odin. But he went from launching himself over the couch to bark at a person on the street... to running around the couch only to look. Only barking at the squirrels in the yard. Not even barking at the cats.

The twins are now 2 and we were finally getting to let them play together fully. He was always a dog that liked his space so we were really careful with him around the babies. And the last few months they were finally all playing together.

When I found out I was pregnant, he started rolling around and throwing up. We rushed him to the vet. I was always scared of bloat. In the end it was just “hm. That’s a funny spleen. It will probably have to come out later.” I didn’t realize then... but occasionally he would throw up the last 2.5 years. I always thought it was because of not being fed soon enough. We would give him some time. Easier food. Switch back to normal and everything would be fine...

Only maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was his spleen this whole time. He threw up once the other week then got slower. And wanted love. And took love from the babies. My intuition was going off and we rushed him to the vet... I didn’t let him jump into the car like he wanted. My husband let him jump out...

First... they couldn’t find his spleen. It looked like it was a complete mass. We asked them to do all the tests they could before we made any final decisions. They found his spleen. His vitals were improving. They were going to attempt surgery... and stop if they found it was bad... I couldn’t breathe all day. My thoughts only “FIGHT ODIN. FIGHT!”

but it wasn’t bad. He was sailing through surgery like a champ... So good they called us to tell us we’d be getting him back tomorrow... spleenless... but while on the phone with us... right after I took my first breath of the day... they urgently rushed off the phone.

I sat at the window. Looking at the grey rainy sky as it had been all day. And the clouds opened... the sun came out in a gorgeous way. I saw a come here hand in the clouds.. and then a dog that looked like Odin... and I knew it was him. My husband called a friend to tell him the good news and I tried to stop him...

because it was him. And he was gone. He was only 6.75 years old.









We lost him on World Premie Day (my twins were born at 26 weeks)... and all the grief from everything made me crumble.

The weekend before... I felt this glorious feeling I’ve never felt. Like my heart was full. True happiness. A turning point. Odin’s allergies were finally under control. We were going to start hiking as a full family... I just KNEW we were about to open a new chapter. 

And now. From such a high of happiness. I’m so low. Sigh.


----------



## CactusWren (Nov 4, 2018)

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a cutie he was.


----------



## vomlittlehaus (Aug 24, 2010)

So very very sorry for your loss.


----------



## Galathiel (Nov 30, 2012)

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.


----------



## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

I’m so sorry. What a beautiful boy and spirit.


----------



## Biscuit (Mar 24, 2020)

So sorry. Too short a time they have, Odin should have had more. You can cherish him for a lifetime though.


----------



## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. RIP beautiful boy.


----------



## SuperAndre (Jun 28, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

I know the feeling all too well but every dog ti was worth it. He's running free and healthy now, barking and chasing squirrels to his heart's content. Til we meet again.


----------



## Lexie’s mom (Oct 27, 2019)

I am so sorry for your loss!


----------



## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

I can't imagine how you feel. What a glorious sign that he is OK now even though you will miss him terribly for quite some time. Hold onto that vision in the sky.


----------



## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

I am so so sorry.


----------



## NiabiTheGreat (Jul 14, 2019)

I'm so sorry!

May you Rest In Peace, Odin ❤


----------



## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

My deepest sympathies, to you and your family.


----------



## NadDog24 (May 14, 2020)

I’m so sorry, he was beautiful and was taken too soon.


----------



## Scottie B (Dec 4, 2020)

Your heart dog was beautiful! My deepest sympathies for your loss. It does get easier with time.


----------



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

I may just use this space as the words come. While I have people that will listen... something about this group... it helps. Thank you for your kind words. I used to read this forum often the first few years after Odin came into our lives... trying to do right by him. Thank you guys for that.










Last night I was looking at the running note I kept in my phone for words I taught him...

Odin was the kind of dog that would be more energetic after physical play. The more running/hiking/playing... the more he wanted. It was never ending.

In order to get him to rest when he was a young boy... he needed mental work. 45 minutes minimum and then he would sleep for hours. We did it at multiple volumes and with many having hand signals. Some of them I reduced down to facial expressions. I kept a running list to keep track for myself... I’m sure there are some I missed...

I always wanted them to be useful words that other people would use naturally. I was always worried that he would get out and I needed him to be able to understand other people. I also wanted other people to be able to communicate with him when they came over... he was big and would absolutely cross boundaries if you let him... but he was such a good boy when he figured out where the line was with each individual person.

It’s like when he would play with other pups - he just wanted to play and would work through the different play types to see what the other dog wanted. Of course he was excited whenever he could play the way shepherds do... but he just wanted to have fun with whoever however. Always down for anything.

Since the arrival of the twins, these “training” sessions lessened. In the thick of survival we just didn’t have time. But he knew. And he waited patiently for his turn. He knew we were tired. He was probably tired too from the crying and moving and everything that comes with twin babies and interrupted sleep. Thankfully that first year I had someone come over to help and she would go play with him too. I knew he was grateful for those moments.

I’m thankful that this year was so good. I know 2020 had been horrible for so many... but our little oasis I just felt so lucky. Of course 2020 had to take him in the end and ruin one of the best years of my life. ESP for him after the previous chapter. Once winter ended we really grew a fantastic garden and instead of being house locked we were outside so much. He’d be out there a minimum of 6 hours just doing what he wanted. (Laying in his corner, watching for squirrels and birds to chase away and trotting the perimeter.) and not alone. With my husband while he was working. With me while I was garden tending. With all of us and the twin shenanigans. 

I’m glad that I taught him these words... because then he was able to be such a good good good boy when we didn’t have the time. And he was such a good good good boy that we could just be and exist together these last couple years. He didn’t misbehave. He never destroyed any toys. He just watched and closed his eyes every second he could grab. At the end of the day the most he would do was whine at us... but that was usually for his bedtime treat so he could go to sleep for the night too.

I cling to this just being. Remembering he was always there. He always had my six. He might not have been in many recent pictures, but that’s because he was right behind me. Always ready. No matter what words I said. I watch videos searching for him in it. Mostly not seeing him... but hearing his tags. Ting ting ting. A sound I never registered but now... do.

Miss you good boy. You were so very loved by so many.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Lucky dog, lucky family


----------



## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a dog in their prime like that, you have my sincere heart-felt condolences! It sounds like you all had a great life though, so hopefully over time you'll savor just the great memories! Sending healing thoughts your way!


----------



## MyWifeIsBoss (Apr 27, 2020)

I'm really so sorry. That is heartbreaking.
Xoxoxoxo


----------



## mkinttrim (Jul 3, 2011)

He's not really gone if he's still in your heart!


----------



## krodriguez (Jan 14, 2019)

So sorry about your boy. 😢 my boy was also gone too soon (6 years 9 months). Losing your heart dog is painful beyond words. 💔 🌈🐕


----------



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

Soulshine - The Allman Brothers Band

This is his song. We started most garden mornings this year with it.

Remember to let your soul shine. He certainly did.


----------



## maysisaz (Aug 26, 2018)

Odin’s Mom said:


> I recently learned after losing my Odin what a heart dog was. I’ve had dogs my whole life, dogs that chose me to be their person... but none with the connection I had with Odin.
> 
> View attachment 566602
> 
> ...


My heart aches for you, your family and the loss of Odin...My babies are just two years old and I love them so much......I dread going thru their departure...hopefully not for 12-15 years!


----------



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

One month today. Still cry every single day even if there’s more time in between tears.


----------



## Damicodric (Apr 13, 2013)

Sincerest condolences to you and your family.


----------



## mikegray660 (Jan 31, 2018)

what a beautiful dog -and it sounds like he found the best life possible with you. I hope the love you shared helps ease the pain of the loss sooner rather than later


----------



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

Was removing backgrounds from some of his pictures for source material for the art piece I’m doing to continue processing my grief... and this one. It was too good to not add another background for funsies.

I try not to bring him up for other people’s sakes... but this needs to be shared somewhere.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Beautiful pic


----------



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

It’s been 2 months. I don’t cry every day anymore though they try. I watch videos of him often but I’m doing other things to help... accept it.

Every day around his time of death or when we would have solo time I sing Soulshine and remember his lessons. Once a day I walk his path (always step twisting any grass that thinks it’s allowed to grow there now). I stand in his favorite spots in the yard and slowly breath to take in the view. I watch the birds as he did. I observe the beauty as he did. Sometimes I feel like he’s there at my six.

Sometimes moments happen where it just makes no sense that it’s not him sending a message. I was having a particularly hard day one day and standing in one of his spots. Looking at the trees... and in the distance outside of my yard I saw a white feather floating. Back and forth as feathers do. It floated slowly like this in a 10 ft circle around me... as it completed the circle it stopped floating, went vertical and dropped within a ft of my feet. I hadn’t moved a step.

A friend had a wind chime made that I have hanging in my room where his bed used to be. The feather is now attached.

I also had a dream where he was happily loving on a small little fluffy GSD. I was torn between looking for a breeder or waiting until my children were old enough so we could rescue. I took it as a sign that he was happy for me to get a pup sooner and that he was prepping her for our family.

It’s still hard because it was so sudden... but I’m coping and taking the time to cherish every picture and video of his goofy self.

Thank you for anyone reading the words processing my grief.


----------



## Odin’s Mom (Dec 5, 2020)

6 months today.

I was hit with emotions while sitting at a vet for a checkup on Atlas, our new puppy we’ve had about a month and a half. (Puppy picture for tax) 



















I catch myself often thinking about Odin and how he was at this stage. I feel so lucky to have had Odin for my first dog in countless ways... and I think it’s ingrained in me even more how special he will always be to me...

Its such a strange feeling because current puppy is so much more chill. He probably would have been a way easier first puppy... but it’s him being such a good boy that reminds me how well Odin learned and how hard he worked to curb his... being extra.

Atlas would have been a puppy Odin liked because he really preferred the calmer dogs. Whenever I would think about getting another pup I could never imagine Odin being okay with it... but with this little guy I could just see Odin herding him away like “dude we don’t dig” “why are you eating dirt?” Though I also imagine puppy going “why do you just eat the grass? Why don’t you pull it up by the roots first and THEN eat it and the dirt?” But I absolutely do picture them both on the deck in the morning just sitting and listening to the birds quietly for 15 minutes.

I miss you Odin and I hope you had fun teaching Atlas about your family. See you soon Good Boy.


----------

