# Miss him so much :-(



## Atlas'Mama (Jul 7, 2012)

Hi, All:
I'm new to the community, but your words have been helping me greatly. A little back story. My boyfriend and I just had to put down our sweet boy Atlas, at age 6, due to what we believe was Cauda Equina syndrome. Atlas had a history of lyme disease since puppyhood, and a few weeks ago, he had what appeared to be his usual summer flare up, as he was limping slightly and showing all signs of lyme. On wednesday, he was his normal self, running and catching a ball in the back yard. By Thursday, he was limping and didn't have much of an appetite. Friday, we took him to the vet and they ran tests, after which they prescribed an antibiotic and pain reliever. He seemed to be his normal self, smiling and happy, though having some trouble in the back still. Saturday morning, June 24, he seemed really, really stiff, but we didin't ahve cause for concern, as he was still eating, drinking, etc. Sat afternoon we started noticing changes, and by early that evening, he was not getting up at all adn had a pathetic sounding hoarse bark. We rushed him to our emergency vet, where we were given the bad news---he had complete loss of motor function in his back, and had lost all reflexes by his tail, etc. To add insult to injury, poor Atlas still maintained sensation, and had lost the ability to urinate. After weighing our options (almost $2500 in preliminary testing, MRI's, etc and another $4,000 in surgery if need be) we knew we had no choice but to put our sweet boy down. I never thought it would hurt this much, and I've not really stopped crying in the 2 weeks since it happened. He was only 6, and our old vet misdiagnosed him as having Spondy at age 4, when Cauda equina was actually the clear diagnosis (wish I knew that now). He dragged his back foot slightly, had slowed reflexes back there, constantly stretched his back, had infrequent fecal incontinence, crossed his back elgs together, etc. Our vet said 'Oh, it's just the beginnings of hip dysplaysia and possible spondy judging by the X-rays. just watch him closely and continue to exercise him and he should be fine". What we didin't know is thatw e were actually harming our boy. I'm still so distraught knowing that I killed my dog :-(




:gsdhead: At the Bridge: Atlas Gunther Vom Milnerhaus. 3/26/06-6/24/12. We'll always love you.


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## Gretchen (Jan 20, 2011)

From what you have written, it is clear you are a very caring, loving person that provided the best possible care for your dog. I cried for months after our 1st dog died, even after we got our new pup. Sorry you lost your boy, Atlas.

You are probably angry at the vet, but they are human and make mistakes. We always expect doctors to be perfect.


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## PatchonGSD (Jun 27, 2012)

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

_YOU DID NOT KILL YOUR DOG!!_ and dont forget that! You did the best you knew how to do given what the diagnoses from the vet was. Even if it was wrong. Clearly he spent his life being loved, and you cant ask for more than that. You'll be with him again someday....:hugs:


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I agree completely!! You can't blame yourself for doing what you thought was right and even at the end, you made the best decision for Atlas. There aren't enough tears for the loss of such a wonderful dog so don't add guilt too. Atlas is now at peace and pain free.


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## Stella's Mom (Mar 8, 2011)

You did not kill your dog. I feel for you. What a hard decision it is to make, especially when the dog is so young.

I sat on the fence for days before I put my 13 year old down 18 months ago. She had cancer, she was swollen even though we had fluids removed just days before. 

I kept thinking I was taking her last days away from her, but in reality, those days were painful for her. I look back at the pics of her last day and know now it was the right decision.

I think when the emotions subside a bit you will know you did not kill your dog and you relieved him of some painful days.

Sorry for your loss.


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## katdog5911 (Sep 24, 2011)

It is obvious that you loved your dog very much and tried to do what was best for him. We go to vets because they are the "experts", but they are human and make mistakes. You did not kill your dog. Sounds to me like you tried to make Atlas' life a full and happy one. And in the end you made the right decision to end his pain. Don't compound your own pain by adding guilt to it.


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## 1sttimeforgsd (Jul 29, 2010)

So sorry for your loss, but please don't blame yourself.


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## lorihd (Nov 30, 2011)

so sorry for your loss. when my doxie was 5, she herniated her disc and we had the surgery for her. when she came home, she was not the same loving dog. she lasted 10years after surgery and those were painful days. Dont blame yourself for not having the surgery for your dog, its probably a blessing (may he run painfree now)


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## NatalieCat (Apr 10, 2012)

Very sorry for the loss of your dog.  but like everyone else had said, please don't blame yourself how could you have known what was wrong? Also try not to blame the vet either. They're not perfect and they can make mistakes. May your boy rest in piece happy and pain free :halogsd:


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

Sorry for your loss  You did what was best for him for sure. The pain is over now .....:rip: Atlas


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## pyratemom (Jan 10, 2011)

I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose one. I still have bad days even after a month and a half after losing Pyrate. Be kind to yourself. This wasn't your fault. We have to put our trust in our vets or become a vet ourselves. You did love him to the end and that is the most important. Reading the posts on this forum helped me greatly when Pyrate went. I hope they will help you too. ((HUGS))

The Rainbow Bridge


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss. It's very hard when we have to make the decision to do what is right for them.


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