# “can I pet your dog”



## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Finally I am brave enough and proud to say no to people asking to pet my pup randomly. I do explain myself that we are in training and don’t want to confuse the pup that she is allowed to meet everyone. However there are people rolling their eyes and turn around and leave immediately. Kind of sad. How do you guys say no to people asking to pet your dogs?


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## finn'smom (Oct 4, 2019)

I say it exactly the way you do, except with little explanation. "No, I'm sorry you cannot"... If they ask why not without being rude I explain as you do, sorry his job isn't to meet everyone it's simply to ignore you're there at all.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

ldmpku said:


> Finally I am brave enough and proud to say no to people asking to pet my pup randomly. I do explain myself that we are in training and don’t want to confuse the pup that she is allowed to meet everyone. *However there are people rolling their eyes and turn around and leave immediately.* Kind of sad. How do you guys say no to people asking to pet your dogs?


Why would you be sad that these people roll their eyes and leave immediately? You have discovered an amazing thing: trash that takes itself out.

Fern is an adult dog and I say she's in training. I tell them I don't know how she will react. They get scared and leave.
With puppies say no and look away. If they ask why, your response should be "excuse me?". Say it like you didn't hear what the cashier said at starbucks. Polite but not groveling.

If you say no and they try to pet your dog say "WOAH WOAH, I don't think you heard me but I said no, you cannot pet my puppy." and smile like there was a true misunderstanding. If you don't like them and you're in a public space you can say it really really loud so they get embarrassed for being a rude idiot. You can repeat that sentence over and over without change when they insist. 

My late dog was a mini eskie that loved humans more than food or walks. People literally insisted that my dog smiled at them and wanted them to pet her. Another lady literally said she was an angel sent down by God. A lot of children wanted to crowd her etc. Works for every situation. The only time it doesnt work was when a European family put their infant on my dog.


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## Mannix (12 mo ago)

I've socialized my dog(s) when ever I have had the opportunity, especially when they are puppies. Everybody is welcome to pet my dog.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Mannix said:


> I've socialized my dog(s) when ever I have had the opportunity, especially when they are puppies. Everybody is welcome to pet my dog.


Yes I agree. now she is fine with people petting her and it’s time to set the boundary now. The reason I let other people pet her with my permission(always permitted before) or even let them feed is to give her good impression about people. Now she thinks people are not bad and it’s time to set the boundary. Also I believe socialization doesn’t mean have physical interaction with everybody. And she is allowed or I offer her to be petted randomly.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Hopps said:


> Why would you be sad that these people roll their eyes and leave immediately? You have discovered an amazing thing: trash that takes itself out.
> 
> Fern is an adult dog and I say she's in training. I tell them I don't know how she will react. They get scared and leave.
> With puppies say no and look away. If they ask why, your response should be "excuse me?". Say it like you didn't hear what the cashier said at starbucks. Polite but not groveling.
> ...


I just want maintain a nice scenario for everyone. No need to offense if they are also polite. But I will definitely defend my puppy if they are rude. I let my golden go for whatever he wants now lessons are learned. I just want a dog to be friendly to people but also focus on me! She is so far so good and can ignore the surroundings playing engagement games with me.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

ldmpku said:


> I just want maintain a nice scenario for everyone. No need to offense if they are also polite. But I will definitely defend my puppy if they are rude. I let my golden go for whatever he wants now lessons are learned. I just want a dog to be friendly to people but also focus on me! She is so far so good and can ignore the surroundings playing engagement games with me.


I learned it the hard way to "maintain a nice scenario for everyone". My method absolutely has no rudeness, the only people that will be offended are the entitled ones. I always make it a point to say it with a kind voice and a smile! I don't think your dog can fully focus on you while getting the same attention from other people. What is your definition of friendly? Do you want your dog to was their tail and walk up to every person? Or is it that you want them to be happy with anyone pets them? Try to have a specific picture in mind. What if it was a shady person? 

I prefer my dog to not engage with people until given permission. With my GSD now it seems to be automatic. My mini eskie I had to train not to be friendly to everyone. She seriously believed everyone was her best friend!


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

No. Or not right now. Not a lot of explanation.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Hopps said:


> I learned it the hard way to "maintain a nice scenario for everyone". My method absolutely has no rudeness, the only people that will be offended are the entitled ones. I always make it a point to say it with a kind voice and a smile! I don't think your dog can fully focus on you while getting the same attention from other people. What is your definition of friendly? Do you want your dog to was their tail and walk up to every person? Or is it that you want them to be happy with anyone pets them? Try to have a specific picture in mind. What if it was a shady person?
> 
> I prefer my dog to not engage with people until given permission. With my GSD now it seems to be automatic. My mini eskie I had to train not to be friendly to everyone. She seriously believed everyone was her best friend!


I totally agree with you. I specifically ask the breeder for a dog neutral to people out of the pack. Being calm with me while I’m talking to people and if people have l the willing and I allow the she can still stay calm being petted.
Trust me, I do feel what you feel! I got a golden! I hate that he is a social butterfly! Of course it’s my bad of lack of knowledge about managing dogs. Now it’s kind of unbreakable and I have to train him not to rush to be petted and very marginal result over time but I will keep him working on this…..I do have a hard lesson.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Also I plan her to be titled for BH or even IGP1. At least it’s the target. Definitely not to be a dog for everyone!


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Bearshandler said:


> No. Or not right now. Not a lot of explanation.


Wish I can be so plain! But not right now is one good option! Thanks


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

My dog wears patches on both sides of her harness that read “DO NOT PET”. Probably the biggest misconception in dog ownership is from the happy doo doo crowd that believes dogs should be pet by every person that passes them, and they should play with every dog in any area they visit. That is NOT socializing your dog. Socializing means your dog can function with YOU in spite of humans and dogs around you in any circumstance. Friends and family members you frequent that have other dogs- sure socialized them to that degree so the dogs can function appropriately when you or they visit. This fixation of strange dog play and strange persons indiscriminately petting your dog is the result of positive only training marketing. If you utilize a protection dog trainer that also runs doggy day care, you’re being taken. My opinion but I am in good company.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Rionel said:


> My dog wears patches on both sides of her harness that rear “DO NOT PET”. Probably the biggest misconception in dog ownership is from the happy doo doo crowd that believes dogs should be pet by every person that passes them, and they should play with every dog in any area they visit. That is NOT socializing your dog. Socializing means your dog can function with YOU in spite of humans and dogs around you in any circumstance. Friends and family members you frequent that have other dogs- sure socialized them to that degree so the dogs can function appropriately when you or they visit. This is the result of positive only training marketing. If you utilize a protection dog trainer that also runs doggy day care, you’re being taken. My opinion but I am in good company.


Well I do respect whatever people want their dogs to be. But they also have to respect what I want. To be honest, I’m kind of sad for my golden that I think he has kind of anxiety not to be able to being pet and he is so stressed when not allowed regardless his constant attempts breaking my instructions. Anyway, really appreciate so many good comments and sharings. I was to complain people being rude after being refused….. now I feel much better


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

ldmpku said:


> To be honest, I’m kind of sad for my golden that I think he has kind of anxiety not to be able to being pet and he is so stressed when not allowed regardless his constant attempts breaking my instructions


Not to appear as curt, but what are you basing his perceived “stress” on? Dogs have impulses of all kinds, and when you negate that, there’s much more of a chance that he’s stressed by not pleasing you and is working it out in his mind. I DO subscribe to as much positive interaction in training as possible. I replace something I negate with an alternate exercise to expend some energy from my dog and relate that to me. If you go down the rabbit hole of ascribing human responses to your dog’s behavior (anthropomorphizing) you get less done. I do like your idea of initially allowing your dog to meet strangers, and moving from there. It’s a question of focus And you want lots of it on you ; )


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

ldmpku said:


> I totally agree with you. I specifically ask the breeder for a dog neutral to people out of the pack. Being calm with me while I’m talking to people and if people have l the willing and I allow the she can still stay calm being petted.
> Trust me, I do feel what you feel! I got a golden! I hate that he is a social butterfly! Of course it’s my bad of lack of knowledge about managing dogs. Now it’s kind of unbreakable and I have to train him not to rush to be petted and very marginal result over time but I will keep him working on this…..I do have a hard lesson.


I definitely understand your pain of having too friendly of a dog. One older lady asked if she can take my dog for a walk because my dog "smiled" at her like her old dog did. It's so hard to say no especially when your own dog is saying "YES I WANT TO FOLLOW EVERYONE TO THEIR HOMES".


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## Gwyllgi (Aug 16, 2017)

I never let adults pet my dog, I just say no.

I do let children pet her if they ask, if they rush up without asking, then I tell them NO.

I can show a child how to approach a dog, and most listen, if they are hesitant, then I just say, maybe next time. 

Her breeder would take all the pups in to the schools to get used to being around children.

I once had a young boy yell 'Hey, Mister, can I pet your dog?', I did not like the tone of his voice, it was exciting and pushy, my dog would not have liked his energy. I sternly said no, as he rushed over.

She also wears do not pet patches.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Rionel said:


> Not to appear as curt, but what are you basing his perceived “stress” on? Dogs have impulses of all kinds, and when you negate that, there’s much more of a chance that he’s stressed by not pleasing you and is working it out in his mind. I DO subscribe to as much positive interaction in training as possible. I replace something I negate with an alternate exercise to expend some energy from my dog and relate that to me. If you go down the rabbit hole of ascribing human responses to your dog’s behavior (anthropomorphizing) you get less done. I do like your idea of initially allowing your dog to meet strangers, and moving from there. It’s a question of focus And you want lots of it on you ; )


My golden looks very stressed by breathing heavily and will be whining when asked not to go join others. Now he is under training with a private trainer and progress is made. But I do regret my ignoring over his need, drive and training. Now I work my new pup with a good private trainer starting by learning engagement games and drive build. Training(playing games) is so much fun now and it’s like her begging me to train her. Her face looks like “when do we start”?


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Gwyllgi said:


> I never let adults pet my dog, I just say no.
> 
> I do let children pet her if they ask, if they rush up without asking, then I tell them NO.
> 
> ...


How are the "do not pet" patches working for you? I'm seriously considering getting one for Fern. Has it reduced the amount of times people approach your dog?


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Gwyllgi said:


> I never let adults pet my dog, I just say no.
> 
> I do let children pet her if they ask, if they rush up without asking, then I tell them NO.
> 
> ...


Oh yeah I do once met one child rushing to my pup to pet the dog and his parent was like 10yards away yelling no. Literally I walked away instantly.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Hopps said:


> I definitely understand your pain of having too friendly of a dog. One older lady asked if she can take my dog for a walk because my dog "smiled" at her like her old dog did. It's so hard to say no especially when your own dog is saying "YES I WANT TO FOLLOW EVERYONE TO THEIR HOMES".


Exactly!


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

Hopps said:


> How are the "do not pet" patches working for you? I'm seriously considering getting one for Fern. Has it reduced the amount of times people approach your dog?


Well it wasn’t too much of an issue with most adults without the patches. I was more concerned about kids that would approach. But it’s nearly 100% effective now, though I still got one older guy who asked if he could pet my dog. Even with the patches some apparently overlook them. My dog would be fine in most cases, but it’s easier not having to repeat it.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Rionel said:


> Well it wasn’t too much of an issue with most adults without the patches. I was more concerned about kids that would approach. But it’s nearly 100% effective now, though I still got one older guy who asked if he could pet my dog. Even with the patches some apparently overlook them. My dog would be fine in most cases, but it’s easier not having to repeat it.


I will probably invest in one. About a month of having Fern, she started not liking people trying to pet her. Before she didn't care but now she will sniff the person's hand and leave. I'd rather save her the stress by getting a patch for her. Thanks


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

“He bites.”
They go away.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Sunflowers said:


> “He bites.”
> They go away.


That’s what I told dog owners want to “socialize” their dogs with my pup.


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

Sunflowers said:


> “He bites.”
> They go away.


You betcha! The nicest compliment I got with Rey was from a guy who knew well enough not to crowd us (though he could have). He just walked slightly around us in a parking lot, smiled at the dog and me and said “nice dog”.


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## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Sunflowers said:


> “He bites.”
> They go away.


Yep, this is exactly what I say too. Also, when someone thinks it’s a good idea to let their off leash dog come rushing up to mine while yelling “it’s okay he’s friendly!” I usually reply with “I’m not!”


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

My favorite memory in this light is of a young man and his friend asking to pet my dogs. The young man said that somehow dogs didn't seem to like it when he petted them. I suggested that he offer his hand and pet under the chin rather than patting on the head. The dogs and I were able to give the man a good experience with "how to pet a dog." So basically, "yes but this is how" is my basic "rule."


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## Emilia C (Dec 5, 2021)

People are the worst they want to pet puppy gsd but do not understand rules also training for gsd but when the same gsd is fully grown up people all of a sudden get scared of a gsd. One lady told me mummy is mean because I wouldn’t let her pet our gsd puppy I explained we’re training our gsd she needs to know the rules. No joke we have a neighbour hi was fully interested in petting our gsd puppy but she is now fully grown our neighbour shows zero interest in our gsd now (I believe she is scared of her now) it’s sad but people I find are generally terrible. I am happy we get our gsd all to ourselves it’s the best, no one harasses you when your gsd fully grows up for pets and I love it. But yeah stay away from people who don’t respect your rules


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## Chloé&Buck (Jul 1, 2020)

ldmpku said:


> Finally I am brave enough and proud to say no to people asking to pet my pup randomly. I do explain myself that we are in training and don’t want to confuse the pup that she is allowed to meet everyone. However there are people rolling their eyes and turn around and leave immediately. Kind of sad. How do you guys say no to people asking to pet your dogs?


I don't really have to say no to polite people who ask now, as both dogs are OK to meet people and the only thing that matters to me is to be able to give permission.
I had some eye rolling and comments while training though. It can be annoying...
(Like "let the poor thing be" when I was just working on sit stay, stuff like that)
You just have to ignore I guess. Do your thing and ignore.

Rionel, I'm not sure about your definition of socializing though. At the end of the day, you're still working on a dog... To them, being social is greet, sniff, explore.
Being social to a dog doesn't mean ignoring the world and focus on you. That's just training to me.
We can train an extremely people orientated dog to ignore random people. And we can also train a dog that actually hates people, to ignore them.
I totally get how reinforcing neutrality helps though!
You don't need to let random contact happen, but I wouldn't raise a puppy allowing no contact expect with me and close family either.
More about striking a balance and using opportunities as they come.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

my big-boy had all that gorgeous hair and people just wanted to touch it. Luckily my dog was patient enough if my hubby said yes. He was curious about other people and often if they touched him, he'd explore them, too, somehow. But my husband always made sure that touches didn't go too far, and most people were happy just to touch him a little bit. He was still a big dog and people respected that.
my gal-dog makes it easy to say no. If we don't say no, she will with a short bark. Often we say to ignore her and talk to us. IF she goes to them they can pet her a little. When she gives permission, they feel honored in a small way. 
in the end, the only people my dogs really wanted to interact with are familiar folks, family and friends. Sometimes, when I want to pet them, they would look at me as if to say "why are you touching me?"


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Balance!


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## drparker151 (Apr 10, 2020)

I judge each request on its own merit. I'm never annoyed with the request, it's much better than those idiots who just assume and want to charge right in. 

When I decide no, I either say we are training and move quickly or I say no she is in heat. In heat seems to freak them out and stops them dead in their tracks, also works great with people approaching with a dog. 

When I decide yes, I ask if they would be willing to help with training and ask them to wait. I get down on a knee next to Jaz. This way I can block the person if needed, like the guy who wanted to scrunch the ears because dogs love it. 

Children must be calm and have an adult with them or the answer is no.


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

Chloé&Buck said:


> I don't really have to say no to polite people who ask now, as both dogs are OK to meet people and the only thing that matters to me is to be able to give permission.
> I had some eye rolling and comments while training though. It can be annoying...
> (Like "let the poor thing be" when I was just working on sit stay, stuff like that)
> You just have to ignore I guess. Do your thing and ignore.
> ...


Oh, I am definitely with you on being able to greet people with my dog. That's why I agree with the OP's notion of including the exposure for a new pup, but moving away from it as something to reinforce. Some GS can be rushed up upon and tuck their tail, scoot out of the way etc. Not shaken per sey, but accept more pressure. My dog at 11 months or so was nearly ran over by a jogger that rounded a corner on us, and was immediately at the end of her leash - and she's a head hunter, goes straight for the face. Now, she's basically fine with anyone we meet and can be petted, but is a bit suspicious until I meet that person again. So I approach these things from the standpoint of what "can" happen. As far as dog meetings, even when your dog is perfectly mannered in public, another dog can bring chaos to your feet. Seems we just read a post a few weeks ago about that. But, I totally get your position.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

I tell people no. Sometimes I explain. Other times I don't. Our dogs are not public property. If people are rolling their eyes, just ask them if you can pet them in return.

Is your dog friendly? No. (my favorite because it's an easy out)
Can I pet your dog? No. Why? Because I said so. Is he friendly? Yes but I'm not. 

Why do we have to accommodate every stranger that has no impulse control? I just want to spend time with my dog and enjoy my peace.

Now if it's a well behaved child? I like to have them toss food on the ground for the dogs so the dogs think they are little Pez dispensers.


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

Everyone always wants to pet my pups when I'm out, and not every pup I've had WANTED to be petted, so when asked, I've taken up the habit of saying "You'll have to ask (Dog's name)."
On the one hand, it makes the person asking pay attention to the dog's body language, because that's whose permission is being asked (not that I don't watch as well), and if the dog says no, well, I didn't have to deny you. They did.

But, BECAUSE pushy idiots do exist that will reach out no matter what you say, I have taken pains to make sure that Sutter Cain will not bite anyone who does this. He is allowed to back up, he is not allowed to growl or show teeth. But more often than not, he will sniff and allow himself to be touched but he doesn't want to be your friend. And I am PERFECTLY happy with that.

He will also accept treats from you IF I say ok. Otherwise he takes it and spits it back out again. Makes life safer for the both of us no matter who we encounter. MOST people are, thankfully, very respectful of our space. But there's always the chance...


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Sunflowers said:


> “He bites.”
> They go away.


I’ve told a few people that my mini Eskie bites. One lady stood there and said “no she doesn’t” and and pet my dog real quick! She quickly walked away. Like wtf?


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## Mannix (12 mo ago)

The few times when someone has asked to pet Mannix in the back of the SUV I've allowed it, makes me a little nervous but he does good. It's good exposure for him, last thing I want is a bite dog.
If people try to pet him while I'm in the store briefly he just backs away from the window, doesn't freak out. I couldn't be more pleased with him.
He's very aloof towards people.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Mannix said:


> The few times when someone has asked to pet Mannix in the back of the SUV I've allowed it, makes me a little nervous but he does good. It's good exposure for him, last thing I want is a bite dog.
> If people try to pet him while I'm in the store briefly he just backs away from the window, doesn't freak out. I couldn't be more pleased with him.
> He's very aloof towards people.
> View attachment 582649


Ah! My next gsd boy has to be black!


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Rabidwolfie said:


> Everyone always wants to pet my pups when I'm out, and not every pup I've had WANTED to be petted, so when asked, I've taken up the habit of saying "You'll have to ask (Dog's name)."
> On the one hand, it makes the person asking pay attention to the dog's body language, because that's whose permission is being asked (not that I don't watch as well), and if the dog says no, well, I didn't have to deny you. They did.
> 
> But, BECAUSE pushy idiots do exist that will reach out no matter what you say, I have taken pains to make sure that Sutter Cain will not bite anyone who does this. He is allowed to back up, he is not allowed to growl or show teeth. But more often than not, he will sniff and allow himself to be touched but he doesn't want to be your friend. And I am PERFECTLY happy with that.
> ...


Yeah people sometimes think they can take over the dog when they are allowed(or may even not). There was one man when permitted to pet my pup and my pup was not done sniffing. He even tried to push her butt to sit her. Really pissed me!


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

Mannix said:


> The few times when someone has asked to pet Mannix in the back of the SUV I've allowed it, makes me a little nervous but he does good. It's good exposure for him, last thing I want is a bite dog.
> If people try to pet him while I'm in the store briefly he just backs away from the window, doesn't freak out. I couldn't be more pleased with him.
> He's very aloof towards people.
> View attachment 582649


Wow - he's really handsome. Sounds like an ideal GS too.


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## Mannix (12 mo ago)

Hopps said:


> I’ve told a few people that my mini Eskie bites. One lady stood there and said “no she doesn’t” and and pet my dog real quick! She quickly walked away. Like wtf?


I'd be careful with that, that lady probably was looking for a lawsuit, you walking a "you admitted" bite dog without a muzzle which then bit her.
She probably was trying to provoke your dog with the "real quick" pat.

I've had a few people ask if Mannix bites, I tell them only if you're a squirrel.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Mannix said:


> I'd be careful with that, that lady probably was looking for a lawsuit, you walking a "you admitted" bite dog without a muzzle which then bit her.
> She probably was trying to provoke your dog with the "real quick" pat.
> 
> I've had a few people ask if Mannix bites, I tell them only if you're a squirrel.
> ...


she was one of many people that thought her dead dog had taken over my dog’s body and that she HAD to pet her. I let it be because she was probably grieving heavily.


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## Chloé&Buck (Jul 1, 2020)

That's another good one Hopps about the "no she doesn't" lady.
Looks like you come across cool specimens.


Mannix said:


> I'd be careful with that, that lady probably was looking for a lawsuit, you walking a "you admitted" bite dog without a muzzle which then bit her.
> She probably was trying to provoke your dog with the "real quick" pat.
> 
> I've had a few people ask if Mannix bites, I tell them only if you're a squirrel.
> ...


What the ****?! 😱 Lol
He does this from getting excited at squirrels?


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

pleased with my gal-dog yesterday. We left our RV to go to our truck to head out to the beach. A fellow camper, who says that all dogs loved him, asked if he could pet my gal. I told him, no, she has no interest in anyone but us right now (she was excited and wanted to get into our truck). He had enough sense to not force the issue. I don't think she even noticed him. 

granted, it is not always that way but it sure made that one interaction easier. I think the folks around here are learning to keep a respectful distance from our dog, and I like it that way. Our big-boy, who had the confidence to knock a full grown man down, was just such a "can I touch him" magnet.


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## Mannix (12 mo ago)

Chloé&Buck said:


> What the ****?! 😱 Lol
> He does this from getting excited at squirrels?


Yes and I don't have to encourage it. Had to put a stop to it at the house, he was going to kill my trees.
He has an incredible prey drive. Looked at his 3 generation pedigree, didn't see any beavers in it...

He thought he could take a deer during rut season, hopefully he learned from it. The coyotes run/hide in terror when Mannix is in the woods!


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Chloé&Buck said:


> That's another good one Hopps about the "no she doesn't" lady.
> Looks like you come across cool specimens.
> 
> What the ****?! 😱 Lol
> He does this from getting excited at squirrels?


My late dog, the mini eskie, was a MAGNET for some serious weirdos. The dog was disgustingly cute and actually just looked like a Samoyed puppy. One guy tried to borrow my dog for his children’s birthday party at the park. I let the birthday girl pet her for a second and left. 
Other weird exchanges: this one happened at a feed store
Stranger: “if you don’t want your dog, can I have your dog”
Me: “no you cannot have my dog, she is well loved”
Stranger: “Can I give you my phone number just in case you change your mind?”
Me: “No I will not change my mind, please leave us alone” 
Stranger “but my children said they love your dog. I’ll give you $2000 for it”
Me: “leave me alone, please” the cashier quickly finished my transaction and literally helped me through the door

final weird exchange: this one was actually kind of scary. Happened in broad daylight in my neighborhood.
2 Strangers: “What kind of puppy is that?” While petting my dog
Me: “it’s a 6 year old mini eskie, she is full grown”
2 Stranger: “that’s not possible she had to be a puppy! Look at her! Tell us what kind of puppy she is”
Me: she’s a full grown mini eskie, leave us alone. (I start pulling away
2 Strangers: NO. Tell us what kind of puppy she is. (At this point they grabbed her collar and wouldn’t let go. Seriously tense moments because I thought they were going to take my dog. My dog on the other hand was wagging her tail even though she was probably about to get kidnapped)
Me: She is a Samoyed puppy. She is 4 months old
2 strangers: See I knew it! You shouldn’t be a liar. (Slowly let’s go of my dog) 
Me: ok have a nice day. And we booked it.

I have no idea why people feel so entitled concerning other people’s dogs. It was definitely super creepy and uncomfortable


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

Wow, I'm glad no one ever tried stealing my dogs like that. That's when "Nevermind the dog, beware the owner" comes into play.

I HAVE had people offer to buy Sutter Cain from me before, though. What kind of mentality do you have to have to see someone walking their dog in public and think "They must be trying to sell it."


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## Gwyllgi (Aug 16, 2017)

Hopps said:


> How are the "do not pet" patches working for you? I'm seriously considering getting one for Fern. Has it reduced the amount of times people approach your dog?


Yes, a bit, it would be better to have one across the chest also, so that people can see it head on.


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## Rionel (Jun 17, 2020)

Gwyllgi said:


> Yes, a bit, it would be better to have one across the chest also, so that people can see it head on.


If you use a tactical-ish collar at some point they often have Velcro strips, and there are sizes of embroidered patches for them as well. Got some from Amazon - very inexpensive. This is a 1.5" but there are 1.75" collars depending on your needs.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

I think this greatly depends on the temperament of the dog and your particular preferences. Reward what you like and correct what you don't.

Valor could care less about other people, but he will go say hi, sometimes. His focus is still on me, so I don't really care. If someone wants to pet him, I just tell them not to be offended when he doesn't care.

Marshall, my lab bomb dog, was a social butterfly. We needed rules and it was black and white what he was allowed to do. It's just a matter of consistency, rewarding good stuff and correcting bad stuff.

It really depends on the dog IMO


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## Gwyllgi (Aug 16, 2017)

@Rionel Good idea.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

Hopps said:


> My late dog, the mini eskie, was a MAGNET for some serious weirdos. The dog was disgustingly cute and actually just looked like a Samoyed puppy. One guy tried to borrow my dog for his children’s birthday party at the park. I let the birthday girl pet her for a second and left.


You weren't tempted to charge $10 per pet per child, cash, in advance?


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## xthine (Nov 9, 2018)

Hi there OP!

Good for you! I was very nervous about telling people “no” early on in our training. Breeder and trainer were very good about reinforcing why I need to advocate for Josie. I’ve been told I’m too nice and soft.

We live in a tourist town , are regularly out on the trails, and often encounter people who ask the “Can i pet your dog” or can I take a picture of your dog question.

My response is typically a smile followed by “I’m sorry we’re training right now” to the pets. That usually gets the job done without push back. The most I’ve seen is a grown person groaning and pouting (full on duck face), I’ve yet to see that reaction from a 5 year old. 
Sometimes I’ll get a follow up question on why, then I explain the training that we do..e.g. rally, obedience, socialization, whatever will fit the scenario. 

As Josie’s grown older along with my self confidence and assertiveness, I’ve removed the DO NOT PET patch. Mainly use our “In Training” or “Trail Patrol” patch.

Will update the thread when we get our first (witnessed) eye roll.  


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Dunkirk said:


> You weren't tempted to charge $10 per pet per child, cash, in advance?


Lmao I feel like i could have made good money renting my dog out to birthday parties! My dog would loved that, such a weirdo


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

I always say no. One dog doesn’t care for strangers and the other can be a little too friendly, which I don’t want people to know. There is also the chance that friendly dog may change its mind. I don’t want to take that chance.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

Hopps said:


> Lmao I feel like i could have made good money renting my dog out to birthday parties! My dog would loved that, such a weirdo


My golden is a beauty queen!


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## Peter Maddalone (Apr 14, 2021)

Omg I thought I was one of the few that says NO to people asking to pet my dogs .
I have raised Dobermans and GSD though out my life and never went up to stranger to ask to pet their dog . Mostly if I liked the dog I said nice dog never in my life I had an urge to pet a strange dog.
Sometimes I take my two German Shepherds to self dog wash at store by my house and people, strangers ask can I pet your dog ! Answer is always no but in a polite way , and the looks I get really . And then the other question they say is why because will they bite me .
No I just don’t want strangers to pet my dog , that’s not answered so politely !
What would make strangers want to pet a strange 85 pound and a hundred and ten pound German Shepherd !!!


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

Peter Maddalone said:


> What would make strangers want to pet a strange 85 pound and a hundred and ten pound German Shepard!!!


Because we as a species seem to like petting things.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

Peter Maddalone said:


> What would make strangers want to pet a strange 85 pound and a hundred and ten pound German Shepard!!!


You know I sometimes get purposely bit by strange 
85 and 110 pound dogs. Never met a shepard before. Definitely interested in that one.


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

German shephards are a new breed. They look just like german shepHERDS but they bite harder.

I'll see myself out.


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## Peter Maddalone (Apr 14, 2021)

Thank you all , corrected …. My mistake lol “ spell “ check and not proof reading . But I heard that breed is a rare one lol !


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## Life with Adrian. (Jan 18, 2021)

I got tired of people asking and got patches for his harness that say. Give me space, I'm working, don't pet and ( I BITE)


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

I've gotten to a point where folks might think I am weird. If I ask to meet someone's dog, and they agree, I just go and stand sideways near the dog. They sniff me and if they walk away it is all good. If they bump my hand to get pet, I'll pet them. Sure I'd love to run my hands through their warm fur but I take the dog's lead. Maybe modeling this behavior will make a few people think about how best to approach dogs. Even if it is just one or two here and there.


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## Galathiel (Nov 30, 2012)

I don't really ask to pet people's dogs because .. they're not mine. The only dog I pet willy nilly is my sister's shih tzu. She runs to me because she loves attention so I must give it. 

About approaching a dog, I agree with @car2ner. I was once in a class when Varik was an older pup/adolescent (can 't remember his exact age at the time). In the class was a very shy dog that they were trying to gently work on. She asked if I would greet the dog with a treat. I squatted down sideways to the dog, not too close, and let the dog come to me, then rewarded it, mostly without looking at it, just speaking quietly to the owner. Worked well.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

Galathiel said:


> I don't really ask to pet people's dogs because .. they're not mine. The only dog I pet willy nilly is my sister's shih tzu. She runs to me because she loves attention so I must give it.
> 
> About approaching a dog, I agree with @car2ner. I was once in a class when Varik was an older pup/adolescent (can 't remember his exact age at the time). In the class was a very shy dog that they were trying to gently work on. She asked if I would greet the dog with a treat. I squatted down sideways to the dog, not too close, and let the dog come to me, then rewarded it, mostly without looking at it, just speaking quietly to the owner. Worked well.


When I ask to approach a dog it usually isn't to pet them, but because we might be crossing paths on occasion. I want the dog to become familiar with me. Or sometimes a dog seems curious about me and I don't mind if they come over to see what I am all about. I admit, I do like to pet other dogs but I know better.
Now I do admit there is a pup nearby that has the such soft silly fur, that I am glad it wants to play and tussle. She is so soft.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

car2ner said:


> I've gotten to a point where folks might think I am weird. If I ask to meet someone's dog, and they agree, I just go and stand sideways near the dog. They sniff me and if they walk away it is all good. If they bump my hand to get pet, I'll pet them. Sure I'd love to run my hands through their warm fur but I take the dog's lead. Maybe modeling this behavior will make a few people think about how best to approach dogs. Even if it is just one or two here and there.


Actually I just met a lady asking to “pet” dog. She is willing to follow all my instructions then I will allow it. So rare that people understand what training a dog takes.


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## gtaroger (Aug 4, 2015)

As a puppy I let about anyone pet my dog, but as he got older I stopped them from petting.He wore the vest with do not pet.When I'm asked I alway said in a freindly tone no he's working.He seemed quit content to just lay and watch them as we talked.Some times it gets pretty hard to get them to listen to what you say. I left Sawyer in the back of my SUV while I went in to a party store . I looked out the window of the store to see a lady with her hand held out walking to the half opened window of my SUV. I ran out and stopped her. I told her if she put her hand or face in the window she would get bitten.And she would have. She informed me that she wasn't trying to pet my dog,and would have only if I had given her my permission.All dogs will bit. I know that my dog would bit if you went into my car,house,yard without me .Most GSD are protective of their family ,yard,house and car. All of my GSD that I've ever had would not let you in my house or yard by yourself.I'm quit happy with that arrangement.Pick who you want your dog to know. My daughter is grown and lives in her own home,but when she comes over Sawyer let her dog in and run around and play with them. That's socialized enough for me.Try to remember people can do the strangest things toward animals. When my brother inlaw comes to my house I have watch over not the dog.


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## kigers24 (May 24, 2016)

Mine is my Mobility assistance Service Dog so dealing with asking to pet is a daily issue. I say no he is working. It's obvious they're Service Dogs. Mine are with me wherever I go including restaurants and non pet friendly places. I always try to be polite but have no problem being rude when nesssary. 
I have a friend who is blind and uses a guide dog and gets asked on regular basis Can I pet your dog? 🤷‍♀️
Mine are never allowed to interact with the public when harnessed. From the time they start wearing a vest in public at 4 months old while training I don't allow petting. My dogs focus has to be on me and not some stranger while working. I train them to ignore people and other animals they may encounter when in public. 
I have 2 Service Dogs. Both GSD. One is 6 years old and the other one is 2 years old. Both are well socialized but socializing a SD in training has nothing to do with allowing people to pet them. It's exposing them to thousands of different people, places, surfaces, objects and noises while puppies. 

My 6 year old SD Nashoba ❤🐾🐕‍🦺


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

I KNOW it's probably annoying and a bad habit, but sometimes when I see a beautiful well behaved service dog in public, I will approach the person to compliment their dog. I don't ask to touch, I don't talk to the dog or try to get it's attention, but I just can't help myself. I have to tell the owner how much I love their pooch.

If I ever do this to you in the future, please forgive me. I'm just a dog lover.

I try to keep my distance from walkers unless the dog approaches me first. If your dog comes to ME looking for attention, I am going to pet the heck out of them. I'm rather like my OWN dog in this way, I don't really care about people but I love to befriend every other pup I cross paths with and it takes a lot of effort to resist doing it. LOL


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## drparker151 (Apr 10, 2020)

kigers24 said:


> Both are well socialized but socializing a SD in training has *nothing to do with allowing people to pet them. It's exposing them to thousands of different people, places, surfaces, objects and noises while puppies.*


I wish more people understood this about "socializing" a puppy, it is not about meeting people and other dogs up close.


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## OldGreg (May 18, 2020)

We are very lucky because everyone asks us before hand if they can pet Cannoli. When I was a kid my mother taught me to always ask and respect when an owner says "no." I have a hard time saying no and have been trying to learn to be more assertive. It is very difficult. I took a few horseback riding lessons and that helped a lot.

Usually we say "I'm sorry but Cannoli is training right now" 

Sent from my moto g power using Tapatalk


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## Sidiyakti (Nov 6, 2020)

ldmpku said:


> Finally I am brave enough and proud to say no to people asking to pet my pup randomly. I do explain myself that we are in training and don’t want to confuse the pup that she is allowed to meet everyone. However there are people rolling their eyes and turn around and leave immediately. Kind of sad. How do you guys say no to people asking to pet your dogs?


Keep being BRAVE, and keep saying “NO” I do to and I have to Roman is not receptive to any strangers. Normally GSD’s need an introduction to strangers.
Your doing the right thing,
Be Happy together,
Roman & Dr. C


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

At the vet yesterday. This woman comes out of the room and walks very slowly and creepily towards us. She gets within 10' and says "is he nice?" Me...looking at collars and like "huh??" So she repeats. I said yeah he's nice. So she creeps forward so slowly towards him. I quickly said "he's sick. you don't need to pet him". I mean...we are at the doggy doctor lady. So she scurries back to her room with her dog.

1) You're about to be bit because you are creepy
2) why are you trying to pet my dog in a vet's office? Do you think we want your germs?
3) Why are you being so creepy???
4) Why do you think my dog wants your attention?
5) again...why the creepy? I just can't even.


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## drparker151 (Apr 10, 2020)

Wow 

"Yeah he's nice, but you're creeping me out, so he'll probably bite you"


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

drparker151 said:


> Wow
> 
> "Yeah he's nice, but you're creeping me out, so he'll probably bite you"


LOL yes!!!

I wonder what prompted her to leave her dog in the exam room and stalk my dog in the waiting room.


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## hanshund (Oct 13, 2021)

@Jax08 , you might like the video at the end of the following article - I know I do lol :

"_Brooklyn-based Mr Caine uploaded an angry, expletive-filled video attacking people who pet strangers’ dogs because he claims they damage the animals’ training by encouraging them to misbehave. YouTube commenters, a very vocal community at the best of times, have been split by his controversial point of view._"









'Most aggressive dog trainer ever' sparks debate about petting others' dogs


Brooklyn-based dog trainer Peter Caine has sparked a fierce debate on YouTube about the etiquette surrounding petting other people's dogs in public.




metro.co.uk


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

Actually, that guy makes some good points. If the dog is just out for a walk and behaving itself, you really shouldn't whistle or call to it, or try to distract it. And teaching a dog to jump on someone is horrible manners. 

He doesn't say you should NEVER touch ANYONE'S dog EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. He gives very reasonable ones and makes good points. I don't really get why people have an issue with them except that it's the internet and people will argue with you if you tell them that water is wet.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Jax08 said:


> At the vet yesterday. This woman comes out of the room and walks very slowly and creepily towards us. She gets within 10' and says "is he nice?" Me...looking at collars and like "huh??" So she repeats. I said yeah he's nice. So she creeps forward so slowly towards him. I quickly said "he's sick. you don't need to pet him". I mean...we are at the doggy doctor lady. So she scurries back to her room with her dog.
> 
> 1) You're about to be bit because you are creepy
> 2) why are you trying to pet my dog in a vet's office? Do you think we want your germs?
> ...


What the heck, did I read this right? She just left her dog in the examination room to creepily stalk your dog? What a strange incident


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Hopps said:


> What the heck, did I read this right? She just left her dog in the examination room to creepily stalk your dog? What a strange incident



 YES! yes she did! 

My daughter always calls me out for "using [my] nice voice". I did not use my nice voice. It was one octave below "if you come any closer the vet will be patching YOU up".


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

We have an in law that Samson reacts to with a growl because he whispers hello in a creepy voice while staring at him intently. He thinks he's being soothing but he sounds like a cartoonish villain that has an axe concealed behind his back.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

my hubby, if we are out walking and someone looks like they are moving in too closely, would have said "No Bite". Of course our big-boy had no idea what that meant but it did get people to give us space.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

dogma13 said:


> We have an in law that Samson reacts to with a growl because he whispers hello in a creepy voice while staring at him intently. He thinks he's being soothing but he sounds like a cartoonish villain that has an axe concealed behind his back.


My favorite is when I take either of them to the office. My door is closed because my dogs don't need to run around. So one engineer, and her boyfriend who comes in sometimes, will come stand at the window while my dogs are hackling and growling. Staring at them and saying "ohhh good doggie"

Yes. Yes indeedy. Good Doggie.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

Jax08 said:


> My favorite is when I take either of them to the office. My door is closed because my dogs don't need to run around. So one engineer, and her boyfriend who comes in sometimes, will come stand at the window while my dogs are hacklng and growling. Staring at them and saying "ohhh good doggie"
> 
> Yes. Yes indeedy. Good Doggie.


I can be bad that way too. At the RV park, I was doing some work on my boat and one of the dogs nearby was barking, "I see you. I see you" to which I replied "I know, I see you too" while the owner was yelling for him to stop barking. 

My bad. I know better than to do anything to reinforce that behavior. But at least I didn't approach her dog. I stayed working on my boat.


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## ldmpku (Jul 5, 2021)

We went to vet today and my pup is watching everything in the lobby with no intention to go to anyone. Suddenly an old man came in and went straight to her to try to touch her. At first I didn’t catch it cuz I was playing phone. My pup avoided it(literally head dodge it without moving her position). And he tried again! I was so angry and stop him with my arm hitting his hand. Why do people try again when my dog already shows dislikes? “Sadly” my pup is pretty neutral to human.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

We have contractors in and I tell every one of them "please don't pet the dogs" but there's always one that sticks their hand out and says "don't worry, dogs like me" or "don't worry I have a dog too"  _SNAP_


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## AE316 (Oct 24, 2017)

Tell them not to touch the stove. Oh don't worry I have one at home too lol. Touch. Ouch! I got burnt. Durr.


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## Mannix (12 mo ago)

ldmpku said:


> “Sadly” my pup is pretty neutral to human.


That's what you want, an "aloof" dog.

A head dodge is perfect, you don't want your dog reacting viciously or biting people that are just being "people".
Especially when you are distracted, not paying attention.
On the other hand if you are being attacked I'd bet your dog wouldn't be so "neutral". That's the beauty of a good GSD.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

WNGD said:


> We have contractors in and I tell every one of them "please don't pet the dogs" but there's always one that sticks their hand out and says "don't worry, dogs like me" or "don't worry I have a dog too"  _SNAP_


I wonder what their logic is. Like how does them having a dog negate the fact that you don’t want them to pet your dogs. 

There was a lady that approached Fern and I told her that she is shy. She said oh that’s ok I have big dogs too. Fern rejected all advances because she doesn’t care for strangers unless it’s children.


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