# Your definition of "aloof" or "standoffish" - and what is acceptable?



## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

*Your definition of "aloof" or "standoffish" - and what is acceptable?*

My boy is 1/2 WGSD. He showed fear issues young, so there was a ton of socialization done over the past year.

He didn't like it when random people would come to pat his head as a young pup, and at 14 months, he doesn't appreciate it now.

By "not appreciate," I mean that if they come right up and attempt to pat his head, he will likely back up. He likes to take his time to watch that person and sniff around them for awhile. Some people, if we're around them long enough, he may eventually seek out for a pet; others, he never bothers to approach at all.

This behavior is seen most often at obedience class. When we've joined the next class, the trainer is new and we have to start over with that person.

Occasionally at places like Petco, the random person will try to approach and do the head-pat. (Why do they do that? I would never reach over a dog's head as an initial greeting?) But, people do odd things in public. Bailey always backs up on these types of greetings. They're strangers and he doesn't warm up that fast.

This is also what gave us the most grief in getting thru his CGC. (He did pass, but they did a "re-test.")

Now, I've read countless times that it is acceptable and even typical that a GSD is "aloof" and "standoffish." (Though my boy is a mix,) I think I am interpreting his behavior as this. Yes, yes, there is some fear lurking in there -- nerve issues -- but he doesn't freak out on anyone, doesn't bark, lunge, cower, etc -- he just backs up as to say, "I'd rather you not."

How do you interpret this? How do you define "aloof" ? What is "acceptable" aloof type behavior?


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## ShenzisMom (Apr 27, 2010)

For me my dogs must tolerate strangers presence. They do not have to seek attention, and they must be polite when they have had enough interaction with someone they sought attention from. You MUST know your dogs body language and be their advocate.


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## Gmthrust (Mar 3, 2010)

Chelle, it's kinda funny, but what helped my girl Keek get past the head petting dealy, was for me to pet her head myself while saying, "Friend," then treat. I practiced (and still practice) doing that until her eyes sparkled in understanding. Keek can now string together the whole question, "Is you're dog friendly---can I pet her?" ....from 'Petco-type' strangers asking to pet her. I figured if Keek could get it my other girls could learn it, too, even our newest family member...a four and a half y/o chihuahua. All learned it by me charging the word, Friend, and coupled that with the action of petting their head, then treat. I practiced it in different scenarios, and with my trusted friendships. They're not perfect yet, but it's such a good practice, always....

Because I sure do believe you're right about a lot of folks, even the ones who you'd EXPECT to know better, they want to lean over to pet a dog's head! Good grief. So all my girls get that maneuver.

It pays off, though, especially when you least expect it!


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Aloof/Standoffish is completely different than avoidance. I've seen Jax do both.

Aloof---A stranger approaches and asks to pet Jax. Ok, Jax sniffs and lets them pet but really has no interest in them after the initial sniff.

Avoidance---A girl in line in front of us reaches back to pet Jax without asking. She keeps leaning over Jax and Jax keeps backing up WITH her head turned away from the girl.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

An 'aloof' dog won't back away when someone attempts to pat it's head. An 'aloof' dog tolerates. An 'aloof' dog won't respond to the pat with either a negative or positive reaction. They simply tolerate.


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## Gmthrust (Mar 3, 2010)

(Edited because I didn't realize other posts were there!) lol


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## zyppi (Jun 2, 2006)

Most dogs do not like being patted on their heads... heck, I wouldn't want someone patting my head. Uninformed people do this and sounds like your dog is simply showing avoidance behavior.

That to me is a different issue than the aloof stance of the breed.

Aloof, to me (dictionary has all sorts of angles on it) means neither engaged nor distancing themselves from such stimuli as being approached by strangers or noise of traffic etc.. Not unaware, just confident. Labs are all wiggles when meeting friends, GSDs are more reserved but not unfriendly.

Just my thought.


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## ponyfarm (Apr 11, 2010)

Here is my take on three types of dogs..
the golden retreiver type: waggy, waggy, wiggle, cant sit still, somebody wants to pet me.

the shy type: I hope they dont pet me, if so I will back up, look the other way.

the aloof, confident type: whatever,go ahead and pet me, I might wag my tail to be polite or I might not even acknowlege you as I have other things on my agenda!
(My Max! I think people are dissapointed he doesnt gush all over them!)


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Anne - Can't a dog be aloof at times and at other times show avoidance? I'm not sure that Jax is a very confident dog but 99% of the time she is aloof with people rather than avoiding them.

Dogs are another issue..100% avoidance or reaction. 

So can't a dog be both depending on the circumstances?


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Ok this is interesting and I'm glad I asked the question. It is avoidance, not aloofness. 

Gmthrust, good ideas. I don't really mind so much that he doesn't want people patting his head, but don't like the fear aspect of it.


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

chelle, that's correct...I think of it how Lillie described, not backing away but just not fawning over anyone. Tolerating a pat or two on the head but not "warming" to the person. 
My Dachshund Tristan is a good example of aloof - although not a breed trait I don't think, for Doxies, he'll walk over if someone calls him over, at the Petstore for instance. He'll go over, check their hand for a treat and if there is none, he just turns and walks away and comes back to me. He's not backing up in avoidance, but basically "you have nothing I want or desire", as in contact. 

Basically, he's a food **** but if they don't have a treat he could care less about them


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## Gmthrust (Mar 3, 2010)

Chelle said, "_I don't really mind so much that he doesn't want people patting his head, but don't like the fear aspect of it._"

Yep, that's how I see it, too. Keek has been such a crazy roller-coaster ride I hafta help influence a fear into something that becomes a more positive perception for her. She attracts attention wherever she goes---everybody wants to pet her, be near her, etc., especially kids----I guess maybe it's because of the movie Bolt. And I gotta say that Bailey, boy howdy, he really is "Bolt" looking, just really-super-appealing extra-ultra cute! So, anyway, that's why I go out of my way to teach Keek (and my other girls) that being pet on the head is normal everyday human gestures. It's been quite the project. lol.


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## phgsd (Jun 6, 2004)

My first GSD was like your dog when she was younger - but as she matured the backing away turned into standing her ground and growling, and once or twice threatening to bite when people (husband's idiot macho friend) really tried to push it. 
Not saying your guy will be the same way, but I would be prepared so you know how to react if he does start to growl.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Even as a puppy Hondo was never the waggy butt friendly type dog. As an adult, the best way I can describe him is; Yes, he'll ride the float in your parade but don't expect him to wave.


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