# So ashamed of my GSD.......



## W.Oliver

So....Friday night, been out of town on business for a few days, sittin' around the family room, playin' with the kids and the dog having a grand old time, when suddenly the door bell rings. Its the pizza! You guys know the drill....WOOF, off to the front door, and WOOF, WOOF, WOOF.

I am scrabling, looking for my coat, which has my wallet....and of course, my coat is nowhere to be found. All the time, ding-dong, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF.

I finally find my coat, retrieve my wallet, and rush to the front foyer. As I enter the confined space....it hits me! Thick, terrible, damp and just hanging in the air...holy mother of God....the stench.....DOG FART! I stumble, struggling to remain conscious as I reach for the door knob and say "platz".

Unfortunatley, the foyer air is so foul and polluted, opening the door does not inject fresh air into the foyer, oh no, the stench from the foyer contaminates the outdoors, and in the process, smacks the pizza guy right in the face! The look on this poor guy's face, the tears in his eyes...the look of horror! I thought he was going to drop the pizzas as he joined me in the struggle to remain consious!

I am so ashamed....


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## Raziel

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM DYING!!!!!!


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## onyx'girl

I hope you tipped him well!!


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## Samba

Wayne!!!! It's really gettin' old blamin it on the dog!!!


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## BucksMom

That is just to durn funny








Glad I wasn't the pizza guy or you!!!! LOL LOL


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## Minnieski

! I know exactly what you mean - Minnie did this a few months ago when the pizza guy showed up, only instead of releasing gas she decided it was a good time to empty her anal glands on the floor in the foyer. I about died!


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## Jason L

> Originally Posted By: SambaWayne!!!! It's really gettin' old blamin it on the dog!!!


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## sitstay

Hey, you could have blamed it on the dog with a totally straight, honest face!
Sheilah


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## Raziel

> Originally Posted By: Minnieski
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> ! I know exactly what you mean - Minnie did this a few months ago when the pizza guy showed up, only instead of releasing gas she decided it was a good time to empty her anal glands on the floor in the foyer. I about died!


Um, bad question here.
What does "emptying anal glands" mean??????????
Pooping??


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## sagelfn

> Originally Posted By: onyx'girl
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> I hope you tipped him well!!


I 2nd that one!


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## Samba

Oooh, AngelR, if you haven't experienced the anal gland blow yet you have lead a blessed and charmed life!! Jus you wait!


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## jake

people seem WAAY more tolerant of doggy gas than dogs are of people gas.Ever gotten that OMIGOD look and slinking away from your furperson??


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## Raziel

> Originally Posted By: ttalldogpeople seem WAAY more tolerant of doggy gas than dogs are of people gas.Ever gotten that OMIGOD look and slinking away from your furperson??



:rofl: I agree! Usually when my dog does it everyone laughs.
But if one of our friends do it........ewwwwww *as I move into the next room & people scatter*


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## Tihannah

CLASSIC!!!


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## W.Oliver

> Originally Posted By: onyx'girl
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> I hope you tipped him well!!


I am not sure if I paid for the pizzas...its pretty fuzzy, but I seem to recall the delivery guy started choking, then he simply turned and ran. All I really remember was the sound of him running through the snow, off into the dark, gaging.

I am unclear when my appetite will return? I'm not sure I can ever eat pizza again?


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## AngelJ

I needed that. Laughed so hard, I'm crying!!!


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## mjbgsd

Now that is a good laugh!!!


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## Samba

Yup, funny stuff!!


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## onyx'girl

I am on my way for a slice of pizza right now, this thread made me hungry? Good girl Dayna!!


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## StGeorgeK9

> Originally Posted By: Wayne02
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> Originally Posted By: onyx'girl
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> I hope you tipped him well!!
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> I am not sure if I paid for the pizzas...its pretty fuzzy, but I seem to recall the delivery guy started choking, then he simply turned and ran. All I really remember was the sound of him running through the snow, off into the dark, gaging.
> 
> I am unclear when my appetite will return? I'm not sure I can ever eat pizza again?
Click to expand...

And dog sitting in the corner saying "WAHAHA, my evil plan has worked!!!! The pizza is MINE I SAY ALL MINE!!!"


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## jake

A true GSD owner can clean up runny poop with one hand and eat the slice of pizza they have in their other hand!!


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## katieliz

omgosh, i needed that laugh SO bad tonight. SO BAD. thank you wayne, THANK YOU.


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## onyx'girl

NOoo, I think that is a bulldog owners claim!!!


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## rjvamp




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## elisabeth_00117

Hahahahahahaha..... TOO FUNNY!


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## doggiedad

can't help with the farting dog but you could teach
your dog to go his place while you answer the door.


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## Zisso

Too stinkin' funny! (pun intended) Thanks for a good laugh!


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## Ruthie

Oh my, I am laughing so hard that I almost let the cake burn.


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## amy_gbb

OMG - what kind of parent are you??? My perfect Shiloh would NEVER fart in front of anyone.....


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## jake

Amy-guess your dog didn't have hoppin john for new year.


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## amy_gbb

> Originally Posted By: ttalldogAmy-guess your dog didn't have hoppin john for new year.


Absolutely not. She had a very delicate, ladylike meal - the poodle from next door.


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## onyx'girl

You are going to let Wayne eat that cake tomorrow at training?!! Your club is so lucky to have Amy/baker!


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## codmaster




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## W.Oliver

> Originally Posted By: doggiedadcan't help with the farting dog but you could teach
> your dog to go his place while you answer the door.


She does, that was the "platz" portion of the yarn. The pizza guy and I could have passed-out, and she wouldn't move until I regained consciousness, and said "free". She stinks at many things, but a long down she has got.


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## zyppi

Nothing quite like that blue cloud!


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## LuvourGSDs

> Originally Posted By: Angel R
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> IM DYING!!!!!!


Ditto, that's too funny !!!!!


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## holland

That was funny...thanks


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## MustLoveGSDs

lolololol priceless


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## JenM66

Wonderful!!!! Anyone who has had this experience can fully understand your pain. I just experienced it on Wednesday. Getting ready to go to acupuncture. Put Gracie in the truck (in her crate) and the







beagle from down the street walked by. Gracie wents nutz!!!! In the time it took me to get from the back of the truck into the front seat







OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to drive in 25 degree weather with all 4 windows wide open.......for 35 minutes. Gracie? Well she was darned proud of herself







Gotta love the blowing of those anal glands


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## StryderPup

LOL! Why are farts so funny??? LOL


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## Ruthie

> Originally Posted By: onyx'girlYou are going to let Wayne eat that cake tomorrow at training?!! Your club is so lucky to have Amy/baker!


You are too kind. Actually, my poor club members are my guinea pigs. They get alll the icky stuff too.


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## W.Oliver

> Originally Posted By: Ruthie
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> Originally Posted By: onyx'girlYou are going to let Wayne eat that cake tomorrow at training?!! Your club is so lucky to have Amy/baker!
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> You are too kind. Actually, my poor club members are my guinea pigs. They get alll the icky stuff too.
Click to expand...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Any working dog club is going to have a Helper or Decoy...big freakin deal!

Liberty Working Dog Club has a Chef....and we love her!

I grabbed a couple of photos with my phone of the two cakes she whipped-up last night...check this out!

















Yea, sure they look good....OMG they tasted even better. We are truly blessed!


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## W.Oliver

Somehow, after the fact....posting photos of those awesome cakes on a dog fart thread seems so very wrong!


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN

As long as it's not a scratch and sniff thread, we should be able to keep the two ideas separate.









This is a great story of a man and his dog and flatulence. Three things I enjoy reading about!


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## Ruthie

Dog people don't care about that stuff.







We talk about poop all the time. Thanks for the compliment.


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## G-burg

D amn how lucky are you guys.. Two good chefs in one club!


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## Samba

Okay, I still laugh when I think of this story!! How juvenile is that?!!

I saw this video and decided Wayne really must teach his dog this trick!


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## doggiedad

you don't have to ashamed, you
didn't fart. that story is hilarious!!!!!


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## Hunther's Dad

W.Oliver said:


> *I am not sure if I paid for the pizzas*...its pretty fuzzy, but I seem to recall the delivery guy started choking, then he simply turned and ran. All I really remember was the sound of him running through the snow, off into the dark, gaging.
> 
> I am unclear when my appetite will return? I'm not sure I can ever eat pizza again?


If you could get your dog to do that on command, you'd get free pizzas any time you wanted. :rofl:


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## LDB158

Ahhhh!! This made me burst out laughing! One of my dog's farts is horrid, but since I've switched their food, it hasn't been as bad.


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## bianca

:laugh: Haha that story is so so funny! Love it!


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## trish07

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! :welcome:


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## koda00

omg that is so funny! thanks for making my day!


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## FredD

Made my day!!


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## W.Oliver

I have not been on the forum in awhile, I hit New Posts, and here is this old story right at the top. I am surprised, and glad you all appreciate my humor.

Trust me, its cute in limited doses, but I tend to ware on my poor club members.

Wayne


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## onyx'girl

Come to my club for a _short_ visit, we could use a dose of your humor! You could even catch a dog or two while your at it!


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## W.Oliver

onyx'girl said:


> Come to my club for a _short_ visit, we could use a dose of your humor! You could even catch a dog or two while your at it!


Tis the season, or it that the fall? I can't remeber if I love spring training more or fall training? Either are a good time of the year to go visiting! Dan O. took this a couple of weeks ago on one of the first really nice Saturdays. You gotta luv that Wulfie! He is freakin' awesome!


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## onyx'girl

If he stood up straight, would he be taller than you? Love the pic, He is one handsome BIG boy!


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## Nisha

aah yes, I know this smell well lol mine does it every night at some point, and it always seems to happen the second I take in a deep breath... just lovely. ;-) theyre just so cute though and its hard to hold it against them!


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## eyezik

HAHA, I got a good laugh outta that.


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## Jessiewessie99

LMAO! ROFL! Tanner has such bad farts. Him and Molly lay near us while we are eating and he just lets loose.Molly, has little petite farts.

Oh this gave me a good laugh.lol


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## Angel Eyes

Thanks for a good laugh this thread was hilarious. My APBT has been farting all night  I've ran out of the room a few times. I think his anal glands MAY need expressed however....I'm sitting here thinking I dun wanna no no no lol :help:


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## KMSlemons

Oh my god, I hadn't read this before. How absolutely hilarious!!


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## VChurch

That is absolutely hilarious. Dog farts are the worst!!!! Yuck.


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## rcase

My GSD let one in the back of my truck on the hottest day of the year (103 degrees!!). Opening the windows meant roasting to death, and keeping them closed with air on meant....Well, you get the idea.


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## KZoppa

OMG ROFL!!!! I just about died!!! Riley lets them go and sneaks out of the room. We regularly carry air freshener around the house with us. Even our other dogs run for cover when Riley lets one go. his favorite time is also when the pizza guy shows up. I'm convinced he saves them up special for the pizza guy.


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## Stogey

What it is that make dog farts so putrid ... a DJ fart could knock a buzzard off a $hit wagon !


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## ChristenHolden

So far I have not had any toxic Bella farts yet. But our Shar Pei Batista. OMFG he makes my nose wanna turn inside out, my eyes water and wall paper peel off the walls. I love him to death but somtimes I wanna shove a cork up his butt.


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## Lobo dog

Haha I love digging through old threads, you find the most wonderful gems. This is just too stinking (see what I did there) funny  the comments are just as great!


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## WhimsicalRain

*Hysterical!*

Had both my husband and I in stitches.


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## middleofnowhere

Well, in this household, it is likely to be the dogs being ashamed of the human methane production! Sure you're not passing the buck?


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## Msmaria

Ha ha, dog farts are the worst. My gsd has a sensitive stomach. His farts are so toxic that even the other dogs will wake up and leave the room.


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## newlie

For whatever reason, Newlie doesn't seem to do much of this. His tend to be audible but not stinky. My dog, Max, however, was another story. Silent but deadly, his would burn the hair off the inside of your nose. We had company once, their first time to our house, and we were all sitting in the living room. At some point, I looked over and saw these puzzled/disgusted expressions on their faces, wrinkling their noses, and looking around like "What in God's name is that smell?" That's when the cloud hit me....


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## Ruger Monster

OMG I was laughing so hard at work earlier when I read this. 


Our BT passes the WORST gas ... she can clear a room or three some days. I bought her a shirt one year for Christmas that had a brown/white BT and a heart coming from its butt that said "Fart Machine". She's actually scared herself before with them, and one time in the car (of all places!) she let out one that had to have been 9-Mississippis long.


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