# Im afraid i can not keep my puppy



## Bow143

I am afraid I am not a good dog owner. I love my puppy but i am not sure if my situation is good for him. I treat him very well but I have some concerns. Is there anyone I can speak too in a chat or on AIM? I need to speak with someone soon. thank you in advance.


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## selzer

What kind of problems are you having. If someone reads the type of problems you are having, if they feel they can help they can PM or advise in the thread. Also the age of the puppy, and if possible what lines (working, American show, German show).

Lines are not necessarily that important but the more info the better, as some lines tend to have more energy, more bitey, etc, and other lines can seem a bit more shy, reserved.


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## KatieStanley

Where are you located? There are wonderful rescues that would take your puppy. Have you thought about calling the breeder? If they are a decent breeder, they will take the puppy back.


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## JakodaCD OA

she is in MA...If you'd like to email me, I'd be glad to try and help you, I'm in CT.
[email protected]


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## RebelGSD

sent you a PM


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## BowWowMeow

Here is the link for GSRNE: German Shepherd Rescue of New England, Inc

Also, dog ownership is not for everyone! The OP was given this dog for Christmas (and didn't know she was getting a dog) and has a 10mo old baby. I think the important thing is to do what's best for the puppy and to be sure if she has to give the dog up that the puppy gets placed with a responsible rescue (assuming the breeder won't take the pup back).


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## Jax08

Wasn't there a person in CT looking for a puppy to adopt?


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## JakodaCD OA

yes, a person near the ny border, was it a puppy tho?


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## Jax08

I think a young dog but it's worth asking. I just cant' remember who it was.


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## MaggieRoseLee

I agree, best thing is to call your breeder with your problems and concerns so they can help you specifically.

Otherwise, there's tons of information in the puppy section about how hard this 'puppy' thing can be. Crate training is a HUGE help, along with tons of exercise and socialization.

If you do think you are over your head though, good for you for realizing it EARLY! Way easier for your breeder to find another good home for a young puppy than to wait until it's older.


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## JakodaCD OA

Jax, it was FriendtoFido...they are near brewster ny


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## Bow143

*Thank you all for ur advice.......*

Thank you all for your advice. I really would love to keep him. I just want to make sure he is being socialized correctly. My husband only has a few free nights a week & mostly spends them out with his friends. I know he loves this dog, but being a dog owner is a big responsibility. He says it will get easier once he is trained and I am hoping that is true. The puppy is such a good boy, I want him to have the best life. I know training a dog is hard. Maybe all this is normal?


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## Jax08

I think owning and training a family dog should be a joint venture. You have a young baby, correct? Tell your husband you need some help and he needs to help train the puppy.


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## Bow143

Yes I do have a young baby and that is the main problem. Because of her I can not spend as much time with him as I would love too. I really want to keep him. I love him so much already. I already tried talking to my husband and that is not getting me anywhere. I am in this alone and already excepted that. The puppy had 3 accidents in the house today, but I don't think that is bad considering 2 of them were right after he came in ( I think he wasnt finished). How many accidents a day are normal for a 9 week old? Once again thank you for your advice. My daughter is napping and bow is sleeping on me right now he is so cute!!!


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## Jax08

Babies are alot of work.  There are a lot of people who have successfully trained a puppy with a baby. 

So, if you want to keep your puppy...

First, do you have a crate? If not, get one. When you do not have time to take him out or to keep an eye on him, put him in the crate. Don't feel bad about it. You are keeping your sanity and him safe.

Second, when he is out of the crate, until he is housebroken, keep him leashed to you. Once again, if you can't watch him to make sure he isn't going in the house then put him back in the crate.

Get some vinegar and water mixed up to clean up where he has gone. It will get rid of the smell. Lots and lots of threads on housebreaking.

When you put your daughter down for a nap, or she's in a playpen, or you just have a few minutes, take him out and play with him. 

It's never to early to start training so for just a couple minutes at a time, teach him sit, down, etc. There are lots of posts in the training section and MaggieLeeRose is the wizard at finding just the right video on youtube to help.

And baby GSD's are landsharks! They chew, play, bite. There are a lot of threads on redirecting them. Don't leave him down unattended with your baby. He won't hurt her intentionally but he might decide to teeth on her arm. There are many threads on puppies and babies.

You are not in this alone. There is lots of help for you right here.


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## Bow143

thank you tons for your advice! He sleeps in his crate and has stopped crying at night (except once a night to go to the bathroom) . At first he cried for awhile after I put him in. So thats a PLUS! Yey! I am doing one thing right haha


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## Pattycakes

Puppies are a lot of work...but I can't imagine having a baby and a puppy! LOL I agree...put him in a crate when you can't watch him closely. Having accidents is okay....he is a puppy after all. Don't be so hard on yourself...you are probably doing just fine. Ask questions...there are a lot of people on here who have some great advice.


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## Bow143

i wish i could have a puppy trainer move in with me for a month haha


gtyjr6uedurft5776y;l'''''''''''
my daughter says hi lolol


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## selzer

Victoria Stillwell???

Nah, have you ever seen any person on its me or the dog, or ceasar that you would be able to be and still walk around with your head up in your neighborhood. 

I mean really, you feed your dog from the table with a fork, and leave poo lying around in the bed room, and would face your neighbors???

You will do great with the puppy.


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## Zoeys mom

Hmmmm I have a hubby, 2 kids, and 2 dogs. While the dogs are primarily my responsibility he's still expected to help with them and the kids. Hubbies need to get out every now and then, but every night he has off? No no no- not happening. I would be overwhelmed and exhausted and thats just not fair. Puppies are a pain and a lot of work. They need to go out every hour, be watched constantly, need to run run run, chew things up, and are untrained. The more time you can devote to the pup the better he will be quicker. Enroll in a training class once a week, find your local dog park and go there often, and find friends with dogs. 

It's definitely a ton of work and can be overwhelming, but you can totally do it, and just know in another 6 months the pup will be a lot more manageable. In a year the pup will be golden- it's just that first year like with a baby that takes getting used to


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## GSDAlphaMom

Be wary of a dog park. First don't get him out until he's had all of his shots. Check that you can get him out of his 3rd set but keep it to safe places.

There's always a few idiot owners in dog parks that let their dogs run amuck and get aggressive. Puppies are imprinted in their early stages and you don't want your puppy imprinted with a bad experience.

Get him enrolled in a puppy class, he can get socialization there and you can start before he's had all of his shots since they require it of all the puppies.


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## selzer

Yeah, puppy classes are great because puppies are attached to an owner, and all are around the same age, and it is more structured than a dog park. 

Socialization period is usually 3-16 weeks, though it certainly is ok to continue socializing for the first year or two. And after that. Adults can be socialized, it is just harder. In the first sixteen weeks, experiences are processed differently, the stick with the dog more readily and will make dealing with new people places and things in the future by referencing off of them. 

This means only great things for Good Socialization Experiences. But also BAD things for Bad Socialization Experiences. 

I agree that the dog park is probably not your friend until the dog is a bit older, and you have a good base of obedience training.


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## Jax08

Do you have family close to you? Maybe someone that could come help you out a couple times a week?


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## Bow143

Zoeys mom said:


> Hmmmm I have a hubby, 2 kids, and 2 dogs. While the dogs are primarily my responsibility he's still expected to help with them and the kids. Hubbies need to get out every now and then, but every night he has off? No no no- not happening. I would be overwhelmed and exhausted and thats just not fair. Puppies are a pain and a lot of work. They need to go out every hour, be watched constantly, need to run run run, chew things up, and are untrained. The more time you can devote to the pup the better he will be quicker. Enroll in a training class once a week, find your local dog park and go there often, and find friends with dogs.
> 
> It's definitely a ton of work and can be overwhelming, but you can totally do it, and just know in another 6 months the pup will be a lot more manageable. In a year the pup will be golden- it's just that first year like with a baby that takes getting used to


your right about my husband helping. i am sad about it because he's wanted a dog for the last few months and i told him no for a lot of reasons. i said eventually we can get a dog but i want it to be the right time and warm weather. ugh it is very frusterating. On Christmas eve he came home from work with the puppy. No warnings, and has not helped very much


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## SARAHSMITH

I enrolled my puppy in a training class with a one hour puppy playtime before the class. I had devote 2 hrs once a week, plus driving time there and back. No way could I have brought a baby to this because it required my one on one attention to the puppy. My trainer felt early socialization with puppies was very important. Perhaps a babysitter once a week would work for you if your hubby is not willing to help.


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## Zoeys mom

Oh he brought the dog home against your better judgement? Oh he!! no that would not fly here and it shouldn't there. I would say honey YOU wanted a dog, YOU brought the dog home, and now YOU have fun taking care of YOUR dog. Thats just wrong on so many levels. Bringing the dog in was disrespectful in the first place without your blessing- it's not your job to deal with the repercussions. Hubby is quiet immature to think he can just do as he pleases and you'll take care of it for him. Maybe if you refused he would have to step up to the plate?


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## Bow143

he's always at work, that was why i didnt think we were ready. Another reason I didnt think we were ready is because my daughter just started walking and we are trying to get pregnant again. The dog is adorable its just alot of work, and now im inlove with the pup. I just fell a little disrespected and taken advantage of. But it should all work out in the end.


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## katieliz

zoey's mom, what works for some people does not work with all people. early in her post, the op said she had come to terms with the way her husband is, and did not ask for help with him. it's easy to judge the lifestyle of others when you're not living it. 

and maybe if the op refuses to care for the puppy the dh will not step up to the plate and then what. the op sounds like she knows what she wants help with...and sometimes people only want help with what they want help for, and not a lecture on the state of their relationship.

to the op: you will find quite a bit of knowledge and support here. welcome to the board and thanks for caring about this little guy!


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## Bow143

He's a good guy he just doesn't like anyone saying no to him and he's very into being in control. Its just hard cause I don't feel well and Bow is alot of responsibility. He is laying in my bed with me right now. I know I need to put him in his crate but I love snuggeling with him!!


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## selzer

I think that you choose your battles. If you fight over the dog, the dog will suffer. There are other ways to get back at the husband for buying something for himself for Christmas so that you would have to do everything with it. 

Do you like to camp? By him camping equipment or a 5-day vacation camping.
Or, buy him stuff for HIS dog for his birthday. Like, training classes. If he doesn't go, take the dog yourself. but remember that he wanted this dog. 

But do not force him to do everything for the dog, and not do the training yourself because he should. If he doesn't the dog suffers. Better to do it and pay him back in other nasty ways that do not effect the dog.


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## HeidiW

My husband did the same to me, only he worked 2 jobs, I had two kids and a newborn going in for open heart surgery! The puppy female GSD stayed in the car while we were in the hospital, was winter time, bad I know this was 22 yrs ago, but this dog was the most wonderful pet we ever had. So glad he brought her home without me knowing, it all turned out just fine!! The girls loved their dog! I really think you can make it work. Good luck and if you cant times are tough now economy etc, their is help.


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## Bow143

Also I would just like to say he barked at the door twice tonight, I took him out and he went to the bathroom! I think he is starting to get it!


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## Bow143

my husband is in the military and works 24 hour shifts as a fire fighter and is in school. So I do give him credit but its hard sometimes.


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## HeidiW

That is great how smart! It is just fine to snuggle with him also!!! Another thing to mention is your dog will most likely love you and obey you more than your husband if he is not spending time with him.


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## Bow143

Great advice heidi


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## Bow143

Husband seems to think that the dog is going to know hes the master. But I think since im spending the time hes going to love his mom the most. Im going to teach the dog to bite him when hes mean to me hahaha


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## HeidiW

LOL!! Well the deeper voice and bigger size will make him know dad is the man but his heart will be yours!


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## Bow143

Hahaha =) 

If I train him to be a good puppy and love everyone will he still be protective if I was in danger?


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## Zoeys mom

I was not giving the OP a lecture on her marriage, but seeing as her lack of support from the DH is causing stress it needed to be addressed. I didn't mean neglect the dog because he will not help either but if she's going to get through this and avoid a near nervous breakdown he needs to offer help when he can.


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## CaliBoy

"Bow" is such a cute name for a dog. I must be sheltered, but I've never heard that name for a dog. 

By the way, I think German Shepherd puppies are really hard to raise, so don't feel guilty about the frustrations. However, if you consistently keep an eye on them and let them know when you are displeased, they do catch on and then become the most enjoyable and loving companions.

I don't have specific advice for you, since I sense your heart is totally in the right place. But if I may be so bold, I would offer some advice for your husband. Since your husband is often away, and may not always understand Bow's bad behaviors when he is home, in a moment of frustration or anger he may be tempted to strike the puppy. I think men are quicker to do this than women, who totally get that you never hit a baby/puppy. So, just make sure that your husband understands this about Bow--corrections need to be consistent but gentle, not violent.


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## Bow143

CaliBoy-
Don't worry I wouldn't let anyone hurt Bow.I promise!
Zoey is right he should help more often. But considering I feel sick and he is out with his friends tonight on his day off doesn't give me much hope that he's going to help with the puppy or baby. But its okay he has a lot of good qualities as well.


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## Bow143

Also Caliboy-- 

I named him bow cause he had a bow on his head when I first saw him!! =)


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## selzer

A puppy with a bow on its head presented on Christmas morning or eve.

Ya have to admit, it is romantic...

Puppy chews hundreds of dollars worth of gifts, and poos and pees on the rest would be less romantic I guess.

Just thinking about how wrong a puppy for Christmas could go. 

Not helping the topic though....


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## Bow143

haha selzer. 
I have to say he was so cute when I got him but after a few hours I got mad considering it was a xmas present for HIMSELF. and spent a lot of money on him and we have bills etc. But yea i was pretty excited at first but I was also hurt considering it was against my wishes. He went to the store to get a few things he forget for the doggie and i secretly was taking pictures of him under the tree LOL


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## DharmasMom

I think everyone is forgetting what is most important here. PUPPY PICTURES!!!! We need them!!!


And welcome to the forum!!


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## KZoppa

to the OP, if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. I'm on the site pretty much every day often throughout. I'm a military wife with a 3 year old and my son will be turning 2 in June. I have a 6 year old male GSD mix, a 1.5 year old female GSD and an 8 month old puppy so i have a pretty good understanding though my husband is a homebody. lol. but i'm here if you ever want to talk and vent or whatever. I think everyone so far has given you good advice. 

One thing i want to touch on is that not all GSDs develope that protection instinct/drive. Also because you're spending more time with him than your hubby, your hubby can claim Bow is his all he wants but Bow will claim you. You are his person. Flat out. And cuddling.... totally not a problem! Makes for a very good and tolerant dog.


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## Dogaroo

Bow143 said:


> Hahaha =)
> 
> If I train him to be a good puppy and love everyone will he still be protective if I was in danger?


You betcha! 

My German Shepherdess is a very obedient girl who loves everyone. She's actually friendlier than a GSD "should" be. I didn't believe she had a protective bone in her body-- UNTIL the day I needed her. Because she's well socialized & properly trained & has a stable temperament, she's not a loose cannon. I can trust that she's not going to suddenly go ballistic & eat a small child, the little old lady down the street, or the garbage man (even though he steals our garbage & feeds it to his noisy truck with the Really Big Jaws). Even when there was a real threat, she didn't use any more force than was necessary to control the situation. All it took was a little posturing & the ol' German Shepherd "if you're gonna do something stupid, I'm ready to take you on" -stare, and two would-be bad guys suddenly remembered they had somewhere else they needed to be right then. 

I also gave my dog a couple commands in German, which might've helped encourage the bad guys to leave. Fortunately they didn't speak German, because the only German words I could remember were "schloss" and "fenster." :blush:


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## JakodaCD OA

You have gotten some GREAT advice, and I just emailed you)

YOU can do it I would TELL your husband, "I was totally unprepared for this, however, I'm willing to try and make it work if YOU are willing to HELP me!"..You have alot on your plate already with a small child and his working alot.

Its time for HIM to step up and HELP when he has free time...Taking the puppy out at nite is a good start Why should you freeze your butt off, let him see how hard it can be having a puppy

Definately get him out and socialize whereever, whenever you can. Lots of good CHEWIE things, for him, definately a crate , and I would start getting him used to your daughter,,you said you babygate him off in the kitchen,,?? Get him good and tired, and have them "meet" between the babygate...The biggest thing with a puppy and a baby,,,the puppy has teeth but know, he doesn't 'mean' to bite, it's just a normal puppy thing..

And to add, puppies have the attention span of a gnat))


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## Bow143

Yes! I got some great advice. I would be so happy if he took him out during the night, but he wont because he works in the morning.And he will be really mean to me. Bow did great in his cage last night!! I didn't put him in until pretty late because I was up with the baby and he slept until 7 am. He's doing great. Im really trying to work on the biting ankles thing! I got a babysitter for an hour today so im going to take him for a walk. Hopefully he does better then before. Last few times he hated it cause the snow. 
=)
Im replying from my blackberry so i apologize if i have alot of spelling mistakes.


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## Minnieski

Bow, I am sending you a huge virtual hug because you seriously need it. :hugs:

I know that you love your husband, but why should he be allowed to be mean to you - especially over a puppy that HE wanted? I am not trying to judge you, but I feel like you're getting the short end of the stick. Why do your opinions, health, and sanity matter less than your husband's? You are a smart, valuable person, and you deserve respect in your relationship.


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## Anja1Blue

Dogaroo said:


> You betcha!
> 
> My German Shepherdess is a very obedient girl who loves everyone. She's actually friendlier than a GSD "should" be. I didn't believe she had a protective bone in her body-- UNTIL the day I needed her. Because she's well socialized & properly trained & has a stable temperament, she's not a loose cannon. I can trust that she's not going to suddenly go ballistic & eat a small child, the little old lady down the street, or the garbage man (even though he steals our garbage & feeds it to his noisy truck with the Really Big Jaws). Even when there was a real threat, she didn't use any more force than was necessary to control the situation. All it took was a little posturing & the ol' German Shepherd "if you're gonna do something stupid, I'm ready to take you on" -stare, and two would-be bad guys suddenly remembered they had somewhere else they needed to be right then.
> 
> I also gave my dog a couple commands in German, which might've helped encourage the bad guys to leave. Fortunately they didn't speak German, because the only German words I could remember were "schloss" and "fenster." :blush:


Ha, ha, thanks for the laugh I needed! Who knew that castle and window could be so intimidating ......

To the OP - you are to be commended for asking for help and wanting to do the best for your little guy. However there are a couple of things which bother me - the obvious is that you have a husband who, great guy that he may be, is not stepping up to the plate in any way to help, either with the pup or with the baby if I am reading this right. Secondly, you say you are trying to get pregnant again. If this becomes a reality, and 9 months or so from now you have 2 very young children - where does this leave your dog? He will still require a lot of attention (GSD's need human interaction and companionship) will still require training, exercise, mental stimulation, etc etc. If your husband has the same mindset then as he has now you are going to be overwhelmed, and your dog is the one which will be placed on the back burner - you won't have a choice, you can't possibly do it all alone. (And I have to tell you, German Shepherds do very poorly if ignored or left out in the back yard.) To be honest - and please do not take this the wrong way - I think you have a selfish spoiled husband who needs to stop acting like he's a single guy. You sound very nice and caring - and deserving of better than you are getting.
__________________________________________
Susan

Anja SchH3 GSD
Conor GSD
Blue BH WH T1 GSD - waiting at the Bridge :angel:


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## Castlemaid

Bow143, glad to hear you are reading and trying hard to make it work. If you feel that this is just not the right time for a puppy in your life, nothing wrong with finding him a new home. It really isn't fair to get a puppy as a surprise gift when one wasn't ready for it, not getting any help in raising, training and socializing from the person who wanted the pup in the first place, and trying to juggle household responsibilities and a 10 month old baby (ah! I see you have two children, and maybe another one coming soon too! Triple unfair to you to deal with all this and a surprise puppy!). 

We often get posters who are overwhelmed with the demands of a pup (a landshark pup at that), and are looking to rehome their pups. Quite often with help, encouragement, and reassurance, they make it through the difficult puppy phase and down the line are very grateful for having stuck to it, for the advice they were given, and for the understanding they received. 

But in your case, please don't feel like you have to keep him. I know you would love to keep him, and it doesn't take long to get attached to the little fluff-balls, but I feel it was unfair to you to spring this pup on you as a surprise. 

Pup will need training classes, daily walks and outside play sessions (can you do that with a 10 month old?), constant supervision, bite-inhibition work, extensive socialization outside the home in novel environments, potty training, extra house cleaning, and so on! That is often a small price to pay for people who want a puppy, and are prepared to meet his needs, but a lot to ask from someone who did not expect any of this in the first place. 

So my suggestion for now would be to decide if are wanting to keep him or if after some more thought you feel it would be best to find a new home for the pup. Nobody here (or anywhere, for that matter) would think less of you or judge you if you do decide to find him a new home. 

At the beginning of the thread, there were some suggestions on rescues you could contact to help you - I am sure a nice pup would find a new home very quickly, and a rescue will work hard to make sure that the pup does get adopted by a good home. 

If you do decide that you want to keep the pup, feel free to start new threads in the puppy section asking for more help and advice and support. All the advice can be a bit overwhelming, but there is a lot of good stuff in there to take away.


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## Jax08

Bow143 said:


> I got a babysitter for an hour today so im going to take him for a walk. Hopefully he does better then before. Last few times he hated it cause the snow.
> =)
> .


that hour today is just as important for you too. A little 'Me' time never hurt anyone. So, relax and have fun when you are out with him. When I"m stressed, the best cure is to grab Jax's frisbee and go play with her. Fresh air and nobody on my butt about anything.


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## SARAHSMITH

Husband drinking with friends at night, being mean to you? Would he ever be mean to the puppy? I know my puppy has gotten me pretty frustrated sometimes. How would your husband react to puppy misbehavior that will inevitable occur?


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## Bow143

sarah- He would never hurt anyone or an animal.
Anja- I am not trying to get pregnant anymore, since ive got the little guy.


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## Bow143

Thank you all for your advice. You have all been so kind and supportive. I can not thank you all enough!=)
To everyone who is concerned about my relationship, thank you but I am well aware of right and wrong, and I really was not trying to get advice on that topic. I think i've got all the information I need, so i wont be posting too much anymore.


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## PaddyD

Bow143 said:


> he's always at work, that was why i didnt think we were ready. Another reason I didnt think we were ready is because my daughter just started walking and we are trying to get pregnant again. The dog is adorable its just alot of work, and now im inlove with the pup. I just fell a little disrespected and taken advantage of. But it should all work out in the end.


Yikes. I am a husband of 43 years and it appears your husband has to get his MACHO knocked down a couple of notches. He is married to YOU, not his friends. And he is one/half of his child's parents, not 1/10th. He has 2 MAJOR commitments he made and he seems to have made them half-heartedly. He sounds like one spoiled dude. You have my sympathy.


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## Good_Karma

Bow, I hope you come back with more questions as they arise. People can't help but try to give advice, even if it is unsolicited (wish my mother would stop with the un-asked-for advice!!).


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## LaRen616

Good luck Bow! He's adorable!

But come back if you have any questions!


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## Jax08

Good_Karma said:


> Bow, I hope you come back with more questions as they arise. People can't help but try to give advice, even if it is unsolicited


Where's that Like button? 


There is lots to learn on here so please ask more questions when you need help.

I've found there are some things you never discuss unless you know the people you are talking to, or at least know they are open minded to have a discussion....child rearing, spousal relationships, religion, politics..


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## Anja1Blue

Bow143 said:


> Thank you all for your advice. You have all been so kind and supportive. I can not thank you all enough!=)
> To everyone who is concerned about my relationship, thank you but I am well aware of right and wrong, and I really was not trying to get advice on that topic. I think i've got all the information I need, so i wont be posting too much anymore.


We're like our dogs - we rush in and try to protect (you.) You are right of course it isn't any of our business, and I hope what has been posted here will not deter you from coming back if you need info or advice - Jax08 is right though, just leave hubby out of it  and we will have to focus on what this forum is really about, which is your GSD. Which is very cute and adorable BTW.....
________________________________________
Susan

Anja SchH3 GSD
Conor GSD
Blue BH WH T1 GSD - waiting at the Bridge :angel:


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## vat

You have one cute pup and have received lots of great advice. Please feel free to come by anytime you have a question or concern about Bow. We would love to see him grow up


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## JakodaCD OA

I agree, please come here anytime, with updates, questions or help you may need,,we love watching those puppies grow up


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## Bow143

I'm sorry if I sounded rude, i just felt like I was being looked down upon.


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## PaddyD

Bow143 said:


> I'm sorry if I sounded rude, i just felt like I was being looked down upon.


Not at all. Hurts to see someone possibly being taken advantage of. When someone puts that out there it is difficult to ignore.
Good luck with puppers and Happy New Year.


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## DharmasMom

Bow143 said:


> I'm sorry if I sounded rude, i just felt like I was being looked down upon.


You didn't sound rude. And no one is looking down on you. If anything, I think people here are just concerned and want to help. Even with things they are not being asked to help with. If you are happy in your relationship then that is what is important. If it is working for you then that is what matters. You will find plenty of support here and people who will be more than happy to help you with questions about the puppy. 

Now, the only pic I see is in your avatar. Did I miss some other pics??? 


Pics, please????


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## M&J

My husband doesn't help with the dogs, either. Wouldn't have a clue what to do or how to feed them. And yet, he adores them.

My advice to you is to get the puppy on a schedule. Crate at night, outside for the bathroom first thing in the morning. If the puppy doesn't "go" then he goes back in the crate for half an hour. Then try again. If he still doesn't go, back in the crate he goes. Repeat until he does poop outside. The only time he gets play time out of his crate is if he has gone to the bathroom outside. He'll catch on soon that when he potties outside, he gets playtime inside.
It's tough, you want to play and let them out of their crate, but it will make your life easier in the long run with housebreaking.

Get your puppy on some good food. And read all the info in the puppy section as time allows. We all started with our first dog, and you will be ahead of the game with all the expertise on the puppy forum.

Best of luck to you. Bow is adorable, as is the name.


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## RunShepherdRun

I am glad you sought support with Bow (love his imaginative name!) right away. As help in your decision making, here’s a list of the most common reasons why young families surrender their dogs to rescue or shelters. I don’t know whether one or more could ever apply to your situation, but here they are:

1) Finances and common hereditary conditions in GSDs: 
Purebred GSDs are prone to many hereditary diseases that are expensive to treat, and that often show up only as the dog grows up. Examples are hip dysplasia (surgery is ca 2k/hip, 4k/both hips, usually shows around 1 year), allergies (constant itchyness, constant vet bills), EPI (exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (shows between 2 and 3 years), IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) with chronic diarrhea, Pannus (dry eyes, need eye drops daily, limit exposure to sunlight), perianal fistulas (bleeding and infected anal glands that make it excruciatingly painful to defecate, a chronic condition), etc. 
Did the puppy come from a pet store? Probably, as no responsible breeder sells puppies as a surprise present. Meaning the ‘breeder’ (most likely a puppy mill) did not test his parents for any of these diseases, and will think nothing of breeding sick dogs. 
You can luck out and the dog doesn’t have any of these, but often they do. 

2) Finances and injured dogs: 
The dog gets hit by a car, broken pelvis, 2k and more just for surgery, weeks of rehabilitation and physical therapy. Typical scenario: Visiting kids left the gate open, own small kids open the door and let the dog out. Just had one of those right before Xmas, surrendered to the vet clinic. 

3) Time to train: 
If the responsibility for training the dog and caring for the children is exclusively the wife’s, she finds herself with a baby, a toddler crawling with lightning speed, both diapered, and a 70 lbs+ adolescent GSD who pulls on leash, jolting her when he sees a squirrel or another dog. No one can handle all three at the same time, especially not on a walk. The family has no one to baby sit while mom trains the pup for one or two hours a day, every day, so no training. No funds to hire a trainer. 

4) Bored adolescent pup chewed up the house (or only the husband’s sports trophy collection).

5) The GSD becomes protective of the children, has not been taught who is in charge b/c no one had the time to train, and now won’t let any visitors into the house, nor near the children when they are outside the house. One notch up: A visitor gets nipped or bitten, the home owners’ insurance company cancels unless the family parts with the dog, and the insurance rate is hiked up anyhow. (Does your home owners’ insurance insure a GSD? Many do not, unfortunately)

Having a protective breed such as a GSD brings with it a particular responsibility to train the dog. Many people want a protective dog but do not realize that an untrained dog is likely to be protective in situations where it is inappropriate. Maybe this puppy will not become a protective GSD, some do not, but protectiveness is a breed characteristic. More on GSDs: Before You Own (or in your case, ‘before you decide to keep or not). Retaining a lawyer to fight a bite case or a label as ‘dangerous’ is expensive.

One way of raising a puppy is to crate him for looooong periods of time and to ‘kong him out’. But is that fair to the puppy? He has only one puppyhood, very short. A puppy, like a child, needs to play, explore, and learn about the world, in addition to quiet time in the crate. That takes a lot of time for a human to supervise. If the puppy’s needs are pitted against the human childrens’, the puppy inevitably looses. And to whoever looses, it isn’t fair. And most GSDs are high energy dogs who need lots and lots and even more mental and physical exercise. 

Whatever you ultimately decide, I second what Castlemaid said: It is a perfectly understandable and acceptable option to decide that this is not the right time for you to raise a puppy AND do right for the children, the puppy, and also for yourself. 

Worst case would be to let puppy grow into an unsocialized, insecure, and reactive adolescent and then surrender him to a shelter, or call rescue to take him. I just evaluated yet another one of these on Saturday, all snarling bluster with teeth bared, lunging at everything and everyone. Not a hopeless case, but a project. If a rescue takes her, someone has to work for many weeks to hopefully make her adoptable ‘to an experienced home’.

Again, I am glad you were proactive and searched for help. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you and the pup.

PS In case DH bought the puppy at a pet store, I put in some links with information about where the pet store puppies come from. Even if some people might find a puppy under the tree ‘romantic’, the lives of the puppies’ parents are not. To put it mildly.

Puppies Aren't Products - Best Friends Network - Social Networking that saves lives
ASPCA | Puppy Mills
Puppy Mills : The Humane Society of the United States


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## Dogaroo

Bow143 said:


> I'm sorry if I sounded rude, i just felt like I was being looked down upon.


You? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!  As was stated previously, people on the forum can be a bit protective. We're all on your side, really! Trust me, nobody here says "you deserve better" to people they don't like or respect, so consider their concern a sort of compliment, though you didn't exactly ask for it. I think everyone here commends you for trying to do the right thing for the pup, even though you didn't choose this responsibility. 

As for myself, I'll try to refrain from commenting on husbands.... and whether they should be crate trained.... and wondering if it's legal to train them with shock collars.... Nope, didn't say it.  (Yes, I'm an old maid. I find dogs much easier to train than men. Besides, dogs are usually willing to eat my cooking.)


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## katieliz

runshepherd, your words are worth their weight in gold. bow143, you might want to share them with your husband (but not some of the other posts in the thread, lolol...).

ps...nope, you're not the one bein' rude, bow143. i'm kinda thinkin' you're pretty patient actually. wishing all good things for you and your puppy, no matter where he came from or under what circumstances. but beware, german shepherd dogs have been known to completely steal your heart, and some of them are around longer than...oh, never mind...


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## Bow143

I just wanted to let everyone know I a keeping Bow =)

However, I was a little discouraged last night because we were all playing with him and when my husband tells him to stop or no, he listens! Bow doesnt listen to me =(


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## Stosh

Good luck!! He's a cutie.


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## Bow143

thank you stosh! 

I took him to the vet today and she said just to keep telling him no when he does something wrong and he will eventually get it. I hope it works. I just want him to listen to me considering i'm the one who is always with him. The vet had a few other little concerns about him,but i think hes going to be okay =)


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## vat

Once you start training with him he will most certainly listen to you better. Both my dogs listen to hubby's no more than me only because he has that deeper voice.


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## PaddyD

Stosh said:


> Good luck!! He's a cutie.


And so is doggie's mommy. Hang in there. Dogs recognize alpha figures readily. He will still love you but possibly respond more quickly to hubby. My previous dogs were one-man dogs and I am very happy to see that current GSD loves both of us and responds to both (even though she follows ME everywhere).
:hug:


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## Bow143

my husband is going away this weekend for a bachelor party, I need to leave bow for a few hours during the day in his crate. i feel bad. how long is too long to leave him home alone for??


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## vat

How old is he now?


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## JakodaCD OA

have you been leaving him alone at all? I'd start doing it a couple times a day, take the baby for a walk He may scream his head off, (gsd's don't particularly like being left!) 

I'd say 3 hours or so, he's around 9 weeks right? I always leave a radio on, and give him something Safe and good to gnaw on,,got any kongs?? Fill one up with peanut butter..should keep him busy for awhile

Glad your keeping him! 

OH wanted to add, he probably listens to your husband, may be his 'tone' of voice.
For puppies, when I want them to stop something,,I will either say "AHHAHH",,and do it like you MEAN IT, kinda deep voice,,and I teach a good "leave it"..

as soon as they "stop" whatever,,reward, praise, treat...If it's biting, as in you,,redirect with a toy, or a tuggie or something that's appropriate to chew on..


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## Bow143

my husband has a really loud mean voice so hes prob afraid of him. lol
he is 9 weeks old.


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## Bow143

and yes i got him that toy you put peanut butter in! I will try leaving him for an hour tomorrow so he gets used to it =)


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## Zoeys mom

If you freeze the peanut butter in it it lasts even longer and is harder to get out. 3-4 hours alone once a day is good for him you don't want him to have separation issues

Also, when you are telling him no assert yourself. Don't scream, but say no firmly and lean your body close to him- he'll listen quick with your tone and body language


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## Bow143

thanks for the advice. my husband leaves for vegas tomorrow so i will leave Bow alone when I take him to the airport, I might even take an extra long time. 
=)


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## KZoppa

good luck! you definitely want to get him used to spending time by himself. Trust me on this. A full grown GSD with seperation anxiety.... nightmare. It can be hella expensive to find a crate to hold them so they cant escape and destroy everything in the house trying to find you or get out to find you. Again the offer still stands if you ever need or want to talk.


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## Bow143

Thanks Kzoppa!

Im not sure if I like the vet I took him too..dont get me wrong she was very sweet and the techs were awesome but some of the concerns she had i am looking up on the internet and reading the OPPOSITE of what she said. hmmmm ??


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## Zoeys mom

What were her concerns?


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## PaddyD

Bow143 said:


> my husband has a really loud mean voice so hes prob afraid of him. lol
> he is 9 weeks old.


yikes


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## Bow143

She said most likely his ears are never going to go up because they should be up already.


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## PaddyD

Nonsense. Plenty of time for ears to come up. Don't worry until he is at least 5 months.
I would bet that half the people here would say their dog's ears didn't come up until 3-4 months.


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## LaRen616

Bow143 said:


> She said most likely his ears are never going to go up because they should be up already.


If he is only 9 weeks old then he has plenty of time for his ears to go up. 

It can take until they are 7-8 months old for their ears to go up and stay up.

Even if they dont ever go up, he will still be adorable.


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## Pattycakes

I agree...he has plenty of time before his ears go up. When my pup was 8 weeks old, she had her ears up...then they flopped down, one would come up and then flop back down. But I think by the time she was 3-4 months old...they were both up and stayed that way.


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## Bow143

Also he has a parasite =( hes on meds. poor thing


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## PaddyD

Bow143 said:


> Also he has a parasite =( hes on meds. poor thing


So sorry. A lot of times puppies come to us with 'baggage'. Hope he is back to normal soon.


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## Pattycakes

Here are some piccies of the ears up and down

Eight weeks old with both ears up.










With one ear up at 9 weeks old.










Back down with both ears around 11 weeks old.










Can't find any pictures when both ears stood up around 12-13 weeks old and they stayed up after that. 

She was 5 months old here and her ears still are both up.










6 months old here. 










At least you have him on some meds now so hopefully he'll get rid of the parasites.


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## Bow143

cute pics!!!!!!!!!!!! =)


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## Bow143

Bows ears are floppy but instead on folding to the sides they fold in . is that bad?


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## PaddyD

Bow143 said:


> Bows ears are floppy but instead on folding to the sides they fold in . is that bad?


Click on Photo Gallery in the top bar. You will see lots of puppy photos to compare.


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## Pattycakes

No..that shouldn't be a problem. Make sure he has bully sticks or something to chew on so it helps strenghtens his muscles.


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## Bow143

i know i said i didn't want advice on relationships. but i need to vent- i don't think it is fair to go away on a vacation after bringing home a brand new puppy.


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## LaRen616

Bow143 said:


> i know i said i didn't want advice on relationships. but i need to vent- i don't think it is fair to go away on a vacation after bringing home a brand new puppy.


I dont think it's fair to go on vacation and not take your spouse.


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## Bow143

I gave him that toy you put peanut butter in. He loveddd it =) im going to give it to him again later.


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## Bow143

LaRen- i agree but its a "guys trip" to vegas. I would rather not be there. haha


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## LaRen616

Bow143 said:


> LaRen- i agree but its a "guys trip" to vegas. I would rather not be there. haha


Well alright......... as long as you get to plan a "girls trip" too.


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## Bow143

yea right that would NEVER happen


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## LaRen616

Bow143 said:


> yea right that would NEVER happen


Why?


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## Bow143

I just saw a pic of a 8 week & his ears were already up!!! 
Laren- eh its okay, ill get over it. I just wanted to vent a little. I guess I was just concerned cause of the girls there and stuff but its okay, Im just being a little jealous lol. I have more important things to worry about!


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## Pattycakes

I agree...your husband should watch your baby and you go to a girls night out, or a girls lunch, or even better...a weekend getaway with your friends.


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## Bow143

its okay, no big deal.


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## LaRen616

Bow143 said:


> I just saw a pic of a 8 week & his ears were already up!!!
> Laren- eh its okay, ill get over it. I just wanted to vent a little. I guess I was just concerned cause of the girls there and stuff but its okay, Im just being a little jealous lol. I have more important things to worry about!


You are making me sad, there is more to this story, I know you dont want it aired puplicly, but I honestly feel that you deserve better. You only get one life to live, just one, you have to be happy, you have to do what you want to do. If things are going on that shouldn't be then please dont turn your head, take control of your life and get out of there. Make yourself happy first. :hugs:


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## Bow143

Honestly...its really okay. I was just being jealous cause its vegas. I let my jealousy get the best of me sometimes.lol


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## Pattycakes

LaRen616 said:


> You are making me sad, there is more to this story, I know you dont want it aired puplicly, but I honestly feel that you deserve better. You only get one life to live, just one, you have to be happy, you have to do what you want to do. If things are going on that shouldn't be then please dont turn your head, take control of your life and get out of there. Make yourself happy first. :hugs:


Ditto!


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## Good_Karma

Don't stress your dog's ears at all. Even if they were up right now, they will likely go back down again when he starts teething. Niko took a long time, his were never really up until after he was six months old.

And I think you should put your husband's stuff out on the lawn while he's gone.


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## Bow143

Good- your dog is adorable! i love the pic!


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## PaddyD

good_karma said:


> don't stress your dog's ears at all. Even if they were up right now, they will likely go back down again when he starts teething. Niko took a long time, his were never really up until after he was six months old.
> 
> And i think you should put your husband's stuff out on the lawn while he's gone.


amen !!


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## Bow143

that is silly. Im not going to leave him cause im jealous.


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## PaddyD

LaRen616 said:


> You are making me sad, there is more to this story, I know you dont want it aired puplicly, but I honestly feel that you deserve better. You only get one life to live, just one, you have to be happy, you have to do what you want to do. If things are going on that shouldn't be then please dont turn your head, take control of your life and get out of there. Make yourself happy first. :hugs:


Amen again. First remove that KICK ME sign from your back.


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## Helios

@Bow143 So, Do you have any pictures?? :wub:


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## Bow143

Pics of Bow? Ill get some more soon.


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## Helios

Of course! Pics of bow :wub:


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## Bow143

ill get some more soon.


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## Bow143

I need to upload some pics of his ears to show u guys


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN

There is a whole section on ears down the board a bit to check out - you can see all the stages of ears.


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## Pattycakes

We love puppy pictures!


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## RebelGSD

Bow, you are a good person and you obviously love the puppy very much. You have a lot on your platter, too much, with the baby, not feeling well and the puppy. You deserve to be treated well, and nobody should be mean to you. You deserve support and help with both puppy and baby. If it becomes too much, don't be afraid to ask for help. We can not solve all problems, but people will be able to help with the puppy. Do you have a church or other support group you belong to that you can turn to?


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## CaliBoy

My sister was venting about her husband one time to another relative, who decided to tell my sister what she saw as other defects the guy had. My sis did this thing with her hand and fingers:
:nono:
And then my sis says: "I'm venting about my husband because at times he drives me crazy. But remember, he is my husband. Me venting *does not give you permission to talk bad about him in my presence."*

katieliz suggested that we continue to help Bow123 with puppy advice, and nix the relationship advice--that was wise, I think, of katieliz. The puppy advice, here, I think is very helpful.


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## M&J

I have to give your husband a little credit. If I had a wife and baby home alone quite a bit, good move to have a german shepherd home with them. Even though my dogs wouldn't do squat to anyone, their barks are a good deterrent, and makes me aware if someone is near the property.


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## Kayos and Havoc

High Bow!!! Love your pup's name!! 

I raised a few pups as a single mom although my child was 5 not 10 months! I take it you stay at home? I think you can manage Bow because you want to manage Bow! 

There are lots of great puppy rearing books that you can purchase online. My favorite site is www.dogwise.com You can read adn learn lots of great stuff. All of us started off with our first pup and everyone survived.

Good luck to you.


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## RubyTuesday

> I just saw a pic of a 8 week & his ears were already up!!!


Djibouti's litter all had their ears up b/w 7 & 8 wks...except for Djibouti! His were up & down & all around 'til ~4, 4.5 months at which point they were finally up for good. I don't know why he was the exception. He was a bit bigger, pudgier & pushier than his littermates but he looked & acted very much like 'em except for his ears going up so much slower.


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