# My dog is acting cold towards me :(



## Mos94 (Dec 20, 2012)

I have 5 month old GSD that i love the most out of my 3 dogs. She is now acting 
cold and weird towards me which breaks my heart, after one of my friends beat the dog two times on the face and cornered her. it happened so fast and as i got to my friend he had stopped but the dog was shaking. I had a desire to break every bone in his body but i held my self. now my dog is acting in a weird way and she hardly listens to my orders and she is trying assert her self as alpha i think. Ironically before this incident she was so obedient and when the other dogs misbehaved or didn't listen to my orders she would give them a bite on the neck as punishment or what ever you would call it. It breaks my heart and it makes me frustrated and don't know what to do.Please your advice would be much appreciated.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

First thing ... don't ever allow that friend of yours around any of your dogs ever again.

Second... forget the whole alpha way of thinking. Your dog is not doing this to assert herself as an alpha. Don't thinking of training as "order" and definitely don't "bite her neck as punishment". She's just a lost and scared 5 month old puppy right now and that's why she's acting the way you're describing.

Now that you've got a scared 5 month old puppy who probably doesn't trust anyone at this point after being smacked around... what you need to do is build that dogs confidence in you as an owner and people in general. 

What kind of bonding type stuff do you two do? Do you train and socialize her? What kind of exercise is she getting? How much of all this is she getting and how often?

Right now it sounds like you've got a broken puppy and you really need to work hard to get her confidence back up. It's going to take some time and hard work, but can be done.


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

Bitches do come into heat (that I had) 9 to 24 months. I had a dog pissed at me once and it was not pretty. You have a bad situation if someone swung at you or your dog! What is wrong?


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## Mos94 (Dec 20, 2012)

@Lucy Dog i didn't bite any body's neck i am saying the dog did this as when older dogs do to younger unbehaved dogs and to answer your question i walk 3 to 4 days a week twice a day, and we had the most wonderful relationship. i trusted her so much but now i am not sure.


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

I am so sorry, I gota go. Never ever let anyone hurt you or your dog ok!!!


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

Mos94 said:


> @Lucy Dog i didn't bite any body's neck i am saying the dog did this as when older dogs do to younger unbehaved dogs


Yeah, I didn't think you actually bit a dogs neck. I thought you just meant you did some type of cesar millan type move to the dogs neck or something. I wasn't sure what you meant.

Regardless, what about the other stuff i wrote and asked?


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## Mos94 (Dec 20, 2012)

I walk her 3 or 4 days a week twice each day and every Friday the set the 3 dogs loose in an open field where they can play and every day i play an hour or more with the three of them. as far as socializing she didn't need any she is great around dogs and other people, and when it comes to training i haven't done any as i don't have exprience in that field but i was going to get her to obedience classes soon.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

It sounds like her confidence is shot right now. Just keep doing what you're doing, but take it slowly and don't expect results overnight. And up the socialization a little bit if you can with people. Even dogs with nerves of steel need socialization at that age. Only good an positive experiences. 

And definitely sign up for the obedience classes. It will helps build a bond. Not just for the training aspect of it, but you guys work together as a team. It will really help out both of you guys.


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## Jag (Jul 27, 2012)

Something's missing here. What happened BEFORE your 'friend' beat your puppy up? Did the puppy do something that this person felt warranted beating up on a puppy? Or was this person intoxicated or mentally ill or just has something against puppies?? Why would you say that you USED to trust the puppy, but now you're not so sure??

All GSD puppies should be socialized. It's very important. After this has happened, it's even MORE important. If this puppy doesn't get out there and see that people aren't all going to hurt her (and quickly) there's a chance that she could become fearful and or aggressive towards strangers. Some dogs have bad things happen once or more and are OK. Some aren't. From the reaction you're describing, I think this may be a pup that won't just 'get over it'. 

Looking at it from the puppy's perspective... YOU failed to protect the puppy from a human that you allowed into her home. Therefore, you can't be trusted to keep her safe. Now she's going to be nervous and be thinking about protecting herself... which she obviously couldn't do or this friend of yours would have required medical attention. Did you yell at this person or what DID you do after this person beat up on your puppy?

Classes may also be important. One, you have a GSD that you haven't trained. Two, she's now had a 'bad incident' that has effected her. It's going to be all up to you to put her world right side up again. Get her out there around friendly people who can give her yummy treats and be nice to her. Get her trained. That will help with bonding and becoming the 'leader' again. Spend time playing with her and rebuilding that bond. Get rid of any and all of your friends who would even THINK about harming a puppy, and when you have friends over, you keep the puppy right next to you so you can make sure she's protected.


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

As others have said your puppy is now terrified and taumatized. The ignoring behaviour is her attempt to prevent any further trauma. She is doing the opposite of what you think: in dogs, keeping her distance, not looking at you, looking away and walking away (and I bet she is yawning a log when she does these behaviours), is a way to try and AVOID conflict. 
She is trying to remain neutral and calming in her body language, afraid that she will do something that will cause another beating. 

She is VERY confused right now. She will need a lot of patience from your part. Your whole "I'm Alpha" attitude is probably making her more nervous and afraid, because the more she is trying to diffuse potentially threatening situations (you talking to her in a harsh voice, trying to get her to look at you, etc . . . ), the more she will try to show submission by . . . ignoring you and avoiding coming or looking up at you, etc . . . 

Best thing to do right now, is to stay calm, talk in a calm voice, and don't even look at her. Be around her and ignore her. Make all you interactions fun and rewarding. Use treats to get her to come. Have lots of fun one-on-one time with her. Quiet walks, going for car rides, etc . . . 

And choose better friends . . .


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

Some submissive/calming signs she might be showing are: looking away, sniffing the ground, turning her back and laying down, blinking, yawning, submissive peeing, among others. People often mis-understand some of these behaviours as their puppy being rude and ignoring them, not respecting them. Yes, if PERSON yawned in my face, looked away while I was talking to them, turned around and walked away, etc . . . Yup! I would consider them pretty rude and un-respectful, and it would make me pretty mad! But in dogs, it is the opposite, she is so trying to SHOW you that she means no harm AND accepts and respects you as the leader, even though she is really scared at the moment. So be aware of what she is telling you in these behaviours, and show her with calmness and happiness that she has nothing to worry about. 

It will take a while to build her trust back up - again, be very patient with her.


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## Mos94 (Dec 20, 2012)

My dog didn't do anything to provoke my friend at all. they were playing fetch and the dog just barked during play and the next thing he hit her. After he did what he did i took the dog away, and then i came back and yelled at him. when i said i don't know whether to trust the dog or not is because she was keeping distance from me, totally ignoring me, i tried to feed her with my hand to get her attention she pushed my hand and walked away ignoring me. She isn't herself at all. This dog was always by my side she wouldn't leave me, and when she is playing with other dogs and i get out her line of sight she would come to check up on me and see where i am and then continue playing. I just love this dog and i hope she gets back to her old self.


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## gsdraven (Jul 8, 2009)

Lucia (Castlemaid) has excellent posts. You have severely damaged the trust in the relationship with your dog and it is going to take time to rebuild it. You need to be neutral and stop forcing her to interact with you. Give her space. Be calm. You need to be the source of all that is good without overwhelming her. And never, ever let another person touch her again. That "friend" should definitely be an ex-friend.


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## Jag (Jul 27, 2012)

Mos94 said:


> My dog didn't do anything to provoke my friend at all. they were playing fetch and the dog just barked during play and the next thing he hit her. After he did what he did i took the dog away, and then i came back and yelled at him. when i said i don't know whether to trust the dog or not is because she was keeping distance from me, totally ignoring me, i tried to feed her with my hand to get her attention she pushed my hand and walked away ignoring me. She isn't herself at all. This dog was always by my side she wouldn't leave me, and when she is playing with other dogs and i get out her line of sight she would come to check up on me and see where i am and then continue playing. I just love this dog and i hope she gets back to her old self.


IDK, but if she heard or saw you chewing out your 'friend' then maybe at least there's that. It's going to take work and patience on your end to help her get through this. I hope you don't let this guy anywhere near you or your puppy again.  Sorry, but after checking on the pup and taking care of this 'friend' my next step would have been to call the police. From the sound of things, you're further back than 'square one' with her, but that does NOT mean she can't recover. It just means you have a lot of work to do to earn her trust back. I still don't understand the not trusting her. If you're thinking she'd turn aggressive to you, I'd think that if she was going to do that she'd have done it against the jerk who was beating on her.


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## bigd3077 (Aug 19, 2012)

your friend is an idiot and the dog is scared and probably doesn't understand why you didn't protect her. If someone hit my dog it is the same as if they hit my kid and it would not turn out good for them....


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## Twyla (Sep 18, 2011)

I am wondering if a vet check isn't in order as well. Pups are tough, but we are talking about what I assume is a grown man hitting the pup.

Look at this page - Calming Signals Community - it may help you understand more what your pup is telling you.

Not beating you up, but at this point whether you trust your pup or not isn't the focus. The focus is earning your pup's trust again. 

Everything is positive. She even looks at you, she gets a treat. Continue the hand feeding, her regular kibble and add some good yummy stuff - bits of meat, pieces of apple. Get her taste buds over ruling her avoidance. Set her up for good experiences with people and be sure you KNOW they will be good experiences. You may notice a bit of hand shyness, don't reach over head to scratch, go for the chin, chest, side of face. Spend time everyday walking, play/training with her. You will have to ramp it up even more to get her focus on you. Play tug, let her win.

The whole point will be for her once again to learn to trust you AND that other people aren't something to be scared of. It will be a lot of work for you, may not be a quick fix but it sounds like she had a good foundation to start with.

It goes without saying this friend is no longer allowed around your dogs.


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## shepherdmom (Dec 24, 2011)

I don't have anything helpful to add, I just wanted to say I was so sad to read this thread this morning. Poor puppy. Do not let that person near your dogs ever again. I think at 5 months with lots of loves and cuddles your dog should get over it eventually. My Ivan was scared of people when we got him 4-5 months old. It took lots of loves and cuddles and taking him to places where I knew people would always be nice to him to get him to trust people again. But now he is the biggest cuddle bug. Good luck!


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

gsdraven said:


> Lucia (Castlemaid) has excellent posts. You have severely damaged the trust in the relationship with your dog and it is going to take time to rebuild it. You need to be neutral and stop forcing her to interact with you. Give her space. Be calm. You need to be the source of all that is good without overwhelming her. And never, ever let another person touch her again. That "friend" should definitely be an ex-friend.


:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

> Look at this page - http://www.canis.no/rugaas/onearticle.php?artid=1 - it may help you understand more what your pup is telling you.


Great article! Thanks for linking it.


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## BMWHillbilly (Oct 18, 2012)

First off, that "friend" would have gotten an ass whoopin' from me. I don't care what the pup did, it did not deserve a "beating". Firm correction maybe, but not a beating. Secondly, you will have to be patient and rebuild the trust with your pup. Thirdly, i wouldn't trust a friend who beats/abuses any animal, let alone mine. Be careful, You may be next. At any rate, good luck with your pup!


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## MichaelE (Dec 15, 2012)

bigd3077 said:


> your friend is an idiot and the dog is scared and probably doesn't understand why you didn't protect her. If someone hit my dog it is the same as if they hit my kid and it would not turn out good for them....


Ditto. The heck with the dog, BEWARE OF OWNER! THat would have gotten them an asskicking they'd have never forgotten.


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

I would spend some one on one time with her. Do you groom her? That can be a bonding experience. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## irickchad (Feb 6, 2013)

It's incredibly sad that people do such things to animals that are just out having fun. This is cruel, for sure, but where I'm from originally this incident would be fun compared to the way some people treat hunting dogs while they "Train" them :|.. very sorry it happened, but certainly be happy it wasn't worse!


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## Mos94 (Dec 20, 2012)

Thanks for the advice guys all of you. i went in the house for a couple of hours and then came back and she looked some what happy to see me, and we played a little.


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## Meeah'sMom (Sep 21, 2012)

If one of my friends beat on my puppy, I would no longer associate with that person. What kind of a person does that?? Your poor puppy is scared and confused as to why that happened with you there to protect him/her. Now you have to earn his/her trust again. Very sad.


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