# It never gets easier...Belle will have to go to The Bridge with Zeus soon...



## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

It's been about 6 months since I had to put Zeus down. Ironically, I adopted Belle 6 months before I adopted Zeus 12 years ago. Belle has been losing weight and recently hasn't wanted to eat at all. I thought she had an upper respiratory infection. Well yesterday I took her to the vet and she told me that Belle has a cancerous tumor in her throat. It's been there for a while. The middle is starting to rott and bleed out a bit. She gave Belle a steriod shot and some liquid antibotics for me to give her twice a day since she can't really swallow anything. For a while she's been having such a hard time eating - coughing her food up, etc... That's because the tumor has closed her trachea a lot and he can't get anything solid down. 

The vet didn't think it would be too much longer that she'll be around. She actually said if I wanted to put her down yesterday it wouldn't have been too soon. :-( I will not make any of my dogs suffer but I have to give them a chance - even if it's only for a little while. 

When we were at the vet, Belle was panting (from the excitement of being in the car and vets office) and you could hear she was having trouble breathing. It kinda sounded like something was stuck in her throat. The dr asked if she's hyper at home and if she's panting a lot. She's not - she is the calmest dog I have ever known. Even as a puppy...she would just sit there and look at the other puppies like they were crazy! She's my lazy couch potato dog. 

So I brought her home yesterday and I went out and brought her chop meat and cooked some up. I pureed her Solid Gold dog food and put some chop meat on top of that and she ate yesterday and TWICE today. She's resting comfortably now. No panting and just laying down being lazy like she always does. 

I did try and give her a tinnie tiny piece of bacon this morning and she coughed it up - with blood on it. She can only eat soft food. She did eat some of the eggs but can not eat anything solid. I tried to give her a Burger King chicken nuggest the other day and she wouldn't eat it. Not even a slice of turkey breast or bologna. It has to be pureed and soft like baby food. 

I know my time is very short lived with her. I hope she is able to be with us through the Christmas season but I'll never make her suffer - if it's her time...I will make sure she doesn't suffer.

This is the hardest part about being owned by a dog. Letting go...it's so hard! I haven't even been able to take Zeus' name off my signature and put his name with my other Bridge babies and now my Belle will be going very shortly. I know when I wake up everyday I'll be wondering if today is her last day. It's so very sad to listen to the Christmas music, do the Christmas shopping and decorate (Christmas - my favorite time of the year) all when I know what will have to be done very soon. I'm finding it very difficult to do Christmas shopping and looking for a place that cremates animals all at the same time. :-( I have always been nervous that I would never get my actual dogs ashes back, even if I do pay for individual cremation. I thought about being present when they do it. I don't think I can handle that though. It makes me so sad to have all this going through my head while she's laying in her bed and I'm kissing and hugging her. :-(

The vet was suggesting that I should put her down within the week but...if she's eating and drinking and relaxing comfortably ... how can I put her down? She doesn't seem like she's having a hard time breathing. At least not at home. When we were in the vets office yesterday she sounded horrible because she was nervous and panting, etc... But at home she's nice and relaxed. 

Sorry - I'm rambling...


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## Zan (Nov 12, 2010)

I am so sorry to hear about your Belle. It is never easy as you know, but take comfort in knowing that your furkids have had a wonderful life with you. When it was time for our 2nd GSD Aili to go (and she definitely let us know) we had a great last night, fed her treats from the table, loved and snuggled with her all night long. I would say as long as she's comfortable, let her be. I bet she will let you know. Hugs to you.


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## Zoeys mom (Jan 23, 2010)

Thats tough so sorry you are going through this so soon after Zeus's passing. Letting go is always the toughest part. I remember when my Zeus passed I just wished he could be there to chew up one more shoe, eat my couch, pee on the floor, or steal a sock and run off. All the love, companionship, and even destruction is hard to let go of. I hope Belle gets through the holidays with you guys there, but whats most important is that she goes knowing how much she was loved which she will


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## Lesley1905 (Aug 25, 2010)

Thinking about and praying for you and Belle!


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## cassadee7 (Nov 26, 2009)

I am so sorry you're going through this. Prayers for some comfortable extra time with your girl.


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## elisabeth_00117 (May 17, 2009)

What a hard decision for you to make... it's never easy, I know.

I wish you strength and comfort during this time.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Linda I am so sorry you are having to go through this so soon after Zeus. I am keeping you and Belle in my thoughts and prayers :hugs:


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## Kelly's Buddy (Nov 15, 2010)

I'm very sorry. You're right, it's never easy. Sending puppy-prayers your way.


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## Rusty_212 (Apr 21, 2010)

So sorry your going to have to do this again, so soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Belle.


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## Locknload (Nov 8, 2010)

:hugs::hugs:I'm so sorry.


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## Deuce (Oct 14, 2010)

I'm so very sorry. Remember that we're all here for you and share in your pain and loss. Keep your head up.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

Linda, I am so very sorry your going and Belle are going thru this( Cherish each day, we'll be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers


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## GSDAlphaMom (Jul 20, 2010)

So sorry you are going through this at this time of year (though no time is ever good for this). You will know when it's time. Enjoy her last bit of time with you. Zeus will be waiting to greet her at the bridge when it's time.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I'm sure Belle appreciates the loving care you're giving her in her final days.


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## Stogey (Jun 29, 2010)

A lot of us know your heartache first hand ... it's a heart wrenching decision ! My last GSD had a tumor on his chest, the vet was able to remove it and thought that he had gotten it all. They wanted to do kemo, but with Max being 12yrs old I had a decision to make. I decided to let nature take it's course. A month or so later I woke up to find his body laying cold on the living room floor. Did I make the right decision ? Did I cause him more suffering by not having him put down ? I still question myself to this day ....


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## Wolfiesmom (Apr 10, 2010)

I am so sorry to hear about your Belle being so sick. You are in my prayers.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

I am so sorry you are going through this. We have all been there too. Enjoy every moment you have with her. She will let you know when it is time. As long as she is comfortable and not hurting I don't see why she can't be home with you. We have in the past with cancer dogs let them spent their last days with us. We always knew when it was time. We let them have canned food, treats anything they wanted in that time. It was very hard but when the actual time came we were prepared for it so it was a little easier to deal with. You have given her a good life and lots of love so take comfort in that.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

well it's the hardest of the hard decisions to make. i wish you strength and peace of mind in making it. take care.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

I'm so sorry Linda, I know how hard Zeus's loss was for you, I can't even imagine losing both my dogs within a few months of each other. :hugs:

I think as long as she seems comfortable and is interested in food, that's a good sign that it's not her time yet. She'll let you know when she's ready to go.


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

Linda: I totally agree with you. While Belle is able to handle the puree food and she rests comfortably, just enjoy your time with her. Take lots of pictures. It is just mind blowing to imagine that you are going through this after saying goodbye just 6 months ago to your other beloved dog, so you are in my thoughts and prayers also.


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## clearcreekranch (Mar 18, 2010)

Sending you prayers from Texas.


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you all very much! It means so much to have you all here for me. I would be lost without you all. To have people understand exactly what I'm going through means so much to me. I have friends around me but...although they are nice people - they don't REALLY understand - not like you guys. 

I don't know what's better. With Zeus - one afternoon we brought him to the vet for something we thought was along the lines of a stomach virus and within 12 hours - we had to put him down. With Belle, ... we have our time to say goodbye. Either way - it's completely heartbreaking. I don't think either way is "better". 

I came home from work today and she didn't get up to greet me. I was afraid of what I would find when I walked into my bedroom and looked on her bed. She was OK though. She was just laying there....giving me "the look". She just looked so tired and sad. I broke down. I haven't told the kids yets. I have 4 kids - three boys, 9, 7 and 6 and one girl 4. I wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving before I told them about Belle.

My 9 year old son is completely paranoid since we had to put Zeus down from his cancer 6 months ago. If either of the dogs have *anything* wrong with them he instantly asks "does he/she have cancer". So it's going to be hard to tell him that Belle has cancer too. I wanted to wait until at least after Thanksgiving to talk to the kids about it. They are going to be very sad and I'm so emotional - I will never be able to hold it together. 

Belle did eat for me tonight. I pureed her food and cooked her some chop meat. She ate just about all of it. (When she eats she gets it all over her nose.) So I cleaned her nose and put some Vaseline on it. Her nose has been cracking also. I'm going to be so nervous that I won't know when it's time and I'm going to make her suffer. I don't want her to go but I don't want her to suffer either. She looks so tired. She's eating and resting. She doesn't seem to be having a hard time breathing. I can tell when she swallows she is having a bit of a hard time though. I will keep her as comfortable as possible for as long as possible. ... I am going to miss her so much!! :-(


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

i'm so sorry you're going through this. its never easy to lose them be it a cat or a dog. I still miss my cat princess very much and its been 9 years. I still get teary whenever someone mentions her. Deciding to let her go was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do in my life so far. You and your family are in my prayers. Best wishes you're able to spend a happy thanksgiving with your Belle.


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## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

Letting go is the hardest. Prayers and healing thoughts to you and your baby at this terribly difficult time.


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

My thoughts are with you Linda. 



> I don't know what's better. With Zeus - one afternoon we brought him to the vet for something we thought was along the lines of a stomach virus and within 12 hours - we had to put him down. With Belle, ... we have our time to say goodbye. Either way - it's completely heartbreaking. I don't think either way is "better".


No matter how they go, they have to leave us and it breaks our hearts. At least you can find comfort in the fact that you gave them great lives, and they will leave you with wonderful memories. Take care.


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Belle's laying at the foot of my bed, curled up in her bed all nice and fuzzy and warm. And just knowing what has to be done very shortly is just heart breaking.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

for me that's always been the hardest time emotionally, the time between when you know for sure what you'll have to do soon, and when that time actually comes. wishing you strength.


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## VegasResident (Oct 4, 2006)

I am so sorry for what youare going through. We all address it differently. It is a personal decision no one can tell you right or wrong when.

I always say, when you are keeping them for you and no longer for them, the time has come.

I PTS my 10 year old GSD soul mate girl last year November 16, 2009 due to anal sac adenocarcinoma. The hard part was it all took place in 3 days time. Going in for an anal sac expression so we thought and leaving with her collar and favorite toy three days later without her. those three days were ****. 

Christmas was not Christmas last year, nor was Thanksgiving. It all collapsed around me. The house was silent which it had not been for many years. She was my baby girl. She was our only dog having lost our other in 2004. 

So we packed up and left for both holidays, just the two of us. 

We went and I stood on the street of Disneyland listening to the Christmas music and watching it "snow". Oddly enough, it helped the pain ebb somewhat. I cried through the holidays (many times in my car) and only put up the stockings, including hers.

This year will be our first Christmas without her. We will hang her stocking and I still miss her and tear up now and then (like now) but her memories are of her life now and not so much now of the weekend we lost her. 

We have a 5 month old GSD boy now and his stocking arrived yesterday. We will raise the tree, put up her ornaments. We will take the boy to see the lights we took her too every year because he loves people and lights so.

I do miss her so. This Christmas we will be able to celebrate the life she gave to us and the new joy of her "brother"

**hugs** and prayers because I think I know where you are....


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## VegasResident (Oct 4, 2006)

katieliz said:


> for me that's always been the hardest time emotionally, the time between when you know for sure what you'll have to do soon, and when that time actually comes. wishing you strength.


so true...I cried on my knees in my closet so my sweet girl GSD would not see me.


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## VegasResident (Oct 4, 2006)

Stogey said:


> A lot of us know your heartache first hand ... it's a heart wrenching decision ! My last GSD had a tumor on his chest, the vet was able to remove it and thought that he had gotten it all. They wanted to do kemo, but with Max being 12yrs old I had a decision to make. I decided to let nature take it's course. A month or so later I woke up to find his body laying cold on the living room floor. Did I make the right decision ? Did I cause him more suffering by not having him put down ? I still question myself to this day ....


Don't do that because I have also. 

We also decided against kemo and radiation would have meant leaving her in another state for 2 months without us and success rates were low for the type of cancer she had. 

Ours was already in pain and could not have proper bowel movements due to the tumor against her colon. Her skin on her anal area started ripping open from the swelling.

It was inoperable. 

At the most they said they could have cut her open debulked it and it would have grown back or stuck her on tons on painkillers to make her last longer..but for whom?

We made a decision based on the suffering she would have to gain a few weeks for us. I still question myself to this day for the opposite of you.

It is a no win situation. As long as the decision you made was from your heart, you did the best you could do.


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

:hugs: I lost one last Feb and then the other last May. It is never easy and when you loose 2 so close it is so hard. She will let you know when its time believe me. I am sending thoughts and prayers to you, enjoy your girl.


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you everyone. I am crying as I read your stories about your past furbabies. As we know, this is the most difficult part of being a pet owner. Sometimes I feel so alone but...I know I'm not. I know most of you know exactly what I am going through and - what I will have to go through in the next couple of weeks.

I spoke to my regular vet today. He looked at the xrays and told me it was not good. He gave me more of a prescription for the Amocicillin - liquid. He also gave me a prescription for Prednisdone. He said that's better then the steriod shot she got. I'm bringing it to a specialty pharmacy so they can make it into liquid for her since she can't swallow pills. 

I can hear that her breathing isn't the same it used to be. I spoke to the vet today about how I don't want to wait until she can't breath and she's fighting for every single breath she can get. He told me to watch for the signs. ....She just jumped up on my bed to lay next to me while I type this. She seems to be relaxed and she ate again last night but I'm not happy about the way her breathing sounds. I do not think she's struggling to breath yet. I will let her go before that. ... I just want to make her better. It's soooooooo hard to watch her get worse with each day that passes. I don't know if this new medicine will work but....I will try it.

This sucks.... :-(


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## jakeandrenee (Apr 30, 2010)

So sorry.....but she will give you the sign.....


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Just stopping by to send lots more :hugs: to you both.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

thinking of you and your girl, hopinig for a good day for both of you today (and a good holiday weekend). take care.


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## GsdLoverr729 (Jun 20, 2010)

I'm so sorry


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

More :hugs: to you both.


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