# My Big Beautiful Boy



## k94doglady (Feb 23, 2011)

It's been almost 2 months since I had to put him down. My 6 year old Black GSD, Willy. He was my everything. I have some psychiatric issues and he was as close to a Service Dog as he could get (he couldn't be one due to health issues). He was my heart dog. I have never lost anyone that was as close to me as he was. It still hurts every day. I still long to wrap my arms around him every day. I got a new puppy (rat terrier) 6 weeks ago that is my service dog candidate. I love her, but it's not the same. I heard someone refer to it "as trying to wear someone else's shoe". That about sums it up. She seems to small, coat is too short, etc. I know I have to give her a chance. But, all I want is my boy back. He was born with deformities in 3 different leg joints. Right before Christmas we knew it was time. He was in so much pain. December 28 we put him down. I was devastated. I spent the next 4 days in tears. I really want another GSD, but I'm afraid that it will never be the same. That I could never love another GSD the way I loved him and would end up comparing the new one to Willy. I miss him so much, it's like a piece of me is missing. I only had 
4 1/2 years with him. Now a lifetime without him seems unbearable. I hope one day to be able to remember him with a smile. For now, the memories only bring heartache and the wish for what might have been.


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## koda girl (Feb 15, 2010)

Willy sure was a beautiful boy. I know it must have been and still is very difficult to be without him. Love the new little guy you have, knowing he is not replacing Willy, but just there to love you.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

I am so sorry, I understand your feelings well. He was a very handsome boy and I know you loved him very much.


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## patti (Apr 7, 2010)

What a handsome boy he was. I know how you feel. I have loved a lot of dogs, and none is the same. All you can do is try to love the little one for him self, and realize he needs you and loves you and accepts you. Soon he will have his own place in your heart, if you can let him. Please just give him more time. And keep us updated on how you are doing.


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## heysharon (Apr 20, 2010)

*Took the words right out of my mouth*

I could have written this post a year ago. I lost the dog of my heart, Ranger, a golden, on December 16, 2009. We had 9 years together, and we read each others' mind. He was very elderly (15 o4 16) when he died, and for the last year he was completely deaf and mostly blind, though he still had fair mobility. He was alway my velcro dog, devoted to me only, but we got even closer when he lost his vision. He got cancer and I had to let him go. It was the worst emotional pain I've ever experienced. I slept with his ashes for months, went to bed every night hoping to dream of him. I had two wonderful dreams that I'll treasure always.

I got a puppy only a month later, too quickly--my gsd Soldier. Soldier is an excellent dog, and we are slowly growing into a relationship that has the potential to one day be as symbiotic as mine was with Ranger. I see many of the same qualities in Soldier that Ranger had. But those are some big paws to fill.

Finally, a year later, I was able to complete this post without crying! I've written many other posts about Ranger with tears running down my face and an aching heart. Now I can finally say that my memories of him make me smile more than cry. You'll get there.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

i am so sorry, what a beautiful big boy. rip willy, six is way too young, that's for sure.

the larger the love the larger the grief. heysharon is right tho, you will get there. take care, let us know how you're doing.


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## Whitedog404 (Mar 25, 2010)

He sure was handsome and gone too soon. So sorry for the loss.


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## k94doglady (Feb 23, 2011)

He was in so much pain. He used to love to go for 4 or 5 mile hikes with me. By the time I had to let him go he could barely walk 2 blocks. As much as I knew it would hurt me, I couldn't stand to see him in pain. They spend their lives giving to us, but the day comes when we have to give back to them. He gave me his life, I gave him a release from pain. Thank you to all for the replies. I just take it one day at a time and try to throw myself into training the pup. Today was just hard without him. I really needed him lately. I made a memorial video for him on youtube right after he dies if anyone would like to take a look.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

My condolences to you. I think there are many members on the forum that know exactly how you are feeling. All I can say is that I hope one day you can find your one special GSD again. He/She is out there. You will never forget your boy,but one day you will be able to look back on him fondly and smile.
I lost my heart dog in 2007 she was my life. She knew me I knew her. We could just look at each other and just know what the other needed. She knew when I needed her all without words. I lost her to cancer July 2007. I mourned for her for 3 yrs. I couldn't look at her pic,talk about her,think about her without bursting into tears. My heart actually ached for her. Dogs came and went over the yrs. but I still mourned for her. I don't know how it happened but when Jamie came home to us. My heart was magically healed that quickly. It is like Jamie put a bandaid on my wounds. It was totally unexpected. It took a little over 3 yrs. for this to happen, but it did. I am able to look at her pic on my desk and remember all the love that was there. No crying. 

If you need to talk or vent there are lots of great members on this board that can offer advice, support or just listen. We are here for you. Lastly I would like to welcome you to this forum.


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## London's Mom (Aug 19, 2009)

I can feel your pain after losing my Olina 3 weeks ago. You miss your Willy because he was such a big part of your life. I do feel that you should consider gettting another GSD. It will add another big lovable huggable Shepherd to your world. And if you adopt from Rescue Group or Shelter, you will be saving a life as well. I have never compared one of my GSDs to a previous because they are all so different. I love them all.


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## VegasResident (Oct 4, 2006)

I am so sorry for losing you boy and as many of us here can say, what you have written is what we have each written when we lost that special companion that was a piece of us. It has been over a year since Bink, my sweet girl GSD left and I remember still how that hurt. No one will ever replace her.

I have an 8 month old GSD boy now, Romeo, who is as different as black and white to Bink. He owns my heart in a different way and I could not imagine life without him now and the joy he brings to me is unmatched in his own way.

The pain will dull over time, missing will not. Just know you are always welcome here.


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