# Afraid for Heidi and me



## Bridget

This post is probably going to be pretty disjointed and I hope I can even be understood. Heidi is 12, HD. She is getting worse. Now I can't get her to go for walks at all. I took her swimming last week and she did really well and enjoyed it. I told her we would start going every day, but life got in the way and we haven't been back. This morning she had a really difficult time getting up and moving. She did eat all of her breakfast, but while I was getting ready for work she was watching me and had this look on her face and I wonder if this is the telling me that everybody talks about but I haven't experienced in the past. I am so scared. I always think I'll be fine, that it's just another part of life, but that is never the experience, is it? I just have this bad feeling that either she will pass soon or that I will need to make the decision soon. Up till the past few weeks, she was doing so well and I thought we would be the medical miracle and she would see 13 years, which happens next month. I wanted to stay home from work today, but I share work with a co-worker and just as I had about decided to take the afternoon off, call the vet, go swimming, spend it with her, my co-worker called ME and let me know she is ill today. It is frowned upon for both of us to take time off at the same time. Also, I want to spend as much time now with Heidi as I can, but I also worry that the time may come later that I may need to take time off more and I don't want to not have any. Does that make sense? I am so scared.


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## pyratemom

I'm sorry your old girl is having problems. You will know when the time comes. Your dog will let you know. It is never easy. Tell your coworker what you are facing so she will be ready to take over for you for a day. My heart to yours. It is never easy to say good bye but leaving them have some dignity in the end is better. When the day comes and I hope she does make it to 13 then spend time with her, talk to her, tell her that a time is coming when she won't be in pain. I remember my last night with Pyrate. I knew the time had come as he had a stroke or seizure at home and it left him not cognizant of any one around him but he knew I was there. I held him all night knowing it would be our last. It still hurts after two years. :hugs:


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## Bridget

Thanks. I should have taken her swimming yesterday and I don't know why I didn't. Starting today we go every day unless it's raining. I want to call my vet, but I don't really know what to say. I want him to put her on stronger meds, but I don't want her to lose control and sleep constantly and lose her quality of life. Because up to now, despite all this, her quality has been pretty good. I don't want to ruin that now.


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## Shade

I know what it feels like and I wish you strength and peace in these hard days :hugs:

I had to take it day by day, otherwise I found myself literally making myself ill with stress.

Treasure each day, enjoy as many of the fun things as you can without pushing her too much. Talk to the vet about pain management, with probably weeks at most left you don't have to worry about side effects and they should be able to help you with a management plan to keep her comfortable.

In the end Alex told me it was time, on the last night he was whining in his sleep which he never did and he was very mopey and miserable from the pain. I knew it was time and made the appointment for that evening, one of the hardest things I've ever done but I stayed with him for every moment. Once the sedative took effect he was so calm and peaceful for the first time in days and I knew I was doing the right thing. He snuggled into my arms and sighed out his last breath. Knowing he was free of pain and happy again was worth every tear I shed and I truly believe I'll see him again so that is a comfort

The only thing I'll stress about the actual process is *insist* and don't back down on giving the sedative beforehand. It really makes the whole process smoother and easier


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## Bridget

Thank you so much. My vet always does give the sedative first, so that is taken care of. I did call and he will call me back about getting her some stronger meds. When she had her check-up in March, the vet said to keep taking her for a walk, that she needs to keep her joints moving. I try to encourage her, but sometimes she just refuses. I can't force her or pull her around because she falls off her feet! My husband said if she doesn't want to go, don't make her, so we're playing it by ear. Lately, she won't even go if our lab goes. 

I will be going home for lunch. Please Lord, let Heidi meet me at the door like she always does.


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## pyratemom

When Pyrate got to where he couldn't make his usual morning walk I still leashed him up and walked him around our front yard over to the next house and back. That's as far as he could go. We did that for about a month. He enjoyed being out even if he didn't really go anywhere. You are both in my prayers.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

My thoughts are w/ you and Heidi. I think that even getting her out in the yard if possible like Pryrate's Mom said or just outside so she can see folks and things.I think the vet can help you and the quality of life insturment Jean had posted is really good.. Take care
Maggi


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## middleofnowhere

For the late Barker the Elder, accupuncture & chiropractic really helped. I got a dog cart for her but I should have gotten it earlier to get her used to it.

Old dogs and heart ache... Try to remember their youth and the joy of that.


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## Bridget

Yes, I have considered accupuncture & chiropractic, but, and my vet agrees, with Heidi's personality and her agitation with being touched, examined, etc., I don't think it would work for her. Even if they were able to do it, I fear it would cause her so much stress that it wouldn't be worth it.

My vet has offered us Rimadyl. He admits that he has reservations about it, but says that pain management for Heidi right now is our first priority, which I agree with. So, has anyone has experience with this drug?


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## Bridget

Heidi did meet me at the door at lunch time and seemed to be feeling a bit better, unless that is just my imagination. Because of all the side effects I am reading about Rimadyl, I am considering starting our strict regimen of hydro therapy (also know as take the dog swimming every day) and see if that helps her before starting her on this drug. Last week, after she swam, she seemed to feel a lot better and her spirits were high. Any thoughts?


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## Mister C

Bridget said:


> My vet has offered us Rimadyl. He admits that he has reservations about it, but says that pain management for Heidi right now is our first priority, which I agree with. So, has anyone has experience with this drug?





Bridget said:


> Heidi did meet me at the door at lunch time and seemed to be feeling a bit better, unless that is just my imagination. Because of all the side effects I am reading about Rimadyl, I am considering starting our strict regimen of hydro therapy (also know as take the dog swimming every day) and see if that helps her before starting her on this drug. Last week, after she swam, she seemed to feel a lot better and her spirits were high. Any thoughts?


Sorry to hear about your Heidi. 

I am not a vet but I have had a long experience with using Rimadyl and managing an aging senior. We adopted Maddie knowing she had severe HD. She later developed arthritis in her spine. We started her on Rimadyl when she was pretty young--maybe 5 years old or so. She took it for 11 years.

Our strategy was to find the lowest effective dose and monitor her bloodwork every 6 months. We started with something like 1/2 pill per day and then gradually ramped it up over the years as she needed more. By carefully observing her walking and resting we could usually tell when she needed a little more. 

Hydrotherapy is wonderful and is highly recommended.

Best of luck caring for your sweet old girl.


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## Bridget

Thank you for sharing your experience.


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## RebelGSD

You can also try Adequan injections, some dogs get a lot of relief with them.


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## msstone

Bridget, I am sorry for what you are going through. I am going through a similar thing except my Misty is blind. We made the decision to put her to sleep on Wed. I heard good things about acupuncture. Dogs seem to really like it after the initial contact. I have read that they actually enjoy it and look forward to the treatment. Bridget, my situation with Misty is slightly different due to the fact of her being blind. Misty was horribly tortured by a monster who pushed his pregnant wife from a moving car and was sent to prison. The Monster cut the tip of her tail off. He broke at least three ribs, I think from kicking her, he choked her until he cut off oxygen to her brain and blinded her. I think he may have had sex with her. He burned her paws with cigerettes. My point is that she has suffered enough. You have to determine when you are being selfish and not letting her cross the bridge. I started Misty on Dasuquim with MSM. It helped a little at easing some of her pain. Know keeping her alive for your sake is not the best thing for her. Making the decision to put her to sleep is very difficult but it is the right thing to do. It will break your heart but know you are doing the best thing. Only you know when is the right time. All I am asking is for you to make sure you are doing the right thing for her not you. Best wishes I hope everything works out for the best. Again I am sorry for your pain.


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## Bridget

OMG, I am so sorry. Your post made me cry for Misty. My thoughts are with you today and tomorrow.

I did go with the Rimadyl for Heidi and she started it last night. So far, she does not seem to be having any ill effects from it. She was still having a difficult time this morning, but perhaps it takes a while to start helping. Heidi did seem to feel better yesterday as the day wore on. I did take her swimming after work and she became quite animated and really enjoyed it. Maybe, in my panic, I was jumping the gun. We are giving the Rimadyl a try and if it doesn't help, will go from there. Thank you.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Glad to hear Heidi is doing a little better and sounds like she had a great tim swimming.Continued thoughts and prayers.


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## K9POPPY

Sorry to hear about your troubles, but give Rimadyl a chance to work, it may really help your girl alot, we've used it for a long time on our older GSD"s. Best of wishes for your girl, Bob


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## Bridget

Thank you. Heidi has now had her third Rimadyl. I can't tell that it is helping her physically yet, but she seems in very high spirits, which is good to see.


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## Juliem24

I can tell you from personal experience, no matter how my heart broke, I am grateful that I cradled my dogs and when that sedative took effect, the tension and pain left them, I was so glad I cold give them that last gift. That's how I'd like to die, my kids ( and dogs!)cradling me and my fear and pain gone. I'm glad I could do this for my dogs.


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## DWP

*Sincerely*

Peace be with you.


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## Bridget

Heidi jumped up and sat on the chair today, so the Rimadyl must be working well for her! I asked the vet if I could give it to her only when she was in a really bad way and he said yes, but I will probaby give it to her all the time as directed, since she is most likely in pain most of the time and it's awfully hard to tell how bad it is. It looks like we have been given a reprieve! I suppose, like most drugs, it will run its course and stop working, and when that happens, it might be the end. But for now, we will just enjoy our life. Thank you for all the support and also the personal Rimadyl experiences, as I was afraid to put her on it, with the horror stories I've heard.


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## kiya

I had Apache on the generic Carpofen for about 2-3 years he's 11-1/2 really bad arthritis and HD although not severe. Adaquin injections helped him a lot. Recently I stopped the Carpropen and started giving him turmeric since I've been taking that myself but it can't be used with NSAIDs. So far it's 2 weeks and he still wants to play ball. You can also give her milkthistle to protect her liver from the Rymadel.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

So happy to hear that Heidi's feeling bettter.


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## Bridget

I think the Rimadyl helps her to feel better, which is paramount. Her rear end is getting weaker and weaker and now gives out frequently. I had a revelation though. I have been making Heidi into a burden, worrying about her all the time until it had become almost an obsession, which Heidi doesn't want. Not going to do it anymore. We are enjoying the late winter of Heidi's life every day and will face what's ahead when it comes.


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## Shade

I'm glad the Rimadyl is helping and she's feeling better  

Here are some of my favourite quotes regarding worry. The first is a personal favourite:

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” ~ Bill Keane

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” ~ Mother Teresa


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## pyratemom

I'm so glad your baby is getting some relief from the Rimadyl. I used it for Pyrate and it did seem to help him.


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## Bridget

Great quotes, thanks!


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## wolfstraum

It takes a very long time for Rimadyl to affect the dog's kidneys.....realistically, much longer than Heidi will need it...don't be afraid to use it....

Are you sure this is HD and not DM ???? Many people assume that when a dog has rear end issues as a senior it is dysplasia when it is actually DM....I found that Metacam helped my old girl Alice....she lost alot of strength in teh rear and I helped her get about with a sling at the end....

Enjoy every moment you have, dogs don't perceive their own passing, so keep your spirits up and keep her happy too

Lee


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Bridget said:


> I think the Rimadyl helps her to feel better, which is paramount. Her rear end is getting weaker and weaker and now gives out frequently. I had a revelation though. I have been making Heidi into a burden, worrying about her all the time until it had become almost an obsession, which Heidi doesn't want. Not going to do it anymore. We are enjoying the late winter of Heidi's life every day and will face what's ahead when it comes.


 
That is a wonderful way to look at it.Stiil in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Wicked Seraphim

I am going through something similar and this wonderful group of caring, generous, kind hearted people gave me wonderful advice and support in this thread you might find wonderful to have too: http://www.germanshepherds.com/foru...-lost-my-14-yr-old-gsd-new-years-eve-now.html

Novox, Tramadol, Dasuquin /w MSM (nutramax laboratories), Purina Veterinary Diet JM (joint mobility) Canine Formula. Adequan injections are going to start in August so she's all set for fall and winter. All good things to take a look into for Heidi.:hug:


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## Sabis mom

wolfstraum said:


> It takes a very long time for Rimadyl to affect the dog's kidneys.....realistically, much longer than Heidi will need it...don't be afraid to use it....
> 
> Are you sure this is HD and not DM ???? Many people assume that when a dog has rear end issues as a senior it is dysplasia when it is actually DM....I found that Metacam helped my old girl Alice....she lost alot of strength in teh rear and I helped her get about with a sling at the end....
> 
> Enjoy every moment you have, dogs don't perceive their own passing, so keep your spirits up and keep her happy too
> 
> Lee


Sabi used Metacam as well and it helped until the DM had progressed to far. The Metacam is safer then Rimydal and we used it on an as needed basis.

I to became obsessed with the ending, and came to the same conclusion. I was making my dog miserable worrying about me. In the end we just carried on as if nothing was wrong, just a bit slower.

Treasure every second.


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## T U N D R A

OK I'm over 50 years old here and reading these posts actually made me cry. 
Especially the one about Misty! WHO DOES THAT..?? 
My Tundra is only 5 and ~such~ a good girl.. but I remember before I got her we adopted a GSD from the local animal control shelter.. and she was gone within days. Warblers disease and the vet said the lethal part/end just happened to strike when I adopted her.. I remember not believing how much it HURT losing a dog I had only bonded with for 5 days, but it did. I remember when I first got her how she just laid down right away, but her eyes followed me all over the place, those beautiful, soulful eyes.. she was the grey/silver GSD and I had looked for one for so loong.. then within days, she was gone. A very, very ~sweet~ dog.. and yes even though our time together was so brief, I loved her.. my daughter was still in elementary school, and it was hard on us both.. how these creatures seep into your heart so easily! I can't imagine losing my Tundie.. my thoughts are with you.


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