# Did the hardest thing yesterday........



## flyinghayden (Oct 7, 2005)

But now I am really glad I did it. When my friend, Gary, and I laid my GSD Heidi to rest back on October 29, after she died from exposure from falling through thin ice, I had been on my 30th hour without sleep, I was exhausted, and Heidi, after being in the water for many hours, plus rigor mortis, was really stiff, and with the ground being frozen, it was a haphazard burial at best. I had no intentions of returning, but last week with the onset of summer weather, I tangled with the thought of going back and doing it right. I did not really want to see her again, but I just could not get it out of my mind either. But in the last couple days, with the temps climbing into the low 70s, I knew decay would start to set in, so I knew I had to do it. I went alone, I thought it would be best. It was a tough walk, no snow, marsh where it was solid before, but soon I was in the thicket where I knew we buried her. I was not sure what I would find, I had hoped in the back of my mind she would be gone, taken away by some predator, but then I saw the telltale mound. I had intended to simply dig a new deeper grave and just pull her blanket shrouded body out of the old grave and lower her into the new one and cover her back over. But, eventually, my resolve got the best of me, and I had to look, just one more time. I gingerly pulled the blanket back, and there she was. My big, sweet chubby Heidi. With winter just ending, decay had not set in, she still smelled like Heidi, was soft and pliable just like Heidi. I longed for her to wake up, and follow me back out of the woods, back home, be Miss Messy like she was, lay on her back, and hog the couch, do the things that used to irritate, or make me laugh. I lay with her there under the warm sun, hugging her for a long time, then I bound her up in the blanket, and buried her there. Then whispering goodbye one final time, I left quietly the way I came. I feel a bit sad today, but I feel so relieved and happy that I went back. Godspeed Miss Heidi. I love you girl.


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

Heidi. 
Wow,I am sitting here in tears for you.I don't think I could ever do that.I would want to,but I don't know I would be able to.I am glad you were able to lay her to rest,now hopefully you can be at peace with her death.


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## JerzeyGSD (Jun 26, 2008)

That was an extremely brave thing that you did. I hope this will help you find the closure you were looking.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

well that's a wonderful and brave thing for you to do for her richard. as always, many blessings.

rest in peace dear heidi-girl.


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## Toffifay (Feb 10, 2007)

Oh my goodness! I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw the title...and now I have tears in my eyes! Bless you for being such a loving person and definately Godspeed sweet Heidi!


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## k9sarneko (Jan 31, 2007)

Wow, tears flow as I read your post. What a brave and wonderfully loving thing you did for your sweet girl. 

I remember like it was yesterday when you lost sweet Heidi, the pain of her loss. I am so glad that you were able to give this lovely girl the proper burial you so wanted.

She was so lucky to be loved by such a good man. 

Run free sweet Heidi, knowing with every step how very much you are loved.


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## Crabtree (Jan 6, 2006)

Richard I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. The way you described it, I could see my self in your place and how I would feel if it were one of my pups.
God bless you for being such a wonderful caring soul.
Rest in peace sweet Miss Hiedi, until you meet again.


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## Jazy's mom (Jan 5, 2004)

Oh Richard,

I can not imagine the emotions that you had to deal with today. I know that like you, I would have had to go back for peace of mind and like you I would have had to see her one more time. I hope that you have found peace knowing now that she has had a proper burial and you have had a chance to say your final good-bye.

Rest in Peace Heidi


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## BJDimock (Sep 14, 2008)




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## Regen (Mar 8, 2007)

I am not sure what to say. This is both so sad, and yet I am happy you got some peace and closure from this. I also believe Heidi's spirit was with you. 

RIP Heidi


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## robin armatis (Mar 15, 2009)

Richard, I can not add anything that the others havent said. With tears running down my face also, I dont know that I would of been able to do what you did, much less by myself.

Heidi knew how much you loved her.... RIP


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## Amaruq (Aug 29, 2001)

> Originally Posted By: k9sarnekoWow, tears flow as I read your post. What a brave and wonderfully loving thing you did for your sweet girl.
> 
> I remember like it was yesterday when you lost sweet Heidi, the pain of her loss. I am so glad that you were able to give this lovely girl the proper burial you so wanted.
> 
> ...


I could not have said it any better. I was fighting the tears when I read this, on my break, at work, with having to walk back across the entire floor of people that simply would not get the tears. 


RIP Sweet Heidi you were so deeply loved!


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

The shock of how you lost Heidi remains with me as well. It was so sudden and so heartbreaking. 

I'm glad that you were able to see your Heidi as you remember her. I know it won't erase the dark memories of her death, but hopefully, this will give you a warm and more tender memory for your final goodbye. I'm so glad you had this opportunity to lay her to rest lovingly and gently, as she deserves... and as you deserve. 

Bless you Richard.


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## ArmyGSD (Apr 27, 2009)

I am at a loss for words. I know the winter burials can be extremely difficult, I applaude you on your risolve to do the right thing for Heidi. You are in my prayers as you go through the grieving process. 

Heidi will be there waiting for you at the Bridge so cry now, but rejoice later. Godspeed


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## Skye'sMom (Jul 11, 2004)

Richard, I hope that now you can have more peace. Even though you did all you could for Heidi when you found her, I know this has haunted you.

I am glad you were able to stroke her fur, give her hugs and say goodbye. Your wonderful rescued dogs are all very lucky you found them.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

It seems as if Heidi was waiting for you too.







I am so glad you were wiiling and able to do this for both of you - as someone else said you are a special man.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Oh, Richard. Such a caring, tender thing you did for your sweet heidi. I have no doubt that she was right there with you the entire time-- especially close to you then, even as she watches over you normally-- and tried to let you feel her caring presense as you did these kind tasks for her. Ministering to her, connecting, loving her... and she recieved ALL of that love. Heidi's life with you was not long enough of course, but so full of love, laughs, adventures.. and more love. You are a courageous, giving man who wanted to give again to her.. and you did. May today be a bit easier for you as you think on how loved Heidi knew that she was.


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## SuzyE (Apr 22, 2005)

wow Richard, I am so sorry.


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## rjvamp (Aug 23, 2008)

You did an amazing thing for Heidi. And I think also will help with your own closure. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Saying goodbye once is bad enough, but twice. I can't imagine.


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## AniasGSDs (Oct 18, 2004)

Wow, Richard! That is such a touching and loving story. But also what a difficult thing to do. Essentially, you had to say "Good Bye" to your darling Heidi twice! My heart goes out to you!


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## Strana1 (Feb 9, 2008)

I hope you have peace, my thoughts are with you. Sweet Heidi Run Free Beautiful Girl


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## marksmom3 (Dec 17, 2007)

Heidi.


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## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

Richard,

Everything you have ever posted about your dogs sum to a single fact: your heart is in your dogs. Reading about your transnational adoptions and changes in housing with your dogs in mind-it's all a single story to me: your heart is in your dogs.

I was really frightened when I saw a thread from you in this forum but now I am again filled with admiration for your bond to your girls.

Sleep peacefully tonight Richard knowing that Heidi is also at peace.

Mary Jane


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## flyinghayden (Oct 7, 2005)

Thanks so much. You are all such great people.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

This definitely was a loving and kind thing to do for your Heidi. It is obvious how much you love your dogs. I hope this helps you find peace and closure.

RIP lovely Heidi.


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## wolfstraum (May 2, 2003)

OMG - Richard - what a heart rending situation ..... poor Heidi, and what courage it took to lay her to rest properly....I am so sorry....









Lee


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

> Quote:Everything you have ever posted about your dogs sum to a single fact: your heart is in your dogs. Reading about your transnational adoptions and changes in housing with your dogs in mind-it's all a single story to me: your heart is in your dogs.


Mary Jane - you have such a a way with words...I just couldn't say it any better.

I can't imagine what kind of love it takes to do what you did today, Richard. I'm glad you got to say your goodbyes to your sweet girl. I wish the world was full of Richards...









You can rest well now, Heidi...







But never fear, because there is no doubt that you will someday be reunited with your wonderful dad.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

> Originally Posted By: KShort
> I can't imagine what kind of love it takes to do what you did today, Richard. I'm glad you got to say your goodbyes to your sweet girl. I wish the world was full of Richards...


I agree.


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## SunCzarina (Nov 24, 2000)

Richard, I"m so sorry you had to loose her all over again. RIP sweet Heidi.


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## sd3567 (May 16, 2005)

RIP Heidi, you will be missed.


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## TG (Dec 31, 2004)

That was both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Heidi will still be waiting for you. RIP lovely girl.

Hugs to you and the rest of Heidi's pack.


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## rockhead (Jul 8, 2007)

That is one of the saddest, yet most inspirational things I have read in my life. I wish I had your fortitude; I would have collapsed into a mass of jelly.

Godspeed, Heidi.


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## LuvourGSDs (Jan 14, 2007)

Oh Richard, this was the 1st post of the day I read & boy, my eyes are full of water & my heart hurts for you.







Such a hard thing to do, but something I would have done also. I would want to know she was in the earth & burried right.









Such a hard & touching thing to do. Glad it ended up being still your sweet Heidi as you remembered her, how amazing the harsh Alaska Winter helped keep her that way.








sweet girl, you were much loved.

Take care Richard..........


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