# Puppy starting to only listen to Husband



## klaimbeer1 (Apr 11, 2016)

Hi everyone!

Chapo is now 4 months old and growing so fast. He only had the 1 seizure, and has been normal ever since. (Thank God).

I am having a difficult time with Chapo listening to me. I am the primary care giver to him. I feed him, I let him out. I walk him. I take him to puppy classes and to the dog park -- but when we are at home its as if he only listens to my husband. 

He is beginning his stage where he is gaining confidence and now his strong personality is really starting to show. 

Does anyone have any advice on how to establish my dominance with him? I make him sit and wait for everything and he doesn't get on the furniture. 

Do I show him too much affection? I love him so much, and I do talk to him a lot and kiss his snout and and pet him all the time. is that a bad thing? My husband is not as affectionate with him -- and he seems to respect him more. Its starting to really discourage me. 

If this has been covered before in another thread, I apologize. This forum can be overwhelming and I am relatively new. if anyone could point me in the right direction I would love it. 

Thanks a lot!


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## Traveler's Mom (Sep 24, 2012)

You sound a lot like me, klaimbeer1 with maybe a point or two difference.

Yes, I did all the walking, training, cleaning, and kissing. My husband was not an absentee dad but he wasn't the main driver yet Traveler seemed to listen to him so much better. It drove me nuts. I could holler for the dog to come in the house and one call from my husband brought him running. No, there wasn't any hidden corrections or such that maybe I wasn't aware of. I took the dog to work with me and we were together at home so that puts an end to any thoughts along that line.

In the end, I think it was his voice and his posture that made Traveler listen better to him. Even though I was the trainer and dispenser of treats, I think my demeanor was more "mommy" and hence, taken less seriously. I am quite sure if I had gained this knowledge sooner, our training would have progressed much faster.

Just my 2¢

Lynn & Traveler


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## Mary Beth (Apr 17, 2010)

It's hard to do, but don't take it personally. It is sorta of like having a stay-at-home mom and then when dad comes home from work, he gets all the attention from the kids. It doesn't mean the kids love mom less. But mom is there all the time and dad isn't. So, I guess what I would do, is to split the puppy care. When your husband is home, let him be in charge of Chapo. That would be a time for you to sit back and relax from the responsibility. When you go for walks together, your husband can walk Chapo. If you go by a store and want to go inside, your husband can wait with Chapo outside. If Chapo starts to act up, it's your husband's turn to deal with it. Above all, hard as it is, I would suggest not competing for Chapo's attention. If you are able to back off a bit when your husband is home, you may find out that Chapo will then seek more of your attention because he doesn't sense your displeasure which could cause him to turn more towards your husband for attention.


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## Henricus (Jan 9, 2016)

I am a man living in a house with my family (mother and two sisters). They don't have much control over my pup, especially if he tries to do something "wrong". He listens, at least indoors, for his age and my capabilities as a trainer, quite good to me. But still, we have a good friend of the family who can call him even when he is standing next to me, and he listens. That man has quite the dominant posture, big voice, and is very energetic. The dog is almost naturally attracted to him. When we (me and that friend) went to the cinema and returned three hours later, my pup came running towards us, the man greeted him enthusiastically, but my pup evaded him and ran directly towards me. I was so happy, really was afraid he would greet him first. 
I don't know much about training dogs, but I imagine your pup will be susceptible for alpha males until you guys create a strong bond through much training and activities together. But I might be totally wrong.








Good luck!


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## Themusicmanswife (Jul 16, 2015)

I am the main caretaker for my pup. She is better behaved for me than my husband. He is not a natural dog person and he thinks more about what the dog would like than what he would like the dog to do. A big difference. My first GSD had him conditioned to petting him or he would snarl. I had no idea. :surprise: It all happened when I was not there. ( I had the dog before my husband and I met.) He was worried about the dog liking him. It was an easy fix; my husband just needed to act like he was not beholden to the dog's whims and wishes. 
My current pup will act out more for my husband but not to that degree. My husband needs to always work on being consistent and assertive and not anthropomorphizing the dog. It does not come natural to him. My pup will be pushy with him in subtle ways that she is not with me.
I do think you can love up a pup too much. Depending on the dog. My current puppy needs structure and rules and she will act out if she is given over the top affection. Sometimes we realize we have to dial it back a little because she's acting out. Her behavior always improves when we do.
Also, my puppy listens very well to one of my boys. He's only 9 but he is a natural with dogs. Everything in my son's demeanor and whatnot is just very natural and right. 
For what it's worth, my children behave better for me than my husband. They will flat out admit it. It's all for obvious reasons and it's the same mindset with the dog. 
You can do it. You. Just gotta believe :grin2:


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## sebrench (Dec 2, 2014)

Are there any specific behaviors that your pup isn't doing for you that you could list as examples? 
A few basics, which if you're taking classes, you probably already know: don't repeat commands, for example, only say "sit' once, not "sit, sit, sit, SIT." Be in a position to ensure the dog obeys. Be calm, confident, and consistent. I think I read somewhere that it may be helpful for a woman to lower her voice when giving commands. I think it was this book, (not a how-to, but I really enjoyed it): 
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/034544678X/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Asher obeys me more than my husband. But that's probably because I've done all the training. My husband is a former cat-person turned dog-lover.


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## klaimbeer1 (Apr 11, 2016)

Thank you everyone for your input. It is very disheartening to for me to think that my pup loves him more than me lol. 

I am mostly talking about around the house, in the yard -- while both of us are present. It's like I have no authority. Yesterday, we were putting the dogs up and I told Chapo to go to his cage. He went the opposite direction and laid down. Before I had a chance to redirect him to his cage. My husband told him to get In the cage and he got up and ran to his cage and layed down. 

My husband laughs and says he doesn't respect me--- but I am really starting to believe it. 

When I tell him to sit. Lay down. Stay- he does those things. It's when I am trying to direct him somewhere it seems like. When I tell him to go to his cage. Or to come. Or to get in the car. Nothing. But it's instant when my husband is doing it. 

Very frustrating.


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## Themusicmanswife (Jul 16, 2015)

I would stop worrying about the puppy liking you. Take your cues from your husband. The dog is responding to him better so watch and do it like that. Fake it til you make it. Your dog will like and respect you if you treat it as if it is a given.


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## Zack23434 (Nov 30, 2015)

This is perfect timing because you sound exactly like what my wife was telling me a few weeks ago. Our pup is 8.5 months old and for at least a month now he has been acting different with my wife. 
I didn't think to much of it until I went out of town for work for 3 days. She called me upset because it was like he did a 180 in his training and wasn't listening at all to her. 
He was obviously showing signs leading up to those few days but once I was gone he really decided to try and take control. It was nothing major just surprising behaviors. For example he never gets on our bed but he was doing that when I left and she couldn't get him off. He also started puppy nipping again which is something he stopped doing months ago. If she wasn't doing what he wanted her to do(attention on him) he would come up and try and move her with his mouth. 
I came home and everything was back to normal and he was the somewhat perfect citizen again. It was like nothing ever happened. 
My wife like you, was getting very frustrated with this. 
This was a couple weeks ago and since then my wife has been working on her control of him. We got a prong collar for the first time and have had him wearing it around the house where she can make simple corrections or have him do quick off leash heels at a whims notice randomly in the house at any time. This really seems to be working affectively. 
In essence the difference between me and my wife as far as our interaction with Colt is that she shows way more affection to him then I do and to him is probably much easier to please. I do show affection to him but it's usually quick and less frequent. It's like because I don't give him approval so easily that he wants it more. Like how you want and love something more you can't get or have. When I say something to him it's as if he thinks this is my chance to gain his praise and affection where as when my wife was giving a command he was thinking I don't have to listen because you will show praise and affection to me at some point anyway. As if it's not as special. It's like if you over treat a dog with low value treats. I'm giving him the high value praise because he has to work for it. 
I would never tell her not to love on the dog because if that's what she wants then it is what it is. But it's a choice she has to make if she wants him to take her seriously when it's time to be serious. Like I said though, things are getting better as she modifys her behaviors towards him so don't get frustrated, just realize you see an obvious area that you would like improvement on so it will be easier to fix since you know what to concentrate on. And, you know your dog will listen and show respect because he does it for your husband so it's clearly attainable. 
P.S, the first thing I told my wife a long time ago is she has to try and not use high pitched(baby) voices at the dog. It becomes a habit and I always told her she would regret that. She has improved on that greatly. 
I know her situation with our dog is probably different then yours but in some ways it's very similar.


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## SuperG (May 11, 2013)

One of the moderators...I believe... posted this article not too long ago. Maybe it might be of help.

SuperG

An excerpt from the article. http://www.webring.org/l/rd?ring=petdogsl;id=5;url=http://k9deb.com/socialis.htm


" *KING OF THE CASTLE SYNDROME*
I often hear from people that are not experiencing any real behavior problems with their dog, but they want an explanation for a very common phenomenon that I call "King of the Castle Syndrome". The call almost always comes from the woman of the house. Jane wanted a dog and John didn't. They agreed that Jane would get the dog and it would be her dog. Jane gets the dog and she's very happy! She dotes on him, she feeds him, bathes him and brushes him every day. She provides him with everything a dog could ever want -- except leadership. John ignores the dog most of the time, but is not unfriendly to him. When the dog approaches John while he's reading the newspaper John looks at him, then goes back to reading. When the dog approaches Jane she stops what she's doing and plays with him. What has prompted the phone call is that Jane is feeling rejected by the dog. When John comes home from work the dog acts like he's greeting his long lost, beloved grandmother. John gives the dog a pat on the head and a "Hi there dog" and goes about his business. Jane is upset because the dog is never that happy to see her and she always lavishes attention on him when she gets home! During the evening the dog will lay quietly and happily at John's feet. When he wants attention he goes to Jane and bugs her until she gives him what he wants. What has happened, over time, is that John has begun to enjoy having a dog. When John is so inclined, he calls the dog over for petting or ball throwing or to take him for a walk. As much as the dog seems to love Jane, he is completely devoted to John. John has the attitude of an alpha. That's all it takes, attitude. It doesn't take aggression, it doesn't take rolling a dog onto it's back and growling, it doesn't take hitting or yelling -- just attitude."


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