# What do you tell people?



## IliamnasQuest (Aug 24, 2005)

Khana is doing beautifully as a Service Dog and I couldn't be more pleased at how she is working out. I'm getting better at my "leave it" timing to stop people from approaching ... *L* .. and Khana has settled in well.

However, I have a personal problem that I'm not sure how to address. I'll be standing there in the store, looking at something on a shelf, and someone will mention my dog and then when I look up and say "she's a Service Dog" they'll respond with something like "well, what is she doing for you?" - as if they don't believe me because she's standing there quietly. One girl said "I don't see what she's doing to help you". It's happened several times and I never quite know what to say.

I usually tell them some of the things that she does, like carrying items I need in her pack, picking up things for me, etc. but I'm actually irritated to some extent by their questions. These are just other shoppers (I have not had a single store employee in ANY store question me about having a SD). They're not asking what's wrong with me. But they seem to assume that she's not doing anything just because I don't have her actively bringing me items or something.

This has happened consistently in my trips to grocery stores. I'm a bit taken aback by it - I would never have thought to question someone about what their Service Dog did, unless I knew the person and we were having a discussion on training. I'm torn between trying to be nice because I know that people are basically ignorant when it comes to SDs, and saying something kind of rude back because I feel they're invading my privacy. 

The last time I was waiting in line to check out and someone called to Khana: "hey doggie" while holding out her hand. I told her that Khana couldn't be petted because she was working, and she wanted to know exactly what Khana was doing to be working. Well, sheesh, lady, what do you think she SHOULD be doing while we're standing in line? Backflips? Cartwheels? Counting my money to make sure I have enough?

Aaarrggh. I don't usually get frustrated like this but it's happening often enough that it's truly irritating. I don't particularly like going to stores to start with and I want to go in, shop and get out quickly without people bothering me. 

So now that I've vented (thank you for listening! *L*) - what do YOU say when someone questions you on what your dog does as a Service Dog? Do you brush off the question, make a joke, or give a real answer?

Melanie and the gang in Alaska


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## Riley's Mom (Jun 7, 2007)

There's just no accounting for some people's rude-ness and nosey-ness. If people can't see the dog physically doing something, they think you're a liar and just want to bring your dog in the stores. I think it's possible this attitude will shrink as SD's become more prevalent but this is going to take time. Some people view SD's as dogs that only assist those people with visible disabilities. Some don't realize that not every disability is visible to the human eye or that dogs are capable of helping those with non-visible issues.

What *might* work is instead of saying outright she's a SD - you could try something more like "she's in training" or "she's in training to be a service dog." Granted, it's dishonest and you should *not* have to justify or explain yourself or the presence of your dog, but it might shut some of them up. 

It really doesn't matter what they think because the chances of you ever seeing complete strangers again is pretty slim, but it IS hard to take the looks and the comments even if they should be minding their own business rather than yours. I'm sure someone who's got more experience with SD's will have a better answer than me, but that's what comes to mind. Good luck!


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

"Wish I had time to explain, but I need to do my business here as well as monitor my WORKING dog."

"www.danawheels.com will give you a good explaination."

"Until I need help with my disability again, which can be anytime, it is her job to be ATTENTIVE to ME." (and move forwards a bit in line)

"Service dog duties are a complex theme, what I can quickly tell you is that she is trained in tasks to mitigate my disability."

Actually, after each exchange, you probably should redirect Khana, move forward, be "busy".. even if trapped waiting in line, find a way to move foreward a bit, look towards the register, your watch, hint hint.









You are vertical and articulate, Melanie... the public too often imagines "disabled enough to need a SD" means seated in a wheelchair and unable to do basic things for one's care. If you have time and WANT to explain, you can say:

"SDs for disabilities are like eyeglasses for people with vision issues. You can't wear my eyeglasses, I cannot wear yours--- and there is no way to know how badly someone sees by looking at how thick their optics are. Some legally blind folks don't even WEAR glasses-- yet they stride along, with or without a white cane, with no one the wiser. They still cannot recognize you or me standing here, cannot drive a car-- and their lives are hugely impacted in personal life and work because of this. SDs are like glasses.. there is a range of needs, and not everyone will have a clear, visible cue for you to 'know' that they are disabled enough to legitimately need help."

"Why didn't I get a SD from an agency? Because thanks to the ADA's wording, it is my right NOT to."

"Another thing to remind people (if you ever feel the need to) is:

"Never run up to any strange dog, but especially a service dog. The handler may very vulnerable from just having had surgery, may be in pain from her condition, may have blurry vision from meds, etc. Vulnerable SD handlers with hidden ailments react differently than the average pet walker when you approach them and their assistance dog."

As I mentioned, you are vertical and articulate.... people can't imagine that you may be compromised enough to need real help. I hope I have given a few things to say that make things a bit easier for you and Khana!


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## marksteven (Aug 2, 2008)

if you have to explain to them its probably not worth it. ignorance grows stronger each day.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

I like #4 but I'd leave off "with my disability." 

My thoughts here undoubtedly offer no new insight but just a reminder of what you probably already have considered. I think what's happening is that people are genuinely curious to see a dog in a situation where dogs are usually prohibited. Most of us are used to the concept of "guide dogs for the blind" but not others. Until the public is more thoroughly educated, (as uneducated or uniformed is one definition) you will get ignorant comments. I am sure it does get old and that it is hard to keep in mind that most people mean no harm. As for the idea that it is rude to ask - well, yes, but... until people begin to see the dog as an aide as much as a wheelchair some will probably continue to ask. As dogs are used more and more, people will get used to them and recognize their use much as they have wheelchairs - which means someone needs it for some reason -- and it is not anyone's business why. 

Perhaps for those days when you truly cannot stand to talk about it... "I'm sorry but I don't care to discuss it." You've answered their initial question, you'd rather not extend the conversation.


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## kimkats000 (Dec 28, 2005)

I LOVE to learn and have asked about any SD that the people seemed open to telling me what they were trained to do. One day I hope to raise puppies to be SD so................ the more I know about all the different ways they can be used the better I can raise them for their future jobs.

I don't see it as rudeness just wanting to know/learn.

JMO

Kim


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## Maraccz (Sep 3, 2005)

what is she doing for you:"helping" 
any other answer they will not believe anyhow. 
it is funny how people either assume you need to be in a wheel chair or with a harness & sunglasses.
People don't get it and you can't change them no matter what you say


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

when people ask what does your do or what does your dog do for you i don't think they're questioning your dog. i think they really want to know what service the dog provides. i think they really want to see the dog do something more than stand there. they might see your dogs service as a trick. i was in a bake shop not to long ago an a lady in a wheel chair had her service dog with her. i asked her can i pet him and she replied with a smile "he loves it". so i gave him a pet. he was laying down and he never moved from that position. then i asked "what can your dog do"? she laid down her fork and went down a list of things. she continued to tell me her favorite things. then she told me about the things he was trained to do when she got him and some things she taught him to do. the lady was very happy to tell me about her wonderfull dog.

don't be offended when people ask about your dog. you can tell who being coy or sincere. why do say "leave it" when people approach your dog? why can't people pet your dog? when your in line in a store you know someone is going to pet your dog or some child out of nowhere is going to touch your dog. don't you want your dog to know strangers are going to touch without asking. when your dog let's a stranger pet him he's providing a service to them.

after meeting the lady in the bake shop and hearing all of the things her dog can do i came home and started teaching my dog some new things. i can give him things and he'll take them to my GF. the next time we go shopping i'm going to give him a bag to carry. i've never tried that with him.

good luck with your dog. when people ask about your dog be proud. just think of the warmth and good feeling he provides to a stranger or the smile he puts on a childs face when they can pet him. 

well it's 9:37 am. my GF is sleeping in. it's time for us (Loki and I) to jump on the bed.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

people aren't ignorant because they have an interest in your dog. i think people are fascinated by service dogs. i have a very well trained dog and i'm amazed at the things a service dog can dog. i'm also amazed at what the Scutzhund trained dogs can do.


> Originally Posted By: markstevenif you have to explain to them its probably not worth it. ignorance grows stronger each day.


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## SunCzarina (Nov 24, 2000)

I think most of the people you are encountering may just be fascinated and not know the right way to ask.

Would it be rude or improper to pretend you're deaf?


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## marksteven (Aug 2, 2008)

sorry, when i meant ignorant i meant people asking "why do you have a service dog?"


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## Lauri & The Gang (Jun 28, 2001)

How about a small flyer that explains what service dogs do (not just yours but all the different types)? That way you don't have to really answer people - you can just give them the flyer and say "Here - this flyer details all the different types of working dogs".


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## Mandalay (Apr 21, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: IliamnasQuest she wanted to know exactly what Khana was doing to be working. Well, sheesh, lady, what do you think she SHOULD be doing while we're standing in line? Backflips? Cartwheels? Counting my money to make sure I have enough?


Thats EXACTLY what I was thinking as I read your post. Even when I am at work, I am not working every single second I am there. I take a few minutes to use the washroom, catch my breath, take a lunchbreak, walk to the fax, stand up and stretch, etc. 

I would just tell anyone who asks why she is not "working" at that moment that she _was_ working and is now on her 15 minute OSHA required break.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

across the street from my job i see this man with a dog with a harness on. the man wears very dark glasses. so, all of us at work think he's blind. one day i'm crossing the street and i see this guy put his dog in the back seat of a car. the man walks around to the front of the car. as he's walking around the car he has his left hand on the car. it looks likes he's feeling his way to the drivers side and he is. now keep in mind i think he's blind. so, i had to ask. as i passed him i said "you're allowed to drive". well the man falls out laughing. he said, "i'm not blind, i need the dog for balance". then the man said, "i wonder how many other people think i'm blind"? i said "it's the glasses and the harness".


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## jmincy (Dec 22, 2004)

This seems to be an issue across the board. My wife has finally gotten to the point where she will tell people "my health problems are none of your business" if they are being rude. I agree that most of the folks are simply curious, but others are just downright hateful.

As a trainer, my issue isn't with folks asking, I love to explain what a wonderful job my dogs do for their handlers. What I run into problems with are the folks that won't control their children and they try to maul a dog in training.


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## ladylaw203 (May 18, 2001)

people aren't ignorant because they have an interest in your dog. i think people are fascinated by service dogs. i have a very well trained dog and i'm amazed at the things a service dog can dog. i'm also amazed at what the Scutzhund trained dogs can do.
____________________________________________________

I agree. I know there are rude folks out there, but people approach me all of the time in full uniform,with a collar and harness that says POLICE on it when I am clearly conducting a search. Telling them it is a bomb dog does not phase them. Most folks are genuinely fascinated with the dogs. So if I am continuously bombarded by folks in full uniform asking dumb questions imagine the reasons they ask someone clearly a civlian with a dog in a store where normally they are prohibited. A little patience goes a long way folks. PR


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

Camper is a medical alert dog. And he has a patch on his vest that says MEDICAL ALERT SERVICE DOG. And members of the public ask me, "what does he do for you?"

I say, "he alerts on my medical condition." 

And they ask, "what is that?"

And I smile and say, "a medical condition." And I walk away.

I have a cohort in my service dog group that has a psychiatric service dog that performs tasks. She truly is disabled without her dog's tasks. And people ask her the same questions. She has learned to respond the same way. "I have a medical condition and my dog helps me." What does he do. He helps me. With what? My medical condition. 

Reasonable sensitive people realize they've intruded. Rude people don't, but they aren't people who would care anyhow. 

We don't owe the public an explanation. We do owe a business owner an explanation if they ask, but they're never the problem. It's the public. Some are curious and understand when they get a vague answer that they've gone too far. Some are just kind of jerks. 

I will not tell people that I'm training my dog (in fact, I get that question a lot), because PWDs often look just like everyone else. I look just like everyone else. I don't want people to assume that a person with a disability is automatically a person who has a hearing impairment, or an obvious vision disability, or is in a wheelchair. 

Also, service dogs in training don't have the same rights in many jurisdictions. So Melanie doesn't want to toss away the rights that Khana has earned with an "easy" remark. 

When I'm shopping, I have to manage my grocery cart, my bag, that gallon of milk I just took from the cooler, and my dog. I appreciate what you're saying Lauri, but I don't really have the energy (not to mention enough hands) to be handing out flyers too. I often get asked several times in a single trip to the store about my dog. Partly, it seems to be because the public is far more used to seeing labs and goldens in service dog roles than GSDs. But I just want to go about my day like everyone else. 

The whole point of having a service dog is so that I can be like everyone else, right? I'm not a PR firm for service dogs. I'm just me, and Camper is just the furry guy who helps me do what I need to do. 

It's not that I'm rude or abrupt to people who comment about my dog. When someone says "What a beautiful dog," I smile and say "thank you." Or a parent will explain to their child about service dogs as we walk by, I try to make a point to smile and nod to them, that they 'get it.' Or, when we're standing in line, or waiting around, and someone wants to chat about my dog himself, his training, German Shepherds, or service dogs, I like that sort of conversation. 

But unless a stranger is willing to pay my medical bills, they don't get to know a darn thing about my medical condition.


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## IliamnasQuest (Aug 24, 2005)

Thanks for all the suggestions! I do appreciate your response.

I honestly don't have a problem with those who are respectful and show a true interest. It's the ones who make comments about how she doesn't look like she's doing anything, or in a tone of voice that suggests that. Those are the people that irritate me. I've had several incidents where people make comments that sound snide or rude, often after I say "sorry, but she can't be petted while she's working". I guess they assume that since she's not actively doing something RIGHT THAT MINUTE that I should allow them to pet her.

I haven't been rude to anyone - I'm polite, but I do tell people they're not to pet her. Usually I say "Oh, I'm sorry" when I tell them they can't pet her so in a way I'm even apologetic. I just don't know how to react when people then act like they have a right to question me about what she does. These people are honestly being RUDE.

doggiedad, a working Service Dog should be attentive to their handler and not focusing on others. That's why they shouldn't be petted when in working mode. She even wears a patch that says "Please Don't Pet Me, I'm Working". People don't have a RIGHT to pet my dog at any time, let alone when she's supposed to be helping me. And she is a very friendly dog - she has no problem with being petted if a child reaches out. She is also registered as a Therapy Dog, and if we're in Therapy Dog mode then she is allowed to approach people and interact. But when she's got her SD pack on, she's in SD mode and she's not to interact with others because that's when I need her.

I like the "15 minute OSHA break" .. *LOL*

I also like the idea of flyers - I truly don't mind helping people to understand SDs. I just don't get the rudeness that I hear from some people. It also doesn't help that I'm usually in quite a bit of pain when I'm out in the store. Like I said, I just want to shop and get out. I can handle the nice people, it's the rude ones that are upsetting.

Thanks again for all the responses. I'll have to think about it some more and figure out a good response that is polite and yet firm for those who ask inappropriate questions. I've had some good conversations with people in stores, too, so it's not all bad. I was sitting in a chair near the pharmacy and a lady sat down across from me and asked if she could talk to me about my Service Dog. We had a great conversation about training and dogs. And I've had a few ask about Khana's breed and if it was difficult to train her. I really don't mind questions like those, I just don't like the people using an accusatory tone while they say "well, what IS she doing for you?". It's just really none of their business.

Melanie and the gang in Alaska


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## Riley's Mom (Jun 7, 2007)

I think it's important to listen to the intonation in the voice of the person asking and that will help determine your response. If it's a snide type inquiry that can call for a friendly but short response. Coming back at them with the same bad attitude they hit you up with initially will probably not help and may give the person the wrong idea about SD's which need to be promoted in the right light. These are the kind of people that need to be educated about SD's. If you give them a polite but straight-forward response, you might kick in some actual interest in learning more (if you have the time at that moment). They may find a need one day for an SD of their own or for a family member.

Those that ask that seem genuinely interested in what an SD can do (like doggiedad did) gets a whole 'nudder style of response, like the lady in the bake shop. She probably would have been happy to talk with you all day long









In either case, the whatever medical condition is, is nobody's business. The word "medical condition" or similar is more than enough, you do not need to provide specifics unless you so choose.


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## bbsgarage (Oct 27, 2008)

You could always say that she is guarding you and they are dangerously close to you.









Or maybe that she is sniffing for drugs and seems to be very interested in whats in your pocket









I think for the most part people simply do not think about what they are saying. They just say it.


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## Catu (Sep 6, 2007)

A) You can wear a T-Shirt

When I had my ferret they were practically unknown and I used to walk him on the park (I'm a geek) I almost, almost made a t-shirt with the saying:

"No, its not a rat"
No, its not a weird cat either"
"No, he doesn't bite"
"He's neutered, so you're not calling me when he has babies"

B) Use reverse psychology, when they ask you about your dog, then answer how ESSENTIAL they are to so many people and how much helpful they are, how expensive is to train one of them and how much they can help with just a small donation to the Foundation. If that doesn't make them fly away, at least you won something anyway.

I know I used it with my SAR Group and a small group of Jehovah Witnesses... I didn't get a donation but they stopped selling me their religion


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## ladylaw203 (May 18, 2001)

http://www.activedogs.com has some pretty nice things for service/assistance dogs


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

I love activedogs.com. 

Amy has great stuff and phenomenal service. I broke the clasp on my year old vest and emailed her about how to get a replacement clasp. (Which I figured I'd then have to bring to a local seamstress). She replied, just send it in; we'll replace it up for you. No charge. 

Great company. I always go there first for all of my service dog, and agility equipment.


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## mjbgsd (Jun 29, 2004)

Even though I'm late in posting here...
I just tell people that Isa is my Psychiatric Service Dog and most people stop right there. I need Isa to help with my mental "attacks" that I get so it's much easier to tell people PSD instead of just saying SD.


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## mjbgsd (Jun 29, 2004)

I also forgot to put down, Isa isn't just my PSD, she also helps me with getting up stairs, balancing, and getting up from a down position. I was born with bad knees and will have to have surgery so she helps me with that. (I'm so tired I forgot to write that down)


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