# Socialization tips for an introvert?



## buttoned_up (Jun 7, 2014)

Hi all, 

My Summer is about 5 months old now. She has had some socialization with close friends and family, but I'm sort of an introvert myself, so I tend to take her to less populated places - the levee or nature trails. She's only had a little socialization with other dogs, because 1) not many of my friends have dogs and 2) the one that does has an overly-energetic, sort of aggressive dog that focuses more on dominating Summer than playing with her  

I'm soliciting tips for better socializing her both with people and dogs because I've noticed that as she gets older, she's starting to act a bit more protective of me (which is good), but I don't want her to be TOO protective. Also, when we're out walking, she sometimes seems skittish of some people, but not with others. Today, she sort of backed away from a mom walking with her little girl who was maybe 5 years old. Usually when she does this, I tell her it's ok, and she wags her tail and is fine, but today, she barked and frightened the little girl. I felt AWFUL. So I'd like to prevent that from happening again. So any advice for boosting her confidence around strangers? 

Thanks! 

P.S. If any of you happen to live in the New Orleans area and have a dog my girl could play with, let's meet up!


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## Msmaria (Mar 2, 2013)

Don't live near New Orleans but some ideas. 
Take her to a training or agility class that is held at a public park or area. 
Join or start a meetup for dogs in your area at meetup.com


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## McWeagle (Apr 23, 2014)

I'm pretty introverted too, and also just got a puppy - he's 3 months now. I have to push myself a bit to get out right now so the puppy gets better socialization.

For people socialization, I went to a couple of local coffee shops downtown (tiny little town, so take "downtown" with a grain of salt! )with outdoor tables for coffee or breakfast. I'd bring a close friend or the hubby along, so I wouldn't have to talk too much to strangers. We'd just sit and let the world go by. Quite a few people need to stop and pet the puppy, and puppy gets to see and hear quite a variety of people, strollers, buggies, bikes, skateboards, vehicles, etc.

We've just started with our dog socialization. We have another dog at home, so that helps, but most of our friends don't have dogs either. Puppy had his 2nd round of shots a couple of weeks ago and the vet gave us the go-ahead to get out (parvo isn't really active here the past few years), so we're doing trail walks right after work when there's a lot of other people out walking their dogs. We're also doing a puppy class. Will seque into an obedience class when the puppy class is over.


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## CroMacster (Oct 23, 2013)

I would also consider myself an introvert and had to force myself to put my dog in new situations. Just realize that socialization for dogs doesn't require direct contact. What the dog really needs is just to see and experience. Taking it lots of places and letting to see lots of things. To have a well behaved dog it's not required that your dog play with other dogs or people.

When I first had my puppy it would go every it could with me. Stores, coffee shops, restaurant patio's, parks, large cities, etc etc. The only real time I took him around other dogs was dog training classes. Even then dog to dog interaction is limited to the puppy level classes. I would go to the dog park, but would just work on training in a corner. All the while the dog is learning that none of this stuff is a real big deal and that you (the human) are awesome and better than everything else.


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## sarahp (May 24, 2014)

I'm going to join the crowd and own up to being an introvert too! I have extreme social anxiety, which doesn't fair well with a new puppy OR being in a college town. I have to admit though that he has helped me come out of my shell a little bit. getting him was the recommendation of a few of my doctors for that exact reason. I had to force myself to go out into the world for the sake of my dog and get him out of the house and playing with other dogs. I would usually bring my boyfriend or roommate with me to restaurants with patios, coffee shops or for a walk around the block so i would have someone to talk to and wouldn't constantly have people walking up to me. It helped a LOT to have someone there with me. There are still people coming up asking to pet him and wanting to ask questions, which i'm okay with, but still makes me uncomfortable. That's where having someone with you helps out a lot and can handle the conversation too so not all the attention falls on you!

He has gotten to the point where he will bark at other dogs and sometimes people who walk past us and i always feel so bad that he might have scared someone. plus the added attention it brings to him and subsequently me as well. I just kind of had to suck it up for my dog and keep reminding myself that it's best for him to go outside the confines of the apartment, where i am comfortable. 

I would absolutely recommend taking someone with you! also, go to a park where there are distractions but off in the distance where you and him are most comfortable while getting at least some outside stimulation. 
Good luck!


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## ZoeD1217 (Feb 7, 2014)

well there sure are quite a few of us in here. I made a post awhile back about socializing your dog when you have social anxiety. I completely dropped the ball with Zoe bc of my own issues. I love her dearly and she is like a best friend to my children but she sucks at meeting new people. We are seeing a trainer now. She barks and lunges I'd we are out walking and she is overly affectionate and screams in excitement to get all over new people in the home. It is so overwhelming.


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## sarahp (May 24, 2014)

ZoeD1217 said:


> It is so overwhelming.


I have to agree with the overwhelming part. there really isnt a good way to go about socializing when you are really introverted. i guess you have to pick the lesser of the two evils. go out and see the world as a puppy and get attention then, which makes us uncomfortable OR end up dealing with a larger dog that gets attention for the wrong reasons. Either way, there will be attention but maybe one is easier to deal with?
There really isn't a good way to go about it in this situation. i'd say do the best you can while maybe stepping outside of your comfort zone at least a little bit. Think about it benefiting your dog and maybe that will make it easier. no one will think different of you if it does get overwhelming and you have to walk away from the situation. Try out different places and bring friends! I found that in some parks, there are very nice people who also love dogs and you will start to make friends which makes it easier to get out and socialize.


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## kiya (May 3, 2010)

I used to take my puppy to the grocery store and walk back and forth on the walkway. Fairs are also a great place to walk with lots of people and other dogs.


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## Pax8 (Apr 8, 2014)

I'll own up too. I'm an introvert as well.  In fact, before I had dogs when I was living on my own I might have bordered on the reclusive. I've had close friends get worried because they wouldn't see me for weeks on end, or there would be times that I would run out of food, but wouldn't leave for a couple extra days because I was so anxious about going to the store. Just to give you an idea.

My dog(s) have been therapeutic for me. It's easier for me to go out with him. I'm still weird about direct contact (talking or interacting directly with a stranger) but a dog doesn't have to socialize directly. So jut going to a coffee shop and hanging out, going to a dog friendly patio, walking along a strip mall, etc are all good things to help with that process. If it helps you, work on some obedience and attention exercises to get your mind off other people and focused on your dog. It may help shift your focus so you aren't as nervous.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

We go to a beach board walk in a very dog friendly community and are constantly stopped with people wanting to pet our pup and talk about their own experiences with dogs, current and past. Having a German Shepherd seems to instantly put you into a family of other GSD owners. Everyone loves to talk about their dogs and if you listen and smile people will walk away thinking your are a very nice person to chat with. 

As far as your dog, it seems that our pups go through phases. They have skittish phases and protective phases and knuckle head phases. It is your job to bring the pup's focus back to you and get clues on what behavior is appropriate in the situation.


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## Freestep (May 1, 2011)

When you can't actually go out and socialize with real people, leave the TV or the radio on for your pup. It really does help, at least with getting accustomed to all kinds of voices and sounds.


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## Ruby'sMom (May 25, 2014)

I'm also an introvert. We go camping at state parks to get Ruby's socialization/training. You'll find dogs of all sizes, kids on bikes, loud music, friendly talkative people, and a few obnoxious drunks. After we get our 'fill' we head home. ? We are actually packing up for the big three day weekend of camping. It's also a great opportunity to trail hike with dogs and people. Also I use a ball on a rope (I call it her binkie ball) to work through her high distractions (small chatty dogs). I'm not too sure how to ween her off of it tho.


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## Moriah (May 20, 2014)

Well, I am very much an introvert, too My shepherd has helped me to get out more to parks and other places because I have him for company. I have a unique situation in that I live on a "dead end" street in a downtown area and I have cedar fencing in back and 4 ft. chain link in front.

It is like a train station in front of my downtown house! I am literally 5 houses from McDonalds, Taco Bell, Subway, and Dominos pizza. My road dead ends into the back side of these fast food restaurants. All manner of people walk, skate board, roller blade, run, bike, etc. right in front of my house all day long and at 11 pm, etc. going to and from. Screaming kids, families, strollers, homeless, teenagers of all types, disabled in electric chairs, etc. 

So as an introvert, it has been wonderful for my boy AND me. I have a fabulous covered porch all across the front of my house so I can sit comfortably while a parade goes by. My guy takes it all in stride.


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## Moriah (May 20, 2014)

Puppy just has to be exposed, not interact. Strip malls, outside grocery stores, parking lots are good places if you find a spot out of the way where pup can watch. It's the interacting that does me in.


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## trcy (Mar 1, 2013)

I'm also an introvert. I took him to a group training class. There was not a lot of talking/socializing I had to do. I focused on my dog, but he got around other dogs and people. We also went to dog club for IPO. He got to be around a variety of GSD's of different ages. 

Other than that, there are the vet trips, the pet store or lowes trips. 

I don't have my dog interact with people or other dogs. I just wanted to make sure he was not reactive around them.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

Sent you a PM.


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## carmspack (Feb 2, 2011)

button up said "Today, she sort of backed away from a mom walking with her little girl who was maybe 5 years old. Usually when she does this, I tell her it's ok,"

keep on moving as if nothing is wrong . Don't tell her it's okay , which may be unintentionally rewarding her , giving your approval , which will lead to promoting an enhanced (unwanted) response "but today, she barked and frightened the little girl."

show her by your actions what you think of meeting an adult and young child on your walk . It is nothing threatening . All good and normal . So keep on walking without telegraphing a reason for hesitation , suspicion , threat .


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

Excellent advise and right on the nose by everyone!!! I can beat all the introverts here, I'm high-functioning autistic. I also live out of town in a quiet rural area with almost no traffic. When raising a young dog, as everyone else did, I made the extra effort to take my dogs out to different places - I never considered it important for them to migle with people (they are outgoing and friendly anyways), but I did consider it important that they get exposed to as many new places and experiences as possible, even if it was just to drive to a residential area for a leash walk. Now they get exposed to people, other dogs, bikes, cars, buses, skate-boards, etc . . . 

Be careful of your own energy - you have to communicate that everyhing is normal, and you are in control. A five month old should NOT have to feel that it is theri job to protect you, and your demeanor and attitude should be clear on that - your pup needs to know that you will protect her, that you will not put her in a situation that is unsafe, and that she can just relax and take in the world. You communicate this by being a stronger leader, having more rules, more expectations, more confidence, more predictability. If she reacts in a fearful way to something, laugh it off, or act like this is the most boring thing in the world - can't even spare a moment of your time being worried or afraid, and neither should Summer.

For about the first year of having my dogs, I would plan on daily/weekly socialization trips: out to the ski hill to watch the skiers and snowboarders, to the riding arean to sit in the bleachers and watch the horses being worked. Walk in to the hockey ring and watch the kids having hockey practice. Walking downtown. Hanging out at the horse-shoe pitch, or the skateboard park, etc . . . It was an effort, but seeing my dogs just watch and decide that all this stuff is normal was well worth it.


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## buttoned_up (Jun 7, 2014)

Wow thanks for all the great responses everyone! I especially appreciate the distinction made between needing to interact and needing to be exposed. I feel a lot better knowing that, as I do make quite an effort to expose Summer to a variety of new places, sounds, environments, etc. I've opted to be very selective in her interactions with other dogs -- I figure having little direct socialization is preferable to having bad socialization experiences. And Carmspack and Castlemaid you are especially right about how I should react when she seems skittish of a person on the street. I think perhaps in my eagerness to make sure she grows up to be a confident dog, I've probably been overthinking it a bit  

I'm glad to know there are so many other introvert GSD lovers out there! This is my first time raising a dog in a major metropolitan area (I grew up in the sticks) and I've found that when I'm out with Summer, people are either REALLY friendly and want to pet her or REALLY rude and either shoot me dirty looks or tell me to keep her away. Of course, neither situation is ideal for an introvert  But we get by and still enjoy our walks and training sessions.


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## lalachka (Aug 13, 2013)

about making things a non event. every time we pass a loud truck or a lawn mower or whatever makes my dog uncomfortable I go back and try working with him around it. 
It's not working, he's still avoiding. 

so making it non event is the way to go? and that will stop them from being uncomfortable?


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## glowingtoadfly (Feb 28, 2014)

Introvert here.


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## lalachka (Aug 13, 2013)

I'm not diagnosed yet but I like being alone.


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