# He won't listen to me!



## Kyla86

I have a 14 month old german shepherd that hardly ever listens to me when my boyfriend is not home. My boyfriend says that the dog has just picked him as the "pack leader" and now views me as only "part of the pack." He obeys my boyfriend very well but when he is not home I could scream at the top of my lungs and still get no response from the dog. We have worked with the dog together but when I am alone with him all the rules just fly out the window! Any ideas on how to get the dog to obey me??? I am desperate!


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## doggiedad

work daily one on one with your dog. work with dog several
times a day.


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## StGeorgeK9

put a leash on the dog when in the house for a bit. If the dog does not obey, merely take up the dog and put him in a sit, down etc.........also, your voice may have something to do with it. I've noticed Ava minds me better than my husband, but I will enforce my comands, and they are comands not requests. My tone of voice I think has a lot to do with it. Also, look into some reward based training. Clicker training is a good one. Dont get frustrated, just give the command, and if the dog doesnt comply, guide the dog into the proper behavior with the leash, then praise........


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## IllinoisNative

I would start feeding the dog. Make him sit before you give him the food. I have my dogs on a sit/stay before feeding. They can't touch their food until I give them the release command. The food comes from me and, as a result, I'm very valuable to them. :laugh:

I would also implement NILIF which is part of having them sit before feeding. You need to create a bond with this dog and he needs to see you as a pack leader, also. That comes with NILIF which creates respect for you. Sounds like you need your boyfriend's support in all this.

I also wouldn't yell at him (not saying you do) because they see you as unstable. They won't follow you. And always be in a position to follow through with a command. Don't tell the dog to come if you can't follow through. That just teaches the dog to ignore you. I would keep a leash on him in the house - even a long line. That way, when you say come, if he chooses not to, you can pick up the leash/line and make him. Clicker training is also good for this.

I make myself the most fun/interesting thing to my dogs ever so that they always come to me because it's fun _*for them!*_

Good luck!


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## MaggieRoseLee

I bet if YOU, not your boyfriend, would join up dog classes, you'd see immediate improvement. Don't let your boyfriend talk you out of going. Many men don't see the point and refuse to learn how to teach their dogs with all the new methods and OUT OF THE HOUSE. Most of our dogs listen pretty well at home, but take them to a new place it's like they lose their minds! 

The newest methods don't use force and don't use LOUD (btw, I'm sure you've realized your dog isn't deaf. He heard you soft. And he heard you loud. He certainly doesn't hear you any better loud cause he's blowing you off there also). 

Only more help if you take over the meals. You start using treats to teach tricks. And you put the dog in the car, go away from the house, and do exercise and socialization trips that 'force' your dog to see you as the leader (unless you LET the leader be him?) in a new place with new sights and new sounds.


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## debbiebrown

just like an adolscent or teenager they have selective eharing, and are testing.......anytime you ask the dog to do something make sure they follow through with your request.........if you ask the dog to sit, and it walks away........try using food to get him to come and sit.......anytime you ask the dog to do something he needs to do it....make him work for his food or toy or anything/ NILIF training has some huge advantages.........


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## Lila

There's a very big difference between "asking" and "commanding". The tone of voice is more important than how loud you say it. A dog responds to sound more than words.

I agree with Maggie. You have to start working with your dog on a one to one basis. You and your boyfriend are all in the "pack" but you happen to be beneath your dog in the pecking order. There are numerous ways to change that as already stated. Don't expect results over night but it will work.


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## StGeorgeK9

I agree Lila, when I mentioned tone of voice earlier, I wasnt implying volume or harshness. As a matter of fact, I've worked with Ava with commands at a whisper. Body language can be a factor as well. I agree with maggie, get in a good class, just you and the little teenager (hehehehe) and see how it improves your relationship.


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## MaggieRoseLee

StGeorgeK9 said:


> ...... get in a good class, just you and the little teenager (hehehehe) and see how it improves your relationship.


That's what great classes do, work with our relationship with our dogs. And then the training and learning really begins! :thumbup:


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## Lila

Totally agree. Betsy. *"I agree Lila, when I mentioned tone of voice earlier, I wasnt implying volume or harshness.* 

And I wasn't implying that you were referring to volume, Betsy. I've read enough of your posts to know that you know what you're talking about and doing.  I've gotten a lot of good guidance from your experience.

Body language is very important. Dogs read "fear', "uncertainty", "joy", "grief" etc. etc. from body language. Most people haven't honed their ability to project what they want the other (dog/person) to perceive or believe but it's very important with dogs in general and GSDs as a breed in particular. They're very good at "reading" people. It can be a good thing and in most cases if used properly it is.

Lila likes to play by taking things that aren't hers and running outside with them. She picked my pocket the other day and took my wallet. I saw her take off out of the corner of my eye. One sharply delivered (stern but soft) "Leave it." and the wallet hit the ground. That would NOT have happened if I used my "playing" voice.


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