# I feel like giving up.



## girlll_face (Jun 9, 2009)

Bella is probably the worst behaved dog in the world, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm such an idiot, what ever made me think I could raise and train a puppy? 








I should have just stuck with cats, obviously. I know cats, and understand cats...why can't I bond like that with Bella? All she does is get into things, chase my cats, ignore me completely outsite, chew on furniture, leash, and whatever else she can possibly get into her mouth, I can't even socialize her because she pukes in the car so we can't even go anywhere or do anything! I'm so frustrated, and disappointed in myself. I feel like curling up into a little ball and sobbing...a lot of good that will do. Bella would just come jump on me and chew on me. What am I supposed to do? I'm sure Bella is sensing my mood, too, which is hardly ever good since she hit 4 months.


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

You need to get training if you haven't already.Then you need to exercise her in what ever spare time you have after that.You also need to do some reading up on dog training and behavior.Lexi and Athena are the first dogs I have owned and I have had my battles with both.I'm getting through it though,I'm working with a trainer on Athena's aggression and continuously work on Lexi to have her totally reliable with housebreaking.It's a lot of work so get going on it.Curling up and crying isn't going to accomplish anything.


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## Lindab (May 14, 2009)

WOW! If I didn't know better I would say I wrote that post! I really think its the age, because Gunny was 5 months on July 5th, and he is doing exactly the same things. And before now, really he was doing ok I thought. I can get him into the car to go places, he does not seem to be car sick. Can you restrain her to one place in the vehicle and cover everthing with plastic, I had a shepherd years and years ago that grew out of her motion sickness at about 8 months old or so. You are not an idiot, I have been reading your posts and you have been doing a great job with her, this is just a difficult time. Keep your chin up!


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

I can commiserate with you - nobody tells you how HARD puppies are do they?







I don't know how much and what kind of training you've done with her, so nothing constructive other than to keep at it and try to have patience, but don't worry about the carsickness. Halo got sick in the car every time we took her someplace, even if if was a few blocks away. I took her out anyway, I carried an extra towel for her crate, and she did finally grow out of it. A little puke is a lot less important than the socialization that she should be getting. 

And if you're not already doing NILIF, start now!


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## KC_Pike (Aug 18, 2008)

Are you attending any puppy classes with Bella?

How much exercise is she getting each day?

Are you doing clicker training?

And hang in there...I think every person raising their first GSD has had moments like this!


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

1. Curl up in a ball and cry
2. Take a deep breath and tell yourself this will work out
3. Puppies are ADORABLE, and funny, but a ton of work

Can you find a training place? I will check to see if any of the GA rescue people known of any in your area if you want. 

Then, take each of those things you listed and separate them. That is overwhelming to look at the whole. I am lucky to be so simple sometimes-my foster puppies were just outside not listening to me, but I forgot all the other things we have trouble on, if I listed it, I would probably put me in a crate, and let them run wild.









So-you want to bond with her, build the relationship you have. That is first. List three things you can do to improve that. 

Then go from there. 

If you like and want to use this system, I bet board members will even help you with each item. 

Make those three things SMART goals-remember that thing? Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. But mostly with a puppy go for attainable and realistic. They don't have a clue. When we don't either, we tend to bump into each other and get snappy. And then it gets tiring and not fun. 

So break things down into something doable for both of you. 

The carsick thing-I know that is rough. I have a foster failure who would literally pass out while riding. Oh wait, he still does! And vomits and drools...so in addition to that nice desensitizing thing that WiscTiger posts about, there is ginger, Happy Travels, Dramamine, one other motion sickness med that I can't remember, and finally if she's old enough (can't remember the age) Cerenia, which worked!









You can do it-she's adorable and has a great name (I have a 7 yo Bella)!


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Just want to add that Dena was an easy puppy, but I remember being in tears with Keefer A LOT! And with Halo doing pretty well at almost 8 months old I can still say there were definitely plenty of moments where I thought that she would be my last puppy ever - I just wasn't sure if I could ever do it again.


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

aweee







don't worry, it will pass! She's a puppy, puppies, like our babies sometimes, can drive us nuts! When I got Lulu it was shortly after I lost my mom to cancer, in fact I got her as sort of a means to help fill that hole in myself. The first week at 3 months she drove me INSANE, getting me up all night, getting the cats, nipping on my daughter, she kept me running ALL DAY LONG and I even got to a point where I said "I can't handle this anymore, I'm going to rehome her!" crying to my husband (who is away all week as a truck driver so that didn't help matters). 

NOW at 5 months old and much much much better trained she is a part of the family and a huge, huge JOY in my life and the fact that I even thought of giving her up makes me ill! Lulu also got sick in the car, in fact, still does even after I tried many techniques shown to me here. I am going to have to just hope she will grow out of it like my daughter did. I take her anyway and clean up after her so maybe her body will get used to it. I just don't take her EVERYWHERE with me, just places where the destination has to do with her, dog park, daycare, etc.

Hang in there, it WILL get much better! Trust me, Lulu is just now getting to be where I can put my guard down and let her have full trusted roam of the house and around my 5 year old without having to watch like a hawk. And I have fallen madly in love with her!


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

Oh, I forgot to add that when I take her in the car I always have a water spray bottle, paper towels and she lays on layers of towels!


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

don't give up!


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## Jason L (Mar 20, 2009)

Play tug with Bella. Bella is chewing on you because she wants to play with you (same with chasing the cats). Next time she gets in a chewy mood, grab a towel, let her bite it, get down on the floor (so you don't look so big to her) and play a "real" game of tug where you win sometimes and then you let Bella wins sometimes. 

Best way to bond with a dog is to play with her. 

As for complelely ignoring you outside ... that's just a pup being a pup.


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## girlll_face (Jun 9, 2009)

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm just so frustrated, because I'm the type of person who just could not ever rehome Bella, and when I feel like our relationship is going to a bad place it really scares me. I LOVE this girl, so much, but I feel so confused all the time. She used to play fetch with me when we were outside, now she just runs after the ball, ignores it, and keeps going. It's like if anything I BORE her. When we're inside, she can't get enough of fetch. Everything else is SO much more interesting than stupid old me. I take her for 2-3 walks/jogs a day, around a mile or two each. If I don't, then she has even more energy to take out on my house. I also play with her in the backyard for a half an hour, and play with her inside for many many hours because she makes me, ha. She's also been harassing my cats, which is another new developement, and having a cat with FHV-1, I really can NOT have that. It endangers Tom's health, even. 
I found Tim's K-9 training, and Windy City Kennels training, in the newspaper today, so I just have to go meet them, and check out their programs. It's just really hard right now, working midnights, I have to sleep during the day...I just feel like I don't have time for anything anymore...except Bella. She's so hyper...I didn't even care what the puppy looked like that I got, all I cared about was a calm, even personality like Athena had, and Bella is SUCH a spaz constantly. She wasn't up until around 3-3 1/2 months, but it just keeps getting worse.

I actually have a smaller kennel I am going to try and put her in for car rides. Tomorrow is my day off so I'm going to attempt to take her to the park, since she just got her Rabies vacc. Wish me luck...I'm also going to take her to those two OB schools. I hope I can accomplish something...anything, tomorrow.


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

We adopted Sammy when he was about 9 months old. Knew nothing about his background. He's now close to 21 months old and still bites at my hands. Not hard, but if I even walk by him, he sometimes still grabs. It's been a long, tough process to break him of some really obsessive compulsive behaviors. We went through a stage where he chased light beams, where he stared at the track lights above my kitchen sink, where he compulsively ate poop, chased his tail, etc. etc. 

There were times where I was also in tears wondering what the heck I had done. But with a lot of patience (and that was a struggle for me because all of my other dogs have been SO easy), we've worked through most of his issues. He still barks at me - just being a brat. The only thing that works at this point is to put him in a down stay. With a young puppy at young as yours, that's hard because they're just learning some of those obedience commands.

He was so good in his obedience classes, but we still haven't tested for the CGC because he's leash aggressive. It's my fault and I know it and we're still working on it. He runs and plays with lots and lots of dogs when we go to the state park. But put him on a leash and he turns into Cujo.

So, with all of that said...many of us can relate. We've been there, done that. Some of us (ME!) are still working on it. And I've had a lot of experience with dogs - and there are days when I feel that I've failed also.

I think Jean's suggestions are great. If you look at it as a whole, it will be overwhelming. Take one issue at a time. Exercise - I can't stress enough what a difference it makes. Not just walking, but running, chasing a ball, playing with another dog - anything to wear them out and stimulate them mentally. With Sammy, swimming is the key to my success. After a good swim, he's a perfect angel (well, almost...).

You'll get through this. Come back here and talk and vent!


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## Jason L (Mar 20, 2009)

Well, I would just add that "fetch" is actually a really hard game for dogs to play correctly and it takes a lot of training to instill the proper fetch behavoir in them. There is a good reason why both Schutzhund and AKC Obedience don't ask for fetch in their beginning trials (BH, Novice).

Ivan Balabanov has a short video where he explains this very well. To a dog, the thrill of a "fetch" game is not in the actually fetching/retrieving but in the chasing and catching of the ball. The young pup brings the ball back to you not because she understands the game but because she is young and does not want to stray from you. And this returning behavoir will disappear as she becomes more confident (as you are discovering). It's perfectly normal. It doesn't mean she likes you less now or that she liked you more before when she was "fetching" perfectly.


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## DorianE (Jan 5, 2009)

Ah I am not alone! Anna is just to much for me to even walk right now, what with my back. I just take her out to the trolly and sit there wtih her and let her run back and forth and back and forth. She barks and chases birds and squirrels from her part of the back yard and then goes and lays in her pool. I dont even try right not to correct her or anything but to sit and down when we are outside. It is just to much stimuli and she dont care what I say. Now when we are in the house and training, I will wait her out. She knows that she is not going to get any attention, not good or bad, until she sits and waits for my commands. I will turn my back and make my kids do the same thing if she is jumping up or not behaving. It is so funny, she will look confused like, why arent they paying attention to me and then all of sudden, she will remember and sit or lay down and then she gets the attention from us. Just keep telling myself she is like a teenager that is trying to figure things out but just seems to come off sounding like a jerk LOL. Good luck, you are not alone.


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

I still can't get Lulu to bring the ball back, she chases it and catches it like you said, but never brings it back (rarely!). My border collie was a natural at it but I'm not sure Lulu will ever want to bring it back!


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Oh I feel for you! They do grow out of it but these puppies are very, very busy. We have an antique oak table with the paw feet that was DH's grandparents that Jax teethed on (that went over so well with DH) so there are a couple of toes missing from a paw and she was a nipper. It really hurt when she got me in the face. They need lots of exercise and attention. I'm a baddddd mom and throw a ball in the house for Jax but it keeps her busy. Now she'll be 2 in November. She's sleeping at my feet as I work some OT at my kitchen table. It's all worth it. You just need to learn to THINK DOG! It's much easier after you understand how they think!


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## Kurys Mom (Oct 11, 2008)

> Quote:Bella is probably the worst behaved dog in the world, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm such an idiot, what ever made me think I could raise and train a puppy?


Bella is not the worst, it just feels that way, you've been doing something right to get her this far,







and none of us 'is the all knowing'!



> Quote:I should have just stuck with cats, obviously. I know cats, and understand cats...why can't I bond like that with Bella?


I'm so a cat person myself, and because you are that way with cats you can and will be able to figure out how to bond with Bella. Look at her in the same way, no one cat is ever the same, in fact they are less alike then most dogs, less forgiving too. Feral's, are you familiar with any of them? If you are they are the biggest challenge of all, and when it happens between a Feral and you, all I can say is Wow! Look at Bella the same if you can.

You are also about to turn the corner with Bella, once the teething stops, there minds seem to click on and their mouths start staying shut, lol My experience anyway









My helly on wheels here is 18 weeks old and just turned a very big corner. He stopped chewing on us constantly, and he is 75% better with the cats. Up until a few weeks ago, his life with me was questionable. That's hard to even say now, but I will say it to you. I'm a never give up person, ever but this boy has been hard to live with. Most of it has been me. Yes, me. One day I just decided to let him into my heart, so to speak and I apologized for keeping him at bay. Did a mini evaluation of what his needs were and how I was not meeting them. From that day forward our relationship has changed dramatically.

Everyone here has given you great advice, people here are so good at coming up with ways that help and sharing their own experiences. Use what you can.

Do you use a crate? If not, get one. Give her and yourself a time out. Exercise her, and that means a half hour of non-stop, fetching a ball, chasing a stick, running after you, run through some sit, down, sit, down, routines (doggie push-ups) Teach her something new! Do this at least twice per day. She is so young, she will nap after that, if not crate time. Raw meaty bones in her crate will give her an hour of contentment and also tire her. A filled Kong works great too. My pups seem to always act up when over tired and become more mouthy and out of control. They will just not lay down on their own always and sleep.

Ty has been to and finished Puppy Kindergarten weeks ago, he is now enrolled and began his next phase of training. He is a little young in my mind but I took Küry and Ty is really smart too, he needs to go. Ty goes to doggie daycare at least once a week, more if we can afford it or he needs to. They need to be busy but not so busy that you turn them in to an athelete because with that comes endurance and expectations....not good unless thats what you desire. Not me and I bet not you







)

None of mine vomit in the car. Can you get or give a dog something for that? 

Hope something I've said will help you.







They do grow up, really they do. It will all be a distant memory one day and you will be certain that you can raise a puppy because you did! If this helps, many here know exactly how you are feeling, been there done that. I look at it kind of like child birth, lol there is a reason why we don't have vivid memories of it, no one would ever do it again!! Your Bella is a beautiful girl, she needs you to guide her and help her learn to control herself. You can do this!!







I'm cheering for ya.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

She is just five months old, what a great age. 

Car sickness, I can relate, Frodo barfed in the car everywhere I took him for quite a while. All the rest of mine are pretty good, Rushie barfed on the trip home but that was a long trip about 1 hour, and he hasn't barfed in the car since. None of the rest of my lot have ever barfed from car sickness. 

That first trip with Frodo and every one afterwards was tramatic which added to his problem. I did not have room for a crate in the camaro I had. So he was not crated. I knew what I was going to have to clean up, and well, I wasn't exactly happy about it. Car rides were not a source of fun and games for him or me. 

Your pup may get car sick because she is not used to the motion and will overcome it rather quickly, or as in Frodo's case, it will become emotional as well as physical, and then you need to desensitize them to the car and then riding in the car. 

Hopefully your pup is just having the normal puppy form. What you can do is before you feed the pup in the morning, Take it out and let it potty, hopefully pee and poo. Then put it in a crate in your car and drive it around the block, or if you live in the country, two minutes down the road, and two minutes back. Go and get the puppy out, praise and treat, even if it did barf. If it barfed at that much, I would go no further until it seems to be ok with that distance. Again, your are doing this on an empty stomach so that makes a difference. 

If the pup managed that distance, then go a little further. At first avoid lots of stops and starts and turns. Try to make it a smooth trip as possible. Once he is good with that increase a little further until you can drive him to the nearest shopping center. 

Socialization requires treats. If the nearest shopping center is more than 5 minutes away, then I would suggest stopping on the way home and getting the pup out and resting with him before coming all the way back. Especially if that is the first time he has ridden for a while with food in him. 

An alternative is after he seems to go for five or ten minutes without an issue. The next day wait until after breakfast. Go about your morning routine, letting the pup out, etc. Then after the pup has had an hour and a half after finishing eating, take him out to potty and then put him in the crate. Go around the block. If he is ok, praise and treat and wait until tomorrow. 

If the crate is the airline variety, then you can whipe it out or hose it out, and it is not a big deal. If it is a wire crate, it kind of depends.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Sigh. What you have is one heck of a terrific pup. The demon dogs, the ones that are so bloody difficult - all at once they will get the program (ie you will finally figure out how to communicate) and you will have an outstanding dog. 

That annoying behavior? That's designed to cheer you up. Ignoring you? That's to calm you down (or else a comment that you have to be more interesting -- what kinda treat do you offer anyway lady?







) 

The not coming back with the ball outside? Try a rousing (and learn how to make it rousing) game of two hoses (see Godfried Deldei for that). Another thought, tether her outside while you go on about some business of yours, ignore her for a while. (Y ou'll see a big change.) To make it rousing, don't do it first thing - wait till the other stuff gets boring then try a long line to remind Bella of her target (ball back to YOU!) Instead of waiting for her to come back once she's near the ball, turn around, run like **** the other direction yelling and shouting. If you stumble and fall that's all the more interesting - roll on the ground cursing? Whoa! It couldn't get any better!
Try to retrieve your sense of humor. It's lying around there somewhere...








Good luck! Have fun! Provide an escape for your cats and then try to ignore her when she harasses them. (Bet kitties know a thing or two to teach Bella.)


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Oh yeah, fetch-my Bella took I think 3 years to learn! She watched another dog and was like OHHHH! That's why she keeps throwing things at me!









Hey-I see you work midnights. That makes a huge difference mentally. We were just at a worksite, and one guy was able to change shifts (they don't move them around like some places do-which I think is even worse), and he had some real improvements in his health. If you don't have a weird circadian sleep pattern, it is as unsettling as it is for a night person to have to get up and go to a MEETING AT 7:30 AM TOMORROW!!!!! Whoops.
















Anyway, it could be part of why you are a little more weepy/frustrated then usual. And dogs pick up on that energy for sure. Which is not her being hyper, it's her nerving up a bit on your wiredness. Which we all do, except for those really calm people I'd like to trade places with for one day.









In addition to those little lists, come up with one of fun things you've done each day, or times she's made you laugh. Rocco just bravely approached the dishwasher, then saw a handsome puppy in the reflection and had to get closer just to see all that cuteness better! Made me laugh, I sort of forgot him biting my face and shirt earlier. Sort of...


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## aubie (Dec 22, 2008)

Just another thought, how much OB/mental stimulation are you giving at home? Mental stimulation not only tires them out, but to me, it helps the owner/dog bond--when they "get" something or learn a new trick your excitement is just as big a deal as the treat.

Work on something a little different than just sit, lay, etc. Do something like "place" or "go to your mat" (this will also help give you a break when she learns it, you can send her to the mat while you breathe!)

Also try expanding her vocab by teaching her the names of all her different toys...let her learn that when you say "bring froggie" she brings froggie, etc. Then you can try different hide/find games once she gets the names of her toys down.

For the chewing, I hate to tell ya, she's entering the teething stage...find something she loves to chew on and stock up! 

Hang in there!


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

Jean, that is why I had such a hard time in the beginning, a little different but same idea. I was emotionally and mentally drained after home hospicing my mom for a year and then her death, I got Lulu soon after as I have always wanted a GSD since I was a child but at some points the first few weeks thought "what was I thinking?" as I felt I didn't have the energy she needed or that I needed to train her properly. But day by day, she got a little closer to my heart and every day I have been working with her and waking up to her happy little face and my husband says on the weekends when he is home "where's mommy?" and she RUNS right to me and kisses me





















and now she is a literal GODSEND and sometimes I think mom sent her to me to help me be happier! 

Devin, the drain of being exhausted, working midnights (I once did that shift, it's tough when you have to be up in the day!) does take it's toll, but I believe that Bella will adjust to your hours as dogs do and eventually your frustration will turn to joy of being able to come home and see her and her you! She will become your best friend and companion I am sure of it, the puppy daze don't last forever


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

> Originally Posted By: aubieJust another thought, how much OB/mental stimulation are you giving at home? Mental stimulation not only tires them out, but to me, it helps the owner/dog bond--when they "get" something or learn a new trick your excitement is just as big a deal as the treat.


Aubie, one thing I did with my border collie since I got her, and do with Lulu as well is talk to them like they are a person, constantly, just as if I was talking to my daughter or a human. My border was the smartest by far dog I have ever had but Lulu is just about there as well. I am not sure it helps but I am noticing that just like Shadow (my border for 14 years) she is starting to understand a lot of what I say. For instance, when I would take her out I would talk to her and say "are you done? okay, let's go back in the house" not as a command but more as a comment, now I say "go in the house" and she stops whatever she is doing and runs in the house!


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## aubie (Dec 22, 2008)

Talking to them does help...I talk to my pets constantly. I think it also helps them be able to discern my moods by my tone. They know my "talking" tone, playing tone, cuddle time tone and "you better back off mommy" tone!









Maybe if you could, give her a day of puppy daycare and give yourself a break for a day? Just this last Friday the cats and dogs were driving me crazy and I was like finally ENOUGH! I'm going shopping! and went out for the day.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Ok, the next thing to do is to take Bella to puppy classes. She needs to be socialized with people and dogs and this will increase her confidence in you and you will look more like a leader to her. 

Make sure that this is fun. Treats are used to get the pup in position. Praise. No corrections. Puppies have the attention span of a flea unless they are chewing on your slippers. I do not think that it takes attention to chew on slippers. I think that the jaws just go on autopilate. Whatever. The class should not expect your dog to stay on task for long periods. It should be geared to puppies, with lots of treats, lots of praise, and only a few repetitions before trying something new. Also, there is no reason for your dog to hold a 1 minute stay and a 3 minute down at this point. If you can get the dog to sit, and then stay for a few seconds, great praise. Perfection and distance, and time will come, right now she needs to see other people, dogs, and needs to know that training means treats and praise. Later you will phase out the treats, but for now, treats are good. 

*************************************************

Management:

Think about quality not quantity. Set up a "Safe Place" for your puppy. Hopefully, near the activity of the household. It is best for it to be a tiled room, like a kitchen or laundry room. Door to be left open and just baby gated away from the rest of the home. 

If the whole room cannot be puppy proofed -- nothing in there that can hurt him, and nothing that he can hurt, then set up an x-pen. If the pup no longer soils inside, then a cushy bed may be a good choice. If she is not yet ready for this, or if she is likely to chew it up, put a dog cot in there. Put safe chew items in there. Make it comfortable as well as safe. Water is optional. This is just somewhere your dog will be when you cannot be devoted to supervising it. 

Every hour or so, you will have to let him potty, give him access to the water dish, and do something with him. When you are getting the stuffed peppers in the oven, she is in her safe place. You can use a crate for this, but I think that giving them a little more room, once they are pretty well potty trained is helpful, especially when training them what they cannot chew, etc. 

When you are with the dog, you have one eye on the dog even if you are doing something unrelated. She has toys and chewies to play with. If she goes after something inappropriate, then Ah, and redirect. Eh, Mine. works too. Then put it up. I then move on to "That's not yours, Mine." when they are a little older. This is said without frustration or anger, and a redirection. 

You want your puppy to have complete confidence in you and see you as a leader. Leaders do not fly off the handle. That makes the puppy afraid. Leaders are calm, confident, and consistent. That is you. That has to be you from now on. 

Practice. 

If puppies weren't so darn cute, no one would go with them with a pole. They are work. They may not like to snuggle, they may pick your spouse as their favorite person, they may not get the hang of pottying outside, they may not be naturally clean, they may be very mouthy.  If you remain calm, consistent, and confident, your puppy will become a calm, confident dog. It may still like your spouse better. It may be more of an agility dog than an obedience dog or vice versa. While you are going through the process of training, and socialization, you will create a bond with your dog that will help you understand what her personality tends toward.


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## thegreatescapex0 (May 17, 2009)

I felt the SAME EXACT WAY... Just like totally giving up, even considering selling my puppy when he hit that stage. Sometimes I really would cry out of pure exhaustion and frustration! I had NO IDEA what I was getting into, because my puppy was just too smart for his own good!

My Liam is 5 months old now, and he is definitely improved by a milestone. I think 3-4 months was the absolute worst and hardest time I had with him, it's a stage where they do not know what is wrong and right, so I tried to train Liam to understand what NO ment.

Everytime he chewed on the furniture, on my little brother, got into the garbage, or anything bad, I would get hold of his mouth and sternly say NO, and gently push him away from the disaster scene or closed him in his cage. 

Once he knew what NO ment, he began to understand when he was doing something he shouldn't be doing.

Now he is 5 months and my dad calls it the 'teenager stage'. He acts all fresh and pretends he doesnt hear me, and I know that he knows when he is doing something wrong, because as soon as he sees that I see him in the act, his ears go down and he immediately evacuates from the crime zone ahahha

Yeah I felt like totally GIVING UP on him, but I became so attached that I think I wouldn't bear it.. Just hold on, give it some time and take a few relaxing breathes when your little monster misbehaves, it will fade off soon if you keep directing him with the simple NO and clamping his mouth shut.

You may think that the clamping his mouth doesn't work at first, but it will wear into him because they hate it when you close their mouths.


Overall, TIME! is the most important thing, I promise you it will fade away. (I went through the same exact thing just a month ago)


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

Aubie, 

Just last week I found her a doggy day care I like and put her in there instead of leaving her home when I took my daughter swimming. She slept the rest of the day and night after 3 hours there LOL I do plan to take her back often instead of leaving her at home when I need to go out for the day! It's only $10 for 4 hours so not so bad! Oh, question about ears... I think they think I am nuts because I told them to make sure no dogs chew on her ears as the cartlarige (sp?) is tender since she is a pup. A guy in the vet's waiting room who bred GSD's told me that, is there truth to this?


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

> Quote:


Everytime he chewed on the furniture, on my little brother, got into the garbage, or anything bad, I would get hold of his mouth and sternly say NO, and gently push him away from the disaster scene or closed him in his cage. 

Once he knew what NO ment, he began to understand when he was doing something he shouldn't be doing.

Now he is 5 months and my dad calls it the 'teenager stage'. He acts all fresh and pretends he doesnt hear me, and I know that he knows when he is doing something wrong, because as soon as he sees that I see him in the act, his ears go down and he immediately evacuates from the crime zone ahahha

Yeah I felt like totally GIVING UP on him, but I became so attached that I think I wouldn't bear it.. Just hold on, give it some time and take a few relaxing breathes when your little monster misbehaves, it will fade off soon if you keep directing him with the simple NO and clamping his mouth shut.

You may think that the clamping his mouth doesn't work at first, but it will wear into him because they hate it when you close their mouths.


> Quote:


I am sorry, but I would not follow this advice. I would not punish a dog by putting it in a crate. I do not "clamp dogs mouths shut." And by the time most dogs get to basic obedience classes, the instructors tell you to abandon the word "No" because the dog has heard it so much that they tune it out. Also it is often used with some sort of abuse and causes the dog to fear. 

What you need to remember is that dogs live in the now. They do not remember that last Tuesday they got hit with a newspaper because they chewed up the toilet paper roll. What they remember is that when you have the angry stance, or the angry smell, when you are not happy, bad things happen. The lowered ears have nothing to do with guilt, not anything. It is fear. He associates when you walk into a room with you being angry at him and putting him in his crate, yelling at him, or clamping his mouth. 

I would do none of this. Keep him in his safe place when you cannot supervise. When he is out of his safe place, use a slight eh, and redirect when the teeth go onto something they should now. 

I have raised many GSD puppies, some of them two and three at a time. I went this route -- clamping the mouth shut, strong No's, punishing with isolation -- with my first. I ruined him and he ended up being put down, long story and there was more to it than simple aggression, but I have raised ten shepherd puppies since then and all of them listen to me and respect me, none of them are fearful of me.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I have to figure out how to use those quote things.


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## elisabeth_00117 (May 17, 2009)

I know this has more than likely already been said, but - HANG IN THERE!

You are NOT alone!

There are alot of us tired, fustrated, annoyed, overwhelmed, did I mention exhausted new puppy owners out there feeling everything you are feeling and experiencing what you are experiencing!

Take the advice from those who have gone through this already, on this board, other dog owners and breeders, etc.

This is MY first puppy, as my older girl is our family dog (I am a student who has been on my own for about 4 years now) so I never really "raised" her, my parents did. So I know what you are feeling!

HANG IN THERE, and know we are hear to listen!


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

> Originally Posted By: selzerI have to figure out how to use those quote things.


You can use the Quote or Quick Quote feature and just delete everything you don't want, or at the beginning of what you want put: [ quote] and at the end [ /quote], but remove the spaces that I added so the code would show.


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## girlll_face (Jun 9, 2009)

Selzer,
I'm on the same page with you there. I have never, and will never use Bella's crate as a punishment. I wanted her crate to be viewed as a good thing, and now she walks into it herself every night. I don't even have to take her to it, I just point to it, say crate, and in she goes. It's like her 'bedroom', her space to feel safe and comfortable. 
Luckily, Bella was very easy to potty train. She hasn't had an accident in almost two months...she only had a few accidents in the first couple of weeks, and now she's very good in that department. I just took her out once and hour, praised and treats when she finally would go, and it was a breeze. And to think, that's what I was most worried about when I decided to adopt a puppy. 
She's definitely teething right now. She has two adult buck-teeth in the middle, and is missing or has baby teeth everywhere else. She looks so goofy! Also, her ears went back down.
This was from 1-2 weeks ago;








And this from tonight;








I'm hoping her behavior has a lot to do with the teething. 

Kuri's mom, 
If I knew Bella, like I knew my cats...this wouldn't be happening. And cats are all different personalities...my three couldn't be more different from one another. Tom is the angel, Nico is the devil dog cat, and Shai was actually feral when I adopted her. I've worked with cats so much, and have had so many, that I can deal sucessfully with all types of feline personalities. The ferals are a total challenge...Nico was a feral when I got him, but only 2 days old, so we bonded A LOT through bottlefeeding him. 
I think that may be another thing. I'm almost programmed to deal with cat issues, and know how to correct bad cat behavior, and it's NOTHING like training a puppy. It's very new territory for me, and I am so not used to all of this. 

Thanks everyone, there's a lot of great advice here for me to try out. I do need to always remember she's a baby, and needs to learn with patience on my part...it is hard, I barely get any sleep, and work all night...then I force myself to get up after 4-5 hours so Bella doesn't have to be in her crate all day. I shouldn't have said the worst behaving dog ever...that was harsh, but I really did have tears welling up in my eyes at that moment. I just want Bella to be my best friend, not feel like she's all work and no play for me...even though we play, literally constantly to the point where I can't stand it, haha. Unless she's napping, I'm always throwing stuff, or tugging with her. I also use tiny pieces of treats and do sit, stay, paw, lay down, speak, come, with her for usually an hour or so. She does WONDERFUL with all of it, when we're inside. She'll stay until I say release...I usually only do about 30 seconds or less, but I think she'd do it a lot longer. I don't want her to get bored, though. My cats can go upstairs to escape Bella, but eventually they always come back down to see me, and get jumped on/chased in the process. Bella's even nipped them a few times recently.
After I redirect her and tell her leave it, she'll come back to me for a few minutes, and then sneak off to bug them again! 
No matter how tired I am after work, and no matter how bad Bella was being before I left, I hurry up to get home to see her. I love her so much, and I'd do anything for her, I just need to learn what that is.
Thanks everyone for the advice. Tomorrow we'll see how it goes on the drive to the park.


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## girlll_face (Jun 9, 2009)

Here's a few more pics of Bella from tonight. You can see how big she has gotten, because she's taller than my couch cushions.
Notice the mishievious sparkle in those eyes??!


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Ears should be fine, they go up and down when teething. Usually if they were up, they will go back up. 

Bella looks like a sweet, fun puppy. 

Good luck at the park. 

Puppyhood is the hard time, it will not always be so much time or energy. I figure I lose one treasured possession with each puppy. Let's see, Rushie, who was the best puppy ever, waited for me to borrow a book from my dad and then got it and chewed it into little pieces. I had to find a replacement on the internet for him. 

Arwen did not like crates. When crated she managed to chew my carpet in my bedroom, my dust ruffle, a flat sheet, and a fitted sheet -- not matching. Out of her crate she never chewed anything that was not hers. 

Babs, Jenna, and Cujo worked together on the couch I got from my Grandmother's estate. That was before Cujo went to my parents. 

Whitney has eaten a Precision Dog house and countless cots. 

Heidi and Tori have been pretty good, but the knobs on my desk drawers are missing, and teeth marks like finger prints remain. 

And then there are Ninja and Milla, slipper fiends. They have also eaten a couple of cots and the roof off a dog house. Finally I separated them and they have settled down quite a bit. Milla, though, will never be "safe" around a slipper again. So far she has eaten three left slippers. So if she is in the bedroom at night, my slippers must be locked in the bathroom. 

In all, when you add it all up, the hair, the training, the couches, the slippers, we still have the better deal.


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## DorianE (Jan 5, 2009)

Even though I didnt start this thread, thank you to everyone that has offered advice. I have taken a lot of ideas from this and will use them with Anna. I too had just gotten to the point that with the broken back, I was afraid I had bitten off more then I could chew with this very sweet and loving yet frustrating four legged child of mine.

My biggest problem with Anna is the pulling still and she will sit when told to sit and then as you bend over to put her leash on she head buts ya. OUCH! I dont have a fenced yard so the only time she gets any away time from the leash is when she is supervised on the trolley. 

I think I got a new reprive today after I posted. When Anna got out about a month ago, our neighbor caught her and put her in his back yard till he could get her back down to us. We were out looking for her when he came to the house. Long and short of it, he stopped by to see my escapee and had his lab/pbt/great pyranese mix with him. Apparently when Anna was on the lamb, these two decided to destroy a 10 foot flower bed wrestling around. Harley is a year old and Anna is 6 months old and they are going to be going on dates each and every week! They have a 6 foot privacy fence and also have offered to "baby sit" any time I might need to run errands or whatever. Tonight the two tried to attack the fish in the bottom of the pool LOL! 

In the end, Anna is my girl and I LOOOOOOOVE her so much, what is one more teenager when we have 5 kids between myself and my husband, two of which still live at home and are 15 and 17. I keep thinking, it could be worse. 

My brother and his second wife have 8 kids between the two of them, one boy 14, one set of 13 year old twins (girls) and another 13 year old girl one week younger, two 11 year olds, and 2 almost 10 year olds. If you lost track, 8 kids between 10 and 14! I LOVE MY OUT OF CONTROL ANNA LOL!


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

There should be a law that training facilities can not legally just sell one puppy class separately. They should have to sell you a year's worth of obedience classes.

If I had a dollar for every person I have met (or has said in here) "But we took puppy classes, and she did great..." I'd be able to go out to a very nice dinner very frequently. Folks are shocked that their pups who did so well in puppy class turn 5 months old and become wild hellions. Well, yeah. At about 5 months old, puppies become independent. They realize they can do things on their own. They're tired of being told "no." And on top of it all, they're usually teething. That sweet pup has disappeared; the owner is overwhelmed. Four out of 10 puppies won't finish their first year in the home they started in. 

Puppy classes are NOT obedience classes. They teach a few little skills, but mostly, they help you socialize your pup. They are the START, not the end, of the dog's training. 

I think of obedience classes as MANNERS classes. All of my dog have opinions about what they should be doing. They don't "obey" me. They "comply" with my requests because we've built up a good relationship and they've learned manners. How to build up a relationship with a dog? Working together. You can't bribe a dog, sweet talk a dog or give him a car and get him to like AND RESPECT you. Working together it the only thing I know that builds that sort of relationship.

So my kids take obedience classes from the week they arrive at my house until approximately their 3rd birthday. If they just finished intermediate obedience but advanced isn't being offered right away, then we'll repeat intermediate or take a class at another training school. 

When you continue to take classes, you have a trainer that is available to answer questions and problem -solve; you have other owners to discuss issues with, and you have a rolling deadline to achieve small goals. In other words, you're always working your dog, and you have to be consistent. And there is, imo, no more important of a work in dog ownership than "consistency."









So my advice would be to take classes. Take a lot of classes. If you can't get into one now, take a couple privates til you can.


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## Rhena (Jan 30, 2009)

I cannot count the number of times I thought something like, "OMG, I'm going to spend the rest of my life defending my shoes from Juno," or "I'm going to spend the rest of my life with tiny puppy teeth welts all over my hands and arms,'" or "I'm going to spend the rest of my life keeping food off the kitchen counters and telling her 'no' every time she jumps up." ... or that'd I'd forever be getting my arm yanked out of my socket when she sees a squirrel on a walk or walking back and forth to and from the car when we get to the dog park because she won't stop pulling on the leash or trying to get her to drop socks or my husband's boxers after she's pulled them out of the laundry.

It seems a virtual miracle that almost as soon as the visions of me chasing around, scolding, correcting this puppy for the rest of my life entered my head, she was "over it."

But it wasn't a miracle - each of those things took a TON of work and, frankly, more patience than I thought I had! We're now in our fourth OB class (Kindergarten, I, II, and now "advanced) and now that she's 8+ months, we're FINALLY getting to know each other well enough that we're hitting a comfortable place with each other. It takes time to figure out what will work for you and for your pup. But, yes, it is a process that can be full of incredible frustration. (Was that really me who came back from a walk with her on a freezing cold day in January almost of the verge of tears because she was so "naughty?")

There are STILL tons of concerns and frustrations I have ("will I ever be able to take a walk with her without scanning the street for approaching dogs?") but now that I can look back at all the hurdles we've made it over, I'm much more confident that we'll be fine....

(Easy to say when she's stretched out on the floor next to me sound asleep!)


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## AK GSD (Feb 27, 2008)

How are you doing today? Did you get some rest? Patience and a sense of humor are required with puppies and when you are tired, both can be in short supply.


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

> Originally Posted By: My Baby BellaI can't even socialize her because she pukes in the car so we can't even go anywhere or do anything!


Tanner was horribly carsick for the first few months that I owned him as well. It certainly makes you hesitate to go anywhere, that is for sure.

Try putting her crate in different locations in the car and see if that helps. Tanner had it harder when he was in the far back cargo space. I moved his crate up into the back seat area, with the seats laid down, and he did much better. And he did eventually grow out of it all together. Just don't give up on going places with her! Keep a pack of handi-wipes in the car for quick clean up when you get where you're going.

Train, train, train. When I adopt out a foster into a new home, I always make it part of the contract that the new owner get into a class within a month of the adoption. Even when the dog is already well trained. There is nothing like training to create a strong bond. I can't stress enough how important the training is. Get into a good group class. Having other people in there helps motivate you, and it is a great way to make doggy friends. 

Work with her. And when you think you have a handle on it, work even harder. She is a puppy and they require a ton of work. You are not an idiot and you can so do this! 
Sheilah


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## GSDinOly (Apr 19, 2009)

Oh your not an idiot or a failure! Never! Brigitte has her moments, we are about to start teething, I'm going to ask about that actually in another thread. But they are hard....headed! Showing independence and strength. Briggs is almost at 4 months already. I revamped everything.....took it up a notch. More NILIF, more everything. I have so wanted to cry sometimes, her bad days are just terrible. I changed things to add more things to NILIF and also saying things once and backing them up. No three strikes your out, (which I was doing, and my best friend pointed this out to me.) Duh I thought..my friend was right, how stupid of me. She gets more training now, and more physical excersice. It is working out good. She is good with the kitties, but with Bella make it not an option ever. I never made the kitties an option. Stand firm as the leader of your household, and it will work out for you all. Brigitte knows my words, my voice tones, but she also knows my body language. I can't write much as everyone gave awesome advice already. But mostly, they are tough little cookies, and yes it is very frustrating at times, Briggs is not exempt, and maybe doggie day care will help you relax and regroup....and get the rest you need so bad right now. When I'm tired and frustrated she knows it. It makes it worse. So if I need a break, I find it by going to my sister in laws to play with her dogs, or hubby takes her out to play and run. If I didn't have that, I'd do the day care once a week no doubt because she will mentally exhaust me. On a lighter note, I always think of her good days, because she is truly a very well mannered and well behaved little girl and that just helps me to relax and know it is all because she is just a growing puppy, and I better enjoy it because it doesn't last forever







Hope things get better for you soon!


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## meisha98 (Aug 27, 2008)

Been there- put a deposit on Lainey a couple of days after I lost my mom. As if we didn't have enough to deal with losing our moms. I really wondered for a while if I was temporarily insane when I decided to get a pup. Those "what was I thinking moments" have become "thank goodness I did this" moments as she has gone through and completed all these puppy stages. She is a hale and hearty 8 month old now full of confidence as she romps with Booker doing laps around the yard together. I'm proud I stuck it out because the results are life long and like no other reward on earth. Hang in there and vent anytime- just doing that sometimes is all you need.


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## Tbarrios333 (May 31, 2009)

Thank god for all the advice on this post, and for creating it as well!!
Denali has exhausted me mentally. I can totally relate to where you're coming from! She's going to be 4 months soon and I can just see the confidence and independence come right out.
I've gotten to the point (right now) where I just need a break and need to breath and remind myself that it's only temporary. She'll grow out of it if I'm fair and consistent. 
Lack of rest from last night has just made me lose my temper and it's not helping things at all. And since I've lost my temper, I feel guilty as well. Gah!!


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

> Originally Posted By: My Baby Bella ....
> If I knew Bella, like I knew my cats...this wouldn't be happening. .....


Oh yeah? Don't bet on it!







seriously, don't count on it. If you do the next one will be even more of a pistol! (voice of experience here. I knew dogs well & then there was Barker the Elder!)


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## girlll_face (Jun 9, 2009)

Thanks a lot, guys, I thought I have having a nervous breakdown or something. Bella has really improved significantly in the last 12 days. She's behaved so well, even on our walks she's paying more attention to me. We're doing long leash 'come' training, OUTSIDE!! Taking her to play with my friend's husky pup showed me just how lucky I am with Bella. She's a very good puppy, and I have faith that it's only going to get better. Sure there will be hard times...as with any family member, but she's well worth all this hard work, and all this love and attention. BTW, she didn't puke on the ride to or from my friends house about 10-15 minutes away! I let her ride on the passenger seat, and made her lay down and gave her treats every few minutes, and she did so great. She didn't even try to get on my seat with me, which is what I was scared of!!!


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Hey, this is great news! Glad things are looking up. A seat belt would insure that Bella stayed off your lap although if your vehicle is airbag equipped, you'll want to the seatbelt in the back seat.


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## girlll_face (Jun 9, 2009)

Tonight, she was so, so, so good. Just, so sweet and well-behaved. She even nuzzled her brother instead of jumping on him!!! I know, it's not very safe letting her hang out on the front seat. I just take back roads at 25 mph to get to Jenn's house, but if we were on a main road I'd be too paranoid. I want to get those things that hook to the seat, like a short leash, I don't know where to find them or even what they're called though.


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## MaggieRoseLee (Aug 17, 2001)

What you want to get is a dogseat belt. All the ones I've seen at petstores are crap and not worth the money. The features you need to look for to keep your dog safe can be found on this site (click here) 

And the one I've found easiest to use is the Champion (click here)


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