# Delicate Situation-Need Advice



## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

My vet referred an older gentleman to me who is in the last stages of Kidney and Liver cancer because he has 4 German Shepherds (ages 8,4,7,and 2) that he is trying to make arrangements for. I went to meet him today and even though he is really ill,he manages to get up and care for his dogs every day. The dogs are extremely well behaved and this man certainly hasn't spared any expense as far as care goes. In our conversation I mentioned to him that I don't think I would be able to find a family who would willingly take all 4,and while he didn't like that idea he seemed to understand.

Ok so here's the problem:

I just got a call from him a couple of hours ago,and he was basically pleading for me to keep these dogs together. He even offered to make a sizable donation if I could promise to keep them together. I had to be honest and tell him that It's not likely that all of the will go the same home. 
This man hasn't been rude,but I still don't think he understands how hard it is to place 4 dogs together; even fully vetted,fully trained dogs like his. I don't want to be insensitive,but I have to be honest with him.

I did have the 'pleasure' of meeting his grown kids when they stopped by,and I can see that they won't be any help. They are under the impression that he should just take the dogs to the shelter 'somebody will take em'.


----------



## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

Such a sad situation I know its not reasonable to think that all four would go together, but it might happen. I would be one that could not separate them and I would take all four. If I had my house(I'm looking at a farm right now, but its been up for sale for a year and they want cash, no loans available) I would have the guy ship them all to me--no questions asked. I would not be in the market for another dog for several years I would explain to him that you will try your hardest, maybe compromise and do two in each home if possible?? I know two isn't that easy either, but its better then 4.


----------



## GsdLoverr729 (Jun 20, 2010)

I agree with Llom. Maybe see if he would agree to them going to seperate homes, if they still get to see each other every so often (playdates)? It's a stretch as well, but it's not much to ask for the new owners to let the dogs play. 
On the other hand, you MIGHT luck out and adopt them all out to the same home. It is very unlikely, but isn't impossible. 

I admire this man for his love of his dogs... Poor guy  Shame on his kids!!!


----------



## KatsMuse (Jun 5, 2012)

That's so sad. 
One of my biggest fears is that my dogs would either outlive me or I would become so ill that I'd have to rehome them..


----------



## guatemama07 (Nov 28, 2011)

Wow. I don't have any great words of wisdom but just wanted to say I admire your honesty and your efforts to help this man. I hope a situation comes up that he can be at peace with.


----------



## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

When I first met him,I told him that I probably would be able to place two of his dogs with a family who has been on a waiting list for two adult dogs preferably from the same household. Of course I won't know for sure until they meet with the dogs. This man has been way more understanding and willing to help his dogs with the transition,than most people who are healthy and just want the dogs 'gone'.In talking to him I could really see and feel his love for his dogs. I've been honest and upfront with him about _trying to find a home for all four,but not being able to guarantee it._ I'm just trying to remain sensitive to him as well.


----------



## rooandtree (May 13, 2012)

you maybe surprised...let people know the situation...someone somewhere may understand and make room for all 4..had a similar situation in my rescue once..and it really surprises(upsets) me when the family wont help knowing the owner has such love for their pets..i know if it was my fathers dogs i would make it work someway or another to keep his dogs....would be nice if someone took two and that person had a neighbor or family memeber willing to take the other 2 so they could stay together


----------



## zyppi (Jun 2, 2006)

Great job tou are doing! 

Honesty is best.

I'm sure he's having a very emotional time as it is.

Ask your vet to help him understand that each having a good home is better than overwhelming a home that might be tempted to bite off more than they can deliver in training, attention and care.


----------



## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

KatsMuse said:


> That's so sad.
> One of my biggest fears is that my dogs would either outlive me or I would become so ill that I'd have to rehome them..


Because of this fear, my life insurance policy($25000.00) at work goes to my son to take care of all animals if I'm not able and he is aware of what is expected of him


----------



## Beau (Feb 12, 2012)

What a horrible situation, I feel so sorry for him, and for you for trying to help!

Could you offer to try and keep them paired up if you can't find a single home for all four? He could tell you which ones should be paired and maybe that will ease his mind somewhat that at least his "family" is not going to be broken up completely. 

Best of luck with this!


----------



## GsdLoverr729 (Jun 20, 2010)

The pairing idea is good


----------



## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Bless you


----------



## bocron (Mar 15, 2009)

I was thinking if you could place them in pairs then maybe it would be a more likable situation for him to accept. So sad to hear, it just breaks my heart. 
My kids know who gets which dog already, just in case...


----------



## Tatonkafamily (Apr 6, 2012)

I was thinking the same thing as a PP - offering to pair them up. Adopting 2 dogs together is much more likely than all 4. Also I bet if you tell each possible owner the story and exchange emails between the 2 new families, they would arrange play dates. 

My heart goes out to you, this man and his furry family!


----------



## Katerlena (May 30, 2008)

Its so kind of you to help this man. I can only imagine if it were me this would be my last wish to make sure my animals were happy and loved

I agree with the other posters that he just needs to be reassured that what you will do will absolutely be in the best interest of his dogs and this will give him a great deal of comfort.

If it were my Dad I know I would want his dogs or at least to be in close contact with them as they would be a living connection to his memory. I know not everyone is an animal lover though


----------



## JimX (Aug 9, 2012)

I hope they all get placed together!


----------



## Mooch (May 23, 2012)

You're doing the right thing by being honest with him. No point lying to him - you will just feel guilty then if you can't place them together after he passes away.
You never know you might be lucky and someone will take all 4 (fingers crossed) but pairing them up is hopefully a good compromise


----------



## starburst (Jun 9, 2012)

What a horrible time this man must be going through.
Thank you for assisting him and being honest with him.

I sincerely hope you are able to find a great home for all of them or at least in pairs as suggested.


----------



## kiya (May 3, 2010)

Such a sad situation. I hope that his stay in this world is extended long enough for him to see his dogs placed in a good home, hopefully together.


----------



## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I think that placing 4 dogs into the same good home is a chance one in a million. Most people have a hard time managing one new dog at a time. I don't envy your situation, it is better to place each dog into a good home separately than have two or four returned because people overestimate what they can handle. His own children don't care enough to take them, why would strangers? And most people who adopt think of their own feelings, not of the feelings of the previous owner. Most rescues when they take owner surrenders require signing a contract where they relinquish their rights to the dog. Having the owner interfering with the placement of the dogs makes the situation impossible.


----------



## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

RebelGSD said:


> I think that placing 4 dogs into the same good home is a chance one in a million. Most people have a hard time managing one new dog at a time. I don't envy your situation, it is better to place each dog into a good home separately than have two or four returned because people overestimate what they can handle. His own children don't care enough to take them, why would strangers? And most people who adopt think of their own feelings, not of the feelings of the previous owner. Most rescues when they take owner surrenders require signing a contract where they relinquish their rights to the dog. Having the owner interfering with the placement of the dogs makes the situation impossible.


My thoughts exactly. Although it sounds wonderful in theory to keep the dogs together, it has been my experience that dogs who get separated and go to different homes do very well. In fact, most of them do even better without their former pack mates.

I can understand the owner wanting to think his "family" will stay together once he can't care for them any longer. But that is his interests talking, not what is in the best interests of the dogs. These aren't 5 lb. Chihuahuas we're talking about. Four GSDs together is asking a whole lot from an adoptive family. As Rebel said, there might be one in a million who is willing to do it and can do it well. But do you have the time to hang onto these dogs (all together) while you look for that one in a million home? It could take a year or more. And it is possible that it might not ever happen. To be honest, with four big dogs and some of them older? One in a million might be too optimistic.

OP, if you are willing to foster them yourself then you could promise to keep them together until each are adopted into individual homes, and that you would *try* to adopt them out in pairs. That is a promise much easier to keep (providing you are the one stepping up to foster, since it wouldn't be right for you to make promises on the behalf of a rescue without being able to make sure the promise is carried out). Make sure he knows how well dogs of all ages do in these circumstances. And tell him that it is the well-being of the dogs that drives the decision, because you want each to have the *right *home, not just a home that is willing to take them all.

I hope that whatever happens he is able to rest easy knowing he did what he could to be a good, responsible owner. What a crappy situation.
Sheiah


----------



## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

Tatonkafamily said:


> I was thinking the same thing as a PP - offering to pair them up. Adopting 2 dogs together is much more likely than all 4. Also I bet if you tell each possible owner the story and exchange emails between the 2 new families, they would arrange play dates.
> 
> My heart goes out to you, this man and his furry family!


 This is what I would do. I do not think you will ever find a home that can or will take all four. Of course we would all like to say we would if he had the means, but MOST people don't have the means and those that do likely already have a large group of dogs and can't take on four more.

I can honestly say none of my dogs are so bonded to each other that they would miss eachother if they had to be seperated. My two boys play quite a bit (malinois and gsd) but they'd be fine living seperate, they aren't what I would call "bonded." My almost 9 y/o female would be happy as an only dog, LOL, and my other girl wouldn't care either way and honestly would probably be happiest as an only dog too. She gets along fine with the others but doesn't play with them, nap with them, etc. I think most people think their dogs are bonded but in reality when they need to be seperated, they are usually (I say usually, not always) fine.


----------



## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

I contacted the family who was on the waiting list for two adults and they are going to come out to meet with the dogs to see which two they may be interested in. I did talk to the owner about the pairing idea,and he said that he would be ok with that. To make it easier on everyone we have agreed to keep the dogs at his house as long as he is able to care for them and if he needs help,he has my number as well as the number to some of the other people with the rescue. The applications and screening process will still be handled by me.


----------



## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

Sounds like a great plan, and if you can get one pair adopted it will at least make things so much easier on him with only two remaining ones while you handle their adoptions.


----------



## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

Make sure one of the immediate family members has all your contact info in case he passes away before they are all placed. It might be helpful, if he is willing, to leave a big note or paperwork from your rescue on his fridge or some other easily viewable area. This way there is no confusion about what to do with the dogs.


----------



## Zeeva (Aug 10, 2010)

You are so wonderful  I wish you all the best...


----------



## deldridge72 (Oct 25, 2011)

Would he be able or interested in setting up a Living Trust or some such arrangement?


----------



## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

Just a little update about the situation here. The family who was looking for two adult dogs has adopted two of the dogs from this gentleman,and now we are down to just two,who are at my house now.I picked the previous owner up and took him along with me to the adoptive family's house just to ease his mind a bit,and he was very happy. He insisted on bringing all of the supplies for the dogs and even brought along EVERY vet record he had since he had them at 4 and 6 months of age. I'll post pictures of the new fosters.


----------



## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Bless his heart. I wish good people didn't have to suffer this way. 
You are a good soul to do so much to help.


----------



## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

Thats good news. Bless you for trying so hard to ease this mans mind. Shame on his children.


----------



## doggerel (Aug 3, 2011)

That's wonderful to hear; thanks for all of your hard work and tireless effort to both appease the man and find good, loving homes for all of his dogs. People like you make the world a better, brighter place!


----------

