# My Jasmina



## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

Based on x-rays taken last Friday, my vet thinks Jasmine has hemangiosarcoma. She told me about all the options but one (option a: ultrasound, surgery, biopsy; option b: wait for the large tumor that was found to burst). Dogs do not survive this type of cancer (of the blood vessels). The vet did not mention c: Say goodbye to Jasmine before the tumor bursts -- avoid putting her through that, and definitely not going the surgery route due to her other health issues and age. When I called the vet yesterday and spoke to her, she fully agreed with option c. She told me that Jasmine's tumor is extremely large, and she has autopsied dogs with this disease with tumors much much smaller. 
On Saturday, I took Jasmine for a walk and she chased a stick a few times. The walk wore her out, as I know our shortened walks always do. Since, she has been lying around, not really wanting to get up, still eating, but spending 22 hours of the day lying on the hard, cool tile in the a/c and directly in front of a fan. I have been buying her her favorite bones, feeding her medicine in chunks of red meat. I have to lure her out of the house to go to the bathroom. I am having to start lifting her rear to get her back legs stable so she can walk. I have her on pain meds.
I thought maybe I would have a few months with her, then I thought I would have a few weeks. But I just don't think this is quality of life for my old girl, I really don't. 
I have always waited until my dogs were immobile or practically unconcious before taking them in. I don't want to go that route this time. I don't want her suffering to become excrutiating and unbearable. 
If she is still like this by Thursday, I think I'm taking her in. It's not doing anyone any good -- especially her -- for her to be lying around feeling so poorly. She whines and groans and looks at me as if to say, "Can't you do something here?" 
I don't know how to muster the strength to take an alert companion in for this, but I know I have to. I know I owe it to my girl.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

I am so very sorry.







What a kind and truly unselfish gift you are preparing to give your sweet Jasmine. No stress for her, no pain, no struggle-- just an easy slide while she is still somewhat well yet very ready to go. You are giving your dear Jasmine what you will forego for yourself-- peace and freedom from pain. She is so very loved. What you do for her will be the kindest gift anyone could give her. A life full of love, and an easy transition over. Jasmine is lucky, that you are brave-- even though this hurts you so deeply. She put her trust in you for good reason. You will, as you always have, put her as your priority. She is so lucky to have you making these kind choices for her. 

Wishing you strength, wishing you some measure of peace as you prepare to do this for your precious Jasmine.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

> Originally Posted By: BrightelfI am so very sorry.
> 
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I could not have said this any better.








to Jasmine and your family.


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## HeidiW (Apr 9, 2009)

God Bless you both, you know her best and she feels your love.


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## Suki's Mom (Nov 24, 2008)

My thoughts are with you and your family.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

It's an agonizing decission but it sounds like the right one. She's had a good life with you.


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## Jhoovr (Jan 16, 2009)

I too made this very hard decision only a couple weeks ago. As difficult as it was, our Reuben licked me just before passing (he hadn't had reponse like that in days) and said I love you, thank you mom, and I'll see you again.
Sure was hard but I knew it was right as I know you have said so also. I'm still heartbroken but I have peace with my decision because it was right and I let go of selfishly keeping here for my comfort. I will never have another like him, but will have many more. May you both find comfort and peace.
My prayers are with you both.
Julie


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Gosh Penny, what an agonizing decision, I know how upset you are. But what you're doing is in Jas's best interest and I respect you for putting her welfare in front of your own broken heart. Hemangiosarcoma is such an obscene disease, it seems more and more of our dogs are being diagnosed with it. 

Please give her a big hug for me!!!


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## TG (Dec 31, 2004)

I am so sorry. I went through this recently, but did not know of the HS diagnosis until we were at the emergency vet. If I had known of his condition beforehand, I would have been prepared to help my boy go to the bridge before he experienced any pain or suffering. It breaks my heart that his sweet and gentle soul had to experience even one second of discomfort. 

Wishing you strength and sending a hug for comfort. Jasmina knows she is loved and is safest in your care.


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## short1cake (May 29, 2009)

I've made this very hard decision before, and you know in your heart what you have to do. As you love your baby and want them with you, it makes it even harder. I've struggled with what my head tells me is right vs. my heart wanting to break. My thoughts are with you and your family and have faith that you are making the right decision.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

wishing you peace of mind. wishing your girl a safe and easy trip. many blessings.


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## meisha98 (Aug 27, 2008)

I've been there with my Meisha. Same scenario except when it was found, your option C was all we had. Know you've done all you could and it's been taken out of your hands. Take care, you're in my thoughts.


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## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

Thank you all. I began reading responses yesterday from my desk at work, tried to respond, and just fell apart. I am going back and forth questioning myself...well, maybe she'll get better. Maybe it's a benign tumor. The fact of the matter is she is getting a little worse every day, but her eyes are still bright and she still has that inquisitive look on her face. And she is still chowing down on treats. Today she is doing something real weird with her back legs. I talked to Gayle (Arycrest) about it: It's like she's marching with her back legs, moving them in a real strange stiff manner. Gayle mentioned that perhaps the tumor is pressing on a nerve.

I am watching her and hoping she will make it through the weekend ok....I want to spend time with her when I am off work. If she continues in this downward spiral, and I must admit she is spiraling downward, I will take her in next week.

I asked a friend to give me an objective opinion about what her health looks like (yesterday). My friend said right now she appears to be an old dog with hip problems. A neighbor who has known her forever is going to visit as well, and I'm asking her the same thing. I don't want my emotions for her to be coloring what I am seeing, and I don't want to hold on to her too long for my sake. I want so much to do the right thing for her. If I feel I must, I will take her in to the ER this weekend to get it done. 

Again, thank you so much. Your words and support really mean a lot to me.


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## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

Jasmine had a bad evening last night. I almost took her to the emergency vet, but then her pain killers kicked in, she was happy to chomp on a fresh bone, and she slept next to me soundly. The only reason she is able to get up and walk is because of the medicine. So, I called her vet this morning and arranged to take her in tomorrow at 3:30. I have the day off, so I get to spend the whole day with her. I'll keep her pumped full of meds so she's comfortable. Then I'll say goodbye.


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## ncgsdmom (Jun 24, 2008)

Enjoy the day with Jasmina. Give her some special treats, savor the moments. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your special girl. It is so difficult at the end, but I try to focus on the love and happiness that the dogs have given us.


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## TG (Dec 31, 2004)

May you have a very beautiful day with Jasmina. You will both be in my thoughts.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I lost my BoBo to hemangiosarcoma on June 13 (he is in the Loving Memory section). He was doing perfectly fine in the morning chasing the ball, then had a large bleed late in the afternoon and then another one at night. He could not get up and I was unable to move him. There was nothing that could be done for him, hw was bleeding out. Even as weak as he was, he was wagging his tail at the vet and staff and smiling at them. He was completely there mentally and his body just failed him because of this cruel disease.

You and Jasmina will be in my thoughts.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Oh, geeze Penny, I'm so sorry. I was hoping she could get thru the weekend like you were wanted.

Hugs to Jasmine.


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