# Trying Again.



## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

Hi there.

I'm back here posting again as tomorrow i'm going to be visiting my partners family home they have a 10 year old, German Shepherd however on my first visit, she bit me quite severely when i walked into the house.

This time i'm clearly nervous, it's just that she barks so loudly and it comes across very menacing and jumps all over me. (I have never been bitten by any other dog except her)

Any tips and advice on how i should approach and enter the house? etc.

She barks at anybody who enters (even the family) and she waits at the bottom of the stairs often and when i go down she barks and follows and snarls at me. 

She constantly growls at me i can't see why i have grown up around dogs and i'm not bothered by any other dog except her.
I can't really turn around to her owners and make a comment as they are the parents of my partner.

I genuinely like the families company and we get along really well so it's difficult for me to say anything against the dog.

My partners mum has recently told me she loves the dog more than she does her own children and i don't know what to make of that tbh the dog is spoilt beyond belief.


My Previous Post - 

http://www.germanshepherds.com/foru...78954-meeting-dog-first-time.html#post8256122

Please Help!


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

Honestly, they should put the dog up. That is not unreasonable for you to expect/ask. Your nervousness will only make it worse.


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

Hi LKanua - 

Is there any possibility that the family visit could be moved to a nearby coffee shop, restaurant, park? Even if you go a little bit out of your way to prepare for it, you could do it without offending anyone... Offer to pack and bring a picnic lunch, or "just happen to" have a gift certificate for a restaurant close to their home that you'd like to use. 

That way you can avoid the dog matter entirely and just spend your time and energy visiting.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

The mother has already told me.

''I expect you to make up some excuse for not coming''


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

LKanua said:


> The mother has already told me.
> 
> ''I expect you to make up some excuse for not coming''


So there's already negativity going into the matter.... sigh. If I were in your shoes, I would buy a gift certificate for a restaurant and surprise them.

Call the mother tonight, "I've always wanted to try ABC Bistro, and I have a gift certificate that I'd like to share with you guys! I already called and made a reservation for 5pm."

Yes, it's some money out of your pocket, but you're avoiding the problem and being positive (and gracious). If they won't manage their dog, doing this will allow you to avoid the matter. It isn't a long term solution, but it will get you through tomorrow without problems.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

I would be much more blunt. 

If this is to be a long relationship I would set some ground rules now. Your partner needs to step up to the plate and demand the dog be put up. If he is willing to let you get bitten knowing the history, I would reassess that relationship. Dogs do not have more rights than people.

You are worth so much more than that!! Remember that. You have zero reason to offer yourself up to be bitten by someone's dog.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

Thank you so much for your comments.

I genuinely can't understand why they won't at least put the dog on a leash so she doesn't go for me once again the response i always get is.

''It's our house''
''She's only bitten you it must be you''



This is deeply troubling to me as i have been with my partner for nearly 2 years, and i rarely get to spend time with his family as we all work.


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## Chip Blasiole (May 3, 2013)

Your partner's family are totally irresponsible dog owners.


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

Nancy is absolutely right, you are worth much more than that. Your safety and peace of mind are important, the dog _should_ be put up when you visit.

Family matters are complicated, and I'm not trying to undermine that with my suggestions - just offering thoughts on a quiet, diplomatic way to sidestep a problem tomorrow.

So sorry you're back in this position.


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## Twyla (Sep 18, 2011)

LKanua said:


> The mother has already told me.
> 
> ''I expect you to make up some excuse for not coming''


My opinion is this is a control issue with the mom and leave it at that.

You have been bit, you aren't making up an excuse to not visit. Request the dog be put away for your visit or don't go. Your nervousness - which you have every right to feel at this point - is just a wide open invitation for another bite. The ball is in the mom's court. She can act like a responsible human being and dog owner or continue with this self-centered act. Cold blunt comments I know...

Honestly, I would be looking at the partner during this as well. Why didn't the partner step up at the first mention of a visit and insist on safety measures regarding this dog instead of waiting and letting you take the bad guy image on this?


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

I'll open by saying I sometimes favor my dog over people who come to my house; I don't like to have people in my space, and if my husband's college friends inform us they want to use our place as a weekend crash pad and I'm forced to go along, I go right ahead and prioritize my dog over their comfort.

That being said, if you're a close family member or an invited person, there's no excuse for not meeting you halfway. I have allergic family members. We arrange to meet at restaurants. We have friends who are nervous around dogs. My dog is basically trained to be very loud when someone comes to the door but stop barking on command. I will not allow her to continue to bark at someone or to jump on or at them when they enter my home. She does calm down quickly, but if they would prefer she not be in the room with them, she can go outside or to her kennel with something to chew. If that won't work for them in the future? Restaurants/bars.

What I find appalling is that they allowed their dog to bully and bite you and don't seem to think anything of it. What's more, they aren't volunteering to compromise in a way that is fair to both you and their dog. I agree with the suggestion for this time, to offer to take them out to dinner, but for the future, what does your partner say? Does s/he understand how unwelcoming the family is being to you, and will this be allowed to continue over your life together?


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

As i said previously i have never ever been bitten by any other dog except my partners family dog.

I have contacted the mum to say to her i'll take them all out to a restaurant for a change only to be met with.

''You're wimping out because the dog goes for you''

It's just a nightmare and my partner is at a complete loss he doesn't understand why she behaves the way she does to me.

I only have to walk down the stairs and she's running at me barking and growling.


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

LKanua said:


> As i said previously i have never ever been bitten by any other dog except my partners family dog.
> 
> I have contacted the mum to say to her i'll take them all out to a restaurant for a change only to be met with.
> 
> ...


Um. You have every right to "wimp out" because their dog goes for your. I cannot believe they do not see the problem with this situation. I'm sorry.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

LKanua said:


> As i said previously i have never ever been bitten by any other dog except my partners family dog.
> 
> I have contacted the mum to say to her i'll take them all out to a restaurant for a change only to be met with.
> 
> ...


I have nothing kind to say about this woman. She is putting you, your partner, AND HER "LOVED" DOG in terrible positions here. she is putting you and the dog at risk, and she is jeopardizing her relationship with her son. At best she's controlling and stupid. That is the best-case scenario.

I certainly hope that this "complete loss" is a momentary result of shock and will shortly change to a more galvanized backbone. If not, I'd be rethinking my relationship.


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

LKanua said:


> As i said previously i have never ever been bitten by any other dog except my partners family dog.
> 
> I have contacted the mum to say to her i'll take them all out to a restaurant for a change only to be met with.
> 
> ...


Wow. I am so sorry.

This isn't acceptable, it isn't even safe. If your partner will not step up for you and physically take hold of the parent's dog and put it in another room before you walk in the door of that house, I don't think you should go in the house.

You offered to spend your own money on a nice meal and time together, and were rudely rejected. If you choose not to go, you should feel no guilt at all. How insulting.


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

Honestly, at this point I would tell the mother that I was sorry that she didn't value me enough as a person to ensure my safety, and never set foot in their house again.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

I'm going to go tomorrow and see what happens and if she bites me again i am going straight home.

I have grown up with dogs all my life from Labradors to Husky's and never been subjected to such aggression.

Because quite frankly if i don't turn up i know this will be thrown at me forever more.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

I think it is safe to say that no matter how well she faked it before, this woman doesn't like or value you. She's certainly controlling. Is she also stupid, or also a really bad person? It's at least one of those two things, possibly both. 

I don't see how you can reasonably be expected to go. This is not normal behavior on her part.

What is your partner going to do to shield you going forward? Because this isn't sustainable. It isn't fair to require you to keep putting yourself at risk. If your relationship is to have any hope of being happy long term, he is going to have to advocate for you here. If he can't or won't do that, then I'm afraid you'll be uncomfortable and stressed out leading up to and during every single visit with his family.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

My partner has told me that the mum won't have any restrictions on the dog in the house as it's her ''Territory'' 

And yet when work men come around to fix appliances she has to put them out as they refuse to enter with the dog loose in the house.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

LKanua said:


> My partner has told me that the mum won't have any restrictions on the dog in the house as it's her ''Territory''


Okay, so what is he going to do about this with respect to you feeling and BEING comfortable and safe?


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

I have been asked to give it more go tomorrow and see what happens.

Quite frankly dreading it.


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

Tell (don't ask... _tell_) your partner to walk in before you and physically put the dog behind a door in another room or the basement or the yard. Period.

There's no way you can relax and be yourself if you're justifiably worried about getting hurt.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

LKanua said:


> I have been asked to give it more go tomorrow and see what happens.
> 
> Quite frankly dreading it.


I am so sorry. I think this is a very unkind and unfair thing to ask of you. I realize it's his family, but if you are his partner, you are also his family.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow and see if i'm out before i even get in so to speak.


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

LKanua said:


> I've gone to the Hospital to have it cleaned and had my tetanus injection.
> 
> I've just left suppose i better reevaluate my relationship.
> 
> ...


This was from last time. Please take care of yourself, and think long and hard before you walk in that house.


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## Hineni7 (Nov 8, 2014)

Unfortunately, you may have to be exceptionally blunt and when she says something like the above statement just let her know "if the dog bites me again I will call animal control and you will pay for the hospital visit" diplomacy is out as she is taking a stand whilch is contrary to your safety.. And I try to be diplomatic all the time, but there is a time when you have to be straightforward and strong


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

I am really sorry but this is abuse, plain and simple. The dog already bit you. if you do get bit again, it really will be your responsibility because you can stop this.


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## cloudpump (Oct 20, 2015)

LKanua said:


> My partner has told me that the mum won't have any restrictions on the dog in the house as it's her ''Territory''
> 
> And yet when work men come around to fix appliances she has to put them out as they refuse to enter with the dog loose in the house.


Wow.
Another reason why I chose who I am with by looking at the entire package. Them. And their family. Because you are stuck with the entire package. I know from experience.


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## kimbale (Mar 7, 2017)

Put your foot down, both with the mother and your partner. I'd lay it out clear as day for them. The message they are sending is that this dog is more important to them than you are. The dog is clearly aggressive and has already harmed you once, and for your safety you should not be around it. Thus, if they want you around then they need to put the dog up. I would also tell your partner that he needs to stick up for you, and don't take any excuses from him.

Tell them that they either put the dog up or you don't come because you'd rather not end up at the doctor again. And if the mom makes some snarky comment about the dog tell her "Darn right it's because of the dog! You know, the one that's already bitten me."

Push back and don't take their stupid crap. I understand not wanting to cause a rift or be offensive, but sometimes you have to make some noise in order to not get pushed around. This is a matter of your safety. Don't compromise it.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

NancyJ said:


> I am really sorry but this is abuse, plain and simple. The dog already bit you. if you do get bit again, it really will be your responsibility because you can stop this.


This bears repeating.

I want to be clear that I do not blame you, but the ultimate effect is the same. You are teaching them - your partner's mother, and your partner - how to treat you. You are communicating to them by your actions that the mother's disregard for your safety and comfort and your partner's disinclination for having your back are both totally okay with you. I'm concerned that if you aren't more definite, they will continue to think this is acceptable. Without your firm insistence, neither one of them has an incentive to change: His mom is getting her way and getting off on having control over her son and his partner. Your partner is able to shift all the discomfort to you rather than take any on himself by standing up for you.


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## ckatz1981 (May 30, 2017)

LKanua said:


> The mother has already told me.
> 
> ''I expect you to make up some excuse for not coming''


OK so this response isn't completely on topic in a GSD forum but I'm assuming by 'partner' you are indicating you're gay. If so, I am too, and I understand the family dynamics that can exist.

However, it should be neither here nor there, and with that said, how does the family receive that? Because in my eyes, they are not only tolerating but encouraging this behavior from their pup. If that is indeed the case, it's time to, bare minimum, cut this 'family' from your life. The dog does what it's allowed to do. And if your partner doesn't recognize that from his own family, it's time to look at that as well.

I can't see how needing to ask a GSD forum how to tolerate or deal with a permissively aggressive dog is even an issue. Tell that 'mother' you have no 'excuse' other than her willingness to allow her dog to injure you. Then hand her a personal injury attorney card and wash your hands of it.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## sebrench (Dec 2, 2014)

I don't understand the family's response at all. They seem quite unreasonable. I don't think you should have to interact with an unfriendly dog that has already bitten you, and I think your partner should be the one to communicate your position and stand up to his mother. I probably would have a very frank talk with him. Anyway, good luck. I hope that everything goes well. 

My dogs are friendly, and I still put them in their crates or outside when we have visitors.


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

I certainly didn't make that assumption when I saw the word 'partner'. I just assumed it was a couple living together. But if you're right, yeah, there could be something else going on, like the mother not approving of the same-sex relationship.

Just wanting to say, I have a friend whose uncle insisted on bringing his unpredictable dog to a family Christmas gathering. Her son was gently petting the back of the dog's neck, and for no apparent reason, it turned and bit him on the face! The bite was bad enough for a trip to the E.R. and stitches.

My dogs are fine with strangers. If a visitor was uncomfortable with them, though, I would put them in another room as a courtesy to my guest. What this woman is doing is against all rules of hospitality, safety and sanity, and I wouldn't stand for it for one minute!

If you are bitten a second time, (and if I were in your shoes) I would report it to animal control, and that would be the end of the relationship. If my partner did not value my safety enough to protect me, that would be IT! He would be OUT THE DOOR!


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

Sounds like you only have a couple of options. First option is to fight the dog, and win, winning is key. The dog will see you as it's master and so will the partners mom. But she doesn't sound friendly so make sure to crate her before you have guests - the mom that is. 

Your second and less comical option (your only realistic option that is) is just don't go. Why be a human bite sleeve for someone? I'd be [REMOVED] if I'd do that to someone and wouldn't allow it to happen to me. I can't imagine it being a pleasant time in the least under those circumstances. 

Disclaimer: option one was a joke. Do not fight the dog. Trust me it never ends well even when you "win" (you never really win)


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## carmspack (Feb 2, 2011)

the partner's family is dysfunctional.

the mum is a tyrant . The dog is her agent . The dog carries out her animosity to the poster ,
an invited visitor .

when the dog's aggressive action happens how does the family step in to stop things - if they do?

I believe the old lady is getting some vicarious thrill out of it -- a bit of a sadist .

the poster's "partner" , no matter what the definition of "partner" is , does not seem to have
a great deal of interest in asserting themselves in this family dynamic .

look carefully at your "partner" . One of the most very basic expectations of a "partner" is missing.
Partners - no matter what - are supposed to have your back .

in your opening post you said " she bit me quite severely when i walked into the house."

quite severely? there is no way I would go back for a visit . 
I should hope that the "partner" had strong words with the parents , the mum in particular 

that partner should set conditions - you want to see ME , then you have to do xxxxxxx fill in the blanks.

conditions not met -- see ya - not worth it -- not only is the visitor (poster) not respected - the family 
member is not either.

I wouldn't go back . You can't condone this kind of treatment .


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## Femfa (May 29, 2016)

I describe my boyfriend and I as partners, as we're in that weird relationship point where we're essentially married but there's no ring (in fact, our 5 year anniversary is in two weeks haha). But I don't think it really bears any attention, as Carmen mentioned, because regardless of what the relationship is the dog should not be allowed to assert such aggressive behaviour. It shouldn't be condoned by ANYONE, nor should it be used as an excuse to prevent you from visiting. 

In my honest opinion, I'd gladly let the woman know that if her dog bit me, for the SECOND time, Animal Control would be informed of the second (and emphasis on SECOND) bite and she would have to pay damages. If she can value that dog's life over yours, then she should have enough common sense to understand the grounds that come with a dog with a bite history. It honestly sounds like she's just bullying you and doesn't think you'll do a darn thing about it.


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## Springbrz (Aug 13, 2013)

Gonna be blunt. Anyone who expects you to bitten by a family pet doesn't have respect for you. In this case, the parents and the partner. If you are willing to be bullied into that position by any of them then you don't have respect for yourself. 

It's not whining to say you don't want to go visit because of the dog. It's having self respect and valuing yourself enough to stand up say "NO! I'm not going so I can be bitten again". 
Look in the mirror and ask yourself...is this a relationship that has "mutual" respect? If not than a deeper evaluation needs to be made. 

Not advocating this, just an example: How would things be if the table was turned and you showed up to their house with a bad arse dog that tried to take a chunk out of them. I'm going to guess the views and attitude would be very different. Think about that. If they wouldn't be willing to get bitten by your dog if you had one why should they expect you too. Because they don't respect you and don't want you around no matter what they say to your face. Have some respect for yourself and stay home. If your partner doesn't understand you'll have your answer loud and clear as to whether s/he has respect for you. 

The advise and opinion are free. An ER visit is not. Best of luck in whatever decision you make.


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## Heartandsoul (Jan 5, 2012)

I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this. The mom has made her feelings know loud and clear. I would not enter the house at this point because anything that occurs will be your fault in her eyes.

A couple of things that weren't mentioned that I noticed and may be important.

The mom basically uninvited you when she said she expected you to make an excuse and not come. This is important because if you get very severely bitten and it comes down to animal control or worse, a court case because of hospital bills etc, she can say that you were not invited.

I know it may seem far fetched but given that she has said the dog is more important than her children along with her disregard for your safety, she will probably due what ever it takes to protect the dog including that she said you were not invited.

The other thing is the hospital probably all ready called animal control (if you told them you were bit by a dog). By law they have to report it to ac. Ac may have already contacted her.

My advice same as others, don't enter that house and don't allow that woman to disrespect you. 

I hope this can be resolved for you at some point.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

My "only" two cents: they blew it on your first visit. She bullied you in saying that you would come up with some sort of an excuse not to visit. That lady/family is not even worthy of your time and energy and maybe your partner isn't either.
Be blunt and say, "Thanks but you won't see me in the same house as the dog!" and stick with it. It will be a good test of the loyalty from your partner to you as well.
These dynamics will not get any better over time so may want to ask yourself if this is what you want in your future.
BTW: putting the dog in another room will not make it safe. Most likely they find a way to test you or it happens "accidentally". So with all the advice from everyone: you are completely responsible for the next bite.
I am truly wishing you wisdom and happiness.


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

I'm really sorry that you are being put in this position, and you have stated that you've already made the decision to "try again", but I would seriously urge you to reconsider.

If you are going "because quite frankly if i don't turn up i know this will be thrown at me forever more", I would say that you need to take a large step back. You're afraid that this family will tease/taunt/bring it up in a negative way because you stood up for yourself? Really? If you know that you will be given crap about making a wise choice for your own safety, why do YOU want a relationship with THEM?

As many other people have stated, you need to stand up for yourself, RESPECT YOURSELF, and take a long hard look at your partner. He is not doing what needs to be done for a healthy relationship. If he cannot stand up to his family now to make sure that you are not in danger, things will likely only get worse as time goes on. You are not the problem. They are the problem.

I would flat out tell his mom that yes, you will not come because of the dog, and no, you are not wimping out. Tell them that if they cannot control their dog, animal control will be informed. If they love their dog that much, I bet they would do anything to keep it out of that kind of trouble. I know that bringing up animal control will cause problems in the relationship. I'm sure that they will blame you for all of this. I repeat, why do YOU want a relationship with THEM? They clearly don't care about you the way they should, and you are family. It is not okay that they are treating you this way.

Please, do not go to the house. You will be nervous, and it will only make the dog behave even worse than it did before. Be safe and stay home.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

LKanua said:


> It's just a nightmare and my partner is at a complete loss he doesn't understand why she behaves the way she does to me.


Who cares why? The dog has already done it once and will likely do it again. The reason isn't important, IMO. I've mentioned this on the board before, but I'll say it again here: my husband and I have been together over 38 years, and one thing we have ALWAYS done is to deal with our respective families. If anyone in his family were treating me like this there is absolutely no way he wouldn't stand up for me, and I'd do the same for him. In laws can be difficult, and if for some reason they don't like or respect you, it doesn't matter. Their son loves you, and that should be enough for them to treat you with a minimum of courtesy if they can't manage warmth or affection. If it's not, it's HIS job to remind them, and have them back off. It should not be left up to you to defend yourself from this kind of horrible behavior by his mother. 



GypsyGhost said:


> Honestly, at this point I would tell the mother that I was sorry that she didn't value me enough as a person to ensure my safety, and never set foot in their house again.


Yep, me too. 



WateryTart said:


> What is your partner going to do to shield you going forward? Because this isn't sustainable. It isn't fair to require you to keep putting yourself at risk. If your relationship is to have any hope of being happy long term, he is going to have to advocate for you here.


I absolutely agree. Other people's relationships aren't anyone else's business, but if it were me I would be seriously reconsidering whether or not this relationship had any chance of lasting long term. And for that to happen, things would need to change on their part because you have done nothing wrong. For them to criticize you for being afraid of a dog that has already bitten you once is unfathomable. 



LKanua said:


> My partner has told me that the mum won't have any restrictions on the dog in the house as it's her ''Territory''
> 
> And yet when work men come around to fix appliances she has to put them out as they refuse to enter with the dog loose in the house.


Yes, because if the dog bit a worker they could sue her, and the dog could be confiscated and euthanized. The fact that she's not worried about that with you speaks volumes, and frankly her behavior screams of passive aggressiveness.


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

It is even more than passive aggressive, the mom is an aggressive, abusive bully who is willing to put both you and the dog she says she loves in danger. Not only would I not go, I would tell the partner, choose me or the dog. I could never trust someone else who allows a parent to treat me like that. If you plan to stay with this person long term, you are going to be part of that family. I would rather be alone that be mistreated like that.


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

LuvShepherds said:


> It is even more than passive aggressive, the mom is an aggressive, abusive bully who is willing to put both you and the dog she says she loves in danger. Not only would I not go, I would tell the partner, choose me or the dog. I could never trust someone else who allows a parent to treat me like that. If you plan to stay with this person long term, you are going to be part of that family. I would rather be alone that be mistreated like that.


I could not agree with this more. I don't care who you are. You could be the Queen of England, and if you treated me like this, I would want absolutely nothing to do with you. It's horrible that it is your partner's family, people that you will likely be interacting with for a long time, but to me, that makes this behavior almost worse. Being alone is way better than being beaten down and treated like a throw-away.

I really hope that this all has a good outcome, OP. I wish you the best.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

I do hope you take this in the spirit it was given and if you decide to go, we do care what happened. 

I have been married 37 years and had an emotionally abusive mother in law. My problem was I actually talked my husband into reconciling with her and it was nothing but trouble for us. I had a very close family and did not understand that we would have been better off not having a relationship with her. Now, I have been through enough life to not put up with that kind of nonsense from somebody

.... but when you are younger, we all need to remember that..won't judge you too hard for making the mistakes of youth...... you need to learn to stand up and not take it.

Never forget....... YOU are the first person you take care of because you can't care for anyone else until you care for yourself (had to learn that the hard way too)


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## Deb (Nov 20, 2010)

I totally agree with LuvShepherds. I, personally, would not go. If you do and are bitten, go straight to the ER and report the dog bite. Dog bites can get badly infected, you shouldn't treat it yourself. You can choose to tell them it's the second bite or not, but do not let it go again. This woman is being pretty blunt in that she doesn't care about you. Your partner needs to step up and defend you. You should not be put in this position!


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## carmspack (Feb 2, 2011)

this sounds like a fairly new relationship - first time meeting the folks?
someone said
"The mom basically uninvited you when she said she expected you to make an excuse and not come."

not so much as an un-invite , as a dare . Games . Guilt . Putting tension and discord into the relationship
between poster and the partner. 

you don't have to make an excuse . You give a reason. 

I bet partner has brought other friends to the house and the same thing happened.

this is not a dog targeting you for some reason -- probably generalized behaviour -- 

the repairmen didn't tolerate an unacceptable risk.

as far as being on the premises - you are an invitee the moment the door opens and you are
allowed entry into the house.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

Thank you all so much for your responses.

She went for me as soon as i walked in snarling and growling at me lunged at me and took a bite out of my arm this time.

I have arrived at my home after going to the Hospital.

The mother simply said ''Well we won't be seeing you again'' and she's absolutely right.

I've ended the relationship i simply cannot keep going to my partners house to be bitten by their dog it's insane.

Thank you all so much for your comments and support.

I wish you all good health and happiness.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

I am now being barraged with text messages asking me not to report the dog to animal control difficult position to be in.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

Report the dog and be done. Next person could be a kid.


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## Heartandsoul (Jan 5, 2012)

LKanua said:


> I am now being barraged with text messages asking me not to report the dog to animal control difficult position to be in.


Of course you are she is trying to protect her baby now.

This whole incident is so sad on so many levels. I'm sorry you chose to stay a victim to this woman and received a second bite. I hope it heals quickly for you with no infection. 

There is an underlying reason why so many here told you not to go back to that house. This is a community that has a deep love for the breed. Hard fact. Every time a shepherd bites a human, it makes it that much harder for us as responsible owners because of the bite stats and public opinion and many of those bites are due to irresponsible humans.

Now it is no longer about you but about what is the moral thing to do. Call animal control and report it. Call the hospital and make sure they report it. You are morally obligated to do the right thing for that woman's next target.

Sorry everyone for my attitude but 4 yrs ago two shepherds attacked a woman. They were in their own yard,well trained, a neighbor of the owner did something really stupid. My town is small and the story ran. I had to curtail our in town walks for about 3-4weeks because all of the looks we were getting just because my boy is a gsd.

Op do what is in your power to do to prevent the next bite.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

Thanks for coming back. I would also ask them to pay your hospital bill. If they do not, file a claim with their insurance company. Yours may well come back and ask for accountability because an accident happened. Every time we have had an injury we have had a letter asking if someone else is "at fault"


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## sebrench (Dec 2, 2014)

Gosh, I'm sorry you got bit and that your relationship ended. I think you did the right thing as it does not sound like they had your best interests at heart. I'm also sad that your GSD experience was not a happy one. They shouldn't have allowed you to get bit the first time, let alone the second. I hope that you have lots of friends and family around you, and that your next GSD encounter is a positive one. 

Do what you have to do regarding animal control. I hate to see a dog suffer because of its owner's terrible decisions, but from what you have posted, they brought it on themselves.


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## kimbale (Mar 7, 2017)

LKanua said:


> I am now being barraged with text messages asking me not to report the dog to animal control difficult position to be in.


If you go to the hospital you will need to report the dog, as well as the situation. Do it and be done. I wouldn't even ask them to pay for your medical bills unless you can work with their insurance and avoid getting into another fight with them, just be done with the situation. The dog needs to be reported, though. These people are obviously not responsible owners and the next time it could be a child or someone elderly.


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## Deb (Nov 20, 2010)

I am so sorry you were bit again. I'm glad you did go to the hospital. Ignore the texts and report the dog if the hospital did not. This woman did not care if her dog bit you and now she is afraid of the consequences. However, as someone else said, the next victim could be a child. She deliberately let this dog terrorize you, be it a GSD or any other dog, it is wrong and dangerous. If allowed to continue it will eventually lead to someone being very seriously injured by this woman and her dog. I would report the dog and block her number. I can only hope one day you meet very nice German Shepherds and can see that despite your experience with this one dog, the breed is an awesome breed to own or know. Best of luck in the future and do check in with us once in a while, or feel free to stay with us! You don't need a GSD to be here, we'd still welcome you to stay and learn about the real German Shepherd.


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## wolfstraum (May 2, 2003)

I feel badly for all involved (except maybe the vindictive conniving mother!!!!!), including the dog, as it is as much a victim as you.....the mother using the dog to vent her own displeasure at her child/your partner may result in the dog losing his life....and you will not only have the pain of the bite, the pain of the damage to the relationship but the mother's anger and resentment towards you as she obviously cannot accept responsibility for her own less than well thought out actions.


I hope your injury was minor, and that you can move past the damage to the relationship to something happier and healthier in the future.


Lee


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

Thanks so much for all your comments and responses I'm waiting on results from the hospital as the dog punctured my skin and caught my bone.

I'm sure it will be fine.

I can't wait to meet more GSD in the future as I'm a believer of no dog is bad it's bad owners.

The woman is a maniac I hope none of you come across people like her, as she's a true loonatic who doesn't deserve such a beautiful dog.


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## Hineni7 (Nov 8, 2014)

I am sorry you got bite again... But the hard truth is, you will be semi responsible for the next bite to anyone, kid, elderly, worker, whatever, if you do not report the bite. Yes, the owner is definitely responsible but the dog is dangerous, plain and simple and the owner doesn't care about other people's safety AT ALL. Thus, it is a loaded weapon waiting for the next opportunity to do damage that might be way worse than what happened to you. This isn't about revenge, it is about being an adult and sizing up the situation and doing something about it. The dog is being used as a weapon to anyone (workers wouldn't even go in, that says something!!!!) and everyone... The only way evil survives for is good people to do nothing....


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

is there a way to file a police report or would they not consider it assault since you went voluntarily? I am relieved you went to the hospital and reported it. That is a sick family. If you want to meet good German Shepherds and do not want to be afraid of the breed, consider volunteering with a German Shepherd rescue group. Tell them briefly what happened and that you want to learn more about the good qualities of the breed. They would be happy to have your help.


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## carmspack (Feb 2, 2011)

the woman wasn't "right" and the dog wasn't "right".

neither one stable.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

LKanua said:


> Thanks so much for all your comments and responses I'm waiting on results from the hospital as the dog punctured my skin and caught my bone.
> 
> I'm sure it will be fine.
> 
> ...


Holy COW. I am so sorry. How painful. I hope that you heal quickly. What an awful and painful experience.

Some dogs are simply not right, no matter how careful the owner. Other dogs were good dogs ruined by bad owners. Unfortunately this dog sounds like it could well have gotten the worst of both. I'm sorry for the dog, but I think you'd be within your rights to report the bite. At the very least, you deserve to be made whole for medical expenses.

Again, I'm just so sorry you are going through this.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

If the dog got through to the bone on your arm and not your hand that is a pretty serious bite. You need to be very careful bone infections can be very bad.


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## Kazel (Nov 29, 2016)

That is a very serious bite and a second one at that! If maintenance workers refuse to go into the home without the dog locked up it is clearly not just because the dog doesn't like you. That is a very bad situation and from what the mother is saying it had clearly chased off other people from coming to their home. I would report this bite and inform them it is the second bite not the first bite and it increased in severity. 

I'm so very sorry you have had to deal with this. She sounds like a horrible owner and person. If I had invited a person over who wasn't comfortable with dogs even though my dog doesn't bite I would put them up. But you had a very valid reason to fear this dog and that dog should not be allowed to be near others. Imagine if they invited somebody with a child over?!


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## Springbrz (Aug 13, 2013)

How awful for you to have experienced a second bite by this woman's dog. I truly hope you heal fast without complication. I commend you on not blaming the breed and placing accountability where it lies. I urge you to take the appropriate action and file a complaint with animal control and or the police. I understand why you may not want to and may just want to move on. But look at it this way. What happens to the next partner. Does the mother not like that person. Is the dog going to be allowed to attack another person. Maybe much worse than you were attacked. What if it's a child that comes to the house and is killed. You may feel it's too hard but please do the right thing and report this woman and the dog. 

This situation makes me so angry. For someone who claims she loves her dog so much to put it's life at risk just to be an evil human burns me to the core. 

Again, wishing you a speedy recovery and emotional healing in the cruel way you were treated.


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## carmspack (Feb 2, 2011)

did anyone capture the incident on cell phone camera?


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

LKanua said:


> I am now being barraged with text messages asking me not to report the dog to animal control difficult position to be in.


Wow. While I understand her desire to protect her dog, it would have been nice if she extended that same level of concern to invited guests into her home. She deliberately endangered you, twice, and mocked you for being afraid of her dog after it had already bitten you once. She created this situation, not you. For that kind of reckless disregard for your safety there should be consequences. 

I would ignore the messages, block the sender/s if you can, and report the bite to the proper authorities. And then move on with your life.


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## Twyla (Sep 18, 2011)

I would hesitate blocking txt msges for now. I also would not delete them. This applies to any voice mails as well. You will need all of this as possible evidence later on. As your arm heals, you may find you have muscle and/or nerve damage due to this bite. You will need the owner/insurance to step up and cover cost.

And as crazy as this lady sounds, you want to track if threats towards you start showing up.

Please definitely follow through and report the dog bite, obtain written report for your records. Also all medical records for this bite and the previous bite as well.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Twyla said:


> I would hesitate blocking txt msges for now. I also would not delete them. This applies to any voice mails as well. You will need all of this as possible evidence later on. As your arm heals, you may find you have muscle and/or nerve damage due to this bite. You will need the owner/insurance to step up and cover cost.


Good point.


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## LKanua (Dec 27, 2016)

I've reported the dog to be told it's well known to the police.


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## gsdluvr (Jun 26, 2012)

I just got through reading this. All I can say is WOW, what a terrible experience! My very best wishes to you. Hoping for a good report from the hospital, infections can be quite serious.


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

LKanua said:


> I've reported the dog to be told it's well known to the police.


I was pretty sure when I read your previous thread about this dog that you were not its first victim. 

I know you won't be going back again, but if you are still harassed about being afraid, or being rude for not wanting to go visit, you can always say that you can't go because you are allergic to dog bites . . .


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

LKanua said:


> Thanks so much for all your comments and responses I'm waiting on results from the hospital as the dog punctured my skin and caught my bone.
> 
> I'm sure it will be fine.
> 
> ...


Most likely she created this dog herself. A good GSD is a magical creature, not just a dog. Please, please report the dog to AC. I think the hospital will do it anyways as a policy, but do it anyways to make sure this dog will not kill a kid one or these days. And you don't owe this woman anything so to save your sanity, block all her contact info, change your locks if your ex has keys to your house. You never know what these idiots are capable of when they 'feel/are cornered.


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## Chip18 (Jan 11, 2014)

This is just so sad and unnecessary, lot's of poor choices by all involved. Hope your recovery goes well OP ... I'm so sorry.


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

I'm very sorry to hear this. If the problem is well-known to the police, how has the dog not been dealt with yet? That just seems crazy to me. One thing that I found interesting was your partner acting surprised that the dog behaved that way toward you. Clearly that was a lie, or his family hid the dog's history from him. I am glad that you have moved on. It's upsetting to hear about another bite, but hopefully you will recover quickly and you can wash your hands of these people. Thank you for not blaming and hating the breed.


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

Guys please forgive me ahead of time because I know the stance I'm about to take is going to be unpopular. But why is anyone apologizing and feeing sorry for the op? She's just as guilty, or more so even, than the mom here. At least in her case(the partners mom) according to the op, the mother said she would not put the dog away and the dog had previously bit the op. I didn't see a single post here that suggested op goes back and visits the family, so idk why she's shocked or we're sorry. Yea it sucks to be bit by a dog but she knew it was going to happen and everyone here said so. She ignored all of it and, big shocker, she got bit again. Honestly I think half the posters of these threads come here and ask for advice only to do the opposite of what was advised. So now we have another gsd bite to make the dogs look bad because neither party was responsible enough to avoid it.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

We discussed personal accountability and also accepted that the OP could be young and not used to standing up to older folks etc. Life is a series of learning experiences. At this point, what is the point of being judgmental?


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

thegooseman90 said:


> Guys please forgive me ahead of time because I know the stance I'm about to take is going to be unpopular. But why is anyone apologizing and feeing sorry for the op? She's just as guilty, or more so even, than the mom here. At least in her case(the partners mom) according to the op, the mother said she would not put the dog away and the dog had previously bit the op. I didn't see a single post here that suggested op goes back and visits the family, so idk why she's shocked or we're sorry. Yea it sucks to be bit by a dog but she knew it was going to happen and everyone here said so. She ignored all of it and, big shocker, she got bit again. Honestly I think half the posters of these threads come here and ask for advice only to do the opposite of what was advised. So now we have another gsd bite to make the dogs look bad because neither party was responsible enough to avoid it.


I do agree with this on some level. The opinion on this forum was unanimous to not go back to the house. We all knew this would happen. I do agree that it was largely the OP's fault, as he/she should have known better than to go back. When I say that I am sorry to hear it, I mean more like, "This was an unfortunate experience that should not have happened. I do not like to hear about a GSD (or any dog) biting people, and I am sorry that the dog will likely now be put down. I am sorry to the OP about being put in this position, though a poor decision was made."

Honestly, I would tell the OP to try to get the medical bills paid for by the owner of the dog, however if it were to go to court, the OP would likely lose. I can't imagine a judge that would award someone money when they chose to go into a dangerous house knowing about the dog. To me, this is like suing someone because the TV you tried to steal from them landed on you and broke your leg.

Yes, I am sorry, and the situation was awful. Poor choices were made by many different people, and hopefully now better decisions will be made next time. It is all done with now, so those involved can only learn and move on. There's no point in placing blame anymore. It's over with.


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

It's not being judgmental as much as it is holding someone accountable. Like I said it was a given that she'd be bit and the mom basically said it, everyone here said it, she completely ignored all of that and now everyone here is apologetic. I don't get it.


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

Pytheis said:


> thegooseman90 said:
> 
> 
> > Guys please forgive me ahead of time because I know the stance I'm about to take is going to be unpopular. But why is anyone apologizing and feeing sorry for the op? She's just as guilty, or more so even, than the mom here. At least in her case(the partners mom) according to the op, the mother said she would not put the dog away and the dog had previously bit the op. I didn't see a single post here that suggested op goes back and visits the family, so idk why she's shocked or we're sorry. Yea it sucks to be bit by a dog but she knew it was going to happen and everyone here said so. She ignored all of it and, big shocker, she got bit again. Honestly I think half the posters of these threads come here and ask for advice only to do the opposite of what was advised. So now we have another gsd bite to make the dogs look bad because neither party was responsible enough to avoid it.
> ...


 well said. That's where my frustration stems from because ultimately the breed will be blamed if there's enough of these bites, even tho the majority of them can be avoided.


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## carmspack (Feb 2, 2011)

and now ------- something doesn't sit right with me .

see thread http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/aggression-good-bad-ugly/678954-meeting-dog-first-time.htm


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

"Thanks" to my childhood it took me 40 years and a 7 year abusive relationship to be able to stand up for myself and to finally be happy. Situations like these are great learning experiences. If you don't get it the first time, life tends to give you repeat opportunities until you do. In this case it took a second bite. I hope he/she will not get a bone infection and choose better partners in the future. 
OP good luck, heal well and cheers to the future!


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## Hineni7 (Nov 8, 2014)

Link doesn't work...


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

Doesn't work for me either. Interested to see whats there


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

http://www.germanshepherds.com/foru...ing-dog-first-time.html#/topics/678954?page=1

See if this one will work. You may have to copy and paste it


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## Hineni7 (Nov 8, 2014)

Perfect.. Thanks for the link


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

carmspack said:


> and now ------- something doesn't sit right with me .
> 
> see thread http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/aggression-good-bad-ugly/678954-meeting-dog-first-time.htm


OP explain?


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

Ok I am kind of missing the issue here. The op had pointed to the first experience early in this thread linking directly to the first experience. It was the first experience that led everyone to say not to go back. Not sure what else needs to be discussed here.....


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## cheffjapman (Jun 8, 2017)

OP actually linked to that post in the very top post. OP stated that this was the second time they were going to see the dog.


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## Deb (Nov 20, 2010)

I don't think going after the OP is going to help anything. Has no one been pressured by boyfriend/girlfriend or family to do something they don't want to? Knew wasn't a good thing to do but don't want to jeopardize a relationship, loose something or someone by saying no? Life happens. Sometimes we make good decisions and sometimes it's a matter of hindsight is 20/20, especially when we look back at it years later. Why be so judgmental?


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