# Shy/Assertive make up your mind



## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

I will admit that my dog is weak-nerved. She is shy with other dogs until she knows they are not aggressive. Once she knows this she becomes very playful. When playing she tends to be assertive/dominant. She won't allow herself to be caught or pinned but she will attempt to assert herself by pinning or grabbing the snout of the other dog(s). She loves chasing and being chased and if the other dog stops chasing her she will aggravate or chase the other dog until it get P.O.ed enough to chase her. She can't make up her mind if she is weak nerved or dominant. Can you?


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

That sounds like my poodle, she adores people but she can be dog dominant with larger dogs. She either runs away and snarls, or can sometimes jump and snap at them because she gets nervous.

She's doing ok with the new puppy so far, he outweighs her by a few pounds and has tried to pin her which I don't allow. She will play with him but on HER terms lol She'll initiate a game of tag and will run around him and egg him on to chase her, but if he catches her (which is very rare at the moment) she turns around and snaps at him, he backs up with a WTH expression


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Abby does not run away and/or snarl. She doesn't snap. She wouldn't bite down on another dog, she just uses her mouth as they do in play. She just waits to make sure the other dog is 'safe' otherwise she just stands off.
I take it back about snapping. She will snap out of frustration if she can't catch the other dog but it is more in protest than aggression.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I am curious as to what is your reaction (with/to her) when she meets other dogs?


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

The “D word” and Social Relationships in Dogs TheOtherEndoftheLeash



> *PERSONALITY MATTERS:* Besides an interest in status, the personality (that’s temperament + life experience) of each dog surely makes a huge difference in their behavior around other dogs. There are dogs out there who are what I call “alpha wanna-bees” — status seeking, controlling BUT insecure and nervous. They turn into the bullies of the world, the canine equivalent of a boss from **** who wants to control all the resources but doesn’t have the chops to do much of anything with confidence.


Plus lots more interesting stuff there! 

I think she talks about that more in her blog's title book?


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## Clyde (Feb 13, 2011)

Perhaps she does not want to be in a vulnerable position while playing because she is not truly comfortable. So she tries really hard to control the play.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Lilie said:


> I am curious as to what is your reaction (with/to her) when she meets other dogs?


I am a pretty calm guy. At least, that's what everyone tells me.
I keep a loose leash and see what she is going to do... but not so loose as to lack control if necessary.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Clyde said:


> Perhaps she does not want to be in a vulnerable position while playing because she is not truly comfortable. So she tries really hard to control the play.


That's a possibility, although she doesn't try TOO hard.

As for the alpha wannabe, I wouldn't rule that out. 
Seems to fit somewhat to her behavior.


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## TrickyShepherd (Aug 15, 2011)

Zira is like this in a way too. Except that she isn't shy... she's a social butterfly. However, she is an "Alpha wanna be". She will play dominant until she gets pushed down, then she plays the "submissive innocent victim". She has weak nerves, and from what I understand is the type that still fights for Alpha, but just can't keep the title. She's confused and not sure where she belongs, so she goes back and forth.

Zira also hates when dogs pin her or when the tables are turned. She gets annoyed, scared, and then angry.... eventually she yelps and runs away.... but then goes RIGHT back again! She is notorious for picking at other dogs to chase and run with her, or try to take her toy..... she will do this until she literally makes them very annoyed and even then she will not let up. 

I don't consider her dominant... I see Zira as confused and weak nerved. Kind of like a person who is very insecure with themselves.... they pick on others or try too hard to be the top of the group to establish a fake confidence... when inside, they lack that entirely. This shows once they are knocked down from their false 'high horse'... they fall apart once challenged.

Not saying your dog is the same... never met her. Just something that sounds similar.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

TrickyShepherd said:


> Just something that sounds similar.


A lot of commonality. No dog has ever been able to catch/pin Abby so it is hard to tell what would happen there but likely to be the same as Zira.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

PaddyD said:


> I am a pretty calm guy. At least, that's what everyone tells me.
> I keep a loose leash and see what she is going to do... but not so loose as to lack control if necessary.


She is always so tuned into you. I'm wondering if she is looking for direction from you.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Lilie said:


> She is always so tuned into you. I'm wondering if she is looking for direction from you.


Partially true. But she is pretty much her own 'person'.


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## Clyde (Feb 13, 2011)

PaddyD said:


> She won't allow herself to be caught or pinned but she will attempt to assert herself by pinning or grabbing the snout of the other dog(s).





PaddyD said:


> No dog has ever been able to catch/pin


This is why I say she is trying hard. It is normal for dogs to switch rolls in play so if she does not do this it is on purpose. One on top for a while then they switch. My pushy young shepherd when he is trying super hard to play with my Catahoula often throws himself on his back and underneath Clyde to get Clyde to play really rough with him. It is almost like he is helping Clyde to roll him because it is so fun. Clyde on the other hand gets uncomfortable if he is down for to long because he is not as comfortable being so vulnerable I imagine.


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