# Having a Terrible Time Trying to Make the Decision



## Tala (Nov 14, 2002)

I'm having a terrible time trying to decide if I should make the choice to have my Tala go over the rainbow bridge. She's 13 and has been going through slow nerve degeneration in her back legs/hips for the last year. She can still walk but it's a stumbling gait and she can no longer climb any stairs, only hop up the one step on the back deck where the ground is close enough for her to do so to get into the house. Twice over the last month her back legs have essentially given out and she could not walk for a few minutes while she rested. I also feel horrible for her as she can't scratch herself with her back legs anymore.....I groom and brush her, but still...is it enough?

She's on medication to help her with loss of bladder control and she has no concept anymore that she has to poop anymore so I constantly have to watch her for 'the signs' and then rush her out the door before she has an accident in the house. House accidents unfortunately have been happening regularly. She's always been a horribly picky eater but seems to be getting a bit more-so and has lead to some weight loss. She lays down most of the day and sleeps a lot. 

The problem is her mind is still sharp and she 'wants' to do things....it's her body that's slowly giving out. If I ask if she wants to go for a walk (ok, if I shout as she's somewhat deaf now too) she wants to go. If I hold up a ball she wants to play...she just can't do it much. She tries to run after the ball by bounding like a rabbit with her back legs, but she manages. 

I can spend more time with her now that it's summer, but when things pick up again in the fall I won't be able to as much. 

*Sigh* Is it time?

Tala's Mom


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## jewels04 (Jul 20, 2012)

I am always a firm believer in you will know when it is time. Have you spoken to her vet on his opinion? I am so sorry you have to make this decision it is so very hard to do.


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## TaZoR (Jan 26, 2012)

Its such a hard decision but from what you are describing I wouldn't wait too long. My husband waited longer with my last gsd SlimShady and I feel bad and guilty that I wasn't more insistant. I think Shady's last days were probably horrible for him because my husband wasn't ready. I know he didn't purposely do anything wrong but ugh, that dog devoted his entire life to pleasing us and I allowed suffering. He, like your dog tried to the end and was incontinent and had accidents that made him feel bad. He couldn't get around and was quite blind banging into things. He had tumors and many many problems. His body had given out and I couldn't take away his pain as soon as he needed.

I think you know your dog. She was a precious gift and if god is calling her back theres nothing you can do. Consider the silver tears you cry as payment for his loan. Your heart will always have a hole that you can only fill with precious memories. To add her suffering to those memories will hinder your healing. 

I cannot advise you that today, tomorrow, or even next month is the correct time, but I can advise putting it off will ultimately hurt b
both of you.


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## KatsMuse (Jun 5, 2012)

jewels04 said:


> I am always a firm believer in you will know when it is time. Have you spoken to her vet on his opinion? I am so sorry you have to make this decision it is so very hard to do.


I agree with this...speak to the vet.

I will tell you about my last situation, concerning our beloved Katie.

Katie was a GSD rescue we saved and loved dearly. She was one of the most loving dogs we've ever had. Unfortunately, she developed most of the problems you have described here. I personally could not bear to see her suffer any longer...my personal beliefs of quality over quantity of life are clear for me. 
After many vet visits and meds, I knew when it was time.

My hubby, on the other hand , couldn't let her go. Hubby took her to the vet and came back home with her and even more meds. I called the vet and he stated that hubby wasn't ready to let her go so the vet gave her more meds..._I think he did that more for hubby than Katie _

It was agonizing for me to watch her suffer but, I gave it one more month. 

Her breathing became so labored from the meds that I ended up taking her to the vet by myself for her last time. (Hubby could not bear to go and said his goodbyes here at home) 

I sat on the floor with her and held her until she fell asleep. I think she knew and she was ready...  

I had her cremated and her ashes now sit on our bookshelf with our other beloved GSDs...we both still come to tears when we think of them all.

I Know the heartache you must be going through and I'm so sorry for your pain...no one here can tell you what to do.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

I do believe that you will know when its time. The problem is that we have to decide if we are being selfish by keeping the dog around or if the dog is truly ready to go. Its an awful decision to make and it is heartbreaking I almost think that the dog will let you know, something will happen that will make you look into that dogs eyes and you will see how tired she is. I did this with my lab, I kept going back and forth, he wasn't suffering, but he looked tired. Finally he had a stroke and I knew that it was time to let him go when I was down the block and he was laying there and I couldn't move him. I sat with him for about 1/2 hour rubbing him, kissing him, and crying. We had a nice long talk(as silly as that sounds) and I took him the next day. Oddly enough the next day he seemed to look and feel better then before, almost like he knew he was going to a better place. The other animals in the house knew too, because each cat went up to him, rubbed up against him, and gave him a kiss...I have pictures of two of them doing this(one never bothered with him and this day he did). Yep they know


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## Freestep (May 1, 2011)

I went through this with my dog Storm... she was deaf, mostly blind, suffering from DM and bouts with vestibular syndrome... she still had a good appetite and still "wanted" to do everything... but her body just wouldn't let her. 

It got to the point where I just had to pick a day and make the appointment to put her down. She was 16 years old, and wasn't going to get any better... only worse.

One day, she couldn't get up. I took her outside and stood her up, encouraging her to walk, and she just fell over. I knew it was time. Fortunately I had a vet willing to come to the house. When the vet arrived, Storm didn't even lift her head. She passed to the rainbow bridge with a big, deep sigh of relief, and I knew I'd made the right decision.


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## mrsbuggs (Dec 28, 2010)

i am sorry for this terrible decision you have to make as i had to make the same one this weekend, appt with vet monday morn..like everyone says you will know when its time, your dog will tell you


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

I think making the decision is what is the hardest part, only because I know personally I feel like I'm playing God. I think some of us seriously hope the dog passes on its own, with no help. I know that is what I wish for, because I don't want to feel any guilt.


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## Zeeva (Aug 10, 2010)

I feel for you. My good thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't advise you but I do believe you'll do what's best for your dog and yourself. Either way, don't ever regret your decision. <3 All the best.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I also feel you will know when the time is right..Unfortunately what makes the decision even harder, is, our dogs minds stay sharp but their bodies give out 

I'm so sorry your going thru this, cherish every day


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## MaggieRoseLee (Aug 17, 2001)

JakodaCD OA said:


> I also feel you will know when the time is right..Unfortunately what makes the decision even harder, is, our dogs minds stay sharp but their bodies give out
> 
> I'm so sorry your going thru this, cherish every day


It's never easy for any of us, but I try to not be selfish and think of myself and how much I will miss my dog, or how guilty I will feel.

Instead I try to remember how much I love my dog, and what will be best for her. Quality of life and all that involves.

aw:


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

My 12.5 yo has a back problem and has a hard time getting around. I purchased a harness for him and give him some help on the stairs and sometimes getting into our bed. It works great and it makes our life easier.
He still enjoys eating, fetching (I have to limit that), snuggling, even though physical activities are harder for him. He has had an occasional accident, I am glad to clean it up, he is worth it.
I won't let him suffer, but he is nowhere near ready to go. He has a strong will to live and I will support him.


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## Kath & Clan (Jun 6, 2012)

I am sorry you are having to go this part of having animals, sometimes even part of having humans. Do all things for the right reason and find peace in that. Wishing you the best.


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

I do not think you should wait much longer. My parents had a greyhound that they loved dearly. He started to show signs of arthritis/ degeneration in his spine and they continued to treat him. More steroids, more pain meds. He continued to get worse but because his mind was still strong they couldn't accept it and continued on.

One morning my mother woke up to find him laying at the bottom of the stairs, completely paralyzed. He was panicked, screaming and bloody. He had torn up his skin in his desperation to get up but couldn't. It was heartbreaking. I ended up being off work that day and went with my mom to the vet. The vet came out to the car to put him to sleep as there was no way we could get him inside. The dog was in such a panic there was no time to even sedate him. He was panting and screaming off and on from pain and terror. It was HORRIBLE and traumatic for everyone. The dog would only settle down when he was held by my mom or I. I held him while the vet gave him the shot as my mom was just crying too hard. I held him and talked to him. He went quickly. 

When Tessa's body started to fail her, I waited until she could no longer get up the steps or get in the car by herself and started becoming incontinent. Her mind was still good but I did not want a repeat of what happened with my mom's dog. I took Tessa in and held her on my lap. There was time to sedate her first and then give her the final shot. It was peaceful. 

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Each and every minute you have left is a gift.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I have seen quite a few dogs over the years that enjoyed life even though they needed assistance with stairs and cars. I don't think the screaming and getting all bloody is typical. There is a lot between the two extremes.


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## Tala (Nov 14, 2002)

Thank you everyone for your kind words. This really is a horrible choice to have to make after having a companion for so long. 

I know it's only a matter of time at this point, and all the issues Tala is having are things I'm taking into account. One thing though is that I don't think she's actually in a whole lot of pain. She is on anti inflammatory meds which seem to be keeping any discomfort under control....but she has started having good and bad days. It stresses me out so much when I see she's having a bad day, or when she doesn't eat for a period of time. I'm having a hard time trying to gauge her quality of life. I wish I could just ask her "Are you happy, is everything ok?" *sigh*


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

i think if you're asking is it time then it's not the time.
your dog will let you know when it's time. get a harness
to support your dog when she's walking.


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