# Figuring out the right time



## TooSmartDuke

Hello all, 

I'm very new to GermanShepherds.com. I have a 11 year old German Shepherd named Duke. I've had him since I was in middle school (I'm out of college now). About a year ago he started to slow down. He first started leaving a turd here and there overnight in the bedroom. It happened once every week, then 2-3 times a week, and now multiple times a day regardless of how many times he goes on a walk. More recently he's lost control of his urine as well. I moved from my parents home about a year ago into an apartment so he wouldn't have the struggle of walking on hard-wood flooring & have a low-stress environment (we had 4 GSD's total). 

He has lost most use of his back legs and has started having issues with one of his front legs. He limps due to the issues hes having with one of his front legs, and can't get up if he starts pooping. I don't think he knows he's defecating. He still seems pretty happy; he'll still walk at a fast pace chasing his ball, and wag his tail. Unfortunately, I live on the second floor of my apartment building and he has been having difficulty going up and down the stairs. I try my best to keep him steady, but sometimes he will stumble (never falling). 

I had an important wedding this past weekend and had my roommate watch him. When I arrived he didn't even greet me at the door or wag his tail. This is very unlike him. He's always been very excited to see me. This scares me because I know the time is coming, I'm just not sure when that is yet. 

When I moved into the apartment I started having issues with worms. I believe another dog in the complex has worms and is being left untreated ultimately spreading the issue. I give my dog monthly de-worming medication that the vet suggested after I saw a worm in his stool. He's now having diarrhea multiple times a week regardless of the medication. I've spoken with my vet and we are trying another course of action. I've moved my pup back to his original home at my parents and I am staying there with him to see if there is any improvement. 

This has been very stressful. I just want to do what's right for my sweet boy. With all the issues hes having; incontinence, arthritis in his back legs, stiffness in his front; I'm trying to decide what to do. I do believe he is still enjoying his life, although it is much harder now than ever. I would like to know what people have done in similar situations. 

There is a picture of him attached!!
Thank you,
Joey


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## pyratemom

Your boy is beautiful. If it is mostly the incontinence issues you can get big dog diapers, both male and female styles are available. Glad he doesn't have to do the stairs at your apartment now, it was probably very hard on him. You will know when the time comes and sometimes that happens overnight so for now just enjoy him, keep him as comfortable as possible and give him all his favorite foods to keep him healthy. When my boy was only 9 he told me it was time and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I sat with him all night and sat on the floor of the vets office the next morning with him as he left me. I have his ashes and a big hole in my heart but he will always be my heart dog no matter how much I love other dogs I own. I still tear up at his memories occasionally but mostly I remember the love and the good times so never forget the good times. In the end, his spirit will remain with you until you meet again at the Rainbow Bridge. :hugs:


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## RZZNSTR

Beautiful boy! I think you may be able to work through some of this for the time being.


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## zyppi

Handsome old man!

No one online knows Duke like you do and no one can really tell you when and what to do.

You need to feel that you're in charge and that you are the one that knows when it's kinder to ease him over.

It will be hard, no matter when.

Share with your parents, vet and others that know you and Duke and ask how they feel and what they see.

No one on this forum would ( I hope ) ever criticize your decision but most all will know how hard this is for you and be praying for you to know when .


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## zx5go

I am so sorry to hear about Duke. Let your love for him guide your decision and remember this is ultimately a decision about what is best for Duke. From my own experience I can say to cherish what time you do have left, keep him comfortable, make some more good memories and Duke will let you know.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Duke is a beautiful boy. You have done so much to help him and are doing everything to make him comfortable. there is a thread on the forum Quality of life . If you type it into the search engine for the site you should be able to find it. Jean Brinkman who is a moderator here is a great resource for senior GSDs. There are so many threads on the senior section of this forum. My thoughts and prayers are w/ you and Duke. Does the vet think the worms could be causing the bowel and urination problems? Just wondering as his issues seemed to come on so fast.Take care 
Maggi


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## Nikitta

You will know. You will see it in his eyes. I'm SO sorry that your beautiful dog is failing. It never gets any easier but you are one of the good ones who will take him to the end. I despise people who dump old dogs in shelters. You are a special person.


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## wyoung2153

I have not had to go through this yet, Titan is only 5 yrs old, and he is my first GSD on my own..

I have read elsewhere, with people struggling with this to keep a diary for 2 weeks to a month. Every day write down whether it was a good day or a bad day for Duke. After that time, look at which outweighs which and go from there. 

For incontinence, you can try diapers and also if he can take pills, Proin-75 is what my parents use for their 12 year old Chocolate Lab who has the same issues. It really helps her. Also, for the stairs, is it hard on him because of the front leg that is injured or are it his back legs giving out a little? I have usually heard it's the rear that gives more.. anyways, is there a way for you to take the pressure off the area as you go down? Carry or use a harness to lift that portion of his body? I have seen people use a harness with handles to lift the back end for going down or up things when they are struggling. 

Just some thoughts. I know this is rough, I am so sorry you are having these tough feelings right now. He's very andsome by the way and looks happy :hugs:


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## newlie

So sorry about Duke. I think most of us have some idea what you are going through as we have had to face similar decisions with our own dogs. It is heartbreaking and honestly was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But my Max never knew what was coming, he just thought he was being visited by a nice lady who petted him and gave him treats. He just went to sleep and died in my arms,

Maybe it not time yet for Duke to go, but you will have to make that decision. There are things in the meantime that can help you make it easier for him. For Max, I used a sling harness to support his back legs so I could help him walk, ramps so that he did not have to manage any stairs, diapers for the incontinence and the vet prescribed pain medicine for all the arthritis and stiffness. He also kept me in a small supply of steroids which I used only when Max was really having trouble with his back legs and they made a big difference. I feel sure that other posters will have more suggestions.

It is plain that you love Duke so be guided by that love to make the best decision that you can for him. Just remember he will never really die as long as you hold him in your heart.


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## Pepper311

I am in the SAME boat with our Old Pitbull. He has really bad arthritic in his shoulders. Along with Neurological degeneration, and is becoming paralyzed in his back end. He too poops in the house and seems to have no clue he is about to poo. It is really sad. We have almost put him down 2 times this month. The reason we have not is because it's summer. He loves summer. He still enjoys being outside in the sun. I can still see some love for live in his eyes. He poops in the house 2 or 3 times a week. We have a nice yard and he is outside all day. If we had an apartment it would be very hard to keep meatball happy. Being outside keeps him happy.

When that love for life is gone that's when it is time. Meatballs eyes and ears are not very good he relays on hearing the other dogs bark. Indy our little dog has become meatballs ears. So the fact that your dog did not come to see you could be due to the fact he did not know you were there. 

They have good days and bad. You need to make sure they still feel ok and are not suffering. 

I had to say good bye to my first dog almost 5 years ago. Pepper was her name she was 16 years old and I got her in 7th grade. She even was there for me when I had my first Child. I was changing my dogs Diapers and my babies Diapers it was interesting. The day I said good bye to her was the worst day ever. I thought I was ready. She was losing weight her body was shutting down I could see. BUT she could still get around pretty well for 16. Pepper in the end just would lay in one place most of the day. The word Walk was nothing to her any more. When I came home she would not ever move. Her quality of life was bad. Her mind was going the most. 

It is so hard no one can tell you when it is time. One thing I can say is if you can afford it get the vet to come to your home to put the dog down. Going to the vets to have a dog put down is the WORST! Its so hard on you and really hard on the dog. I will never do that again.


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## TooSmartDuke

*Update on Duke*

Well Folks,

Duke's bowel problem has gotten a lot better, but earlier today while I was at work my roommate told me he's been seeing blood in his urine. I'm taking him to my vet this evening to see what they say. Good friends and family say it is time...

Any words of wisdom?

Thank you, 
Joey


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## Jenny720

I think you will no when its time. Loosing bladder function is part of old age. Frustrating yes. They do have diapers for dogs and there is medicine the vet can prescribe for incontinence. Im not sure how well it works but it may help. Maybe you can gate him off in a certain are if he cant control his urine. A non slip rug may help him get up if he has trouble on the wood floors. Once they stop eating and or unable to get up and walk around then there is no quality of life. There is pain medication for dogs that may help for a little while and make him. More comfortable. You know your dog best it is never a easy decision. I have been there and it is a terrible decision to make but it is even worse to watch them suffer. He knows you will do whats best for him. I agree, when it is time, having the vet come to you makes the process alot less stressful and private.


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## newlie

When YOU feel it's time, and if Duke is not suffering, you might take him home for a day or two and make the time special for the two of you. Feed him the things he loves, let him sleep on the bed with you, cuddle him, talk him for some short walks, spend time with him doing things he would love. After that, see if you can have a vet come to your home to do the actual procedure. If they have been providing this service for very long, they will know what to bring and what to do. Make sure you get a vet who is willing to take the time to pet him a little and give him some treats so he is not scared. Then, hold him in your arms and tell him how much you love him while he slips away.


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## Pepper311

I am so so so sorry. Having to say goodbye is the wroth part of having a dog in your life. I hope you can make sure you pick a day where you don't have to work like a weekend. Because the day you do it you will be a mess. 

Again I am so sorry I know how hard this is.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Joey my thoughts are w/ you . I know you are doing everything possible for Duke.Take care.
Maggi


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## middleofnowhere

Friends and family often do not know. Is Duke still happy? Do you still see the joy in his eyes?

Physically, accupuncture & chiropractic did wonders to keep my two old ones mobile and happy. 

With the late Barker the Elder, I knew she wasn't ready as long as she was delighted to go to the barn and see the horse. So long as she enjoyed her time at the barn I was not going to intervene with euthanasia. Yup we had incontenent issues, we had loss of mobility - she loved the barn, she loved the horse.


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## DogWalker

I second what Zyppi said. Talk with others that know both you and Duke (he is gorgeous!). Sometimes that extra perspective can help temper a decision you will be making during an extremely stressful moment in your life. My wife help me see that my pal still had a will to continue on (even thought she was quite sick) and I had three more wonderful months with her.

I wish the best for you and Duke. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.


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## TooSmartDuke

*Another Update*

Hello everyone,

A month or so ago I took Duke to the vet and he weighed 67lbs. This was so shocking and sad to me. Just a year before he weighed 90lbs. My vet said it was actually better for him because if he weighed much more he would have more issues walking and such. 

I was out of the country for two weeks and came home to see him. He seems much smaller now than he did before I left. He is very happy to see me and enjoyed walking around the backyard with me while I threw a stick for him. His posture has changed quite a bit in the last few months. Here is a picture of him I took today. 

Any thoughts about him is much appreciated. Thank you for taking your time to read this.


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## JessAndHerWolf

I hope Duke is doing better. I don't have any great advice, as I have only been a GSD owner for a few months, but you know him best and only you can know when the joy has gone from his days. He loves you and trusts you to make that judgment call. Best wishes and I will pray for you both!


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## Biznitch15

I wish you and duke the best.


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## Chip18

I am so sorry at some point if we're lucky, we all have to go through losing a dog form old age. Lot's of Boxer owners don't get that chance saddly....

The only thing I can say that may or may not be useful is as long is the dog is not in pain and still enjoys life they can hang on. When they have no interest in food or water ...it's time to let go.

Don't know if that's helpful but it's what I did with Struddell, that day finally came and then I knew it was time to say goodbye.  

Sorry for your pain, stay strong.


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## TooSmartDuke

*The time has come*

I had to schedule my home euthanasia visit today for next Wednesday at 2pm. My heart hurts just thinking of the moment I will have to go through with ending my pup's life. 

I know it is for the best now, but I hate being the one to decide it is over for him. He has lived a long, loving life, and he will be surrounded by those who love him dearly. I am planning to make his last week very special for him & spoil him with lots of love, food, and good company. If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do the last few days for a old dog who cannot walk well, please let me know!

Lots of love


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## SuperG

Yeah...it sucks, no doubt. Duke's lucky to have you take him to the end of this road. Seems like Duke did you justice, so let him know your happiness for his service...send him off with that emotion of yours in spite of the hardship...your sadness is Duke's sadness, so do your best to the very end to let Duke know how damned well he did. Easier said than done but there is plenty of time for sadness after you say goodbye. It's tough but it's a wonderful last effort for such a deserving companion.

Take care,

SuperG


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## selzer

Stay with him during the procedure. Do not let yourself go in front of him. Tell him what a good boy he is. Do this for Duke. It is the last gift you can give your boy.


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## Nigel

If he would enjoy it and can manage it, maybe take him on some trips in the car or pull him around in a wagon so he can relax and take in the different scent and sounds. Sorry you're at this point in Dukes journey with you.


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## newlie

My heart breaks for you.

Do whatever you can to bring Duke joy. The kind of food he likes ( and can tolerate), roll a ball to him, cuddle him, brush his coat, little trips in the car if it can be managed..

At the end, hold him in your arms, stroke him gently, tell him how much you love him and what a good boy he has always been. Let the sound of your voice and the touch of your hands be the last thing he knows before he drifts peacefully off to sleep.


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## pyratemom

Crying tears as I type this as I empathize with your pain. I would give him whatever food he loves that his body can stand. Gentle massages with a soft brush and loving words. Visits from any humans that he particularly likes so they can talk to him and pet him. Play movies with dogs in them if he likes tv. If he can take it, car rides would be nice so he can get out and smell smells and see things in the neighborhood. My heart weeps for you as I too have done this way too many times. Hugs.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

I am so sorry you and Duke are going through this. It is so hard to balance the quality of life questions. The at home is in my opinion the best way. the car rides and the food and the massages . all are so helpful for both you ,his loved ones and Duke. My thoughts are w/ you .
Maggi


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## middleofnowhere

I'm glad you can spend this time with him. That's important for both of you.


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## Mister C

SuperG said:


> ... Seems like Duke did you justice, so let him know your happiness for his service...send him off with that emotion of yours in spite of the hardship...your sadness is Duke's sadness, so do your best to the very end to let Duke know how damned well he did. Easier said than done but there is plenty of time for sadness after you say goodbye. It's tough but it's a wonderful last effort for such a deserving companion.
> 
> Take care,
> 
> SuperG





selzer said:


> Stay with him during the procedure. Do not let yourself go in front of him. Tell him what a good boy he is. Do this for Duke. It is the last gift you can give your boy.


I feel for you and Duke. This is a hard road.

Wonderful advice above. This is what I did when we put Maddie down at our home. It was extremely difficult to stay upbeat and joyful for my old girl. But she deserved it and so does Duke. After she left me I totally lost it.


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## Sabis mom

selzer said:


> Stay with him during the procedure. Do not let yourself go in front of him. Tell him what a good boy he is. Do this for Duke. It is the last gift you can give your boy.


 
Agree. When I took Sabi in, they gave her the sedative and left me for a few minutes. She was laying beside me with her head in my lap. I told her it was ok, she was the best and she could go now, that I would be ok. She was already gone when the vet came back with the needle, she was just waiting for me to tell her it was ok. 
Been down this road too many times, be with Duke and blessings to you both.


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