# She's Dying Slowly, what can I Do?



## Konotashi

I'm in a predicament. My boyfriend's 73 year old uncle's dog Sally is about 14 years old and her time is up. She has a rampant ear infection that appears to have spread to her eye. She has lost a significant amount of weight, and she's just lying in the yard suffering now. 

The problem is, his uncle wants to let nature take its course and let her pass away on her own. My boyfriend and I both know that she's suffering, but (as much as I love him), he's a stubborn old man and there is no reasoning with him sometimes, so there's nothing we can do. 

I'm not willing to call the Humane Society on him for personal reasons. 

Does anyone have any advice for what we could possibly do?


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## Franksmom

I'm not an expert but I think this is what I would do.
I would stay with her as much as possible, and do what ever you can to make her physically comfortable, if you can get ear/eye drops for her then I would do that, and if not then maybe cleaning her ears and eyes with a warm wet cloth might help. 
If you think she's in pain would he let a vet give you something to give her for pain?
Any kind of food she would eat, when you reach that age it doesn't really matter if it's healthy just that she'll eat it. 
Make sure everything is in her reach water etc. 
I hope everything resolves quickly for her sake.


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## 1sttimeforgsd

What Franksmom said sounded like an excellent suggestion. Poor baby after all those years it is not right to let one suffer if the pain can be eased or to be put down so that she can go on to the Rainbow Bridge and run free. Sad.


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## Anja1Blue

This sort of thing always floors me, and makes me mad. People who wouldn't put up with this kind of thing for one minute if it were happening to them will allow their companion animals to suffer - right up to the end. And while we don't advocate putting people to sleep, we do try to make them as comfortable and pain free as possible, so if he were my uncle I'd be giving him a very hard time for what he is doing to his dog. Your BF needs to take control of the situation and see that she receives the appropriate medical care, even if it means a showdown. You can't force him to euthanize her, but at the very least she should be receiving medication for her ears, which have to be VERY VERY painful. Ask this insensitive person what he thinks it would be like to have ears and eyes in that condition, be dying, and not be getting any help. 

In the meantime, the above advice is good, though she may not want you touching her ears, and she may not want to eat. (If you use a warm cloth be careful not to get a lot of moisture in her ears - water on top of an infection would not be a good thing.) Try the tastiest food you can find (not kibble, something moist, maybe a little cooked chicken or hamburger, or a good quality canned dog food) and don't force it if she doesn't want anything, water is more important at this point. If she is outside, (she shouldn't be, she should be inside and out of the elements) make sure she is in a protected area and has something comfortable to lay on. Spend as much time with her as you can - but with or without his permission you need to get something from the vet for the pain. Thank you for caring about her!
________________________________________
Susan

Anja SchH3 GSD
Conor GSD
Blue BH WH T1 GSD - waiting at the Bridge :angel:


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN

If he can get permission to take her to the vet - she can get some pain management. Pain management in the form of a narcotic like tramadol (which they might not give to you) can really help. 

IF she is suffering and in pain - something absolutely has to be done because it's simply cruel. Hospice is done in humans - his idea of letting nature take its course has a model (because we are legally bound to stay alive) and in that model is significant help for pain and discomfort, palliative care. 

May be time to take a stand on behalf of this poor animal. A veterinarian could help to assess her condition beyond what you are seeing. It is possible her laying around is simply what she wants to do, and by ridding her of the ear and eye issues she might actually have good quality of life for a while. But it would take a vet to help you figure that out.


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## Jelpy

Does the uncle leave the house at all? My underhanded advice would be to wait until he'll be gone for awhile and get a vet to come out and euthanize her. You'd have to find a vet to do it (Or take the dog in while he's gone) and then let him discover she has 'passed' on his own. 

Jelpy and the mesquite mafia


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## crackem

This is what pisses me off. It is NOT any of your dogs. Mind your own busniness once and a while. 

I wouldn't make a dog suffer like this, but it is NOT my dog, nor MY decision to make. It's not your's either.

Seriously, wait till he's gone and have a vet come out and kill the man's dog?


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## kiya

Do you know of a vet that could come to his house to examine her? I am going thru this with my horse. I just had the vet come again yesterday to
examine him. He does't feel he's suffering but agrees with me that I need to make arrangements soon. We agreed to double his bute (pain med) until then. So maybe hearing from a vet would make him have a heart.


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## Zeusismydog

If you cant get any pain meds for the poor girl try some MSM. I agree she should be out of the weather. You might also try flavoring the water with a little broth (chicken or beef). Be careful how she reacts when you try and clean her ears. I am sure they are painful. Also try and give her a soft bed of something. If nothing else go and get some straw for her to lay on (I would prefer a real bed but if that is all you can do it is better than nothing). Thank you for trying to help her.


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## WarrantsWifey

Poor girl, you probably have, but do you think if you talk to him again and try to explain to him the extent of her suffering and what the PUP would want. Suffering isn't right.... However I don't think the vet will do anything for you....


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## CassandGunnar

If you can find a vet in your area that makes house calls and try and set something up for a time when the uncle will be there.
He may be holding on to the dog because of his feelings and maybe having a 3rd party vet tell him will help cut through the fog and see what is best for the dog.
I've been close to holding on to a dog for too long because of how I felt, not considering what the dog was going through. Sometimes, it's hard to find the right way/person/thing to get through that.
Keep trying for the sake of the animal that is suffering.

I do agreee that no one has the right to euthanize someone elses animal unless there are drastic circumstances.
Good luck.


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## Jelpy

crackem said:


> This is what pisses me off. It is NOT any of your dogs. Mind your own busniness once and a while.
> 
> I wouldn't make a dog suffer like this, but it is NOT my dog, nor MY decision to make. It's not your's either.
> 
> Seriously, wait till he's gone and have a vet come out and kill the man's dog?


Um yeah. If he was starving the dog to death hopefully you'd call the SPCA to come help. Or would you let the animal slowly starve because it's 'not MY business'? If he was beating the dog with a stick would you step or or decide to stay out of it because 'it's not my business'? At what point does the behavior become sufficiently egregious that you're actually willing to exert the effort to do something? If the dog is dying and his only concern is to save a few bucks for a vet; I would have no hesitation about this route. Obviously it makes no difference to the man as long as he doesn't have to be bothered. What he's doing is cruel, plain and simple, even if he doesn't see it. 

Jelpy and the Mesquite Mafia


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## LaRen616

Jelpy said:


> If he was starving the dog to death hopefully you'd call the SPCA to come help. Or would you let the animal slowly starve because it's 'not MY business'? If he was beating the dog with a stick would you step or or decide to stay out of it because 'it's not my business'? At what point does the behavior become sufficiently egregious that you're actually willing to exert the effort to do something? If the dog is dying and his only concern is to save a few bucks for a vet; I would have no hesitation about this route. Obviously it makes no difference to the man as long as he doesn't have to be bothered. What he's doing is cruel, plain and simple, even if he doesn't see it.
> 
> Jelpy and the Mesquite Mafia


Exactly!

I reported the neighbors I used to live next to. I saw them kick their dog, I saw the kids ram their bike tires into the dog house trying to hit the dog, I watched them put the dog on a trampoline and bounce the poor thing high up in the air, I watched them choke it by holding it up off the ground with it's leash, I called the cops on them more than once.

I dont give a crap who's dog it is, if they are neglecting it, I will stick my nose in their business and do something about it. 

Anyone that sits back and watches it or turns their head is a worthless piece of crap IMO and a waste of life.


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## WarrantsWifey

crackem said:


> This is what pisses me off. It is NOT any of your dogs. Mind your own busniness once and a while.
> 
> I wouldn't make a dog suffer like this, but it is NOT my dog, nor MY decision to make. It's not your's either.
> 
> Seriously, wait till he's gone and have a vet come out and kill the man's dog?


If it was a child would you turn your back like that?! Just because it's a DOG, you'd let it be neglected??


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## Lilie

I have a friend who's elder Grandfather did much the same thing to his old poodle. He couldn't bare to make the call, and she was suffering. She suffered from a stroke and wouldn't eat or drink. She just sat and swayed her head from side to side. She had no sight, and couldn't hear. He could not give my friend permission to take her to the vet. 

My friend asked for my help. She volunteered to take her Grandfather grocery shopping. While they were away, I went to his home, gathered up the dog and took her to my vet. I didn't tell the entire truth about whose dog it was. The dog was PTS. I brought her back to the house, put her in her bed, curled her up and it looked like she just passed. 

When they returned, my friend called me, told me the dog had passed and needed help to bury the dog. 

This man was her Grandfather, it was her buisness.


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## LaRen616

crackem said:


> This is what pisses me off. It is NOT any of your dogs. Mind your own busniness once and a while.
> 
> I wouldn't make a dog suffer like this, but it is NOT my dog, nor MY decision to make. It's not your's either.
> 
> Seriously, wait till he's gone and have a vet come out and kill the man's dog?


I am completely disgusted by this comment.


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## selzer

I too think that calling a vet that makes house calls, discuss the problem briefly, and have him come and examine the dog while your uncle is there. It may be that vets deal with older people losing their older pets, and besides be an unbiased third party, he/she might have the right words to say to help him help his dog. 

And if not, he will have the drugs that will help the dog be in less pain.


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## crackem

No, the dog is dying, if a man wants to let nature take it's course, that is his business, not yours to call a vet while he is gone to kill the dog. 

If a parent doesn't want to put a kid thru chemo, that is the parents decision, if a parent doesn't want to put their kids on psycotropic drugs, it is their choice. Just like if a dying grandmother wants to have assisited suicide, it should be their right, their choice, and NOT YOURS. I don't know how to make it any more clear. 

wilfully witholding food to starve a dog, is not the same as letting a dog die a natural death because they refuse to eat. To you it's all the same, it's not to me.

If a dog owner wants to let their dog die a natural death, as horrific and abusive as you might find it, it is none of your business. 

call a vet, talk to your uncle, but in the end, it's his choice.


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## crackem

LaRen616 said:


> I am completely disgusted by this comment.


 you'll get over it


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## LaRen616

crackem said:


> No, the dog is dying, if a man wants to let nature take it's course, that is his business, not yours to call a vet while he is gone to kill the dog.


I agree that it is not right to have the dog euthanized while the owner is away, but if the dog is in pain and it is not ok to sit back and let nature take it's course. It is called neglect, it is called failing to seek medical treatment and it is illegal.


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## LaRen616

crackem said:


> you'll get over it


With the attitude you have, I feel bad for any animal that belongs to you.


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## Rerun

crackem said:


> If a parent doesn't want to put a kid thru chemo, that is the parents decision, if a parent doesn't want to put their kids on psycotropic drugs, it is their choice.


Actually, this is not accurate. The state can and will step in for circumstances like this.


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## crackem

Rerun said:


> Actually, this is not accurate. The state can and will step in for circumstances like this.


 I know they can, because everyone feels it's their business to interject into everyone's lives. 

A lot of people could consider chemo to be abusive and murder by itself, but then you probably don't care about that, you just feel it's your right to tell them they have to do it, and feel good about the state taking them away.

when we all know just how effective and pleasant chemo is.


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## crackem

LaRen616 said:


> With the attitude you have, I feel bad for any animal that belongs to you.


feel badly then. it doesn't surprise me considering you spend so much time worrying about what everyone else is doing.

in the meantime, me and my animals are probably setting the standard for what YOU should be doing and how you should be living with yours
 have a good one


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## LaRen616

crackem said:


> I know they can, because everyone feels it's their business to interject into everyone's lives.
> 
> A lot of people could consider chemo to be abusive and murder by itself, but then you probably don't care about that, you just feel it's your right to tell them they have to do it, and feel good about the state taking them away.
> 
> when we all know just how effective and pleasant chemo is.


I work in a Cancer Hospital, it is terrible to go through chemo, but it helps people survive, to sit back and do nothing would cause you more pain and prolong your suffering.

If I see an animal or a child being neglected, you better believe that I will do something about it, animals dont have a voice, they cant speak up for themselves, they cant seek help. Children are innocent and cannot take care of themselves. 

To sit back and do nothing when something is clearly going on is sick. To turn your head and act like you saw nothing is disturbing.


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## LaRen616

crackem said:


> feel badly then. it doesn't surprise me considering you spend so much time worrying about what everyone else is doing.
> 
> in the meantime, me and my animals are probably setting the standard for what YOU should be doing and how you should be living with yours
> have a good one


I am sure your animals are suffering and you are just turning your cheek.


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## Blazings

crackem said:


> This is what pisses me off. It is NOT any of your dogs. Mind your own busniness once and a while.
> 
> I wouldn't make a dog suffer like this, but it is NOT my dog, nor MY decision to make. It's not your's either.
> 
> Seriously, wait till he's gone and have a vet come out and kill the man's dog?


Well if you ever end up missing, I hope there's no search dog coming to rescue you. After all.. it's not the dogs problem you're missingand might be starving in the woods somewhere :cold: :wild:

And if you feel like people shouldn't be making decisions for others and giving advise, why are you even posting on this forum? All the posts here aren't your problem, are they?


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## Franksmom

crackem said:


> No, the dog is dying, if a man wants to let nature take it's course, that is his business, not yours to call a vet while he is gone to kill the dog.
> 
> If a parent doesn't want to put a kid thru chemo, that is the parents decision, if a parent doesn't want to put their kids on psycotropic drugs, it is their choice. Just like if a dying grandmother wants to have assisited suicide, it should be their right, their choice, and NOT YOURS. I don't know how to make it any more clear.
> 
> wilfully witholding food to starve a dog, is not the same as letting a dog die a natural death because they refuse to eat. To you it's all the same, it's not to me.
> 
> If a dog owner wants to let their dog die a natural death, as horrific and abusive as you might find it, it is none of your business.
> 
> call a vet, talk to your uncle, but in the end, it's his choice.


Hope for your sake you never end up elderly in a hospital with someone else controling your care and they decide to just let you die naturally, no matter how much pain you are in. 
We all can end up in a spot where we might need someone to step in on our behalf.


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## Blazings

Franksmom said:


> Hope for your sake you never end up elderly in a hospital with someone else controling your care and they decide to just let you die naturally, no matter how much pain you are in.
> We all can end up in a spot where we might need someone to step in on our behalf.


I wanted to say something like that, but didn't know how to put it down using the right words and without using offensive ones 

So +1 from me


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## LaRen616

Franksmom said:


> Hope for your sake you never end up elderly in a hospital with someone else controling your care and they decide to just let you die naturally, no matter how much pain you are in.
> We all can end up in a spot where we might need someone to step in on our behalf.


:thumbup: I like this!


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## crackem

ohhh, that hurt. You guys are good. 

are you 12 or something?

Let's reiterate for a second. 

It's not your dog. It's not right for you to go and take it and kill it at a vet's office when the owner is gone, no matter how righteous you think you are.

I wouldn't sit and watch my dog do that, but I can accept that it isn't my decision to make.

I can discern the difference between beating and willfully witholding food to starve a dog, and believing that it's best to let nature take its course, and can afford those that believe that way to make those decisions for themselves.

So you can hope all you want I get lost in the woods, you can believe my dogs are suffering and that they don't live a good life. you can hope I end up dying in a nursing home someday with nobody to care for me and anything else you have to believe to make yourselves feel better.


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## Jelpy

Actually, I don't hope for any of those things. I just think you're wrong. 

Jelpy and the Mesquite Mafia


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## LaRen616

crackem said:


> It's not your dog. It's not right for you to go and take it and kill it at a vet's office when the owner is gone, no matter how righteous you think you are.


I agree with this, I wouldn't take someone's dog and put it down behind their back, I would, however, call the police or animal control if the dog was suffering and the owner failed to seek medical treatment.

Just in case you didn't read what the OP posted.



Konotashi said:


> I'm in a predicament. My boyfriend's 73 year old uncle's dog Sally is about 14 years old and her time is up. *She has a rampant ear infection that appears to have spread to her eye. She has lost a significant amount of weight, and she's just lying in the yard suffering now. *
> 
> *The problem is, his uncle wants to let nature take its course and let her pass away on her own.* *My boyfriend and I both know that she's suffering,* but (as much as I love him), he's a stubborn old man and there is no reasoning with him sometimes, so there's nothing we can do.
> 
> I'm not willing to call the Humane Society on him for personal reasons.
> 
> Does anyone have any advice for what we could possibly do?


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## Blazings

crackem said:


> It's not your dog. It's not right for you to go and take it and kill it at a vet's office when the owner is gone, no matter how righteous you think you are.


I never said they should take away the dog and put it to sleep. But you're telling op that she's not allowed to take any action, just because it's not her dog and I don't agree with that.


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## Kris10

A question for the OP- I was wondering if the cost of having a vet come out is a consideration for this elderly man? Sometimes people don't want to just come out and say they have no money to do it and try to justify their actions. 

Or he may simply not be able to make the difficult decision to do it. Will he allow you and your BF to help in ANY way?


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## kiya

crackem said:


> No, the dog is dying, if a man wants to *let nature take it's course*, that is his business, not yours to call a vet while he is gone to kill the dog.


I just have to say this is where you are dead wrong, I have been waiting for nature to take it's course for about 2 years with my horse. I have watched him whither away to skin and bones along with my vet. I wanted my vet to put him down 2 years ago, but he felt it wasn't time. So no sometimes you have to interview with nature to reduce suffering. I did expect AC or someone to knock on my door one day since my horse looks imaciated. I guess my neighbors that do see him, know I do take care of my animals. 
I do believe the suggestion was for the vet to speak to the man and I bet money is an issue, that is probably why the man didn't seek a vet to begin with.


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## PaddyD

How much of this is helping the OP?


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## crackem

Blazings said:


> I never said they should take away the dog and put it to sleep. But you're telling op that she's not allowed to take any action, just because it's not her dog and I don't agree with that.


I said talk to a vet, talk to the man, but in the end it's his decision. How does that equal "you're not allowed to take any action" ?


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## selzer

My parents' dog Pippy was fifteen and crying most of the day. He would ask to go out, and then forget what he wanted to do when they took him to the door. He would stand down their and cry. He would come into the room with my dad and urinate on the floor -- this was a dog that would last ALL day. 

Pippy was done. And he was suffering. I did mention it to my parents. It was dad's dog and he was recovering from his second major surgery in two months, on a LOT of pain killers, and he was afraid he was jumping the gun, or putting the dog down because he just could not take it anymore. Nothing of the case, but he was holding off. It is a hard step to take after 15 years with the dog. 

One day Dad decided it was time and I went with him to put the dog down. 

No way in the world would I have called AC on my folks for not euthanizing their dog as soon as I would have. No way. I kept my cat going when he was totally paralyzed and waited WAY too long to put him down. 

It really is a personal decision. Death comes to all of us. People have to wait until nature runs its course, there is no magic juice for us, well unless we commit a heinous crime. But if we allow our animals to wait until they die naturally, we are some sort of fiends, because there is magic juice for them. It is a personal decision as to when or if we decide to do it. If not, we try to manage any pain they are in. And we hope that our animals will look at us and let us know that it is time. They do not always do that though. 

I thought maybe a vet might be able to help your uncle understand how much easier the passing will be, hopefully. 

I have been there when Frodo, Dubya, Mosther, Princess, and Pippy were put down, and all of those when very easy. But Kitty, I was there for that, and it was awful. She had lost half her weight, and they had a hard time finding a vein, and then she was NOT dying, so they had to do ANOTHER injection. 

We hope that by not allowing nature to run its course, we make it easier on our pets. I think of it as the last gift I can give my dog, to help their passing be as painless as possible. I see it that way. Not everyone does though. Who am I to say that they are wrong.


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## Konotashi

I'm both saddened and relived to report that Sally passed on to the Rainbow Bridge sometime last night. 

:rip: Sally. I'm sorry you had to spend your last moments in pain.


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## 1sttimeforgsd

Run free Sally! :rip:


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## lisgje

This thread was hard to read, a concerned op was worried about a suffering dog that the owner would not put down due to wanting it to "let nature take it's course" regardless of the pain the animal was in. Seeing pp on here actually support let an animal suffer because it is the owners decision and seeing everyone argue about it. How can anyone support letting an animal suffer and be in pain till it dies? I don't care if if you own the animal and it is yours, how can someone support letting a dog suffer in pain? If you are a responsible, loving owner, you don't let an animal die in pain. At least the dog has finally passed and is no longer in pain and waiting for it's owner to be what they should be. Loving and thinking of them instead of themselves.


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## TED MEYER

So sorry for the old guy. The dog lived a long time.


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## selzer

I am sorry for the old guy too. Not everyone thinks that euthanizing an animal is better than letting nature run its course. And some cannot take that final step. It is often really hard to judge when it needs to be taken. 

Some might actually think that euthanizing a dog is for them not the dog, that way they do not have to keep cleaning after it, or watch them suffer. 

It is a personal decision. I would definitely give a family member a couple days and in this case, that was all that was needed.


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## Bridget

Thank goodness this is a moot issue now, but I wanted to say that unless the situation was incredibly extreme and malice involved on the part of the owner, I would not have someone else's dog put to sleep, taking the decision out of their hands.

RIP sweet Sally.


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## katieliz

bless your heart sally, rest in peace. thank you to the op for caring about this dog.


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