# Puppy attacking / biting (Parody/joke)



## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

@WNGD

FINALLY... an uncontrollable puppy attacking its' owner. I know you have been waiting for this video for a long time.

Edit: DISCLAIMER... The following thread is full of sarcasm and terrible advice. If you are reading this looking for advice, please disregard and start your own thread.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

Don't you think he"s a little old to be getting away with that? You should nip it in the bud.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

oh the face!...the "but dad we were having fun" face.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> Don't you think he"s a little old to be getting away with that? You should nip it in the bud.


I just can't make him stop. I squeak and yelp. I tried a bonker and a squirt bottle.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Re-home that little monster.
PMing my address ....


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

WNGD said:


> Re-home that little monster.
> PMing my address ....


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Time for the rolled-up newspaper!


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> I just can't make him stop. I squeak and yelp. I tried a bonker and a squirt bottle.


Neutering really lowers all that aggression.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

People who don't know the OP might take all the advice seriously.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

I’ll make the disclaimer that no real advice has come out in this thread.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sunflowers said:


> Time for the rolled-up newspaper!


He's only 8 months. He can't read yet! I'll see if I can find a no biting article and save it for him.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> Neutering really lowers all that aggression.


I tried that with my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and it still attacks me viciously. Though the bonker works on him if I use a beach towel and swing with both hands. He sleeps for a while afterwards too.

Doesn't work on Valor. He just makes it his "friend" if you know what I mean


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

wolfy dog said:


> People who don't know the OP might take all the advice seriously.


I added a disclaimer to the OP. Thanks for pointing that out!


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Have you tried giving time a time out?
A serious talking to?
Distract him with a steak?
Begging?


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I would start wearing shorts.... It will hurt more so you will yelp louder


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

WNGD said:


> Have you tried giving time a time out?
> A serious talking to?
> Distract him with a steak?
> Begging?


I can't get him to set the timer, and he ate the clicker. I've been watching his poop. When it comes out I'll start training that again.

Um, this is a PUPPY we are talking about. I don't want to hurt his little feelings. You're a meanie.

When I use steak for a distraction, he just tackles my grandson. He won't let me tie it around his neck anymore. I'll have to talk to the neighbor kids.

He doesn't really beg. He just kind of takes what he wants. I tried to get him to do the sit pretty and flap his little hands, but he bit me in the face when I stated saying "sit pretty" in that Victoria Stillwell patented squeak (love her videos!) I don't think he understands the word pretty. So much for genetic obedience. Waiting on the return of the clicker. That should help.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

wolfy dog said:


> I would start wearing shorts.... It will hurt more so you will yelp louder


You know, someone on Facebook recommended that! I tried it right away while the idea was still fresh in my brain. It seems that the clothing adds to the experience for him, so while I did in fact yelp louder, I think the much elevated pitch followed by the thrashing around in the fetal position negated any effectiveness. 

I may try again when my cup gets here. USPS is running a little slow.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> I tried that with my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and it still attacks me viciously. Though the bonker works on him if I use a beach towel and swing with both hands. He sleeps for a while afterwards too.
> 
> Doesn't work on Valor. He just makes it his "friend" if you know what I mean


Sounds like when one of my watched bear and he “discovered” one of her teddy bears.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

Have you tried filling a water bottle with pennies and throwing it on the ground.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> Have you tried filling a water bottle with pennies and throwing it on the ground.


Should there still be water in the bottle?

Any particular brand?

If I fill it with pennies, it will be really heavy. Do you suggest a particular padding? I have bamboo (renewable) laminate hardwood flooring with 13/64" padding under it. It has been installed a few years so the padding has compressed some, particularly in high traffic areas. I can measure real quick.

Wow, it's down to about .02354" in some spots. That may seriously affect the bounce of the bottle.

Ok, so after I get the right bottle and figure out what exactly should go on it (thanks) do I try for a bank shot into the puppy? What should I aim for? How hard should I throw? Is there an instructional video? Maybe by Ivan Biletnikoff?

Thanks everyone for the help. I appreciate it.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> Sounds like when one of my watched bear and he “discovered” one of her teddy bears.


Did you manage to get the bear clean? What fabric softener do you use?


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> Should there still be water in the bottle?
> 
> Any particular brand?
> 
> ...


I would get that floor redone. You don’t want it affecting your bounce when you need it most. I actually do floors if you need someone. Not exactly an affordable price, but you get what you pay for. I like aim for it to hit the stomach.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> Don't you think he"s a little old to be getting away with that? You should nip it in the bud.


Ok, so how do I do that? I looked up dog bud. Dog nip. Dog nip bud. Dog bud nip. Nip bud dog. 

Nothing useful. 

Is that a slang term for an anatomical part? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> Did you manage to get the bear clean? What fabric softener do you use?


She said she stepped in. I bought her lunch but never asked about the cleanup.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> Ok, so how do I do that? I looked up dog bud. Dog nip. Dog nip bud. Dog bud nip. Nip bud dog.
> 
> Nothing useful.
> 
> Is that a slang term for an anatomical part? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.


🤣🤣it’s not that complicated. You just get on all fours and give him a bark.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> I would get that floor redone. You don’t want it affecting your bounce when you need it most. I actually do floors if you need someone. Not exactly an affordable price, but you get what you pay for. I like aim for it to hit the stomach.


Dad always said the best floors are cheap and easy, at least that's how I remember it.

Do you have flooring that trims their nails? Like a sandpaper thing that is comfortable to walk on in bear feet


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> 🤣🤣it’s not that complicated. You just get on all fours and give him a bark.


Ok. I'll try that and get back to you.

Thanks so much!


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> Dad always said the best floors are cheap and easy, at least that's how I remember it.
> 
> Do you have flooring that trims their nails? Like a sandpaper thing that is comfortable to walk on in bear feet


Yea but they chew it up.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

David Winners said:


> Ok. I'll try that and get back to you.
> 
> Thanks so much!


You should get video. It could be pretty informative for a lot of people.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Bearshandler said:


> You should get video. It could be pretty informative for a lot of people.


Wilco


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Two words for ya: air horn.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sunflowers said:


> Two words for ya: air horn.


Would a flute work? I have a flute from Jr high. Or maybe a recorder?


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

That pup is too aggressive! Did you try biting him back?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> That pup is too aggressive! Did you try biting him back?


Yes, and luckily I frequently dress up in pirate attire. I can wear 7 earrings in my left ear now.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

David Winners said:


> Yes, and luckily I frequently dress up in pirate attire. I can wear 7 earrings in my left ear now.


That's nothing, I can wear 8! And two in my nose.
Maybe you should go back to yelping? And hopping around?


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

David Winners said:


> He's only 8 months. He can't read yet! I'll see if I can find a no biting article and save it for him.



You may be able to adapt this Teach your Cat to Read for Valor. (Sometimes the best advice is free).










Teach your cat to read: Chronicle Books LLC Staff: 9780811807890: Amazon.com: Books


Teach your cat to read [Chronicle Books LLC Staff] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Teach your cat to read



www.amazon.com


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

If Valor was smaller you could just do what I do with Jamie... don't fight it just swing your leg in a back and forth motion and you have a puppy dust mop ! Then drop the dust and used puppy in the bin !


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> That's nothing, I can wear 8! And two in my nose.
> Maybe you should go back to yelping? And hopping around?


I haven't tried hopping. I think that in combination with shorts and the water bottle full of pennies may do the trick, or end up in castration.

Is the timing important on the hopping?

Bite, yelp, bottle, hop?
Bite hop, yelp, bottle?

What if the yelp becomes a scream and lasts through the whole sequence?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Dunkirk said:


> You may be able to adapt this Teach your Cat to Read for Valor. (Sometimes the best advice is free).
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ordered along with catnip and some fresh step. I like the way you think.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

EgansMom said:


> If Valor was smaller you could just do what I do with Jamie... don't fight it just swing your leg in a back and forth motion and you have a puppy dust mop ! Then drop the dust and used puppy in the bin !


That would just get blood everywhere. The less I move the less I have to clean up. I could maybe try trapping him under the bin!


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

David Winners said:


> I just can't make him stop. I squeak and yelp. I tried a bonker and a squirt bottle.


Don’t knock squirt bottles. When my dogs see one they stop stealing and fighting over toys instantly. Bonkers are another story. They like to attack and chew them. Actually my bonker is a couch pillow and my boy likes to play with it. I used it one time to see if it worked after the big conversation here (it didn’t) and he liked it so much he thinks it’s his.


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## ChickiefromTN (Jun 16, 2020)

You are going about this all wrong! You have to IGNORE the puppy. Don't acknowledge him. Puppies crave interaction with you so as soon as you stop paying attention to him, he will stop doing that behavior! 

That's what I've read on Facebook anyway...

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

LuvShepherds said:


> Don’t knock squirt bottles. When my dogs see one they stop stealing and fighting over toys instantly. Bonkers are another story. They like to attack and chew them. Actually my bonker is a couch pillow and my boy likes to play with it. I used it one time to see if it worked after the big conversation here (it didn’t) and he liked it so much he thinks it’s his.


Maybe if I combined things into one master tool... The bonkalizer!

Water bottle with pennies wrapped in a beach towel with a super soaker filled with bitter apple as a handle.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

ChickiefromTN said:


> You are going about this all wrong! You have to IGNORE the puppy. Don't acknowledge him. Puppies crave interaction with you so as soon as you stop paying attention to him, he will stop doing that behavior!
> 
> That's what I've read on Facebook anyway...
> 
> Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


Cool! Just like tooth pain, compressed disks, plumbing leaks and taxes.

I'll try it out.

Thanks Facebook!


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## kr16 (Apr 30, 2011)

The big issue here is filming in vertical mode. Shame on that dog, teach him how to film.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

kr16 said:


> The big issue here is filming in vertical mode. Shame on that dog, teach him how to film.


Finding a bite/slobber/urine proof camera has proven to be a challenge. He also prefers a live screen so he can get the right angle. I could try to attach it to one of the 3 e-collars he wears. Maybe the one around his waist for stability.

Bonkalizer mounted swat cam? It would be like having optics on the super soaker.

Lots to think about.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> I can't get him to set the timer, and he ate the clicker. I've been watching his poop. When it comes out I'll start training that again.
> 
> Um, this is a PUPPY we are talking about. I don't want to hurt his little feelings. You're a meanie.
> 
> ...


I heard if you give them a triple dose of de-wormer, the clicker will appear quicker....
clicker .... quicker. Easy to remember.

Lock yourself in the bathroom. They grow out of it by a year old ....


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Mount the camera on his back, and a super soaker with a remote trigger that also operates the bonkers to smack him in the head at the push of a button.
Or just give up and sell him to the police department. Because they always need aggressive dogs.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Sabis mom said:


> That's nothing, I can wear 8! And two in my nose.
> Maybe you should go back to yelping? And hopping around?


No!
You never go back to the same thing. 

You just keep trying dozens and dozens of whacky failing things you read on the internet until the 9 month old "puppy" grows out of it. Just let people tell you it's normal and not your fault and you should just learn to live with blood pooling in your slippers .....


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> That would just get blood everywhere. The less I move the less I have to clean up. I could maybe try trapping him under the bin!


Go from this









to this. 
GOT you little crazed puppy. Time out for you!


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Do you put them on "delicate" or "high heat" ? Fabric softener sheet or no ? How long a cycle till they are dry and bite free ?
Disclaimer again: this is NOT a serious or real advice thread.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

WNGD said:


> I heard if you give them a triple dose of de-wormer, the clicker will appear quicker....
> clicker .... quicker. Easy to remember.
> 
> Lock yourself in the bathroom. They grow out of it by a year old ....


I'll stop by and get the big bottle.

I don't think he's going to outgrow the bathroom. I mean, he's a substantial dog but my CC fits in there every time I poop and he's a buck 35.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> Mount the camera on his back, and a super soaker with a remote trigger that also operates the bonkers to smack him in the head at the push of a button.
> Or just give up and sell him to the police department. Because they always need aggressive dogs.


I hear some of the best police dogs come from pet homes, but alas, I think he would fail his drug screen and psychological testing. At this rate he will bomb the background check in a couple weeks if they track down the missing patio furniture from a couple blocks over.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

WNGD said:


> Go from this
> View attachment 567476
> 
> 
> ...


Do they make aluminium laundry baskets?

Searching Amazon now


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

EgansMom said:


> Do you put them on "delicate" or "high heat" ? Fabric softener sheet or no ? How long a cycle till they are dry and bite free ?
> Disclaimer again: this is NOT a serious or real advice thread.


Delicate... He's just a baby. Duh


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

David Winners said:


> Delicate... He's just a baby. Duh


Ok your fault. Laughing so hard I just sprayed coffee out my nose


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

You folks are just over thinking the issue.A wire crate with four holes in the bottom for his legs so he can walk around.A whole body muzzle🤣


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> You folks are just over thinking the issue.A wire crate with four holes in the bottom for his legs so he can walk around.A whole body muzzle🤣


GENIUS idea! I'd have to build some kind of giant rabbit water bottle.

Glad that cup is on the way. Those corners...

This forum is great! You guys ❤


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

EgansMom said:


> Do you put them on "delicate" or "high heat" ? Fabric softener sheet or no ? How long a cycle till they are dry and bite free ?
> Disclaimer again: this is NOT a serious or real advice thread.


I did that to my brother when he was little. Didn't hurt him at all .... much .... but he mumbles a lot today and hangs his clothes to dry.....


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## Kathrynil (Dec 2, 2019)

Make him write "I will not attack Dad's jeans just cuz" 278 times on the chalkboard. That should fix him quick. 



WNGD said:


> I did that to my brother when he was little. Didn't hurt him at all .... much .... but he mumbles a lot today and hangs his clothes to dry.....


Did he come out dry and bite free?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

WNGD said:


> I did that to my brother when he was little. Didn't hurt him at all .... much .... but he mumbles a lot today and hangs his clothes to dry.....


PTSDryer


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Kathrynil said:


> Make him write "I will not attack Dad's jeans just cuz" 278 times on the chalkboard. That should fix him quick.
> 
> 
> Did he come out dry and bite free?


Searching for titanium chalk...


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

What about just Fed Ex-ing him to @Sabis mom? I heard a rumor that she fixes puppies like that with her board-and-keep program.


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

Send him to @Magwart so she can find him a rescue that accepts vicious puppies with bite histories


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

@dogma13, we've learned those kind of puppies always do better with first-time dog owners who are raising multiple toddlers at the same time. I think having a chew toy that's about the same size is maybe why it works so well.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Kathrynil said:


> Make him write "I will not attack Dad's jeans just cuz" 278 times on the chalkboard. That should fix him quick.
> 
> 
> Did he come out dry and bite free?


No he was mad and couldn't walk straight. No wrinkles though....


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

I haven't laughed so much in months. Thanks guys and gals


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> What about just Fed Ex-ing him to @Sabis mom? I heard a rumor that she fixes puppies like that with her board-and-keep program.


Looking for titanium shipping boxes...

Board and keep 😜


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> Send him to @Magwart so she can find him a rescue that accepts vicious puppies with bite histories


See above ^^^


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Magwart said:


> What about just Fed Ex-ing him to @Sabis mom? I heard a rumor that she fixes puppies like that with her board-and-keep program.


I just embrace the crazy and roll with it! That's why it's a board and keep program. I am one bad hat away from the crazy dog lady. In a few years I expect someone will send me the bad hat and I will make national headlines.

_HUNDREDS OF DOGS FOUND ON PROPERTY AT END OF ROAD
Police tried to remove the crazy ladies dogs but were eventually driven off by the insane antics of these out of control terrors. Leaping from bed to couch they stole snacks, deposited hair and latched onto boots and gloves with glee until the officers surrendered to rolling on the grass and vaulting over logs before finally leaving in tears.

More at 11_


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> @dogma13, we've learned those kind of puppies always do better with first-time dog owners who are raising multiple toddlers at the same time. I think having a chew toy that's about the same size is maybe why it works so well.


I suggest a few small girls. He's crazy for a pony tail. Diapers are another favorite.


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

Magwart said:


> @dogma13, we've learned those kind of puppies always do better with first-time dog owners who are raising multiple toddlers at the same time. I think having a chew toy that's about the same size is maybe why it works so well.


Coffee came out of my nose. Thank you so much🤣


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

WNGD said:


> Go from this
> View attachment 567476
> 
> 
> ...


I'm not being snooty or anything, but you're not supposed to wash your puppy in a washing machine, they're hand wash only.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

David Winners said:


> @WNGD
> 
> FINALLY... an uncontrollable puppy attacking its' owner. I know you have been waiting for this video for a long time.
> 
> Edit: DISCLAIMER... The following thread is full of sarcasm and terrible advice. If you are reading this looking for advice, please disregard and start your own thread.


You need to figure out his motivation for the behaviour. How did his sibling treat him, any issues there?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Dunkirk said:


> I'm not being snooty or anything, but you're not supposed to wash your puppy in a washing machine, they're hand wash only.


I use the toilet. Makes rinsing easy and the lid is at a convenient height to sit on, unlike the washing machine. Oh, and a PSA, dog hair clogs the dishwasher. I'm searching for a pet friendly model. Big hole there in the market if you ask me.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

David Winners said:


> I use the toilet.


Where did you find a titanium toilet??? Was that part of the high-end breeder puppy pack they go home with?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Dunkirk said:


> You need to figure out his motivation for the behaviour. How did his sibling treat him, any issues there?


You understand that this entire thread is a parody right?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> Where did you find a titanium toilet??? Was that part of the high-end breeder puppy pack they go home with?


Yeah! I ordered it from the Zakk George online store. It came with free welding gloves and a 275' backpack flexi leash. It was $12,999.99. A steal at half the price.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

David Winners said:


> You understand that this entire thread is a parody right?


Respectfully, David, you might be missing the value of Dunkirk's advice -- I think his point might be that you need to have Valor tell you about whether he has baggage from his dam giving his siblings more nursing time. Valor's inner child might legitimately need healing!


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

David Winners said:


> You understand that this entire thread is a parody right?


Yep. I suggest you both watch the movie Stuart Little, particularly where Snowbell is told "We don't eat family members".


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> Respectfully, David, you might be missing the value of Dunkirk's advice -- I think his point might be that you need to have Valor tell you about whether he has baggage from his dam giving his siblings more nursing time. Valor's inner child might legitimately need healing!


I'll have to ask his therapist. 

I'm sure he was weaned and segregated at 722 hours 12 minutes and then dunked in a horse trough. He should be perfect.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Dunkirk said:


> Yep. I suggest you both watch the movie Stuart Little, particularly where Snowbell is told "We don't eat family members".


I'm not real smart, and if clever jokes aren't in the crayon font, they go over my head.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

There is now a thread with a very similar title. Looks like from someone not experienced. I am worried that they start reading yours midway and missrd the disclaimer. I may be a worrier but still, I am starting to worry about this and if it has run it's course maybe remove it?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

wolfy dog said:


> There is now a thread with a very similar title. Looks like from someone not experienced. I am worried that they start reading yours midway and missrd the disclaimer. I may be a worrier but still, I am starting to worry about this and if it has run it's course maybe remove it?


I changed the title


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

David Winners said:


> I use the toilet. Makes rinsing easy and the lid is at a convenient height to sit on, unlike the washing machine. Oh, and a PSA, dog hair clogs the dishwasher. I'm searching for a pet friendly model. Big hole there in the market if you ask me.


Ha! My dishwasher washed rims, sure it could take a dog!

@Dunkirk Now I definitely cannot have a puppy! I don't buy anything that's hand wash only!


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

David Winners said:


> I changed the title


Good idea!


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Dunkirk said:


> I'm not being snooty or anything, but you're not supposed to wash your puppy in a washing machine, they're hand wash only.


Why ? Do they shrink ? Come out as a designer breed ? I looked everywhere on her body for the label but I think she chewed it off. 



Magwart said:


> Respectfully, David, you might be missing the value of Dunkirk's advice -- I think his point might be that you need to have Valor tell you about whether he has baggage from his dam giving his siblings more nursing time. Valor's inner child might legitimately need healing!


Could be Daddy issues...after all he knocked up Mom then disappeared like deadbeat Dad. 
Has his therapist tried hypnosis or ink blots maybe? There must be some deeply traumatic event driving his pant leg compulsion.


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

ChickiefromTN said:


> You are going about this all wrong! You have to IGNORE the puppy. Don't acknowledge him. Puppies crave interaction with you so as soon as you stop paying attention to him, he will stop doing that behavior!
> 
> That's what I've read on Facebook anyway...
> 
> Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


Yes, give him a time out! That should work!


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Dunkirk said:


> I'm not being snooty or anything, but you're not supposed to wash your puppy in a washing machine, they're hand wash only.


Hence the invention of the delicate cycle obvi....
I prefer to just go through the car wash with the dog in the back of the pickup or put him in a sit on one side and call him to the other....before any asks....no wax


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

David Winners said:


> I'm not real smart, and if clever jokes aren't in the crayon font, they go over my head.


Not seeing facial expressions/body language on forums means our interpersonal communication tools/cues are reduced to 30%.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Dunkirk said:


> Not seeing facial expressions/body language on forums means our interpersonal communication tools/cues are reduced to 30%.


I'm offended ....


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Dunkirk said:


> Not seeing facial expressions/body language on forums means our interpersonal communication tools/cues are reduced to 30%.


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

David Winners said:


> I'm not real smart, and if clever jokes aren't in the crayon font, they go over my head.


God! How did I miss this! The ying to my yang!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

MineAreWorkingline said:


> God! How did I miss this! The ying to my yang!


What is the philosophical or dietary counterpoint to crayon?

That's deep


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

David Winners said:


> What is the philosophical or dietary counterpoint to crayon?
> 
> That's deep


Brings to mind the old Zen koan... what is the sound of one hand clapping? 

That answer is deep and dog oriented...


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

Sidewalk chalk?🤔


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> What is the philosophical or dietary counterpoint to crayon?
> 
> That's deep


I think you finally sniffed one too many markers bro....


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)




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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

David Winners said:


> What is the philosophical or dietary counterpoint to crayon?



Metadata.


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## NadDog24 (May 14, 2020)

WNGD said:


> Hence the invention of the delicate cycle obvi....
> I prefer to just go through the car wash with the dog in the back of the pickup or put him in a sit on one side and call him to the other....before any asks....no wax
> View attachment 567497


Workin at the dog wash!


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

These dogs aren't stupid. Here's how you should be teaching him!


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Sunsilver said:


> These dogs aren't stupid. Here's how you should be teaching him!
> 
> View attachment 567510


Silly kid. Dogs like 75" TVs minimum....


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)




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## brittanyS (Dec 11, 2018)

We're taking notes from Uncle Stonnie, too


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## 2S1H (Apr 21, 2013)

I was told as a child that eating raw potatoes would give me worms. 

So since I am in charge of making the potatoes for Christmas dinner how much of my dogs de-wormer should I take according to my height & weight to protect myself?!🤣🤣


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

2S1H said:


> I was told as a child that eating raw potatoes would give me worms.
> 
> So since I am in charge of making the potatoes for Christmas dinner how much of my dogs de-wormer should I take according to my height & weight to protect myself?!🤣🤣


Definitely 23


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

People laughing in this thread is turning into a problem. It's well known that laughter ruins puppies. They'll never be serious enough once they hear you laugh!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> People laughing in this thread is turning into a problem. It's well known that laughter ruins puppies. They'll never be serious enough once they hear you laugh!


Woah... That could explain a LOT.

I kind of uncontrollably laugh and cry at the same time (like the movie Joker) whenever he bites me. I expect him to be PPDXII trained (blue level certified) in the future so I need a serious K9. I mean he's AKC registered and everything!

Should I wear a ball gag?


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

If you don't mind some lip piercings, holding a red kong in your mouth would probably be ideal. That has the additional benefit of teaching him you're the alpha because you get to hold the toy in your mouth.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Magwart said:


> If you don't mind some lip piercings, holding a red kong in your mouth would probably be ideal. That has the additional benefit of teaching him you're the alpha because you get to hold the toy in your mouth.


If you really want him to know you are his alpha, pee on him! 

And please for the love of Mike video it!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> If you don't mind some lip piercings, holding a red kong in your mouth would probably be ideal. That has the additional benefit of teaching him you're the alpha because you get to hold the toy in your mouth.


Great idea! That keeps me from stretching out the straps. I'll get some titanium rings for the piercings. I should measure his canine teeth so I get the right gauge.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> If you really want him to know you are his alpha, pee on him!
> 
> And please for the love of Mike video it!


I've already done that a couple times in the woods. Didn't seem to help. I should eat some asparagus first and try it.


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Sabis mom said:


> If you really want him to know you are his alpha, pee on him!
> 
> And please for the love of Mike video it!


Darn that's what I was doing wrong.... I took a pee in the toilet and Jamie watched me and promptly copped a squat beside the toilet to join in (for real..I laughed my A off). Shoulda pee'd ON her. Duh
Guess that means I have to set an example and pee in the yard. I'm sure I read that in a puppy training guide.
Did that work for potty training Valor ? They say lead by example !


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

EgansMom said:


> Darn that's what I was doing wrong.... I took a pee in the toilet and Jamie watched me and promptly copped a squat beside the toilet to join in (for real..I laughed my A off). Shoulda pee'd ON her. Duh
> Guess that means I have to set an example and pee in the yard. I'm sure I read that in a puppy training guide.
> Did that work for potty training Valor ? They say lead by example !


It worked wonders for pooping in the front yard. Totally worth the indecent exposure ticket and 3 days at the correction center of northwest Ohio. Ole Roy makes for some fantastic poops, and it's nice to be able to let them melt away in the yard over the next year instead of having to shovel them up weekly out of the living room.

As for peeing inside, I'm sticking to high pitched squealing, clapping hands and a strobe light. He's about 46% trained at this point (8 months) so going pretty well. We are switching to yellow throw rugs and furniture for convenience. I also purchased stock in nature's miracle hoping to recoup some expenses.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

You might try laying down a pack of WeeWee pads inside to help him learn faster.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Magwart said:


> You might try laying down a pack of WeeWee pads inside to help him learn faster.


Of course! And bonus since he will know to pee on things that you put on the floor you can always use use bath mats if you run out! Or towels or clothes.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Magwart said:


> You might try laying down a pack of WeeWee pads inside to help him learn faster.


Fantastic! I can safely demonstrate without the risk of another incarceration.

A bonus! After Valor shreds the WeeWee pads, I can use them as bedding for the caiman I got for Christmas. If you're not familiar, they are like an alligator that stays cute and sweet and cuddly forever. He smiles a lot already


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> Of course! And bonus since he will know to pee on things that you put on the floor you can always use use bath mats if you run out! Or towels or clothes.


And stuffed toys, and file cabinets...

Thanks for the suggestions. My list of emergency WeeWee pads is huge!


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

My dogs and caimans both thrive on Old Roy.This is a copy cat version I found for those that enjoy making their own kibble:10 lbs cornmeal, small bottle of Flintstone vitamins,2 quarts water.Mix together in a 5 gallon pail,leave it overnight to set up. Break it up into bite sized pieces the next morning with a hammer.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> My dogs and caimans both thrive on Old Roy.This is a copy cat version I found for those that enjoy making their own kibble:10 lbs cornmeal, small bottle of Flintstone vitamins,2 quarts water.Mix together in a 5 gallon pail,leave it overnight to set up. Break it up into bite sized pieces the next morning with a hammer.


I saw that recipe on Facebook in the fur baby group. I think they suggest adding meat byproduct byproduct meal extract byproduct juice byproduct, also known as Vienna sausages.


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

David Winners said:


> I saw that recipe on Facebook in the fur baby group. I think they suggest adding meat byproduct byproduct meal extract byproduct juice byproduct, also known as Vienna sausages.


Well yeah,if you're into gourmet foods.In MY opinion it's totally way too much byproduct. Let's argue about it for two or three days.


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## doubleroll (Jul 5, 2011)

What kind of dog is that? German Shepard puppies would never ever act in such a vicious way  

This thread made my day...


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

doubleroll said:


> What kind of dog is that? German Shepard puppies would never ever act in such a vicious way
> 
> This thread made my day...


It's the Vienna sausages I tell ya!Makes those Sheppards mean!


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

dogma13 said:


> It's the Vienna sausages I tell ya!Makes those Sheppards mean!





doubleroll said:


> What kind of dog is that? German Shepard puppies would never ever act in such a vicious way
> 
> This thread made my day...


What's a Sheppard/Shepard?


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

Pure bread Shepphord


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

WNGD said:


> What's a Sheppard/Shepard?


It's like a German Shepherd only twice the size. They come with two personalities, either sleep on the couch all day or eat your neighbors.


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## Benjaminb (Aug 14, 2017)

The other one i like, is "should I breed my 8 month old german sheppard? She is very pretty and can do tricks"
This thread is Awesome lol


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Sabis mom said:


> It's like a German Shepherd only twice the size. They come with two personalities, either sleep on the couch all day or eat your neighbors.


My kinda dog...except the couch part.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Benjaminb said:


> The other one i like, is "should I breed my 8 month old german sheppard? She is very pretty and can do tricks"
> This thread is Awesome lol


Depends on what kind of tricks
Like these dogs are pretty cool and should be bred (to each other not the horse) to make a Sheprador


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## doubleroll (Jul 5, 2011)

WNGD said:


> What's a Sheppard/Shepard?


Ah I bet that’s the type of dog in the video...ferocious breed these Sheppard/Shepard’s 😆


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Well, in case anyone ever questions my methods, I threw a ball in the house and taught Shadow that Christmas trees are hiding and randomly dropping balls. I did that.
Bonus half the ornaments are now off the tree!
@David Winners Top That!


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

For next year teach her to put them on the tree


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

dogma13 said:


> For next year teach her to put them on the tree


We tried, but she's not tall enough!


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

We built snow forts and had a snowball fight this afternoon. Harley and Rogan were on my team!


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Personally I find puppies behave much better if you just keep 'em drunk all the time !


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

EgansMom said:


> Personally I find puppies behave much better if you just keep 'em drunk all the time !
> View attachment 567734


It’s what my mentor recommended for teething


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Shadow is still searching the Christmas tree for random dropping balls! No time for biting my feet. Also no time to remove lids from bottles and crush said bottles. Apparently she has time to give me a fat lip though.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

I'll catch up later! Busy day 

Trying to detatch Valor from my jeans with a break stick (saw it on PBs and Parolees).


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

David Winners said:


> I'll catch up later! Busy day
> 
> Trying to detatch Valor from my jeans with a break stick (saw it on PBs and Parolees).


Just take your jeans off silly !
Or if the break stick fails maybe the jaws of life ?
I read "bread" stick ...ya-good luck with that. You could just beat him about his body with a stale Baguette ! Or as I suggested above...serve it to him with a nice bottle of wine !
Come on David .... lots of material here to run with....


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

dogma13 said:


> Pure bread Shepphord
> View attachment 567613


Where can I get a pure white bread shepphord ? lol


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

EgansMom said:


> Where can I get a pure white bread shepphord ? lol


to be a therapy dog and maybe personal protection.


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Fodder said:


> to be a therapy dog and maybe personal protection.


I hear that Wonder has an excellent line of versatile white bread shepphords.
Don't know much about the Great Value line. You get what you pay for with those white bread shepphords !
What I really dream of owning is a mini white bread shepradoodle therapy and personal protection dog !
ps.after being here for awhile I have come to the conclusion that many GSD owners are just not quite right in the head ! lol
Darn, sharky is up from her nap. G'night all. Wish me Godspeed and send band-aids !


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

EgansMom said:


> Where can I get a pure white bread shepphord ? lol


They are really rare.The waiting list is ten years! The breeder is on Craigs List "Shooper Dooper Sheppords"


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

My next pup will be a Honey Wheat long coat


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

EgansMom said:


> Where can I get a pure white bread shepphord ? lol


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

white bread dogs - Bing


Find high-quality images, photos, and animated GIFS with Bing Images




www.bing.com





White bread


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

It was a busy day in the shop 

And I took Valor downtown. He loves to chase cars. Wears him out like crazy.


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

you guys ! LMAO


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Fodder said:


> to be a therapy dog and maybe personal protection.


The two go hand in hand. I had an attack trained golden retriever ESA (replaced my support llama) that was a fantastic resource guarder. It took some work, but with enough pestering during meal times and violently taking raw bones away, she would protect just about anything from anybody. What a partner to have with you at the park! We collected so many balls and frizbees for the grandkids. Those poor frizbee golfers didn't stand a chance. The grandkids used to call her Santa's evil elf.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> My next pup will be a Honey Wheat long coat


I want a Mali x GSD cross in cracked wheat.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

True story, I used to have a llama on a farm along with 100 ostriches. Dogs don't mess with either one of them .....


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

I had to shoot a llama that bowed up on Fama. She didn't take kindly to it charging us. She had it by the neck and they were in a real fight. She was off leash. 

Same thing happened with a donkey but she was on leash at the time. No fight but it was very aggressively charging us. I pistol whipped it in the nose and it backed off.


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

David Winners said:


> I had to shoot a llama that bowed up on Fama. She didn't take kindly to it charging us. She had it by the neck and they were in a real fight. She was off leash.
> 
> Same thing happened with a donkey but she was on leash at the time. No fight but it was very aggressively charging us. I pistol whipped it in the nose and it backed off.


I hear those donkeys are real stubborn about learning leash pressure...and teaching recall to a llama - forget about it !


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Ha! I had to beat Shadow off her food at 30 days and toss her outside so she would know she was a dog. A few sessions of yanking her food out of reach and she started biting anything that moved!


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Sabis mom said:


> Ha! I had to beat Shadow off her food at 30 days and toss her outside so she would know she was a dog. A few sessions of yanking her food out of reach and she started biting anything that moved!


That's awesome ! I've been looking for tips on how to teach your GSD to bite family and friends !


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

The third picture - he's making something like looks like a piano?
Chasing cars is a good time for sure!Even more fun is chasing cows.Really shows their athleticism dodging the kicks!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> The third picture - he's making something like looks like a piano?
> Chasing cars is a good time for sure!Even more fun is chasing cows.Really shows their athleticism dodging the kicks!


TV tray with piano theme and amazing grace laser engraved into a figured walnut panel above the keys.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

If he's already chasing cars, you might consider putting on some roller blades, and putting him in a harness and letting him pull you at a full run. A tired dog is a good dog!


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

EgansMom said:


> That's awesome ! I've been looking for tips on how to teach your GSD to bite family and friends !


Can't understand why so many people come on this site trying to stop exactly that....I have an old well in the woods out back where I drop any delivery guys that the dogs bite....don't want to get in trouble if they're reported. Then I can those scrap metal guys who pay me $300 for the leftover delivery vehicles. Good scam so far....


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> I had to shoot a llama that bowed up on Fama. She didn't take kindly to it charging us. She had it by the neck and they were in a real fight. She was off leash.
> 
> Same thing happened with a donkey but she was on leash at the time. No fight but it was very aggressively charging us. I pistol whipped it in the nose and it backed off.


4 things dogs really shouldn't mess with.....llamas, donkeys, ostriches and bison. Ever try herding bison with a dog on horseback? 
This is a cool read





Las Rocosa Australian Shepherds


Las Rocosa Australian Shepherds Breeder of quality Australian Shepherds in Colorado; ASCA #1 Hall of Fame kennel; puppies occasionally; stud service; health and temperament guaranteed



www.lasrocosa.com





Oh, and snakes....5 things


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

David Winners said:


> TV tray with piano theme and amazing grace laser engraved into a figured walnut panel above the keys.


Lightbulb moment! I have a project that you might be interested in for my son's birthday next October. I'll start thinking about it and message you sometime to brainstorm designs.


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

Wow! Now those are some TRUE working dogs!

Here's what a full grown bull looks like up close:









Anyone want to walk up to him and pet him? 😀


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

If chasing Cars ever gets old try bicycles! Those cyclists are quick. Teaches good agility and they get some bites in.


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## NiabiTheGreat (Jul 14, 2019)

And don't forget runners as well! Trust me, they love it almost as much as the dogs do. Helps push them to do their best. It will help teach him some control so he doesn't charge at them too quickly. Benefits the dogs and the people!


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## coolgsd (May 1, 2010)

David Winners said:


> @WNGD
> FINALLY... an uncontrollable puppy attacking its' owner. I know you have been waiting for this video for a long time.


I know there are a lot that make light of those attacks but seriously - how many stitches did you end up with?


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> If chasing Cars ever gets old try bicycles! Those cyclists are quick. Teaches good agility and they get some bites in.


Track practice in the spring. Win win!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

coolgsd said:


> I know there are a lot that make light of those attacks but seriously - how many stitches did you end up with?


All of them.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Shadow gave me a fat lip yesterday! Clearly I am on the right path here. I think the new puppy will be just fine if I chase it around with a broom and yell and cry lots.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> Shadow gave me a fat lip yesterday! Clearly I am on the right path here. I think the new puppy will be just fine if I chase it around with a broom and yell and cry lots.


It's really sinking in 😅 Let that inner wolf howl!

The wife got a little rambunctious with Valor tonight when she got home. She's bleeding from a couple locations on her face lol. (Not sarcasm  )


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> All of them.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> It's really sinking in 😅 Let that inner wolf howl!
> 
> The wife got a little rambunctious with Valor tonight when she got home. She's bleeding from a couple locations on her face lol. (Not sarcasm  )


Get her two towels. One for the blood and one to bonk Valor.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

WNGD said:


> Get her two towels. One for the blood and one to bonk Valor.


I handed her a Clorox wipe for the blood. Positive punishment.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

David Winners said:


> I handed her a Clorox wipe for the blood. Positive punishment.


Ouch! Lol. 
My step daughter, bless her heart, taught Shadow to slap fight. I've caught a few in the face over the years. And Bud split my cheek open with that brick he called a head. A couple of black eyes as well. 
I highly recommend for a bonding exercise that people teach slap fighting. Bonus, points if you teach them to start while you are sleeping.


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## EgansMom (Apr 18, 2020)

Sabis mom said:


> Ouch! Lol.
> My step daughter, bless her heart, taught Shadow to slap fight. I've caught a few in the face over the years. And Bud split my cheek open with that brick he called a head. A couple of black eyes as well.
> I highly recommend for a bonding exercise that people teach slap fighting. Bonus, points if you teach them to start while you are sleeping.


How many points for puppy smothering you while digging claws into your ears and ripping out your hair by the roots...while you sleep ?


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## Kate D. (Dec 31, 2020)

David Winners said:


> @WNGD
> 
> FINALLY... an uncontrollable puppy attacking its' owner. I know you have been waiting for this video for a long time.
> 
> Edit: DISCLAIMER... The following thread is full of sarcasm and terrible advice. If you are reading this looking for advice, please disregard and start your own thread.


Our puppy did the same thing at his age. He will outgrow it. Ours did. It is his herding skills. Loved your video. <3


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Kate D. said:


> Our puppy did the same thing at his age. He will outgrow it. Ours did. It is his herding skills. Loved your video. <3


Outgrow it? I'm hoping he learns some real takedown moves. I think he's a natural on the single leg if he learns to push in with the inside shoulder and rotate into the other leg.

I'm also trying to bring out the herding instincts. I'm playing baa baa black sheep on a loop in his titanium headphones at night while he's sleeping/chewing on my feet.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

EgansMom said:


> How many points for puppy smothering you while digging claws into your ears and ripping out your hair by the roots...while you sleep ?


All of them


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> Ouch! Lol.
> My step daughter, bless her heart, taught Shadow to slap fight. I've caught a few in the face over the years. And Bud split my cheek open with that brick he called a head. A couple of black eyes as well.
> I highly recommend for a bonding exercise that people teach slap fighting. Bonus, points if you teach them to start while you are sleeping.


My favorite nighttime bonding exercise is the face pounce. He's starting to get wise to it though. My artificial hip squeaks when I assume the bugs bunny sneak pose right before I leap and he is learning to spin around and bite my cup before the pounce is complete.

My hip is already titanium, so I'm not sure what to do there.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

I hope you are encouraging a good, full bite! You have to teach that.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Sabis mom said:


> I hope you are encouraging a good, full bite! You have to teach that.


Of course! I rub bacon on my cup.


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

OMG!! LOL!! 

🤣


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

David Winners said:


> I handed her a Clorox wipe for the blood. Positive punishment.


Talk baby talk to her. See if that helps ....


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## CindyK (Jun 18, 2018)

David Winners said:


> @WNGD
> 
> FINALLY... an uncontrollable puppy attacking its' owner. I know you have been waiting for this video for a long time.
> 
> Edit: DISCLAIMER... The following thread is full of sarcasm and terrible advice. If you are reading this looking for advice, please disregard and start your own thread.


Your puppy is Bored and has learned how to make you yell and scream its fun . You must of laughed the first time he did it . They catch on to that so fast . You need to give him and toy to change the toy I use a gunny sack and redirect the biting to the sack praise him for the sack play . If he comes back at you you need to get after him and give him the sack again. repeat


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

Put the vicious little pointy eared monster in the sack.Make wagers with your family members on how long it will take him to escape and who will be the first victim of his wrath.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> Put the vicious little pointy eared monster in the sack.Make wagers with your family members on how long it will take him to escape and who will be the first victim of his wrath.


Aw man, this advice about stuffing him in a sack comes a week too late. He could have been stuffed in the sack on Santa's sleigh and gone on a world tour. We could have had a pool to guess how long the reindeer would last, since Valor is used to eating raw venison.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

CindyK said:


> Your puppy is Bored and has learned how to make you yell and scream its fun . You must of laughed the first time he did it . They catch on to that so fast . You need to give him and toy to change the toy I use a gunny sack and redirect the biting to the sack praise him for the sack play . If he comes back at you you need to get after him and give him the sack again. repeat


CindyK is not quite up to speed with her first post


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

Good one @Magwart [email protected] this is just a joke thread


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

CindyK said:


> Your puppy is Bored and has learned how to make you yell and scream its fun . You must of laughed the first time he did it . They catch on to that so fast . You need to give him and toy to change the toy I use a gunny sack and redirect the biting to the sack praise him for the sack play . If he comes back at you you need to get after him and give him the sack again. repeat


I tried to redirect, but I really think it's blood he's after. He has Transylvanian lines in his pedigree.


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## Steve Strom (Oct 26, 2013)

I've seen people say to put bitter apple on their hands for biting. Maybe you should rub garlic on your legs? How is he in the daylight?


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Gotta wear skidoo boots round here. I dun good!
10 years old and still attacking me!


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## Jorski (Jan 11, 2019)

You must not be using "high value" treats


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

According to my dog, and apparently David's, human flesh is very high value!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogma13 said:


> Put the vicious little pointy eared monster in the sack.Make wagers with your family members on how long it will take him to escape and who will be the first victim of his wrath.


Looking for titanium sacks.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Steve Strom said:


> I've seen people say to put bitter apple on their hands for biting. Maybe you should rub garlic on your legs? How is he in the daylight?


Great idea Steve. He typically wears shades in the daytime and he kind of sparkles. I think he's team Edward.

I'll try the garlic and report back.


----------

