# Ever felt like you failed a dog?



## Zeeva

Have you ever felt like you failed a dog in any way? Whether it be inability to train it properly, medical issues or simply requiring to re-home it? 

For a long time I felt this way about both my dogs, especially Zeeva. But I've grown to accept the fact that certain things about both my dogs need to be managed rather than fixed. And although it may be a failure on my part, it doesn't really matter because as long as I can acknowledge these problems, continue to work on them and manage them, things are 'ok'...

For example, both my dogs especially on walks and when together, aren't trustworthy around another dog. I wish with all my heart that I would've socialized them more. We've been to puppy classes, dog parks and had play dates with other dogs that they've gotten along with in the past. And I'm sure I'm overly cautious but I don't let them get close to other dogs because I'd rather be safe.


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## LaRen616

Yup, I failed 3 times and I still think about those dogs.

I haven't failed Sin or Draco though and I 100% plan on keeping it that way.


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## Zeeva

LaRen616 said:


> Yup, I failed 3 times and I still think about those dogs.
> 
> I haven't failed Sin or Draco though and I 100% plan on keeping it that way.


Do you mind telling us what happened?


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## LaRen616

Zeeva said:


> Do you mind telling us what happened?


I rehomed 3 dogs.

The first was a male Siberian Husky puppy that was extremely aggressive and I should have put him to sleep but I rehomed him to what I thought was an experienced Siberian Husky home only to find out months later that the puppy was on it's 4th home, was still extremely aggressive and was a permanent outside dog. He would be 5 years old in December, I don't know where he is anymore.

The second was a male GSD/Husky mix that I got off of craigslist, he was 1.5 years old when I got him. The owner said wonderful things about him but he ended up being food and toy aggressive, he could not be trusted around children, he growled at family members and stared them down. He wasn't fully potty trained and he would have frequent accidents in the house. I didn't trust him and I felt that he needed a more experienced owner so I rehomed him to a nice older couple with no other animals in the next town over. I saw him a couple of times since then but I haven't seen him in years. He would have been 5 years old last month. I miss him the most, I still have his dog tags and I feel like I may have given up too soon. 

The 3rd was a female GSD. She and I were not a good fit, I tried the best I could but we had no bond, we were not meant to be so I gave her up.

I feel like I failed them because I got them and then I gave them up.


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## Remo

One of my dogs, Sasha, (aka Boogie) is one of those dogs that cannot be fixed, so like you, we manage her. 

I took her to a class that was specifically for crazy dogs - as a courtesy to the less crazy dogs in the class, we left. The instructor is a friend of mine and he said she is one of the most messed up dogs he has ever encountered. 

She is a product of poor breeding and she lived the first year and a half of her life in a dark garage. She lived in there, slept in there, ate in there and relieved herself in that same dark garage. She did not have interaction with either dogs or people. 

We have successfully rehabbed hundreds of dogs over the last 20 years - Boogie cannot be "fixed". Some of the dogs we "fixed" were pretty bad cases that took a lot of time and patience before they were adoptable. Since Sasha never became what you would consider adoptable, we adopted her ourselves. We keep her safe and do not allow her to make any bad decisions. We walk her in areas where we do not encounter lots of other dogs or people. For the most part, she is pretty good with all of our foster dogs. She growls a lot, but things rarely progress beyond her growling. She is ours and we love her, but she will never be a normal dog. 

Please don't think that you have failed your dog.


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## LoveEcho

I had a "white GSD" (turns out he was all husky) rescue from down south who they didn't tell me had a bite history. He ended up biting me badly enough to require and ER visit and stitches. When I called the "rescue" to tell them what happened, they notified me that they needed to take him back. I didn't know I had any options (but frankly, I didn't have the skill set at the time to deal with a dog with aggression issues), so I agreed. He was HW+ and I had paid a fortune for treatments, but he passed away a month or so after they took him back. He was a very troubled dog...I think of him frequently. The things I learned about that "rescue" after the fact were disturbing. 

I fostered a lab with some major behavioral problems (ZERO boundaries and dominance issues). I had him for four weeks and he was an absolute nightmare. When my husband's grandmother became extremely ill, I had to pass him off to another foster in the organization (we had to go to CT to care for her and make final arrangements). I was VERY clear that he needed to go to an experienced foster. The dog would not have been manageable in any environment but one that was very strict and regimented and boot-camp-esque. They ended up giving him to an elderly couple looking for a lab. As anyone who knew the dog could have predicted, he was a holy terror and broke the lady's hip, bit the man, and was euth'd. I think of him frequently as well. This was with one of the more reputable rescues in NE, or so I thought. 

Sometimes I feel like I failed Echo. I was too inexperienced to be able to recognize his training needs (he's fearful, soft, and very anxious) and I feel like I made so many mistakes in training that I exacerbated the problems.


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## Ellimaybel

My very first dog was a beautiful Border Collie/American Eskimo mix. I owned him when I lived down south. One night I was out walking him when he took off out of his collar. I ran through the city chasing him and when we got home I put him in the bathroom to calm down while I calmed down. Heard a noise and went in the bathroom to find him having a seizure, head banging the bathtub. It scared the crap out of me and I always felt so guilty. He was re-homed because I couldn't take care of him. I heard his new owner loved him so much she would carry him across mud puddles. I was happy he had a new happy home but to this day I refuse to do much to punish an animal, always believing that somehow I caused that seizure.


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## holland

Yes I think I failed Rorie-in terms of training-but it is what it is -she is a great dog-she's happy -I love her and can't imagine my life without her so...we're just going to enjoy our life


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## Lilie

You only fail if you don't try. Not every dog is a social butterfly. Not every dog will 'fit' into your lifestyle. You may not have the skill, location, time etc. to fix every dog. 

I've had a dog that I re-homed. She and I were on totally different planets. She wasn't happy and I wasn't happy. I found her a good home. I would have failed her if I kept her out of any type of obligation I felt. 

If I purchased a dog for a specific sport and the dog wasn't happy doing it, then I would fail the dog if I forced it to participate. 

Failure is over rated.


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## Bob_McBob

My dog is a perfect example of rethinking "popular" early socialization. I didn't own him until he was almost a year, but I spent a lot of time with him at a large nature area where dogs are often off leash when he was younger. He also had no formal training until I got him, so he was used to doing whatever he pleased. He is not dog aggressive, but he has a very inappropriately high interest in socializing with other dogs, and reacts on the leash or in the car in frustration when he knows he can't get to them. This manifests in weird ways like him completely losing his crazy ball drive in certain situations around other dogs, which is particularly frustrating while doing training at home in the garden.

I personally failed him by not understanding the way frustration builds drive and can create behavioural issues like this. I was lucky to find a great trainer who helped me sort him out, as well as a sport he is so intensely interested in he can completely tune out all other dogs. He is a spectacularly well bred dog and I have no doubt he will continue to make significant improvements despite my failings. I am not happy with his current living situation because having another dog around makes it difficult for him to focus on training, but we're working through it.


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## Nigel

I should have had them remove my first lab's leg instead of saving it with the steel plate. He was hit by a car and broke his femur cleanly. He died at 6 from osteosarcoma that developed exactly at the site of the repair. Might have saved him, might not, trying to think positively of it and at least he was able to run hard for those six years.


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## wolfy dog

Yes, in the way past I had a sweet GSD protection trained (boarding/training) per advice of a police man after the dog had let burglars in. It ruined him as he bit a child and wounded the boy. At that time I didn't know what I know now and every trainer I consulted told me to put him down and I did. It is the worst failure to any of my dogs. None of my GSDs , present and future, will ever go that route again. That pain never goes away.


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## PhoenixGuardian

I do feel like that sometimes. Phoenix is very well socialized with dogs, and really doesn't mind them. People are another story. He hasn't been quite as aggressive lately, but still. He has genetic aggression (backyard breeder... Bad move, but I love him sooo much!) from his mother, and was in what I would call a rat hole for a puppy pen. 
Anyway...
I thought I socialized the heck out of him, but I must not have done enough, because he is terribly territorial, and protective of me and our property. He likes people who are not afraid of him, but his name is mud in our community. Minus his aggression, he is exactly what I could have possibly hoped for, but... I feel like I failed him big time on the socialization mark.
Yep.


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## wolfy dog

PhoenixGuardian said:


> I do feel like that sometimes. Phoenix is very well socialized with dogs, and really doesn't mind them. People are another story. He hasn't been quite as aggressive lately, but still. He has genetic aggression (backyard breeder... Bad move, but I love him sooo much!) from his mother, and was in what I would call a rat hole for a puppy pen.
> Anyway...
> I thought I socialized the heck out of him, but I must not have done enough, because he is terribly territorial, and protective of me and our property. He likes people who are not afraid of him, but his name is mud in our community. Minus his aggression, he is exactly what I could have possibly hoped for, but... I feel like I failed him big time on the socialization mark.
> Yep.


But at least he is alive.....


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## misslesleedavis1

Yes. Im sure I have failed them all at some point.  

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## shepherdmom

I rehomed a Great Dane once but I don't feel like that was a failure but a perfect success. After the honeymoon period of like 6 months she decided wanted to eat our senior female Shepherd. It was crate and rotate for months. A friend of ours female Great Dane Passed away and their male was lonely. They met our Great Dane and it was love at first site between the two dogs and with the people. So we gave her up to a better home for her than we were. 

I did fail with a dog once. It's how I found this forum. After Shadow died we were offered from the breeder a 2 year old that had been returned to her that had washed out of SAR training. I don't know what we were expecting but we screwed it up big time. She bonded with me on the drive home but when I got home she was aggressive with my husband wouldn't bond to him at all, after a month of trying different things and going to a trainer I gave up. Wound up taking her back to the breeder.


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## llombardo

I'm struggling with my dads dog. He just doesn't seem to fit completely in and I haven't really bonded with him it is not his fault, it's mine. I made a promise to him and I need to get it together. I'm hoping that once I start him in obedience classes things will change. He is just so energetic and doesn't understand his role in the pack and likes to push Midnites buttons. I foresee a fight in their future if he doesn't get some manners quick, again my fault. I stay on top of it and watch them carefully. Hopefully with age and school he will tone it down a bit. I do find that I enjoy spending one on one time with him. He is learning how to be loveable. He also has learned how to catch a ball and bring it back. I can see in his eyes that he wants and needs to feel accepted and I will get us there eventually. Geez writing this makes me feel guilty and I gotta go play with him...


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## misslesleedavis1

Llombardo I feel guilty for you  that is so sad. 

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## Cara Fusinato

My boy Shay -- it was supposed to be me and him roaming the world together adventuring as we desired. It started out great, but I had to go to Stanford when my dad had brain surgery for cancer. We were near the CalTrain tracks when a train went by full speed and scared him SO much. Then I got a special emergency approval to take him home on AmTrak due to an emergency at home compounding the emergency of my dad and had literally NO way home. On AmTrak, some guy grabbed him by the collar and scared him SO much. He was about 14 months old at the time and it just stuck like glue. He is afraid of buses/trucks/diesels/trains and strange men. We went to dog class and basic was okay, but we went to intermediate and there were three dogs that tried to attack him. Now he is beyond fearful of dogs (even the ones on DogTV). He's happy and loving at home and doing things like hiking and camping but he's so fearful. I added the sheltie because she's solid for roaming the world with and my husband has taken over my shepherd's heart (both homebodies). I think, though, he could have lived without the sheltie. She took over and he is not #1 anymore. If I could go back in time, I would go back to about this time 2012 and do everything over. We were on the right track to that point.


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## SuperG

Failing all along the way...I am....always learning however....

It's pretty true, many would agree...I hope...the more you learn and truly become aware, you simply find yourself in the same position...there is so much more to learn hence failure is always available. 

Dogs have so much to offer....no limits, so it seems at times...it's all up to the human to take it where it ends up.

SuperG


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## PhoenixGuardian

wolfy dog said:


> But at least he is alive.....


Its true, he is, but at times I can't help but feel like I have him for borrowed time... Which makes me feel literally sick to my stomach


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## Liesje

I may slack here or there on various types of training, but overall I think my dogs have it made! Two of them are dogs I got as adults after going through multiple "homes", being passed around by shelters and rescues. Indy was slated to be euthanized. These were basically stray or street bred dogs and now they have a warm house, good food, a fun yard, other dogs for company, big couches, and comfy dog beds. They do not care if they are not eating premium premade raw diets or getting the best of the best training. My GSDs are usually involved in more sports I can count. We're usually competed in something once a month and April - July more like 2-3 weekends each month. Maybe Nikon could place high in his class at a Sieger Show with a better conformation trainer/handler or maybe Legend could be farther along in Schutzhund but whatever, I don't see them complaining!


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## wyoung2153

Yepp, sometimes I feel like a failure to Titan because we are breaking fron SAR and he is so awesome at it.. but with my lifestyle and schedule and his small issues to work on, I just can't right now. I would love to go back months from now so we'll see.

My biggest failure would be Athena. To this day, I still feel like I could have done something different with her and she wouldn't have been sent back to the breeder and put down at a wee 7 months old. I think about her very often.


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## Freestep

Heck, I feel that way every day. I work full-time and have issues with chronic pain and fatigue, so after a 9-hour workday I have NO energy with which to train, work, or socialize. Myself or anyone else.  Most of my days off are spent picking up the pieces of the week that fell by the wayside, and I have to have a lot of "down time" as well or I won't be able to work the next week. Fortunately, my current dog is not terribly demanding. She does have a lot of drive, so we play ball, 5 minutes of that several times a day, and the rest of the time she seems content just to hang out with me. But I do see that she would excel at some kind of work and I sometimes feel she'd be better off with someone who would work her, but she's not even my dog now. She is a breeding bitch for a guide dog organization, who lives with me when she's not having puppies.

I have rehomed dogs in the past, and yes, part of me felt like I failed them, but once they get into a home that is a proper "fit" for them, I'm just happy for the dog. I still get down on myself for not being a better dog mom, but sometimes it's simply a mismatch and I think it's a lot better to find a home where the dog is happy, than to try to force a square peg into a round hole.


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## jafo220

I kind of always feel like I have let my past dogs down when they get to those final days of their lives. I always tell myself they had a good life and I had done all I could do for them but there is always that little voice in there that expects to do more even though I don't know what that "more" could have been. Regardless, it always creeps in. 

On the training front, I was getting to that point with Cruz. I was loosing more control by the day and to me I could only look at it as a failure on my part and the dog was paying for it as much as I was. I would look back to the start and try to figure out where I went wrong or identify gaps in training and couldn't find much but still there he was present day with little control. My fault totally for not exploring other means of training earlier on. Now that we are on a different path, things are looking up for Cruz and the rest of us.


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## Calea

I failed my dog many, many years ago in so many ways and it haunts me to this day.  I have vowed NEVER do do it again and I think that is one of the reason my girl that I have now is so spoiled! lol I still feel guilty for the girl that I failed and my husband thinks I'm nuts for letting it bother me still! 

I bought her from a puppy store (didn't know that was a bad thing back then), but looking back I KNOW she was from a puppy mill. She had all kinds of skin problems and allergies and thyroid issues. A year after I got her I bought a male one too. I fed them cr*p food from the grocery store...switching to whatever was cheapest.  Granted, I didn't have any money back then, but I WISH I would have researched it more. She was my best friend... so here is the worst part... When I got pregnant with my first child I got all freaked out about fur and germs and so they were separated from the main part of the house. I get sick still when I think about how lonely and sad they must have been not getting to lie in the family room with us anymore. Makes me cry just typing this. I hope there really is something similar to a Rainbow Bridge and that I will get to see her again someday and make it up to her. I failed my male just simply because I never loved him as much as I did my girl because he bonded to her and she to me.

My baby today goes everywhere with me, gets fed the best food and vitamins and treats and even sleeps with us. It will never make up for what I did to my previous baby, but at least I know that I have done all that I can for my faithful friend that I have now.


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## newlie

Anybody that worries and suffers over the hurts they may have inflicted on another living being cannot be too bad. But I know what you mean. When my beautiful yellow lab, Max, got to be 13 or so, he started having accidents. My husband also has a terminal condition and with the strain of everything,I don't feel that I was as patient as I should have been with Maxie. He had to be put down shortly before he turned 14 and I cried many bitter tears (and still do sometimes) wondering if he knew how much I loved him and that I knew it wasn't his fault.

Newlie was my first GSD and I have made plenty of mistakes with him. But I don't think the mistakes are as important as the fact that you keep trying. If one thing doesn't work, you try something else, and you keep trying until something does work. I know there are times that circumstances force someone to give up a pet they love dearly, but I feel sick when people appear to be cavalier about it. Commitment through good times and bad: Isn't that what most of us want for ourselves? Well, it's a two-way street.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

I failed Daisy . Very smart but had major reaction to female dogs,strangers and kids.I ened up managing her and probably not well. My issue was that I didn't train enough. If a dog doesnt have leash manners and cant go out in public then many things are complicated, excercise being one. Lucky on leash is a dream unless he is jumped by an offleash dog or he sees a squirrel or rabbit.(Just joking) Off leash he is DA. I did not work enough on that.Lucky may have been failed by my overwhelming him with Chevy and Thunder.Chevy and Thunder due to their dog reactivity and my health issues havent got the exercise and training. I had a heart attack about a month ago and Ive been running around seeing specailists so they and Lucky have not had much time w/ me.I think everybody looks back and says I wish I would have done this or not done that. Self evaluation leads us to positive changes.


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## Susan_GSD_mom

AAAHhhhhhh.....I wasn't going to post to this thread.... I knew it would be too emotional to do it, but finally decided maybe it would be good for me.

One of my wolf shepherds (yeah, I know, I said I wouldn't mention them any more...) my heart and soul dog. When he was seven years old, we found hermangiosarcoma of the spleen, I actually found it myself, stroking his side one day--I could feel it. So he had surgery before it ruptured, although the two vets who did the surgery said they couldn't get it out in one piece, they had to take it in halves. When I came to take him home the next day they asked me if I wanted him to have chemotherapy. At the time I was going to struggle to make payments to them for the surgery, I knew there was no way I could afford chemo for him. 

The next 5-1/2 months were great--he healed fast and had so much fun and energy, I realized that he had been ill for a long time and I had missed it. He was like a puppy again.

After those happy months he began to cough. The cancer was back in his lungs, and there was nothing we could do about it, it was too far advanced. My vet told me to take him home and enjoy him for as long as we could, and we would know when it was time.

I took my boy's huge head into my arms and promised him I would not let him suffer. I would know enough to take him back before it was too late.

One morning I knew. I just knew it was time, yet I told myself I had to wait a couple days, I had to be sure...

That was on a Tuesday. Friday I took him in to my vet, and his eyes showed the pain he was in. I had broken my promise to him, it was in his eyes. Yet he was so stoic--if it was possible for a dog to be forgiving, I could see that in his eyes, too. I cried so hard as the life drained from his body, and I cry now, 31 years later.

I have never forgiven myself for breaking that promise to him.

Susan


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## gsdsar

I do the best I can for my dogs. But I still feel like I fail them on some points. Maybe they don't get as much excersise as they should, maybe they don't get training as often as they should, maybe they don't feel fulfilled. 

Have I been a good enough trainer to bring them to their potential? I think about this a lot with my one girl Lena. She is extraordinary. I feel sometimes like I failed her because I did not try hard enough to find that one thing that she loves and excels at. And I know it's out there!!! So as she has aged I am trying now to figure it out. It's never too late. She is almost 10, and I am getting her ready for a BH. 

I don't feel like I failed a dog health wise. Working in the field I am pretty good at knowing when it's time. And knowing my financial limitations. 

But I often wonder if I hold dogs back. If, in other hands, they would be and achieve more than I could get them to. I see the amazing potential in my young male, and I KNOW, I can't fully realize his potential. But he does not care. He is happy. He does not care if he titles in IPO, certs in FEMA, or just goes on a walk. 

So I think the feeling if failure is on US. The dogs are really only looking for a few specific things. And glory is not one of them. 


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## G-burg

I don't think I've failed any of my dogs! I've done the best I can with each and everyone and I've learned a lot along the way.. Each one has taught me something different.. 

Have I made mistakes along the way absolutely! Have I felt like quitting and giving up, absolutely! Have we failed in trials, absolutely.. That's part of the process.. But I also have a good group of friends that keep me grounded, motivated and inspired!


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## SusiQ

Yep, one time - rehomed an extremely fearful small WGSD rescue (she was terrified of men and I had a husband and both my boys at home). She would spend the entire time hiding under the bed while the guys were at home. Worked through Echo with the pledge that she would go to a female-only home and that if that was not possible, she would be returned to me. Well, guess what? She was adopted out to a guy in New York (I'm in Ohio) and I have felt guilty ever since. I can't stop wishing I knew that she was OK. I complained, but to no avail. I was told that once a dog goes to rescue, you lose all control. I'll never do it again.


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## Bridget

I like this thread. I like learning from other people's experience (and it makes me feel better too LOL). I failed several dogs long ago who were not mine, but family members' dogs. It was cases where the owner was not taking good care of the dog and I should have stepped in and done the right thing and I didn't. I feel very guilty about these.

A lot about Heidi's life is managed rather than solved. In more experienced hands than mine, she could have probably had a better life. But I don't feel like I failed her, as she has always been well loved and cared for the best I knew how.


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## TommyB681

When Abbi died last year my parents were taking care of her because of my schedule. My parents were able to give her 24/7 care and I wasnt. However, we didnt know she was dying until she acutally went. I wasnt there when she passed and I feel like I failed her by not being there when she actually went. I had no way of knowing but it still eats at me when I think about it


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## A girl and her dog

I think there is enough push for perfection to make anyone feel like they're failing their dog on any given day. Sort of like the cosmetics and diet industry has done, making a profit on people's insecurities, I find that the dog training/obedience media explosion paired with people comparing themselves to something they read on the internet without knowing the writer's background is all in part breeding insecurities in the hearts of dog owners. The pet food industry is the equivalent of the cosmetics industry at this point. 
Personally, yes, I feel I have failed a few times. I adopted too soon and without enough experience and ended up rehoming. I adopted for the wrong reasons and bit off more than I could chew, rehomed. I failed those dogs. 
I currently have two that I'm settled on and committed to. Do I fail them? Sure, constantly, if I compare myself to the perfect internet dog owner, or a person that deems themselves superior. Obviously I'm failing them by taking the time to write this post; I'm literally taking, no, robbing them of precious quality time that could be spent with them playing or training, or obsessing over them. 
At the end of the day, my dogs love me, I love them, and I do the best I can for them every day. I also have a family and other responsibilities and I can't let memes like "I'd rather be homeless with my dog than go to work and leave them alone bewildered and confused and traumatized by my absence" make me feel like a cruddy owner. Hyper rescue-types will make anyone feel like a terrible owner. Well, y'all get the point. I hope.
Just a big 'ole doggy FAIL over here.


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## Declan

We adopted a young wolf/GSD mix a couple of years ago - a wonderful soul through and through. He had some behavioural issues, but nothing unusual for a GSD combined with extra intensity from his wolf heritage. To make a long story short, our cat fell ill and we had to keep them separated at all times because he was a hyper pup and _lived_ for harassing the cat. We decided to rehome him so he wouldn't be restricted to just one part of the house, often away from us because our cat was under constant watch. It wasn't fair. His new home was excellent, but he started having some issues with disorientation and hallucinations. He became so sick so rapidly that he had to be euthanized. I still feel horrible that he wasn't with us when he started going downhill. We didn't have him long, but we still had a strong bond.

I know we made the right decision to rehome him, but I will always beat myself up about it.


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## Ellimaybel

Declan said:


> We adopted a young wolf/GSD mix a couple of years ago - a wonderful soul through and through. He had some behavioural issues, but nothing unusual for a GSD combined with extra intensity from his wolf heritage. To make a long story short, our cat fell ill and we had to keep them separated at all times because he was a hyper pup and _lived_ for harassing the cat. We decided to rehome him so he wouldn't be restricted to just one part of the house, often away from us because our cat was under constant watch. It wasn't fair. His new home was excellent, but he started having some issues with disorientation and hallucinations. He became so sick so rapidly that he had to be euthanized. I still feel horrible that he wasn't with us when he started going downhill. We didn't have him long, but we still had a strong bond.
> 
> I know we made the right decision to rehome him, but I will always beat myself up about it.


 That made me cry a little. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I believe your dog always knew how much you loved him.


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## Declan

Ellimaybel said:


> That made me cry a little. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I believe your dog always knew how much you loved him.


Thanks Ellimaybel. I hope so. He was - and is, I'm sure - an angel.


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## Ellimaybel

Beautiful boy! He will greet you in heaven one day. They never forget their persons


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## GSTrainingAcademy

Definitely, felt like I let down my family dog as she was not trained properly. That's the reason why I started my GS training blog. While acting as a journal for myself, I hope it can help other dog owners too...


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## marbury

Yep. Every time I have to work late or am sick in bed or whatever I feel like I didn't earn my gold star for the day for doing right by my dogs. But it's not really failure, they live in the moment. The next day when we do get to go hiking or play fetch or run beside the bike they have no recollection that the day before they were stuck on the couch all afternoon.


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## MichaelE

Lisl is not a 'social butterfly'. She is from K9 bred stock and most of her siblings past, present, and future are, and were for police departments, and other law enforcement organizations or border patrol for the Canadians. 

She would probably not be as dog reactive as she is had it not been for several incidences she experienced as a very young pup while out for walks in the neighborhood.

On the plus side of those experiences, she is very capable of defending herself and warding off other dogs that are sometimes loose in my neighborhood.

She doesn't like many people either, doesn't like to be stared at and will let you know it, and is difficult to pet even by those family members who know her best. 

She would rather sit at my side or in my lap that be socialable.

She is a dog with traits that have to be managed because I cannot train them out of her. It's genetic, and that's really how I want her to be or I would not have bought a prospective K9 dog.

She is also extremely intelligent, eager to please, and a one-person dog. I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world.


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## VTGirlT

I feel like i am failing her a lot of the time.. But i am more afraid of totally failing her!


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## GSD Owner in Training :-)

I feel as though i have failed my GSD in the training aspect. And although he is 18 months we are working on it now. I know it's going to be a long road a head of us and he and I are not perfect but we take it one day at a time and see what works best for us.


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## Maxil

I failed my old GS lexy and I regret it till now, the poor thing had parvo and the day she died I wasn't beside her to make her feel comfy I really failed her and failed her hard , I cry everytime I remember how I failed her and try to imagine how hard was ut for her looking for me and I wasn't around with her


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## Muneraven

I have failed every dog I have owned in some way. 

I have missed signals from dogs that were so clear they might as well have typed out a message. I missed what they were trying to tell me because I am a self-absorbed idiot sometimes. 

I've had to rehome two dogs in my lifetime . . .and I should have known better than to take them on in the first place at the time.

The worst: I left my dog with my Mom when I went to Alaska. Now my Mom loved him, and he loved her, and it was good that she had him all those years. But I really didn't understand how much he loved me or would miss me. When I came back years later he was partly blind and deaf and quite old. I came up to him and he cowered back a little, then he smelled me. And the sounds he made . . . he wept. That's the only way I can describe it. He screamed and moaned and yodeled and just did a dog version of hysterical weeping for joy. Just talking about it now is making me cry. You see, he missed me terribly all that time. I didn't understand how much he loved me. I just didn't get it. I loved him, but to him I was the the center of his existence and I left. He deserved better. He was with me during some of the hardest times of my life and I paid him back poorly.

But I sometimes think this is always the case. They give us complete devotion and we give them back . . .some devotion. They are superior to us in how they love, I think. We can only aspire to be more like them.

The most amazing thing is that I truly believe with all my heart that not one dog I ever owned thought I failed him or her. They don't forgive you, they don't even accept the concept that you could wrong them. They just love you. It's amazing.


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## Ruger Monster

I worry about failing Ruger somehow. He's still young, so I cant imagine I've done anything to fail him yet, but I'm scared I'll do something wrong along the way and end up failing him. We are already planning on getting him trained with a very good program here, socialize him as much as we can, etc. It already sucks that I cant always be home with him, but having him HAS made me stop working so much of my life away!


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR

Sadly yes. My family dog Goldy. Male golden retriever chow mix. He was aloof, but very bonded with my dad. I had him since I was 8. He was a stray and he chose us. Him and my father were like two peas in a pod. Goldy was so fuzzy and cuddly and cute but he never wanted to be cuddled by me. One day when I was maybe 16 or 17, we were living in a house with wooden floors. Goldy was inside the house and I wanted to play and cuddle him. I started razzling him and pulling and pushing, just trying to rough house with him. Goldy slipped and did the splits almost with his hind legs. Ever since that day, his hips started getting bad, he started getting hip dysplasia. He started packing on weight because he didn't walk as much anymore. Goldy was euthanized when I was maybe 22,23? He lived a loong life, but several years of it were miserable and in pain because of his hips. By the time he died, he probably weight 120 lbs. a healthy weight for him was maybe 75? I'll never forgive myself. For as long as I live. I felt so guilty after that. I still feel like crying when I think about poor Goldy. I loved him, and now look back and realize what an idiot kid I was. From that moment on I have been really protective around my dogs and kids/teens. I NEVER rough housed with any of my dogs after that . But no matter what I do going forward I can never take back what I did to goldy. I'm so upset thinking about it now, and I have always felt so responsible for Goldy's decline and I don't know how to ever forgive myself. :rip: Goldilocks :-(


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR

Susan_GSD_mom said:


> I took my boy's huge head into my arms and promised him I would not let him suffer. I would know enough to take him back before it was too late.
> 
> One morning I knew. I just knew it was time, yet I told myself I had to wait a couple days, I had to be sure...
> 
> That was on a Tuesday. Friday I took him in to my vet, and his eyes showed the pain he was in. I had broken my promise to him, it was in his eyes. Yet he was so stoic--if it was possible for a dog to be forgiving, I could see that in his eyes, too. I cried so hard as the life drained from his body, and I cry now, 31 years later.
> 
> I have never forgiven myself for breaking that promise to him.
> 
> Susan


This makes me cry too. Not because of what you did (you loved him and did your best with what you had at the time) just sad because we know what it is like to PTS our furry loved ones. The loss is so mind boggling. Ugh I feel a lump in my throat now, just sad reading all these posts, and recounting my story too. I am glad we are all here though to share and be support to each other. THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart.


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## pianocandy

Yup. The girl we had before our current pup. She was my family dog growing up, and when my husband and I bought our house we took her. It took about two weeks for me to notice she wasn't as I remembered her, but my parents and siblings all said it was her personality lately and she was just slowing down and aging. Well one day her stools started getting soft, and then she started losing hair (which we thought was normal shedding due to temperature) and then one day this pup who had loved to go with me for miles on end couldn't keep up when I went to get the mail. We took her in and her red blood cell count was 8. It's supposed to be 28-32, and most dogs die when it drops to about 13. At that point we decided to let her go before she had the trauma of vet visits and tests with small chance of success, but I hadn't brought anything with me to the vet's expecting it to be an hour visit and we stayed for 4. She hadn't had food, and the poor girl was stressed. I wish I would have thought to make her more comfortable and brought her toys and such with. I also wish I'd listened to my gut earlier telling me something was wrong with my pup no matter what anyone said. Poor girl should have never gotten that sick without us catching it. Having said that I'm glad we caught it before she was in actual pain as opposed to just low energy so that's a small consolation. Now with Shayna, I will go with my gut.


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## Anubis_Star

OH yeah. Big time. When I euthanized my boy Luther for fear aggression at 3 yrs old. Granted that was the first BIG death I had ever experienced, but I woke up the next morning and it was the single worst paint in the world. I don't think I hurt that much even after losing my dad, simply because I felt SO guilty and like I had done the wrong thing. I regretted it for a LONG time and parts of me still wonder, but at the end of the day it's not fair to have to live with a dog like that for 10-15 years, and it's not fair to him to be so scared and stressed of everyday life.

http://www.germanshepherds.com/foru...-does-get-better-happy-birthday-luther-2.html


Geesh even now I'm crying again thinking about it. I miss my Lu-dog SO SO SO much and wish things could of turned out differently :'( 

Sometimes I like to think Berlin is Luther reincarnated. Berlin is just so happy go lucky, and nothing phases him. But his goofy personality reminds me so much of Luther! The way he shoves toys in my lap, then nudges my leg and sits back and looks at me. Or crawls into my lap and rolls over on his back, whining to be pet. So vocal like him. If you took all the bad parts away from Luther and left just the good, you would have Berlin.

I also like to think maybe some cosmic force knew my dad would be passing away soon after, and neither of them could be alone if there is somewhere after. Because I couldn't imagine my poor Luther waiting for me alone, but he didn't even have to wait a year to have my dad with him. I hope they're together and happy


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## Dnr2d09

I adopted a male supposed GSD mix, but I now believe he was full blooded shepherd. He was a clown, he was hyper, he loved life, and had a temperament to die for. My 2 year old niece could give him treats and he just knew to be gentle with her-that was a lot coming from a dog who could take out grown men in his excitement to greet new friends.

He wasn't without his flaws, he was absolutely neurotic about lights (flashlights, laser pointers, etc) and developed a habit of bolting. I tried to manage it myself and work on his recall. One night he bolted past me and out of the house (a new spin on an irritating trick) and I told my boyfriend we were only going to get lucky so many times. It drove me nuts when he did it because it was so unpredictable. 

I finally conceded and met with a private trainer to work on a plan. I purchased a remote collar which he was to wear for a week and then start classes. That evening, I missed his asking to go out and he peed in the entryway which he never did unless the circumstances were desperate. I cleaned up the mess and then leashed our other two dogs to go out and decided to take him with so he didn't slip out and bolt. I had his leash and my boyfriend's heeler mix in one hand, when we were walking down the steps, the heeler got traction and yanked both of their leashes right out of my hand. They took off without looking back. Thankfully she got distracted by a neighbor so I caught her and then went out to look for my boy. It was just getting dark, and he was jet black. That in addition to the fact that I could hear the heavy traffic outside the subdivision...my heart just sank. 

At first I didn't even want to go looking because I was afraid I'd find his body in the road. Finally I made myself go and it didn't take long to notice the car on the side of the road with flashers on. I just knew he'd been hit. I walked up to the woman not wanting to look down and asked if it was a black shepherd. Yes. In a panic I asked if he was hurt and she said "he's gone". In addition to being absolutely heartbroken, I felt so guilty looking at his body laying in the grass. He was absolutely perfect, not a scratch on him, but it was instant. I just sat with him and sobbed and told him how sorry I was. He looked asleep, but his body felt so different to the touch, just like stone. To this day I feel guilty for not training him sooner, for failing to keep him safe. It's been almost a year and I drive by that spot almost daily and it kills me. He was two, and was shaping up to be such a great dog. And I let that happen. I have friends who are vet techs and trainers who say there was no guarantee that behavior could've been corrected at his age but I still feel like I let him down. 

We recently started the search for another shepherd (this time through a breeder, I want to start with a clean slate and hopefully avoid my boy's bad habits) and one of the 8 month old pups looked just like my boy. Pulled at my heart strings in the best and worst way possible. We ended up choosing his brother, thinking it wasn't fair to bring home a dog that looked just like King...that just seemed too much like trying to replace him. An impossible task, but nevertheless.


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## maxtmill

Lilie said:


> You only fail if you don't try. Not every dog is a social butterfly. Not every dog will 'fit' into your lifestyle. You may not have the skill, location, time etc. to fix every dog.
> 
> I've had a dog that I re-homed. She and I were on totally different planets. She wasn't happy and I wasn't happy. I found her a good home. I would have failed her if I kept her out of any type of obligation I felt.
> 
> If I purchased a dog for a specific sport and the dog wasn't happy doing it, then I would fail the dog if I forced it to participate.
> 
> Failure is over rated.


I tend to agree. I have failed a couple dogs in my day, and have beat myself up over it. But a wise lady told me that rather than feeling like I failed, think of it as that I did not have what that dog needed. Maybe that just makes me feel a little better.


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## maxtmill

This thread is difficult to read, but at the same time it is a bit therapeutic for me to read how other folks have struggled at times with failures. It is so hard for me to forgive myself for stupid failures, because I love my dogs so much!


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## Brodi

Zane and Abby, two dogs we really never should of gotten. 

We got them both as puppies months apart. Zane was a Pit Bull mix and Abby could of been a mix of GSD, Boxer or Shiba Inu. Neither of them were stable and my families lack of knowledge probably made it worse. Neither got trained or socialized properly. 

Zane had been tortured with fireworks and shot by the time we adopted him at 8 or 9 weeks and Abby had been born in an empty lot. 

They became almost like litter mates until they hit about a year old and started fighting. My dad got Zane fixed (Abby was spayed before we got her) and the number of fights decreased but never stopped. 

Zane became anxious and started having health problems as he aged, including a sensitive stomach, skin allergies, and a pellet that traveled around his body. Abby became unpredictable.

Abby became to bare her teeth at us and the last straw was her attacking and almost killing one of our cats who had just been sitting there doing nothing. We rehomed her at the age of 6 to a couple who had experience with unstable dogs and the last we heard she was living a pampered life as an only pet and we still have Zane who is now 8, but won't be getting another bully breed or mix in the future.


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## L0b0

I failed a dog once. My wife and I decided our Saint Bernard needed some canine company. We opted for a rescue and I immediately gravitated towards this beautiful female puppy. She was 6 months old and we were told she was a German Shepherd/Staff mix. She looked like a Shepherd with a brindle coat and floppy ears (although I'm convinced she was a Dutch Shepherd mixed with a breed that gave her floppy ears). We named her Rogue. Within a week I noticed when I would approach her she would roll over and pee. This progressed to her emptying her bladder anytime I came near her and she would cower away in fear with her tail tucked. She only got this reaction with me. I firmly believe she was abused and came to fear men. This went on for a year, never seeing any success. It became very stressful because I wanted very badly to bond with her but she was just too afraid and stressed. 

I suffer from PTSD and I think we were both feeding off of each others stress and anxieties. The last weekend she was with us I had fallen asleep on the couch. I was covered completely with a blanket and Rogue ran in the living room excited and energetic and jumped on the couch not knowing I was there. When she realized it was me, she peed on me leaving me and the couch drenched in urine. I became enraged, the stress of trying to make it work and not having any success and some rage that comes in bouts from my ptsd kicked in. We made the decision that day that she needed an environment where she didn't have to live in fear of me. We re-homed her to a young lady who had recently lost her dog to old age. She lived in a house with no men. We still keep in touch with this young lady and Rogue is doing great. She lives in a great home were she is not living in constant fear. This young lady's boyfriend started coming around slowly and she does great around him apparently. This is what makes me feel guilty. Although I feel that we just didn't match up, I sometimes feel I could have kept working with her longer than 1 year. At least she's happy now.


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## Jenny720

These stories are making me pretty sad. I can see this as a great therapeutic thread. Dogs/animals can bring us great joy but also great heartache. It reminded me of the guilt I still carry with one of our dogs we had when I was in 5th grade. Her name was Fica- she was a poodle terrier mix and looked like a medium sized Irish wolf hound. We had adopted her and had her only about a year. This was back in the day where kids roamed free my best friend, sister, myself and Fica my dog would ride our bikes around the neighborhood. Fica was often off leash. She would always ride by my side and not wander. We were looking for a van that we heard that was hanging around and tried to grab a kid at local bus stop. I must of read to much Nancy Drew back and watched to many murder she wrote episodes. We were riding down a fairly busy road and I noticed Fica was not by my side. I kept calling her and calling her without looking back as I was on my bike. I heard a car screeching its brakes and a scream of a dog-my dog. We turned around and dropped my bike and ran to the corner where I was with her moments before. I ran over to the now tan/brownish car that had its door open and woman standing outside the car. My dog was laying in the road lifeless. 

I knew at that moment because I called her name, Fica came to me and was hit by the car. She was good girl such a good dog so smart. She was listening to my calls is why she got hit. The woman put Fica in her car and followed us home. I remember crying so much feeling like this was just a bad dream. I watched her lifeless body trying to will her back to life. Waking up the next morning was the worst. We went to school the next day as my mom thought it keep our minds busy. It was picture day in school. We still have those school pictures - my sister and my eyes are are red and our faces were puffy from crying all night and day. Even though I was just a kid I still feel very guilty going on that busy road without a leash and calling her without looking back. I still can cry a river over her even so many years later.


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## shakariah

Had Shiloh shepherd that was never a problem for me. Got her as a return to a breeder at a year old. I never had a problem with her but she bit someone going into my house when I was not there. Prior to this she would only nip people to let them know who was boss and whose house it was. Paid a professional person who said the dog wouldn't be good around anyone else ever, especially kids.
After that bad bite, I took her back to that same breeder to be rehomed. Hope she got a good one as the breeder was several hours away and would not answer me about her. I think I did the best for her under the circumstance and that was probably why she went back the first time, yet never was like that with me.
Now I got a puppy with no unknown prior history or issues. She is fine with all. But like everyone else you think you failed them and hope you did what was best for them. Thought pill to swallow.


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## Johnnny13

I have a Olde English Bulldogge. He was very difficult to train. We eventually got him to learn to come and sit. We tried outside private training and then eventually a K9 behaviorist. It turns out that he is actual mentally challenged. I still enjoy him but it's more like living with a wild animal. Our other dogs have learned to deal with him but it definitely is challenging.


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## Muskeg

I just lost a dog suddenly- she was healthy, happy and just a wonderful, special, friend. We were running, and she just collapsed. She was dead before I got to her. I originally thought she'd run into a tree and broken her neck somehow, but my vet thinks she just collapsed, probably her heart. Something congenital. It happens to human runner, I've actually known a couple who died this way...

I feel so guilty. I keep wishing I hadn't run with her that night (I had a late class), that I'd not taken so long in class, that my timing had been slightly different. That I'd called her with slightly different timing, that I'd gone to a different trail. etc etc. 

At least I can rest knowing she died doing what she loved. I have no regrets in the life I gave her, and she always knew she was loved. 

But the flashbacks I am having of just out running and calling her, her not coming, running to her, and her just dead, suddenly, they are strong and keep me awake. I had to call a friend to help me carry her out- that was hard but I blocked it out and didn't let that become a memory because I knew then I needed to just get through it. I feel like, somehow, I failed by beautiful girl, and I am not sure I'll ever get over that.


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