# Can I teach my puppy to be affectionate?



## CaliShepherd

Hi all, my puppy Leo is almost 16 weeks. I have one issue that I'm not sure on how to work. Leo really doesn't care that much for being rubbed, cuddled, or just being affectionate. If you do try to gently restrain him, he just kind of grumbles and kicks until he is free.
I know all puppies are different, but I've never had a puppy like this before. I know it's nothing personal on his part, but it almost feels like he doesn't like me!
Is there any way to teach him to actually ENJOY being rubbed and cuddled? He is just so cute, but I feel like the only bonding time we get is through training, playing, or walking. I really don't want him to grow up to be aloof to touch, is there a way to teach him not to be? did any of you guys have non-cuddly puppies that grew up to be affectionate dogs?


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## wyoung2153

CaliShepherd said:


> Hi all, my puppy Leo is almost 16 weeks. I have one issue that I'm not sure on how to work. Leo really doesn't care that much for being rubbed, cuddled, or just being affectionate. If you do try to gently restrain him, he just kind of grumbles and kicks until he is free.
> I know all puppies are different, but I've never had a puppy like this before. I know it's nothing personal on his part, but it almost feels like he doesn't like me!
> Is there any way to teach him to actually ENJOY being rubbed and cuddled? He is just so cute, but I feel like the only bonding time we get is through training, playing, or walking. I really don't want him to grow up to be aloof to touch, is there a way to teach him not to be? did any of you guys have non-cuddly puppies that grew up to be affectionate dogs?


Aw I can totally relate!! Titan wasn't/isn't very affectionate. When he was a puppy I remember asking my mom and even some on this forum the very same thing. Have grown up with labs, I had only experienced lab affection--constant need to be pet on or loved.

While I don't think you train them to like something they just don't, I think over the years you both will build your bond and your relationship will become different. At 5 years old, Titan has his routine "cuddle" moments. They are about 2 minute moments, but it's all he gives. They are very specific and the same every time. He just isn't a cuddle dog, but he does want to be right with you all the time.

I would say, try not to take it personally (the hardest part) and start finding what he does like and do that with him to build your bond. Titan LOVES fetch, it's what we spend the majority of the time doing. We built our relationship over fetch and training. I accepted long ago that he wasn't going to be a snuggle, cuddle me dog and accepting that has helped improve my relationship with him as he grew.

Imagine a friend of yours that just doesn't like being hugged or being physically touched. They aren't a bad person, they don't like you any less, it's just not their thing, you generally don't try to get them to like hugs or change that, you accept it and adapt to how they are. Same concept, IMO.


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## Sunflowers

This is a German Shepherd puppy.
It takes a couple of years.


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## Kyleigh

When Kyleigh was a puppy, affection was the LAST thing on her mind. It was all play play play and more play. 

As she got older, she tolerated some cuddling, but she is not a cuddler by nature, she prefers her space. 

Some dogs are very cuddly, others not to so much. You'll find out more as your puppy matures.


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## carmspack

you'll get there faster if you don't force your concept of affection on him. You like the rubbing and cuddling of the dog . The dog does not . Might be too stimulating , irritating , confining . Give the dog room. 

When you have hands on contact , make it relaxing and soothing -- finger walk massage , he'll soon be coming to you .


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## Jenny720

I think as your pup matures he can become more cuddly. Depends on their personality though and its hard to say at that young age as they dont like to sit still. Our last shepherd was not the cuddly time what so ever. Max is not as cuddly as our chihuahua but he is very affectionate and cuddly.


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## Jenny720

When your pup is quiet and relaxed is best time to turn him to a cuddle bear. Just make sure its cool. I know they can to hot and dont like that stifling feeling.


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## CountryGirl01

Find an itchy spot. My dog got way more affectionate after I found that he loves to have his belly scratched


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## Galathiel

Also, some dogs like certain parts of their body touched more than others. My dog doesn't care for his head being patted. He will accept it but would prefer you not do it, which of course everyone out in public naturally wants to do. He's not a particularly affectionate dog. It was MONTHS before he showed anything approaching affection (too busy for that girly stuff). He rubs along the couch like a cat and then stops with his tail handy so you can scratch above his tail. That's his favorite. I scratch his chest and legs and he enjoys it, but doesn't ASK for it to be done, if that makes sense.


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## Sunflowers

When I requested a dog, I told my breeder I wanted a laid-back cuddler.


I got exactly that... When the dog turned 3 :wild:

A breeder friend of mine told me, jokingly, that Robin gave me what I asked for, she just didn't tell me how long it would be before I actually got it.


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## DaisyDaws

Brando wasn't cuddly at all as a young pup, he was all landshark. At 6 months he is now super snuggly and affectionate. Perhaps yours will grow into it.


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## wolfblood

no need to worry.the solution is,stop trying to love your puppy.play with him,reward him,say good boy,but avoid anymore physical contact,act like a confident wise alpha,be the owner.let our pupp realize on his own that you are the alpha.ignore him,but the good type of ignoring.bring discipline.if you cant control or stop yourself from loving him,get a soft and cute little teddy bear made of soft material and hug him,bend him as much as you want and even show your pupp too some time.i had this issue with my current pupp and almost all about 15 dogs.i fed them but they did not love me,my father was never with them,and they loved him b/c i tried to love them.in dogs love is replaced by the place in pack and respect,or you can try to think of it as care.do above and your pupp will have no other behavioural issue that affects your relationship with the dog.and a real beautiful peice of poetr that translates in english is that,if relationships go beyond a limit,we only get sorrows,thats why we keep our meeting numbers with others less.and about being a cute pupps owner you and me both are just in one boat.try it and tell me after a couple of weeks how your pupp comes running to you and licks you and demands being petted.remember dogs need excercise,discipline and affection.but affection comes after the other two.i can write a whole book on puppy and dog behaviour and love except other advanced training or protection issues but i am a little short at time right know.let me know what you think about if this can help...happy howling,,,,


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## Traveler's Mom

When Traveler was a young dog, he used to run from me when I tried to cuddle. Even during the puppy years I'd try to lay down next to him while he was napping- he'd get up and lay down someplace else. I felt so bad.

But! He absolutely loves me and always keeps one eye out to see where I am, what I'm doing, where I'm going. As an example, if we are out walking off leash and I pretend to fall down, he will make a beeline for me and stand at attention facing out to ward off any body or any thing that might try to get me. That took a few years of maturing on his part but it's an example that a dogs love doesn't necessarily translate into people's definition of love.

He's older now and his cuddling abilities have somewhat developed. He'll sit on my lap now but only to get the rubs and scratches; not because he desires my hugs.


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## wolfblood

you just told a universal dog truth yourself, but I feel like the only bonding time we get is through
training, playing, or walking...spend time with the ones we love but respect their privacy.everything works only when the desired feeling, or behaviour is mutual.4 months of age is a crucial learning time,,and also very challenging for a good gsd owner.i grew up with dogs since i was born and the first one was a gsd.i used to play with him even before i learnt how to walk.


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## jackiej

Hhaha this is Atlas, he doens't like it when you try to pet him or hug him lol He likes being near you but he isnt to fond on extra touchy feely stuff. Try not to take it personal, it is not you. It hurt my feelings in the beginning too, but now its just funny to me. Now Atlas is a bit more affectionate and he is almost 9 months and this is a recent development lol


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## Cheyanna

Welcome to having a German Shepherd. Fiona is not a cuddle dog either. But I learned she shows her love not by cuddling, but by licking.


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## CaliShepherd

I feel so much better after reading everyone's posts. I actually didn't know this was common for GSD's. My first dog was a GSD, and he passed away from cancer two years ago, but he was always a cuddle bug. 

I'm going to take everyone's advice and work on bonding with Leo doing things he enjoys haha. I can see now that everyone's dog shows affection differently, so maybe Leo just isn't a cuddle guy, or he isn't one right now which is okay.


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## leo_j

CaliShepherd,

My dog (also LEO) is exactly how you describe. When my wife tries to pet him, he moves to a different location. I was initially concerned and it used to bother me. After reading here (and now this thread) , I understood that GSD's can take a longer time and some of them are not the cuddly kind. We now focus more on playing/tug/training and not worry about this.


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## Benny Boo's Mommy

Agreed with everyone here. My Ben is not super cuddly. He loves being near us (usually in the room with me and follows me from room to room) and he LOVES LOVES LOVES games and training, but he never looks for petting the way some dogs do. He likes to lay his head on my foot when I'm working at the computer, but if you pet him a lot he gets up and moves.

Basically I get good morning/good night cuddles, where he will come lay on the bed with me and snuggle his face into my side for a few minutes. He likes being caressed at this time, but it's only for a few minutes. Then he curls up at the end of the bed out of my reach. This is not to say I can't touch him wherever I want--I can. But he's like, meh, whatever.

But does he love me? Of course!


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## WolfsOwner

The cuddling will depend on the dog. Wolf is a HUGE cuddler. She wants to be very close, loves kisses on her face, wraps her legs/arms around you, and will lay her head on your chest and nap. However, this probably isn't typical, it's just her disposition. Exhibit A...the husband caught this photo in the middle of the night...excuse my sleeping self... haha


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## Sabis mom

CaliShepherd said:


> Hi all, my puppy Leo is almost 16 weeks. I have one issue that I'm not sure on how to work. Leo really doesn't care that much for being rubbed, cuddled, or just being affectionate. If you do try to gently restrain him, he just kind of grumbles and kicks until he is free.
> I know all puppies are different, but I've never had a puppy like this before. I know it's nothing personal on his part, but it almost feels like he doesn't like me!
> Is there any way to teach him to actually ENJOY being rubbed and cuddled? He is just so cute, but I feel like the only bonding time we get is through training, playing, or walking. I really don't want him to grow up to be aloof to touch, is there a way to teach him not to be? did any of you guys have non-cuddly puppies that grew up to be affectionate dogs?


Sabi was not cuddly, at all. She liked to be near me, but not touching. As she matured she got more tolerant but mostly with me, the rest of the planet was a waste of her time except kids, all of them.
Shadow actively fights any restraint, but has learned to take hugs only from me and at her discretion.
Buddy would sit one me if I let him, loves to snuggle and hug to the point where I have to push him away.
Don't force it, that's not ok. How would you feel if someone was always holding you still to pet you?
Most of the GSD's I have met either grew into cuddling, or remained a bit aloof in their attentions. None were cuddly as pups, they have stuff to do!


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## Regen

I have had a female who had to be near me at all times, would stress out when I tried walking out of her sight, but she was not all that cuddly. She would tolerate some attention, but would get up and move after a couple of minutes and lay down about 6 feet away. My male rescue puppy was a huge cuddler, and my current 9 months old male puppy is the most affectionate snuggle pup ever. He wants and loves human contact, really believes he is a lap dog...all 80 lbs of him lol. He was this way from the first day I got him. He is even more demanding of touch and attention than my first dog was, a Golden Retriever . Long story short....they are all different


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## LinknLog

My boy Lincoln wasn't cuddly either, he didn't seem to care about getting petted and only wanted to play. He's 10 months old now and WILL NOT LEAVE US ALONE!! I've renamed him "Roadblock" since he's always directly in front of me LOL! He's a big cuddly, whiny baby now, careful what you wish for!


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## gsforever

*Pup gets a little wild for a few minuts in mornings*

delete, wrong thread


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## IronhorseRomo

Kyleigh said:


> When Kyleigh was a puppy, affection was the LAST thing on her mind. It was all play play play and more play.
> 
> As she got older, she tolerated some cuddling, but she is not a cuddler by nature, she prefers her space.
> 
> Some dogs are very cuddly, others not to so much. You'll find out more as your puppy matures.



Very true. My Heeler is an affectionate dog. Loves attention and loves to be petted. OTOH - my 3mo GSD is not very affectionate. He doesn't mind being petted but doesn't go looking for attention. The only time I see him being somewhat affectionate is when I get home from work. That's when he wants a little attention. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## newlie

I don't know that you can change a dog's nature, but you may be able to help him see it's something that can be enjoyable. When I got Newlie, he was somewhere around 2 years old and he had no interest in cuddling, just play, play, play. I started just lightly running my hand down his side as he ran by, scratching his itchies, making a couple of little circles on his head, running my fingers down the the back of his leg, things like that. He is now a lovebug, but I think that was in his nature anyway.


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## Debanneball

One of the first things I did when I got Fritz was to hold him upside down in my arms (like you would hold a baby), I wanted to see if he would relax..he did. I did not do that again, I never tried to coddle him..if he came for rubs, he got them, but those soon turned into play! Now, at one year, he is cuddly, touchy, kissy..loving! We did this on his terms! Good luck


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## newlie

WolfsOwner said:


> The cuddling will depend on the dog. Wolf is a HUGE cuddler. She wants to be very close, loves kisses on her face, wraps her legs/arms around you, and will lay her head on your chest and nap. However, this probably isn't typical, it's just her disposition. Exhibit A...the husband caught this photo in the middle of the night...excuse my sleeping self... haha


 Love this picture, reminds me of my own boy.


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## newlie

Galathiel said:


> Also, some dogs like certain parts of their body touched more than others. My dog doesn't care for his head being patted. He will accept it but would prefer you not do it, which of course everyone out in public naturally wants to do. He's not a particularly affectionate dog. It was MONTHS before he showed anything approaching affection (too busy for that girly stuff). He rubs along the couch like a cat and then stops with his tail handy so you can scratch above his tail. That's his favorite. I scratch his chest and legs and he enjoys it, but doesn't ASK for it to be done, if that makes sense.


 Hey Galathiel, if they MUST touch his head, you might suggest that they make little circles on his head with their fingers rather than patting it. Newlie loves that, he will bump his head against me to get me to do it. Silly boy!


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