# Lost both our babies in 5 months



## MotherofShepherds (Apr 25, 2021)

We lost our first one in October suddenly to hemangiosarcoma. We had no idea she had that. She just turned 8 and was playful and energetic as ever. Turns out her spleen had ruptured. We stayed with her all night at the ER but didn’t come home with her. We were in total shock. So unprepared. Then as we were leaning on our boy to help us get through our grief he developed symptoms in his leg. He was treated for a ligament tear in his knee but never recovered. He went through a lot of unnecessary suffering for 7-8 weeks. Turns out he had bone cancer in that leg. We had lost a lot of time we could have had to treat the cancer and lost a lot of money on the wrong thing but hi suffering was the worst. He also hates going to the vet. He was a rescue that was abused. He was always sensitive to anything the vet staff did or the groomer. He perked up a once he was left alone and even chased dragonflies again but never walked on his leg. His symptoms increased so we called a different vet we heard about that came to our house for the final visit so we didn’t have anymore traumatic memories of him crying or screaming. She was great and treated him like he needed to be treated all along. I miss them both so much. They were our children since we don’t have any. I don’t think people around us understand the grief of losing them both and the 3 1/2 months of our boy suffering after misdiagnosis. I don’t know how I will forgive myself for letting that awful thing happen to him. I didn’t realize they forgot or didn’t care to do the xray early on. We lost him last month but I’m still having a hard time. She died in October and the trauma started with him the end of November. His “rehab” from the surgery he didn’t need was 8 long weeks of 3 trips to the vet a week so I know it’s not something you just shake off. He cried every time we went and Had a hard time getting him in the building. When we finally found out he had cancer and decided not to go back there it’s like he knew it and started eating again. I thank God he perked up his last month and even played in the snow before the sudden change. He was 9. I’m unfortunately remembering the crying and his suffering right now. Maybe that’s normal for this stage of the grief process. I hope I remember the good times more and can forgive myself and the staff. Maybe he didn’t suffer as much as it seemed, I don’t know. They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

I am so very sorry for these awful losses. Please know that you did the best for him that you could with the knowledge you had. We love pictures, so please share yours with us. Peace be with you.


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## MotherofShepherds (Apr 25, 2021)

Thank you for the encouraging words. I’m new to this site so I hope I am posting these right. The lighter shepherd is Autumn the one we lost in October. The darker one is Asher the one we lost last month.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I'm so very sorry for you losing Autumn and Asher, very lovely dogs. Everyone's recovery journey is very personal, individual and different. Grief doesn't 'play fair'. You think you're getting over it, and then it can hit unexpectedly like a sucker punch. Please be very patient and kind with yourselves, what was right for me was getting another dog.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

You have my deepest condolences for your loss of both of your beloved dogs. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been.


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## Biscuit (Mar 24, 2020)

That's tough! Loves those names too. 

Sending strength for you ❤


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

What beautiful dogs, what a huge hole in your lives. 💔


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

I’m so very sorry. To lose two so closely together must have been very rough. Sending lots of hugs.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

It is perfectly fine to cry and wonder but you can't go back and change anything, although we desperately want do-overs. 
I think if any of us were there physically we'd give you a hug (virus be damned) and tell you that we understand.


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

So sorry for your loss of Autumn and Asher, very beautiful dogs. Peace To you.


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## Catrinka (Aug 6, 2020)

I'm so sorry for your loss of two much-loved dogs. Asher and Autumn were beautiful. Thanks for sharing their stories and their pics.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Beautiful dog for sure and many of us can empathize with you; it's tough.
Take the time to grieve but understand there's lots of love left in you to share with another one when the time is right. For me that was always right away, a home just turned back onto a house without a GSD in it.


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## Honey Maid (Dec 25, 2020)

What a terrible thing to happen. It's so very hard to lose our 'kids', especially when it is so sudden and unexpected. Give yourself a hug from me.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

What a heartbreaking story. It doesn't matter if you have human kids or not. Losing a dog and in your case two, it hurts like crazy. I think all of us here have gone through this. I lost 4 in three years. Not everyone was old. Please, please don't beat yourself up with guilt. They know how much they were loved. You made the best desicions based on what you knew then. Their pain is over and I know in my heart, they never leave you. Heal well and I hope that in time your heart will be open to a new dog.


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## Buckelke (Sep 4, 2019)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Beautiful pups. Welcome to the forum


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## CactusWren (Nov 4, 2018)

My condolences. I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful pups.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

I feel for you. I've lost a dog to hemangiosarcoma, and another to osteosarcoma (bone cancer). Between the two, I'd choose hemangio as a "cleaner" death -- it's quick, it's pretty painless, and it's usually untreatable because it's already metastacized. They seem healthy and great, and then they're suddenly gone. It's jarring and awful for the human who wasn't prepared for the loss, but it's like the dog decides they're done with their mission here and just moves on to the next world. Osteosarcoma though...oof. It's an awful cancer because it's painful with a downward spiral of hard decisions. 

Like you, I don't have kids and am very connected to my dogs. I know this pain.

Even with a proper diagnosis, and a great team of vets who were hyper-focused on pain management and quality of life -- including oncologists from the vet school, integrative specialists doing acupuncture, etc. -- my dog didn't have much time. The cancer won. It was his time to go. I'd asked my vet at the start of this to promise to tell me as soon as he thought that we could no longer manage the pain effectively and needed to let him go. One awful day, he looked me in the eye told me that it was time. Releasing him from the pain was my duty, even though I didn't want to let him go. It was devastating.

I'm so sorry that you were robbed of your last few weeks of enjoying him with a misdiagnosis and needless rehab. I can empathize with your anger over that. I think I'd probably report that to the state vet board -- and I don't say that lightly because I have close friends who are vets and I tend to be very understanding of how hard their job is.

My dog who passed of osteo in 2013 still visits me. He isn't stuck in the disease that claimed him, or the awful final day when he developed a pathologic fracture through the middle of bone with the tumor. He's funny and happy, as he was in life. The part of the life experience as a dog that was meaningful to him was the love and joy, not the passage out of this world at the end. I know that's true of yours too. He's okay now, and I know what matters to him where he is now is you remembering the good stuff that he came here to share with you (and not letting yourself get swallowed up by the grief and anger). ✨🌈💖


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

I’m sorry. We’ve had a bad run of luck and lost two in quick succession as well. It is really hard. Hang in there


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## MotherofShepherds (Apr 25, 2021)

Thank you for all your replies. It is really helpful! We hope we can remember the good as the days go on and give the same love and devotion to another german shepherd some day.


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## AKD (Jul 18, 2020)

Condolences for the your losses, cannot imagine how it would feel to lose 2 in such a short time.


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## mikegray660 (Jan 31, 2018)

Best wishes on your recovery and sorry for your loss(es) - words can't truly capture the sorrow i'm sure your feeling - but know many of us have been there and understand the depth of your grief

m


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

My heart hurts for you. I am just so sorry. I think, as humans, we always want to be able to fix things and feel guilty, when we can't. At the end of the day, we do our best. You were a phenomenal owner who loved your dogs. Every dog should be so lucky. Praying for your pain to ease and your heart to heal. Sending really big hugs!


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## Gregc (Aug 10, 2012)

I'm so sorry. God bless you and them.
Greg


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## coolgsd (May 1, 2010)

MotherofShepherds said:


> They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


We have lost quite a few in our 70+ years and it never get easier. We send our heartfelt sympathy to you. I know while they were with you they gave you some of the most fond memories one could possibly have. For those who can, I think single cremation with ashes returned is a good option to saying goodbye totally. I talked to that little box of ash for years and unfortunately will have to add more boxes But some day we will join them.


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## Wilddoggies (Mar 24, 2021)

Wow. Yes that is hard. Our first dog developed a splenic tumor and we had her spleen removed. Surgery was a success...but she died of renal failure from the anesthetic. We also lost a dog to bone cancer at age 5. Euthanizing him was beyond traumatic as he fought and I had to lay across his body as he died. People often don't understand that often wth pets it's just as hard as losing a human friend. Mainly because unlike a person, you can't talk to them to understand what they are feeling, what they might want, and tell them why you are doing what you do. Take comfort in knowing you did the best based on the information you had, and I'm sure your dogs know you loved them and are still with you in spirit ❤


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## Wilddoggies (Mar 24, 2021)

Wow. Yes that is hard. Our first dog developed a splenic tumor and we had her spleen removed. Surgery was a success...but she died of renal failure from the anesthetic. We also lost a dog to bone cancer at age 5. Euthanizing him was beyond traumatic as he fought and I had to lay across his body as he died. People often don't understand that often wth pets it's just as hard as losing a human friend. Mainly because unlike a person, you can't talk to them to understand what they are feeling, what they might want, and tell them why you are doing what you do. Take comfort in knowing you did the best based on the information you had, and I'm sure your dogs know you loved them and are still with you in spirit ❤


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## SulcoPete (Sep 10, 2020)

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing my dog in 2015 was extremely painful for me...I think the worst sorrow I had ever felt. I can't even imagine losing two. Please don't be too hard on yourself. After reading your post and looking at the pictures, three things are obvious to me - you loved those dogs, they were well cared for, and you did the best you could do for them at the time according to what you knew. No Monday morning quarterbacking, please. If we knew then what we know now, we'd all be rich and happy. But that's not the way it works. You did the best you could according to what you knew. One more thing....please don't do what I did and wait too long before you get another dog. You won't be doing a disservice to your previous dogs' memory if you get another dog soon. I waited 5 years and that was a big mistake. They were the worst 5 years of my life. Now I have another dog and life is returning to normal for me. I wish you the best! Sending strength your way! You will survive this and better days are ahead.


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## Annekennedy (Feb 1, 2021)

MotherofShepherds said:


> We lost our first one in October suddenly to hemangiosarcoma. We had no idea she had that. She just turned 8 and was playful and energetic as ever. Turns out her spleen had ruptured. We stayed with her all night at the ER but didn’t come home with her. We were in total shock. So unprepared. Then as we were leaning on our boy to help us get through our grief he developed symptoms in his leg. He was treated for a ligament tear in his knee but never recovered. He went through a lot of unnecessary suffering for 7-8 weeks. Turns out he had bone cancer in that leg. We had lost a lot of time we could have had to treat the cancer and lost a lot of money on the wrong thing but hi suffering was the worst. He also hates going to the vet. He was a rescue that was abused. He was always sensitive to anything the vet staff did or the groomer. He perked up a once he was left alone and even chased dragonflies again but never walked on his leg. His symptoms increased so we called a different vet we heard about that came to our house for the final visit so we didn’t have anymore traumatic memories of him crying or screaming. She was great and treated him like he needed to be treated all along. I miss them both so much. They were our children since we don’t have any. I don’t think people around us understand the grief of losing them both and the 3 1/2 months of our boy suffering after misdiagnosis. I don’t know how I will forgive myself for letting that awful thing happen to him. I didn’t realize they forgot or didn’t care to do the xray early on. We lost him last month but I’m still having a hard time. She died in October and the trauma started with him the end of November. His “rehab” from the surgery he didn’t need was 8 long weeks of 3 trips to the vet a week so I know it’s not something you just shake off. He cried every time we went and Had a hard time getting him in the building. When we finally found out he had cancer and decided not to go back there it’s like he knew it and started eating again. I thank God he perked up his last month and even played in the snow before the sudden change. He was 9. I’m unfortunately remembering the crying and his suffering right now. Maybe that’s normal for this stage of the grief process. I hope I remember the good times more and can forgive myself and the staff. Maybe he didn’t suffer as much as it seemed, I don’t know. They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


I'm so sorry for your loss this happened to a friend of mine with her rescue dog and she still traumatized from it the only thing different is the veterinarian caught it just before in ruptured but she had no time to prepare herself it was found that day and she was put to sleep thank God the veterinarian found it they say it's very painful she still is having a hard time letting it go...prayers for you...


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I have had several breeds and mutts. But losing a GSD has been the hardest of all


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

It's hard to lose them close together like that. I am sorry for your loss.


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## Sandyjc60 (Feb 22, 2021)

MotherofShepherds said:


> We lost our first one in October suddenly to hemangiosarcoma. We had no idea she had that. She just turned 8 and was playful and energetic as ever. Turns out her spleen had ruptured. We stayed with her all night at the ER but didn’t come home with her. We were in total shock. So unprepared. Then as we were leaning on our boy to help us get through our grief he developed symptoms in his leg. He was treated for a ligament tear in his knee but never recovered. He went through a lot of unnecessary suffering for 7-8 weeks. Turns out he had bone cancer in that leg. We had lost a lot of time we could have had to treat the cancer and lost a lot of money on the wrong thing but hi suffering was the worst. He also hates going to the vet. He was a rescue that was abused. He was always sensitive to anything the vet staff did or the groomer. He perked up a once he was left alone and even chased dragonflies again but never walked on his leg. His symptoms increased so we called a different vet we heard about that came to our house for the final visit so we didn’t have anymore traumatic memories of him crying or screaming. She was great and treated him like he needed to be treated all along. I miss them both so much. They were our children since we don’t have any. I don’t think people around us understand the grief of losing them both and the 3 1/2 months of our boy suffering after misdiagnosis. I don’t know how I will forgive myself for letting that awful thing happen to him. I didn’t realize they forgot or didn’t care to do the xray early on. We lost him last month but I’m still having a hard time. She died in October and the trauma started with him the end of November. His “rehab” from the surgery he didn’t need was 8 long weeks of 3 trips to the vet a week so I know it’s not something you just shake off. He cried every time we went and Had a hard time getting him in the building. When we finally found out he had cancer and decided not to go back there it’s like he knew it and started eating again. I thank God he perked up his last month and even played in the snow before the sudden change. He was 9. I’m unfortunately remembering the crying and his suffering right now. Maybe that’s normal for this stage of the grief process. I hope I remember the good times more and can forgive myself and the staff. Maybe he didn’t suffer as much as it seemed, I don’t know. They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


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## BleuHaus (Oct 31, 2020)

MotherofShepherds said:


> We lost our first one in October suddenly to hemangiosarcoma. We had no idea she had that. She just turned 8 and was playful and energetic as ever. Turns out her spleen had ruptured. We stayed with her all night at the ER but didn’t come home with her. We were in total shock. So unprepared. Then as we were leaning on our boy to help us get through our grief he developed symptoms in his leg. He was treated for a ligament tear in his knee but never recovered. He went through a lot of unnecessary suffering for 7-8 weeks. Turns out he had bone cancer in that leg. We had lost a lot of time we could have had to treat the cancer and lost a lot of money on the wrong thing but hi suffering was the worst. He also hates going to the vet. He was a rescue that was abused. He was always sensitive to anything the vet staff did or the groomer. He perked up a once he was left alone and even chased dragonflies again but never walked on his leg. His symptoms increased so we called a different vet we heard about that came to our house for the final visit so we didn’t have anymore traumatic memories of him crying or screaming. She was great and treated him like he needed to be treated all along. I miss them both so much. They were our children since we don’t have any. I don’t think people around us understand the grief of losing them both and the 3 1/2 months of our boy suffering after misdiagnosis. I don’t know how I will forgive myself for letting that awful thing happen to him. I didn’t realize they forgot or didn’t care to do the xray early on. We lost him last month but I’m still having a hard time. She died in October and the trauma started with him the end of November. His “rehab” from the surgery he didn’t need was 8 long weeks of 3 trips to the vet a week so I know it’s not something you just shake off. He cried every time we went and Had a hard time getting him in the building. When we finally found out he had cancer and decided not to go back there it’s like he knew it and started eating again. I thank God he perked up his last month and even played in the snow before the sudden change. He was 9. I’m unfortunately remembering the crying and his suffering right now. Maybe that’s normal for this stage of the grief process. I hope I remember the good times more and can forgive myself and the staff. Maybe he didn’t suffer as much as it seemed, I don’t know. They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


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## BleuHaus (Oct 31, 2020)

We do the best we know when it comes to taking care of our dogs...Yes...We do learn by experience but it's not fair to beat yourself up for things you don't know...I have had many many German Shepherds and have had your pain many times...I am always consoled by the fact that I do my best by each one of them...I try to give them a great life and they each certainly do enhance mine...I rest by always thinking of the good times and know that their spirit will always be around me and I'll never forget each one...


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## Squidwardp (Oct 15, 2019)

I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss. What beautiful dogs they were. 

We lost our wonderful girl at 9, to hemangio. We did some doxyrubicin treatments to which she responded well over several months, but after the last in the series, she declined suddenly.
Right after that is when I started visiting this site.

I second those who say get another as soon as you can bear it. That was the only thing that got us through the loss.


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## CEMC (May 2, 2020)

I am so sorry and fully understand how badly you must feel. Our dogs are our children also and losing any of them has always been extremely hard. 
We too lost one of our beautiful dogs to bone cancer some years ago and it's a terrible disease for both the dog and the family to endure. I strongly suspect that the bone cancer was caused by flea dip. We dipped our dogs back then and I always got it on me in the process. I recall feeling dizzy for several hours after each time we dipped our dogs. We don't do that anymore.


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## tcass (Sep 26, 2014)

MotherofShepherds said:


> We lost our first one in October suddenly to hemangiosarcoma. We had no idea she had that. She just turned 8 and was playful and energetic as ever. Turns out her spleen had ruptured. We stayed with her all night at the ER but didn’t come home with her. We were in total shock. So unprepared. Then as we were leaning on our boy to help us get through our grief he developed symptoms in his leg. He was treated for a ligament tear in his knee but never recovered. He went through a lot of unnecessary suffering for 7-8 weeks. Turns out he had bone cancer in that leg. We had lost a lot of time we could have had to treat the cancer and lost a lot of money on the wrong thing but hi suffering was the worst. He also hates going to the vet. He was a rescue that was abused. He was always sensitive to anything the vet staff did or the groomer. He perked up a once he was left alone and even chased dragonflies again but never walked on his leg. His symptoms increased so we called a different vet we heard about that came to our house for the final visit so we didn’t have anymore traumatic memories of him crying or screaming. She was great and treated him like he needed to be treated all along. I miss them both so much. They were our children since we don’t have any. I don’t think people around us understand the grief of losing them both and the 3 1/2 months of our boy suffering after misdiagnosis. I don’t know how I will forgive myself for letting that awful thing happen to him. I didn’t realize they forgot or didn’t care to do the xray early on. We lost him last month but I’m still having a hard time. She died in October and the trauma started with him the end of November. His “rehab” from the surgery he didn’t need was 8 long weeks of 3 trips to the vet a week so I know it’s not something you just shake off. He cried every time we went and Had a hard time getting him in the building. When we finally found out he had cancer and decided not to go back there it’s like he knew it and started eating again. I thank God he perked up his last month and even played in the snow before the sudden change. He was 9. I’m unfortunately remembering the crying and his suffering right now. Maybe that’s normal for this stage of the grief process. I hope I remember the good times more and can forgive myself and the staff. Maybe he didn’t suffer as much as it seemed, I don’t know. They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


My 7 year old GSD had a spleen rupture a month ago. Biopsy showed hemangiosarcoma. It came out of nowhere. No history of it that we can find in his line. he just couldn't get up in the morning after not being himself the night before. Symptoms were of bloat so we took him up to the emergency vet and they found internal bleeding. After surgery, we checked into oncology treatments and opted to not treat that as the aggressiveness of this condition wouldn't be favorable even with treatment. So, we opted to bring him home for now and he's doing ok. Its only been a little over a month, i hope to get another month before he starts going down hill and progressively gets worse. Its hard especially for my wife as the dog helped her get through the accidental death of our son a couple of years ago. We'll just enjoy him while we can. 
So sorry for your loss. Not looking forward to ours hes been a great dog and better buddy and protector.


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## Crazee4gsds (Jan 23, 2013)

I'm so terrible sorry for your loss. It is so jarring, numbing and you're almost in a state of disbelief when it happens that close together. Your situation resounded so much with me and just broke my heart. I lost my first female GSD to GDV at almost age 10. We were still grieving her but enjoying watching our male revert back to being a puppy without her presence and dominance. Sadly, we lost him almost 8 months later to hemangioscaroma at almost 8 years of age. We were distraught to say the least because he was fine less than 48 hours before that until everything went awry. Many sleepless nights after we lost him just roaming the house. I was never one to go out and get another dog quickly until this happened. It was actually the best thing that we ever did 6 weeks after we lost our male we picked up our 10 weeks old long stock coat female. She truly helped heal our broken hearts. Like you, we don't have children either. Everything always revolved around our dogs. What we wouldn't give to have them back with us. Sending you hugs.


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## Kaushik (May 1, 2021)

MotherofShepherds said:


> We lost our first one in October suddenly to hemangiosarcoma. We had no idea she had that. She just turned 8 and was playful and energetic as ever. Turns out her spleen had ruptured. We stayed with her all night at the ER but didn’t come home with her. We were in total shock. So unprepared. Then as we were leaning on our boy to help us get through our grief he developed symptoms in his leg. He was treated for a ligament tear in his knee but never recovered. He went through a lot of unnecessary suffering for 7-8 weeks. Turns out he had bone cancer in that leg. We had lost a lot of time we could have had to treat the cancer and lost a lot of money on the wrong thing but hi suffering was the worst. He also hates going to the vet. He was a rescue that was abused. He was always sensitive to anything the vet staff did or the groomer. He perked up a once he was left alone and even chased dragonflies again but never walked on his leg. His symptoms increased so we called a different vet we heard about that came to our house for the final visit so we didn’t have anymore traumatic memories of him crying or screaming. She was great and treated him like he needed to be treated all along. I miss them both so much. They were our children since we don’t have any. I don’t think people around us understand the grief of losing them both and the 3 1/2 months of our boy suffering after misdiagnosis. I don’t know how I will forgive myself for letting that awful thing happen to him. I didn’t realize they forgot or didn’t care to do the xray early on. We lost him last month but I’m still having a hard time. She died in October and the trauma started with him the end of November. His “rehab” from the surgery he didn’t need was 8 long weeks of 3 trips to the vet a week so I know it’s not something you just shake off. He cried every time we went and Had a hard time getting him in the building. When we finally found out he had cancer and decided not to go back there it’s like he knew it and started eating again. I thank God he perked up his last month and even played in the snow before the sudden change. He was 9. I’m unfortunately remembering the crying and his suffering right now. Maybe that’s normal for this stage of the grief process. I hope I remember the good times more and can forgive myself and the staff. Maybe he didn’t suffer as much as it seemed, I don’t know. They were both just pure love. The deepest I have known. Sorry for the long post, this is just so hard. My heart is broken.


Very Sad. I do not have words to express my feelings.


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

I am so sorry. It’s heartbreaking. Several years ago I lost my 14 year old Dobe, and then 17 days later lost one of my Italian Greyhounds to hemangiosarcoma. It was a tough time.


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