# Training and Bonding...can a GSD be equal with 2 people?



## lizzkatris (Apr 29, 2010)

Just thinking ahead: we are starting to make plans for our future GSD and training is a BIG one. I've been the primary trainer of our other 3 dogs and have even started competing. I basically take primary responsibility of the pets in general as they were my "breed of choice". Now that we are getting a GSD like my husband has always wanted he keep saying he wants a more active role. I know he hopes the GSD will be somewhat "his dog" and be very responsive and attached to him like the others are to me. I plan on showing this dog in at least rally, obedience and agility, possibly conformation. Will this likely bond the dog more closely with me? I've heard GSDs often bond more closely with one member of the family. Do people have experience with their dogs being equally responsive with two owners? I would like a more in depth look at ways couples/families all work/train with their dogs. Thanks!


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## Samba (Apr 23, 2001)

I guess it really depends on how you do it and on the dog. Since I train for competition and my husband does not, there is no way he can "compete"with me regarding the dogs. They all choose me over him. If I am gone, then they are great for him in general. 

If I were going to make a dog my husbands dog, then he would have to be the primary trainer, I think. Maybe it would be different if he spent more fun time with them... like taking them on trips to the park and river, etc. 

Even though my husband is the primary caretaker as far as going in and out and feeding, it seems the training relationship is the main factor with mine. We can tell how it is because when I am gone, they all search the house for me. When he is gone....out of sight, out of mind.


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## Veronica1 (Jun 22, 2010)

My husband & I take turns with training - in class & at home. Panzer responds the same to both of our direction. Panzer follows me around the house, but DH lays on the floor to play with him when he gets home before I do, so we are both invovled with him in day-to-day life too. We're very happy with the bond Panzer has with both of us, though I'm pretty sure I'm Panzer's favorite.


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## Caledon (Nov 10, 2008)

Can a GSD be equal with 2 people, I'm not sure.

Dakota is my dog. I train, groom, exercise, take to the vets, clean up the poop etc.

My husband does not do anything except clean poop occassionaly and play with her. This has a big impact on how she listens to him. She does very well. I was talking to my obedience instructor about how I do all this stuff and how she listens to him, as well as great focus, and I did all the training, blah blah blah . She told me that during play time obedience is in the equation - getting dog to sit before throwing the ball, tell her "out" when playing tug, etc. Play time obedience is more fun. When I do the training it tends to be formal - ok now we are working type of thing.

I'm not sure who her choice would be. If we are in the family room and one of us leaves, she will follow the person that left, but most of the time it is me so my husband thinks she picks me over him. 

My husband does interfere with my authority sometimes and it really ticks me off. If I'm in the backyard and she is chasing a squirrel or sniffing as I'm calling her he will bellow out the same command 1 second after I gave the command for her to come. Now he thinks she is coming becasue he said so and therefore she listens to him better, but in reality she was already there as his command was issued immediately after mine. He is a little surprised that she comes and sits front to me not him, therefore in his eyes she likes me better.

I want her to be my dog, but not really, I want her to be our family's dog who loves and listens to everyone. I would say she is equally responsive to both of us.

Dakota does beautifully with my obedience instructor. When my instructor demonstrates a sequence she does it Dakota and I sit back and to watch and learn. I notice Dakota glances at me first before she goes off with her, but she does listen to her well too, althogh there is no bond there. I'm very impressed with her heeling with the instructor.


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## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

My husband and I split dog care-taking duties equally. That includes feeding, walks, classes, and grooming. He probably plays with the dogs more often, but I take the dogs on longer walks, and I'm the cook so I give lots of treats out. The house rules are strict, and we are in agreement on them, so no one gets to be the meanie versus the nice parent.

That being said, I am fairly sure Niko (purebred GSD) is equally attached to us both. Niko is concerned when my husband leaves the house, but not overly stressed by it since I can redirect his attention to something fun. Not sure what Niko does when I leave... Niko follows me around the house, keeping an eye on me. But he'll do that to my husband too.

Unless we just got lucky with Niko, I'd say yes a GSD can equally bond with two people.


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## JKlatsky (Apr 21, 2007)

With our dogs at home we split duties (although I'm pretty sure I do more). But it's the training relationship that most clearly decides the person the dog bonds to. 

Our dogs will listen to both of us, so it's not like I take out a stranger's dog if I take out one of DH's dogs and he can handle mine. BUT if we are both there together...they definitely go to their trainer/handler first.


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## aubie (Dec 22, 2008)

Anna is equally bonded to both of us, we're both very involved with her, just on different levels.

I do most of the:
-feeding
-training
-exercise
-outings
-hugging

DH does:
-playing
-spoiling
-butt scratching
-occasional feeding

So there you go.  If something scares Anna, she comes to me or looks to me. But overall, bondwise we're equal. Each dog is different, but I think as long as everyone is involved on some level with the dog, they can bond with multiple people.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I do all of the care taking with the dogs. I also do all the training. Our GSD has bonded to each of us, just in a different way. 

Hubby plays hard with our GSD. Hubby means good times. When I go out to the barn I'm working horses, so our GSD doesn't come. But when Hubby goes out, he is going out to feed and the GSD is allowed to come with. All fun and games. 

On the other hand, while I play and lavish our GSD with lots of attention, I also expect obediance. I'm not going to tell him twice to sit. I ask once, and then correct. I follow through with NILF, always. 

The biggest difference that I can tell with Hondo's behavior with regards to my hubby and I - is when hubby bear hugs Hondo, Hondo will tolerate it and when released he will break away and run for a ball or toy. When I bear hug Hondo, he melts and ends up pudding on the floor wanting loving.


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## Samba (Apr 23, 2001)

Yes, I think if the dog has expectations and experiences of good times with both people that it is possible.

Now, my friend did everything with her dogs. Her husband would occassionally make a trip through the kennel and the bitches would leave her and race to him drooling and grovelling. lol So there is sometimes some of that going on!

I am selfish and want all the dogs, especially the German Shepherds, to myself. Therefore, I have not figured out "sharing".


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## Veronica1 (Jun 22, 2010)

Lilie said:


> The biggest difference that I can tell with Hondo's behavior with regards to my hubby and I - is when hubby bear hugs Hondo, Hondo will tolerate it and when released he will break away and run for a ball or toy. When I bear hug Hondo, he melts and ends up pudding on the floor wanting loving.


So sweet :wub:


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## Whiteshepherds (Aug 21, 2010)

Ours respond to us both but our female really adores my husband, that's her buddy. When he's home she's at his side no matter where he goes. 

Harley is an opportunist...who ever has the ball, toy, bone, butt scratches etc. gets his attention. 

Out in public they listen to me much better than him. They do what he tells them to do too...they just do it with an attitude. 

DH doesn't do much training but he plays with them all the time when he's home and he takes them in the car at least 5 days a week to get gas, go to the bank etc. Clearly he's more fun.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I do all the training, feeding, brushing, trips to vet's, you name it- and they both adore my husband. He plays a lot rougher with them and they love it and when he speaks, they listen! Uschi gets to be a real PITA when he's traveling but as soon as he gets home she's much better. So I guess it depends, I would say Stosh is 'my' dog and he's stuck to my side all the time but they love my husband just as much. Which kind of ticks me off- I do all the work, he gets all the fun!!


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

my dogs are bonded to me. Riley is about the only one of the 5 we have who actually listens to my husband for anything. But they're all bonded with me. My husband will have to do some pretty heavy distracting to get noticed for more than 5 minutes. I feed them, train them, vet vists, everything. He just cleans up the yard. Honestly we've tried training with just him doing it but he continually changes things up, doesnt remember the commands. An example is off in our house means get off the furniture or if they jump on someone we say off. Well my husband says down for everything and they were taught down to lay down so imagine their confusion when they're laying on the couch and told down. They'll walk nicely on the leash for me and they pull like a freaking bull with him (except Riley whom we can walk offleash). I'm home more often. So far, our dogs will play with him but thats about it. They listen with attitude simply because they know they'll get in trouble if they dont. Well Shelby doesnt listen to him at all for anything even when food is involved. But i also have trouble getting her to listen sometimes too. She was previously abused and allowed to do whatever she wanted so we're working on it. I do think that because my husband doesnt take ANY kind of active role in their care, he's viewed more along the lines as that one guy who lives here and occassionally does something for us besides let us outside to potty. 

If your husband is anything like mine, you love him to death, but cant trust a word he says in regards to the animals, i think the GSD will bond more to you than him anyway. even our 4 month old Shasta pup looks at him like he's lost his mind if he thinks she's gonna listen to him. A massively active role on both parts need to be involved for the dog to fully bond with both or primarily him. You could try the tether method but thats not always recommended.


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