# 10yr old Trooper



## elginhaus (Jul 12, 2002)

Trooper is a rescue that we've had for 5 years. Always in terrible shape either physically, emotionally, mentally, we knew we could never adopt him out. He has mellowed out so well the last 2 years that he's become a majestic senior. I really didn't think he would make it the past 2 winters. It started the winter of 2006. Spring and Summer helped him recover. I told myself that I would not make him endure the pain another winter. Last winter was more mild and I did not see the pain, stiffness, limping that he's had. 

This year he's been miserable. He has no muscle tone in his hips. He can't get up by himself. If you try to help him stand, he becomes self conscious and immediately lays down and won't budge. He'll go 15-20 hours without going outside to relieve himself. That means he's not drinking water and not eating much. If we can get him up to eat, then we have a pretty good shot at getting him outside. 

He goes through Rimadyl like candy if we let him. The Vet we have is a small town "village" vet. We talked with her in the late Summer early Fall because Trooper colapsed and couldn't get up for 3 days. She sold us Rimadyl and Dasuquin. $150. She would not discuss putting him down. Flat out refused. Told us that we could be charged with cruelty.

The only vet within 30 miles.

Trooper has only a couple of teeth. He has chewed them to his jaw line. His hips are dissolving. He's in constant pain. He won't move for days at a time. Now the vet says the Rimadyl should be replaced with regular aspirin. Cheaper and less harsh on his liver.

My husband doesn't want to consider losing Trooper. Trooper is his last boy. 

Trooper can barely walk the backyard when he is out. Trying to squat for a bowel movement, his hips and back legs are spread apart as far as he can to try and balance himself. The last few days he's been tipping over and falling to his side. 

I am all about pride and dignity. My husband is about holding on.

What would you do?


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

This is really heartbreaking. I have been through this with my own dogs and with friends' dogs. It is very difficult to let go and I think when you live with a dog and watch their gradual decline it is easy to get accustomed to each progressive infirmity. 

If this were my dog I would give him the gift of humane euthanization. The fact that he cannot get up and will not allow assistance and is therefore waiting so long to go to the bathroom, eat, drink, etc. says volumes about his quality of life. 

I hope you DH will read this: as hard as it is to let them go, when they are suffering it is our duty to do so. We cannot hold onto them for ourselves; we must respect their right to a good life and a good death. 

I wish you strength and peace in this difficult decision making process. And I hope you can find a vet who truly cares about animals who isn't too far away.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

It's hard. But one thing I would have done a while back would be to find another vet. (I spent several years in Wyoming. 30 miles is a piece of cake.) 
Here are a few things I have found helpful for my soon to be 14 yo & soon to be 11 yo --
Accupuncture & chiropractic
Bigeloil sprayed on where it hurts (horse linament that contains caspium (pepper) and menthol or eucalyptus) which stiumulates the circulation & helps with muscle tone. 
Massage (circulation & muscle tone)
Derramaxx 
a sling

Would I euthanize him? Hard to say. We don't consider that with humans that are in pain. Is there still something that lights up his life - an activity that he loves? That's one of my gauges. My present two love company and love visiting the barn. 

I did put my 15 yo down 11 years ago. She had quit eating, paced, and had a vacant look. Her kidneys were failing and nothing I offered worked. I pulled her off the equivalent of dialysis when I realized that it was very painful for her and wasn't really helping. She started refusing the home cooked food that had been perscribed.


One thing I would consider is talking to the dog - especially having your husband talk to the dog - I would tell him how much I enjoyed his company, what a good dog he had been. Then I would tell him that it was OK for him to leave. It may sound terribly corny but I've done it. This was a dog that I had jokingly had a pact with that she would be around until she was 18. Also the dog referred to in the previous paragraph.


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## Keegan62 (Aug 17, 2008)

I know how hard all of this is
You gave him something no one else could love and a good home to an older dog that no one would keep

Part of loving any animal is the terrible part of letting them go when it's their time it is so devastating but when they have no quality of life it is time........

The vet that said you could be charged with cruelty is CRUEl herself what a terrible vet NOT YOU and I would never go to them.... 

I was a respiratory tech for 20 years and I watched all these people come to see loved ones on machines basically vegtables.... and say oh how great they look etc etc.... Just guilty people that cannot let go.... Love is doing the best for the animal not what is best for the owner..... and that should always be the key..... He cannot be happy falling when he goes potty
You are right about dignity right now he is losing it and what are you holding on to watching him suffer....
If it were me I would do the kind thing and put to sleep...


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## elginhaus (Jul 12, 2002)

Trooper was sent to the Bridge today. My husband made the appointment and would not wait until I could be there. He is angry, resentful, hurt that his boy is gone. Its not my fault that Troop's body failed him.

Yet its my fault because I did not want Trooper to remain in constant pain, unable to get up for a drink of water. Not able to walk the distance to the door. Not wanting to hear him cry in pain for hours a night. Terrible, heartless, cruel mom. I should be shot.

Love you big boy.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

bon, I am sorry for your pain. Some times it takes men a bit longer to come to terms with things. I know I am the mental tough one in the house, DH can't handle to be there to say good bye to one of the dogs. That doesn't mean he doesn't love them, he just doesn't know how to deal with the saying good bye part.

RIP sweet Trooper.

Val


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## elginhaus (Jul 12, 2002)

My husband is so angry with me. He feels as though I pushed to have Trooper put down. That I didn't love him. I listened to Troop cry all yesterday evening. I watched him try for 3 hours to get to the back door. Once back in, I watched him collapse 2 steps in and not move. I looked into his eyes as I laid next to him, talking to him, rubbing him and telling him that I understood, telling him what a good boy he is and how much momma loves him. 

My husband called today "it's done, I hope you're happy." Then he hung up. 

How do you get past that?


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

Bon, these are just some of my thoughts. 

A lot of men do not think like women. He is hurting and lashing out. He can't see past his pain to realize that you are hurting also and most men suck at expressing their feelings. Also I think as we maybe more so with men as we age we feel more frail and closer to the end and seeing life cycles end it might scare some people.

When you see him I think I would ask if we could sit down and have a talk. Explain how it tore your heart out watching your (bon & dh) regal Trooper struggling with just being able to move and crying in pain all the time. Tell him I feel you are blaming me for wanting to end the suffering of Trooper and that you didn't love him. Tell him the only thing that gave you the strength to let Trooper go was your love for him and not wanting to see him in such pain.

If that all fails then suggest one of you take a vacation, temporary or permanent because there is a major lack of understanding there.


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## LisaT (Feb 7, 2005)

I think that's very well said Wisc.Tiger

Bon, thank you for putting Trooper first.








Trooper


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Bon,

I'm so sorry about Trooper. And I'm also sorry that your DH acted in the way that he did. You must be hurting so badly now. I can't explain his behavior except to say that it wasn't about you and that Trooper knew how very much you loved him. 

Take good care of yourself,


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

I also think you absolutely made the right decision. My guess is that your husband, in his heart, knows that. But he's lashing out because he's hurt and angry that his boy had to leave. In times like that, we often say things we don't really mean.

None of us wants to let them go, but I couldn't, for one second, let an animal suffer. With my first dog (as an adult), I let her go way too long. I didn't want to go through the pain of losing her, so instead I will always believe that I let her suffer for too long. She wasn't in pain, but she had gotten to the point where she was senile, was pooping all over herself (I bathed her daily), had such a hard time getting up that she made sores on the sides of her paws (which I treated each day). I was wrong in not ending her suffering sooner and I will always regret it. 

I think you were brave to make the decision you did and that your decision was made with only Trooper's well being in mind.

Take care...









Run free and healthy Trooper...


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## elginhaus (Jul 12, 2002)

Thank you so much for your responses. Coming home tonight has been hard. I think my two girls (Reeses and Sara) think that Troop and dad are together because they're both gone. I haven't talked with DH since he hung up on me 12 hours ago.

Its not as though we haven't had pain with other losses. We spent years in rescue and quit because of the pain and loss. What happened? We should be honoring Trooper. Troop would not want his passing to split mom and dad. Its not like we haven't seen this coming. He's been fighting his body for 2 years. 

I'm sorry, I'm shaking my head and trying to talk it out. I guess I shouldn't try to put ya'll in it.

Thanks again so much for being here today.


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## LisaT (Feb 7, 2005)

You are among friends here. 

Best of luck when you see DH, sounds like it might be rough for a bit.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

All I can suggest is that you print out this thread and fold the paper in such a way that this part



> Quote: My husband is so angry with me. He feels as though I pushed to have Trooper put down. That I didn't love him. I listened to Troop cry all yesterday evening. I watched him try for 3 hours to get to the back door. Once back in, I watched him collapse 2 steps in and not move. I looked into his eyes as I laid next to him, talking to him, rubbing him and telling him that I understood, telling him what a good boy he is and how much momma loves him.
> 
> My husband called today "it's done, I hope you're happy." Then he hung up.
> 
> How do you get past that?


is where he sees it first and put it on his pillow or where it is the first thing he sees. He is probably hurting and lashing out at you because he feels he can and you will understand ..... meanwhile you are hurting yourself.




























to you all!

I'm very sorry for the loss of your special, beautiful boy and I feel for you all in that this sad loss has caused you both such grief - I very much doubt that would have been Trooper's wish for either of you.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

Bon, we are a group, here to support, some times like a family where we can fight and squabble, but always here to support one of our members and friends in need. I know you don't post as much as you use to but many of us know who you are and are here for you to lean on. So lean away when you need us.

Hopefully you DH will open up, because I really think it is his pain that he doesn't know how to deal with that is causing him to lash out.

Val


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Let him (DH) work it out. He will. Let him yell and rave. Getting defensive when someone is angry is counterproductive so just let him rave and vent, talk, sulk whatever.

Now this is coming from an old spinster so what do I know about it eh?


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Hi Bon,

Just checking in on how you're doing.


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## elginhaus (Jul 12, 2002)

Well, to update since you've been so supportive. We went for a drive this morning. He wanted to ignore the topic. I asked him what happened with Trooper. He said that the vet (yes the same one from above) berated him and pressured him into using all the meds to get Trooper through until summer. Summer would get him through hopefully until Fall. Reg told him that I (me) had made the decision to have Troop put down so he was fulfilling my wishes. 

He said Trooper was laying on his cushion (that I told Reg to make sure he took) and Reg was holding him. When the shot was given, Troop looked up at Reg and then went limp. Reg felt as though he betrayed him.

Reg was crying in the car and felt so much guilt.

I told him that we gave Trooper 5 wonderful years that he wouldn't have had. We took care of him the way we promised. I told him that he had to believe that the most important part of keeping the promise to Trooper that we would always take care of him, also included making his passing the best it could be. I told Reg that Trooper was loyal, loving, devoted and very intelligent. Trooper had not been happy in his body for a very long time. For Trooper not to be able to go on walks or run around chasing birds from the yard made his life less than he deserved. For him not to be able to get a drink when he was thirsty or to scratch an itch made his life less than he deserved. 

I told him that when Trooper looked up at him it was in love and devotion and trust. I told him to realize that he wasn't fearful, he wasn't fighting. I believe he was telling dad it was okay and thank you. Reg didn't betray him. He was being the good father that he has always been.

He said that he had to lift Troop into and out of the car. But once he was on his feet, his head was up, ears were up and he tried his best to walk. I said he did that because he was on leash with his dad and he never wanted to disappoint dad. He had too much pride, dignity and love for that. That effort did not mean he wasn't in pain, he just went beyond his pain for his dad.

I also told Reg that the Vet had no right to pressure him and to lay so much guilt on him. It wasn't his place. The decision is so hard to come to that once done, a vet should not make the judgemental allegations that this one did.

You are right - Reg has to come to that himself. I can't give that to him.

Once the talk was over, it was done. I don't know if we'll ever talk about yesterday again. I hope we do because that too was a part of Trooper's life. I hope he gets over the feeling that I betrayed both of them. In my heart I know Trooper was waiting to go. I think Reg was waiting to just find him gone one morning. He didn't want the responsibility of making the decision. 

Val, I want to thank you especially. You have always been right there to jump in and talk with me. 

Everybody else, thank you.

I'm here more than I post. I usually feel as though I don't have anything to offer. Especially since we got out of our rescue. 

Take care everybody.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

Bon, just because you aren't involved with rescue doesn't mean that you aren't a valuable board member. You have lots of experience, knowledge and at times when needed just a support person that can be helpful to someone else. So post more. I am not involved with rescue and I am here I am sure some think I am helpful and others well ????? But you have been part of the family for a long time and I have missed having you post.

I hope Reg can understand he didn't retray Trooper, he was a great dad who helped release Trooper from his pain. Shame Shame Shame on the vet for putting that much pressure on Reg, I am sure the Vet's thought was Money Money Money, not the quality of life for our noble dogs.

Now give Reg a little time to heal and then I think you will eventually be able to share the good times you guys had with Trooper. I am glad Reg opened up to you, I would really have hated to see him keep that all in and foster bad feelings against you.

Val


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## SuzyE (Apr 22, 2005)

your vet is an absolute idiot if you want to pm me the address i will write him or her a letter. i am sick for you. i have met a lot of bad vets and thank god i found a good one. i am so sad for you. many people keep their dogs alive too long. my dog is dying of cancer and i will not be one of those people. yes it hurts but we can't let them suffer. your husband will come around and i hope he hasn't damaged the relationship too much by then.
i am furious with your vet. as a pet loss therapist i see guilt consume people and to add insult to injury is the most unprofessional thing you can do as a vet. 
i hate to break it to your husband but dogs normally do not outlive the owner. they are ALL going to die even the legendary paige. please pm me if you need help and i will glady write your vet a scathing letter.


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