# getting everyone to participate!



## tibvixie101 (Nov 26, 2007)

ok so ive been trying to do more NILIF things with Mya, and my boyfriend who is generally good with the dogs training wise, doesnt seem to be understanding hes screwing up what im doing with her!!

Ive been working on her sit-stay so i can go through the door first. when i open my bedroom door she usually makes a B-Line straight out and would knock me out of her way to do it. So i began putting her in a sit-stay and when i open the door i give a watch me command, and once im through the door i give an OK command and she is allowed out. this is the same for going outside the front door. i open it and make her wait before releasing her to go outside. 

Brett (my boyfriend) only does it once in a while, and it is starting to make me angry because im trying so hard to make things better and it seems his lazyness when he gets home from work is whats going to make it not work. and he wonders why she listens to me and not him. he will tell her something and she kinda looks around first (totally telling him she'll do it when shes good and ready) but if i tell her to sit he butt hits the floor with a thud! 

So what im asking basically is what can i say to brett to make him understand this is important to ME and our dogs! i know he is tired when he gets home from work and he just wants to relax but is it to much to ask him to waste 1 minute to make her sit before opening the door? its actually caused small arguements between us, because i want him to contribute and not undermind what im trying to do with our dogs... please help!


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## KJandBravo (Mar 5, 2007)

Are you the alpha, doing most of the dog care? If so, I wouldn't worry about it. My SO is the same way, but it doesn't affect how the dog sees _me_. I demand door zen, and I get it!









If you're not the alpha, you should be. Trade chores with Brett.









Bravo has been disrespectful to my SO on occasion. Once or twice, he's jumped on SO's side of the bed and didn't want to move, and he begs when SO is eating. But IMO, it has to be SO's decision to deal with that. If it bothers him, he can start doing the same things I do. If he decides he doesn't mind begging and door-dodging, so be it: so far, it isn't having any negative effect on how I'm working with the dog.

I know it's said that "everyone has to participate", and I think that's critical with children, but I think you'd be better off waiting for him to become interested on his own than nagging. Nagging just increases the tension and resentment. Just continue working on your own, and he's likely to notice how much easier of a time you're managing the dog than him, and he'll probably jump on board.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I have the same problem. I also saw this problem a LOT when I was treaching some classes, I always told my students, I am good with training dogs, just don't ask me to train you spouse/BF/signficant other.

My dogs see my hubby as the fun play guy. Right now he is layed off so he is around a lot more. The dogs will be all nice, calm and content when he is gone, as soon as he walks into the house they start bing PIA. Why because the Alpha female know if she starts being a PIA, dad will take her outside, put he in one of the dog pens so she can bark at birds and cats. GGGRRRR. My Alpha female pulls like crazy when he is at the end of the leash, right now she is still being good with me, when she starts to slip too much I will be using the prong collar as a little reminder on who is handling the leash.

Once he goes back to work, all of my dogs will be back to normal. I don't push any issue as long as my dogs still listen to me and remember who is the Alpha in the pack. If they start to slide too much then I just take some of the care out of hubby's hands and back into mine.

Val


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## tibvixie101 (Nov 26, 2007)

yea my dogs see brett as a huge playtoy as well. we walks in and gets them all excited and worked up and its like chaos for 10 minutes until he gets his coat off and relaxes. Im just going to continue to work with mya and the rest of the bunch and tell him that if he wants to learn that i can show him, but if not im going to do it anyway because i want to make sure I am seen as the Leader in my pack. thanks for the advice!


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## pamlarouge (Dec 17, 2008)

I know these posts are a year old but I really appreciate your situation! I live with 5 other people, and only me and my 14-year-old sister-in-law actually care enough about my dog's discipline to follow through with it!!! It's SO frustrating-I feel like GSD's are particularly sensitive to a lack of consistency, and it's really easy for someone to undo all of the hard work you've done with your dog after 5 minutes. I can spend all day with Sammy and he'll be so good, but the minute my sister-in-law, mother-in-law, etc. gets home they get him all riled up and then they don't do anything if he bites, barks, begs for food, etc. It's like is it SO hard to pick him up and put him in the time-out room? He's only 5 months old, he's not that big, and if he tries to bite you, throw a blanket over him or something for goodness sakes. GAH! *sigh* Ok, I feel better now.


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## JulieAG (Nov 9, 2008)

UGH I totally know how this is... my boyfriend is constantly getting Hummer riled up. he'll pin him down, smack at his mouth just playing/rough housing with him sometimes, but then gets pissed off when he comes down stairs in the morning and Hummer runs over to him, jumps up and tries to bite his hands. I am the one working on his obedience, and is always implenting NILF, and Hummer respects me - for the most part. But my boyfriend only does this sometimes and Hummer just sees him as a big playtoy. I try to explain this, and my boyfriend get all offended and tries to make me sound like I'm the 'know it all dog person that treats him like he's clueless'. I'm just afraid Hummer's lack of respect toward him is going to carry over in his attitude towards me... and when he gets older. It is so frustrating... and any time I try to politely say anything to him, he just won't hear it. UGH. Ok... felt good to vent! Thanks!


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## Caledon (Nov 10, 2008)

This sounds like my husband. He hasn't read one book, been to one obedience class, or listens to me when I tell him what I have learnedd. Yes, according to my husband I'm the "know it all dog person", but he knows better.

I've given up on him (husband not puppy). He refuses to:

- say a command only when you can enforce it (example put her in a sit stay and went out the front door and returned 10 minutes later)
- say a command only once It's sit, not sit, sit , SIT DOWN
- issue a command without her being taught first - example heel
- use her name only in a positive way. He will yell her name if she nips at his hand (when he didn't encourage it first).
-encourages her to nip by playing "pull the hand away from her mouth while she tries to grab it" . Great fun while watching TV.
- chace her when she has grabbed an object (like a mit or slipper), or a ball expecially when I'm working on the drop it command and trying to get her to bring me the ball
-allows her to jump on him -now that she is 5 1/2 months and weighs 54lbs this one is cute anymore and he is trying to undo the last three months of allowing her to jump on him.
- be consistance with commands it's Dakota, come, not come here, get over here, come see me, etc.

I really admire couples who are on the same page with dog training. In puppy class I was the only one who went by myself, others had their spouce/partner attend. I knew he wouldn't be committed to dog training as I am, but I thought at the very least he wouldn't be this bad.


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