# How long did you wait before getting another dog?



## marwin (Jan 6, 2015)

So it's been a few weeks and I can still barely bring myself to write this, but our beloved German shepherd Shadow is no longer with us. She was only 3 years and 3 months old and she had so much more life to live and love to give. In her last few months she became reluctant to go for walks and then one day she couldn't get up. I won't go into detail but the vets concluded that she had spinal stenosis. The vet prescribed strict rest and pain relief but warned us that she would likely need surgery. A few weeks later Shadow was becoming depressed and acting out due to boredom. Her mobility was getting worse and worse despite doubling up on the pain relief. Surgery, if successful, would require even more confined rest. Mentally, this was not the sort of dog that could handle that. Besides it was going to cost us 5 times what the insurance would cover and it felt reckless to borrow money when surgery was not necessarily going to work, cause her even more stress from being confined and at the very best result in a dog who could not run about and have the life she was used to and needed for her mental health. We could have waited another few days, weeks maybe months i don't know, but she was not happy and we didn't want her to suffer through degenerating completely. So we tripled up the painkillers and gave her a few last good days as if everything was back to normal and then we took her to the vet. 

We were completely unprepared for how hard it would be to carry through with it, let alone life without her. My husband has convinced himself that she would have gotten better and that we did the wrong thing. There is the overwhelming grief from not having her around anymore and all the future memories we feel robbed of. But also the guilt and doubt about whether we did the right thing or not. The guilt is especially eating my husband up as he had to restrain her when the vet gave the first sedative because she realised something was very wrong. She has left an enormous vacuum in our lives. The house is so quiet and suddenly we even find it spooky living out in the middle of the forest. I have no idea how to process this level of grief. The only thing that helps is distraction. With every happy moment we gain confidence that things will be OK again one day. 

So to finally get to my heading question, when should you get a new dog? We are thinking that the distraction of a new puppy would do us good and that it would be a nice way to keep Shadow's spirit alive. But we have not fully processed our loss so I'm worried that it is too soon. Would love to hear from anyone who has experienced a loss and got a new dog, how long did you wait and how was it for you?


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

It is so hard to lose dog, but especially a young one. Whenever you are ready for another one. Just be careful not to get the first pup out of impulse but select wisely like you normally would. A pup, and even the journey to find a good one, can be very healing and this puppy will not make the memory of you beloved dog go away but rather continue the legacy of these magnificent dogs. Heal well.
PS: please don't second-guess the decision to say goodbye to your dog. We all make the best decisions at that very moment.


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## Joys (Nov 6, 2017)

When my lab died at 17, I waited two years. I didn’t want another lab because I was afraid it would remind me of Brandy. 

I had two GSDs growing up so I THOUGHT I was familiar with the breed. Lord knows those dogs were nothing like this one!!


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

Life circumstances aided a little in my decisions, but for one, I should note that I’ve always had multiple dogs and the remaining pups assisted in my mourning.

When I lost my 17yr old family dog that had come to live with me, Tilden was adopted just 2 weeks later.

When I lost Gia I was dating a guy with a GSD that helped fill the void and keep Tilden company. When they moved to another state, I got Keystone about 3 months later but it was close to a year after losing Gia.

If Tilden were to pass now, I’d likely be a single dog household for awhile and start over with a fresh slate after both boys are gone. That’s just a hunch tho.


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

For me it was quickly, we lost 2 dogs in 6 weeks. The house was just too empty and none of us could bear it. Maybe even researching and focusing on your next love will help you through this time. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Arathorn II (Oct 7, 2017)

We adopted a 5 year old Australian Shepherd a fews months after Maverick died, but as you can see in my signature we just recently got a new GSD - going on 10 months now.

Here's a video from Friday morning....

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10214281991505534&id=1288403413


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## Arathorn II (Oct 7, 2017)

Hit enter to soon....

I'm also very sorry to hear about Shadow. Praying for God's comfort for you and your husband. A quiet house is just an awful experience when the only kids you have ever had are the 4 legged furry ones that bark....

We waited about 3.5 months before we got Piper, but I think I mourned Mavericks death for about a year - although I still miss him and the dogs I had before him including a Shepherd/Huskie mix I had as a boy.

I'd say take some time to heal and don't rush out to replace Shadow right away.


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## sebrench (Dec 2, 2014)

I still miss dogs I have lost and think about them often. My current dogs are still young, but they are only a year or two apart. I feel sad thinking i may lose them around the same time. Please don’t second guess your decision with your dog. She was suffering and you gave her the best kindness you could. Only you will know when the time is right for a new puppy. I don’t like to be without a dog, so I probably wouldn’t wait too long myself. Others prefer longer to grieve. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, just whatever helps you to heal.


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## NerdicEclipse (Feb 20, 2017)

For me it's always fast. It hurts to lose a dog. The only thing that hurts worse (for me) is losing an immediate family member. I mean, mother, father sibling or child. Even extended family doesn't hurt as much. That said, every moment without a dog feels like a hole for me. There's so much love between a dog and it's owner/family. I prefer to find another dog to love as quickly as I can find a good match. I never rush it but I also don't purposefully wait. Nothing fills the hole entirely because every dog is unique and our relationships are special in their own ways. But there's only so much time in life and I want it filled with as much love as possible.I remember every single dog I've had in my life and I've loved them all just as much, but in different ways. You never replace them, you just find more love to give and receive and we always carry our past dogs with us.

Just never go on impulse. Whether you feel it's time soon or it takes a few years, finding the right dog to love is more important than just getting one. You'll know it's the right time and the right dog because there won't be a question and you won't feel bad or guilty. You'll feel right. It's different for everyone and no matter where you fall on things never feel bad about it.

Edit: And as others have said, never question your choices when it comes to their final days. All you can do is give them your love, care for them as much as you can and keep their quality of life as high as possible until they just don't enjoy it anymore. You're not doing them a disservice by letting them go. You gave the greatest kindness you could. And they always know, they always know we love them. And they generally will tell you when they're ready to go. Never question it when you make that choice for them. You're filling their last days with love and joy, and you're letting them rest peacefully when it's time to let them go. We should all be so lucky to feel that kind of love and have that type of peace at the end.


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## Misha111 (Oct 31, 2016)

As others have said , do not second guess the decision you made. It is so very hard to lose a dog, let alone being the one that decides when they should pass. I have always taken great comfort in the quote 
" It is better a day too soon, than a day too late"

I have always got another dog quite quickly because to me, my home isn't complete without one. But that doesn't mean I have ever forgotten my girls that have gone before.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

I cannot speak for anyone but ourselves. When the little dog who was going to be my "last dog" passed away, the next week we started contacting rescue groups and looking at breeders. It is not to replace our lost dog but because we love our dogs so much that it becomes a tribute to all the dogs we had before. Just be careful of your choice of new dog. It is easy to put all the hopes and good memories of our past dogs onto the shoulders of our new dog. Each dog deserves and eventually gets, their own unique place in our hearts.

Oh, and when I did let my little "last dog" to sleep, I also second guessed myself. I know for certain that we did the right thing but it still happens. It is natural. But you can't go back to the vet and say, "I've changed my mind". It was very hard.


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## JeffM (Dec 19, 2005)

I would say it depends on the person. If you want and can handle another dog, then do what you believe is best.

My two boys are going to be 13 in a few months and both are coming close to their end; I'm pretty sure they will not see 2019. As the wife and I get closer to retire (6-7 yrs), I do not want to get another dog until after retirement. We love our boys but because they cannot be left alone or brought to outings anymore it really restricts us.


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## IllinoisNative (Feb 2, 2010)

I've very sorry to hear about Shadow. I've been through that twice. It sucks.

When my Golden died, I waited three days. Yes, three days. She died on Super Bowl Sunday and I was HYSTERICAL. I took Monday off work because I couldn't stop crying. On Tuesday, I went to work and they sent me home. They said I wasn't ready to be back...lol. So I left work that Tuesday afternoon and said, "I'm getting a dog." I just couldn't return to an empty, dogless house. I knew I wanted a German Shepherd but I knew I wanted to rescue. I called the local rescue and they said they had two litters of German Shepherd mix puppies. I left work at noon and they opened at 1 pm. I looked at both litters (GSD/Border Collie mixes and GSD/Rottie mixes). I chose one of two brothers left of the German Shepherd/Rottie mixes. He was $85 and the best decision I ever made. Yes, it was impulsive and I normally don't recommend doing something like that. However, he ended up being my heart dog. You know how some dogs are just born good? He was good off leash, he was good with dogs/cats/kids, he wasn't a chewer. You could take him on the boat, swimming, hiking, whatever. I miss him to this day. He had a seizure right before his tenth birthday.

After he died (I got another dog in between), I didn't get my current German Shepherd until five years later. Mostly because I had my Chow mix at the time. I had time to research and plan. I just can't live in a dogless house. So I got this puppy when my older dog was 11. That way I won't make another impulsive decision. It may not work out as well a second time.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

It is normal to play If Only. I would let it go. Not all lives on this Earth are long. You did the right thing to put her out of her misery. She was 'upset' because a stranger came and stuck her with a needle, not because "she sensed something was wrong." Dogs do not think like that. She could not live, she floated away on a cloud of morphine (like) poppies.

My advice is to honor her, you gave her a good (short) life and get another puppy. It does not replace her, none can do that. But it makes you realize that life goes on and the laughter will help you forget your grief. Go for it!


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## marwin (Jan 6, 2015)

I just wanted to thank you all for your advice and support. It has really been a huge help to be able to turn to this forum! It has been 6 weeks and 5 days since we said goodbye to our beloved Shadow. Her absence still feels like a giant tumour in my heart, but I have learned to deal by distracting myself with all the other wonderful things in my life. On Christmas day we took the leap and brought our new family member, Lux, home. It's both heart breaking and heart warming when he reminds me of Shadow. As most of you will know, puppies are hard work! Especially as we also have an 11 month old baby in the house. But it's going really well! It looks like we have gotten lucky and picked a puppy with nerves of steel, he doesn't care about baby toys being smashed about or baby prodding his nose and pulling his tail, although obviously I'm teaching her not to bug the dog. I'm so happy we took the plunge, largely thanks to support from this forum!


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## Armistice (Oct 12, 2017)

My wife's family had a border collie they had to put down due to a large tumor in her nose. She was about 8yo. They waited almost a year before getting their now 5yo border collie


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## RZZNSTR (Jan 24, 2015)

I lost my last GSD in June 2003. I didn't get my next one until December 2015. Yes, it was that much of a loss for me!


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## RuthArt (Oct 25, 2017)

congratulations on the added member, how very special that the two will grow with each other.

it's been 4 months since Wiena passed....I have grieved a lot, but it's not hurting quite as much now.
I even expressed to my husband that I am not the same person he has known all these years because
now I have no dog. I miss the closeness of having a dog. Just not sure at my age (72) and the insane
cats I have, that we will get another. Still waiting for the right sign. I still look at dogs on
Coastal German Shepherd Rescue and I hope to participate in some activities with them to
see if I can handle being around shepherds without having to have one. We'll see.

I'm so glad to hear you are filling your life with dog and child...many happy years to you all.


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## Armistice (Oct 12, 2017)

RuthArt said:


> Just not sure at my age (72)... that we will get another.


My in-laws are on their last 2 dogs and will not get anymore after that, so I understand


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## marwin (Jan 6, 2015)

RuthArt said:


> congratulations on the added member, how very special that the two will grow with each other.
> 
> it's been 4 months since Wiena passed....I have grieved a lot, but it's not hurting quite as much now.
> I even expressed to my husband that I am not the same person he has known all these years because
> ...


That must be so difficult... What about going for a different breed? A gsd is maybe a bit much when you get older but there are plenty of other lovely breeds that aren't quite as demanding and hazardous. I've also noticed a trend in sharing ownership of a dog, maybe something to look into? Life is not the same without the spirit of a dog in the house... Good luck!


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