# Does she like us?



## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

We got our little girl at 6 weeks and she’s never been very affectionate - not excited to see the family (there are 4 of us), not when we come home from school or work, or in the morning - she just sort of opens an eye to see who’s there.. Yes, before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc., and she just didn’t seem interested. We accepted that maybe that was her personality and after reading so many posts about aloof GSD’s figured that was the case. However, when friends and neighbors come over she is excited, licks them to death (we don’t get licks), jumps in their lap, wants to be pet, etc., The exact opposite. She’s been in socialization and training since we got her and she’s an angel. Never aggressive or mean to anyone - never snaps or growls. Just perfect, except for the affection. It’s a very clear distinction of how she’s “aloof” with the people that live here and affectionate and attentive to strangers. Just trying to see if anyone has had the same experience. Will it change? Thanks and sorry for the long post.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

We got our little girl at 6 weeks and she’s 7 months now. She’s never been very affectionate - not excited to see the family (there are 4 of us), not in the morning, not when we come home from school or work - she just sort of opens an eye to see who’s coming in.. Yes, before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc., and she just didn’t seem interested. We accepted that maybe that was her personality and after reading so many posts about aloof GSD’s figured that was the case. However, when friends and neighbors come over she is excited, licks them to death (we don’t get licks), jumps in their lap, wants to be pet, etc., The exact opposite. She’s been in socialization and training since we got her and she’s an angel. Never aggressive or mean to anyone - never snaps or growls. Just perfect, except for the affection. It’s a very clear distinction of how she’s “aloof” with the people that live here and affectionate and attentive to strangers. Just trying to see if anyone has had the same experience. Will it change? Thanks and sorry for the long post.


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## clipke (Nov 14, 2017)

Scotibs said:


> We got our little girl at 6 weeks and she’s 7 months now. She’s never been very affectionate - not excited to see the family (there are 4 of us), not in the morning, not when we come home from school or work - she just sort of opens an eye to see who’s coming in.. Yes, before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc., and she just didn’t seem interested. We accepted that maybe that was her personality and after reading so many posts about aloof GSD’s figured that was the case. However, when friends and neighbors come over she is excited, licks them to death (we don’t get licks), jumps in their lap, wants to be pet, etc., The exact opposite. She’s been in socialization and training since we got her and she’s an angel. Never aggressive or mean to anyone - never snaps or growls. Just perfect, except for the affection. It’s a very clear distinction of how she’s “aloof” with the people that live here and affectionate and attentive to strangers. Just trying to see if anyone has had the same experience. Will it change? Thanks and sorry for the long post.


In my experience, most working breeds show affection differently. They have desire to work and please you, but won't be super physically affectionate. I have a Rottie mix who I got very young, from a backyard breeder just trying to get rid of him so he saw me as his Dad/Mom and has always been super clingy and affectionate, meanwhile my GSD doesn't like to be touched much unless it's on his terms. He wants to please me, not sit in my lap.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

clipke said:


> Scotibs said:
> 
> 
> > We got our little girl at 6 weeks and she’s 7 months now. She’s never been very affectionate - not excited to see the family (there are 4 of us), not in the morning, not when we come home from school or work - she just sort of opens an eye to see who’s coming in.. Yes, before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc., and she just didn’t seem interested. We accepted that maybe that was her personality and after reading so many posts about aloof GSD’s figured that was the case. However, when friends and neighbors come over she is excited, licks them to death (we don’t get licks), jumps in their lap, wants to be pet, etc., The exact opposite. She’s been in socialization and training since we got her and she’s an angel. Never aggressive or mean to anyone - never snaps or growls. Just perfect, except for the affection. It’s a very clear distinction of how she’s “aloof” with the people that live here and affectionate and attentive to strangers. Just trying to see if anyone has had the same experience. Will it change? Thanks and sorry for the long post.
> ...


I understand, but she’s super affectionate - licking, petting requests, on lap- with everyone except her family. That’s the puzzle.


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## clipke (Nov 14, 2017)

Scotibs said:


> We got our little girl at 6 weeks and she’s 7 months now. She’s never been very affectionate - not excited to see the family (there are 4 of us), not in the morning, not when we come home from school or work - she just sort of opens an eye to see who’s coming in.. Yes, before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc., and she just didn’t seem interested. We accepted that maybe that was her personality and after reading so many posts about aloof GSD’s figured that was the case. However, when friends and neighbors come over she is excited, licks them to death (we don’t get licks), jumps in their lap, wants to be pet, etc., The exact opposite. She’s been in socialization and training since we got her and she’s an angel. Never aggressive or mean to anyone - never snaps or growls. Just perfect, except for the affection. It’s a very clear distinction of how she’s “aloof” with the people that live here and affectionate and attentive to strangers. Just trying to see if anyone has had the same experience. Will it change? Thanks and sorry for the long post.





Scotibs said:


> I understand, but she’s super affectionate - licking, petting requests, on lap- with everyone except her family. That’s the puzzle.


Could just be excitement. New people are fun!


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

clipke said:


> Could just be excitement. New people are fun!


Thought of that. But it’s not like she sometimes shows us affection. This dog has NEVER greeted us at the door, never showered us with kisses, never sits with us. But ALWAYS sits with visitors and showers them with kisses. I’ve had at least a dozen dogs and I know they get excited when people visit, but they’ve always been excited to see me. This one doesn’t seem to care - even when I come home from being away for a week or more...


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## konathegsd (Dec 3, 2016)

Yeah that is definitely odd... do you train your dog frequently? My gsd is not affectionate at all but if I leave to go get the mail for 5 minutes she acts like I haven’t seen her for a month.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Scotibs said:


> * we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, *etc., and she just didn’t seem interested.


Why would she? You interact, play, hug and kiss her constantly. Does she ever get down time? 

Ignore her for a couple of days. I bet you see a different reaction when you grab a ball and ask if she wants to play.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Have you ever owned a dog before her? What kinds? Did you personally work with a trainer on training, or was this a board and train where only the trainer worked with her without you present? What kinds of things do you do with her while playing from 6 PM until bedtime? How does she like that? What's her favorite game?


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## konathegsd (Dec 3, 2016)

She should have never left her litter at 6 weeks first of all.


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## Nigel (Jul 10, 2012)

Sounds like you may be giving attention too freely and now it has little value. Like Jax said, ignore her some and it'll change. What's a typical day like for her? Does anyone engage her in play or training?


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

konathegsd said:


> Yeah that is definitely odd... do you train your dog frequently? My gsd is not affectionate at all but if I leave to go get the mail for 5 minutes she acts like I haven’t seen her for a month.


We had an in-home trainer for the first 2 months and then daycare training about 1 week a month - drop off around 10am and pickup around 5.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> Have you ever owned a dog before her? What kinds? Did you personally work with a trainer on training, or was this a board and train where only the trainer worked with her without you present? What kinds of things do you do with her while playing from 6 PM until bedtime? How does she like that? What's her favorite game?


I had a GSD growing up and about a dozen after that. I have 3 friends with GSD’s and they’re affectionate and attentive. We had in-home training for the first couple of months and now about 2 or 3 days a week we’ll do daycare training - drop off in the morning and pickup in the afternoon. Only positive reinforcement training - no ecollars or anything like that. We either play frisbee catch and return or with a ball outside and inside with a variety of toys tug and catch. She loves to play. When I come home she’ll pick up her rope toy and and come up to me or if I’m doing something else she’ll come up behind me with it and nudge to get my attention. She actually responds to her name when playing, so I know it’s a choice when she doesn’t.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nigel said:


> Sounds like you may be giving attention too freely and now it has little value. Like Jax said, ignore her some and it'll change. What's a typical day like for her? Does anyone engage her in play or training?


We actually have another dog - a little shih tzu. We had 2 and one passed and I wanted a GSD because my childhood GSD was so great. Anyway, when I’m at work my wife of kids play with her. If not, she goes to day training and socialization a couple days a week- drop off in the morning and pick up in the afternoon. She loves it. The first 2 months of training were in our house with us. We all practice training during the day and go on long walks. The neighborhood loves her.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nigel said:


> Sounds like you may be giving attention too freely and now it has little value. Like Jax said, ignore her some and it'll change. What's a typical day like for her? Does anyone engage her in play or training?


I don’t know, every dog I’ve had usually craves attention, and I’ve had plenty including GSD.. I have 3 friends with GSD’s and their dogs are a bit more affectionate. I’ve seen other threads where people say their dog became more affectionate later on. Which would be fine if she wasn’t affectionate with anyone but she’s affectionate with everyone except us....


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

konathegsd said:


> She should have never left her litter at 6 weeks first of all.


Sorry, 8 weeks.... Do you have anything constructive to offer?


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Scotibs said:


> We got our little girl at 6 weeks and she’s 7 months now. She’s never been very affectionate - not excited to see the family (there are 4 of us), not in the morning, not when we come home from school or work - she just sort of opens an eye to see who’s coming in.. Yes, before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc., and she just didn’t seem interested. We accepted that maybe that was her personality and after reading so many posts about aloof GSD’s figured that was the case. However, when friends and neighbors come over she is excited, licks them to death (we don’t get licks), jumps in their lap, wants to be pet, etc., The exact opposite. She’s been in socialization and training since we got her and she’s an angel. Never aggressive or mean to anyone - never snaps or growls. Just perfect, except for the affection. It’s a very clear distinction of how she’s “aloof” with the people that live here and affectionate and attentive to strangers. Just trying to see if anyone has had the same experience. Will it change? Thanks and sorry for the long post.


We got her at 8 weeks, not 6...


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## Rubyjane77 (May 27, 2018)

Just a thought. Did you train your dog on obedience? Perhaps you and your family overdid it and your dog went overly obedient with you. GSD are working breed and might have thought and with you and your family it’s “work time” and with others people it’s “down time”


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Rubyjane77 said:


> Just a thought. Did you train your dog on obedience? Perhaps you and your family overdid it and your dog went overly obedient with you. GSD are working breed and might have thought and with you and your family it’s “work time” and with others people it’s “down time”


No because she’s always been like this with us. That’s why, at first, we accepted it as her temperament until she was warm and fuzzy with friends. Even during training when we were teaching her not to jump on people they told us what to do when she got excited and jumped on us, BUT she never gets excited or jumps on us. So we have to count on when friends come over and help us train for that.


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## Rubyjane77 (May 27, 2018)

Scotibs said:


> No because she’s always been like this with us. That’s why, at first, we accepted it as her temperament until she was warm and fuzzy with friends. Even during training when we were teaching her not to jump on people they told us what to do when she got excited and jumped on us, BUT she never gets excited or jumps on us. So we have to count on when friends come over and help us train for that.


It is indeed strange. All I know that sometimes dogs pick whom they get excited for and it’s not necessarily their primary caregiver. 

My sister has a beagle, and in the past he showed her only minimal affection (pays attention and is affectionate only when treats are involved). But she clearly loves that dog and he gets excited with everyone else. 

What We did was to lend her my dog (larger, older, and extremely well behaved dog) for a couple of weeks. Seeing that he has competition and my sister giving my dog attention and the other dog being affectionate. He started to do the same for her.

Perhaps Previous advises are correct. She’s taking your attention for granted. If ignoring her doesn’t work maybe borrow a gentle Labrador and see if she’d change her ways if given the presence of another dog. 

However, not knowing your dog, best take extra caution and assess her well. You have to be sure she’s not aggressive as I wouldn’t want the other dog to get hurt. With my sister’s dog it was easier as I know beagles are a non aggressive breed - and I know she’d take good care of my dog.


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## Kairo's Dad (Jul 4, 2018)

We have a 7 month old also, who has never been overly affectionate as far as giving kisses or craving affection like petting or rubbing. I usually get an abrupt stop on the way to the door in the mornings when he first wakes up and leaves his crate, and he'll look at me as if to say, "ok I need you to pet me now and rub my ears so I can start my day", but that's pretty much the extent of him "craving" affection for the rest of the day. However, he wants to be with me or in eyesight of me 24/7, and he craves interaction rather than affection, and I am ok with that. Some dogs are just not affectionate. I know, not much help with your situation, as it really is strange behavior that your girl doesn't seem to be interested in your comings and goings, but let a friend come over, and she is a different dog. I would just continue to try and be as "interesting and fun" to your girl as you can and interact as much as possible. Maybe the behavior changes as she gets older, but even if it doesn't, I'm sure you and your family won't love her any less. To your point, it might just be part of her quirky personality.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

We actually have a 10 year old shih tzu. We had 2 and when one passed we got the GSD. My GSD is completely subservient to the little dog and she’s great around other dogs (all that socialization and training I guess). The little one is the boss and it’s funny to watch this 8 lb little thing boss around the 70 pound puppy (yes, 7 months and 70 pounds). Anyway, the little dog is very affectionate runs over for hugs and petting, greets us when we come home with tail wagging and jumping. The GSD doesn’t get up and sort of just watches. We make sure to pay attention and greet both dogs still. I guess the GSD does take us for granted? I don’t know what else. I’ve read other places that a lot of GSD’s are nearby dogs and not lap dogs. Again, fine if she didn’t show so much affection to others.. She does follow us from room to room but doesn’t want any direct attention. Maybe as she gets older...


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Sounds about the same. Sometimes when we let her out of the crate in the morning she, we might get a good morning lick, sometimes she just stays there until she’s ready to come out. She always follows us from room to room and always wants to be nearby. And all this would fine if she didn’t turn into that affectionate dog when friends came over. I guess it’s better than some of the other threads I see where their dogs are attacking and being aggressive to other people... We’ll see as she gets older.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Doesn't come out of crate until shes ready- you mean a 7 month old puppy just lies there? Has she been examined by a vet?


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## Rubyjane77 (May 27, 2018)

Definitely not a lap dog. And if she wasn’t affectionate with your visitors I would think the aloofness is normal for their breed. 

My GSD also follows me around and he does greet me when I get home but a little differently than what i’m Used to. He would just calmly trot over and sit in front of me then follow me inside. No excited barks or running about. But with my boyfriend he runs and jump, but it’s because he lets him do it. They want to run and roll around. However it’s clear he views me as his master as he always greets me first and comes to my side immediately when I call. But with new people at home he is extremely aloof, he goes to my side and just quietly watches them. (But strangely - his demeanor becomes extremely friendly when I take him outside for walks) 

Maybe just dismiss this as the individual personality of your dog. They just act the way they do.

I’m pretty sure Fantom likes me as he prefer to lay by my feet over my BF and asks for his belly rubs from me, but he prefers to act more aloof and dignified with me.


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## Kairo's Dad (Jul 4, 2018)

Scotibs said:


> We actually have a 10 year old shih tzu. We had 2 and when one passed we got the GSD. My GSD is completely subservient to the little dog and she’s great around other dogs (all that socialization and training I guess). The little one is the boss and it’s funny to watch this 8 lb little thing boss around the 70 pound puppy (yes, 7 months and 70 pounds). Anyway, the little dog is very affectionate runs over for hugs and petting, greets us when we come home with tail wagging and jumping. The GSD doesn’t get up and sort of just watches. We make sure to pay attention and greet both dogs still. I guess the GSD does take us for granted? I don’t know what else. I’ve read other places that a lot of GSD’s are nearby dogs and not lap dogs. Again, fine if she didn’t show so much affection to others.. She does follow us from room to room but doesn’t want any direct attention. Maybe as she gets older...


OMG, we have so many similarities. Not only is Kairo 7 months old, but we also have a 10 year old little dog (Bichon/Poodle), who is the boss. Kairo weighed 72 lbs at last weeks vet visit, and we have to keep them separated most of the time, not because they fight, but because Kairo wants to play all the time, and the little one (Sugar) got hurt a couple of months ago while they were horsing around (sprained her tail), so now she can only take Kairo in short bursts lol. Sugar is very affectionate, we call her the alcoholic because she can't hold her "licker" and much like you, I was used to the affection that Sugar showed and craved, and Kairo is nothing like that, which took a little getting used to. Maybe you should be careful what you wish for though, because it sounds like your pup is well behaved at least, just not affectionate towards you as you would like. Sounds much better than having one that is affectionate to you, but is mean or bites strangers, huh?


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Not sure what a "trainer" would do with a young puppy in the first 2 months you've had it...

For me the first 2 months was about potty training, getting to know each other, and bonding. There was some "light" training going on too, but mostly that time was about just learning each other and playing and exploring together.

Doggy daycare is not training, nor is it socialization! And in this situation is likely contributing to your pup's lack of engagement with you. I'd stop that if it were me having this issue. I'd also temporarily stop her interaction with people outside of the family. 

That being said, my take on this is that your puppy is responding to its environment, and I'm with @jax in that it sounds like you're overdoing the affection to the point that you've actually taught your puppy to avoid you! That sounds harsh, but I'm not trying to be mean! Very few puppies of any breed like hugs and kisses. Some tolerate it better than others, but few actually like it.

To turn things around I'd try ignoring her, like @jax suggested, for a few days. I'd also put away all toys, both inside and out, and only bring one out when you decide it's time to play. When play time is over put the toy away again. When your puppy does engage you, give her a stroke or two and go about your business, no hugging or kissing or animated excitement. 

I'd also have the rest of the family stop any and all "training" for now. Dogs, and especially puppies, can get confused and shut down when faced with multiple trainers who use differing techniques. Let the puppy work only with you for now, and be consistent and spend some time training everyday - like 15-20 minutes to start. And because your dog is sort of "aloof" with you, dial way back on any affection you're inclined to show the dog while training, use only your voice for praise when she gets something right and give her a treat! I like to use hot dog slices, but you can and should use whatever your dog is willing to work for. My dog is a food hound, and will work hard for any food item! 

Anyway, I think if you try these things you'll see a change for the better! Good luck, and let us know how it goes...


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## Chuck94! (Feb 8, 2018)

Yup I agree with the other people that said ignore for a couple of days and re evaluate. I wouldn’t expect my GSD to be a “lap dog” but good lord I absolutely would expect them to show me some affection. Having an obedient dog is great but having an obedient dog that shows no joy towards me and being with me would make me very very sad


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> Not sure what a "trainer" would do with a young puppy in the first 2 months you've had it...
> 
> For me the first 2 months was about potty training, getting to know each other, and bonding. There was some "light" training going on too, but mostly that time was about just learning each other and playing and exploring together.
> 
> ...


Maybe I used the wrong words for “day care” it’s a training center. They spend the day training and working on commands we feel she needs help in, as well as socializing with other dogs, leash aggression, etc.. All seems to be working because a neighbor of mine with the same year Golden asks me how I got my puppy to behave so well on a leash. The first 2 months were basic sit, down, stay, wait, take, off, leave it, etc.. it worked very well. Contrary to what you said, all the trainers that interviewed and used suggested everyone on the family working with the dog for 15 minutes in different environments. She has behaved this way from day one, so I don’t think the training has anything to do with it.

Thanks for your other suggestions and I’m going to try ignoring her or easing off for a while.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Chuck94! said:


> Yup I agree with the other people that said ignore for a couple of days and re evaluate. I wouldn’t expect my GSD to be a “lap dog” but good lord I absolutely would expect them to show me some affection. Having an obedient dog is great but having an obedient dog that shows no joy towards me and being with me would make me very very sad


Yep...


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Rubyjane77 said:


> Just a thought. Did you train your dog on obedience? Perhaps you and your family overdid it and your dog went overly obedient with you. GSD are working breed and might have thought and with you and your family it’s “work time” and with others people it’s “down time”


Mostly sit, stay, down, leave it. The basic stuff. Never had to do obedience like jumping because she’s never jumped on us. She behaved this way since day one. I don’t think it’s the training.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> Doesn't come out of crate until shes ready- you mean a 7 month old puppy just lies there? Has she been examined by a vet?


She’s perfectly healthy. She’s been to the vet PLENTY.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Scotibs said:


> Maybe I used the wrong words for “day care” it’s a training center. They spend the day training and working on commands we feel she needs help in, as well as socializing with other dogs, leash aggression, etc.. All seems to be working because a neighbor of mine with the same year Golden asks me how I got my puppy to behave so well on a leash. The first 2 months were basic sit, down, stay, wait, take, off, leave it, etc.. it worked very well.


Getting outside help with training is good, and often highly recommended, but training is also about learning how to communicate with your dog and bonding with them. So yes, having someone else do this with your dog will teach them the commands, but if you're not personally involved you're missing out on the bonding that occurs with training...




Scotibs said:


> Contrary to what you said, all the trainers that interviewed and used suggested everyone on the family working with the dog for 15 minutes in different environments. She has behaved this way from day one, so I don’t think the training has anything to do with it.


And is that working out? I must admit, I have never even heard of a situation like this before, and I've been around dogs most of my life! But I have to believe from your description of the dog, that the dog is just responding to its environment. You want to see change in the dog's behavior, you need to change its environment. Create a routine that leads the puppy toward engagement with you...or not.


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## Beau's Mom (Nov 9, 2017)

If she’s a very submissive dog, could it be appeasement behavior with strangers, not affection?


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> Getting outside help with training is good, and often highly recommended, but training is also about learning how to communicate with your dog and bonding with them. So yes, having someone else do this with your dog will teach them the commands, but if you're not personally involved you're missing out on the bonding that occurs with training...


For 2 months we did in home with the dog and trainer. Now, the training center may be a day or two a week and then we follow up at home training at least 15 minutes each with her every day. We are very involved. I’m not one of those people who send my dog away for 2 weeks at some boot camp and expect an obedient animal. Quite the opposite. This is our 4th dog and we’ve never experienced this. It might just be her temperament. The environment couldn’t be more comfortable for her. Maybe too comfortable? She is never left alone and is always interacting with us. I don’t think it’s the training or lack of interaction. 

I’m going to try and give her some more space and see how that goes.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Beau's Mom said:


> If she’s a very submissive dog, could it be appeasement behavior with strangers, not affection?


Could be. I would like some of that though! Lol 

She’s a very good dog otherwise. Never aggressive, she’s never growled or snapped at anyone. Not even with food. I see some of these other posts with aggressive dog problems, so I guess this is better....


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## konathegsd (Dec 3, 2016)

Maybe you guys should be more involved in the training, build a bond. Instead of dropping her off to have someone else train the dog.

You say she is never left alone and always interacting with you?....

Well this is likely part of the problem. Give the dog some space as others have said


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

konathegsd said:


> Maybe you guys should be more involved in the training, build a bond. Instead of dropping her off to have someone else train the dog.
> 
> You say she is never left alone and always interacting with you?....
> 
> Well this is likely part of the problem. Give the dog some space as others have said


We have been part of the training didn’t read the entire post? For the first 2 months it was all in home. Now, maybe a day or 2 a week she goes there to learn and interact. We train her everyday. The center is mostly for socializing because it’s done in a group environment. The last thing I wanted was an aggressive GSD. I purposely didn’t send her away for 2 weeks like some people do. She’s with us everyday. She will follow us from room to room and outside to play. She wants to be “around”.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

" before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc.,"

As an experiment, how about the family cutting way back on attention to her? See if she becomes more affectionate. Maybe shes just burnt out and new people are exciting.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> " before the questions, we act excited to see her. There is always someone home with her interacting, playing. Plus I take over after work and play with her from 6pm until bedtime. We hug her, kiss her, etc.,"
> 
> As an experiment, how about the family cutting way back on attention to her? See if she becomes more affectionate. Maybe shes just burnt out and new people are exciting.


Yes, a few people have suggested to back off a little. But this face!


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

I can tell you with absolute certainty that this avoidance and lack of affection is not "just the puppy's temperment!". As others have said GSDs typically like to be around you without a lot of interaction. 



> This is our 4th dog and we’ve never experienced this. It might just be her temperament. The environment couldn’t be more comfortable for her. Maybe too comfortable? She is never left alone and is always interacting with us. I don’t think it’s the training or lack of interaction.


You asked for advice, and people have given you, pretty consistently, the same advice. The training and the constant, and likely from your puppy's perspective overwhelming, interaction ARE the problem! But hey, what you do with that information is ENTIRELY up to you! Good luck, and let us know how things work out!


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> I can tell you with absolute certainty that this avoidance and lack of affection is not "just the puppy's temperment!". As others have said GSDs typically like to be around you without a lot of interaction.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I agree. I already said we would back off for a while and see how it goes. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s not avoidance. She wants to be around. Follows us from room to room. Always wants to be nearby. Comes to me for play and nudges me with her toy. It’s not avoidance. Even in public (controlled environment) if I have her off leash, she follows me... She just seems more affectionate with others than us. We’ll try the backing off a bit approach. Thanks. (That face though!)


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

Scotibs said:


> We have been part of the training didn’t read the entire post? For the first 2 months it was all in home. Now, maybe a day or 2 a week she goes there to learn and interact. We train her everyday. The center is mostly for socializing because it’s done in a group environment. *The last thing I wanted was an aggressive GSD. * I purposely didn’t send her away for 2 weeks like some people do. She’s with us everyday. She will follow us from room to room and outside to play. She wants to be “around”.


First of all, this is a breed that has been genetically bred to possess a modicum of human aggression. It is a part of the breed standard. All the training in the world is not going to change your dog's genetics. So the last thing that you wanted just may be what you get when your dog matures. Right now she is still just a baby and who she is at two years of age or older might be very different.

I have noticed that many GSDs show their affection just by wanting to be with you or near you and often can be very undemonstrative. It can vary with the individual but this is not a breed known to fawn on people despite being noted for being the most loyal.

What fun and adventures do you have with your dog? What do you do that satisfies her drives? What does she look forward to doing with you?


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Back off and let her start wanting you like you want her. Only give attention when she comes to you. She will learn that coming to you brings pleasure to her.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Oh, now I see you have started a whole nuther thread about this. 

I haven't read it all but it impresses me that with all these other trainers and doggy daycares she has never really socialized to your 'pack' and has no good engagement. Its like --ohhh these people again-- ho hum....


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

MineAreWorkingline said:


> First of all, this is a breed that has been genetically bred to possess a modicum of human aggression. It is a part of the breed standard. All the training in the world is not going to change your dog's genetics. So the last thing that you wanted just may be what you get when your dog matures. Right now she is still just a baby and who she is at two years of age or older might be very different.
> 
> I have noticed that many GSDs show their affection just by wanting to be with you or near you and often can be very undemonstrative. It can vary with the individual but this is not a breed known to fawn on people despite being noted for being the most loyal.
> 
> What fun and adventures do you have with your dog? What do you do that satisfies her drives? What does she look forward to doing with you?


Of course I know GSD’s are protective. I’ve had one before. As far as aggression goes, I’m sure you’ve seen posts about leash aggression, dog aggression, etc.. I wanted a dog that was a properly trained GSD. I know I can’t train a GSD to be a poodle.. I know what I have. 

For fun we either play tug with a rope toy, catch, frisbee catch, kick a ball around, I have a flirt pole, 3 acre fenced in yard to play in - we do a lot. She will pick up bee favorite toy and nudge me with it when she wants to play. She shows attentiveness and affection that way. 

It just surprised me when she became a lap dog fawning over friends and family. A totally different side of her comes out with visitors. Again, I’m glad it’s like that other than the other posts I read about overly aggressive dogs that don’t like other people or animals. Good questions, thanks.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

So I read the other thread and THIS is what I'd do. Listen to Tim, he knows what he is talking about 

" Not sure what a "trainer" would do with a young puppy in the first 2 months you've had it...

For me the first 2 months was about potty training, getting to know each other, and bonding. There was some "light" training going on too, but mostly that time was about just learning each other and playing and exploring together.

Doggy daycare is not training, nor is it socialization! And in this situation is likely contributing to your pup's lack of engagement with you. I'd stop that if it were me having this issue. I'd also temporarily stop her interaction with people outside of the family. 

That being said, my take on this is that your puppy is responding to its environment, and I'm with @jax in that it sounds like you're overdoing the affection to the point that you've actually taught your puppy to avoid you! That sounds harsh, but I'm not trying to be mean! Very few puppies of any breed like hugs and kisses. Some tolerate it better than others, but few actually like it.

To turn things around I'd try ignoring her, like @jax suggested, for a few days. I'd also put away all toys, both inside and out, and only bring one out when you decide it's time to play. When play time is over put the toy away again. When your puppy does engage you, give her a stroke or two and go about your business, no hugging or kissing or animated excitement. 

I'd also have the rest of the family stop any and all "training" for now. Dogs, and especially puppies, can get confused and shut down when faced with multiple trainers who use differing techniques. Let the puppy work only with you for now, and be consistent and spend some time training everyday - like 15-20 minutes to start. And because your dog is sort of "aloof" with you, dial way back on any affection you're inclined to show the dog while training, use only your voice for praise when she gets something right and give her a treat! I like to use hot dog slices, but you can and should use whatever your dog is willing to work for. My dog is a food hound, and will work hard for any food item! 

Anyway, I think if you try these things you'll see a change for the better! Good luck, and let us know how it goes..."


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> Oh, now I see you have started a whole nuther thread about this.
> 
> I haven't read it all but it impresses me that with all these other trainers and doggy daycares she has never really socialized to your 'pack' and has no good engagement. Its like --ohhh these people again-- ho hum....


I did both at the same time because I wasn’t sure where to post...

It sort of is like “oh those people again”.. Simettimes when I pick her up from training, I see other people picking up their dogs and the dogs are so excited to see them. Then mine comes out, sees me and makes a u-turn to go back... 

Yes, some of the trainers have said “oh, how strange she hasn’t bonded to anyone in the house. Who feeds and plays with her?” Uh, me....


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

So, again, this doggy daycare is another 'training center'. Other people are training this dog and rewarding this dog that are not you. She gets to work for and please other people not in the family. 

This 'who could not love this face' picture above- I see a dog that looks wary in her eyes. Like a dog that has been loved to death.

I would advise doing what Tim says. Only you train, and don't go over board with the praise, a couple of shoulder strokes and turn away. Leave her wanting more.

Also, your little dominant dog- do you suppose in the pack dynamic the little dog 'owns' your family? its just a thought. I own a miniature stallion. (and also full size Arabian stallion). Dinky constantly bites my good natured stallion. He chases and runs my dairy cow. He would probably kill her calf. He has small man syndrome. I'll bet your shizu has small man syndrome and into this world comes a baby puppy.


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

The day care is training her and bonding with her. She is attached to them over you. Now she is trained, I would stop letting someone else handle her and you and your family should become her only handlers.


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

Nurse Bishop said:


> *Oh, now I see you have started a whole nuther thread about this. *
> 
> I haven't read it all but it impresses me that with all these other trainers and doggy daycares she has never really socialized to your 'pack' and has no good engagement. Its like --ohhh these people again-- ho hum....


I wish I had seen this one first before commenting on the other.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

This going to doggy daycare/training center- in my opinion thats enough of that. She is now socialized to other dogs and people- maybe too socialized to other people. She follows you around and wants to play- this is good and is normal. It seems the dissonance here is about her behavior to other people who come into the home- she is all over them.

This is an undesirable behavior in the opinion of most GSD people. They are not supposed to go be all over your company in your home. Normally, people put their dogs up in kennels or crates when company comes. After all the excitement is over, the GSD is let out and good manners are expected and enforced. For instance, they would be dragging a leash and when a known command is disobeyed, they are given a (gasp) leash correction for willful disobedience. Such an intelligent breed as GSD it does not take much. This is a normal expectation in puppy training. You are going to have to do this training in your home, not some trainer.


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

No need to start identical threads.If it's in a wrong forum someone will move it.
I can't merge this particular one over to the other one but I sent up the Bat Signal.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> This going to doggy daycare/training center- in my opinion thats enough of that. She is now socialized to other dogs and people- maybe too socialized to other people. She follows you around and wants to play- this is good and is normal. It seems the dissonance here is about her behavior to other people who come into the home- she is all over them.
> 
> This is an undesirable behavior in the opinion of most GSD people. They are not supposed to go be all over your company in your home. Normally, people put their dogs up in kennels or crates when company comes. After all the excitement is over, the GSD is let out and good manners are expected and enforced. For instance, they would be dragging a leash and when a known command is disobeyed, they are given a (gasp) leash correction for willful disobedience. Such an intelligent breed as GSD it does not take much. This is a normal expectation in puppy training. You are going to have to do this training in your home, not some trainer.


Most of the training is done by us at home now. 

I’m curious, what do most of you do with your dog when you’re working? Isn’t it better for her to be in training rather than a crate all day, no? She sleeps in her crate at night, but I don’t crate her during the day. These dogs need activity and exercise and it would be wrong to crate or kennel if there’s an alternative. Please let me know. 

Also, the behavior with friends and family isn’t “undesirable”. I’m not talking about jumping. I was talking about affection - licking, sitting in their lap, pet requests, etc. all positive behaviors, not negative. That wasn’t the tone of my post and I apologize if it was. 

Anyway, other than crating all day, what do you suggest I do with my dog if everyone is working and/or at school, or just needs to be out for the day? Thanks again.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogma13 said:


> No need to start identical threads.If it's in a wrong forum someone will move it.
> I can't merge this particular one over to the other one but I sent up the Bat Signal.


Sorry about that.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Haha! She was sleeping and had just gotten up to have some water. She’s bright eyed and bushy tailed trust me.

There hasn’t been any mindless “daycare” it was a bad choice of words. It’s always been training whenever we’ve left her for the day. Even if we have to go out of town and board her, the training center takes her during the day. 



Nurse Bishop said:


> Also, your little dominant dog- do you suppose in the pack dynamic the little dog 'owns' your family? its just a thought. I own a miniature stallion. (and also full size Arabian stallion). Dinky constantly bites my good natured stallion. He chases and runs my dairy cow. He would probably kill her calf. He has small man syndrome. I'll bet your shizu has small man syndrome and into this world comes a baby puppy.


The little one dominates over the GSD but definitely doesn’t rule the house. They’re both females (spayed).

I’m going to try the backing off thing and see how it goes. I think maybe I’ve painted a worse picture than it is. Sometimes she’ll come over and give a sniff and maybe a lick and be on her way. She’s not totally disconnected and she loves to train & play with us. No matter who’s over she brings her toy to me to play. It’s not all bad. She just seems more excited with new people that’s all.


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## unfortunatefoster (Dec 17, 2017)

Scotibs said:


> I see some of these other posts with aggressive dog problems, so I guess this is better....


Darn tootin', it's better! I wouldn't trade my guy for the world, but good gravy, he is a handful.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

unfortunatefoster said:


> Scotibs said:
> 
> 
> > I see some of these other posts with aggressive dog problems, so I guess this is better....
> ...


Lol! You know how they say the grass is always greener? I start reading some of these posts and I’m feeling pretty good about my situation. She may not be the “mushiest” GSD ever but she’s well behaved without e and pinch collars.


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

Sounds like you need to work on engagement, and not just learning commands. Does she have a favorite person in your home?


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogfaeries said:


> Sounds like you need to work on engagement, and not just learning commands. Does she have a favorite person in your home?


15 minutes a day of practicing and then all play. There’s plenty of engagement. Most people on the thread have said less engagement and that I’m smothering her....


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## Chuck94! (Feb 8, 2018)

Scotibs said:


> dogfaeries said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like you need to work on engagement, and not just learning commands. Does she have a favorite person in your home?
> ...


Well clearly what you are currently doing is NOT working; so why would you not try something else?


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

Not engagement as in playing with her. That's not what people mean. It's having the dog focused on you.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Chuck94! said:


> Scotibs said:
> 
> 
> > dogfaeries said:
> ...


I am... I’ve said numerous times that I’m going to try what people suggested. Most have suggested that I let her come to me and I back off.


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

I think of my dog Russell as a good example of "engagement". He's a pretty social dog here at home, and loves to play with everyone that comes to the house, BUT he is MY dog. He watches me constantly, just in case I "need him". Sometimes I'll joke, and put a hand over his eyes and say "stop looking at me". All I have to do is whisper his name, and he's by my side, eyes sparkling, ready for whatever I want to do. My trainer told me when he was younger that she could easily see our connection.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogfaeries said:


> Not engagement as in playing with her. That's not what people mean. It's having the dog focused on you.


Someone is with the dog all day everyday. My wife doesn’t work and now the kids are home from school. Most people have said or suggested that maybe I’m giving her too much attention and I should back off and let her come to me. That’s what I’m going to try.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogfaeries said:


> I think of my dog Russell as a good example of "engagement". He's a pretty social dog here at home, and loves to play with everyone that comes to the house, BUT he is MY dog. He watches me constantly, just in case I "need him". Sometimes I'll joke, and put a hand over his eyes and say "stop looking at me". All I have to do is whisper his name, and he's by my side, eyes sparkling, ready for whatever I want to do. My trainer told me when he was younger that she could easily see our connection.


And that’s how my other dog is and all my past dogs. This is the reason for my post. Anyway, I think I’ve gotten all the advice I need thank you.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

This might help you understand what "engagement" means, plus it's just a great resource to have bookmarked...lots of good articles!

https://www.collared-scholar.com/power-checking-4-steps-boost-dogs-engagement/


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

Well, it's worth a try to see how she reacts. Like I asked before, does she have a favorite person at your house? 

She might very well be a dog like my dog Carly. She seems to love us all equally. No favorite person. She gets excited when people come over, mainly because she thinks she can get them to play ball with her. Generally she's a deliberate, serious dog, very polite even as a puppy. Easy to live with.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogfaeries said:


> Well, it's worth a try to see how she reacts. Like I asked before, does she have a favorite person at your house?
> 
> She might very well be a dog like my dog Carly. She seems to love us all equally. No favorite person. She gets excited when people come over, mainly because she thinks she can get them to play ball with her. Generally she's a deliberate, serious dog, very polite even as a puppy. Easy to live with.


We think my wife is her favorite but it’s close between her and my son.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> This might help you understand what "engagement" means, plus it's just a great resource to have bookmarked...lots of good articles!
> 
> https://www.collared-scholar.com/power-checking-4-steps-boost-dogs-engagement/


Like the article says, I play hard with her. When we go to an open field she’s with me off leash and looking to play, following and watching. If I pick up her toy, like the article says, she stops what she’s doing and runs to me to play. So, I’m not perfect, but what this article says is pretty much already happening.


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## Chuck94! (Feb 8, 2018)

You should crate her or have at least a couple of hours a day where she is by herself with no one else home...down time


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Chuck94! said:


> You should crate her or have at least a couple of hours a day where she is by herself with no one else home...down time


Once in a while if we have to go out we crate her but for the most part only at night.


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## andywhite (Dec 18, 2017)

I would not measure dogs love towards you based only on welcoming you when you come home. What about these scenarios?



off leash, will she walk with you or run away?
off leash, will she periodically look/check on you, care where you turn?
if she rests, you come read book next to her, will she stay or walk away?
if you watch TV, will she rest near to you or rather stay in different room?
is she following you around the house when you are alone in the house?
if you go on garden, will she hang out on garden or rather stay inside?
if you go inside the house, will she stay inside or rather go outside?

If the answer to the most of the questions is YES, than you have no problem.


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

After reading your posts and thinking about it again, I don’t think you have much of a problem either. If it was me, I’d ditch dropping her off for training and the socializing with other dogs. Beyond that, she sounds like a perfectly nice puppy.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

andywhite said:


> I would not measure dogs love towards you based only on welcoming you when you come home. What about these scenarios?




off leash, will she walk with you or run away? * Walks with me*
off leash, will she periodically look/check on you, care where you turn?*Yes, and chase me down if I changed direction*
if she rests, you come read book next to her, will she stay or walk away?* 50/50 on this one*
if you watch TV, will she rest near to you or rather stay in different room?* Always near in the same room*
is she following you around the house when you are alone in the house?* Yes*
if you go on garden, will she hang out on garden or rather stay inside?* Always out following me around curiously*
if you go inside the house, will she stay inside or rather go outside?* Follow me in*


Thanks!!


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogfaeries said:


> After reading your posts and thinking about it again, I don’t think you have much of a problem either. If it was me, I’d ditch dropping her off for training and the socializing with other dogs. Beyond that, she sounds like a perfectly nice puppy.


Thanks. I’m going to take some of the advice about giving her some space, but (and I know this doesn’t seem popular), we work hard with her at home but sometimes, rather than crate for hours, I’d rather her be having fun and getting her energy out. I don’t believe a once a week training day is ruining our bond.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Scotibs said:


> Most of the training is done by us at home now.
> 
> I’m curious, what do most of you do with your dog when you’re working? Isn’t it better for her to be in training rather than a crate all day, no? She sleeps in her crate at night, but I don’t crate her during the day. These dogs need activity and exercise and it would be wrong to crate or kennel if there’s an alternative. Please let me know.
> 
> ...


Actually, most people consider demands for attention such as licking petting requests, sitting in their laps (the dog weighs over 70 lbs!) We consider these to be negative behaviors. GSDs or any dogs are not allowed to demand for us to pet them. These are bad manners. They should go calmly up to the company when everybody is seated and relaxed and allow themselves to be petted. They do not demand, do not shove their head under someone's hand, do not lick them, do not get on their laps. This is not considered polite. After the greeting, they go or are directed to their place, a pad or pillow, where they lie and nobley 'guard the flock'. 

You teach this and other things by having them drag a long line in the house. Do not allow your dog to greet people in a way you do not want. Reinforce the place command with the long line by taking them to their place and put them in a down.

You mentioned another problem. If your dog decides not to obey you to come when called, take up the line and draw her to you. Then praise with a couple of shoulder strokes, nothing overboard, drop the line and go about your business. Disobedience is simply not an option.

What a lot of people who work long hours do is is they put their dogs in outside kennels. Kennels should be in the shade, have an undiggable and easily cleanable floor such as cement and be wired over or covered at the top so they cannot climb out. You can get these kennel sides and gates at home improvement centers or Tractor Supply. A nice comfy denlike dog house is put in the kennel in case it rains.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Scotibs said:


> 15 minutes a day of practicing and then all play. There’s plenty of engagement. Most people on the thread have said less engagement and that I’m smothering her....


I don't think you quite understand the definition of engagement. Its not about how engaged you are with her. Its about how engaged she is with you. 

And the shi tzu IS dominant in the house you say. Not constantly being a jerk about it since he has established dominance when she was a small puppy. But in pack dynamics he rules the house in her mind.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

After reading all this, if you simply taught and enforced some manners around the arrival of company and quit the daycare/trainer you will be fine. She is only 7 months old after all.


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## Mareesey (Aug 25, 2016)

My last GSD didn't like pets which I equated to affection. If one of us were sleeping she would hop up in bed and cuddle us and leave when we woke up. She wouldn't come for pets but if I was sad she would shove herself full body at me and place herself under my hand and just made it be known she wanted me to pet her. I think she got that I enjoyed petting her so she let me get my fill when I was sad. 

Take the advice given and I'm sure things will improve. I would take her out of daycare and start doing what I could to bond to the dog I'd nearly bet there is someone there she has closely bonded to.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> Scotibs said:
> 
> 
> > Most of the training is done by us at home now.
> ...


Outside kennels and/or having your dog outside unsupervised is not allowed where I live. She would have to be crated indoors and I feel that’s very restrictive. As you know, they need activity.

When people visit we have her go to her mat/bed and we don’t allow her to jump. We’re working on the jumping. She gets ignored until all four are on the floor. Most of our friends love big dogs and call her over for petting and ask for “kisses”. It’s mostly an on-demand thing. Some people have posted that “most GSD owners wouldn’t want a friendly dog”, I disagree. What’s wrong with me having a friendly GSD? I don’t need to teach her to be protective as that comes naturally (not my first GSD), and I certainly don’t need one like a neighbor of mine who tells everyone not to come too close when he walks his GSD because he doesn’t like other people or animals, - or any of the plethora of other owners in this forum posting about aggressive behavior and leash pulling (problems I don’t have).

I’m taking advice on letting her come to me for affection and cutting back on the drop offs. Let’s see how it goes. Thanks again!


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Having kennels outside is illegal? What country is this may I ask. Then make an open front building outside and put the kennel in it. It seems that you have actually trained your dog to give attention to other people, then do not like that she gives attention to other people. 

Maybe your neighbor not allowing GSD interactions with strangers is following these rules of engagement. It is a very good article. 
https://www.collared-scholar.com/power-checking-4-steps-boost-dogs-engagement/

People come to this forum to seek advice as you have done. The vast group of problemless (dog problemless) people here, you do not hear from them. Its not like all GSDs are problem ridden.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> Having kennels outside is illegal? What country is this may I ask. Then make an open front building outside and put the kennel in it. It seems that you have actually trained your dog to give attention to other people, then do not like that she gives attention to other people.
> 
> Maybe your neighbor not allowing GSD interactions with strangers is following these rules of engagement. It is a very good article.
> https://www.collared-scholar.com/power-checking-4-steps-boost-dogs-engagement/
> ...


My community does not allow unsupervised pets in the yard.

My neighbor said another dog attack his when it was a puppy and ever since then he hasn’t like other animals or people. Now he’s 5 and they just deal with it.


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## dogbyte (Apr 5, 2002)

My pup was split from his litter at 6 weeks. He is a super social, affectionate non dog aggressive male that just turned 1. I am retired so home or taking the dogs training most all day. When my husband gets home they are both nuts to see him..like a long lost friend. I think the pup expects your attention. Gunny does get his front feet up in my lap and like attention, but I sat on the floor and hand fed him for the first months he was here. Try teaching your pup some fun tricks using marker based training with some special treats. Make the sessions shirt sweet and super fun. Leerburg.com has great free info


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

dogbyte said:


> My pup was split from his litter at 6 weeks. He is a super social, affectionate non dog aggressive male that just turned 1. I am retired so home or taking the dogs training most all day. When my husband gets home they are both nuts to see him..like a long lost friend. I think the pup expects your attention. Gunny does get his front feet up in my lap and like attention, but I sat on the floor and hand fed him for the first months he was here. Try teaching your pup some fun tricks using marker based training with some special treats. Make the sessions shirt sweet and super fun. Leerburg.com has great free info


We do. We mark with a YES and treat. We train with her everyday. Thanks for the advice.


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## Miika's Mom (Sep 23, 2013)

I have been following this thread with great interest. I guess I don't see that you have an actual "problem" just a perception issue. 

I have two GSDs. Miika just turned 5 and Kiisa just turned 3. Both are very people friendly and that is how I wanted them to be. However, when a particular friend comes over, they are all over the place excited. Left unchecked they will jump all over him and kill him with kisses, even if they just saw him the day before. I'm gone for a couple of weeks and when they finally see me I get some wags and a little petting time, then they are off again. 

I spent much time working to get them to greet people calmly because I have them in one of my places of business. I had clients who understood and acted as I requested when they came through the door and are now even new clients are received with a happy but calm greeting. (Yes, the clients know the dogs are there.)

The one particular friend is much harder to train. He likes when they jump all over him and will purposely wind them up, particularly Kiisa. 

Does this mean they like him better or prefer his company? Of course not. They have learned what is acceptable behavior for me and what is for him. I can guarantee they respect me more, listen to me better, and always want to come with me if a choice is given. 

I guess you could say that I am the pack leader and he is considered to be more on the level of a pack member. In the similar vein, they do not jump on my dad, even though they are happy to greet him, but they also do not respond to his commands well. 

I think it is much better to be respected than to be "liked" in the manner you are longing for, as I am sure that your dog likes you (and your family) more than your guests.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Miika's Mom said:


> I have been following this thread with great interest. I guess I don't see that you have an actual "problem" just a perception issue.
> 
> I have two GSDs. Miika just turned 5 and Kiisa just turned 3. Both are very people friendly and that is how I wanted them to be. However, when a particular friend comes over, they are all over the place excited. Left unchecked they will jump all over him and kill him with kisses, even if they just saw him the day before. I'm gone for a couple of weeks and when they finally see me I get some wags and a little petting time, then they are off again.
> 
> ...


Nice to see someone else with a similar experience rather than all the “never heard of such a thing” responses. I’ve seen other people online with this as well. I’ll keep you posted.


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## Katsugsd (Jul 7, 2018)

I wonder if it's a case of "training to be calm." Right from the get go with my Shiba, I did basic obedience the moment we got him home. 
My Shiba Inu is like this - he'll greet me at the door by just being there, maybe a couple sneezes but that's about it. "Oh hey, you're home. Cool. I'm gonna go lay back down now" I chalked it up to the breed until I made friends that actually came over or we met in public with him. He goes CRAZY for them, jumping up on them, happy Shiba smiles, and that weird curly tail of his kind of wiggles (it's rolled a bit too tight to actually wag). I can't say they don't encourage it either since they are a couple that try to compete for his attention. 


My GSD though, she's just always excited to see me. She squeals and whines when I come home and let her out of her crate. I call her my "tea kettle" lol.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Katsugsd said:


> I wonder if it's a case of "training to be calm." Right from the get go with my Shiba, I did basic obedience the moment we got him home.
> My Shiba Inu is like this - he'll greet me at the door by just being there, maybe a couple sneezes but that's about it. "Oh hey, you're home. Cool. I'm gonna go lay back down now" I chalked it up to the breed until I made friends that actually came over or we met in public with him. He goes CRAZY for them, jumping up on them, happy Shiba smiles, and that weird curly tail of his kind of wiggles (it's rolled a bit too tight to actually wag). I can't say they don't encourage it either since they are a couple that try to compete for his attention.
> 
> 
> My GSD though, she's just always excited to see me. She squeals and whines when I come home and let her out of her crate. I call her my "tea kettle" lol.


Definitely some training involved . For instance, we’ve trained her to sit and calm down before the crate is open. So no matter how she’s behaving, she stops and sits quietly as soon as she sees us coming. However, she rarely acts up in the crate. We’ve been very lucky with that. She likes it in there! We leave it open all day and she’ll go in there to chew on a toy or sleep. But it sounds like she acts like your Shiba which brings me full circle to it just being her “way” or temperament.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

GSDs are much more reserved and perhaps way less affectionate than many other breeds. But dude, you said your dog turns around and wants to go back inside the training center/doggy daycare when she sees you coming! You said she sometimes just lays in her crate when you open it in the morning, and does not even get up to greet you when you get home! 

That indicates a lack of bonding/relationship! I know that's uncomfortable to hear or think about, but don't pacify yourself by believing it's just "her way"...it is a problem that NEEDS addressing for both your sakes!


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

I missed where OP said she turns around to go back to doggie daycare when she sees him. But that is why I asked what do they do that she likes to do.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> GSDs are much more reserved and perhaps way less affectionate than many other breeds. But dude, you said your dog turns around and wants to go back inside the training center/doggy daycare when she sees you coming! You said she sometimes just lays in her crate when you open it in the morning, and does not even get up to greet you when you get home!
> 
> That indicates a lack of bonding/relationship! I know that's uncomfortable to hear or think about, but don't pacify yourself by believing it's just "her way"...it is a problem that NEEDS addressing for both your sakes!


She’s playing with other dogs. Does your dog get excited at a dog park? As far as the crate goes, since she was younger I would not open the crate until she sat and stopped jumping or hitting the crate. I think her staying calm when I open the crate is what I’ve trained her to do. 

She doesn’t come to greet ANYONE who comes in unless she doesn’t recognize them or they’re a visitor. The more I think about it, the more I realize a lot of this is part of how we’ve trained and encouraged her. Again, if she did get excited and start jumping we ignored her until she calmed down and stopped. She’s been trained to be very reserved. 

Anyway, I’m trying what people suggested and not giving her as much attention. I’ll keep everyone updated.

Btw, I’ve found more than one thread in this forum with the same behavior, and it’s been fine. So I’ve gotten a little reassurance from that.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

MineAreWorkingline said:


> I missed where OP said she turns around to go back to doggie daycare when she sees him. But that is why I asked what do they do that she likes to do.


She’s running around with a half dozen other dogs playing and isn’t ready to go. Not that unusual.


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

Not unusual for your dog but unusual for the average German Shepherd.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

MineAreWorkingline said:


> Not unusual for your dog but unusual for the average German Shepherd.


If they’re running around & playing most of the dogs there don’t want to leave including the 3 other GSD’s. We laugh with the other owners about it.


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

Scotibs said:


> If they’re running around & playing most of the dogs there don’t want to leave including the 3 other GSD’s. We laugh with the other owners about it.


I don't go to doggy daycare but I do frequent dog parks with some of my dogs and have multiple dogs myself. That has not been my experience nor have I seen that with other dogs. :shrug:


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

I feel bad. Believe me when I tell you that it is not my intention to make you feel bad. I'm really and truly trying to help!

You keep saying that it isn't what it is, however, and I would hope that you'll shift that perspective and really get what people are trying to tell you here! This is entirely solvable, that's the good news! But it'll maybe or maybe not come around with the age and maturation of your puppy. If it were me I'd change some things to help it along!

I do, truly, wish you and your dog all the best! Sorry if it seemed otherwise.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> I feel bad. Believe me when I tell you that it is not my intention to make you feel bad. I'm really and truly trying to help!
> 
> You keep saying that it isn't what it is, however, and I would hope that you'll shift that perspective and really get what people are trying to tell you here! This is entirely solvable, that's the good news! But it'll maybe or maybe not come around with the age and maturation of your puppy. If it were me I'd change some things to help it along!
> 
> I do, truly, wish you and your dog all the best! Sorry if it seemed otherwise.


Don’t feel bad. I already said I was going to try some of the suggestions. Thanks for all the advice.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Poor quality video, but I filmed my dogs leaving the dog park this evening for reference...yes, the Chihuahua is with me LOL!


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> Poor quality video, but I filmed my dogs leaving the dog park this evening for reference...yes, the Chihuahua is with me LOL!


Now you should feel bad! You’re just rubbing it in at this point. Lol!


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Scotibs said:


> Now you should feel bad! You’re just rubbing it in at this point. Lol!


Not my intention, but you said several times that it's not unusual for a puppy to ignore you when playing with other dogs. There are around 15 or so people who bring their GSDs regularly to the dog park I use, and none of them have that problem at any age. My dog, while exceptional to me in every way, is pretty typical of GSDs in terms of response.

Before you said:



> Sometimes when I pick her up from training, I see other people picking up their dogs and the dogs are so excited to see them. Then mine comes out, sees me and makes a u-turn to go back...
> 
> Yes, some of the trainers have said “oh, how strange she hasn’t bonded to anyone in the house. Who feeds and plays with her?” Uh, me....


If you really believe that's normal GSD behavior, carry on. If not, make some changes. Your dog will very likely fawn on visitors less and become more aloof as she ages - so that issue may take care of itself without any intervention. If it were me though, I'd definitely work on bonding and engagement. Training should be fun for your dog, if it isn't find a trainer that can watch you work with her and give you some pointers!


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

tim_s_adams said:


> Before you said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, I said * more than once* that I’m going to take the advice here and make some changes - you seem to keep missing that. Btw, the trainer I mentioned was the first 2 months I had her, at home, once a week for 8 weeks - the training center has been fairly recently and about 1 day a week for the day. All other training has been one on one with us - mostly me on walks - at home. It’s not like I don’t interact and spend time with her. 

Now, don’t take the above statement as I’m complacent and not going to do anything different. I’m just making it clear. * I am going to work on the things suggested here *. But there are also some posts here from people whose dogs act similar. She’s only a puppy and I’m going to work on strengthening the bond as suggested. Thanks.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

As you have described it- In home trainer one day a week for the first two months, 
then you said daycare/training for 1 week per month- dropped off every day at 10AM and picked up at 5PM. 
Later you said its 2 or 3 days a week of daycare/training 
and now the daycare/training is 1 day a week. Have you been tapering off this outside social life? 

So she has learned New people- New dogs= FUN! 
Same old family, same old place, same old thing= Boring. Not fun

Here is something from the article about engagement. You could use your friends to teach that company is not so much fun. You then work on how much fun you are for the dog https://www.collared-scholar.com/power-checking-4-steps-boost-dogs-engagement/

"You have two options in any environment. Control your dog, or control the environment.

Most of the time, if you live in the real world, you’ll need to select the first option – at least to an extent. You’ll need to implement management strategies so as not to allow your dog to self-reward disengagement.

But when you have control of the environment, letting your dog completely check out can be an invaluable tool.

Here’s a common scenario.

If people are particularly distracting, and you are around a group of people who will help you with your training (control your environment), you can allow disengagement.

The goal: Allow the dog to explore the strangers and realize that they are hardly as fun as you are.

Here’s how it works:

Instruct the people to completely ignore the dog when he approaches. No eye contact or touch. And certainly no talking.
Allow the dog the freedom to explore the group as he likes. Don’t say anything or try to coax him back.
The dog will explore, and get bored, and should eventually find his way back to you (make sure you practice this in a place with good fencing or indoors, where your dog can’t head for the hills .. and please, only practice this with social dogs.)
When your dog gets bored with the environment and checks back in with you, you can come to life, play and reward your dog.
Now, you have officially become better than the distractions."


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> As you have described it- In home trainer one day a week for the first two months,
> then you said daycare/training for 1 week per month- dropped off every day at 10AM and picked up at 5PM.
> Later you said its 2 or 3 days a week of daycare/training
> and now the daycare/training is 1 day a week. So, have you been tapering off this outside social life?
> ...


Sorry for the confusion. It was never drop off for a week. It was one week total per month made up of a day or 2 a week. My first post was a generalization and when I looked more closely, it’s about a day or 2 a week with a total of about 5 days per month - that’s where I got the week from. I’ve never been away from her for more than 8 hours. 

Your engagement comment was a cut and paste from the article I read. Getting a bunch of friends in a closed space to ignore her is a little much for me, but I can certainly work on it in the yard or a field - and I plan to. We have some friend that just don’t like big dogs and ignore her by default. She eventually gets bored and just goes to her favorite corner and plops down. In other words, doesn’t make her way back around to anyone who lives there..

Thanks again.


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## LynnPritchard (Jan 31, 2011)

Scotibs,it sounds to me as though you have a lovely, well-behaved, and well-adjusted dog. I’ve had four GDSs over many years, and though each has shared many basic qualities of character and type, each has also been very different. Our last was clearly devoted to us and to our two teen-aged boys, but he was also extremely dignified and reserved by nature. He made it clear that he considered my husband and me "alpha", and by nature he wouldn’t step over the line and be overtly affectionate with either of us (licking and jumping), though he was overtly physically affectionate with the boys, whom he seemed to consider more his "equals" in the pack. We didn’t teach him this or even encourage this behavior. It was just who he was. I often wished he were more overtly affectionate with the two of us, but he was even uncomfortable with our cuddling him. He would accept it with fortitude but would then quietly move away a bit when we were done. He wouldn’t sleep actually touching us, either, but he would snuggle with the boys. He wouldn’t have hurt our feelings for anything, I’m quite sure, but he clearly thought it inappropriate for him to be physically affectionate to my husband and me or to lick us. He licked the boys a lot. Occasionally if he were really happy to see us after a time away, he would sneak in a quick lick or two but would then look chagrined at himself for doing it. Our neighbors adored him and used to laugh and call him “Carson”, as in the Downton Abbey butler, because of his dignified demeanor and his adherence to what he saw as the rules. In my own opinion, you don’t have any sort of problem but rather a dear, naturally dignified dog who loves you and loves being with you. Keep up exactly what you’re doing!


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## Doctor Mike (Aug 3, 2012)

Your dog is probably bored. Hugs and kisses are boring for a working dog. A friend, a biologist, had a working Flat Coat who was excited to meet everyone new because he sat around working all day. She needs a job -- steer clear of OB class (more boredom). Try agility or an active sport. Teach a new command or trick every day. And exercise her mind and body (gently) for at least 30 minutes a day. You do not want to waste her mind and body and love is not all a good dog needs! Good luck.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

LynnPritchard said:


> Scotibs,it sounds to me as though you have a lovely, well-behaved, and well-adjusted dog. I’ve had four GDSs over many years, and though each has shared many basic qualities of character and type, each has also been very different. Our last was clearly devoted to us and to our two teen-aged boys, but he was also extremely dignified and reserved by nature. He made it clear that he considered my husband and me "alpha", and by nature he wouldn’t step over the line and be overtly affectionate with either of us (licking and jumping), though he was overtly physically affectionate with the boys, whom he seemed to consider more his "equals" in the pack. We didn’t teach him this or even encourage this behavior. It was just who he was. I often wished he were more overtly affectionate with the two of us, but he was even uncomfortable with our cuddling him. He would accept it with fortitude but would then quietly move away a bit when we were done. He wouldn’t sleep actually touching us, either, but he would snuggle with the boys. He wouldn’t have hurt our feelings for anything, I’m quite sure, but he clearly thought it inappropriate for him to be physically affectionate to my husband and me or to lick us. He licked the boys a lot. Occasionally if he were really happy to see us after a time away, he would sneak in a quick lick or two but would then look chagrined at himself for doing it. Our neighbors adored him and used to laugh and call him “Carson”, as in the Downton Abbey butler, because of his dignified demeanor and his adherence to what he saw as the rules. In my own opinion, you don’t have any sort of problem but rather a dear, naturally dignified dog who loves you and loves being with you. Keep up exactly what you’re doing!


Wow! Sounds like you’re describing my GSD! It’s so great to see feedback like this, and I really appreciate you taking the time to write it. I’m still going to try some of the things suggested here but again, it’s very nice to see that maybe, just maybe my situation is not so tragic after all. Thanks again !!


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Doctor Mike said:


> Your dog is probably bored. Hugs and kisses are boring for a working dog. A friend, a biologist, had a working Flat Coat who was excited to meet everyone new because he sat around working all day. She needs a job -- steer clear of OB class (more boredom). Try agility or an active sport. Teach a new command or trick every day. And exercise her mind and body (gently) for at least 30 minutes a day. You do not want to waste her mind and body and love is not all a good dog needs! Good luck.


She’s definitely not bored - she’s played with constantly all day every waking moment. The training is the minority of the time, the majority of her time is with us playing fetch and with her toys. Thank you for the input.


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

A dog's drives requires more than playing fetch the majority of time.


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## LynnPritchard (Jan 31, 2011)

In my opinion, you definitely don't have a problem. This dignified male was the best of my GDSs, and my heart still aches for him six years after his death at 13 1/2. He just had his own very fixed code of behavior and of his own place in the pack. He came wired that way. He was honest, dependable, quietly protective (but he really, really hoped that everyone would behave and "stay in their own corners", and that he wouldn't have to step in and straighten things out), and kind. And everyone adored him for it. Enjoy your precious girl. I have no doubt that she adores you, too.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Dignified behavior is normal in a well bred adult GSD. But not so normal in a 7 month old puppy in the opinion of some members here, especially selective dignified behavior. Dignified with family- all over other people.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Here’s something I’d like to hear your opinions on. 

I’ve been paying closer attention to her behavior and it’s worth mentioning that when I come home from work she doesn’t necessarily greet me, but within a minute or two she searches for her favorite toy, comes up to me, nuzzles me with her nose, drops it and looks at me. As soon as I reach down she grabs it and starts playing. I play until she’s tired or comes up to me again. Last night at dinner she came up with her toy while I was eating (with the family), dropped it and started trying to pull me off the seat to play. 

Also, when my wife or I leave she tries to hold us in by biting our clothes or shoes. Not aggressively or hard, but very carefully like a mother grabbing a pup. She might give a whimper or two once we leave and then lay down. So it’s more of a “don’t go” reaction than a welcome home? 

What do you guys think?


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

Thats nice she wants to interact with you but in general, bothering people, begging for food or demanding attention while people are eating should not be reinforced. My Inga goes into her crate as soon as plates are being put on the table. She doesn't have to be told. After dinner she reappears with a big toothy smile because she knows she will get peanut butter.

You want to increase your puppys engagement with you in general. (please see above article)
That could be by the NILIF method- Nothing In Life Is Free. Do not leave her toys lying around. YOU or individual family members own the toys and allow her to play with the one you want her to play with. Play until you choose not to play anymore, and put it up. The idea is to make you seem like the most incredibly fun thing in the universe. At this daycare/training center, your puppy has been self rewarding non engagement. Sure they do some training but it sounds like mostly free play with other loose dogs. She does not want to come to you to leave.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> Thats nice she wants to interact with you but in general, bothering people, begging for food or demanding attention while people are eating should not be reinforced. My Inga goes into her crate as soon as plates are being put on the table. She doesn't have to be told. After dinner she reappears with a big toothy smile because she knows she will get peanut butter.
> 
> You want to increase your puppys engagement with you in general. (please see above article)
> That could be by the NILIF method- Nothing In Life Is Free. Do not leave her toys lying around. YOU or individual family members own the toys and allow her to play with the one you want her to play with. Play until you choose not to play anymore, and put it up. The idea is to make you seem like the most incredibly fun thing in the universe. At this daycare/training center, your puppy has been self rewarding non engagement. Sure they do some training but it sounds like mostly free play with other loose dogs. She does not want to come to you to leave.


Ok, so she does not get table food or beg for it. She asked to play while I was eating and was ignored and sat down in the corner. None of my dogs are allowed to beg for food. Let’s get that out of the way. And I don’t reward them when I’m done. They simply do not get “people food”.

To clarify, the training center is NOT free play. They are playing at the end of the day while they wait to be picked up. I pay a lot of money for training, not play.

Everyone says I am the person she prefers to play with or “the most incredibly fun thing” there. In a crowd she comes to me for play no matter who is there. I am guilty of leaving toys around. I’ll read the article.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Scotibs said:


> Here’s something I’d like to hear your opinions on.
> 
> I’ve been paying closer attention to her behavior and it’s worth mentioning that when I come home from work she doesn’t necessarily greet me, but within a minute or two she searches for her favorite toy, comes up to me, nuzzles me with her nose, drops it and looks at me. As soon as I reach down she grabs it and starts playing. I play until she’s tired or comes up to me again. Last night at dinner she came up with her toy while I was eating (with the family), dropped it and started trying to pull me off the seat to play.
> 
> ...


None of my dogs have never been as happy to see me as they are to see known visitors. Bud being the exception. Sabi always greeted me at the door, and when she was young I used to get hip checks. Shadow really couldn't care less but will greet guests with enthusiasm. 
However, she cuddles with me, sleeps with me, watches me and hides behind me. I have a frequent visitor to my garage that is her long lost best friend every week, lol. But if I leave the yard she follows me and last night when I said bedtime she stopped in mid fetch to follow me. 
I am the constant, I'm the one they can depend on, I'm the one that's always there. Why would that be exciting? When Sabi got stolen she almost killed me she was so happy to see me, but other then that she maintained a certain dignity.
Think of the difference between Mom and Dad and the uncle who visits once a year to spoil the kids.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Sabis mom said:


> None of my dogs have never been as happy to see me as they are to see known visitors. Bud being the exception. Sabi always greeted me at the door, and when she was young I used to get hip checks. Shadow really couldn't care less but will greet guests with enthusiasm.
> However, she cuddles with me, sleeps with me, watches me and hides behind me. I have a frequent visitor to my garage that is her long lost best friend every week, lol. But if I leave the yard she follows me and last night when I said bedtime she stopped in mid fetch to follow me.
> I am the constant, I'm the one they can depend on, I'm the one that's always there. Why would that be exciting? When Sabi got stolen she almost killed me she was so happy to see me, but other then that she maintained a certain dignity.
> Think of the difference between Mom and Dad and the uncle who visits once a year to spoil the kids.


Thank you so much @Sabis mom !


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

" and started trying to pull me off the seat to play. " Thats what got my attention. Of course dogs do not get fed from the table. Putting her teeth on you and trying to pull you off your seat at dinner time? Most GSD owners would have used a more active discouragement than ignore.

It will be interesting to see how her level of engagement changes when YOU own all the toys. You only play using the toy you select and put it away when she you decide. When you come home and she does not come out of her crate to greet you, you have a drag line on her. Go to the end of it, call her to you while you gently reeling her in. Then have a party, produce her favorite toy from you pocket and be the most fun thing that has happened all day.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

Nurse Bishop said:


> " and started trying to pull me off the seat to play. " Thats what got my attention. Of course dogs do not get fed from the table. Putting her teeth on you and trying to pull you off your seat at dinner time? Most GSD owners would have used a more active discouragement than ignore.


Yeah, but it worked. She moaned a bit to complain and laid down. It was a tiny nip on a wrinkle in my jeans, not even skin, but a nip is a bite and the intention was to get my attention.

I read a lot about prongs and using them for leash training and some other obedience things. Its never crossed my mind to use them and she’s great on a leash. I have a neighbor with another GSD, similar age, and they ask how I trained her to walk so well - loose leash, no pulling. I just say I’ve spent a second mortgage payment on training and work with her a lot. Its not that I’m against other methods, its just never crossed my mind. She responds well to leave-it, NO, and off. I have to work on come and her name. 



Nurse Bishop said:


> It will be interesting to see how her level of engagement changes when YOU own all the toys. You only play using the toy you select and put it away when she you decide. When you come home and she does not come out of her crate to greet you, you have a drag line on her. Go to the end of it, call her to you while you gently reeling her in. Then have a party, produce her favorite toy from you pocket and be the most fun thing that has happened all day.


I like this idea! I’m going to try it. Except she’s loose when I come home - not crated.. Either way, I’ll try this. I’ve been working with her name and reeling her in. I like how you’ve suggested combining it with greeting.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Only one thing stood out for me in this (besides what everyone sorta alluded to - which is perhaps you are trying too hard.) and that is when she came to you with the toy and asked to play, you played until she was tired. Ehh, Stop long before she's tired. Yes, play, yes reward but long before she is tired.


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## Scotibs (Jul 8, 2018)

middleofnowhere said:


> Only one thing stood out for me in this (besides what everyone sorta alluded to - which is perhaps you are trying too hard.) and that is when she came to you with the toy and asked to play, you played until she was tired. Ehh, Stop long before she's tired. Yes, play, yes reward but long before she is tired.


Thank you.


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## ShastinaMama (Sep 6, 2014)

When we first picked up Hanna at 9 weeks old, she wanted nothing to do with me on the ride home. I wanted to hold her but nope, she would have none of it. Instead, she chose to sit in the back of our SUV where I had a stuffed toy and blanket for her - she was so full of independence and whenever I'd look at her, she'd stare back at me like "What? I'm just sitting here since I have no idea who you are! You don't mind do you?" Well, eventually she curled up into a ball and went to sleep for the rest of the 3 hour ride home.

When we got home, she wouldn't even let me carry her into the house! Nope! Instead, she held her head up and sauntered her way through the front door as if she always lived here. Needless to say I was floored since I'd never had a pup like this! So, my husband and I decided to give her room to get to know us on her own level. She made quick friends with her brothers though (two 16 year old dachshunds) and they curled up together the first night. This went on for a little over two weeks then eventually she began to warm up to us and by the time a month rolled around, she "officially" accepted us as her Mom and Dad.

Now...she's our shadow and nursemaid to her brothers since she knows they're old and so she checks on them constantly (sometimes to the point of them getting angry at her!).

For us, it felt odd that she wasn't acting like all the other pups we ever had in our lives, but I think we did the right thing by allowing her to get to know us on "her" level and not pushing her to be the puppy "we" wanted her to be.

As for visitors, our daughter and son-in-law would visit during that time, and yes, she was very "waggly-butt" with them - but then again, we always put "our" best foot forward when visitors arrive, don't we?


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