# Male vs Female for a family with children



## Walter1980 (Aug 11, 2021)

I have been told by two different breeders that females are a better choice for a family with children. Initially, I took it with a grain of salt because both breeders only had females left in their current litters, but the breeder we are going with is reputable and knowledgeable and has been very helpful. The way she explained it is that males tend to stick with one person where a female tends to spread the love a little more. My wife has been a little stubborn on sticking to wanting a male, only because she has had male dogs (non shepherds) her entire life. This pup would not only be around my son but my young nieces and nephews as well. Any experiences and insights would be helpful.


----------



## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

the differences, if any, would be so subtle and unique to the individual dog… i’d vote to keep the peace with your wife and get a male.

i’ve had two males, two females, and a slew of fosters…. all have been good with kids and just as loving. if you forced me to pick, it was actually one of my males that was the most family oriented.

i typically tell people, you don’t develop a preference until your third dog.


----------



## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

My male hasn't been raised with children, and has very little contact with them. My son's friend was visiting with his pre-toddler stage baby, I was out. The little one's patting of my dog was little punches to the side of my dog's head. Nitro loved that little girl, and didn't flinch or move, even when she put a finger right up one of his nostrils. That young lady could do no wrong, from Nitro's perspective. (I was horrified and shocked when I got home, that it had happened.)

My first german shepherd was a female and lived in our household with 5 children; she was a very sweet, kind, gentle dog, and never put a paw wrong with our children, or their visitors. That included one sleepover with about twenty 5 year olds.


----------



## AboutAbby (Jun 19, 2021)

It's individual with the dog, isn't everything? I was told a VERY LONG time ago by a stranger with a German Shepherd, if you want the best watch/guard dog get a female and let her have a litter and you have a protector for life. The best dog. We had a male growing up and that boy let no one near us kids, not even an abusive parent. I agree with Fodder and stick with the male for the wife. I wouldn't hesitate, although I had the choice of Abby or her brother, I always wanted to go with the advice from a stranger. I see no difference they are ALL wonderful pup pups.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

OP, who will be dealing the most with the new dog? Training, feeding, hanging out etc.


----------



## Walter1980 (Aug 11, 2021)

wolfy dog said:


> OP, who will be dealing the most with the new dog? Training, feeding, hanging out etc.


It would be a pretty even mix between my wife and I. We both work full time so he/she would spend the weekdays with my in-laws who are retired and have a nice big fenced in yard. My wife dropped our previous dog off in the morning at my father in laws and picked him up after work. My father in law would take my previous dog for a lot of walks as well so once they are trained, he would do that as well. So I suppose this dog would be getting a healthy dose of everyone. I will take the lead in training, however, so I can see initially how I may be seen as his or her owner.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

It's individual to the dog not the sex of the dog. 
But to be completely honest, I think the advice that the breeder's both gave you is correct.
I've had 4 females and 2 males currently, the females tended to be more serious in a good way and the males more goofy until challenged. I don't think I'd change what we did, girls for a young family, males later but having said that, my current younger male absolutely adores and actively seeks out my 1 year old granddaughter.


----------



## Galathiel (Nov 30, 2012)

I've had both females and males. I had females until I discovered that males actually worked better with my personality. Both sexes were good with kids.


----------



## Gwyllgi (Aug 16, 2017)

They used to say, the females protect the family and the males protect the property. So, you would have the females inside the home and the males outside but at the end of the day, it comes down to the individual character of each dog and bitch. I have always had GSD bitches since childhood and except for a female chihuahua, all the smaller breeds that we have had throughout the years were males.


----------



## Clipper (May 7, 2021)

I'd favor a female. Male vs Female German Shepherd: Which is Better? - Shepherd Sense


----------



## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Gwyllgi said:


> They used to say, the females protect the family and the males protect the property. So, you would have the females inside the home and the males outside


I cant imagine leaving any GSD outside.


----------



## gsdsteve (Apr 24, 2010)

I've never had the same bond with my other dogs that I did with my first female Kasy.


----------



## GSDnewbieNero (Aug 1, 2020)

I was in the same position - decided to stick with what I knew (like your wife) and went with the male. And I am SO SO SO happy I did. Nero is perfect for us (he is 15 months now). He is bonded to me (but I feed, walk, train him) but he loves the family. He’s amazing with my kids - and isn’t as protective as a female that I have to worry when the kids are rough with each other/or their friends. We have a family in the area with a female and if someone walks up to the kids the female goes into protection mode. We have people/kids coming and going all day on to our property and he’s just great.


----------



## Gwyllgi (Aug 16, 2017)

Sunflowers said:


> I cant imagine leaving any GSD outside.


Nor could I, however mine is outside when I am at work or the weather is nice. I think the idea stems from when man started to domesticate the wolf, the females were thought as more caring due to raising litters, so they were close to the family, whereas the males being much larger and territorial were best suited to guard the perimeter. These days, that notion is no longer supported.


----------



## Walter1980 (Aug 11, 2021)

GSDnewbieNero said:


> View attachment 577850
> 
> I was in the same position - decided to stick with what I knew (like your wife) and went with the male. And I am SO SO SO happy I did. Nero is perfect for us (he is 15 months now). He is bonded to me (but I feed, walk, train him) but he loves the family. He’s amazing with my kids - and isn’t as protective as a female that I have to worry when the kids are rough with each other/or their friends. We have a family in the area with a female and if someone walks up to the kids the female goes into protection mode. We have people/kids coming and going all day on to our property and he’s just great.


Really nice picture. Cute kids and dog. I'm just hoping for the same thing. A dog with a great temperament that is good with the kids being around.


----------



## K9SHOUSE (Jun 8, 2003)

Having had both it depends on personality. I would be more concerned with temperament and what the breeder recommended for your family situation. Beyond that I prefer a female because when dealing with urinating my girls go once and are ready to walk or work. Not constantly stopping to sniff or mark all the time and less damageto my shrubs in the backyard. But you deal with a heat cycle or 2 till spaying. My males I have noticed are more goofy and slower to focus/catch on for training. But have had higher play drive.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

OP, let your wife decide. It will score you points!


----------



## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

The dog will be spending so much time outside of home that I would not be surprised he bonds to your in laws and ends up being their dog, male or female. A GSD is not really a dog to be dropped off and picked up after work.


----------



## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

Choose the temperament of the dog not the sex. The individual dog you get will be more important than deciding on gender first. We were sold a female by the breeder of our first dog whe; she decided the male she had had was too much dog for young children. The dog we ended up with was perfect in every way.


----------



## Walter1980 (Aug 11, 2021)

LuvShepherds said:


> Choose the temperament of the dog not the sex. The individual dog you get will be more important than deciding on gender first. We we sold a female by the breeder of our first dog whe; she decided the male she had had was too much dog for young children. The dog we ended up with was perfect in every way.


I've had a lot of contact with our breeder since her most recent litter was born. If we do get a male, we'd miss out on this litter since they have all been spoken for. But I'm interested in seeing how these puppies develop to see if one with the right temperament matches our family. I'm in no rush, just more concerned with getting the right dog to fit with us and to also give them a great life too. My preference would be to work with the breeder and use her 40 yrs of experience to see what she sees to help guide us a little. I think being open to both genders would give us more options, which is why I also don't really have a color preference either (some are black/red, some all black). If it has to be male, then I'll wait for the right male.


----------



## BigOzzy2018 (Jan 27, 2018)

GSD07 said:


> The dog will be spending so much time outside of home that I would not be surprised he bonds to your in laws and ends up being their dog, male or female. A GSD is not really a dog to be dropped off and picked up after work.


Not only that but how and when will the much needed training a pup required will be done. 
Does not sound like a good situation.


----------



## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

Walter1980 said:


> If it has to be male, then I'll wait for the right male.


hopefully, if nothing else… this thread has shown you that it doesn’t _have_ to be one or the other. 😉


----------



## doubleroll (Jul 5, 2011)

We had one of each...both WGSL. First was a male who grew up with our 7 year old daughter, newborn son, lots of nieces and nephews as well as neighbors kids. He was their baby sitter ;-) So gentle with the kids as well as other pets, cat, rabbits, birds, etc. He was 90 lbs and his tail wag could knock a small child down. Lou will forever live in our hearts…
We now have our girl Vienna who is about 13 months old. What a sweet girl around children and adults. She has a bit more drive and will chase rabbits and squirrels but she is so good even with our Chihuahua who is aggressive at times and not a dog that I would trust around children…

What these 2 have in common is their temperament which we expected since both from the same breeder, but several years apart. Good luck and enjoy!


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

doubleroll said:


> We had one of each...both WGSL. First was a male who grew up with our 7 year old daughter, newborn son, lots of nieces and nephews as well as neighbors kids. He was their baby sitter ;-) So gentle with the kids as well as other pets, cat, rabbits, birds, etc. He was 90 lbs and his tail wag could knock a small child down. Lou will forever live in our hearts…
> We now have our girl Vienna who is about 13 months old. What a sweet girl around children and adults. She has a bit more drive and will chase rabbits and squirrels but she is so good even with *our Chihuahua who is aggressive at times and not a dog that I would trust around children…*
> 
> What these 2 have in common is their temperament which we expected since both from the same breeder, but several years apart. Good luck and enjoy!


Help me understand the bolded. Why are so many small dogs (often Chis) aggressive and seemingly untrainable? Is it because owners don't think it's necessary or because they don't train easily?

I have three different friends with a regular Chi, a long haired one and a Pekinese. All of them bark non-stop at visitors, fake rush and will bite. If that was a GSD, it would be put down in many cases.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

It's the lack of training. We had a tiny poodle mix for 11 years and the vets were amazed how wel behaved he was.


----------



## Galathiel (Nov 30, 2012)

A lot of aggression in small dogs leads back to fear. Yes, sometimes some people don't require as much from little dogs, but many times little dogs are afraid of getting hurt as well.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I think little dogs don't know that they are little but their fear responses originate from bad experiences as they are likely to get hurt when they interact with bigger ones. When a large dog has been hurt it can show the same fear aggression. But I am sure genetics play a role like it does with all creatures. And let's not forget that many little dogs are carried and react from the safety of arms or purses.


----------



## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

Our neighbors have a wonderful Chihuahua. i love that dog. He is very smart, very quiet. He’ll lay down on the house steps or on the lawn and watch the street, off leash, no fence. He’s like a big dog. He ignores other dogs and people. My dogs, past and current, have a big respect for him and do not step on his lawn or bug him in any way. He does the same. 

The world needs more Chihuahuas like that.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

wolfy dog said:


> It's the lack of training. We had a tiny poodle mix for 11 years and the vets were amazed how wel behaved he was.


Actually, poodles are often the exception. People seem to train them more, even if just for tricks. And working Standard Poodles are awesome.


----------



## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

WNGD said:


> Help me understand the bolded. Why are so many small dogs (often Chis) aggressive and seemingly untrainable? Is it because owners don't think it's necessary or because they don't train easily?


I admit I only have experience with 1 Chihuahua, but IMHO it's a lack of training pure and simple. The Chi I had came from a shelter and obviously had no training at all. His goto response whenever you said anything to him was to adopt a defensive posture along a wall and wait for the inevitable attack from the human. He was confused and defensive and would nip at you if you went to pick him up. Flash forward 3 months and viola, a well behaved dog that I had the pleasure of travelling half way across the country with multiple times. No leash required. Here's a short video:









Chihuahua front


Come to front




youtube.com


----------



## doubleroll (Jul 5, 2011)

Picture is worth a thousand words…the muzzle is to protect the big dog


----------



## Walter1980 (Aug 11, 2021)

GSD07 said:


> The dog will be spending so much time outside of home that I would not be surprised he bonds to your in laws and ends up being their dog, male or female. A GSD is not really a dog to be dropped off and picked up after work.


We live in the same development as our in laws, it's roughly 50 yards. I wasn't asking who they would bond to, I was asking which would be better around children. Our last dog, which was a different breed but still a highly driven working dog did great. He looked forward to seeing everyone in the morning, and looked forward to coming home at night. When the weather was nice I walked him over in the morning and the same for after work. Wasn't an issue then, and I don't see one now.


----------



## Walter1980 (Aug 11, 2021)

BigOzzy2018 said:


> Not only that but how and when will the much needed training a pup required will be done.
> Does not sound like a good situation.


Like I said before, it would be a true family dog. We're a close family and are all on the same page with training. I feel like you're being a little judgemental here. I was asking a gender question, we all want a GSD and all care about the well being of it. I grew up with them only males though, my parents currently have them. Some people have to work full time. I'm thankful my in laws are close by and willing to help out. I've talked to many breeders and filled out many applications. I've been open and comfortable about my situation and so have the breeders I've dealt with.


----------



## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

Walter1980 said:


> Like I said before, it would be a true family dog. We're a close family and are all on the same page with training. I feel like you're being a little judgemental here. I was asking a gender question, we all want a GSD and all care about the well being of it. I grew up with them only males though, my parents currently have them. Some people have to work full time. I'm thankful my in laws are close by and willing to help out. I've talked to many breeders and filled out many applications. I've been open and comfortable about my situation and so have the breeders I've dealt with.


I think it will be fine as long as you have consistent training and handling when the dog is home. We often left our dogs with friends when we went on vacation. They are nice people with a huge property and lots of dogs, but very poor dog trainers. Our dogs came home, got back into the routine and it was not a big deal. We always had a houseful of children, all of whom handled the German Shepherd who was quite agreeable to it. Again, it never affected the training. You have to do what makes sense for your own family and make it work. You also must spend the time to get a good match for your family and situation.


----------



## Petra's Dad (Jan 6, 2020)

I think both are great for families. I have both male and female currently and they are both concerned with family matters. The males and females do seem a little different, but both still great in their own way.


----------



## BigBlueMom (Sep 1, 2021)

Walter1980 said:


> I have been told by two different breeders that females are a better choice for a family with children. Initially, I took it with a grain of salt because both breeders only had females left in their current litters, but the breeder we are going with is reputable and knowledgeable and has been very helpful. The way she explained it is that males tend to stick with one person where a female tends to spread the love a little more. My wife has been a little stubborn on sticking to wanting a male, only because she has had male dogs (non shepherds) her entire life. This pup would not only be around my son but my young nieces and nephews as well. Any experiences and insights would be helpful.


We have a 1 year old male GSD and a 2 and half year old wild toddler. He has never raised a hair from the things she has done. I think it’s all about personality.


----------



## louisebarron (Oct 23, 2010)

Walter1980 said:


> I have been told by two different breeders that females are a better choice for a family with children. Initially, I took it with a grain of salt because both breeders only had females left in their current litters, but the breeder we are going with is reputable and knowledgeable and has been very helpful. The way she explained it is that males tend to stick with one person where a female tends to spread the love a little more. My wife has been a little stubborn on sticking to wanting a male, only because she has had male dogs (non shepherds) her entire life. This pup would not only be around my son but my young nieces and nephews as well. Any experiences and insights would be helpful.


This won't help. I do believe it depends on the character of the dog. I've had both male and female GSD.


----------



## mpack (Aug 21, 2021)

I can't speak about a female as I have only had males over my now many years. One thing I can tell you is that nobody was going to lay an aggressive finger on me or anyone in my family. My Shepherds have always been level headed or even aloof so think what you want. The breed itself is known for its protectiveness so male, female you can't lose. We do have a small cross as well and everyone in the family knows that my wife is the only one she cares about. Lol


----------



## Beau's Mom (Nov 9, 2017)

It is so individual. I’ve had a female GSD who was incredible with babies and toddlers, just so gentle and infinitely patient and tolerant. But kids much past the age of 6 or 7 were treated almost like peers, fair game for rough house play or stealing their ice cream. My current guy likes kids but he’s so obstreperous around them that he can scare very small children - he’s big and noisy and not very careful. Bigger kids who like dogs are fine with him, and he with them, if he knows them. Not so much if he doesn’t. One of his litter mates is a much calmer male who is awesomely gentle with babies and small children, I’ve seen videos of him with his person’s grandbaby that bring tears, he is so sweetly nurturing and protective of her. He and my Beau are both intact males, they’re from the same litter, but they’re so very different in how they interact with kids.


----------



## Baileyshuman (Apr 26, 2021)

My family have only have male dogs, a chow chow and Bailey, our GSD. Both completely different breeds, one wants to be in a forest in the middle of nowhere and the other wants to be on the couch, but they’re both amazing family dogs. If you find a good breeder, and do a LOT of working, training and playing {loads of work}, I don’t see why gender would make a huge difference.

We got Bailey because one of our old neighbours had a female GSD when I was younger, and I fell in love with her. She was a great dog, all the neighbourhood kids would play with her - she’d never jump up or bite or lick {the licking is a big one for me as I’m allergic lol}.


----------



## wolfstraum (May 2, 2003)

In my experience, there are usually more female pups than males in a litter....maybe 4 of 20 litters I had more males. 

I know my lines. It seems that my dogs like children....dogs who were not raised around them still would gravitate to them and seek attention.....Csabre would zero in on any child she saw and give me the doggy finger as she relished their attention. My males also like children - and have been great with them...but not in the same way or intensity of the females. I have placed quite a few pups with families where the man of the family is federal LE....they travel a great deal and want stable, social but protective dogs, all of which get professional training help with colleagues in the same service. The first one of this group got a K female, took Basha when I was hurt, got an M litter male and now an S litter female. They recently had a new baby, as well as one born 10 days after the S litter. Sabre is glued to the toddler, the male likes her and is very good, but does not seek her out the same way. 

I would strongly suggest a female over a male based on my own experience with placing pups....not that the male will not love the children - but the female should be even more bonded...............

HOWEVER - alot depends on pedigree and type - and there are certain lines I would NOT recommend....I think I saw the OP mention either "red and black, or black" pups in the litter - so I am assuming a show line litter with the Russian lines mixed in to get the blacks.....

Lee


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Beau's Mom said:


> It is so individual. I’ve had a female GSD who was incredible with babies and toddlers, just so gentle and infinitely patient and tolerant. But kids much past the age of 6 or 7 were treated almost like peers, fair game for rough house play or stealing their ice cream. My current guy likes kids but he’s so obstreperous around them that he can scare very small children - he’s big and noisy and not very careful. Bigger kids who like dogs are fine with him, and he with them, if he knows them. Not so much if he doesn’t. One of his litter mates is a much calmer male who is awesomely gentle with babies and small children, I’ve seen videos of him with his person’s grandbaby that bring tears, he is so sweetly nurturing and protective of her. He and my Beau are both intact males, they’re from the same litter, but they’re so very different in how they interact with kids.


And it's not just males vs females. I have 2 males currently, one of whim is exactly like the female you quote above, loves my granddaughter (1 year old) and actively seeks her out for the attention/abuse. The other male is great with her but would just as soon get up and find another place to lie but nuts about my kids who he's only known as adolescents


----------

