# Two Years Gone, Two Eternities Endured



## dogdad (Nov 24, 2013)

I used to visit this GSD site a lot to learn about training with our Phoenix and about the GSD dog in general. However, I'd make it a point to stay away from this particular forum because I knew how much it would hurt one day. Well, it was 2 years ago yesterday that he left us, and there really isn't any words to describe how much it still hurts. 

His favorite people-food (the only thing he'd get and as a super-treat, lest someone chastise me for it) was a french-fry or two when we'd go to a local dog-friendly restaurant and he'd behave well. We did that last year and again last nite and had a basket of them in his memory. 

I hear it gets better as time goes on. I'm still waiting.

Thanks for being here and listening/understanding.


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## The Wild Bunch (Jun 17, 2015)

Welcome and so sorry for your loss. My dogs each have a guilty pleasure or two. :blush::blush: Cool  that you had a basket of fries in his memory. Those are the memories that help to make it just a *tiny *bit easier. 

Do you have any pics of your best buddy? (unless it is still difficult to look at them of course) We love pics around here. 

Are you thinking of getting a new friend? I know it seems like you can never replace your heart dog, but the company really helps.


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## Debanneball (Aug 28, 2014)

Dogdad, yes, it does get easier..in time..or so they say..still waiting here! Seems that when they leave us, they take away a piece of our heart, and thats what hurts. Cherish the memories


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## newlie (Feb 12, 2013)

I have a partial wall in my house that has pictures of my Max and a plaster three dimensional cast of a yellow lab with his name and date of death on it, a poem I wrote for him, plus lot of of other pictures, a clip of his fur, an inkblot of is paw, all his toys, a few videos and, of course, his ashes. It's been close to three years now since I lost him and all these things have helped, but I still choke up when I think about him too much. The thing that helped the most, though, is when I got Newlie, my German Shepherd. Trust me, we do understand your grief, I hope it gets a little easier for you over time.


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss of Phoenix


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss. The ache of losing a heartdog doesn't ever really heal--it's the price for having the special blessing of a heartdog (which many dog owners never really experience). I still cry when I pick up a special toy, or am reminded of some special memory. Mine died two years ago.

For me, fostering helped remind me that there will be another dog. There's no commitment to keep a foster dog. Foster volunteers are just temporary bridges to a happy future with some other family. You enjoy them and then send them on. Not having to commit to any one of them helped me make space on my own terms to the next one....and I knew when he came along.

The next one won't be the same dog, but it will be a new dog and a new relationship with new, different joy.  It took me a while to find the one who would be that dog's replacement, but I found him with help of loving rescue friends who know me well. The first few months were challenging because we all tend to hear that dreaded whisper in our heads that says "I don't love this new one as much as the one that died" or "he's not like the other one." In time, though, you realize you love the new dog _differently._ You'll love it just as much, but with a different love for a different dog. 

I think allowing yourself to start a new relationship is part of recovering from the grief. I've bonded closely to the new dog, and I adore him -- he's not the old one, and that's okay. He fills the gaping hole in my heart with a new love that will grow over many years together, and that's as it should be.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

I'm sorry Phoenix is not still with you, but I am so glad that she and you had those years together. 

The pain of loss is the price for the joy of sharing their lives. I remind myself of that when I loose one. 

Every dog has brought me something new. Every dog has left me better than when I met them.

There's a dog out there now that would be perfect for you.


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## The Wild Bunch (Jun 17, 2015)

Magwart said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. The ache of losing a heartdog doesn't ever really heal--it's the price for having the special blessing of a heartdog (which many dog owners never really experience). I still cry when I pick up a special toy, or am reminded of some special memory. Mine died two years ago.
> 
> For me, fostering helped remind me that there will be another dog. There's no commitment to keep a foster dog. Foster volunteers are just temporary bridges to a happy future with some other family. You enjoy them and then send them on. Not having to commit to any one of them helped me make space on my own terms to the next one....and I knew when he came along.
> 
> ...


Very well put...as always. Tears welling up.


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## dogdad (Nov 24, 2013)

Thanks all, it helps to share. And yes, we did find someone to help fill the chasm... Spirit has been with us for over a year now (her pic is in one of my posts in the 'newbie' section). I'm gonna dread that day too.


It's usually too personal to tell, but I wanted to share this story and painting of Phoenix here... 

We have been full-time rv'ing for several years, and had stopped at a small campground for several days somewhere out west. While walking one evening, this young boy - who couldn't have been more than 14-15 years old - came up to us with his camera and said we had a beautiful dog and could he take his picture. Well sure, we're always happy to show him off. And we thought that was the end of it.

The next evening, the boy came to our rv and asked if we wanted to see what he'd done. When we saw the painting, we couldn't believe it! In such a short time, he brought out the vibrancy, the majesty, and all those other big words to describe perfection. My wife said Phoenix would 'scan' into your soul with his eyes, and that comes out superbly here.

He didn't want any money for the painting, just wanted to do it for us, but we sorta 'forced' him to take all of the cash we had on us at the time (which wasn't much).

The next day, I went looking for him to try and give him some more money, or at least reiterate our gratitude to him and his parents for what he did. 

Never did see him again.


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## Debanneball (Aug 28, 2014)

Georgeous!!!!!!!


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## newlie (Feb 12, 2013)

Wonderful story and beautiful painting!


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## pyratemom (Jan 10, 2011)

Beautiful painting. That kid has some serious talent. I hope he continues to paint and draw. Who knows one day he may be famous. Of course he had a handsome model to paint from.


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## Moriah (May 20, 2014)

Wow! What a great story and what a beautiful boy. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Phoenix with us.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

What a wonderful story. I sometimes think those sorts of encounters are visits from an angel that stopped by to give you a gift that would someday provide solace for a future grief, and then vanished.


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