# My Lulu is gone... still can't believe it...



## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

:crying: About a month ago it happened... She was totally fine one minute, the next she was very lethargic and threw up. She has always had a sensitive tummy so I assumed it was something she ate or got into. It progressively got worse... Within an hour she was stumbling and would not put her ears up which was my sign to rush her to the emergency vet. They took her right in and did an ultrasound, there was fluid (blood) accumulating around her heart, Pericardial Effusion. They drained it and said she might be okay if it didn't come back right away. It did. I had my sister, who is a surgeon, talk to the doctors and they all agreed the best thing to do would be to not let her suffer. We could spend thousands in surgery to give her maybe another few months but her quality of life would not be great. A few hours later I was holding her paw, and whispering in her ear as she closed her eyes for the last time. I thanked her for her love, friendship and devotion for all those years and for always loving me even when I might not have deserved it. She is gone. I still cry every day, I have a pendant with some of her remains in it around my neck and her ashes in a simple box with a plaque with her name on it. "Lulu". I will see her again across the rainbow bridge, I know I will...0

As you can see from my post count I used to post here avidly and then I just sort of got away from it. But everyone here had helped me so much with so many things and helped me be such a better GSD companion, and I am truly very grateful. I may find another GSD to walk with eventually, when my heart heals a bit more. 

Thanks for listening.


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## wolfstraum (May 2, 2003)

so very sorry for your loss.....they really leave a hole in your heart


<<<<hugs>>>>

Lee


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Take time, heal! This, I know from personal experience, is incredibly hard. RIP Lulu! Mom, give yourself time to heal, all the best to you!


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## RuthArt (Oct 25, 2017)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Lulu, it's a very tragic thing to lose a love like that.


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

How they enrich our lives... how they touch us and have such a huge hold on us until the day we also leave this world... no words. I have never known a soul like my Lulu with that capacity for love. The pain is overwhelming without her laying with her head on the end of the couch staring at me not wanting to sleep so she could keep staring with her ears up.... but I wouldn't trade one moment with her, pain and all. Thank you for your kind words.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I'm sorry. It hurts so badly because owning her/having her as a companion was so very good. We just can't have it any other way. These critters become a part of who we are, and losing them rips us open. 

But, their passing, as hard as it is, is not so bad that it counters the years of unconditional love that we experienced from our dogs. That truly is sad, when folks cannot bear the parting to the extent that they never share their love with another critter. 

Some of us need to have a break before "replacing" our dog. No, there is never any way to replace our dog, and that break helps up to separate the new dog from the old dog, helps us allow the new dog to be his own person so to speak. Sometimes we just need time, and that is ok, too. 

Others of us often have another dog or dogs in place before we lose one, because being without a dog is just inconceivable. The hole they leave in our home, is too great. That's ok, too. It doesn't mean we loved ours less or that our grief is less. It just is. 

When you are ready for a new critter, you will know, and then another critter will be blessed as Lola was blessed by having a person willing to recklessly open their heart to the new pup or dog. 

I lost Jenna a few weeks ago. Losing her was like losing her mother, Arwen, only different. I came home to find Arwen gone. I had to make the decision not to let Jenna suffer. There is no easy way to lose a critter. It's hard. It's painful. But there is a time-frame to this. It hurts now, but with time, we start remembering more than just the passing, we experience more than the loss and emptiness of the house. There will come a time when we still remember them daily, but rarely remember the bad parts at all.


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

Thank you so much for your wise words selzer. I do remember you. I am so very sorry for your losses as well. I do miss the energy so much but I am afraid if I get another dog I will compare him/her to Lulu and that wouldn't be fair to him/her. I can't remember one bad part with Lulu, she was perfect from day 1, she never chewed anything besides her toys and bones even when a small pup, never did any damage, housebroken in a few days, the list goes on. Oh she did get in the trash when I was at work if I left it out, hehe, I always knew she did that before I saw it when I got home because she punished herself and hid in her crate and wasn't at the door jumping about  

Thanks again for your words...


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

Comparing dogs happens but that is because we put the joys of our previous dog onto the shoulders of our newest dog. But it doesn't take long for them to shake off the expectations and create their own joys in our lives.


I am so sorry that she is gone. I am glad it wasn't a long drawn out event like I watched a friend go through. 
Here is to excellent memories.


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## Shooter (Nov 19, 2016)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweetie, Miss Lulu. My eyes are puddling just thinking of the pain you are enduring right now. Its tough and the pain measurement is the same but inverse to the love and friendship you two shared. Next time you are flooded with tears tell yourself that. It seems so wrong that their life span is so short.

Im so sorry.

Donnie


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## CometDog (Aug 22, 2017)

So very sorry  My screen name is after a Jack Russell I lost almost 10 years ago. It never gets easier. They are a genuine part of us. I have often thought after losing a dog "who am I without them?" Hugs and healing. You will know in your heart when you are ready to have another. And when you are ready, know that Lulu would want you happy <3


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## kelbonc (Aug 25, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss. They definitely take a big piece of our heart with them, but they do leave so many beautiful memories. I hope with time these memories your shared with your sweet girl help ease your broken heart. RIP Lulu.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

I remember you from many years ago, I'm so sorry. We lost two dogs in a row at 4 years old. Even though at the time we thought we'd never love another dog as much as the ones we lost, somehow we do. 

Dena was the perfect dog like your Lulu. Losing her so young was devastating. A few months later we got Halo, and we are now losing her to DM at 9-1/2.  We love her just as fiercely as we loved Dena and her loss is going to be every bit as hard. We still have Dena's half brother Keefer who will be 13 in August. He may not be with us much longer either but for now he's here and he's happy so we're going to enjoy however much time he has left. And we have a new 5 month old puppy who is already worming her way into our hearts. 

It is hard to compare a new dog to one that is gone, and some of that I think is inevitable. But each of our dogs have been such individuals that we end up loving them for what they are, and not dwelling on all the ways they're different from previous dogs that we've loved. If/when you think you might be ready for another dog I hope you don't let that concern deter you.


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

Thank you all so much for the kind words. They are deeply appreciated and very wise. It is still so hard to come home and not have my bouncy Lou waiting for me and putting her head in my lap *UGH*. I know it will take time and I am so so very sorry for all of your losses. I know all breeds of dogs are special and amazing, but GSD's, something about them... they grab your heart and never let go and have such an incredible, gentle and wise spirit. Lulu was so incredibly loving and wise and the best friend I have ever had. I know she can't be replaced but one day I am sure I will find another friend, maybe with a rescue this time. 

Cassidy's Mom, I remember you very well, and the photos next to your name! Such beauties! I am so very sorry for your losses, heartbreaking... I just can't imagine going through it over and over again... Thank you so much for your kind words!


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## dunkinboom (Mar 6, 2011)

Sorry for your loss. I also am in deep sorrow as for losing my Bently at 6 yrs 6/13/18. I.ve been thru this many years ago and I forgot how much it sucks. Just remember the good times you've had. I'm sure our pups are still watching over us. It will get easier over time, just can't say how long. My heart goes out to you and your family.
This members in this forum show incredible support.


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## sebrench (Dec 2, 2014)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have lots of friends and family around you who understand.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss of sweet girl Lulu. Losing any beloved four legged family member is hard but then there are the heart dogs. I lost mine two years ago. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care
Maggi


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## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

It has been a year, I wanted time to grieve and heal a bit before adding a new baby to our family. I will never forget my Lulu, she will always be my HEART. I went on a year waiting list to give myself some time and the day came last weekend. meet our newest family member. Tala Lili. She is already so smart and going to the door to go potty. My daughter has been amazing with her and her training. She just signed up for an account here so you will see her around!


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Congratulations! Hopefully she will help you all heal as time goes on. She's such a cuty!


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Congratulations on your new buddy. I am glad she found such a great home.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

Our next dog stands on the pedestal of happy memories from our past dog. Then they start building their own monument our of the loving goofy moments. Lovely pup.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

So happy for you with the new addition to your family. The nature of love is, you don't divide love to share it, it multiplies.


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