# Confessions of a GSD Mom



## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

I have raised my pups with many of you on this forum over the years, but have become distant the past few months. Today my situation came full circle and I feel like I need to come back and share with the people that have been my friends and amazingly supportive over the years. Please bare with me as I try to get this out, as I have only shared with a few close forum friends my situation, but didn't tell even them the entire story for shame of what I allowed to happen.


In November of last year I left my husband of 10 years. He'd cheated on me for probably the 5th time, among numerous other things, and I could not continue in the downward spiral of depression that I'd been living in. Every summer, my four children go off to spend with grandparents, of which I am very grateful. The summer prior to me leaving, I fell into another bad depression spell as I was left alone with just my husband and the dogs. My dogs make me incredibly happy in the fact that they are 100% always loving and loyal, so in my unclear state of mind and loneliness, I purchased Kaleb, my 3rd GSD. Yes, I know... What better way to cure unhappiness, than a bubbly new puppy? 


In September, shortly after the kids returned, was when I found out my husband cheated again. His rebuttal was to give me and the kids 2 weeks to get out. I had to go to his commander. It was November before I found a suitable place for me, the kids, and the dogs. We went from living in a huge house sitting on the water with private boat dock and dog run already built, to a tiny 3 bedroom home, but we had a fenced yard and no carpet, so that was great. Because I refused to try and work things out, my husband refused to provide any type support. I went to his commander again, and they told me there was nothing they could do, that I would have to wait until the divorce was final. I was struggling daily to feed four children and 3 large dogs, and my mother was doing what she could to help me get by. I battled the thought of rehoming them everyday, but by April I knew that I could not do it anymore and I made the decision to rehome Kaiya and Kaleb, and to keep Achilles. 


Kaiya went to a wonderful home with the sister of a friend at work. They'd just lost their 14 yr old boxer, their children are grown and out of the house, and she became their sole child. We keep in touch through Facebook, and she posts pictures and updates all the time. It still pains me to see her photos, but I know she is happy, spoiled, and well cared for.


Kaleb was a different situation. After trying different avenues with nothing panning out, I got desperate, and placed an ad in the local paper.  I thought he was going to a great home with a woman who had an active teenaged son who adored GSD's. She said she grew up with GSD's and when she came to the house, Kaleb immediately took to her. She asked lots of questions. We went over his commands, etc and talked for over an hour. She was going to surprise her son. My only concern was that he was going to a good home, so I only charged a $100 rehoming fee. She gave me a check, and took him home. My boys were crying their eyes out in their bedroom as he left. Kaleb was their favorite. This was a Saturday. The following day we exchanged a few more texts, she asked more questions, and I felt good about giving him to her.


We banked at the same place, so on Monday I went to deposit the check. They told me it was written on a closed account. I tried to call and text her, but she wouldn't answer or respond. I drove by the address on the check and it was no good. I gave her his papers, shot records, microchip tag/info. Everything... I had no idea where he was... I went to the DA's office and they gave me a stack of paperwork and processes to file fraudulent check charges. I didn't follow through on filing charges and just kept telling myself that maybe the rest of her story was true and that she would still take good care of him.


It has eaten me up for months. The FB page I made for my dogs has been barely visited. I returned to the forum for about a week in June, but it hurt too much to see everyone's posts about their dogs. How could I be so stupid and let him go like that. I didn't know where he was or what she did with him or if he was okay...


Last night I got a phone call from the Humane Society. The police had picked up Kaleb wandering a road somewhere far from the address she gave me, but they wouldn't tell me where. The microchip was still registered to me. I went down there first thing this morning. I told them what happened and they thought I wanted to surrender him. I told them, NO WAY, he was coming home with me!! They took me back to see him and explained that he was dog aggressive. I told them he absolutely WAS NOT! My poor boy was probably just scared and confused. When we approached the cage I saw that he was filthy and matted and looked nothing like he did when I gave him to her. He immediately started barking at us. I said, "Kaleb! HI BABY!", and pushed my hand through the wires. He smelled my hand and I swear it was like he'd been hit with a taser. He instantly buckled and started howling and crying with relief and happiness to finally see MOM again. I couldn't stop the tears.


The HS worker that was with me said, "OMG!" and started crying too. "He's like a different dog!" she said. He'd instantly turned back to my sweet pup. I wanted to hold him, but she couldn't open the cage. He was crying so badly and I could only barely touch him with my fingers. I wasn't able to bring him home because they said he had to be neutered. I had to pay a $75 fee to get him out, but it covered the neuter. It will be done in the morning, and he is coming home on Thursday. It hurt me so much to have to leave him there, but I feel so much better knowing that he is okay and coming back home with me.


I am still struggling right now, but I will do what I have to to keep him until I can find a great home with someone that will truly love and care for him. The kids will be returning from summer vacation soon and they will be beside themselves to see him again. Life gets so hard sometimes that you struggle on what is the right decision to make. It has pained me not to be able to come here and share about my situation or my dogs because of the backlash I see whenever someone talks about rehoming their dogs. I love my dogs whole heartedly, and always will, but if I cannot adequately provide for them, how can I be a good owner?? Anyways, it feels good to finally get that out. That is my confession...


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## gaia_bear (May 24, 2012)

Your story brought tears to my eyes. May your reunion be a sign of many happy things to come.


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

I am sorry you had to go through all of that  I hope everything gets better for you soon.


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

Lakl, we all have made decisions and choices, that we regret. I have made Many 

Your story will have a Happy Ending. I have so much respect for a person who makes a transparent confession. Honesty is the first step toward recovery, from any situation. You need help, right now, as we all do from time to time. And by sharing your circumstance, you're on the path to receive it now 

Tell us all about your dog, where you are, and what he needs! 




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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

:hugs: Lakl I was wondering where you were.

I'm so sorry you are going thru all this. You will come out of this stronger. How incredibly sad that your ex is so willing to hurt his children. I know you did a lot of research before buying your dogs. Will the breeder not take Kaleb back?


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

Kaleb is a sweet, sweet boy. I just want to get him home and reassess his behavior and what he may have experienced in the past few months. Just make sure he is really okay. I will give him some time to settle and readjust. Achilles will be so happy to see him.  

Things will be tight, especially with school starting, but I will just do what I have to. I already went and picked up some more food. Tomorrow I will ask the butcher at work to give me some nice raw bones. I'm sure his teeth will need them. We are in Biloxi, MS.


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

Keep us posted. It sounds like you will keep him for now, but if it turns out you do need to re-home him, we are all here to help this time around 


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

MS?! I have no idea why I thought you were in Canada!


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## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

I don't really 'know' you up here, but that was a great story and I am glad you got him back. I am sure he will be glad to be back home and maybe you will be able to keep him. It sounds like he was meant to be home with you anyway.


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## Tbarrios333 (May 31, 2009)

I'm baffled at what his commander said. I'm in the military as well and I'm almost certain he could do more for you. That's ridiculous.
I'm sorry you're going through this!


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

OMG! I knew the beginning of this story, but not the middle and end. I am SO sorry.  It sounds like Kaiya has a great home, how horrible that it didn't work out the way you expected with Kaleb. Is there any way you can keep him?


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

So glad you were able to get him back! I hope all goes well for you.


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

I would LOVE to keep him, but at this point, the soon to be ex feels like anything he contributes financially or otherwise is just a means to help ME and not his children. So not only am I constrained financially, but I'm doing everything on my own as well. I so want to see Kaleb in a home where he can be worked in some form or activity. He is a working dog and craves the training and activity. 

It was the reason I decided to keep Achilles. Because of his hips, he has never required the amount of physical stimulation as the other two.

I will be so happy to get him home though. And just for the record, despite the struggle and exhaustion of doing all of this on my own, I am FAR happier than I was just a year ago. It has been like coming out of a deep sleep and I am thankful that I have managed to keep "most" of my family together in the process.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Hopefully once the divorce is final he'll have to pay child support, and things will be better. 

It takes a certain kind of man to be a serial cheater to a good wife, and to walk away from his responsibilities to his children. 'Nuff said! :angryfire:


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## Jack's Dad (Jun 7, 2011)

Your one of my favorites on here Lakl. I'm sorry about what has happened and I really hope there is some way you can keep him.


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

Thank you Andy.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Lakl - I totally respect you and the decisions you have made. Life isn't always easy and you did everything you could to ensure a proper home for your dogs given the hand you were dealt. 

I know it was hard to share your story and I'm so happy you have. There is so much we all can learn from your experiances. Big hugs to you. Big ole tight hugs to you!!!!


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## LARHAGE (Jul 24, 2006)

Your story made me very sad, you did the best you can and hard as it is your priorities were in order, people just suck sometimes, they present themselves a lot better than they are, I once sold a beautiful young Arabian horse and a beautiful TWH mare to a friend of my sisters, based on all my sister said of her, which unfortunately was based on what she told my sister, a year later my sister said she had left her husband and left the horses with her ex, who didn't know one end of a horse from the other. I drove to the house and the husband wasn't home, the neighbor said his son fed the horses for him as he was never home, I went in the back and found the two horses in the barn in stalls with manure to their knees, dirty filthy water and their bones sticking out where you could hang a coat on the hip bones, the hard part was they nickered to me when they saw me, despite their condition, I was so enraged I went home, got my trailer and confiscated them right than and there, I never heard from any of them, they couldn't care less, both horses are happy and healthy today and I learned a valuable lesson, I no longer just trust anyone at face value, its just a sad fact of life.


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## erfunhouse (Jun 8, 2013)

Your story is heartbreaking. I am so sorry!!! If I could help you out I would! I will say, you living off base, you are OWED his BAH. if you are legally separated, he is NOT entitled to the BAH. that is for you and your children, not his at all!!! Please PLEASE contact JAG. Sometimes commanders will only look out for their troops and screw the wives. Please talk to JAG. I dealt with something very similar, and had to get JAG involved. They were amazing!


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

^^I was raised a military brat and this is what I always thought and what my mother told me! I didn't actually talk to his commander the second time, I spoke with his MSgt. HE told me that he'd spoken to the 1st shirt and the Commander and they said there was nothing they could do. I almost felt like he was trying to protect my husband as they work closely together. He even asked me if I had family I could go to for help. I told him I just didn't understand how the military would allow one of their soldiers to NOT support their family?? I left there in tears frustrated. Maybe I didn't go high enough?? I am going to make some more calls in the morning.

It's been over 8 months since we separated. I've never even pushed an amount on him, just asked that he give me SOMETHING, anything to help me keep a roof over their heads. He has since moved into military housing, using the kids names to get a 3 bedroom home, yet has 2 of his friends living with him. One of them is also military, so he's getting full BAH as well. My kids have never even stayed there, as he will only pick them up for a couple hours at most one day on the weekends.

The only help I need is if/when the times comes that I need to place Kaleb, perhaps the forum could assist me in finding a good home since we have members all over the country, and I'm sure closer to my area. My apprehension has always been that I would like him to go with someone I can trust to take care of him and give him the life he deserves. A home like Kaiya is in where I can get updates or pics from time to time and know that he is okay and loved and well cared for.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Lakl said:


> He has since moved into military housing, using the kids names to get a 3 bedroom home, yet has 2 of his friends living with him. One of them is also military, so he's getting full BAH as well. My kids have never even stayed there, as he will only pick them up for a couple hours at most one day on the weekends.


How can he get away with that? Surely that's not how the BAH is intended to work? :thinking:


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

What he is doing is called FRAUD. Get a badass lawyer. He cheated on you, threw you out, has not supported his children. Did you have a tax refund? Who got that? Any good lawyer will nail him to the wall for child support based on these circumstances.

We'll help you with Kaleb.


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

I have a great attorney, and have paid for an uncontested agreement, but he keeps stalling and finding silly reasons not to sign. We now have to move forward with contested and my attorney has guaranteed me that he can get me backpay support among other things, but I can't afford the fees right now, so it's on hold. I know we'll be fine in the end. I just have to get us through this rough period.

@ Deb, I don't think he CAN get away with that, and I'm going to find out in the morning when I make some calls. I just messaged one of his old MSgt who I've become friends with on FB, but she is stationed in England so on a different time schedule. I'm sure she can give me some better info as well.


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## Jack's Dad (Jun 7, 2011)

Jax08 said:


> What he is doing is called FRAUD. Get a badass lawyer. He cheated on you, threw you out, has not supported his children. Did you have a tax refund? Who got that? Any good lawyer will nail him to the wall for child support based on these circumstances.
> 
> We'll help you with Kaleb.


100% agree with Jax. In the long run a good attorney will be worth it. 


Even if you have to borrow to get one started your ex will have to pay eventually when a judge hears this.

Oops missed your post Lakl.


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

Girl, lemme at him. 

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

If anyone can cook up a scheme to get get Kaleb from Biloxi to Asheville, Nc I'm all over it. My truck worries me on long trips. 

Just looked into a rental VERY do-able. Lakl, PM me if you are interested.


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

Thank you, Brembo, I am going to get him home first and give him some time to settle. I don't know what he's been through and what his temperament is like right now. He may need some work. I will definitely keep you in mind and I very much appreciate the offer!


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

**UPDATE**

Kaleb is home!! 

The initial meet and greet with Achilles was rough! Achilles immediately went into the male dominance role and the two went at it as Kaleb is not a small pup anymore. They tussled for a few seconds, but nothing serious and I got it under control. Kaleb submitted and let Achilles take the Alpha male role and now they are both laying on either side of me as I type this. Achilles is still intact and I saw this becoming an issue as Kaleb grew and Achilles kept feeling the need to establish his role as head of the pack.

But now for the UNBELIEVABLE! :wild::wild:

I talked to the woman that has Kaiya and told her what happened with Kaleb. She met him when she came to get Kaiya. As I was driving back with Kaleb, she messaged me on FB. She said she told her husband everything that happened with Kaleb and now they want to adopt him as well!! I can't believe it! Lol. Kaiya was always my baby, so when they adopted her, she immediately took to the wife. Her husband said he would love to have Kaleb as his own GSD.

They are going to come visit him this evening when I get off of work. This is amazing!! He will be with Kaiya and in a fantastic home and I will get regular updates and know they are BOTH okay! *I'm so happy!!* :happyboogie:


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Great news! I'm sad that you're not able to keep him, but under the circumstances this sounds like the best case scenario for all involved.


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## kiya (May 3, 2010)

Be strong, believe in yourself. Everything will work out for you and you dogs.


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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

Lakl said:


> **UPDATE**
> 
> Kaleb is home!!
> 
> ...


Awesome. This was worrying me.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

That is great news! So happy it is working out so well!


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

He and Achilles are not getting on well at all, so this could not have happened at a better time. Achilles is constantly feeling the need to display his dominance and I am constantly having to separate the two. It wasn't an issue when Kaleb was younger, but in the months before I rehomed him, Achilles was starting to show this behavior more frequently. Now that Kaleb is as big as he is, he is not as willing to back down like he was before. They are constantly challenging each other, especially when it comes to who's going to be closer to me. Both are very mindful of me and will back off with a voice correction, but I've never dealt with this before as I've always had females. It's like a constant test of who has the most testosterone!


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Crate Kaleb. He should be crated anyway because of the neutering. Rotate them out so you can give Kaleb attention.


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## OriginalWacky (Dec 21, 2011)

OHmy. I was tearing reading the story, and then they fell when I saw the update about the family wanting to adopt him as well! I'm in really rough shape (which is why I've been off the forums for a long while), but my ultimate goal is to set up a foster to help families in situations like this, or during disasters (like their house burning). It's going to take me quite a while, but I'll figure out how to get there somehow. So happy to see a happy ending to this.


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## Lakl (Jul 23, 2011)

Kaleb went to his new home this weekend. Kate (new mom) brought Kaiya with her. I was ecstatic to see my girl again. She looked healthy, happy, and CALM with her new mom, but was very happy to see me again. 

Her reunion with Kaleb went MUCH better than the reunion with Achilles. It only took a few seconds of sniffing before I guess the scent memory kicked in and they were bouncing around playing with one another. Dog Aggressive! Pshaw!! Kate's husband had to work, so he couldn't come, but she said he was super excited about getting Kaleb. He was his usual sweet baby boy self with Kate and rolled over to show some belly as soon as she started rubbing him.

I'm just thankful that he and Kaiya are together in a permanent home that will love and take care of them both. Thank you ALL for the supportive thoughts and offers of help. I couldn't have asked for a better happy ending!


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

That's great! So glad everything is turning out so well for him!


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

I'm so glad to hear that kaleb will soon have a home which will help your stress and anxiety. Praying for you to find everything you need.


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