# Stop telling me what to do with MY dog!



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Does anyone else on the planet have this problem? I have had Shadow for almost 8 years. And for all of that time I have been pounded with unwanted and un asked for advice. 
Why don't I let her run loose when I go hiking and camping? Because she runs away. It's all in your head, you just need to trust her. No I don't. She runs away. But she won't leave you. Yes she will because she hunts. It's all in your head. NO IT ISN'T!
Why do you coax her to eat. Because she is too thin to not eat. She will eat if you just leave her to it. No she won't, I've tried. She won't starve herself. Yes she will. It's your fault she does this. No it isn't and if I don't coax her she will starve herself. She is already bordering underweight and she has waited me out until she's staggering.
You need to vaccinate. No I don't. It won't make her sick and it might help. It won't help and it did make her sick. It's your imagination. No it isn't and she's my dog.
You need to get her spayed. Three different vets have declined to put her under anesthetic, so no. She would be happier. No she wouldn't, she's fine. It prevents unwanted puppies. No it doesn't, responsible owners prevent unwanted puppies. But it would make things easier. Well I guess, because I would probably not have a dog. It's all in your head. Grrr.
She would listen better if you made her a bit afraid of you. No she wouldn't she would be busy trying to run away. She climbs walls when people on TV get angry or loud. What do you suppose she would do if the only person she trusts raised their voice?(she listens just fine btw). It's all in your head. Really? There is an awful lot of crap in there.
You should let her play with other dogs. Dogs don't like her. She would work it out. Maybe, but I dislike vet bills, so no. My dog would teach her. Heard that one before, no. She needs a dog friend. No she doesn't, she has me. She would behave better with other dogs around. No she would be afraid and she would fight. Just turn her loose at the dog park, she will figure it out. Undoubtedly the worst idea I have ever heard. Ranks right up there with let's turn off the headlights and do 80 down a gravel road. (we all know how that ends).

You should have put her down when you found her. Maybe, but that ship has sailed and here we are. You could have bought a better dog for what you've spent on her. Nope, could have bought about 10 _other_ dogs. But I don't think they make better dogs. 


Seriously, I have these conversations almost daily, and don't even get me started on the dogs don't have allergies crap. She's my dog. She is happy, as healthy as possible and loved. She sleeps on my bed, she eats good food, she drinks clean water, she is loved and played with. I exercise her, she has been taught some manners and she wants for nothing. I have no idea why I need to hear this stuff every single day. I think an important part of being a good, responsible owner is recognizing the faults or issues that our dogs have. Some of them are fixable and some are not. Shadow has come a long way and may go further yet. But where ever we go from her is up to her and I.


----------



## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

I tried to find out where you are (besides the board...) so I would avoid the area! Or plan a visit if I felt the need for "helpful" advise. Who is it you hang out with that they don't shut up? 



I'm pretty much spared here because:
1. No dog parks
2. Few other folks walk their dogs where I walk my dogs
3. I tend to be "out and about" with dogs pretty limited (comes from living on 10 acres in an area with 5 to 10 + acre "lots." ) except for training
Now at training, I get lots of advise or no advise. Depends on the club.


----------



## Aly (May 26, 2011)

I'm SO impressed by what you and Shadow have accomplished thus far. Kudos to you both! 

I sometimes think that interacting with some (many?) humans is a lot like training errant puppies. For me, the bottomline is this: Don't want that puppy to pee in your house? Don't let them. Same with rude humans; it's all bad behavior.

Your closing sentences are more than sufficient to the task. Simply look offenders in the eye and say, "Shadow has come a long way and may go further yet. But where ever we go from here is up to her and I." 

_Then firmly and relentlessly change the subject. _

Or, just punch them in the nose. LOL. 

I vote for option A.



Aly


----------



## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

No wonder you are tired of unsolicited advice. I have been guilty of the "have you tried...." kind of advice but normally only if someone has hinted or asked for it. 

Here is some more unasked for advice. Maybe take walks wearing a t-shirt that says..."did I ask for your advice?"


----------



## Heartandsoul (Jan 5, 2012)

This:

" I think an important part of being a good, responsible owner is recognizing the faults or issues that our dogs have. Some of them are fixable and some are not. Shadow has come a long way and may go further yet. But where ever we go from her is up to her and I. "

No mater how badgered one feels at the end of the day if we can stay firm and stick to what we know is right and not waiver and hang on to that last statement than we are doing right by our dogs and ourselves.

What drives me nuts when someone is insistent is the fact that they have not walked hundreds of miles over the course of seven years, has not put in the time, energy for training healthcare and interpersonal bonding, thinks that just because what works for their dog is the standard. It blows me away.

And recently I almost picked Aly's choice #2 to help adjust a loved ones attitude after pulling a bozo move. 

For me, advise is welcomed especially if I ask. It becomes a problem when it is forced or constantly given to me if I point blank tell them to stop.

Few would have been able to do what you did that night in the barn or maybe it was a garage. Walking a mile in your particular shoes would shut them up quite quickly.

Just my 2 pennies.


----------



## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

I'm with you Sabi!I enjoy discussing and sharing stories about our dogs with people but unsolicited advice is unwelcome.


----------



## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

Everyone is ENTITLED to their own opinions...


...and they have the RIGHT to be as WRONG as they like


----------



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

I am in Calgary. Stay away! Lol.
I love Aly's option two and I am on my way to get me a t shirt.
I don't mind discussing Shadows issues. I see it as educational. I guess that's part of the issue. Since she looks pretty normal people don't think there is anything wrong. Plus I live in the last stronghold of the *******, chauvinist pigs so I tend to get the step aside little lady and let the menfolk handle it attirude.


----------



## Aly (May 26, 2011)

There is a third option, @Sabismom. You can order a t-shirt that says this:

MY DOG!

*MY *RULES!!​

Aly


----------



## gsdluvr (Jun 26, 2012)

@Sabis mom You must look very friendly!:wink2: I walk my dogs looking at no one and trying to look unapproachable, LOL! Very rarely have an issue. hahahaha

Years ago , I saw a lady with a small white dog(maltese maybe?) She carried out of her fancy car to a tree to do its business. Then held it up so that it had to hop on back legs.

So I am figuring, typical spoiled lap dog she doesn't want to get its paws dirty etc., right?? But something kept nagging at me and then I began to realize, this dog could hardly stand on its front legs. I later found out the dog had become partially paralyzed and she was managing a bad situation.

So glad I kept my mouth shut!! A good lesson!


----------



## Mei (Mar 30, 2018)

Lol, sounds like you're hanging out with my mother-in-law!


----------



## Nigel (Jul 10, 2012)

gsdluvr said:


> @Sabis mom You must look very friendly!:wink2: I walk my dogs looking at no one and trying to look unapproachable, LOL! Very rarely have an issue. hahahaha
> 
> Years ago , I saw a lady with a small white dog(maltese maybe?) She carried out of her fancy car to a tree to do its business. Then held it up so that it had to hop on back legs.
> 
> ...


We have an older couple walk past our home regularly with a yorkie in a baby stroller. First time I saw them I thought it was another pampered little dog. One day the guy asked about one of my dogs laying in my yard and during the conversation he explained his dogs situation. I don't recall the details, but I guess their dog was near death and it was a struggle to keep her alive. She recovered for the most part, but can walk only so far so periodically they put her in the stroller for a break. 

I guess that is why they say things aren't always as they seem.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

Sabis, are you making eye contact with these people? If yes, they may think you need help. I have the opposite right now. Griff looks all grown up with his 7 months to the inexperienced ones. When I am out and about with the two of them, both sables and same size currently, people avoid me like I have two monsters with me. 
On the trail, I had them on lead, lady with a Lab on leash came our direction, I tried to greet her, but she avoided eye contact. My dogs were walking calmly next to me.
Today at the river, they were playing fetch with us without minding any other dogs and at some point we were the only ones left. Could all be coincidences but still... Or it is me and not the dogs.


----------



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

wolfy dog said:


> Sabis, *are you making eye contact with these people?* If yes, they may think you need help. I have the opposite right now. Griff looks all grown up with his 7 months to the inexperienced ones. When I am out and about with the two of them, both sables and same size currently, people avoid me like I have two monsters with me.
> On the trail, I had them on lead, lady with a Lab on leash came our direction, I tried to greet her, but she avoided eye contact. My dogs were walking calmly next to me.
> Today at the river, they were playing fetch with us without minding any other dogs and at some point we were the only ones left. Could all be coincidences but still... Or it is me and not the dogs.


That's a good point. Self defense training 101, look people in the eye. Lol.
When I was much younger we were taught that people who act like victims become victims. So head up, shoulders back, be aware of your surroundings, look people in the eye. 

My security training was a lot the same, look at the people around you.


Walking a reactive dog has not dulled any of that, hyper aware of where we are and who is around, so lots of eye contact.

And the added problem that half the advice comes from people I know. I should start snarling at people, see if that solves the issue.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

In the past (choke chain era) when I gave my dog a correction (Bouvier mix and a difficult dog because I didn't know a whole lot and he was my first dog) and I got a comment. I asked 'the guy' if he wanted to borrow my dog for a week. That shut him up. Now, with all the animal "rescuers" on alert, I would not dare to say that because the dogs will be "rescued" and neutered and spayed before the week is over.


----------



## CAROLINM (Mar 30, 2018)

I am on the other side of this, I guess. I keep looking for opinions and advise. It does not meant I will follow what everyone says, but I need some stuff every once in a while. That is how I ended up here.


----------



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

CAROLINM said:


> I am on the other side of this, I guess. I keep looking for opinions and advise. It does not meant I will follow what everyone says, but I need some stuff every once in a while. That is how I ended up here.


I came here looking for advice as well. We all need help once in a while, but that does not mean we need opinions on how to care for our dogs shoved down our throats. If Shadow was abused or neglected then by all means, beat me over the head. She isn't, and I don't need misinformed idiots telling me repeatedly that I am wrong. Allergies, heart problems are not all in my head.


----------



## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

I'm not sure where you live but wow tough crowd lol. I've only been in that sort of situation a handful of times. We took our old sable to a new trainer once, as soon as we walked on the field there were a bunch of other owners dogs, etc. The trainer took one look at my mom and I with our sable and his face got really purple and he came storming over at us. We had never met the guy before but he sure wanted to give us an ear full of how he thought bandannas on german shepherds were an insult to the breed. My mom and I cracked up laughing and went to the park near by and played ball with our shep lol. Anyone that crazy I don't want anywhere near my dog!!! He looked quite stunning in his orange fall themed snoopy bandanna if I do say so myself. :tongue:

Another point of view however... my neighbors had an out of control Mal, whenever you would walk by it (with your dog or without), drive a car by it, basically anything triggered it to go completely out of control. They were constantly dropping it off for month long board and trains... they would never train the dog themselves or put in the work in a class and it would come back home even worse than the last time supposedly. I met the dog briefly and saw it had real potential to be a great dog, it just needed a better exercise outlet and a little bit of NILIF. It was very smart and willing to please. You could tell it was not truly aggressive, the owners were not reading it correctly and were afraid of its behavior. A few months ago the old lady owner was walking the Mal and it saw a cat and the leash was wrapped tight around her hand. It dragged her across the road and she had several broken bones... they "sent the dog off to board and train" and it never came back. I really regret not giving them advice... I just didn't want to be rude and they seemed like they were handling it and making small improvements at the time before the incident. I didn't care for the trainers they were sending it to from personal experience and knew they could have really used the help of our good local k9 trainer and better equipment. As much as I am PRO gentle leader for some dogs this was not the type of dog to benefit from that tool. It was way too chaotic and twisting around all the time. I wish I would have said something before they got rid of the dog.... who knows where it is now :frown2:.

I'd just shrug it off and tell them thanks no thanks... most people I think just want to help but just don't see the entire picture. Also dogs don't have allergies my  , where are they so they can pay for my raw food and pick up his diarrhea!? :rofl:


----------



## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

Well, today I took Scarlet over to the vet to get some Nexgard. The vet tech said "oh, she's so skinny!". I said no she's not, every shepherd you see is fat (I was kind of annoyed). She looked kind of shocked, and then the vet came over and said "oh look what a nice waist, and yes, all the shepherds we see are fat". FYI, Scarlet is about 24" tall and weighs 65 lbs. 

I wish I had a dollar for every time I was told my GSDs were skinny. One lady asked me when Carly was a gangly teenager, if she was wormy, lol. OMG. NOOOOOO. Seriously all the GSDs around here are as wide as a coffee table.


----------

