# Help, My GSD is afraid of me:(



## nomofish (Apr 13, 2013)

Hello all,

I am posting this for support and in the hope that someone will have some good advice. Some background first. My wife and I have an 8 month old shepherd named Mila. We got her from a reputable breeder and have socialized her extensively. She gets along well with people and tolerates other dogs. However, in some ways, she has not bonded with my wife and I the way we expected. Our previous shepherd was clearly attached to us. She was good with people but always stayed with us. Mila, if given the chance, would go off with just about anybody. This issue was present fairly early on (developmentally appropriate?) but had been getting better. Over the past 2 months, we felt more connected to her and she was more connected to us.

Fast forward to this week. We noticed that she was scratching her ears a lot so we took her to the vet. This was and has been a bit traumatizing for her but got through it fine. The vet gave us some ear drops to be administered twice a day. This is where things went south. When we put the ear drops in she became very fearful and distrusting. Four days later and she has taken to avoiding my wife and I. She stayed outside during a flashflood thunderstorm to avoid us. Today it will be over 90 and unless we force her inside, she will likely stay outside to avoid us. She now associates the leash with fear. Every time we leash her, her body language suggests she is in a fear state even if we do something normally enjoyable such as going out or for a walk. 

Regardless, this is very hard for my wife and I. It is incredibly painful to see your dog actively avoid you. Any suggestions? Links? Thank you in advance!


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

Your poor pup. I bet those ears are super sore!! It's probably painful to be treated and she is associating it with you and the leash. 

Maybe have her drag the leash around. And give her treats before and after treating her ears. 

I would not allow her to actively avoid you like that. Keep her with you. Maybe tether her to one of you in the house.


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## nomofish (Apr 13, 2013)

gsdsar said:


> Your poor pup. I bet those ears are super sore!! It's probably painful to be treated and she is associating it with you and the leash.
> 
> Maybe have her drag the leash around. And give her treats before and after treating her ears.
> 
> I would not allow her to actively avoid you like that. Keep her with you. Maybe tether her to one of you in the house.


Thank you for the reply. Why do you say not to let her actively avoid? Not that I disagree, I am just curious about the thinking. Do you think this will help desensitize her to the leash (and us) again? I had hoped she would come around on her own. One other issue, she is not too amenable to treats, even high reward. She is a quirky pup.


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## SkoobyDoo (Oct 7, 2014)

Tether her to you but don't attempt to interact with her or force yourself upon her while that's going on, so basically ignore her and she'll become less distrustful. When you see she's relaxing and stops trying to get away then you can start showering her with praise, treats, etc.

I certainly would not let her get away with getting away from you, so it's critical you leash her to you until this stuff is worked through! Don't let her be successful in avoiding you or you'll never get it under control!


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

I would not want her practicing fearful or avoidant behavior. It can too quickly morph into her personality. 

I would have her tethered Nd honestly, ignore her most of the time. I would not be cajoling, bribing, baby talking her while tethered. Just go about your life. 

Sometimes, in our desire for a certain type of dog, we pay too much attention to them. We try to force interactions, cuddling that kind of stuff. If you have a pup that is not naturally predisposed to be that way, it can be very stressful and cause you to get a dog that tries to avoid it. Your pup needs to learn that being around you does not mean forced interactions. It just means being around you. 

If she won't take treats, then make the ear treatments as non chalant as possible. Put the stuff in her ears and then move on about your day. No praise, not hugging, just do it and move on. Teach her it's just part of the day. Don't make a big deal out it. 

It's gotta be tough though. I would be heartbroken as well to see my dog avoid me. Unless I was going potty, then I would pay someone to get mine away from me. LOL. 

I would start low key rewarding acceptance. If she gives eye contact,"good girl" and move away. If she lays down next to you,"good girl" then back to what you are doing. Watch for signs of stress. Lip licking, yawning, head shaking, when you approach or interact. Those are stress signals. Pay attention to them and let her know you got it. 

I am a hugger. I love to cuddle with my dogs. My male hates it. He just wants to lay on the couch next to me undisturbed. Sometimes I will go to hug him and he will yawn or lick his lips. I stop, letting him know he can't trust that I won't keep doing something that he does not like. I have found that he is getting more accepting. I can hug him now without getting a reaction. But I am aware that he does not like it, so I have learned to interact with him in a way he loves as well. 

Sorry got a bit off topic there.


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## dmom (Jul 2, 2009)

I have had to get the dreaded drops in the ears? Normally I can play poke clean his ears all I want but I pull out that bottle and it is game on. What I did was soak some cotton balls in the solution place it in his ears an squish the solution out by manipulating/massaging his ears then remove cotton ball when I hear that squishy noise in his ear. While I do this I have a glob of peanut butter on the end of a wooden spoon that I hold in front of him and let him lick off. The drag line is a great idea that way she isn't associating the leash with the ear drops. I also continue to mess with his ears often so he doesn't associate my touching them with pain. Good luck with your girl.


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## nomofish (Apr 13, 2013)

Thank you, this makes sense. I'll work on the tether. Its weekend so we'll spend the next 2 days attached if need be.


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## nomofish (Apr 13, 2013)

Thanks, this makes sense!


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## Baillif (Jun 26, 2013)

play with your dog


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## Findlay (Jan 8, 2015)

A Basic Obedience class is a good activity to do with your dog. That would be a nice way to build a relationship in a supervised setting which will carry over to home. And, the trainer can observe you and your dog and advise you what you can do at home. 
GSDSAR"S advice of not overdoing it with attention makes so much sense. 
I'm wondering if your dog is going through another Fear period??? The people who already responded to your thread might know if that's the case.

My male pup is also 8 months and his trainer said that he will likely go thru another bratty stage around 12 months, so maybe they DO go in and out of different stages throughout their development that affect behavior.

In regard to ear drops, someone told me that you can smear P-nut butter or 
cheese wiz on the outside of your fridge and while the dog is busy licking it, drop the solution in her ears. Although your dog's not motivated by food : (

Also. The Monks of New Skeet wrote a book called, "How to be Your Dog's Best Friend." And a second book, "The Art Of Raising a Puppy" is also pretty good.
You can buy used copies cheap on Amazon.
Also. Ballif said to play with your dog. That will make a huge difference. Just having fun with your pup will help build mutual trust and bonding. Most pups love squeak toys and Kong makes Lg. squeak tennis balls. Finn's trainer said building ball drive is very important and the Kong balls is what helped my pup to learn fetch, now he's crazy about the game, he'd play all day. 
Lots of good threads on this forum...chock full of good advice.
Good luck.


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## Susan_GSD_mom (Jan 7, 2014)

dmom said:


> I also continue to mess with his ears often so he doesn't associate my touching them with pain. Good luck with your girl.


Three of my last 5 adult rescues had issues with ears. I agree with the above, but want to clarify it a bit so you definitely understand. "Messing with the ears" means gentle massages around the head and ears, massaging up the inner ear canals (located on the side of the head beneath the ears). GENTLY. When she gets used to that, add to it--GENTLY take a thumb and caress the inside of the outer ear, near the tip and the edges. Not so lightly that it feels like a tickle, but light enough that it will feel good, never painful. GENTLE. Over time, slowly extend the inner ear massage deeper. MAKE SURE you don't scratch with a finger nail. An old soft sock over the hand helps to ensure that. Do these things throughout the day a few times each day, totally apart from medicating them. I still do it, with both my dogs with healthy ears, and they like it so much they lean into it. It takes a while to reach that point, but it does make medicating them MUCH easier if/when it's ever needed.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Go back to the vet and ask for different medicine. 

Some medicines are very painful to inflamed ears. Others soothe. I have heard good things about Zymox Otic. Zymox Otic with Hydrocortisone (1.0%) - Clinic Size (8oz) 

Please, some of the drops are like pouring salt into an open wound. Doing this 2 times day for days has your pup, who may be a little fearful anyway, freaking out. She shouldn't be feeling this bad. 

You should not have to pay for another visit. Call and say the drops are hurting her really badly, and you want to try a different product. Ask what the infection was caused by and see if this other stuff works for that. I usually use animax or something like that, and getting it in there can be a trip, but the dog does not have pain from the ointment. 

Good luck.


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## graciesmom (Jun 10, 2006)

Agree with Selzer. Ask for a different medication that doesn't sting. Two other suggestions for the ears: 1) ask for a syringe so that you can upload the medication into the syringe then squirt it in the ear. This is less scary to the dog vs seeing you coming with the dreaded bottle. You also have a better chance of getting the medication right down into the ear. Then gently massage, if you can. If you can't, don't worry about it for now. 2) put the bottle of medication in a bowl of warm water first so that the medication is lukewarm. This will not affect it's effectiveness but will feel better, more soothing. No one likes to have cold liquid poured in their ears. Good luck!


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

This may not be pain related per say. Sore ears and drops of any kind is probably not comfortable nor does it feel good. Soft dogs who don't recover well from unpleasant things are a challenge to work with.
My last GSD was very simular to this of the OP ' S dog. Anything that upset him, he hung onto for life. It was a challenge. I gave him ear drops in the kitchen, he refused to come in the kitchen for 6 months. Broom fell over and scared him when he was 12 weeks old, to the day he died he snuck by any broom surely thinking it was going to do something again. The list of things to fear grew throughout his lifetime.
I agree with making it very matter of fact with NO coddling as it just reinforces their fears. I would tether to me until comfort is back.


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