# Christmas Angel Lucy...I love you, miss you



## lucymom (Jan 2, 2009)

Dearest Lucy,

A year ago this morning, I was celebrating the end of your chemotherapy two days
prior and CLEAN ultrasounds! No hemagiosarcoma tumors! I knew that it could come
back any time, but I wanted you to see spring again and play in the ocean.

You were my brave princess through your treatment, and came out of chemo wanting
to go play, even though your shaved belly made you cold.

Christmas evening, you had a fatal bleed. I HATE that we couldn't end things on
our terms. I thought we had time, I thought we had beaten it back. But you spent
your last hours in a hospital, and I saw them wheeling you away as you strained
to get up and come back to me. That image haunts me. I begged to be allowed back
with you.

When I saw you next, you were so, so tired. I held you and sang to you in a
darkened room, I tried to be strong, as you were, if you knew I was upset, you'd
be worried about me.

I knew it was time and the doctor came in and helped you go. A part of my soul
went with you, it felt ripped from me. Your big fuzzy brother Aik came in and
laid next to you after you left. He has not been the same, you were his wife.

I didn't want to leave you, but it was almost midnight and your soul was running
free.

Lucy, I've had other dogs, I've loved and do love them all. But YOU, you little
girl, you were something else. My soulmate, my heart, my comfort, my child, my
protector. My shining light in a hard world. A constant in a world of doubt.

You were MY girl. I've never met a dog who was polite to everyone else, but
Mamma was your world. I was not worthy, but you made me feel as though I was.

The answers to all that was important could always be found in your wise dark
eyes.

You always knew the way home when we were walking the trails. Always, even if we
took a new direction.

You always knew if a person was a good person or not, and you tried to tell me
not to let a couple of them in to our lives. You were always right.

You couldn't stand to have me swim in the ocean, you knew it was more risky than
the lake, so you swallowed your own fear and I'd find you swimming beside me,
urging me to come in.

You made up jokes, great, wonderful jokes between us, and us alone. They were
our secret. To the rest of the world, you were stoic and independent. With just
the two of us, you were silly and vulnerable.

YOu had the most dignity of any dog I've ever known. And BODY I've ever known.

You survived, at age 2, an serious illness that nearly killed you. It killed
every other dog who'd ever had it and you went in to the medical books. The vet
said it was your iron will, and our connection, as I held you night after night
willing our souls to entwine so I could keep yours with mine.

8 years later I knew, a week before anything happened, that you were going to
leave me. I don't know how, but I did.

8 years later and 200 miles away, that same vet who saved you was suddenly
seized with thoughts of you, who she'd not seen in years. I called her to let
her know you were sick, she said she'd felt you from across the years and miles
and was not surprised to hear from me. She was part of that connection made so
many years ago.

Others commented, as they walked by us, that our connection was palpable. THere
would be your brother Aik, all goofy and waggy and kissy, you'd be sitting to
the side, dignified. Yet people who could feel these things stopped in their
tracks, pointed at YOU and said "she loves you so much."

When Dad died in April, I knew his troubled soul would be safe with you, and
that you went first to help him get to the right place. You always knew the way
home.....

God took you on His birthday for a reason, you were needed to do special work.

I try Lucy, I try every day to be worthy of your love. I've tried to live my
life in a way that honors you. I don't always succeed, but I'm not giving up
because YOU never gave up. Not on me, not on love and not on Life.



Lucy my love, run free and watch over us and our loved ones, and our friends
here. Please don't hog all the tennis balls, there are plenty to go around.

We shall be together again Lucy, I know you will find me.

All my love,

Mamma Jennifer




































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## BJDimock (Sep 14, 2008)

You were in our prayers this morning Jen.
All our love
The Dimock pack


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## Kurys Mom (Oct 11, 2008)

hugs for you. Lucy was an Angel for sure.

I'm so very sorry for your loss last year.


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## littledmc17 (Apr 9, 2008)

OMG Jen I can't stop crying
I never met her but I feel Like I know
Her! 
She is running around free and watching over you everyday!
She is an Angel and will be waiting for you!


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## poohbearsdad (Mar 24, 2008)

Jen

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you. Lucy sounds like she was such an awesome companion. I myself am only a couple of weeks away from the anniversary date when my Poohbear was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. Take care.

George, Chloe, and angel Poohbear


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## Amaruq (Aug 29, 2001)




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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

*heavy sigh*, oh jennifer. i didn't know it was today. you write so beautifully. i hope it helps, if anything ever can. take good care, many blessings and all good wishes from our house to your's.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Jen, what a beautiful tribute to your magickal guardian angel. She will, I believem be watching and waiting for you. Such a special soul. I believe that she is never far from you. Thank you for sharing her! Many warm thoughts for you today as you remember her.


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## Raziel (Sep 29, 2009)

Oh my, Im in tears.
Im sorry about your wonderful dog.

She is watching over you.


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

Your tribute was beautiful and heard, I am sure, at Rainbow Bridge by all. Bless you and Bless Lucy.


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## lucymom (Jan 2, 2009)

Thank you, this is one of the few places it feels safe to speak of having loved and lost a dog so much. Too many people don't get it, even if they have dogs. I think many of us have been gifted with a heart dog and we are never quite the same when they go. But they leave us better people for having had them.

I took a portion of her ashes tonight and went to the church garden where she loved to sit with me at the end of a long walk. I'd pray, she'd close her eyes and just...be with me. Sturdy shrub roses grow there, even in the fall as Lucy was sick, and the wind and frost...the little roses always perservered. Just like her. Not the fanciest roses, but sweet and strong.

At the base of the statue (not pushing religion here, but it is of the Blessed Mother) I mixed some of her ashes in the soil by a rosebush. One bloom, dried but perfectly formed, sat on the bush, among the snow. 

I've spent a year being mad at God for taking her too soon. But tonight...I gave what I could of her and thanked Him for having sent her to me. She is where she needs to be and I can accept that now. It's hard, and I miss her desperately, it is very lonely without my strong girl. But she is even stronger now and with me in a different way.

I feel a peace tonight and am home, warm and laughing with little Zuzu, who comes from Lucy's breeder, and my dear old friend Aik, who has been my stalward furry rock of support.

Thank you all, from my heart and hers.


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## Crabtree (Jan 6, 2006)

I couldn't help but cry when I read that. What a beautiful tribute to your girl.
She will be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.
I'm so sorry Christmas has such a sad memory for you.


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## Kurys Mom (Oct 11, 2008)

I've read both posts of yours today, and they touched me deeply. All I could think of while reading was, that Lucy girl, she has taught you much buy sharing her life, love and heart with you. She is still with you in spirit too.

I do not know you personally, but in order to write what you have and share her with everyone, speaks volumes of who you are as a person and how she has etched your heart and life.

Thank you for sharing her, your story has helped me in my own journey and touched me. Bless you and Merry Christmas. And dear Lucy wherever you are, bless your heart too, you were a wonderful Angel to your Mom.


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## Katerlena (May 30, 2008)

Thank you for sharing that beautiful tribute of your beautiful heart girl Lucy. I have had dogs for years but really never heard the term heart dog before being on this forum. I don't think I could fully explain what a heart dog is to someone but I think if they read your posts they would immediately understand the true meaning of the expression.

This must have been a very difficult year first losing your heart dog and then your dad. Now they are together watching over you and helping you to feel strong and at peace this Christmas.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

Ooh boy, I've got to go to work now and I'm going to have red eyes.

That was beatifully written and very touching and moving to read. I also remember from last year....









Hugs to you Jennifer.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

Oh my goodnesss, it has been a year.























What a beautiful tribute to your heart dog, gone too soon.


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

That was a soul moving, beautiful, heartfelt tribute. Thank you for sharing that with us. 

You and Lucy are in my heart and thoughts.


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## caview (Jun 30, 2008)

Your story touched me to the core! 

What a beautiful gift you've been given in her!!

What a way for God to show His love for you and share a glimpse of the future!

Bless you in your great loss!

Tanya


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl.


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## Debbieg (Jun 7, 2009)

am in tears too. Such a beautiful tribute. I know Lucy is close and watching over you. It was a grace that you were given such a consolation .
The love these heart dogs give us and the love they bring forth in us is does not end at death. It is merely strengthened and transformed until we are reunited.

It is hard for me too, when my family and others do not understand the bond I have with my dogs, and how it effects all my decisions, feelings. They really yell at me sometimes. It is nice to have a group like this that feel the same way.


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## SunCzarina (Nov 24, 2000)

Jen

Beautiful Lucy, so lovely on the beach and strong in spirit. She'll walk with you always


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## DancingCavy (Feb 19, 2001)

I teared up pretty badly reading this post. I'm sorry about Lucy. She sounds like she was an amazing dog who can never be replaced. I'm sorry you had to lose her on such an otherwise happy day.

R.I.P. sweet Lucy.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

What a moving, beautiful trubute to Lucy. I think of her often, when I think of BoBo. Lucy in some way paved the way for us. 
This holiday season brought back memories of the wonderful dogs that we lost this year.

I hope Lucy is playing with BoBo and Mickey and Orion while they are waiting for us. They made our lives rich and full of joy.

Run free Lucy and hugs to you Jennifer.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

all these dogs have indeed made our lives "rich and full of joy". what beautiful words rebel.


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## LisaT (Feb 7, 2005)




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## SuzyE (Apr 22, 2005)

I know exactly how you feel, I'm sorry.


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## lucymom (Jan 2, 2009)

Thank you Rebel, I feel a kinship for Bobo as well. Lucy is probably teasing him at this moment, she was such a flirt and he's a handsome boy.

Thank you everyone, for making a safe place in which to express love for our pups who have gone before us.


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## shilohsmom (Jul 14, 2003)

I am so sorry I missed this post before...I am so very sorry for your loss. As I read your words I couldn't help but to think this is the way I would feel if anything were to happen to my little girl. 

I hope you find comfort in the memories you shared with this special girl. 

Hugs,


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