# Puppy barks at my scared 4 yr old son!



## JasonandUs (Oct 17, 2011)

We have 3 kids (8, 6, and 4 years old.) The older kids have been begging for a puppy for a while and last weekend my husband caved in. He got a white german shepherd from our neighbor and he is 15 weeks old. The problem....our 4 year old son is terrrified of dogs since he got nipped by one last year. We thought getting one of our own would help him 'get over' his fear, but puppy has made it worse!! Jason (the puppy) barks aggressively at our son almost every time he sees him. Son won't even go near him and doesn't want to leave his room if Jason is in the house and not in his crate. What do I do? I tried getting son to feed puppy treats but he kind of throws them at him and runs away. I feel like I'm torturing him by making him be around the puppy. ;-( Any ideas?? Thanks!


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## BR870 (May 15, 2011)

Wow... Tough situation. As mentioned in another thread, dogs pick up on the body language and pheromones of fear. It puts them on edge.

Its bad for both your son and puppy to be in this situation. The puppy is having bad behaviors develop and may end up having trouble with children later, and your son should not have to live in fear.

Look, I say this as a father and GSD lover, and I don't say this lightly... You may need to rehome and try a smaller less threatening breed to help your son get over it. I usually loathe recommending rehoming, but this is a situation where it is warranted. JMHO...


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Don't push the puppy on your son. Respect his problem and give him plenty of time and space. The puppy is your idea, not his. A 15 week old puppy may not have been the best idea with 3 young children if you are not accustomed to raising GSDs. They demand a lot of time, attention, training and patience. You may want to rethink your decision to get a puppy. If your husband 'caved in' it suggests he is not totally behind it. A big decision like that should have been fully supported by the entire family. And raising the puppy is both your and your husband's equal responsibility.


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## Gmthrust (Mar 3, 2010)

First and foremost: the children need to be taught to respect Jason. Yes, all three of your children----not just the one who is four years old and scared. Especially since your pup is just a baby himself and you've had him for only a week. That means NO throwing anything AT HIM and then running away.....because doing those things at this point is just begging a tragedy to happen. Work on calm training right away with all four; example, see who can be the quietest....and other peaceful games. Just at first here for a while......you won't have to do it for the rest of their lives or anything that ridiculous, but do it till things are under your control.

The next thing you'll need to accomplish is teaching Jason the down position....it's okay to lure at first. Then everytime the four years old child pokes his head out to take a peek at the puppy........REWARD JASON and put him in the down position.....reward again. You can use his kibble for that purpose. Pretty soon your child will see that you have the puppy under control......and Jason will begin to automatically associate the four years old child in a positive manner as opposed to barking at the child.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

If your son is afraid after being nipped last year, bringing an active puppy into the house was probably not the best idea due to a lack of manners. Puppies, especially GSD puppies require a great deal of work and having just one child in the house who is nervous of fearful will not be making training or socialization easy, especially with a puppy who grows faster than your child. 

It sounds like this is your first GSD so props on trying with a puppy! They're a tough lot to handle sometimes. Did you and your husband consider going through a GSD rescue? I would heavily suggest this for the future as dogs in rescues are taken care of in foster homes so the foster gets to know the dog and the dogs personality. This is extremely beneficial because you can contact a rescue, let them know that you are looking for a german shepherd who is proven good with kids and they can usually pick a couple of dogs they feel would be a good match for your situation. Please keep in mind however, that some rescues have limitations for safety reasons that they won't adopt out of a certain area range and may or may not adopt to families with children under 10 years old. This is not because of a fear of the dog going after the child but more of a fear of the dog getting excited and knocking a child over accidently and the parents freaking out and blaming the dog screaming about it being aggressive when truth is, there was no aggression, just an excited dog who forgot his manners for a moment. 

There are also programs you can look into that might be beneficial in helping your youngest get over his fear of dogs. I would HEAVILY advise getting your puppy into a basic puppy class. This is a great place for your puppy to start learning to work with distractions and learn manners which you can positively reinforce at home. Have your puppy begin dragging a leash around the house so you can easily grab him or stop him. This will also allow you to give a leash correction when he begins barking. 

You need to get your puppy to associate your youngest with treats and fun and good things. When your youngest (when you can convince him to be around puppy) and puppy is quiet even for a second, give him a treat. This will help your puppy learn that barking at your youngest is not acceptable and that when he is quiet and calm, ONLY when your youngest is around, he gets treats so he learns to associate good things with your youngest. 

Have your youngest play a game by tossing treats to your puppy. Have your youngest sit on the couch with you and your husband or your 8 year old sit on the floor, holding the leash so puppy cant lunge excitedly at the source of the treats. When your youngest tosses a treat say YAY!!!! excited and happy like so HE associates the puppy with fun as well. this is also a great way to teach your puppy to listen to your 4 year old. 

Also you and your husband should continually be working with puppy not only on his manners but also on being gentle when taking treats. This will help later when you can coax your 4 year old to allow the puppy to take a treat directly from his hand. Again, the only way THIS will work, if puppy reliably learns that "gentle" or "nice" means he licks instead of bites for the treat. There are several videos on youtube you can look up to help you get ideas on exactly how to train a puppy to take treats gently. I'll see what i can find and share them here. 

Get your kids involved in helping with puppies care. Feeding times, you can supervise and allow your kids to put the bowl down and release puppy. By release puppy, puppy should be learned to wait until his food is down and you or your children say "okay" or "free" before he dives in. 

Also read the puppy section. There is a bite inhibition thread that would also help to read. I hope you are willing to take on the training and encouragement of both your youngest to not be fearful as well as teaching your puppy how to behave. Remember, your puppy has only been with you for a week. He's still adjusting and he's got a lot to learn. He is also a baby. You have brought another child into the house who needs to be taught. 

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. My daughter is 4 next week and my son is 2.5 yrs. I've done the puppy thing with young kids. I will be happy to offer advice and support.


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

> You may need to rehome and try a smaller less threatening breed to help your son get over it


I may not win any points here but if you do give up this dog, please do not get another. Dogs aren't jackets to be "tried on" to see how they "fit" and discarded when they do not. 

Follow some of the other advice given for integrating this puppy in, but also consider that if it doesn't work out, you should probably go dogless for a while until your child is older and can tolerate a dog in the home. If you do give up the puppy, don't get another - instead get him used to other people's dogs who are known to be nice and tolerant of kids. 

BTW smaller breed dogs tend to be more snappish towards young children because they get nervous around them, thinking they may be stepped on when kids play and run.


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## JasonandUs (Oct 17, 2011)

First of all, thank you for your advice/ideas. We really don't think that getting rid of Jason is a great option. And I do have experience training puppies, although they were mostly labs and lab mixes. I have been working with him and he has been wonderful in every other aspect except with my little one. I will try the ideas suggested with fingers crossed! Any other ideas...I'd love to hear them. Thanks!!


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

JasonandUs said:


> First of all, thank you for your advice/ideas. We really don't think that getting rid of Jason is a great option. And I do have experience training puppies, although they were mostly labs and lab mixes. I have been working with him and he has been wonderful in every other aspect except with my little one. I will try the ideas suggested with fingers crossed! Any other ideas...I'd love to hear them. Thanks!!


 
good luck!!! You're in a whole different ball park with GSDs compared to labs.


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## JKlatsky (Apr 21, 2007)

Give them both some space and keep working with them individually. Personally I think that trying to force interactions can actually make the situation worse, even treat throwing because the tension and anxiety can be felt by both the puppy and your son. 

If you son feels secure with the puppy in the crate, why not start there? Often when I introduce people/or new dogs into my house they meet through the crate. That way everyone has the opportunity to feel secure because the boundary is clearly defined. Maybe you can get your son to sit with you next to the crate and feed the puppy treats through the crate. Maybe he doesn't feed the puppy...maybe its just you. But eventually he might get curious and want to help. In the meantime, you get the puppy to classes and start teaching him calm behavior. This way when puppy comes out of the crate he can be on leash laying down and slowly acclimate to your son and your son to him. I would say at this point, they're both afraid of each other. 

Not to knock kids, but they really can freak dogs out. Kids seem to love to do this thing where they reach out to pet the dog, and then when the dog moves, they jerk back their hand and squeal. And then they reach out again. This is difficult even for my well socialized adult GSDs. Take the time to teach the puppy to be good, but also take the time to help the kids learn how to get the puppy to be the best he can be.


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## Gmthrust (Mar 3, 2010)

A special game that can be played for a while......ask your youngest boy to play the "invisible game." It's played by pretending the newest boy is ...."Invisible." It may help. 

Another game, ask your son if you may borrow one of his stinkiest socks! Say thanks then walk away. Your son doesn't have to follow you ----(it'd be cool if he did). Make sure to have a couple of Jason's kibble already in hand......put Jason in the down position, and reward that....... and let Jason smell the sock, _but don't give it to him_, just only a sniff! Then reward Jason! Next, bring the sock back to your son, and be sure to thank him! Repeat as long as YOU are having fun with the stinky sock game.

Never let Jason play with any of the socks. Those are not his toys...


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

Kids also stare at dogs which freaks dogs out too. 

Dogs&Storks Dog and Baby Safety <--great info for parents with pooches


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

msvette2u said:


> Kids also stare at dogs which freaks dogs out too.


Basically everything kids do is custom-designed to freak dogs out. Kids stare dogs in the face, they run up to them with their hands out in front like teeth or claws, they make high-pitched noises, they make confusing, jerky, unpredictable movements, they run around like prey or herd animals. . .


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

JasonandUs said:


> We have 3 kids (8, 6, and 4 years old.) The older kids have been begging for a puppy for a while and last weekend my husband caved in. He got a white german shepherd from our neighbor and he is 15 weeks old. The problem....our 4 year old son is terrrified of dogs since he got nipped by one last year. We thought getting one of our own would help him 'get over' his fear, but puppy has made it worse!! Jason (the puppy) barks aggressively at our son almost every time he sees him. Son won't even go near him and doesn't want to leave his room if Jason is in the house and not in his crate. What do I do? I tried getting son to feed puppy treats but he kind of throws them at him and runs away. I feel like I'm torturing him by making him be around the puppy. ;-( Any ideas?? Thanks!


Oh sigh, what a situation!

I've never tried to work a problem like yours, but I have had to work to get my puppy to accept certain people... particularly people he didn't seem to like at first. (My son's friends who were loud, jumping around, etc..)

Take my advice with the warning it could be very worthless... 

Immediately cease the throwing of a treat and running away. Sends too many wrong signals.

Is your puppy bitey? Landshark-ey? If YES, it would change some of what I'm getting ready to say.

If he is NOT, though... I think I'd try this:

Talk to your four year old. Explain it is a puppy and puppies are scared of many things. (Maybe integrate some fear your child has of something.) Say, well honey, if you were a doggy, if the boogy man (or whatever a fear he has may be,) came close to you, wouldn't you bark? That's what doggies do! They bark! Etc and so on. Try to get him to understand that it is about the pup's *fear* and NOT about the pup's desire to kill/attack/injure him. I'd even go on to say, look honey what a big boy you are and this puppy is small and he thinks you're scary! I mean, build this thing down in your child. If he can mentally accept/process that the dog is *afraid* and not *mean* it might make your son view it differently.

Let your boy kind of process all of that and don't push him. You may have to crate the pup more than usual... but it's your son's house first and foremost, so he shouldn't be "punished" to hide in a bedroom.

Then I'd go outside, pup on leash (with a parent in control) and son with high value treats. Have your boy sit down with the treats a foot or two in front of him on the ground. (Change distance according to reaction.) Explain exactly what is going to happen before you do any of this. (Reinterate how pup is scared, tell him pup will be on leash, pup cannot hurt him, this is how we show pup you're not a scary boogy-monster! Hopefully, giggle, giggle because your son knows he isn't a scary boogy-monster. ) When pup is taking treats 1-2 foot away, great... move them a little closer. If you can get to the point that pup takes the treat (again, a high value treat) from your son's hand... that's a starting point. 

Your kids and especially the little one need a lot of prep and information about puppies - how to treat them, how puppies react to quick movements, etc... even how pups love to chew, nip -- they need lots and lots of info from you on this so they treat the pup well and are not scared when the pup acts like, well, a pup!

It would be wise to tether the pup inside when he isn't in his crate. That will also help your littlest one feel safer.


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## JasonandUs (Oct 17, 2011)

Thank you Chelle! Great advice! I will try that tomorrow. Also, I noticed that you have white gsd in you picture. Do you find a difference in white vs. 'regular' gsd? Thanks again!


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

JasonandUs said:


> Thank you Chelle! Great advice! I will try that tomorrow. Also, I noticed that you have white gsd in you picture. Do you find a difference in white vs. 'regular' gsd? Thanks again!


Welllll that's quite a can of worms.  It is said *if* the WGSD is *well-bred*, the characteristics are the same as any GSD, BUT the whites have supposidely been over-bred, and bred for *only* being white, without regard to temperment, health, etc. Really like any "designer" breed out there. Breeding only for looks. So many breeds have suffered due to this really. Cocker spaniels immediately come to mind for me on this. For some time there were some CRAZY cockers out there because they were bred like crazy with no concern for anything other than making a buck. The whites, I'm told, have had similar issues.

You can find a TON of discussions on the forum relating to the whites. More than you might want to find, hehe.

I wish you the best with your kids and the new pup. Hopefully someone better informed with the integration will come along. ZKoppa sounds like she has been there, done that - I haven't. I can sit here and tell you how I'd try to go, but I can't tell you what really works. I'll bet she can.! Good luck!!!!!!!!!


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

I must be clueless. I've never heard of the white GSD myth that they are somehow unstable. We have had a couple in rescue who were very nice dogs and had no issues.


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## Holmeshx2 (Apr 25, 2010)

Definitely Like Chelle and KZoppa's recommendations. One thing I would do is work on your son individually. I'm sure this is all hind sight but you REALLY should have worked on your son before bringing a dog into the house 24/7 thats just a bad way to get over a fear. Not sure why so many people think this is the way to do it but it's like taking a person afraid of snaked and throwing them in a huge pit loaded with snakes and no way out.. and a german shepherd puppy is like having the pit full of King Cobras lol. BTW for someone who used to have labs and switched to GSDs BIG difference and prepare for a learning curve labs eat everything GSDs eat you lol and of course crazy smart so stay a few steps ahead. 

As far as your son I would definitely work on him individually but work with older calm dogs. Find people you know with well mannered dogs that will sit quietly to be pet. For the first few times I would consider holding his hand let him know you will pull it back if anything happens and to trust you then hold his hand and help him pet the dog on his back or something so he can see the dog is good and not do the typical little kid thing of reaching out and backing up jerking hand away etc.. get him used to calm dogs before making him deal with a crazy puppy


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## cowboy17 (Sep 26, 2011)

I had a similar issue as my 5yr old son was nipped and jumped on at the breeders place. Did NOT want a puppy. Lots of tears.

When the 5 month pup came home, I spent some time beforehand explaining that dogs like to chase. If you run, they will chase.
I also showed him how to hold and present a treat for the dog.

I explained that if he jumps on you, turn and walk away without looking at him, if he keeps doing it, so do you. Keep turning and waling away.

Brought out my son armed with a pocket full of hot dog pieces (he thought that was cool enough) and I put him on top of the picnic table.
This way, the dog could not jump up on him nor could he nip him.

Got the dogs attention and started feeding him treats once in a while for about 5 minutes.by then my son was ready to come off the table.

We reloaded him with treats and when the dog came running this time, it stood by his side and a treat was given. We found that withing about 15 minutes of moving around in the yard and treating the dog each time it came to him (before it could jump up) there was no more nipping nor jumping.

This is my son's new game and was the first thing he wanted to do this morning before daycare. Their relationship has begun.

Not saying it would work for you, but it did wonders for us in a short amount of time.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I think you've gotten some great suggestions so far, and I honestly hope it works out for all of you.

The thing that would concern me tho, is the dog barking at your son and your son being terrified of him If the puppy was trying to make friends with your son that would be different, but maybe the puppy is sensing he is afraid, so he's reacting to that fear..

It's easy for us to say, don't be afraid, but very hard overcoming something that terrifies you 

I know I have a phobia, (not dogs) and there is no way I will ever ever overcome it, I know how terrified I get, so I can imagine it must be hard for your son

I really do hope it works out tho


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