# I don't think I can do it.



## OUbrat79

I wanted to ask a question about putting a dog down. This has to do with my families pet boxer MAK. He is almost 10 and has started having some major health problems. He has started showing signs of cancer, we haven't done the blood work for it. Also he has a problem that is going to require major surgery. 

I don't think he will be able to recover from the surgery, the vet has said the recovery would be very long and hard. My husband and I have decided it would be best for him to just let him go. He has lived a very happy life and we don't want the end of his life filled with pain. 

My problem is that I am beyond horrible when it comes to dealing with death. I have never been able to handle it. I don't want to leave him alone in his final moments, but I don't know if I can handle it either. I know if I'm not there they will have to muzzle him, he has gotten cranky in his old age. Does anyone have any words of advice or comfort for how to deal with this?


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## llombardo

I've been on two sides of this. I worked at a vet where numerous people decided not to be with their pets at the time, so I was. This is the reason that I quit that profession. I have always said that I couldn't be there either, but when my black lab was put to sleep..I slept on the floor with him the night before and I laid next to him, hugging him when he passed. I cried hysterically and was told to go out the side door and an invoice would be sent. I couldn't see straight and it was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I did it because I didn't want my dog alone or afraid in his last moments. Its hard, but they give us so much and they deserve that respect.


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## Loneforce

You will never forgive yourself if you are not there for him. It is tough, but it is even harder thinking of the what ifs.


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## jafo220

OUbrat79 said:


> I wanted to ask a question about putting a dog down. This has to do with my families pet boxer MAK. He is almost 10 and has started having some major health problems. He has started showing signs of cancer, we haven't done the blood work for it. Also he has a problem that is going to require major surgery.
> 
> I don't think he will be able to recover from the surgery, the vet has said the recovery would be very long and hard. My husband and I have decided it would be best for him to just let him go. He has lived a very happy life and we don't want the end of his life filled with pain.
> 
> My problem is that I am beyond horrible when it comes to dealing with death. I have never been able to handle it. I don't want to leave him alone in his final moments, but I don't know if I can handle it either. I know if I'm not there they will have to muzzle him, he has gotten cranky in his old age. Does anyone have any words of advice or comfort for how to deal with this?
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


 
My family had to put our 12yr. GSD Rocky down alittle over a year ago. We decided to do it together and he wasn't alone at the end. He had went through major surgery in an attempt to keep him around but he just could not recover from it. He couldn't produce enough blood to make it. The last step was to have the vet transfuse blood from another dog to him but there was no guarentee he would make. We decided to let him go, it was the best thing for him. 

Writing this brings it all back and now have that funny feeling in my stomach again. 

The best advice I can give is if you decide to put him down, be there at the end. He deserves that much, and have as much family present so you can lean on someone. It helps but it's not easy. I'll never regret being there at the end, never, and neither will my or his family. I've had another GSD put down for cancer reasons and was not there at the end, and to this day I feel guilty for not being there. That, hurts much more to me than being present when he goes away.


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## Fade2Black

Like others said you won't forgive yourself. The vet asked me if I wanted him to do it alone without me. I said no way. I must have been in a pretty bad state because a vet tech or someone. I don't know. I didn't turn around was also crying. They all knew Kaos. Any way I just laid down on the floor holding him. The one thing I would do over but I wasn't thinking straight after they recommended putting him down. Call up a vet that does house calls. Then have them give you something to knock him out. You can put him on his favorite couch or something. That way he is already sleeping when the vet comes over. Then the vet can give him the 1st shot so he won't feel anything. Then the other one that makes him go.....I know I won't forgive myself for not getting a vet to come to the house. Even though I was there with him holding him I wasn't in a good state so he had to be scared. Or at the least Kaos who was always friendly to everyone who worked at the vet. He didn't like being there. I don't blame him...


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## lyssa62

I had thought after my son and I were in the room putting our first schipperke down I would never do it again. ( there is nothing worse than seeing your 6'3 16 year old son crumpled in a pile in the corner sobbing.) But now that we have 2 other dogs..another schipperke ( going on 6 years old) and my GSD...I would have to rethink it. It's a horrible scene. I don't know if anybody else had the rough passing we had but there was NOTHING peaceful about it. Nothing at all. The worst thing I have gone through in my life. 

Just be prepared that it might not be a peaceful passing. My heart is with you.


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## Muskeg

This is very difficult and I am a lot like you. When my last dog was very ill it was time but I could not be there with him. I just couldn't do it. I was so upset that it was truly more stressful for him.

My parents, who he knew and who loved him, made the trip for me. It was not easy for them either, but it was a huge gift for me and him.

I am breaking down writing this, but I disagree that you will never forgive yourself if you are not there. I feel absolutely no regret for not being there at the end. It just was not right for me. It doesn't mean you don't love your dog, because I loved that dog like I will never love another animal. Each person is different and you have to choose what is best for you.


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## Loneforce

Muskeg said:


> This is very difficult and I am a lot like you. When my last dog was very ill it was time but I could not be there with him. I just couldn't do it. I was so upset that it was truly more stressful for him.
> 
> My parents, who he knew and who loved him, made the trip for me. It was not easy for them either, but it was a huge gift for me and him.
> 
> I am breaking down writing this, but I disagree that you will never forgive yourself if you are not there. I feel absolutely no regret for not being there at the end. It just was not right for me. It doesn't mean you don't love your dog, because I loved that dog like I will never love another animal. Each person is different and you have to choose what is best for you.


 This is very true. When Taz was PTS I was not there for him. I was too torn up to even get in the car to go there where he was kept overnight at the E-vet. So I asked them if they would be there for him and put him down. Well..what they could understand me saying balling my eyes out. A year later I think about him everyday, hoping he forgives me for not being there. I was there for Ginger though, and I can honestly say...I never want to do that again. So you are 100% correct everyone is different on how they handle stuff. I guess I kind of said it wrong. You might not forgive yourself for not being there, but then again It might be better for all involved not being there.


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## Fade2Black

OUbrat79 said:


> My husband and I have decided it would be best for him to just let him go. He has lived a very happy life and we don't want the end of his life filled with pain.
> 
> My problem is that I am beyond horrible when it comes to dealing with death. I have never been able to handle it. I don't want to leave him alone in his final moments, but I don't know if I can handle it either. I know if I'm not there they will have to muzzle him, he has gotten cranky in his old age. Does anyone have any words of advice or comfort for how to deal with this?
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App



You could have your husband do it then. You don't have to be in there and your Max isn't alone.....


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## lorihd

would take fade2blacks advice and get a vet to come to your house. it would soooo be worth the money. we had to take my last dog to the vets and she was really stressed out, being home and with family would make passing much easier on the dog and your family. sorry you have to go thru this, I know how you feel


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## LeoRose

There is no shame in not being there, if you don't think you can handle it. I've worked for vets, and held other people's pets. For my own pets, I can't even be in the building. I tell them that I love them, say goodbye, and leave. 

To try and put a guilt trip on someone, saying "You'll never forgive yourself for not being there" is _totally_ unfair.


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## lzver

No matter how hard it is, we couldn't leave our Jakey alone in the end. Like others said, you'll probably regret not being there for him. I'm sorry you are faced with this decision. It's so hard losing our beloved pets


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## Jax08

Our Boxer, 13 1/2 years, if failing as well. We will have the vet come to our house. It's more expensive but she'll be home and we'll be with her.


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## gsdsar

I have worked as a Tech for a very long time. And have been there when countless animals were put to sleep. It is never easy and I cry all the time. 

Do NOT feel bad if you can't be there. One of the most loved dogs I know had an owner that could not be there. This man was the most dedicated and amazing owner. I promised him I would be there and loving his beloved dog the entire time. And I was and the Vet and I took time to cry afterwards because we knew how hard it was on the owner. 

Everyone deals with it differently, being there or not does not negate your love or prove it, don't let anyone tell you different. 

Some vets will sedate the dog first, we always do, so that the dog is sleeping before the final injection. Maybe you can stay long enough for him to be sedated, say your goodbyes and then leave for the final injection, once he is asleep. 

Whatever you decide, it's obvious you love your dog, if you did not then you would not be having a hard time with letting him go. 

I wish you the best and I am sorry you are going through this. 


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## OUbrat79

I have thought about having the vet come to the house but I really don't want my kids to deal with death like this just yet.

As far as my husband going I don't think it would be a good idea. Don't get me wrong he is a wonderful man, but he doesn't look at pets the same as most on here. He was never raised with pets and didn't really have one till we were married. Plus MAK has become very attached to me and would be stressed out if he took him. 

I think I will try and be there until he is at least sedated and asleep. I keep putting it off but after this weekend and how rough it was on him I don't think I can put it off any longer. I will probably take him in Monday or Tuesday. I really hate this part of owning a pet. 


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## llombardo

OUbrat79 said:


> I have thought about having the vet come to the house but I really don't want my kids to deal with death like this just yet.
> 
> As far as my husband going I don't think it would be a good idea. Don't get me wrong he is a wonderful man, but he doesn't look at pets the same as most on here. He was never raised with pets and didn't really have one till we were married. Plus MAK has become very attached to me and would be stressed out if he took him.
> 
> I think I will try and be there until he is at least sedated and asleep. I keep putting it off but after this weekend and how rough it was on him I don't think I can put it off any longer. I will probably take him in Monday or Tuesday. I really hate this part of owning a pet.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


This is by far the worst part of owning a pet. The hard part is the sedation and knowing what is next, if you get past that then you will stay the rest of the time. I was going to be the only one in there with my lab, but my son and boyfriend ended up coming in with me. They didn't feel the same way about the dog either, but they both cried. I'm not sure if it was because I was so upset or because of the dog. I got on that floor and talked to him the whole time, telling him that it was okay and he wouldn't be suffering anymore. Afterwards I really fell apart.


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## OUbrat79

I can not deal with the idea of him being muzzled, he hates muzzles. If me staying means they won't muzzle him then that is what I will do. 


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## schatzi14

It was the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching and saddest thing I've ever had to do..but I promised Nikko that I would never leave him...and I'm alot like you...can't handle things like that...I wasn't with my girl, Schatzi...but my poor little boy had cancer and it just about killed me too. When the day came I held his paw and petted him telling him how much I loved him and that he was a good boy. It actually was very peaceful...and just to have him sleep in my arms and cross to the bridge made it strangely a little easier.
My heart goes out to you.


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## Loneforce

OUbrat79 I definitely was not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. I was trying to say from my past experience with it. I regretted not being there for Taz, not when it was done but weeks to months after. Once they give your dog the sedative, the dog will be so out of it I don't think a muzzle will be needed. I am sorry you have to go though this. It is probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. No matter if you are there or not, it is the same outcome in the end. Prayers to you and your family.


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## OUbrat79

Loneforce I know you weren't. I'm glad I can come on here and talk to people who know how I feel about what we are going through. 

Have to share a few pics of MAK with the family. 















This is MAK with my oldest. We got MAK for his 1st birthday. 








MAK giving our youngest kisses. 

He has been each one of the kids' 1st pet, their 1st best friend. 


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## llombardo

Oh he is adorable. I think its harder to explain to small kids, then being there. Especially when they are such a big part of the kids lives. My oldest will be 9. She has been with my son since he started high school, they have always been together and I know that he will take her going very hard, even if he is now an adult. He was there when my dad put his dog to sleep a couple weeks ago and he broke down then too.


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## GatorBytes

You may feel differently if you have the vet come to your home, give him an ultra special day - some have suggested valium (from the vet) prior to the vet showing up so he doesn't even know and will be in a relaxed state dreaming of his ultra special day.

There is closure in being with and holding him.

Yrs. ago I had two cats - pts a year apart - the first I couldn't do and had my friend take him in.

the second, when I knew was time, I took him.

When I think about those times - I have tremendous guilt over not being with Murphy (the first one)...sending him off, confused, scared (he pee'd and pooped his carrier)

Now I dread the day for my dog and hope I never have to make a decision to pts, but I will be hugging him so hard


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## readaboutdogs

With Cody it was kind of unexpected, I hadn't planned on losing him that day at the vet. It has been 9 months now and I still have days where I cry for him or talking about him makes me cry. I couldn't have left his side that day, I only wanted to spend every last second with him, I loved and still love him so. Clipper now has cancer. Cody, bless his soul, was a teacher in his last days, though I did not see that then. With clipper I am doing all the things I wish I could have done with and for Cody. I also see more clearly now, as much as I love him, the more I see his decline, I won't let it get to a point that he is suffering badly, at least I hope I do not, I know that sounds contradictory,but it is so hard. For me, I will have to be there with him, I want to be with clipper in my arms as he leaves this world.


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## Discoetheque

I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it, myself. I bawled like a baby for days after my rat passed away, so I thought "What hope would there be for me for a dog...MY first dog?" 
It helps when you KNOW that you're doing the right thing by your dog. When I took Reba in, the cancer had begun to cause lypmhatic fluid to build in her chest and legs. Though she was still mobile (even still running and playing) and eating, I could tell she was incredibly uncomfortable. And though I didn't want to have to do it, I knew that waiting would be unfair to her. 
I stayed, though it was hard. And I'm glad I did. Leaving her there alone in her last moments was never an option for me, but it helped that I was at a very nice place where everyone was supportive and very sweet to my dog, even though they had never met her. They brought her a thick fleece blanket to lay on, and the vet even talked to her as it was happening. She looked like she was sleeping, with her head in my lap.

It's never easy. I'm reluctant to ever get another dog at this particular point in time, just because it's still so fresh and I currently have two others, one of whom is getting up in age and dread having to possibly make this decision again. 
But it helped that I knew I was doing the right thing for Reba, remembering that she brought so much joy into my life and those of many other people (Even the vet and the tech were laughing because she was in a kissing frenzy when they came in the room, and that memory helps when I start to get teary-eyed again). It helped that we went to a nice place with people who were obviously passionate about what they do, even the ugliest parts of their job. And it helped that I have so many good memories of my Beeper over the last six years.

Remember your dog fondly, not just by yourself, but with others who knew him, too. It doesn't have to be people who knew him well...even people he met once and left an impact on. Know that while it feels incredibly raw and heavy and while you may even get a twinge of 'this feels wrong', that this is not wrong. That you are not mean or cruel, that your dog will not hate you. Remember that our dogs trust us to do what is right and fair for them. 
Like Gatorbytes said: there is closure in being there and holding them. Any doubts that I had about the decision I was making went away when I saw Reba, peaceful and knowing she wouldn't have a hard time sleeping anymore, or that she wouldn't have to eat another disgusting pill hidden in her food. It will be hard, but it was personally something that I needed, and I don't regret the experience. The fact that we feel that pain weighing on our heart is testament to our love and devotion to them, and should be felt.


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## katdog5911

There is no right or wrong decision. Everyone is different. I was with my chow mix and he went peacefully, with me telling him good bye. It was so so hard. But I know for me....I will always choose to be with my pet. That was the first pet I ever had to PTS.

My son, on the other hand, could not be there for his dog. It was just too much for him. His wife and I were there for his dog's final moments. But even my daughter in law couldn't bring herself to be near their dog and pet him, so I had the honor of giving the dog the last belly rub, and the last good bye. And I did consider it an honor to be able to hopefully offer some comfort to their dog.

It is so very hard to do this. And it hurts. But if the animal is suffering, it is a final act of love to let them go....


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## brembo

Putting Banjo down wasn't hard. The fact he's gone is the part that hurts. He was going to go either way, so I did the right thing. When he lost mobility and peed in the kitchen I knew it was time. he was happy and content to be near me, hated being carried. So, when I had to carry him to use the potty his QoL was done for. I scheduled a vet visit ASAP.


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## KZoppa

Honestly, I wouldn't forgive myself for not being there. They spend all this time with us and to put them to sleep and not be there with them... I can't imagine how THEY feel. Yes, they're given a sedation but they still know you are there or aren't. I can't imagine leaving my dog or cat to put held by some stranger as another stranger/non family puts that drug in their system that sends them to their forever sleep. As hard as it is on us, they don't know what's going on and why we aren't there when they leave us. IMO, the least we can do is be there to hold them as they pass. I think it puts less stress on them in their last moments and helps them go. They live to please us and love us. They don't know anything else. They trust us and count on us. 

When we had Riley put to sleep, as hard as it was, I was there holding his head in my lap. I didn't care how hard it was for me or how much I cried in front of strangers. Riley's last day was spent doing things he used to enjoy. He got spoiled with cheeseburgers, he got to go to his favorite park when there were no other dogs around. My kids got to say goodbye to him at home. All they knew was he was sick and wouldn't be there when they came home from grandma's. My best friend was at the vet with me when he went. Riley left knowing he was loved and it was the best possible choice to release him from further stress. Had I left, he would have had to be muzzled which would have stressed him out more and after a lifetime of mental demons, he didn't need any more stress or fear. 

When I had to have my cat and best friend, Princess, put to sleep when I was 14, I was there. I made the decision to let her go. She was extremely sick and after a week of handing feeding her, missing school, and just spending as much time and energy as I could to try and help her get better, I had to let her go. I was in the room with her. She went to sleep in my arms. She gave me 9 years of love and friendship. The least I could do for her was be there when she passed if it was within my power. 

If you can't handle it, that's fine, but look at it this way. If the roles were reversed and they could be there for you, they would be. He's given you all this time of unconditional love and to leave him with non family to be put to sleep.... he won't understand. He'll forgive you, but he won't understand why his people left him. You'd be putting him in a scary situation with no one he loves there with him, guiding him and showing him everything is okay. 

Now please don't take this as me trying to guilt you. I'm not. Some can handle being there and others cannot. But I do encourage you to be there with him to say goodbye and hug him when he goes. In that situation, having the strength to know its time to let them go and using it to be with them in their final moments... I think that's the greatest gift you can give. It NEVER gets easier. It's not supposed to. I just couldn't imagine taking them in, saying goodbye and that's it. As hard as it is for me to be there, I wouldn't be anywhere else just because that's all I have left to give them.


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## DharmasMom

KZoppa said:


> Honestly, I wouldn't forgive myself for not being there. They spend all this time with us and to put them to sleep and not be there with them... I can't imagine how THEY feel. Yes, they're given a sedation but they still know you are there or aren't. I can't imagine leaving my dog or cat to put held by some stranger as another stranger/non family puts that drug in their system that sends them to their forever sleep. As hard as it is on us, they don't know what's going on and why we aren't there when they leave us. IMO, the least we can do is be there to hold them as they pass. I think it puts less stress on them in their last moments and helps them go. They live to please us and love us. They don't know anything else. They trust us and count on us.
> 
> When we had Riley put to sleep, as hard as it was, I was there holding his head in my lap. I didn't care how hard it was for me or how much I cried in front of strangers. Riley's last day was spent doing things he used to enjoy. He got spoiled with cheeseburgers, he got to go to his favorite park when there were no other dogs around. My kids got to say goodbye to him at home. All they knew was he was sick and wouldn't be there when they came home from grandma's. My best friend was at the vet with me when he went. Riley left knowing he was loved and it was the best possible choice to release him from further stress. Had I left, he would have had to be muzzled which would have stressed him out more and after a lifetime of mental demons, he didn't need any more stress or fear.
> 
> When I had to have my cat and best friend, Princess, put to sleep when I was 14, I was there. I made the decision to let her go. She was extremely sick and after a week of handing feeding her, missing school, and just spending as much time and energy as I could to try and help her get better, I had to let her go. I was in the room with her. She went to sleep in my arms. She gave me 9 years of love and friendship. The least I could do for her was be there when she passed if it was within my power.
> 
> If you can't handle it, that's fine, but look at it this way. If the roles were reversed and they could be there for you, they would be. He's given you all this time of unconditional love and to leave him with non family to be put to sleep.... he won't understand. He'll forgive you, but he won't understand why his people left him. You'd be putting him in a scary situation with no one he loves there with him, guiding him and showing him everything is okay.
> 
> Now please don't take this as me trying to guilt you. I'm not. Some can handle being there and others cannot. But I do encourage you to be there with him to say goodbye and hug him when he goes. In that situation, having the strength to know its time to let them go and using it to be with them in their final moments... I think that's the greatest gift you can give. It NEVER gets easier. It's not supposed to. I just couldn't imagine taking them in, saying goodbye and that's it. As hard as it is for me to be there, I wouldn't be anywhere else just because that's all I have left to give them.


This is said so perfectly. 
In the end is not about us but about them. It is no doubt the hardest thing I have ever done but I will never regret being there. It is the last act of love you will ever do for them. I would never leave one of my friends or family members during their last moments- and that is exactly what my dogs are, my family. I am with them until the very end and like Krystal said, they would be there for me.


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## blackshep

I think you'll feel better if you're there. This is when he needs you the most, to give him comfort and familiarity in his last moments. 

OUbrat, it's very quick and very peaceful. I actually found making the appointment harder than being there and having it done.

I'm so sorry, this is the worst part of pet ownership. I wish there was a way to make it easier, but there just isn't.

Don't leave him now, you must be brave for him.

I had a terrible experience where my horse broke my hand and my cat was at the vets and just diagnosed with very aggressive cancer. He was just 4 years old. I was in the hospital for 3 days, because they had to put pins in my hand. So my sister went to be with him, so he wouldn't be alone, as I didn't want to make him wait, he'd been through enough. 

I have never had such a hard time getting over the loss of a pet. Partly because he was so special to me, but I think partly because I wasn't there and didn't have that closure and a chance to tell him I loved him one last time and say goodbye.

((hugs))


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## Shade

My mom put down all our animals growing up, we said our final goodbyes at the house and that was it.

With my first dog Alex, I knew it was time. My only regret is he wasn't able to have "one last day" with cuddles, love, special food, etc. I came home from work and he was in very rough shape and in a lot of pain and I couldn't make him suffer through another night. 

My parents came with me, and my best friend drove me so I didn't have to worry. We all walked into the clinic together, it was closed so only us and the vet there. We talked for a few minutes, she gave him the sedative and we waited for it to take effect before putting in the IV. The vet waited for all of us to say our final goodbyes and then I nodded at her and that was it. I had him cuddled in my arms and he simply sighed and snuggled his head into the crook of my arm and passed away.

I don't regret being with him, it was the hardest thing I've had to do but I made it through because I wanted to be there for him as he was always there for me. My pain didn't matter, his comfort and peace did. It was my final gift to him


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## SuperG

Loneforce said:


> You will never forgive yourself if you are not there for him. It is tough, but it is even harder thinking of the what ifs.


There is truth in the words above. 

Proceeding through life in a fashion which eliminates the majority of the "woulda, coulda and shouldas" is at times a difficult path but at the end of the day, perhaps the best path long term.

I have held all 3 of my dogs in my arms when they were liberated from their hardship. For me, there was no other option. However, we are all different and we should choose for ourselves. One thought which may or may not help is : I truly believe if we make life's most difficult decisions with a pure heart and complete selflessness, we will have made the correct decision. There is no escaping the tears and sadness no matter which option you might choose but for what it is worth...the euthanizing of a dog is an incredibly painless and quick procedure from my experiences of witnessing this last gesture we grant our beloved companions. There is no escaping the sadness you are experiencing there is only a last chance to let your furry friend know you were there...through the best of times and sadly the worst of times. Do as you must but remember, you will continue forward and looking back on this monumental decision, you will be best served by having no 'woulda coulda or shouldas" and of course this is what your pooch wants for you......let your conscience and love for your dog guide you brightly.

The end happens so quickly and harshly and all the good took years and years, please try your best to let your sadness be tempered by all the greatness this living creature brought to your doorstep. You both won even though it seems so miserable right now.

Take care,

SuperG


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## OUbrat79

The past 2 days I said I was going to take MAK and for the past 2 days I have put it off. Eventually I will set the appointment for him. I wish my mom was here, she is better at this than me. 


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## blackshep

OUbrat79 said:


> The past 2 days I said I was going to take MAK and for the past 2 days I have put it off. Eventually I will set the appointment for him. I wish my mom was here, she is better at this than me.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I always say, it's better a day too soon than a day too late. You don't want him to suffer. I'd much rather send them off when they're having a good day, than wait until they are feeling really sick.

I know it's so hard, I wish none of us ever had to go through it.

Honestly, for me making the appointment was the hardest part. It was one of the worst calls I've ever had to make.


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## Discoetheque

As terrible as it's going to sound, I didn't pre-book an appointment. While I did research the vets first and had a couple in mind, I did not really "schedule" the procedure. I specifically picked places that did not require appointments for euthanasia, where I could just walk in, be put in a room, and the whole thing go as fluidly as possible. And I went on a day at a time where vets are, barring an emergency, traditionally not busy. Thursday morning at about 11am.
I decided the evening before that tomorrow would be the day, and that I would go while I had the nerve, before I started to second-guess my decision, before I looked at Reba for too long and decided that she wasn't that bad off and that I could wait. 
If I had to book that appointment, I think that probably might have done me in. When it comes to trauma and tough decisions, it's easier for me to just ram into it head-on, get it done without stutter or stopping and deal with my feelings once everything is all done. I know it's not always possible, but I would hope that if I ever had to do this whole song and dance again, that I could do another walk-in euthanasia.


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## ALynott

KZoppa said:


> If the roles were reversed and they could be there for you, they would be. He's given you all this time of unconditional love and to leave him with non family to be put to sleep.... he won't understand. He'll forgive you, but he won't understand why his people left him.


^ This for me is the key - he'd want to be there for you if the roles were reversed. 

This whole thread is making me tear up. We've always been there for our dogs, cats and horses when it's their time and it is so _so_ hard, but if the last thing he feels is your hand on him as he drifts off from the effects of the sedative then you will always be glad you were there. For me, I think it would be more traumatic imagining his final moments than actually being there.


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## erfunhouse

I haven't read many of the replies, but I wanted to throw in my two cents. We just recently put down our 12 year old german shepherd. He developed a neurological disease and had lost use of his hind legs. I had to bring the subject up to my husband (this was his first dog and his favorite breed) and it was hard. It took my husband about three months to come to the same conclusion. By the time my husband decided Iwas right, our poor Metro had taken to dragging his hind legs around and we had to hold his tail and give his back end support to go to the bathroom. It was very difficult. Metro was also my kids first dog that they could remember. We debated bringing the kids with us, and ultimately the decision was theirs. They are 10 and 9. They went with us and we all got to love him and hug him. We were all a wreck, but everyone was petting him as he passed, and I think it was a little easier for them and him. It was soul crushing. As a nurse I recognized some signs in him as he was passing that are similar to humans, so it hurt that much more because I knew what was happening internally- where as my husband and kids just knew he was gone. It was horrific, but closure that we needed to help know we did what was best.


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## VTGirlT

For me, i have to be there. I wasnt there for one of my animals when they were put down, because I thought it would be too hard for me, and I didnt want to say goodbye or see him dead.
I regret it to this day, and because of which I strongly advice you to be there with him. Even if its not for you, its for him. Your probably one of, if not the most comforting thing for him, and when he passes he will have you there with him which is really all he would ask for I'm sure. 
I'm not sure if your vet will allow this, but doing it somewhere where he is most comfortable whether its somewhere familiar outside or even in the your house. We have done with this with some of our animals and so much less stressful than going to the vets and doing it there. 
But you cannot make a wrong decision on this one, any decision is just a decision you make and both have consequences good and bad. 
I am sorry about your little man..


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## belladonnalily

My 14yo Golden passed in October. She was diagnosed that July with bone cancer, and at her age we just weren't going to put her through treatments to make US feel better. She hated going to the vet, and I promised her the day she was diagnosed that she would never have to go back. She had 3 good months after that, and we doted on her every minute. We "rednecked" the kitchen with carpet remnants to minimize chances of a fall, and took her for car rides which she always loved. Taking those days to come to terms with losing her was so precious to my family.

We also had the chance to plan the end in a way that would be best for her. We had a vet willing to come to our home as well as 2 backups. When she told us it was time, I thought I would die having to make the call. The entire family was with her, touching her and talking to her while she laid in her favorite spot by the kitchen door. Her tail wagged until the very end. It was so painful for us to watch her last breath, but the next minute there was a sense of peace that overcame all of us. We had watched her struggle and now she was free of that. My 15yo daughter asked me later if it was bad that she wasn't more upset afterwards (Gretchen was 2 weeks older than my daughter, so my daughter had never known life without her...she gave up beach trips that summer because she didnt want to chance not being there for her...). I explained that we had grieved her for months and that we loved her so much that we were ready to let her go. Not for us...but for her.

There's a saying that when you make that decision you are taking their pain and making it yours. That sums it up for us.

It will be one of the hardest things you ever do, but I don't regret one instant of our journey with our Gretchen, not even the end. We still shed tears when we find an old toy or collar...and I am now as I'm writing this. For my girl and for your beloved pet 

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## TAR HEEL MOM

I have found myself wondering lately if I could be the one to push the plunger for one of my babies. I do it weekly for shelter animals. And 90% of the time it is definitely a releasing of their burdens. The topic came up the other day amongst us at the shelter. I know that my director will come to my house when that day comes (Dear Lord, please let it be many years from now...) but could I actually do it? It might sound horrible and please don't take it that way, but in a way I think it might be a final honoring of their lives. Sort of the one great gift I can give them after years of their giving to me.

I don't know that I could. 

For any of you wondering, trust me when I say that you need to be there as they are being sedated because they still know you as they are drifting off, but once they are sedated you could actually step out of the room for the final injection. They do not know anything once they are fully sedated. I prefer to sedate IM (intramuscular) because this isn't as scary to a dog as IV and it takes a little longer for them to become unconscious, thereby giving the owner and the dog a few last minutes to talk and kiss and sing and love.


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## OUbrat79

I finally made the call to the vet today. In a little less than a couple hours I will be taking MAK to the vet. :'(


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## JackandMattie

Maybe a stop on the way for a hamburger and an ice cream cone? I know this is difficult, and my heart goes out to you.


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## Shade

I'm so sorry  :hugs: to you and Mak and I agree with the ice cream and hamburger treat. No more pain and suffering and he'll have lots of friends waiting at the bridge to play with him


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## Jax08

:teary::hugs: We have to make that call this week for our 13.5 yr old Boxer. My thoughts are with you today.


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## OUbrat79

One last family picture.









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## JackandMattie

You have a beautiful family.


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## OUbrat79

I went and got him a cheese burger, which he ate in 3 bites. The vet wasn't going to sedate him, but did when I requested it. I'm so thankful he did because I didn't want MAK to be scared and fighting them when he got the last shot. I stayed till the end and am glad I did. Thank you everyone for all your kind words and for your thoughts and prayers. MAK will be deeply missed by our whole family. He was a very loved and cherished family member. 


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## Aviorwolf

I'm sorry.....you were wise to ask for sedation for your beautiful dog; that helps. I have some idea what you're going through...I lost my GSD, Kongur, to DM in April. Just know that you did a courageous and loving thing that truly put your companion first. Best to you and your family.


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## Loneforce

I am sorry for your loss  Rest in peace Mak


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## GatorBytes

Rest in peace MAK


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## Fade2Black

R.I.P Mak....


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## gsdsar

I am sorry for your loss. I am sure he will be dearly missed by your family. 


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## blackshep

OUbrat79 said:


> I finally made the call to the vet today. In a little less than a couple hours I will be taking MAK to the vet. :'(
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App



((hugs))

That was the hardest part for me, so at least that part is behind you now. 

I'll be thinking of you today. You'll see your boy again someday :wub:


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## Cheerful1

I'm very sorry for your loss.


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## erfunhouse

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts. It feels like someone ripped a piece of your heart out, and it's a very heavy feeling. My thoughts are with you!


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