# Getting a GSD as a young couple



## Wigglesdabum (Feb 5, 2012)

Hello all. I have been reading a lot and searching around but couldn't find some of these answers so I am posting them here. My fiance and I are looking into getting a GSD when we get married. I was wondering what type of effect it would have on the dog to have two different masters. I know they pick a head honcho for the most part , but do they totally disregard the other person? Obviously I selfishly want the GSD to pick me as the leader  which it probably will as I will be the man of the household but I could be wrong. Also.... I know its important to socialize the dog so it doesn't become aggressive later but is there a point where they are too socialized so that it wont protect its owner when the time comes? Is it absolutely necessary to do shutzhund training to get the most protective nature out of the GSD? I would appreciate any information thanks!


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

I can't be of much help regarding the first part of your question, but as for the 'over-socializing,' if you get your dog from a reputable breeder with a good, correct temperament, then they will know the difference between a friend and an enemy who intends to cause harm. 
SchH is not necessary, but it's a good way to channel their drive, energy, and intelligence into something productive.


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## Wigglesdabum (Feb 5, 2012)

Ok thank you so much for your quick response. I am working on finding a breeder now that is reputable. Its more difficult than i expected.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Wigglesdabum said:


> I was wondering what type of effect it would have on the dog to have two different masters. I know they pick a head honcho for the most part , but do they totally disregard the other person? Obviously I selfishly want the GSD to pick me as the leader  which it probably will as I will be the man of the household but I could be wrong.


You would be wrong.  Being the "man of the household" has nothing to do with who the dog bonds more strongly with. In my personal experience (not everyone's, just mine), our dogs have always bonded more strongly with the opposite gender, and it doesn't matter who feeds them or trains them because I usually do that. Our females have all been Daddy's girls (4 in the past 25 years), and the one male we've had in all that time lives and breathes for me. Both dogs we have now, Halo - a female, and Keefer - the male, love both of us, but if they had to choose one or the other it's pretty clear which way they'd go. 

As far as who the leader is, well, both humans should outrank the dog, who will respond best to clear, consistent training. If one person enforces house rules, (no matter what you decide those should be), and the other person is wishy washy about expecting compliance with commands, the dog will learn what he can and can't get away with and with who. That's why it's always good to be on the same page, even if one person does the bulk of the training. The dog will be confused if you say "off" if he jumps on you and your wife says "down" if he jumps on her, so decide what your commands are going to be ahead of time.



> Also.... I know its important to socialize the dog so it doesn't become aggressive later but is there a point where they are too socialized so that it wont protect its owner when the time comes? Is it absolutely necessary to do shutzhund training to get the most protective nature out of the GSD? I would appreciate any information thanks!


Socialization is not going to take away your dog's protective instincts if he's got them to begin with. And no, it's not necessary to do Schutzhund training unless that's something that you're interested in pursuing.


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## Laney (Feb 12, 2012)

Wigglesdabum said:


> Hello all. I have been reading a lot and searching around but couldn't find some of these answers so I am posting them here. My fiance and I are looking into getting a GSD when we get married. I was wondering what type of effect it would have on the dog to have two different masters. I know they pick a head honcho for the most part , but do they totally disregard the other person? Obviously I selfishly want the GSD to pick me as the leader  which it probably will as I will be the man of the household but I could be wrong. Also.... I know its important to socialize the dog so it doesn't become aggressive later but is there a point where they are too socialized so that it wont protect its owner when the time comes? Is it absolutely necessary to do shutzhund training to get the most protective nature out of the GSD? I would appreciate any information thanks!


I can definitely answer some of your questions. My boyfriend and I are a young couple (both college students, early 20s - school and work full-time) and we just recently moved in together. We stumbled across our GSD puppy, definitely unplanned, but he needed a home or his owners (who just got him from a breeder 1 week before) were going to bring him to a shelter  He was 9 weeks old when we got him. Luckily I have owned GSDs before so I didn't hesitate to take him in. Amazing breed. 
Rivers is 9 months old now. He has been raised by both of us (although he is my shadow...definitely more my dog). There are things he does with both of us. We both do training so we are all on the same page. My boyfriend does morning exercise and drops him off at doggy day care on the days he goes. Rivers goes EVERYWHERE with me! I do dog park, errands, visit family, afternoon exercise, etc. Although he is more "mine" (I use that loosely) he loves my boyfriend so much (you can tell) and there are things he will go to him for rather than to me (tug-o-war for instance, my boyfriend is stronger, therefore much more fun to wrestle/play with). 
I also wouldn't worry about over-socializing. If any dog is "over-socialized" it would be mine. He is ALWAYS around other dogs and people. He loves everyone and everything! He will be a dogs (or persons) best friend, but if they get to close to me he won't hesitate to run to me, bark at them (but he isn't aggressive at all), and check to make sure I'm okay.
He has not done any shutzhund training. It is definitely a cool thing to do, but not necessary for your dog to be protective or well-trained. 
Hope that answered all your questions! Don't let being a young couple stop you from getting a GSD. They really are great dogs.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

you and your SO are getting a dog. it's our dog, not
your dog or her dog, it's our dog. both of you take the
upmost care of the dog. you share in all phases of the dogs life,
training, socializing, spending quality time, one on one time,
feeding, playing with the dog, etc. it's our dog not your dog
or her dog. forget about the protection. both of you protect
the dog. some GSD's are protective naturally some aren't.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

Wigglesdabum said:


> Hello all. I have been reading a lot and searching around but couldn't find some of these answers so I am posting them here. My fiance and I are looking into getting a GSD when we get married. I was wondering what type of effect it would have on the dog to have two different masters.


About the same effect of two different parents on a child.  The dog will listen to both of you, but will listen more to the one who trains him and works with him. In most households there seems to be a "fun" parent and a "strict" parent. In my house, I'm the strict one. The dogs obey me and listen to me but have more fun with my husband. 




Wigglesdabum said:


> I know they pick a head honcho for the most part , but do they totally disregard the other person? Obviously I selfishly want the GSD to pick me as the leader  which it probably will as I will be the man of the household but I could be wrong.


That sound you hear right now is all the women on this forum (I think we make up about 75%) who are successful trainers and whose dogs listen to them but basically ignore the husband. . . . because he is the "fun" parent. See what I said above. Dogs listen to, and respect, whoever works with them and trains them. Gender doesn't factor into it. 




Wigglesdabum said:


> .... I know its important to socialize the dog so it doesn't become aggressive later but is there a point where they are too socialized so that it wont protect its owner when the time comes? Is it absolutely necessary to do shutzhund training to get the most protective nature out of the GSD? I would appreciate any information thanks!


No, there's really no such thing as too socialized. The more socialized a dog is, the more he hill be able to distinguish a true threat from something that is merely unusual. An unsocialized dog is one who thinks old people, dark-skinned people, people in wheelchairs, and people with red hair are a threat because he's never seen them before. 

No it's not absolutely necessary to do Schutzhund.


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## JackB. (Jul 29, 2011)

My husband and I got Jack about 6 months after we got married. It became clear to Jack pretty quick who he should go to when he needed something(me), and who to go to when he wanted to play(my husband). I do most of the, what I call, "dirty work". I'm the one that wakes up at the crack of dawn when he needs to go out, I am the one that feeds him, cleans the yard after him, grooms him, and takes him for walks. This was mainly because I am home much more than my husband, and had the time to do these things. My husband is the "fun" one that is always willing to play with Jack (I play some too, but not like those two. And after doing all the other stuff I'm pooped!). At the same time, we share in some of the work as well. My husband does better when it comes to training in class, while I train him at home when my husband is at work. He also takes him on the occasional walk too. Its a balance I feel we have done well with, it just takes some work. Eventually it becomes pretty routine.


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## Liesje (Mar 4, 2007)

My 3 year old dog couldn't care less about my husband (I know it's sad but true). My young dog adores my husband as a buddy but is still definitely *my* dog. But we're kind of weird that way...the dogs are not really family pets, they are mine. My husband has little to do with them other than helping me with chores when I ask. I do not let them treat my husband like a doormat though. They are not as responsive to him and don't desire to be with him and train with him, but they must obey basic commands and show control and manners with him. I train them and I enforce this.


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## TheNamesNelson (Apr 4, 2011)

My wife and I have a GSD and he is a great with both of us. I got him before we were married and we didnt live together so he spent most of his time with me, but he still spent plenty of time with my soon to be wife. Now we live together and hes with us equal amounts of time, he answers to us both and adores both of us but there are differences in his behavior towards each of us.

He is bonded to both of us by he has a different relationship with each of us that's very recognizable. Its much like how a human child has a different relationship with their own mother and father. Its not that they love one more than the other but its just a different relationship with its own dynamics and characteristics. I'm sure each of you can relate to that. It's very cute and interesting to watch how he behaves towards myself and my wife.


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## Wigglesdabum (Feb 5, 2012)

So much awesome information in these responses. I am trying to learn and gain as much knowledge about the breed as possible right now. What would you guys suggest myself and my fiance do in order insure the dog will listen to both of us. I am considering making sure all training sessions are done together so there is not an unbalanced amount of exposure (of course I have 0 experience in this and is only an idea). Doggiedad I know you say to not be worried about the protective nature of the dogs but I need them to be aware of there surroundings and security conscious. That is one of the reasons I am looking into this breed. I dont want to train them to bite and become overly aggressive but I do want them to know what to do in a bad situation. Once again thanks so much for all the information yall have been giving!


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## NewbieShepherdGirl (Jan 7, 2011)

In our house Sasha definitely bonded more with me but she still listens and loves the other members of her family. She loves and respects me, my mom, and my brother; but if they are going one way and I'm going the other it doesn't matter what they are offering her, she will follow me. It's very interesting, I think, to see how they interact with the family. To Sasha each family member suits a particular need for her (she is a major diva/princess so everything is all about her and her needs lol). I'm the one that provides walks, training, food, stability, and random fun adventures. My mom is the one she can look to give the best scratches and the most spoiling. My brother is her partner in crime, helping her break my rules at every turn lol He's also the only who can actually tag her when she wants to play tag. 

As far as protection goes, the more balanced your dog is (socialization can be a very large part of this) the more actually protective they are, rather than just unpredictably reactive. 

Shutzhund isn't necessary (and some German Shepherds, like mine, don't even have the right temperament for it) but GSDs are active dogs and require a lot of mental stimulation as well as physical stimulation. Something like Shutzhund can facilitate this, but so can obedience, agility, or just making sure you and your dog are active and always challenging him/her. There is nothing worse than a bored GSD, or really most dogs for that matter. A bored GSD can find things to do, things you wouldn't necessarily like them to do lol

As far as being young goes, I'm 21 (was 20 when I got Sasha) and love the fact that I'm young and can just devote my time to her.


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## TrickyShepherd (Aug 15, 2011)

My SO and I are considered a "young couple", we are both mid/late-20s. We have 2 GSDs, one that we raised from 3 1/2 months and the second we got as a 2 year old.

The dogs love us both, but there is definitely a difference in the bond. Zira LOVES Will! Literally, in her mind the sun rises and falls on him! She still loves me, but if we are both in the room, she is more likely to go cuddle up to him. Duke is the complete opposite. I am his everything. Neither of them ignore or dislike the other.... they just have a special bond with the one person. 

With that said.... neither dog listens to Will very well either! LOL! He is not "alpha" to them, he is a playmate. He's started to work more with them and feeding them more (I usually do everything with them and their care.. grooming, vet visits, feeding... all we share is walks, he always goes on those with me and we take one dog each), anyway, they are starting to listen a lot more to him. Both dogs know I am boss and listen very well to me. When Will is home alone, the dogs are CRAZY! Running around and causing havok in their wake. Once I get home.... all I have to say is "Enough!" and both dogs are back to sane, loving, normal dogs. This annoys Will more then anything! 

As of the socializing... I don't believe in over socializing. My dogs go everywhere with me, they see and experience many many different things and I make sure they are safe with myself, my family, and the public. However, this does NOT mean that they will not protect or not know when to step up. Both of them have proven that if you come into our home uninvited and startle us, they will act on it. They are very protective of this house, us, and their yard... they make themselves known. So I don't believe that "over socializing" ruins their protective nature or anything of that sort. The wonderful thing about a shepherd is, they are known for understanding the difference between a threat and an innocent person. If I am ok with you... my dogs are ok with you. They may not be overly friendly (well...Z would be), but they will tolerate you. I believe in the opposite.... I am HUGE with socialization and believe that it is one of the most important parts of a puppy's/dog's life. In my opinion, not socializing leads to the biggest and most dangerous problems.

Anyway, I wish you both luck!


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## DukeTxDad (Mar 22, 2012)

I hate to hear the talk of him vs. her or "who will my dog like better".
While our family is new to GSD, dogs are dogs, and just like human children, they become products of what/ how they are raised.
With ample love, affection, and attention from all family members, the dog (regardless of breed or lack thereof) will love ALL of his/ her human "pack".
Some may disagree with me, but we always treat our "animal" members of the family as just that: part of the family. If the dog is treated as just another part of the family, and expected to act reciprocally, I think you will find good results!

Personal story: My wife had a rottie that was about 3 years old when we met, dated, and got married. She had been raised as a one-person dog, and from that point on, always was, albeit nice/ courteous to me. 

Since we married, we have treated all animals as family members, and it has worked out WONDERFULLY (especially in the dog-on-dog relationships).

Hope this helps!


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

DukeTxDad said:


> I hate to hear the talk of him vs. her or "who will my dog like better".
> While our family is new to GSD, dogs are dogs, and just like human children, they become products of what/ how they are raised.
> With ample love, affection, and attention from all family members, the dog (regardless of breed or lack thereof) will love ALL of his/ her human "pack".
> Some may disagree with me, but we always treat our "animal" members of the family as just that: part of the family. If the dog is treated as just another part of the family, and expected to act reciprocally, I think you will find good results!


Yes, this exactly. 

My dogs' relationship with me is _different_ from their relationship with my husband, but they don't love one of us more than the other. It's only natural. My relationship with my father is different from my relationship with my mother, but I don't love or respect one of them more than the other.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

We got Rocky when we were a young couple. Now we're a less-young couple and he is a senior. Raising him together has been a wonderful experience.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

Wigglesdabum said:


> Hello all. I have been reading a lot and searching around but couldn't find some of these answers so I am posting them here. My fiance and I are looking into getting a GSD when we get married. I was wondering what type of effect it would have on the dog to have two different masters. I know they pick a head honcho for the most part , but do they totally disregard the other person? Obviously I selfishly want the GSD to pick me as the leader  which it probably will as I will be the man of the household but I could be wrong. Also.... I know its important to socialize the dog so it doesn't become aggressive later but is there a point where they are too socialized so that it wont protect its owner when the time comes? Is it absolutely necessary to do shutzhund training to get the most protective nature out of the GSD? I would appreciate any information thanks!


I'm a single mother of a 20 year, so its not a young couple situation but still male/female. My puppy is 7 months old and we both go to classes with her together--she is in her 3rd class now. Even though we both participate equally, she still favors me and just last week the trainer recommended that he does more with her to get better results--more as in feeding, exercising, playing, etc. Even though she favors me she is close to both of us, she just doesn't listen to him as well if I'm around. She is very socialized and she has shown protective instincts with both of us at different times in different situations. She is usually quiet when people and animals pass, but in certain situations(usually when its dark and someone comes out of nowhere), she does bark(all of the sudden its a different bark then her play bark) and she is a "big" girl. She calms down as soon as we tell her to leave it and she has never over reacted--she is not reactive to anything. She has no training to be protective and I won't be going into that with her. I feel that she is part of the family and since she knows this and can feel this, there is no doubt she will protect us if needed. My parents came over the other day and she hasn't seen them in a couple months. It was dark out and they came around the car and pretty much surprised her. She was out with my son and I heard her barking, but as soon as they came in the house, she was all over them kissing them Truly a wonderful breed and probably the closest breed a couple can get to prepare for a baby....I have found taking care of her is the same as taking care of a little human


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## JPF (Feb 5, 2011)

Wigglesdabum said:


> So much awesome information in these responses. I am trying to learn and gain as much knowledge about the breed as possible right now. What would you guys suggest myself and my fiance do in order insure the dog will listen to both of us. I am considering making sure all training sessions are done together so there is not an unbalanced amount of exposure (of course I have 0 experience in this and is only an idea). Doggiedad I know you say to not be worried about the protective nature of the dogs but I need them to be aware of there surroundings and security conscious. That is one of the reasons I am looking into this breed. I dont want to train them to bite and become overly aggressive but I do want them to know what to do in a bad situation. Once again thanks so much for all the information yall have been giving!


Not all gsds are protective. For the most part even a non protective gsd is effective in "protecting" you just because of their reputation. Most dogs without training will back down when faced with a true threat. Doggiedad is saying that ultimately it is our responsibility to protect our dogs. 

Both should train the dog separately. Doing it together would just be confusing for the dog


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## NewbieShepherdGirl (Jan 7, 2011)

JPF said:


> Not all gsds are protective. * For the most part even a non protective gsd is effective in "protecting" you just because of their reputation.* Most dogs without training will back down when faced with a true threat. Doggiedad is saying that ultimately it is our responsibility to protect our dogs.
> 
> Both should train the dog separately. Doing it together would just be confusing for the dog


This is very very true, in my experience. 99% of the time nobody even comes near us because of what she is. Walking my grandma's poodles I had a very different reaction from people. 

Best example of this:
When Sasha and I go to petsmart, most of the time people look but do not approach. 

When my cousin takes his lab, everybody is all over her. 

People take the breed very seriously (well...some don't, and those are the people you have to watch out for. They generally aren't dangerous people, but they are usually ignorant people who think all dogs love them. )

That being said, Sasha is untrained and has proved she is willing to defend me. I'm with doggiedad though on it's my job to protect her. I was telling my cousin one time that I had a bad dream that someone broke into my apartment. It was so vivid that when I woke up I thought it was real. So I put Sasha into a sit/stay and slowly opened my bedroom door. My cousin then asked me why I hadn't had Sasha go out first if I was afraid. The answer to me was obvious: I wasn't about to let someone hurt my baby lol


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## Falkosmom (Jul 27, 2011)

Konotashi said:


> I can't be of much help regarding the first part of your question, but as for the 'over-socializing,' if you get your dog from a reputable breeder with a good, correct temperament, then they will know the difference between a friend and an enemy who intends to cause harm.
> SchH is not necessary, but it's a good way to channel their drive, energy, and intelligence into something productive.


I now get my WL GSDs from reputable breeders, but have had byb dogs, strays, etc., Rottie, Danes, Poodle mix and more. 

Each and every one failed to recognize a threat when there was one, as each failed to recognize a non threat, depending on the situation. Regardless of breed, breeding, and socialization, they did not automatically distinguish friend from enemy.


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## Wigglesdabum (Feb 5, 2012)

I don't need the dog to attack anyone all I really want is for the dog to react to a "bump in the night" and wake me up so I can deal with the situation. In public it isnt as much of a priority for me because I will be alert and aware.


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