# How do I teach my dog to share??



## MayzieGSD (Aug 28, 2006)

Mayzie has recently developed an issue where she does not want to share her toys with other dogs (never used to have a problem with it - she's 3 1/2 years old). She is an "only-dog" without any other dog siblings, so this issue only comes up when I take her to the dog park... (she doesn't mind when humans take away her toy - only other dogs).

If another dog takes her ball, she will bark at him angrily - ruff, ruff, ruff and that dog usually drops the ball and she is happy because she got her way. So I thought the easiest way to take care of this would be to stop bringing her ball to the park. And that has helped but once in awhile she finds a ball or a stick at the park and the same issue happens if another dog takes it away.









What's the best way to deal with this and teach her to share?? Like I said, she has never had this issue before - this started a few months ago.


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## Superpup (Jun 7, 2007)

I am not a fan of dog parks. Too many unruly dogs with stupid owners, sorry, not YOU but others... I think one of the most dangerous things is to bring toys to a dog park, because it only takes ONE possessive dog to start a dog fight, over a ball. My Brandie is very possessive over her toys, bones.. anything. She does not share with my other dog, or any other dog in that matter. I don't force the issue with her, because she really has no need to have toys with other dogs, she is perfectly fine playign with other dogs, chasing, wrestling etc, but when toys come into the picture, the only thing she wants is to possess them. So I don't force it. 

Your dog may be becoming more possessive over her toys around strange dogs and this could become more of a problem and lead to a fight if another dog challenges her enough over a toy. So first of all, don't bring any balls or any other toys to the park. IF she finds a stick, have her fetch the stick, ONLY with you around, if other dogs come around, I would take the stick away from her. LEt her know that it is YOUR stick, not hers and there is no reason for her to try to take things from other dogs at the park.


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## MayzieGSD (Aug 28, 2006)

Thanks Superpup - That is what I was thinking of doing except I was concerned that although it should help avoid this issue, it won't really teach her to share (just prevent her from having toys around other dogs).

I know a lot of people aren't a fan of dog parks but we go at a set time (very early mornings) where the park is fairly empty and we know the other owners there. I'd like to continue going to the park if possible as we don't have a very big yard and it's nice to yet her run free.


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## triordan (Dec 5, 2008)

bring more toys? we have a basket of toys that my 4 yr old barely touched until the puppy came along a few weeks ago, now everything is her favorite! I just went out and got more toys, now there's plenty for everyone!


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## GunnerJones (Jul 30, 2005)

We can't get people to share, its a bit much to ask a pack animal to "share"


exception: seen a male wolf on a nature show share what little bit of food he killed to his pregnant mate


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## Superpup (Jun 7, 2007)

I don't really see a reason why she would HAVE to learn to share.. you know!?!? She has her toys and other dogs have their toys, I would not force the issue on her, because if she becomes REALLY possessive over her toys with other dogs, it may be that you can never go to a dog park again.







You don't want her gettign into a fight with another dog!!


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## MayzieGSD (Aug 28, 2006)

Thanks for the feedback everyone!! I guess she doesn't really HAVE to learn to share - Ideally I guess I want her to play nice and get along with all dogs (including letting them take her toys), but maybe that is too much to ask. She does fine with other dogs when toys aren't involved - I just felt the barking when they take her toys makes her look bad.

Dresden, bringing more toys sounds like a good idea because then it would lessen the value of the toy she has....... I'm kind of afraid to try it though because I don't want to create more of a problem.

I think I'll try making her drop any toy/stick she has when other dogs are near and see how that works. She does know 'Drop it'.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Oy vey. There is NOTHING wrong with dog parks. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean that other people can't have a positive experience there or can't choose to take their dogs there.










And I also want my dogs to learn how to share because there are situations when you need your dogs to act a particular way around other dogs. 

There is a great book about resource guarding called, "Mine." I highly recommend it. One of the ways I've taught my dogs to share nicely is always to trade up. So if they have their favorite ball and I want them to share it (or not react aggressively when another dog comes near it!) then I ask for a sit and a drop and offer a really tasty treat in trade. Then I praise like crazy when I get the result I want. 

I do think that you need to remove the contested object until you get the problem fixed. If she is acting like a jerk with something then I would take it away as a consequence and add rewards when she stops acting like a jerk.


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## MayzieGSD (Aug 28, 2006)

"Mine!" is exactly what Miss Sassy is saying!! I will check out the book and try doing the Sit/Drop it with treats. Thanks!!


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB740

You could also do the command chain with other toys too so that no toy has higher value than any other.


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## Superpup (Jun 7, 2007)

Ruth... yes just because I don't like dog parks, does not mean that other people should hate them also, BUT on the other hand, just because you think they are good, not everyone should love them either...








I used to take my Cody to a dog park with a friend of mine who also has a GSD. she loves taking her dog there, but she NEVER took any toys with, because her dog was very possessive and she did not want any conflicts. So I took my Cody there. HE was fine until other dogs tried to either mess with me or tried to dominate him. After that he was not fine! There are plenty of stupid people in dog parks whose dogs have absolutely NO manners and I don't want my dogs around those dogs. YES there are also very intelligent people there with wonderful trained dogs that I would love to meet my dogs.
There is always two sides to the story, because of the stupid owners with their unruly dogs, I will never take my dogs to a dog park again, I just don't want to risk it. 
Secondly, yes I understand the desire for our dogs to be able to "share"... but I just don't think it is necessary.







I have no problem with Brandie being possessive, she will always bring the ball back to me, but there is no reason why she would have to share with another dog. JMO!!!
But again, I am sure there are ways of teaching your dog to "share", but unless the other dog is taught to share also, it really does no matter in a dog park, because all that training can go down the drain when a more dominant, possessive dog comes up to your dog and takes their toy


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## chruby (Sep 21, 2005)

I agree that taking a dog to a dog park is just asking for trouble.







There have been plenty of threads on this board with the op very upset because their dog was attacked. Do a search.....you will find plenty.









Sharing for some dogs is not possible. I don't care how many toys you give my one bitch she ALWAYS wants what the other dog has. Having a dog that is toy posessive is not a bad thing or a negative reflection on you. If someone wants to work with a dog within their pack and try and facilitate sharing, go for it. I am not saying it cannot be done but I see no use for it in my world. Now to ask a dog in a dog park to share toys is asking too much or at least with a typical GSD. Maybe a lab or golden would be better in that instance.


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## BlackGSD (Jan 4, 2005)

> Originally Posted By: chruby I don't care how many toys you give my one bitch she ALWAYS wants what the other dog has.


That is how my 2 girls are too. There could be 39857894 toys on the floor and they would HAVE to have the toy the other one has.


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## Superpup (Jun 7, 2007)

YEP sounds like my bitch!! She HAS to have another dog's toy, whether it is a familiar dog or a strange dog.


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## MayzieGSD (Aug 28, 2006)

Hmm... How come this only seems to be a problem with the females??


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## chruby (Sep 21, 2005)

> Originally Posted By: MayzieGSDHmm... How come this only seems to be a problem with the females??


I'm sure it would be same for my males as well but not willing to go there...for what??? I want peace and remember, they are pack animals, not little kids that I feel the need to "teach" to share...


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

It is important to me that my dogs know how to share or at least do not resource guard to the point of fighting because I like to be able to take my dogs with me on vacation or to other people's houses who have dogs and I also like other dogs to be able to come over to my house without worrying about my dog's behavior! I also like to be able to foster and to care for other people's animals if necessary. So it is worth it to me to teach my dog good manners in this department. Rafi (a male) does have some problems with sharing and I have been working with him on it. He is getting better. 

It is also worth it to me for my dogs to understand how to get along with other dogs at dog parks or dog gatherings. So this is something else I work on. There are lots of uneducated people out there who don't train their dogs and there are also lots of people out there with attitudes about how other people's dogs should behave. There are also lots of aggressive and/or reactive/fearful german shepherds out there. I do not wish to have one of those so I continue to socialize my dog in all kinds of situations. 

For the record, all of my dogs have been attacked at least once and despite the fact that I have visited dog parks thousands of times, each of these attacks happened either on the sidewalk or street while walking them or in some other public space. Everywhere I have lived--city or country--I have encountered loose dogs or leashed dogs who are dog aggressive or reactive. In the past month I have encountered more than 10 loose dogs while out walking Rafi and Chama. These things happen. On my walk tonight we Rafi we encountered two dog aggressive dogs and had to pass very close to them. In neither case did the owner have very good control. However, I had total control over Rafi and he followed my lead. I have learned a lot in the 20 years I've had dogs and I now know how to better protect my dog(s) when we are in these situations. I have also learned how to teach my dogs not to fight back and to allow me to take control of the situation. 

As for the overall dog park issue--you make your own choices and allow others to make theirs. That was my point above--dog parks are not the worst places in the world and there are dangers to our dogs everywhere.


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## chruby (Sep 21, 2005)

> Originally Posted By: BowWowMeow
> There are lots of uneducated people out there who don't train their dogs and there are also lots of people out there with attitudes about how other people's dogs should behave. There are also lots of aggressive and/or reactive/fearful german shepherds out there. I do not wish to have one of those so I continue to socialize my dog in all kinds of situations.


Thank you for illustrating my point....so why take your dogs to dog parks??







Do you really want to risk that??? I sure don't for my dogs. I want to eliminate the risk, not make dog attacks a badge of honor.....

As far as them being social when you take them to other's houses, that's very subjective. Mine would generally be fine with proper introductions but all you would have to do is remove the toys and they would be fine and a few would be fine with toys even. 

Of course there are dangers for dogs everywhere but to bring toys into a dog park and expect all the dogs to share is just asking for BIG trouble IMHO.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: chruby
> Thank you for illustrating my point....so why take your dogs to dog parks??
> 
> 
> ...


We seem to be having a ridiculous argument that has crossed some unnecessary lines. I agree that toys can cause problems, especially with certain breeds. And to a certain extent, I think german shepherds may not the best dog park dogs because they tend to be very intense in their play, like to pack up and also like to herd. However, that is a generalization, just like it is a generalization to say that dog parks are more dangerous than walking your dog down the sidewalk and that you are putting your dog in danger taking them to a dog park. Fortunately there are plenty of safe dogs parks out there filled with responsible owners and well behaved dogs. 

I don't actually go to the official dog park here because it's not near my house but I know lots of people who do take their dogs. They have very strict rules, separate play times for big and little dogs and people are very responsible. 

"Badge of honor?" Wow, I think you owe me an apology on that one. I'm a pacifist by nature. I do not go in for all that macho b.s. about owning a big tough dog. In the 20 years I've owned dogs I've only had one injury to a dog of mine from another dog and that was when a roommate was walking Massie in our neighborhood and a german shepherd came barreling out of her yard and knocked Massie down and bit her once on the hip. 

_If you read my entire post I say that in thousands of trips to the dog park I have not had a problem, however I have had many problems when walking my dogs down the street_! My dogs have been attacked while we were walking out in public not at the dog park! I live in a city and there are dogs everywhere! Uneducated people and their untrained and/or reactive/aggressive dogs are everywhere! I have met far fewer in the dog park than out walking my dogs in the neighborhood. Just tonight I encountered an off leash reactive golden retriever while I was out walking Rafi! A couple of weeks ago we were charged by a pit bull and last week it was an American bulldog. In the past we've had problems with a german shepherd, a chihuahua and a lab. I'm not willing to only exercise Rafi in my yard so I've learned how to deal with being charged by loose dogs. 

And we sure have gotten way off track in this thread!


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## MayzieGSD (Aug 28, 2006)

Wow, I wish I hadn't mentioned the dog park bit - I really wasn't looking for a debate about whether dog parks are a bad idea or a good one. I go to the dog park at the same time each weekend and I know what dogs will be there and who their owners are. Everyone keeps the same routine and there are no instances of agression except my sassy dog barking when another dog takes her ball.

I'm comfortable with our dog park routine and not looking to change it. I just wanted some tips on how to respond to Mayzie's barking. Thank you Ruth for your suggestions - I'm going to try them out.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I don't expect my dogs to share. As long as I am able to take the toy or food or treat out of the dog's mouth, I feel that is enough for my situation. 

But the very idea that people want their dog to share a slobbery tennis ball with just any dog from a local dog park is insane in my opinion and dangerous. Some of us vaccinate, some do not. But there are only a handful of diseases that can be vaccinated against. Just because a dog is not convulsing does not mean that he is perfectly healthy. It is bad enough that our dogs and bitches will sniff the ground and sometimes lick where another dog has urinated. I do not go out of my way to allow the sharing of bodily fluids. 

When you have one dog or two, having a serious bout of colitis, or some weird virus is frustrating and a nuisance. Having a kennel with a handful or more dogs is exponentially worse. And having breeding dogs or puppies, no way.


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## IliamnasQuest (Aug 24, 2005)

My dogs all learn to share, but that's part of being in a group of dogs they're familiar with. It's much harder to teach that concept to an "only" dog, especially when the times when you want her to share are around strange dogs.

If you could find a few people with dogs that you could meet with to let the dogs interact and play, you might be able to try the "multiple toys" and see if that helps. While some dogs do want to have whatever toy the other dog has, some dogs are also content as long as they have a toy (of any kind).

My Mom came over today with her GSD mix, Eddie. He's an only dog but he does visit with mine so he's had to learn to be part of a "pack" at times. Tazer, my 18 month old GSD bitch, is a toy-collector. She wants any toy that another dog picks up. Part of it is that she really wants the other dog to play with her, too, and if they choose to play tug she's in heaven. But if not, she pesters them until they give up the toy.

Now, my older GSD, Trick, puts on a good display of wrinkling lips, growling and snapping but Tazer knows it's half-hearted and she always gets the toy. Eddie doesn't know this game, though. When Tazer tried to take his toy, Eddie got a bit upset at her. His entire body language said "back off!!" - stiff upright tail, ears back, lips wrinkled, growling, even snapping at her at one point. Mom was ready to separate them, and I told her to wait. And sure enough, Tazer managed to get the toy even though Eddie snapped at her and made her yelp. And the next time Eddie picked up a toy, Tazer was right there to try to get it again. 

After a bit they worked out how to play and Eddie started grabbing toys away from Tazer. It was really neat to see them work it out. 

I'm telling you all this just to illustrate that sometimes being able to have a group of known dogs together, and letting them work it out, is the best way to deal with it all. Eddie has a ways to go to be fully comfortable in the group, but he's learning. And Tazer is learning too, that she can't get a toy from anyone - and that she doesn't "own" all the toys. If you had the opportunity to have your dog spend time with a group of dogs you're comfortable with, it would probably end up being a very positive learning experience for your dog (and you - sitting back and observing is such a great way to learn dog behavior).

As far as worrying about dog diseases .. well, I just don't. Dogs build up a natural immunity through contact with other dogs and become healthier and less likely to come down with illnesses when they have a lot of interaction with others. Now, that doesn't mean that if I saw a dog with an obvious illness that I wouldn't keep my dogs away, but the general everyday germs help build immunity levels. The dogs that I raised in the vet clinic had wonderful immunity.

Melanie and the gang in Alaska


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## chruby (Sep 21, 2005)

Selzer..good points...









Sidewalk vs. dog park in my opinion is a totally different scenerio. You can carry mace or pepper spray for a lone dog on a walk that is aggressive and if assertive enough can often divert a problem with bravado. However in a dog park setting you really aren't aware of the dynamic going on with all the dogs. Therefore you cannot always thwart a problem. 

Anyhow, back to the op....take your chances with the dog park but again....bringing in MORE toys is a big mistake let alone expecting one to share a single toy. JMHO

Good luck.


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## hethir (Sep 25, 2008)

Mayzie!!!! I have the EXACT same problem down to the detail! Ok, this will be a novel, sorry!!! My year old GSD female used to be the MOST submissive, lovely dog until one day she realized OUT OF THE BLUE (at the dog park, she was an only dog at the time) that "keep away" was a fun game. This escalated to growling and barking, hackles raised and all whenever a dog tried to steal the ball back. If a dog was sniffing a certain spot, Posi would rudely scoot their nose and claim that smelling spot. She always tried to dominate by sitting on the other dogs. It never escalated beyond that but people were starting to be afraid of her at the park. 

WELL, this all happened about two months before we brought her little brother, 7 week old GSD, Clutch home. I was TERRIFIED!!! I called every trainer around and they all said the same thing: she learned this from other dogs at the dog park and if I am smart I will immediatly stop taking her there. I just about crapped my pants because I always thought the dog park was such a great place to socialize and it was SOOO MUCH FUN!!! NOT SO!

Here is the deal, in the year that I took my sweet Posi to the dog park, she got verbally abused with about 5 dogs while stuck on her back, witnessed a yellow lab attack a toy dog, had her toys stolen a million times, played with dogs with bad manners, got her leg chomped by a Pit bull, and the list goes on. All of those expierences formed her into a possesive dog.

Well, we brought clutch home and she turned into "mama" dog. She shared toys, food, water, let him win every wrestling tournament. Until about 3 weeks ago. Clutch in now 5 months and Posi threw in the towel on sharing. Just today we asked Clutch's trainer and she pretty much said only give them toys when CLOSELY supervised. 

I posted on here a few months ago and everyone said to give Posi something she loves whenever Clutch comes around her with a toy. She will learn to love it instead of resent it. It's hard to do that CONSTANTLY. Plus she gets into "crazy" mode with a toy (she's doing it now as I type) and can't be snapped out of it. Even with a treat. Plus I don't want her to think she's rewarded for growling. It's a struggle and I've pretty much given up because Clutch just walks away when she snaps and it's never more than growling. Everyone also told me not to just take the toy away because then she will start to bite him (since she cant warn him with growls.) I wish I could be more help! I guess I'm just a long winded sympathic ear!


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## hethir (Sep 25, 2008)

Oh, wow! I responded before reading any other responses and didn't mean to join the dog park debate! It's just what I chose for my dogs! I just get too nervous! 

So some people are saying, "sharing isn't a big deal" and some are saying, "it's important for my dog to share"... How on earth do you teach the dog to share? Take the toy away as punishment when the possesive dog "snaps"??? Get her attention and do obedience? I just can't seem to get her to care about anything in the world besides that toy!! Would the book "Mine" help us, too?


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## jake (Sep 11, 2004)

If as they say a smart GSD has the mentality of a 4-5 year old child not sure sharing is something that should be expected.Giving anything up to pack leader is expected in a well socialized member of pack-SHARING not so sure.


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## hethir (Sep 25, 2008)

Haha! I've never heard that but that's a good point!


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