# "Your Dog Doesn't Love You."



## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

While reading a training website, k9copsonly.com, under the category of laws of dog training, I came upon this quote:
_"Your dog doesn’t love you, he can’t read your mind, and he doesn’t understand everything you say."_

This obviously gave me pause, so I did a little research, and found this:
_
Jon Katz, who has written extensively on the bond between humans and dogs, says that what pets offer is neither unconditional, nor love.
"Dogs develop very strong, instinctive attachments to the people who feed and care for them," said Katz. "Over 15,000 years of domestication, they've learned to trick us into thinking that they love us. "

What about the nuzzling? The big, adoring eyes? The wagging glee with which they greet us?

They're all part of what Katz refers to as the "opportunistic, manipulative behavior" that's second nature to dogs.
Not to say that they're canine con artists.
"It's just how their instincts have evolved," Katz said. "Dogs aren't deceptive any more than they're sentimental, loyal, nostalgic, witty or bitter.They don't have a narrative mind or the language to have those sorts of human qualities," said Katz. 

Imagining otherwise is part of what he calls the "Disney Dog" idea so many of us buy into.

Their attachment is, in fact, "extremely conditional," Katz said. "They'll respond to anyone who gives them food and attention. I have a wonderful Labrador retriever who's very happy here. But if you had hamburger meat on you, she'd gladly go to Chicago with you and never look back."
_
Well, then. 
I can't decide what to think about this. 
I thought about those times when our dogs stand guard over us when we are sick, or how they seem to give us comfort when we are crying.
I do remember Cesar Millan saying this isn't love, but the dog sensing weakness in the owners, something that alarms dogs. 

It's not the animal trying to comfort us, he says. It is their being uncomfortable with owners sending out weak vibes. 
I have also read accounts of dog trainers laughing behind owners' backs when the owners say they think the dog offers unconditional love. 


Hmmmm... :thinking: what do you think?


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

I don't know what to think about that. All three of my dogs would not have followed someone to Chicago even for food. In fact, both of my shepherds don't/didn't even take treats from others half the time. Rocket is the worst for accepting treats from strangers or people he doesn't know, and it's kind of embarrassing at the pet store, heh. 

I know that everyone in my household loves him, they have all spent time "training" him and the kids and DH feed him half the time, so why does he follow me and lay with me almost exclusively? Even when I'm working and gone 60 hours a week? Why doesn't he start following DH who spends the majority of the day with him then? 

Interesting article. I'll be curious to see what others have to say.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

PS-- I doubt any of our GSDs would gladly go with someone else and never look back, if said person "had hamburger meat." 
I don't think it's in their nature. 
Or am I kidding myself?


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

RocketDog said:


> I don't know what to think about that. All three of my dogs would not have followed someone to Chicago even for food. In fact, both of my shepherds don't/didn't even take treats from others half the time. Rocket is the worst for accepting treats from strangers or people he doesn't know, and it's kind of embarrassing at the pet store, heh.
> 
> I know that everyone in my household loves him, they have all spent time "training" him and the kids and DH feed him half the time, so why does he follow me and lay with me almost exclusively? Even when I'm working and gone 60 hours a week? Why doesn't he start following DH who spends the majority of the day with him then?
> 
> Interesting article. I'll be curious to see what others have to say.


We posted almost at the same time about the burger thing. 
And yes, I can't wait to hear what everyone has to say, because I have been thinking a lot about this lately.
I know dogs can't love, and I mean by the definition humans give that emotion-- but surely, they do bond and show affection.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

I am not a dog so I don't think I know what goes on between those ears and neither does anyone who says they do.


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

Wasn't there just something in the news about two shelter dogs? The one got adopted without the other one and went back like 10 miles to the shelter and was found standing outside by the other dog's kennel? So the adopting family of the first ended up taking the second one too? Surely that shows they make some sort of bonds?


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## mandiah89 (Jan 18, 2013)

I think dogs do have an emotional attachment to their owner(s) to an extent, would I consider it "love" as I know what love is between humans, No, BUT they do have emotional attachements to us that we as humans perceive as love. Diesel would never have gone with a stranger no matter what treat or "meat" they had with them to entice her, she was not food motivated and never took treats from strangers, and even though Penny is food motivated she looks to me as if to ask if it is ok before she will take a treat from the ladies at the pet store or anyone else, they are/were bonded to me and looked to me for guidance, reassurance, affection, protection ect.


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## Rangers-mom (Jan 28, 2013)

While I think that it is true that dogs have evolved to be so cute and appear so loyal that they pull the wool over our eyes and make us think a lot more of them than is probably their due, I also think it is unlikely that they are completely devoid of the emotions of loyalty and love. I am sure that either of my dogs could go to another home and live a happy healthy life with a new family and provide that family with the dog equivalent of love. However that does not mean that they do not have "doggy" love for my family and for each other. Anyone that has seen how sad a animal is when it loses a family member or how happy and proud that animal is with a birth must believe that animals feel love. Just look at the smiling happy face of a momma dog as she sits amist her litter of pups.

What I am saying is that while my dog doesn't love me in the same way I love my husband or kids (ie, if my dog lost me he would not mourn for the rest of his life), I still think that while I am in his life I am very important to him and he would do things for me that might mimack love.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

There is also this:
Dog Mourns at Casket of Fallen Navy SEAL | Dogster


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## jae (Jul 17, 2012)

How very existential... 
Personally, I do my best not to humanize dogs. I get angry when people say that crating them is abuse, or making them wait for food is torture, or not letting them on the furniture or beds makes them feel bad, making them walk in the cold is unfair... yes all that, I have been told. Why humanize dogs by allowing all the above? We see in apes the emotions and structure that may be the basis for human feelings and relationships, but why translate these psychological findings to canines? They may well be capable of emotion, but is it really accurate? I don't know.

He does seem to have a point, especially with the burger and lab. 
But he contradicts himself, says that "opportunistic manipulative behavior" and right after, "They don't have a narrative mind or the language to have those sorts of human qualities,"

Poorly written, but I certainly see his point.

I really think that all creatures high and low need a purpose in life. Depending on the mental capabilities of the creature in question, the different parts of Maslow's hierarchy need to be met. Canines really fall only into the lowest bits, meeting their physiological needs above all, guarding their territory (safety), staying as a pack (belonging)... Well, even after domestication, these needs still MUST be met. Humans provide the outlet for these needs to be met. 

Often, I hear, the dog works to please the handler. I really disagree with this, honestly I believe that the dog works to please HIMSELF, the handler just empowers the dog in the work it does, the dog enjoys the work, the dog has a purpose in life, the dog is provided with BELONGING through this. Further, their owners provide territory and physiological satisfaction. 

Think of the dogs that seem to be depressed when their owner is not around. What are they really thinking? Well, who knows. But I speculate that they are lacking their belonging, and their safety, yes their physiological needs are being met, but certain creatures clearly have a higher mental capacity to require something more. Canines are one of them. 
What about dogs who are re-homed, more often than not (never heard of a not) they do just fine with the new family. Why?


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## Rangers-mom (Jan 28, 2013)

Oh, let me add that Some of the Seeing Eye dogs fail because they are too attached to the family that raised them and they go into a deep depression when they are returned to the Seeing Eye training facility. Usually those dogs are shepherds. The labs are much better at dealing with change.


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

I admit I struggle a little about the humanization of dogs. While I do think there is truth that "love" isn't the same in the canine world as it is in the human world, there are similarities. But I don't believe love is truly conditional, just as we sees the faults in each other, they do see the faults in us

I remember a photo that I saw on facebook of a golden retriever and a little girl with the caption, "did you know that when a dog sees it's owner brain secretes the same substance as ours when we are in love"

I believe the pack instinct is still very strong in most dogs, I see it in Jazzy who NEEDS to be with me at all costs. I don't say this lightly but I *know* she would run across hot coals if I was on the other side calling her. She loves my family, we visit often and she adores my brother but she's my dog through and through. If I put a fresh juicy cheeseburger on the ground and walked away from it and called her, she'd come without touching the food.

But is that love? I don't think it's fully conditional, I do make mistakes and she forgives them. If I held out a chunk of a cheap milkbone cookie and someone else held out a piece of bacon, she'd choose the cookie I offered. If I made her sleep in the basement rather then on my bed, she'd still come running to me in the morning. That's the type of dog she is.

Now Delgado on the other hand, he's much more independent then Jazzy. He's confident and sure, one of his nicknames is Mr. Destructo because he bulldozes through things without hesitation. But he's by my side in a heartbeat if called or checking in on me. If I did the hot coal thing, I think he'd hesitate and look at all options first but then brave it and come running. If I did the food test, I think he'd run to the bacon first then me. But then again try to take him farther then 5' away from me, he'd buck and lunge to pull them back in my direction. He'd go into the car if they pulled him by leash but once he realize I wasn't there or family, he'd freak

But does that mean my bond is Jazzy is stronger? Or that Delgado loves me less? No, it just means Jazzy is dependant and Delgado is independant, and that's just their nature. 

Excellent discussion topic


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

Sunflowers said:


> PS-- I doubt any of our GSDs would gladly go with someone else and never look back, if said person "had hamburger meat."
> I don't think it's in their nature.
> Or am I kidding myself?


Delgado's food drive is pretty high, he'll do tricks for affection or toys but food is very high on his reward. But then again only to a certain degree

In the basic training class we were working on recall, we first did short recalls, then long recalls, then out of sight recalls. The trainer took Delgado first to do the out of sight recall which was the trainer taking them to the foyer and we would call them back to us. He FOUGHT the trainer, deaked and dodged like mad to try and get past her even when she offered him high value treats. It took over five minutes of fighting madly before he calmed just enough she allowed me to call him.

I called him and she didn't even have time to move back before he BOLTED through that door and made a beeline for me. He literally almost knocked her off her feet, and he was only 5 months old at the time. The class laughed and even the trainer had to admit I probably would have very little issues with his recall 

He's gladly eat treats from anyone, but if the person feeding treats tried to take him away his brain clicks pretty fast from yay food!! To HEY! Where's my mom!


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I find it very sad that some people have never experianced the true bond that only a dog can provide. That bond has to be earned, by the human. It isn't given freely. 

There was a poster (I apologize and feel horrible that I've forgotten which one) who told of a story where her beloved GSD was killed by a snake. That snake was aiming for the human, but the dog jumped in front of the snake as was bitten. Sadly, the dog lost it's life. Was that dog just playing 'Disney Dog?' Did the human teach the dog to forget it's natural instinct for self preservation? I can only pray that I mean as much to my dogs as she meant to her dog. 

I had a GSD as a child who hated water. Yet she freely jumped into a swimming pool and bit the face of a man who was attempting to rape me. Disney Dog? 

Total hogwash written by folks who don't have the ability or have never truly bonded with their dog.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Lilie said:


> the dog jumped in front of the snake as was bitten. Sadly, the dog lost it's life. Was that dog just playing 'Disney Dog?' Did the human teach the dog to forget it's natural instinct for self preservation?


Prey drive, maybe? 
The dog could not have been able to realize that the snake could kill him, and make the decision to sacrifice himself.


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

My trainer has said, Fiona loves me. Then later says she doesn't love me like I love her. I can understand that. She is not much of a comforter, hopefully that will come later. I was sobbing the other day over a dog on here and all she did was turn around look at me and then go on with her business. Thankfully I haven't had a great need for comfort when sick or upset. The best thing she does is adapt her needs to me when I am in too much pain to exercise her. She doesn't get destructive and I think she is a little more willing to let me pet here.
I think that we as owner use our own emotions to put them on dogs. For example, if I had a friend I saw every day for months, then I started only seeing her once a week, I would be sad. So I expect Fiona to be sad when I leave her home alone for an hour or two. I want her to miss me, because I would interpret that to mean she loves me. However, their doggie experience is different, maybe she is sad for other reasons, she didn't get to ride in the car, she doesn't like to be alone, she doesn't get run of the house like she does when I am home, etc.



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## MichaelE (Dec 15, 2012)

Until Lisl tells me otherwise, I'll just believe that she does and be happy about it.


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## SueDoNimm (Jul 3, 2012)

jae said:


> Think of the dogs that seem to be depressed when their owner is not around. What are they really thinking? Well, who knows. But I speculate that they are lacking their belonging, and their safety, yes their physiological needs are being met, but certain creatures clearly have a higher mental capacity to require something more.


I have a neighbor who has a retriever mix who is extremely attached to him. She loves the other family members and isn't aloof to strangers, but where he goes, she goes. She acts mad and upset if he is gone too long and is just plain weird when he's not around. She takes velcro dog to the extreme.

Jerry's first family, the ones who bought him from the breeder as a puppy, had a little girl. I don't know how old she was, but old enough to have her listed as the owner at the vet and on his AKC registration (they filled them out, but never sent them in). He loves my little girls, but always watches other little girls he sees and acts like he wants to go meet them. Most strangers he just ignores. I always wonder if he's still looking for his first little girl.

He also gets extremely excited when I get home, even if someone is already home with him. My fiance feeds him about as often as I do, and certainly pays plenty of attention to him, but I do most of the exercising/training. When I get home and my fiance is already there, Jerry still acts like he's been alone for hours. If I am home and my fiance arrives, Jerry may not even go greet him. I don't know if this means he loves me more or is more bonded to me or what, but it's definitely something. Maybe it's just excitement because he thinks we'll go for a walk.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Rangers-mom said:


> Oh, let me add that Some of the Seeing Eye dogs fail because they are too attached to the family that raised them and they go into a deep depression when they are returned to the Seeing Eye training facility. Usually those dogs are shepherds. The labs are much better at dealing with change.


Good point. The GSD as breed was bred to partner w/ a human. They worked with one shepherd.I know Lucky who is by no means the standard GSD will be petted and fed by a visitor or family member but he follows me.He will follow hubby around but he still takes abreak by checking in to see where Im at. I seriously thought Stephanwitz saw loyalty as one of the breed standards. I dont think Lucky loves me like a human relative loves me b/c he doesnt have our cognitive ability or thought patterns.Which is probably why no matter what dumb thing I did he still is excited to see me. He does not get real excited about anyone else but my husband. Daisy loved our son and did the happy dance when ever he walked in the house . I personally know its love just in a different form. The fact that Katz doesn't believe that is love,well Im not sure I'm as surprised by that after reading all his books.


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

jae said:


> But he contradicts himself, says that "opportunistic manipulative behavior" and right after, "They don't have a narrative mind or the language to have those sorts of human qualities,"
> 
> Poorly written, *but I certainly see his point.*


I don't. His contradiction glared right at me. You can't say "opportunistic manipulative behavior" as the basis for defending a claim of lack of love, but then say they don't have a narrative mind. Utter rubbish.


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## FlyAway (Jul 17, 2012)

Did you ever see the TV series about what would happen if all the people on earth suddenly disappeared? The first thing that would happen is all the pets would die. Those who are lucky enough to be outside and big and strong could survive by eating smaller animals. But the point is, dogs depend on us. 

I don't believe it's love. It's a bond of trust. They have learned to adapt to us, much like the empathic metamorph bride on Star Trek Next Generation. That is why they prefer to be with us, or won't accept food from others. They trust us. It's a symbiotic relationship where they get food shelter and protection in return for doing their "job". 

Dog study our every action. They learn what behaviours, including facial expressions, work to get what they want: food, a walk, a nice scratch.

Dogs get rehomed all the time. They learn to adapt to a new owner. The only thing is the dogs who stand guard over their owner's grave. But I have seen dogs who have bad owners gravitate towards strangers. 

There's an interesting book, "Your Dog is Your Mirror". I have only started reading it, but boy is it right on about how dogs become what we are. Your Dog Is Your Mirror: The Emotional Capacity of Our Dogs and Ourselves: Kevin Behan: 9781608680887: Amazon.com: Books


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## Valerae (Jun 13, 2011)

I don't care what label you slap on it, the bond I feel with my GSD FEELS like love on my end.

My in-laws are all dog people and my brother-in-law, after spending a day with us, commented about the way my Wrigley looks at me and that the two of us were fortunate to have found each other.

We fostered for the first time over the holidays. I grew so attached to the foster puppy. We did the home visit and left him at his new home - a really fantastic, good-fit of a family - but part of me was so devastated. I sobbed the whole way home. When we returned, I sat on the couch to catch my breath and let it sink in...that's when I snapped the picture below. Like I said, maybe it's not love, but it sure feels like it.


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## gsdlover91 (Jul 21, 2012)

I think dogs are capable of an emotion similar to love. To say they are just conning us is ridiculous. Half the time my dog doesn't even want food from me... And yes in sure maybe he'd want hamburger meat from someone, but he'd check to make sure I'm coming with. He wouldn't ever go to Chicago ( well I live here lol) with someone else. This dog never leaves my side. I think this is all a bunch of bologna, bc yes what about the military dogs who mourn?? What about the dogs who go to their owners graves? (I read about a shepherd who slept at his owners grave every night, but would return to the family in the day). They don't love how we love, but they do love. My dog acts differently when I'm not home. Even though my mom is there feeding him and giving him attention. He goes and lays on my bed, or waits by the door. 


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## jae (Jul 17, 2012)

And then there is the philosophy of Iggy Pop


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I DO know that dogs do whatever works for them. Then there is this unknown area that, I think, we cannot point our fingers on; love, loyalty, trust etc. I think dogs and humans have a mutual interest in being together and no matter what you call it, it feels good. That's why I have dogs and they have me.


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

So I just got back from a little hike with Rocket. We have to cross a creek on the way in and back out--he always lays down in it on the way home :rollseyes: This makes him frisky too--he jumps around, does the play bow and runs butt-tucking like mad until I start chasing him and hiding from him. He does not play with strangers like this--just us in the family. 

I think dogs can be re-homed and still have affection and a bond because, well, we don't just find one or two people we are friends with or marry/go out with, do we? Dogs can like and form attachments to many people typically.


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## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

Jon Katz is a quirky guy. If you are familiar with his books and his blog, he holds some unconventional thoughts. He is not a touchy-feely mushy pet owner. His dogs are true working dogs, expected to work. It doesn't surprise me that he might doubt a dog capable of love. That being said, it is obvious from his writings that he loves his dogs, past and presents, deeply.

He is also a humble man. I think if he were to know his words were being discussed, he would say it was just one man's opinion.

I think the statement can be argued either way, it really comes down to what YOU want to believe, since there is no way to ever know.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Sunflowers said:


> Prey drive, maybe?
> The dog could not have been able to realize that the snake could kill him, and make the decision to sacrifice himself.


I partly disagree. The dog may not have known the snake would kill him. But surely, the dog could sense his handler's emotions as she attempted to jump away from the snake. Very much the same as a dog could sense the true emotions from it's handler if they were to be attacked by an intruder. 

The dog sensed danger, yet made the decision to place it'self between the danger and the handler.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

I like this 

_"Love is simple to define
But it seldom happens in the series of beings
Through these dogs we pay homage to love
And to its possibility

What is a dog but a machine for loving
You introduce him to a human being giving him the mission to love
And however ugly, perverse, deformed or stupid this human being might be
The dog loves him, the dog loves him._"




jae said:


> And then there is the philosophy of Iggy Pop
> 
> Iggy Pop - A Machine For Loving [10] - YouTube


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Lilie said:


> I partly disagree. The dog may not have known the snake would kill him. But surely, the dog could sense his handler's emotions as she attempted to jump away from the snake. Very much the same as a dog could sense the true emotions from it's handler if they were to be attacked by an intruder.
> 
> The dog sensed danger, yet made the decision to place it'self between the danger and the handler.


Very good point. Thank you for that.


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## sunsets (Oct 25, 2012)

What an interesting discussion! I agree we probably shouldn't think that dogs "love" in the way that humans do. But they absolutely form emotional bonds and interact with us in ways unique to each dog-human pair. 

And as RocketDog pointed out - humans can like and love all sorts of other humans over their lifetimes, why can't dogs?

I think what we should take away from Katz's assertion is that we need to be very careful in ascribing human emotion to animal behavior. We get ourselves in a lot of trouble assuming that our dogs are "thinking" as we do. They aren't - they operate under different conditions. Conditions that work for us and for them, but they are still a different species.

I see the same thing with horses and horse owners. People assume because a horse "likes" them, the horse will never, ever, do anything bad. That goes out the window when the horse (which is really just a friendly large domesticated prey animal) perceives danger and the flight instinct kicks in. You can train horses to overcome that ingrained behavior, but you can't expect them to react "rationally" to every surprise they encounter. 

But just like dogs, horses are very social - they definitely have horsey and human friends and enemies, and they do bond with their people. Even though they are capable of killing us completely by accident.


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## Freddy (Apr 23, 2009)

I don't think love is exclusively a human emotion. Many species spend their lives together and show devotion towards their mate. In humans, this is called love, why is it not possible in other species? It's already been mentioned that when it sees it's owner, a dog excretes the same hormone a human does when they are in love. 

My own example: It is my wife's exclusive duty to feed, water, and let the dogs out to do their business. The intent was for her to build a bond with them, especially my male. When I am home, she is non existent to him. When I am home, he plays with his kong and goughnut, when I'm gone he doesn't touch them. He is by my side all the time. If I take a nap, she has to kennel him to keep him from whining by the door. He is extremely food motivated, and each meal is eaten like it's his last but he'd rather be with me if she's holding the food bowl. I release him. 

He is respectful to her, and somewhat obedient. He's also affectionate towards her and my son but he is my dog. If I'm gone for an hour, when I get home it's like it was forever since he's seen me. If my wife is gone all day and she comes home, she gets sniffed and a few wags of the tail and then back to dad. 

Love, loyalty, devotion, opportunism, etc. I think a lot of terms can be used but to claim love is exclusively a human emotion is a mistake, IMO.


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## KSdogowner (Jun 22, 2011)

I don't think we will ever really completely understand what love means in a dog's reality. What we do see however, are expressions that are similar of what we determine to be love. We see neglected and abused dogs coming into Rescue flourish and turn into completely different animals under the loving care of their handlers. If love can't be perceived or expressed by a dog, how is it then possible for them to respond so positively to it? The point I am trying to make is that if a dog doesn't understand love, then how is it possible that they respond to love and consequently benefit from it's effects? Is it possible to respond to something you don't know exists? I don't think so.

So, to me, animals know and express love but may not have the contemplative capabilities humans have to decide whether an expression of love is appropriate or not.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

Then how comes that everytime MaDeuce sees her old owner she's going batpoop crazy over her? She doesn't get anything out of it. Obviously she is at home with me but she is super happy about seeing her. 

What about the dog that laid at the Soldiers casket, mourning? What about those dogs that wouldn't leave their owners grave, or the dog that came to the train station every single day to pick up his owner? 

Dogs are much more than just con artists.


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

When I think about Jack and the behaviors that dominate his relationship with me, I see a Loyal, Obedient, Vigilant, and Empathetic creature....

I'm content to call that L.O.V.E.!

May not be human love, but I'm totally content with puppy love from my pups 


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

jae said:


> How very existential...
> Personally, I do my best not to humanize dogs. I get angry when people say that crating them is abuse, or making them wait for food is torture, or not letting them on the furniture or beds makes them feel bad, making them walk in the cold is unfair... yes all that, I have been told. Why humanize dogs by allowing all the above? We see in apes the emotions and structure that may be the basis for human feelings and relationships, but why translate these psychological findings to canines? They may well be capable of emotion, but is it really accurate? I don't know.
> 
> He does seem to have a point, especially with the burger and lab.
> ...


Problem is with generalizing dogs. Dogs are individuals. They feel pain, happyness, mourn. They have hunger, thirst, feel the cold or heat. Some are insecure, others outgoing and bold. Dogs can fear certain people and love others. They recognize fear or authority in humans.

Some do well with rehoming others dont. Before I had re-homed my female I would have said the same, that dogs have no issues settling in but my female proves everyone otherwise. She is back home now and will stay. Never again will I give her up. 



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## Mac's Mom (Jun 7, 2010)

jocoyn said:


> I am not a dog so I don't think I know what goes on between those ears and neither does anyone who says they do.


You took the words right out of my mouth. I was thinking the exact same thing.

Sometimes I say I wish I knew what they were actually thinking but then I realize its better this way...perception is reality  If I perceive it as love then it is


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## Glamisfoxgurl182 (Jun 14, 2012)

I personally thing dogs love us. At least I think my boy does. it cant be about the food or care. I found/rescued my boy one night after work. He was only with me for a few hours. Left for work the next day, he got out but NEVER left the house. he just hung out in the driveway waiting for me to get home. Theres got to be more then just a bond there. We spent maybe 6 hours together from the point I found him to when I left for work. 
It was true love from the beginning. Love at first sight!


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## Mac's Mom (Jun 7, 2010)

Sunflowers said:


> While reading a training website, k9copsonly.com, under the category of laws of dog training, I came upon this quote:
> _"Your dog doesn’t love you, he can’t read your mind, and he doesn’t understand everything you say." _
> 
> This obviously gave me pause, so I did a little research, and found this:
> ...


I understand that humans and animals are different. But reading this post is actually making me think we are a lot less different than I originally thought.


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## skier16 (Feb 21, 2013)

I dont know if you watch those military home coming videos where the dogs go crazy makes me think their is something more going on. whether its love or not I dont know but I certainly dont think its the dog being tricky or or deceiving or whatever that guy says.


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## MadLab (Jan 7, 2013)

My dogs do love me and i love them. lol


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## jae (Jul 17, 2012)

Mrs.K said:


> Problem is with generalizing dogs. Dogs are individuals. They feel pain, happyness, mourn. They have hunger, thirst, feel the cold or heat. Some are insecure, others outgoing and bold. Dogs can fear certain people and love others. They recognize fear or authority in humans.
> 
> Some do well with rehoming others dont. Before I had re-homed my female I would have said the same, that dogs have no issues settling in but my female proves everyone otherwise. She is back home now and will stay. Never again will I give her up.
> 
> ...


Not sure of your dog and your story, but relating it right back to Maslow's heirarchy (which by the way, is a HUMAN structure, but generalizing it to the animal kingdom, since humans, after all, are of Mammalia) ... it may be attributable, could it be? that the dog did not feel the new home could satisfy her belonging or her safety as well as what she had known. You may have a different structure to her life that she did require, that the new home could not provide.

Satisfaction, that is what these dogs do look for; this is the reason I that believe is the basis that reputable and knowledgeable breeders and rescues search - or should search - for a home to match the dog, not the other way around.


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## BruinsMom (Apr 2, 2013)

Viewed in a clinical way, human bonds could be seen in exactly the same way as this writer describes canine bonds. We could break down friendship and marriage and chalk it up to personal gain as well. Ultimately that is part of the reason that our hormones that enabled these relationships evolved, so that we can survive. We can define the word love in so many ways whether it is between humans or humans and pets. It is a series of hormones that allow our brains to experience feelings like love. Under these definitions even if a dog is just following instinct which produces these hormones, to me that is still love which is the same as ours. As usual, humans think our experiences are above all other species.


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## RowdyDogs (Nov 12, 2012)

I have often said, "Your dog doesn't love you," to friends of mine, but it's because they over-humanize their dogs and interpret things like resource guarding as love or lack thereof. I say it to counter the tendency to romanticize bad behavior or not deal with it ("but Fluffy only attacks our guests because she loves me!") and because usually said behaviors *don't* stem from love but rather from fear, not because it's totally accurate, if that makes sense. It's true in the context of the behavior, but not necessarily overall.

But I think it's underestimating dogs to think that they can't feel love. BruinsMom is right...you could make an argument that humans don't feel love either. And I know for a fact that at least one of my dogs wouldn't choose someone else over me just because they have treats, because we've BTDT...my dog went missing for about 2 weeks, found out someone else had him and never bothered to check for a microchip (I suspect that said person did so on purpose, but that's another story). When I drove up the dude was hand-feeding him meat, and my dog still came running as soon as I stepped out of the car, and from then on the guy who found him might as well have not existed. So yeah, at least one dog wouldn't follow someone just for treats.  It was a small town and I actually knew the guy too, and I know he treats his animals very well...my dog was almost certainly more spoiled at that guy's house than he is at mine. Yet he still "chose" me.

I think it's important not to romanticize our relationships with our dogs, but I also think they're not robots. They don't love us by default, and they may not love us in the same way we love them, but I also don't believe for a minute that there's no emotion there.


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

Reading thru the tread I was thinking isn't human love being loyal, adapting to each other, being alarmed if something is wrong with the other, forgiving? Aren't we opportunistic and manipulative to each other to get our ways? Kinda sounds the same.


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