# Never knew it would be this hard



## LMDAVE (Jun 28, 2006)

I'm glad this forum has such a spot for talking about this.

Yesterday I had to have Kane put to rest due to being in the final stages of kidney failure. He was 10 years old. The final stage came on so quick. 

He was definitely my heart dog. I am married with 2 step children, but Kane was with me before they entered my life, and him and I always had a special attachment. 

My father passed away last year, and I grieved, but not near the amount I am over this loss.

What I think will be the hardest is life without him. Eventhough others are in the house, I immediately have this loss of security at my own home. 

Anyway, I can only write so much right now.

I made this video tribute of him last night.


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs: It's never easy even when it's the kindest thing to do. The best information I can give is let yourself grieve: cry, scream, talk it out, whatever it takes to let the grief out. Then whevever you're ready, whether it's today or 5 years from now hopefully you can open your heart to another dog which can help heal some of the pain

I remember each one of the animals I've lost and my family has lost, I take comfort in believing that I will see them again some day and they're waiting painfree and happy for me to join them. I don't see it as disrespectful or bad to open your heart again


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## KatsMuse (Jun 5, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss! 
I love the video tribute. 
Kane was gorgeous and will be sorely missed.

:rip: Kane

Kat


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## 1sttimeforgsd (Jul 29, 2010)

So sorry for the loss of your precious boy, dwell on the great memories that the two of you made together. The pain of his loss will always be with you but the pain will lesson with time. Run free at the bridge handsome boy, run free. :rip:


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss  Rest in Peace Kane. That was a really nice tribute for him.


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## Gretchen (Jan 20, 2011)

How empty you must feel now with Kane gone. Very sorry. Their time with us is too short.


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## LMDAVE (Jun 28, 2006)

Thanks everyone for the kind responses. If ever I need a day of bereavement from work, it was today, but used the remainder of my comp time yesterday dealing with this (Its amazing how some companies only care about their bottom line and keeping lost time down.) Fortunately I have sort of a lab environment area I can escape to for the majority of the day.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

So sorry for your loss. You had 10 years with him. I know how it feels, I am in the middle of it. I curled up in a ball for three days and didn't see anyone nor did I want to. It takes a lot out of you, let it happen; it is the only way to go through it. Much strength for you.


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## pyratemom (Jan 10, 2011)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is never easy. I lost my big guy last summer and I still miss him. One day you will meet again on the other side.


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## jang (May 1, 2011)

Beautiful tribute and tremendous loss..My most sincere sympathies to you and your family..


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

I just cried watching this video. They leave us much to soon. They are the sweetest things on this Earth and do not deserve to suffer. They also aren't around long enough. No matter what they do or what they destroy, it doesn't matter, because all of that can be replaced. The memories will never go away. I am very sorry for your loss, may your sweet boy rest in peace.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

sorry for your loss but a parent loss is much more than a dog loss (for
me).




LMDAVE said:


> I'm glad this forum has such a spot for talking about this.
> 
> Yesterday I had to have Kane put to rest due to being in the final stages of kidney failure. He was 10 years old. The final stage came on so quick.
> 
> ...


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## Apple (Jun 21, 2013)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Kane was beautiful, and he will be waiting to see you again at the rainbow bridge. :hug:


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## LMDAVE (Jun 28, 2006)

Thanks again for your responses.

And, DoggieDad, I hope I wasn't misunderstood. I wasn't attempting to rank the losses, the statement was made because I couldn't explain it much myself. Maybe since I've been own my own for 20 years and Kane had been lying against me daily for the last 10 years, the connection was much fresher and harder to let go of.


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## buckeye1 (Jun 17, 2013)

I'm sorry for your loss. Have not seen the video yet, can't view on my phone. Putting down a dog can't be easy. I have had my male cat for nearly 14 yrs. I know someday I will have to do the same. I don't know what I will do. Like your story, it was just me and Pepper for about 3 yrs. before I met my wife. I know its a cat and not a dog but we have bonded over the years. I told my wife I don't know what I will do without him. I will feel empty inside. Again I'm sorry for your loss. 
Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## BellaLuna (Jan 27, 2013)

Very sorry for your loss 

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Bridget (Apr 5, 2004)

I am so sorry for you loss of Kane.


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## LMDAVE (Jun 28, 2006)

Yesterday got better towards the end of the work day, until I got home and walked in and it was the first time in 10 years he wasn't there.

We made a box later that night that we all put something of his in for burial out back, and that helped.

I find myself still remembering the recent memories right now. Even in his failing condition he showed excitement to hear the words "go for a ride" and got up, and I gave him a comfortable spot and we rode around. I miss him.


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

What a wonderful, loving tribute to a friend. It kind of sums it up nicely: please, please, please won't you stay just a little bit longer?

I am sorry for your loss. The importance Kane played in your life is clear. What a great gift you were to each other.
Sheilah


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## etorres (Jul 31, 2013)

wish you well , sorry for the lost of Buddy . I had to put my Last Gsd to sleep 2 Years ago due to Cancer , it was hard but he was in pain and i did not want him to suffer anymore . it took me two years later to get my Current Gsd i am more happier and thankful he is around now . gsd from the island of Guam.


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## jafo220 (Mar 16, 2013)

Wow! I can safely say, my eye's are alittle watery. It brings back so much from my own loss a few years back. 

Your right, it's not easy. It will take time but time is not a cure all. It just masks the loss. My wife and I still welp up out of the blue when we see something that reminds us of Rocky. But remember, they will always be alive in our memories. 

Here is a little verse out of a song I listened to alot after loosing Rocky. The song is "Blackbird", and is performed by Alter Bridge. It was one way I delt with my loss. I hope not to offend, but when I read your thread and well this is what came to mind.....

_*Ascend may you find no resistance*_
_*Know that you made such a difference*_
_*All you leave behind will live to the end*_

_*The cycle of suffering goes on*_
_*But memories of you stay strong*_
_*Someday I too will fly and find you again*_


I am truely sorry for your loss.


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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

Yeah man, it's a tough row to hoe. Don't have advice or the like, but I know the feeling. I just recently got a new dog and it's helping tons. Not that dogs are interchangeable or anything, it's just I have new challenges and discoveries coming down the pipe now.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

I'm sitting here bawling over that beautiful tribute video you made for Kane, I can feel your pain over his loss. 

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
David M. Romano - 1993

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
The sun will rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
Remembering how I'd lay my head
In your lap that special way.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me.
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And petted me with her hand.
She said my place was ready,
In Heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But, as I turned to heel away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I never thought
That I would have to die.

I had so much to live for,
So many sits and downs to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought about our lives together,
I know you must be sad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

Remember how I'd nudge your hand,
And poke you with my nose?
The frisbee I would gladly chase,
The bad guy, I'd "bark and hold".

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I'd wag my tail and kiss you,
Just so I could see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Will take the place of me.
And when I thought of treats and toys,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My dog-heart filled with sorrow.

But then I walked through Heaven's gate,
And felt so much at home;
As God looked down and smiled at me,
From His beautiful golden throne.

He said, “This is eternity,
And now we welcome you,
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew. 
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
For you see, each day's the same day,
There's no longing for the past.
Now you have been so faithful,
So trusting, loyal and true;
Though there were times you did things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But good dogs are forgiven,
And now at last you're free;
So won't you sit here by my side,
And wait right here with me?” 

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right there, in your heart.


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## LMDAVE (Jun 28, 2006)

Thanks for the nice words and poems.

Hard to believe it's been a week. Still have memories of the procedure at the vet, but don't regret staying there and holding him during it.

Things are getting better at home. In a way its made me and wife a little closer, not that we had a problems before. We both remember the good memories or funny ones, like when I kissed my wife for the first time at my home, Kane jumped right in the middle of it, we would always refer back to that.

Anyway, life slowly is moving on. I do have that friend who keeps telling me that I have to get another dog, he wanted me looking for one during Kane's final days, I just don't agree with telling someone what they should be doing. Kane's memory is still fresh, I'll know if and when the time is right.


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## Greg (Jun 23, 2010)

Sorry for your loss and I really enjoyed the video. Somehow it made me feel good. I just lost my Lucy on Saturday, she was almost 11. It's very hard, good luck to you, we are both walking this road at the same time.


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## Cheerful1 (Sep 27, 2011)

Very sorry for your loss.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I am walking along too. It's been three weeks since WD and I had to part. It still hurts like crazy. I haven't had the guts to even watch that video yet.


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## GSDLADY_2 (Aug 23, 2013)

*sorry for your loss*

I lost my girl today....totally unexpected and my heart aches.

as I posted on other forums....I have had GSD's for 40 years...usually two at a time, male and female.

I understand your loss and grief.....each of us will handle it differently. I can't even vacuum the rug because her fur is all over the place or put her bowls away

I plan to either rescue one or get a puppy....I have rescued three before and they were all loyal and loving....that will help my grief is to love yet another one

I hope as the days pass your sadness will ease and your memories will bring smiles to you and your family


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## LMDAVE (Jun 28, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the feeling of not wanting to clean the hair.

The strangest thing happen to me at work a week or so back. I work at a big facility, and a company email went out about a young GSD dog that wandered on site and if anyone wanted to give him a home, and they sent pictures. It was just so strange to be going thru my loss and not being ready for another GSD yet, to see this. 

And then they sent this picture which made it even worse:

http://pic90.picturetrail.com/VOL2150/904309/21260953/407445892.jpg

He looked so much like Kane in his eyes, and I kept telling my wife, I know this sounds crazy, I felt like it's Kane coming looking for me. I couldn't get myself to go to the other building to see him, and at worst, if I opened my heart and made the decision to want to rescue him then went over there, what if someone would have got him before me? Which they did, but I had made the decision to no go look. At least he has a home now.


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## GSDBESTK9 (Mar 26, 2002)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Frid (Aug 23, 2013)

Sorry to hear of your loss. R.I.P.


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

So sorry for your loss. I miss the greetings, companionship and security my boys gave me too. Within 2 weeks of clipper going to the bridge I was offered 2 gsds, one the vet office knew about and the other a friend had gotten an email about. Like you it was too soon. In time you'll know when to open your heart. Peace to you and your family.


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## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

It never gets any easier even though you know it's the kindest thing to do to take away their pain. So sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful dog.


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