# Comforting a neighbor



## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

As some of you know, I commute to Manhattan. This morning I missed my train-let me explain why. My friendly neighbor and I do not see each other socially, but have met on the street for years while walking our dogs. She has an adorable Havanese, Molly, who I have known since she was a puppy. She's a loving little thing who in her enormous enthusiasm can almost reach my knees. She's dying of congestive heart failure, she now visits a cardiologist weekly.

My neighbor has a terrible option. Because of Molly's condition, there is a drug that can be administered orally for euthanasia. Her vet suggested that when Molly is really at the end of life, that my neighbor administer the drug herself at home. Of course, this would involve minimal stress for Molly. However, the burden of actually euthanising your own dog is very large for my neighbor, as it would be for me. So I missed my train because we were discussing this issue in some depth. As has been said here often, there is no single right answer to this dilemma.

MJ


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Oh, MaryJane.. such a caring heart you have to feel for and with your neighbor about sweet little Molly. I too, think administering the med myself would be overwhelming, alone, or with family there. I think having the vet do it removes the owner just enough that we can then focus all our energies on the pet him or herself at that time. Such a dilemna for your neighbor. My heart goes out to her!


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

I have a terrible time dealing with euthanasia. Like most people, the only reason I can have a Hooligan euthanised is because it's the only altherative I have because the dog no longer has a quality life. But I honestly don't think I could give one of them that pill even if someone offered me a million dollars to do it.


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## shilohsmom (Jul 14, 2003)

OH my gosh, I could never do this. I just couldn't. My heart goes out to her as well. 

I'm going back and thinking about this, and while I can understand that the Vet is trying to help-I didn't think it was legal to give out euthansia type things to unlicenced person??? Just a thought. 

I'm glad you took the time to help this person rather than rush and catch your train-it says a lot about you as a person and you should be proud you have such priorities.


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## DrDoom (Nov 7, 2007)

If the alternative was extra pain/anxiety (IE a trip to the vets) I'd do it, but I would need a long time alone afterwards to reconcilemyself emotionally.
Still, I would want to be the one who was there for him, and if he needed that from me, I'd do it.


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## Betty (Aug 11, 2002)

It would be no more difficult for me that having someone else to do it.


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## Mandalay (Apr 21, 2008)

Why can't the vet some administer the drug at her home? I think it is a good idea, a nice option, but oh my dog how hard it would be to give that pill to my own dog. 

Unless Mandalay were lying in the middle of nowhere with no access to any kind of vet care and were surely suffering with obvious death at the end of the suffering, I would not be able to do it. I am actually getting teary even thinking about it.

I think that it needs to be pointed out to her that the guilt of having had euthanized her own dog may be very overwhelming after the fact.


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## JenniferH (Oct 9, 2007)

I dont think I could do it. BUT I would also hope that somewhere in my heart and mind as a dog owner I would do what I had to do to keep my dogs from pain and suffering. I could only hope that I was strong enough to do it if the time came. I hope I never have to find out. 

My other thought, and sorry this may sound morbid, but what if she's home alone, sick at heart with dealing with the fact that she just gave her dog this pill and the pill doesnt work but instead causes terrible side effects? I have never heard of a pill that does this so thats why I throw it out there.

Is she unable to do the drug by shot because of her heart condition? 

I feel for her having to be faced with that situation.


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## GunnersMom (Jan 25, 2008)

Oh boy, my heart goes out to your neighbor. What a difficult thing to have to consider.

I could never do it, personally. I have to be there with them when the time comes, but I don't think I could be the one to actually do it. Just the thought of my boys looking at me and knowing that I was the one doing it freaks me out way too much. 

I would worry, too, about the pill maybe not working the way it's supposed to, or there being some kind of complication and then there you are with no vet present. Too scary.


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## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

> Originally Posted By: GunnersMom Just the thought of my boys looking at me and knowing that I was the one doing it freaks me out way too much.


Deni, that's part of what chills me to the bone. My big baby trusts me. When he is reluctant to eat from his dish, he will eat from my hand. How could I coax him to eat poison?


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## APBTLove (Feb 23, 2009)

I would not do it... As said, what happens if something goes wrong? Is she going to shoot the dog or rush her to the vet to be put down there? 

What reason is there that she cannot be PTS normally? With injection, I mean... It's over in seconds. Or is there something I'm missing?

I could not do it if I had the option of bringing the vet to my home or letting her sit in the car near the vet's office. Thankfully mine will come to your house. I guess it's our human emotion thing getting in the way, we will make the decision to kill them, but cannot do it. I would be so emotionally destroyed and on extreme edge knowing I'm killing my dog, my companion, my love, and acting like I'm giving her a treat that it would freak the dog out horribly anyway. 

If her dog is not scared of the vet or car rides... Why not get the vet to meet her outside or come to the house? 

No matter how it's done, it's never easy and it always feels like betraying them, even when we KNOW they would have suffered a far worse death if we let them go on their own.


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## GunnersMom (Jan 25, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: MaryJane
> 
> 
> > Originally Posted By: GunnersMom Just the thought of my boys looking at me and knowing that I was the one doing it freaks me out way too much.
> ...


Exactly! My boys don't trust their vet - they trust me. The vet does things and I'm there to comfort them. I'm sure they can separate the two. Having them leave this world with their last thoughts being that I had betrayed or hurt them would haunt me for the rest of my life. 

Not that I would criticize anyone for wanting to be the one to do it. It's such a personal thing - we all have to do what's right for us and our dogs - but man... that's one thing I couldn't deal with.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

<u>*<span style='font-size: 11pt'>IF</span>*</u> the Vet was comfortable with the process of giving a pill to my dog to release him/her from it's pain then I could do it. 

If I look at it like some of you are with poisoning my dog then no I couldn't.

I heard of a pill that is used for Euthanizing a pet.

Val


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

What is the difference if you authorize someone else to euthanize your pet or you do it yourself? I guess I would see it, if anything, as the more knoble or courageous alternative. You are the one responsible either way.

Part of my philosophy on this is, if it is something I am capable of, I have no business asking someone else to do it because I won't.


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