# Extremely Shy/Fearful 3 mo. old puppy



## bbradley7289 (Oct 4, 2017)

My husband and I (no other pets or kids) have a 12 week old GSD that we got at 8 weeks from a breeder. He seemed playful and social at the time, but now looking back we are realizing that he was definitely the shyest of the bunch. His first week or two we really just focused on letting him adjust to his new home/family and he seemed to be doing fine. Now the last few weeks we have been really trying to socialize him and we are realizing how fearful and shy he is. For example he never ever wags his tail when a stranger approaches him and tries to offer him a treat. If we are on a walk or out and someone wants to pet him I usually tell them he is a little shy but they can bend down to his level, stick out their hand and offer him a treat. If they try to sneak a pat on the head he usually ducks and backs away. He often barks at other dogs and people (especially children) if we are not doing a good enough job of distracting him. What should we do? Any tips for extremely shy puppies or anyone have an experience like this? We are doing all we can to help socialize him, but it seems like he has made very little progress especially with meeting strangers. Of course we don't want to jump to conclusions but we are just worried he is going to grow up to be an aggressive dog that we cannot trust.


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## konathegsd (Dec 3, 2016)

It is the genetics more than likely. I learned from from this forum the importance genetics play. My puppy was similar and she is over a year now and still has issues. Luckily she got over her fear from dogs and loves them. But she will alsways be shy/timid with strangers. She did the same exact things as you. I didn't see the signs when she was younger. She is an amazing dog and we have been working hard with her for a year. We do not let anyone pet her unless she wants to be petted. Forced socialization makes it worse. She doesn't want anyone to touch her and it is my job to keep her safe. Build trust and a bond. Work on confidence building. You can only do so much, but this is who your puppy will most likely always be. Whatever you do DONT reinforce the fear. We can almost live a normal life with my pup now but she will always be timid to people petting her. 

I would try to do some group puppy classes and work on positive reinforcement training right now

It is very possible that your puppy could grow up and be fear aggressive. BUT you are doing the right thing by reaching out and getting help now!! With the help of a trainer you can prevent fear aggression from forming and possibly make your pup realize there's nothing to fear.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

I'm not sure I'd be so quick to pin this on genetics yet. bbradley7289 you said:

"Now the last few weeks we have been really trying to socialize him and we are realizing how fearful and shy he is."

I'm curious what you're doing in terms of socialization? I ask because everyone there are drastically differing opinions of what that term means.


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## konathegsd (Dec 3, 2016)

tim_s_adams said:


> I'm not sure I'd be so quick to pin this on genetics yet. bbradley7289 you said:
> 
> "Now the last few weeks we have been really trying to socialize him and we are realizing how fearful and shy he is."
> 
> I'm curious what you're doing in terms of socialization? I ask because everyone there are drastically differing opinions of what that term means.


It could be lack of socialization 


At what age did you start socializing ? And what did you do for socialization ?


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

I agree with Tim and find that we too often claim a genetic basis for the behavior observed when we simply don't have enough information. Consider, as Tim suggests, what you've been doing with the puppy thus far to 'socialize' him. It may, in fact, be overwhelming him. Google this site for discussions of the dangers of what some term 'socialization' and recent thinking on the topic. Here's a link to just one of those discussions:

http://www.germanshepherds.com/foru...0-rethinking-popular-early-socialization.html

And a second link to an article discussing some of the negative consequences of overfacing a puppy --- in the name of 'socialization:' The Dark Side of Socialization: Fear Periods and Single Event Learning ? Dr. Jen's Dog Blog


It also might be a good idea to seek out a local, experienced GSD trainer (not one of the petco people) to work with you on how to shape more stable behaviors. The good news is that he's still young and _can _(I'm an optimist) learn. The 'bad' news is that you may have to seriously up your game and change what you've been doing so far in the name of 'socialization.' 

Aly


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## Bramble (Oct 23, 2011)

This is a good article about socializing a puppy. There is a bit at the end about a fearful pup the writer was training:

More Harm than Good: 3 Reasons Why I Never Socialize my Puppies | The Collared Scholar

I would back of on the forced interactions. Forcing your fearful pup to interacted with strangers is unlikely to make him like them. Tell them he is shy or in training or whatever, just don't let them approach and try to pet. Teaching him to be neutral around people may be the best you can expect from him. Better he be neutral than reactive or aggressive, which may be where you are heading if you keep trying to force interactions. Socializing a fearful puppy is tricky, they are at an age where one bad event will basically stay with them for life.

Have you spoken to your breeder about what you are seeing? This sort of puppy may not be a good fit for inexperienced puppy owners. They don't bounce back from novice mistakes like a puppy with solid nerves can.


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

Love the article, @Bramble, thanks for posting it!


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## bkernan (May 17, 2009)

Hudson was pretty fearful and shy when we got him, we weren't even going to buy a puppy and had set out to meet breeders, but had to remove him from the situation he was in and long story short we knew he was shy but also have since gotten more information from the vet who saw him as a puppy as to the extent of what he went through. He wouldn't walk down our street for 2 weeks, he was TERRIFIED of other dogs of all sizes, being socialized was a foreign concept to him but we were prepared to do whatever it took to ensure, whatever his natural nerve strength, we would support and train him to be as solid as he could be. 

With Hudman, and in my opinion, any puppy with little socialization/potentially fearful tendencies/weak nerves, we took everything slow. Everything was positive and fun. We did a lot of sitting and getting comfortable in different environments and worked to just ignore outside people and dogs and focus on basic skills like walking down the street comfortably and trust us. In retrospect Hud's progress was quick but in the moment it felt slow, so as your exposing your dog to different things take it slow. Don't get discouraged by setbacks - especially during the fear stage around 4-7 months. Hudson's confidence grew in leaps and bounds when we started OB training around 4 months. It's when he turned the corner. 

I would say just focus on you and your dog right now, get him comfortable walking and not reacting to dogs/people - we used hotdogs as high value rewards for this. Once that is solid, do a puppy training class where he's exposed to other dogs in a controlled setting. We also got a very experienced GSD trainer who trained us more than Hudson in how to handle various situations and reactions from Hudson. 

I know this is probably much of the same thing you've heard from others but I just want to say it can get much better. Hudson is solid as a rock with other dogs and aloof around people. He definitely has days when he wakes up and it seems like all of our work was for nothing, but they are getting to be few and far between. 

PS. we realized Hudson needs structured sleep like a baby and has to be put to bed well before us. It was a game changer in his temperament!


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## bbradley7289 (Oct 4, 2017)

Wow- thanks all for those articles and advice! Great reads about socialization- I have never heard that perspective before but it really makes you wonder what is best. I can definitely see the value of really just focusing on building your bond/trust with your pup especially if it seems like he doesn't enjoy going to lots of new places and meeting new people all the time.

As far as what we have done so far no meeting other dogs as he is still young and doesn't even have all his shots yet. When we go on walks and see other dogs I try to distract him to focus on me instead of barking at the dog. At around 9-10 weeks though we did start taking him to as many places as we could such as Home Depot, a public park where people are out and about (no dog parks), the auto store, etc. We usually have about one or two outings a day. Maybe I should stop letting every single person who wants to meet him offer him a treat though, because it probably can get overwhelming for the little guy and they usually end up trying to pet him which he doesnt seem to like and probably worsens his fear of strangers? And maybe work on socializing from a distance and let him learn to just be neutral and ignore everything going on around him. Thanks again for all the advice and encouragement!


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## lrodptl (Nov 12, 2009)

My 8 year old was a fear barker,very reactive and a submissive mess. No one could approach him without him cowering and peeing. He would go crazy at the site of another dog from the moment we brought him home. He would go crazy if someone walked by,or God forbid,come to the house. At 3 years old he bit a woman in the backside in my yard. 20 kids were ice skating and he had never seen it before and was running and barking. I put him in a down stay which he broke to bite a woman who was doing nothing more than leaving. I had spent hundreds on behaviorists,spent hundreds of hours just laying with him in the kitchen and exercised him vigorously 2-3 hours a day. 8 years later he will still cower when cornered,will still go crazy if someone comes to the house and won't let other dogs near him. But,he is much better. We never verbally correct him as he will feel that pressure for days and show it. Any correction will be with an e-collar,but he rarely needs it. Distraction is a huge asset,either a ball or food. Patience and understanding is very difficult,but very necessary. We also got another GSD who has none of those issues and they have bonded well and may have helped also. He must be handled,we must be aware,but it has gotten easier,with a lot of love,exercise and discipline.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

IMHO the most important aspect of socialization - or training or indeed any and all interaction you have with your puppy as he grows up - is learning to read and understand him and his body language. Communication with your puppy is a two way street. If he's overwhelmed, whether you're at home or home depot he's not learning anything good. But he is still learning! And that seems like a pretty common misconception among new dog owners; when problem behaviors surface later and they consult with a trainer, only to learn that their actions or approach caused the undesirable behavior (of course that's also why working with an experienced trainer before problems arise is a such a good idea!).

Just watch and learn your puppy; read up on canine body language and GSD traits in general. Not letting people pet or offer treats is a good idea if he's not enjoying it (And even if he is, for a host of other reasons you've already read about), but even being in a store where that might tend to occur might be a bit much initially due to the unavoidable proximity of strangers. It really depends on your puppy. Parks are usually good because you can be a fair distance from other people and dogs if need be. Start slow, at whatever distance your puppy needs to feel comfortable, and just let him watch. Make each outing a confidence builder, and you can slowly move closer over time. It's a process, and it can seem slow, but it's so much easier than trying to unlearn a bad experience after the fact.

Best of Luck to you and your pup! Let us know how it's going!


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