# When does it get better? Happy Birthday Luther



## Anubis_Star (Jul 25, 2012)

I made the heartbreaking decision to euthanize Luther on July 23, after aggression towards strangers turned into aggression towards house members and pets. It was a life long struggle of dealing with aggression, training, stress colitis, severe chronic diarrhea, the prospect of lifelong medications, etc...

But when does the pain ever get better? Each day I feel a little better, but then something will trigger a memory and I'll just break down. I miss him so much. And although I feel like I made the right decision _most_ of the time, I can't tell you how many times I regret it as well. Did I REALLY make the right decision? Or did I just give up for selfish reasons, sick of dealing with such a problem dog? It doesn't help that in just a few days it would be his 4th birthday.

For all his problems, all I can think about is my sweet little dog that had such a personality. I loved him so much, and just miss him a ton. And although I've put a deposit down on a puppy for next spring (because I knew I wouldn't be ready any sooner then that for another dog), I feel like everyone else has moved on and I'm the only one stuck in this world of sadness, missing my poor little Lu-dog.




































































Happy Birthday, Luther. I love you and miss you


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## zyppi (Jun 2, 2006)

My heart goes out to you.

No matter the reason, putting a love pet down is gut wrenching.

I'd personally suggest you get the new pup sooner than later.

One never 'replaces' the other, but it does give you reason to open your heart in a good way and busy your mind on the positive.


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## Anubis_Star (Jul 25, 2012)

zyppi said:


> My heart goes out to you.
> 
> No matter the reason, putting a love pet down is gut wrenching.
> 
> ...


 
Trust me, part of me would love a little fluffy ball running around. But when I think about getting a puppy right now, all I think is that I'm just replacing Luther.

Besides, the litter isn't even whelped yet, the mating is occuring next month, pups will be born in January and 8 weeks old in March.

I already made the mistake of getting a poorly bred dog due to inpatience and not wanting to "pay" for a better dog from a better breeder, and that only got me three years of hearbreak. Not only did I lose Luther, I lost my little T.J. kitty that he killed. I'm NOT making that mistake again.


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

he was a really pretty boy. so sorry for your loss, that sounded very tough. looks like you had a lot of good times too, try and focus on that. we love them like children, but they are animals, with animal instints, we forget that sometimes.


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

My sincerest condolences.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

i'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Jag (Jul 27, 2012)

I'm sorry for your loss. As for when it gets better... it depends. I waited over a year to finally decide to take a chance again. By then I'd gone into a deep depression. Please don't let yourself do that. Getting Grim has helped so much. I still get teary when I think about or see dogs that look like mine. BUT that gut wrenching hole in my heart has finally stopped aching. For some, I think the only way to heal is with another shepherd. I totally understand your thought, though. I also wanted to get a shepherd this time that would be well bred to avoid the severe aggression issues I've already dealt with before. I think you're making a very smart move there. Let yourself heal. Forgive yourself. :hug:


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

I am very sorry. 
From personal experience, I can tell you you'll probably wonder almost daily if it was the right thing.
Try to remember the "bad" as much as the good, because it's human nature to romanticize our memories. 

If you posted or kept a journal, it helps to go back and read and actually try to remember how you felt when the dog was alive and you were under the stress you were due to the problems.

I've done that a few times, and I can relive how bad things were and remember that the dog is in a much better place now, healthy and without mental issues.


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## Anubis_Star (Jul 25, 2012)

msvette2u said:


> I am very sorry.
> From personal experience, I can tell you you'll probably wonder almost daily if it was the right thing.
> Try to remember the "bad" as much as the good, because it's human nature to romanticize our memories.
> 
> ...


That is VERY good advice, thank you SO much! Yes it is easy to romanticize the relationship after all is said and done, and to "forget" about all the troubles and pain


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## Jenna&Me (Sep 27, 2012)

Anubis I am so sorry for you and Luther

My last girl was difficult, but she was put to sleep because of an illness.
She would have been 4 on the 2nd Sept

I miss her so much and still cry for her but my new little girl has helped.
But you know in yourself when it is the right time

I heard an old song on the radio yesterday and two lines really hit home

"Only love can break a heart"
"And only love can mend it"


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

AnubisStar I am so sorry. To handle a dog who has agressionissues is difficult at best. From your post it sounds like you tried many interventions but you had to keep everyone else safe as well. My heart goes out to you. Please take care


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## katdog5911 (Sep 24, 2011)

So sorry for you. Must have been a hard decision. And I totally agree that we humans tend to forget the hard times and lean towards remembering only the good times. Everyone grieves at their own pace....you will know when it is time to get another puppy. It won't replace Luther, your heart just expands a little more to make room for it.


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## PatchonGSD (Jun 27, 2012)

msvette2u said:


> I am very sorry.
> From personal experience, I can tell you you'll probably wonder almost daily if it was the right thing.
> Try to remember the "bad" as much as the good, because it's human nature to romanticize our memories.


That is so true.



I remember reading your post when you first joined the board, and I remember how emotional your posts were when you had to clarify *why* you decided to put him to rest. I could feel your pain and it was so, so clear that you loved him with all your heart and that you put everything you had into helping him but despite all that, he sounded like he was a very stressed out dog to the point that he probably wasnt enjoying his life very much, and that, of course, is no way to live for any being. I think you did the most honorable and loving thing you could do for him by giving him eternal peace and God bless you for having the strength to do it and the wisdom to know it was time. :hugs:


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Oh no, I'm so sorry. You have me tearing up.

it's a crappy answer but it takes as long as it takes. I just lost my mom and a customer told me just this morning "The hurting will go away, but the void will never be filled". I think it's the same for any creature who stole a part of our hearts.

Your grief is that much worse because of the reasons surrounding it, but I know you made the right decision. The fact that you're so broken up over losing your beautiful boy tells me you did not do this for selfish reasons. Safety is not a selfish reason. The fact that he had some chronic health problems is also not a selfish reason.

I believe in quality vs quantity of life. 

In a perfect world, we'd have both, but if we have to make that choice, we have to choose to give our friends a good life - even if that means it's not a long one.

It's ok to feel sad, feel cheated, feel guilty. This is all normal. But know in your heart you made the right choice. He did not suffer, and he loves you still.

Look forward to your new pup! I hope the breeder helps you choose just the right puppy. You are not replacing Luther, nobody will replace him. You're just giving your heart another creature to love. 


((hugs))


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## Anubis_Star (Jul 25, 2012)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUTHER!!!

Today is the 5th, officially his birthday. It has been a pretty rough day. Not only the sadness for Luther, but then I wake up to the first snow fall of the season (snow, YUCK, lol), and we've had several euthanasias at work.

But I appreciate everyone's comments SO much! Thank you everyone. Sometimes it's nice to hear a little reassurance, even though obviously no one else can make that hard decision for you. You are all wonderful.

These are the first 3 photos we ever took of Luther, right after coming home from the breeder. The first photo, we had literally just walked in the front door and wanted to show him off to friends and family.


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## Blanketback (Apr 27, 2012)

I'm sorry that today is so hard on you. Please take it easy on yourself and know that Luther had some really great years, which is more than some dogs get. And it might also help to remember that not all illnesses are physical. You did the best for him, even if it hurts to think that way.


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