# Allie - so many questions



## Allie512 (Sep 28, 2010)

I lost my German Shepherd, Allie, today, 2/7/16. (Allie came to me on 12/27/05 at age 7 months as a breeder reject.) Allie was quite ill most of her life. My gratitude to all of you on this board is something I can never repay as you helped me for years and years. I am now turning to you again, as I am overwhelmed with grief and doubt.

She has had numerous threads, including: http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/health-issues/507362-allie-critical-vet.html; http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/health-issues/593242-critical-again-allie.html;
http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/health-issues/384738-high-fever-no-diagnosis.html; http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/health-issues/165783-mrsa.html; http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/health-issues/155701-aptt-clotting-time-too-slow.html


She was finally diagnosed with autoimmune polyarthritis, non erosive, in January 2014. Allie managed to do well with some serious set backs. Unfortunately the only medication she reacted to was prednisone and metronidazole. Unfortunately, I think it was the medication that killed her.

Allie went from 85 pounds to 67 pounds, The Pred took a terrible toll on her muscle mass. We tried several other medications but always had to come back to the metronidazole to control her bowels and infection in her colon.

Over the past few months, my vet has strongly suggested it was time to “let her go”, however, with a strict feeding regime we came up with and a lot of medication, Allie was doing okay. 

This morning, she threw up shortly after feeding. And then she threw up again. Within a short time, Allie could barely walk. She was becoming somewhat non responsive - her eyes seemed glazed. 

We rushed her to the vet and were told there was no hope. I offered up that money was no object and I had the will to continue to care for her. The doctor said Allie was suffering and she could not justify extraordinary treatment. As we consulted, Allie kept slipping away more and appeared to drool and have difficulty breathing.

We let her go and now I am so incredibly sad and overwhelmed. I am reflecting that perhaps I should have researched her meds before rushing her to the doctor as I was aware of metronidazole toxcity but did not think of it this morning - she had been on 500 mg twice a day for a year. All of these thoughts are making me quite ill with should have , would have, etc. I really do not know where to turn.

Thank you all for listening one more time to Allie


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss. But you did everything you could for her. 

A metronidazole toxicity would have shown way sooner than a year, if she was susceptible to it. 

Don't question your decisions. You did the best you could with the information given. Autoimmune diseases are horrible. Your girl have a good fight, and you stuck with her for all of it. 

Again, I am so sorry. It never gets easier. She was loved and she knew it.


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## maxtmill (Dec 28, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss! It sounds as though you cared very much for her and did the best you could for her. Don't beat yourself up - she was fortunate to have had someone like you who took such care if her. Unfortunately, sometimes there are animals, and human babies as well, that simply fail to thrive. A few years ago I had to have a young beautiful pet put to sleep. She was also a breeder reject who was never quite strong enough. It broke my heart. Be kind to yourself!


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I am sorry for your loss. 

You did everything possible for your girl and gave her a full life. Sheps can live to be 14 and every now and again someone tells you of one they knew who was older than that. But the average lifespan is currently 10-12. To bring a dog to that age with serious immune system issues tells of how committed you were to your dog.

It is always hard to lose them. But the ones that are toughest, in health or in behavior, they just seem to be much harder to let go of. They make us grow as owners, as trainers, as people. They build our hearts up. And when they pass it is like a hole that will shatter us.

But don't let it. The loss you feel speaks of the great love you had for your girl, the great part of your life that she shared.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. You gave her the absolute best life possible.


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## Allie512 (Sep 28, 2010)

Thank you all. I wanted to add that Allie was an incredible dog with a wonderful personality. She could have been an ambassador for German Shepherds. She was beautiful, steady, watchful and loving. Allie never stopped watching me from the day she arrived. When we moved to Las Vegas in Nov. 2012, Allie looked out the window the whole trip - she would fall asleep with her head on the back of the seat and then wake up and watch some more. Every stop for the 7 day trip was an adventure for her. Allie met these incredible Indians in New Mexico who ran an animal rescue and fell in love with New Mexico - I think she felt for the first time a freedom from all the allergies from grass, etc. in Miami. She will be so missed. Ziggy is a problem as he has severe behavioral issues of which we were not aware when he was rescued so Ziggy will forever more have to be an only dog. Right now Ziggy is not certain what is going on as he has been with Allie since he was 5 months old.
Thank you again - I know time helps but that is of no comfort right now. I am going to call the vet tomorrow with a few questions.


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## RZZNSTR (Jan 24, 2015)

I am very sorry for your loss!


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## Heidigsd (Sep 4, 2004)

I am so very sorry to hear about Allie 

Please don't blame yourself, you did everything possible and have nothing to feel guilty for, you gave her a wonderful life. 

:hugs:


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Marylou I am so sorry for your loss of Allie. It is so hard to let them go. You and she made it through so much. I believe that when these beloved companions cant physically go on to watch us they go to aplace where they are strong and know no pain and they wait on us while still watching over us. I know that in no way helps now. Take care
Maggi


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## zyppi (Jun 2, 2006)

So sorry for you, but sounds like it was time for her to rest.


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## Allie512 (Sep 28, 2010)

Actually Maggi that does help. I am so numb and hurt so much. I keep trying to think of Allie watching me from a distance but have not connected yet. Ziggy is of much concern also as he keeps looking for her. Thank you.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Allie512 said:


> Actually Maggi that does help. I am so numb and hurt so much. I keep trying to think of Allie watching me from a distance but have not connected yet. Ziggy is of much concern also as he keeps looking for her. Thank you.


It will take a while but in the mean time I thinl allie would tell you Mom you were the best mom I could ever have had and your final gift to me was to let me go. I wrote some letters to Daisy my first dog to help me and a member here Zeeva gave me a res[ponse from Daisy it helped. It is so very hard to let them go but iut is our final act for them.Ziggy is feeling the sadness and confusion we all feel when we lose a member of the family. Hugs to him and you.


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## cgripp256 (Feb 7, 2016)

I am so sorry for your loss. 

We lost our Bandit on Tuesday after 11+ years. He was on Pred, tramadol, xanax, acepromazine and gabapentin at the end.

It has been a terrible week but I have some comfort in knowing he is no longer in any pain.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## NormanF (Apr 14, 2013)

Its not about money.

I would have let the dog go because it wouldn't be fair to her to live with a compromised quality of life.

If Allie wouldn't have the life she truly deserved, she would never have been happy.

Sometimes your dog lets you know its their time and you have to come to terms with their decision.

I'm so sorry for your loss; I know how heartbreaking it can be to lose a beloved dog.

But I am certain when you look back you'll remember Allie for the good times you had together and not when she went through a lot of pain.

Your sweet girl has earned a special place in your heart and you'll treasure her love forever.


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## NormanF (Apr 14, 2013)

BowWowMeow said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. You gave her the absolute best life possible.


Amen. That is what we should all strive to do for our dogs.

And they still watch over us even after they're gone.


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## Lobo dog (Sep 19, 2014)

selzer said:


> I am sorry for your loss.
> 
> You did everything possible for your girl and gave her a full life. Sheps can live to be 14 and every now and again someone tells you of one they knew who was older than that. But the average lifespan is currently 10-12. To bring a dog to that age with serious immune system issues tells of how committed you were to your dog.
> 
> ...


selzer said it far better than I could have. This. Exactly this 

"To bring a dog to that age with serious immune system issues tells of how committed you were to your dog.

It is always hard to lose them. But the ones that are toughest, in health or in behavior, they just seem to be much harder to let go of. They make us grow as owners, as trainers, as people. They build our hearts up." 

So sorry for the loss of your girl, you truly did everything you could and she fought hard! She knew when it was time, and she was ready. She knew how deeply you loved her, how dedicated you were to her. She knew <3


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## Allie512 (Sep 28, 2010)

Thank you again for your wonderful messages. I spoke to Allie's vet and she said that Allie appeared to have bleeding internally - she suspects cancer. Her gums were almost white and it all happened to quickly. Whatever it was, it was quick and not survivable. Assured me it was not the metro toxicity as stated above by GSDAR it would not have shown up at this point. Again, your thoughts have helped so much.


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss. 
Sheilah


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