# Friday is going to hurt



## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

Unfortunately its Gunners time. This past weekend we had a party at the house for him. Friends and family that know him. Beer, music, belly rubs, burgers, dogs, chicken. etc. It was a great time. Yesterday he and I spent most of the day in the garage. I was smoking some shoulders, he was enjoying the cool concrete floor. I'm working 4/10's this week in order to take Friday off. I was given 2 options for timing at the Vet 11:00 or 3:30. I took the 3:30. Wondering if I should've just gotten this done early in the day. But I know my plan on how to deal with it immediately afterwards. Grab a case of cold Bud Light cans and head to a local club I belong to. The Fairfield Optimist. Told the wife I would like to do this whole thing alone, I don't like being vulnerable in front of her. But told her she could go, drive separate, I want to be left alone afterwards. I have begrudgingly agreed to take him to my mothers house on Wednesday so she can say goodbye. Long dramatic story, but she kept me from seeing my dad before he passed away in Jan 2020, so when I heard she wanted to see him, I originally lost my sh!t. But decided to be the bigger person and had my sister set it up.

I've had Gunner since he was 11 weeks old, or so I was told. I was looking for a GSD at the time but wasn't in a position to afford one, so I was heading to get a chocolate lab. A friend called, knowing I was looking for a GSD and said she knew someone that had 1. Male, 11 weeks old. Didn't have a yards, couldn't keep him. $100. HEII YES. So off I go. I pull into this trailer park and there's a white ball of fur sitting on the porch. WTF is that? That's not a GSD. LOL My first time seeing a white one. 12 years later and I wouldn't trade him for the world. To try and explain what he means to me, and the fact that he has saved my life a few times, I suffer from severe PTSD from my time in Iraq, would be difficult to put into words. 

I am having him cremated and will place his remains next to a my favorite picture of him. Told the wife when I die, he goes with me.

I know what to expect Friday, but I don't know how Ill be able to keep my emotions in check. There just may not be enough bud light in the world to get that lump down my throat. 

Wont have my buddy to drink coffee with on the back deck on the weekend mornings anymore. Wont have my beer buddy next to the firepit anymore. 

Anytime I would crack that first beer, his head would snap and look at me wondering where his was. "You want a beer? You gotta tell me" One loud bark was all it would take. 

Never had any problems out of Gunner. He is a great dog, and to watch him struggle just plain sucks.


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## 3ymum (Oct 12, 2021)

Gunner will always be with you! All the memories, all the contentment, all the laughters....... will always bring a smile on you!


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Do yourself a favor and pay the bill now, because standing there trying to see through tears and keep your **** together just sucks. 
My heart just aches for you, I know what that last week feels like. I did the same thing for Sabs, had a big party for her so everyone could spoil her and love on her. It's a beautiful thing.
Gunner will always be with you. You have to know that the awesome bond you shared does not just break apart. He sounds like a great friend who loved you as you loved him.
Don't fall into that beer can ok? I'm sending all kinds of hugs for you both.


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## Buckelke (Sep 4, 2019)

I'm so sorry. Gunner will always be with you. Jake is in our living room and when I'm in there I talk to him, it's surprising how comforting it is just to know he's there. 
Take care of yourself and know we're thinking of you both
.


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

Friday we will have fat ass ribeyes around noon. Head to the vet at 315.


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

Can't leave out fat sister. Lol.


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

I truly feel your pain. Be strong for Gunner. He knows how much you love him..


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Been there done that, Hard as it is to believe, I know how you feel. 
First of all, thank you for your service and thank you for doing right by Gunner before it's too late. 
Nothing wrong with a man crying over losing his buddy, the last two times I cried in the last 20 years were I put my dog's mercifully down. I needed to be on my own too after letting my kids say goodbye. My last GSD girl is buried in the woods out back, her favorite spot to be and nice and shady in the Summer heat. I can still talk to her whenever I want and she's helped teach the new boys in spirit.

As hard as it is to fathom, the only thing that helps patch over the hole that they leave is to suck it up and find the courage to love another one; as soon as possible in my case. I honestly feel that's what they'd want too.

Run free healthy and perfect Gunner.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I know how it hurts like crazy. I too want to be alone when a dog of mine needs to be euthanized.
I don't want to be disturbed when I am sobbing in their fur. Must be tough to wait so long in that state of mind. Loving deep makes for hurting deep. Be strong.


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## RockyRoads62 (8 mo ago)

I'm so sorry. I have been there before. It was the saddest the night before and I literally cried for weeks afterward. I wish I could say something that would help but there isn't. My boy is on my mantle now. I look at him often and still speak to him and it has been years since he passed. Prayers to you and your boy.


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

Reading your post was tough. Hold onto those great memories of your wonderful pup. My thoughts are with you both.


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## RosiesPaw (8 mo ago)

hey, man. my girls just been with me 2 months and I'm choking up reading this. I'm real sorry for the loss of your buddy. take care of yourself, friend


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

Thanks everyone. One step at a time.


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

WNGD said:


> Been there done that, Hard as it is to believe, I know how you feel.
> First of all, thank you for your service and thank you for doing right by Gunner before it's too late.
> Nothing wrong with a man crying over losing his buddy, the last two times I cried in the last 20 years were I put my dog's mercifully down. I needed to be on my own too after letting my kids say goodbye. My last GSD girl is buried in the woods out back, her favorite spot to be and nice and shady in the Summer heat. I can still talk to her whenever I want and she's helped teach the new boys in spirit.
> 
> ...


I feel a little guilty about it, but I also thinks it's helped keep my mind in a good place. I have a new pup lined up with a current member. Fingers crossed...


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Saying goodbye is the price of all the joy and friendship, and it's a heavy one.

I agree about paying that bill ahead of time -- and pick your box and paw print, or whatever else they have as options, a few days before. You won't know what you're signing, picking, or paying afterward--emotional blur. They might even let you leave through a side door after.

My heart-dog has cancer right now. This weekend, we're doing a little at-home photoshoot together with a friend who's a pet photographer. I did that in 2013 with my last one, a week or two before he passed, and those pictures are my favorite set of pictures we ever took. There's just an energy in the way we looked at each other, knowing we'd made it to the end of the journey, and were so grateful for each other. I don't take many pictures of myself, but those pictures with my dog right before he passed _really_ mean a lot to me. 😭


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## perrymel (Oct 28, 2021)

My heart is breaking for you , sending love and hugs !!!


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

Dustinb80 said:


> I feel a little guilty about it, but I also thinks it's helped keep my mind in a good place. I have a new pup lined up with a current member. Fingers crossed...


Try not to feel guilty. I found my Frankie and brought him home 1 month and 3 days after my Gypsy Rose crossed the Rainbow Bridge. And I think she led me to him.


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## Biscuit (Mar 24, 2020)

Your post reduced me to tears. Mostly I love the relationship you have with Gunner. Thinking of you on Friday. Enjoy your last few days as hard as it seems. 

The new pup will be a healthy distraction. Some people just need a dog by their side.


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## Katiebob (Aug 9, 2021)

Can't possibly imagine how you feel. Sending love to you both. Enjoy your last few days as much as possible. 🥰


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

I don't have much to add except it is totally fine and normal to be a complete wreck for awhile before and after we say good bye. It takes weeks and sometimes months until we can remember the good times without a tear. 
But each tear is because we were blessed to be companions with a great dog.


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## CEMC (May 2, 2020)

We are so sorry.
Unfortunately my wife and I have been through this many times and it doesn't get any easier. Nothing but time helps ease the pain but try to remind yourself that your decision will put an end to his pain & suffering and if you have faith in God remember that when your time comes he will be there waiting to reunite with you.
I am not ashamed to tell you that both of us cry every time it happens and even long after if we see pictures or reminisce about them.


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

{{{HUGS}}} Coming up for a year in 2 weeks since I had to do the same with Star. Still miss her something awful...
Be kind to yourself, and let your tears fall as they may. We don't always have to be strong. Mourning is a gift we give to ourselves, and to the one we lost, to honour the relationship and all it meant.

And no, it **** well DOESN'T get any easier! Saying 'goodbye' will always be hard.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Dustinb80 said:


> I feel a little guilty about it, but I also thinks it's helped keep my mind in a good place. I have a new pup lined up with a current member. Fingers crossed...


Don't feel guilty.
I had the choice of day to say goodbye to my last girl and planned it for the morning when I picked up Harley that afternoon. I know it sounds weird but your dog wants you to be happy too and like I said, nothing heals the heart like a new little life that needs you. It doesn't diminish the memories you have of the last dog at all. Or at least, it worked for me.


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## MeishasMom (Nov 12, 2021)

You have taken very good care of Gunner and even though his physical body will no longer be there with you his spirit will always be by your side making sure you are safe. Hugs to you.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

Getting a new pup doesn't take away grief for your old dog but it helps you stay in the world. That's my experience. It's the cycle of life. The following really happened: I was tending the grave of my oldie when my puppy showed up with a toy, sat on that grave, looking at me. He snapped me out of it .


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## peachygeorgia (Oct 5, 2021)

I'm so very sorry you have to say goodbye, it's one the hardest yet selfless things you can do for them. He's a beautiful dog, and sounds like the best boy. Take care of yourself, try not to isolate yourself too much, I know it's better to be alone in those times for a while, but sometimes having a loving shoulder to cry on really helps❤

And don't feel guilty about the pup, like some have already said, when I lost my first heart dog, an old female Black Lab from the shelter, I got a puppy less than a month after, it truly helps heal your heart, and i know that's what they'd want.

I'll tell my girl to make him feel nice and welcome, she's been up there for about seven years now, she'll show him around❤


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## jfert (9 mo ago)

I went though this just a few months ago. Similar to you, my Mako got me through some tough times. 

I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for your service. 

I very much agree with the suggestion about taking care of paperwork in advance. One other suggestion - we found a service that would come to our house and do it. Made a big difference. Was more expensive, but it was my final gift to him. May not be available in your area, but something to consider.
Thoughts are with you.


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

I am so sorry ❤ I too am feeling the pain of losing my boy. It’s almost unbearable. Hugzzzz


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I'm so sorry, we truly know how you feel. Emotions don't play fair, don't make any major/life changing decisions for a while.


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## Ladybug1982 (8 mo ago)

Oh I’m so sorry! My eyes filled with tears as I read your post. He is such a beautiful boy who obviously loves you dearly. He reminds me of my Bella who was also a solid white GSD. She passed several years ago and I still feel that pain. I still recall the good times though like the first time taking her to the beach and how funny it was watching her reaction to the waves coming off the ocean. She was my silly loving girl. She is always with me just like your Gunner will always be with you. My thoughts are with you and again, I am so very sorry.


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## Gregc (Aug 10, 2012)

God bless the two of you. 
greg


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

Will be thinking of the two of you tomorrow.💕


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## Crazy shep (9 mo ago)

As others have said, getting a new pup shows what a lasting imprint Gunner has had on you. He sparked in you a love so strong that even with the pain you are feeling, you find it necessary to give another loving animal a home where he will be happy . There's no better gift for you or that animal. We wish you all the best.

One last thing i wanted to mention, when you repeatedly call the new pup by the wrong name, it's a testament to the bond you will always share. Our pup must swear he has two names.

All the best today. Ending a beautiful journey and starting another that will be just as blessed. From all the posts ive read, Both dogs have been lucky to meet you and have you in their life.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Thinking of you today. Stay strong for Gunner, then let it loose. Move on when you're ready. Do it all again ....


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Thinking of you.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

We all know what you will be going through today. Many will relive memories. Wishing him a sweet journey to the bridge


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## mikegray660 (Jan 31, 2018)

Condolences - thoughts with you and Gunner 
I'll do some bud lights later with positive thoughts for you


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## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

Have been thinking of you and Gunner all week, but especially right now. Hang in there.


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

Thinking of you today. Hugs.


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

I've buried family with less emotion that that. Oh man, that process makes me rethink getting another one.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Oh, Dustin.
Sending all the love we can ❤


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## RosiesPaw (8 mo ago)

I don't even know ya brother, but I'm sending love your way. take care of yourself for a few days, man. beers and relaxation if that's your thing


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Dustinb80 said:


> View attachment 587530
> 
> 
> I've buried family with less emotion that that. Oh man, that process makes me rethink getting another one.


I feel ya but honestly, It's always worth it. 
Only thing that heals the hole.


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## Ladybug1982 (8 mo ago)

Been thinking about this all day. I’m so sorry. It’s never easy saying goodbye to a family member. ❤


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

Some people don’t. We all have or we wouldn’t still be here. I’m so sorry for your loss.


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## NadDog24 (May 14, 2020)

So sorry Dustin… Gunner will always be in your heart


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

That empty feeling in our gut is the worst. Thoughts are with you. 

I lit a white candle for Gunner and all the other pups that crossed the bridge today.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

OMG, when I saw that picture my heart ached for you, him and all others. Don't rethink anything yet. Heal well first


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

It was a rough day for sure. Sitting in my truck in the driveway bc i don't want to go into the house bc I know he's not there. Rough


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## peachygeorgia (Oct 5, 2021)

Going home the first time after is always the worst, realizing theyre not just around the corner or in another room. Let yourself grieve, and grieve hard, seek comfort if you need it, and get some rest if you can, sending love and support❤ it does get better, believe it or not


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

peachygeorgia said:


> Going home the first time after is always the worst, realizing theyre not just around the corner or in another room.


<sigh>


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Dustinb80 said:


> View attachment 587530
> 
> 
> I've buried family with less emotion that that. Oh man, that process makes me rethink getting another one.


You guys were on my mind today. I'm sorry for your loss. He lives on unhindered by a mortal body and he will always walk with you.


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## SMcN (Feb 12, 2021)

@Dustinb80 I couldn't read all the wonderful, caring posts through my tears, but know I can't add anything that hasn't been said. Yes, we have all been there. No, that doesn't take your pain away. But maybe it helps ease it in a small way, enough to get through these awful first days of cringing every time you face the reality. 
So many people reaching out, really reaching out to embrace you and help you through this, whether physically with your circle of friends or virtually with all the friends you have made on here. 
Peace be with you. And when you find that peace hard to find, come back here. Talk to us. Let us know how you are doing.


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## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

I defintely remember that feeling of being in the house those first few days after and everything feeling quieter. I did a lot of silly stuff to get through it. I stuck to parts of our routine, like going out into the backyard first thing in the morning and last thing at night and standing there picturing Maizey in my head running around as if she was still there. I'd go for walks around the block imagining her by my side during the day, especially the route from the last walk we took together once I could do that without dissolving into a puddle of tears. I didn't take up any of her beds for... at least 2 months and the one in our bedroom where she was laying when she passed probably didn't get picked up for close to a year. I asked my wife not to vacuum the bedroom because I couldn't handle not to seeing her fur there. Silly stuff for sure, but it was part of how I got through the days. You'll find your way through it, too, I promise.


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## finn'smom (Oct 4, 2019)

There are no words, I started reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I managed to get through it today and I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

Dustinb80 said:


> View attachment 587530
> 
> 
> I've buried family with less emotion that that. Oh man, that process makes me rethink getting another one.


I’m right there with you, the pain is indescribable 💔
I’m holed up in my house refusing to vacuum because the fur balls floating around on the floors is all I have left. I know it will get better for the both of us.


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## Wunderwhy6 (Nov 29, 2020)

Dustinb80 said:


> I've buried family with less emotion that that. Oh man, that process makes me rethink getting another one.


This picture says more than anyone really can. This hurts


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

Thanks folks. Just came downstairs for a cup of coffee. It's looking like a beautiful day outside, he's in a better place. Sounds like I should get his remains back today.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

My dogs don't want to see me sad, that always upset them. Having a buddy whose life span is generally just 10-15 years means we go through this multiple times in our lives. 

I grieve, I grieve hard and then suck it up and let the last dog guide me to a new puppy life that needs me. The days immediately following without a dog in the house are really hard because I love routine.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I literally cried for three weeks after WD died. It was scary because it just didn't stop. Then I decided that I had cried enough and I felt that it would interfere with him moving on into eternity or wherever they go. That helped. A few months later, the breeder called: a new litter. How can you say no to that? Deja was one of these pups.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

One of my beloved pets is buried in the front yard, between two trees, and only I know he is there. I had to put him down when my kids were young, and I just couldn’t leave him at the vet’s.
When no one in my family could see, I would go out there and talk to him. Half of me felt like I was insane, but the other half got great comfort just from knowing he is still there, somehow.
The loss of a pet is so devastating. All they do is make us happy, and they have no agenda.
They are always there, they don’t complain, they don’t ask for much, and they accept us as we are.
Sadly, they don’t live that long, and no matter how many times this happens to us, we are always unprepared for the overwhelming grief when they move on.
I don’t know if it helps to hear that we understand.
Time does help, to some extent. But they leave little scars on our hearts, every single one of them.


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## banzai555 (Sep 2, 2019)

I have been following this thread but not commented till now. Been thinking of you this week and yesterday. Don't have much to say other than I'm terribly sorry and I can't really imagine what you're going through; Willow is my first dog of my very own, and sometimes I cry just thinking about the day she leaves me, and hoping it's like this, where I at least have a chance to say a long goodbye. 

Sounds like he was a lucky dog, having you, and you were a lucky human, having him. Take care of yourself.


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)




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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

No words. Just hugs.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Dustinb80 said:


> View attachment 587584


Oh, man.
Now I have to go cry again…


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

This thread is therapy for all of us


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

wolfy dog said:


> This thread is therapy for all of us


Yes. Several of us I know of and a lot more who haven’t said, all have a least one senior dog.


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