# Too "intense"?



## Milliegsd (Nov 24, 2015)

So this weekend was particularly busy.. and went out and did some great socialization with Finn. We went to an event at my school and a had a few friends over.. 
A few times though I had to ask my friends to ignore/not pet Finn because upon initial arrival of seeing them he of course got excited and they wanted to reach down and pet him! Which I quickly stopped before they did since he was not behaving properly to deserve any attention. He eventually calmed down and they weren't a big deal anymore. 
At home usually I work on him being in "place" when I have a guest or two over just so he doesn't have to be put away but can learn he can be there with me but not be in the way. But once again I had friend arrive and he held his place command but was still naturally excited to see the person. Friend went to pet him but I told him don't pet him he's too excited wait until he's calmed down because I know Finn and I know he will jump. But my friends are all like oh he's a puppy it's ok. And I explained to them why it's not ok and the conclusion was that I'm too "intense" with my dogs and I should just let him be a puppy.... I really don't think I'm too intense  or strict even..


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## cloudpump (Oct 20, 2015)

Doesn't sound too intense.


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## Milliegsd (Nov 24, 2015)

That's what I thought it seemed pretty self explanatory... don't reward bad behavior... but the comment kind of made me feel weird.... like I'm some kind of unnatural human being that wants their puppy to learn to behave...


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## Julian G (Apr 4, 2016)

You are not too intense. Many top trainers don't allow anyone to pet their pups because they lose focus and become "too friendly" to strangers. I've been saying this a lot lately, but have you ever thought about using a pron collar? It has helped me in the past to get my dog to calm down when meeting people.


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## dawnl (Nov 3, 2016)

defiantly not too intense. Your dog needs to learn your rules not a variety of peoples. I think you did exactly the right thing your friend was in the wrong for not respecting your rules for your dog


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## Chip18 (Jan 11, 2014)

Naw ... your fine you don't have a dog problem you have a people problem! You gotta toughen up! I will say that most likely being firm with your friends and or family is most likely a lot harder with a dog that actually likes people??

With my people luv'ing Boxer ... I was a fail! She would stay on her bed (I did not know of place) at the time but she sat there as a poorly controlled explosion and in any case she knew she would be let loose after five minutes or so. And pleading from friends (always male friends who enjoyed her antics, females thought she was obnoxious ... personally I think the women were jealous of her trim waist and girlish figure.  ) But at any rate I'd give in, let her go and chaos ensued. 

But when I got "Rocky" OS WL GSD with H/A issues ...yeah I no longer had that problem or option! He was most definitely not a fan of drop ins! A low growl and a cold hard stare greeted company!! Place it was and a strict hard core "NO" petting policy followed. Worked out fine ... these days he is still not a fan of compan but more along the lines of "Nice to see you when you leavening" kinda thing. 

My point here is it's much easier to enforce a no touch policy with a potentially dangerous dog.Then it is a friendly dog. So you are correct, the only thing I'd advise if you are not doing it also is "Sit on the Dog." That and Place help train calmness into the dog which is what you are trying to achieve. 

If you are not familiar with it "Sit On The Dog" ... it's in here.:
Fearful, Anxious or Flat Crazy "The Place CommanD - Boxer Forum : Boxer Breed Dog Forums

The less "attention" your dog gives to guest the more likely they are to ignore her. That would be the theory anyway so try that out also and keep us posted.


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## BrodyRoo (Aug 10, 2016)

I don't let other people pet my puppy either, for the exact same reasons. I want him to learn to be neutral to others, not be bouncing around soliciting pets. It's about teaching good manners.


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## Milliegsd (Nov 24, 2015)

I'm just such a passive person and very quiet that before on two instances (months ago) a stranger asked to pet my dog and I let them when I shouldn't of and I knew better but I couldn't bring myself to say no (normally I just try and avoid all people and not pay them any attention, but these people came up to me regardless). So after that, for the sake of my puppy, I said I would never allow it again. So I think my friends (being that I know them) it was easier for me to perk up and say no. 
I've done enough research and understand why I shouldn't let them pet him, but they just made me feel like I was being mean to Finn... Which I know I wasn't. But yeah, as Chip said I have a people problem and I do need to toughen up! lol which I will set as a personal goal for myself to have some thicker skin. 


Finn is definitely a people lover.. loves to be loved on.. so I can see it hard for my friends to ignore him. My older one was more weary of strangers when she was younger and took much longer to warm up to new people (not an issue now) so they understood with her. Now they just think I'm depriving him of being a carefree happy puppy... 


Julian, I have not tried the prong on him I did work with one with my older and helped a lot. The trainer I currently see has us using an ecollar... Which after going to training for about two months now he's been doing great! Made lots of steps forward. He does excellent in his group class. Just the normal puppy excitement that I deal with here and there which is expected from an almost 7 month old. 


Chip, I have read your link (few months back) on the Sit on the Dog, and I did use it last night at my parents and it helped! Took him a bit but he laid down quietly at my feet and finally just took a nap! Even with a bunch of people and two small dogs barking at him. I'll be sure to implement it more along side his place command


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## Deb (Nov 20, 2010)

You are not being too intense. I would explain to then that it's not being too intense when you are training your puppy to have good manners. If they insist I'd put Finn up. It's kind of like doing to them the same as we do the dogs. If you want to see my dog then follow my rules. Explain that you want a dog with good manners when he is full grown and that while you'd like to have him out with them, you can only do it if they follow your lead. I have had to do this in the past and it worked. They thought I was mean, ridiculous and many other adjectives but it got my point across and they followed it. You have to live with the dog, not them. Yes, I tend to be one who also has a hard time saying no, I'm told all the time I need to learn how to say no. But I look at it this way, it's for the dog and not me, so I learned to step it up for him.


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## Chip18 (Jan 11, 2014)

BrodyRoo said:


> I don't let other people pet my puppy either, for the exact same reasons. I want him to learn to be neutral to others, not be bouncing around soliciting pets. It's about teaching good manners.


Yeah ... I kinda lost control of my Boxer (Rock GSD) came later. She luv'd people and was well behaved in public. And if asked to pet my dog .. my answer was "always" please do!! 

I don't have any regrets over that. But aside from the no jumping thing ... I was not able to get a "grip on the crazy (yes ...sigh big surprise.) If I stopped to talk to someone she would stop my Band Dog a people person also would stand quietly aside from a tail wag. And Struddell was fine ... until they looked at her and then the butt would start to wiggle. People would smile and laugh and it was on like Donkey Kong! 

I really placed no demands on her to be calm when greeting people ... she wasn't jumping or biting so what's the issue?? In retrospect the "issue" was if you "train" your dog to be "excited" to meet people ... then when your dog meets people they will be "excited" ... who knew??  

With the right dog ... lots of stranger petting is just fine but yeah it would behoove people to put a clamp on the "excitement thing." A "Sit" should suffice ... Struddell would have needed a "Down" first. But I don't know most people don't want to stand around waiting 5 minutes while an owner struggles to get there dog under control. Rocky however OS WL GSD with people issues ...saying "NO" with him ...not a problem! :smile2:

Honestly ... I think the people friendly over excitement dog, takes more finesse to deal with, then the "Yeah I don't much care for people anyway" dog does??? I'm good here thanks was/is Rocky's attitude.


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## Julian G (Apr 4, 2016)

Milliegsd said:


> I'm just such a passive person and very quiet that before on two instances (months ago) a stranger asked to pet my dog and I let them when I shouldn't of and I knew better but I couldn't bring myself to say no (normally I just try and avoid all people and not pay them any attention, but these people came up to me regardless). So after that, for the sake of my puppy, I said I would never allow it again. So I think my friends (being that I know them) it was easier for me to perk up and say no.
> I've done enough research and understand why I shouldn't let them pet him, but they just made me feel like I was being mean to Finn... Which I know I wasn't. But yeah, as Chip said I have a people problem and I do need to toughen up! lol which I will set as a personal goal for myself to have some thicker skin.
> 
> 
> ...


I know the feeling of trying to be nice to people, but I just simply say "Please don't pet him because he's in training".
I read somewhere that using the word "because" is very powerful to get what you want. :grin2:


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