# Loss Of My Best Friend 💔



## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

Hi everyone, I have joined this forum to help me mourn but also celebrate the life of my beautiful best friend Persia the GSD. She died on Wednesday evening, she was 9 years 11 months.

Apart from a bit of arthritis in her back legs, she was a very healthy girl, never had a sick day in her life! It all starterd just over a month ago with her going off her kibble which she adored and peeing in the house in the middle of the night, she also had appeared to slow down some days on walks, still so excited to go out but looked tired in her movement. I naively put all these symptoms down to her aging, getting fussy with food, getting incontinent at night and stiff joints from her arthritis, especially as she was nearly hitting the big 10.

She had her annual health check due so I discussed with the vet, she examined her etc and noticed she had lost 4kg which I was very concerned about, the vet said it could all just be her just slowing down and getting old/picky with her food, but said if it was to carry on she would need to take blood tests to rule out kidney/liver problems.

A few days after her vet check up I took her and my other dog (husky cross) on holiday (Saturday 4th) with my mum to the seaside, this is when something much bigger than I could've ever imagined started to show, she collapsed midweek in the holiday home, so I rushed her 1 hour 30 minutes back to our town for an emergency appointment with her vets, the vet told me it was hip dysplasia or her arthritis, I couldn't see this, especially as she wouldn't even walk to urinate but he didn't find anything else wrong, so she had an opioid injection + metacam and off we went. She seemed to get a lot better and after 24 hours she was up wagging her tail and urinated in the garden which started to make me believe maybe it was her back legs and she had just been overdoing it on our holiday walks etc. She then collapsed again last Saturday 11th when we come home from holiday which I think was triggered from jumping into the back of the car, once I arrived home I again rushed her to her vets and was told they couldn't find anything wrong and it was her arthritis getting worse and she had overdone it and needed to rest + another opioid injection.

Although she started to move again on Sunday afternoon by this point her appetite stayed like the days she'd collapsed and she wouldn't eat food apart from cooked meat and small treats and her eyes looked unwell.

So Monday I still wasn't happy I called her vets and managed to get her an appointment with her actual vet this time (the one she saw for her check ups) Her vet had known her for years, she seemed concerned and said since she last saw Persia two weeks before, she'd now lost a lot of muscle around her face which I had noticed in the last few days. I could tell the vet knew immediately something wasn't right. She took her off for blood tests and ultrasounds. Persia was severely anaemic and the ultrasound diagnosed her with a large tumour in the spleen (Hemangiosarcoma) (slight chance it could be benign, but unlikely) apparently common in older GSD's. It had split open and was bleeding which was what was causing her to collapse. I was told she needed surgery but if it had spread she would be put to sleep on the operating table, so I would have to let her go into the surgery having said my goodbyes. Her vet said it was either this or euthanasia. My world completely fell apart all in that moment, I never had even heard of this tumour, but in that moment, I knew what was to come. I wasn't ready to say goodbye then, I couldn't digest anything and I knew it wouldn't be fair on my family, so as she was walking by herself again by this point, I booked her in for Thursday and took her home for a few days so me and all my family could spend time with her, it was lovely to have this time with her, I barely left her side.

However she had another bleed on Wednesday, collapsed and her gums went very pale, I couldn't watch her like this and now knew she could be bleeding to death so I rushed her in as an emergency. Unfortunately, the vet removed her spleen and found she was riddled with secondary tumours, he said there was nothing he could do, it had gone too far, and so she was put to sleep.

I am struggling to come to terms with my loss, Persia was such a big part of my life, I had her from 6 weeks old, she was my 18th birthday present and my best friend and my emotional support. She was my shadow in the house and our bond was very special, she was full of so much character, so loyal, so brave, so protective of me and would wipe my tears if I was upset. She was my first dog (apart from my parents gsd who died when I was 4) and I still feel completely numb in my chest. It was all so quick and such a shock and I only had a couple of days with her knowing how serious this was and what to expect. I think because she was such a healthy dog who I fed a healthy diet and on yumove for her achey legs, I was always under the naive illusion she would live well beyond 10.

I am also overwhelmed with guilt that after sitting on the floor cuddling her and saying we'll see each other soon I had to walk out and leave her to have the surgery. Standing up and leaving that room whilst she stared at me has made me feel like I abandoned her. I always wanted her to pass in my arms, but I knew I would never get over the 'what if's' if I just had her put to sleep and ignored the small chance this could've been a benign tumour and removing it would save her life, which is why I agreed to the surgery.

I know I need to remember her for the good times and the almost 10 amazing years she gave me, and not the sad times this past month which were short lived, which is why I wanted to write about her on this wonderful forum, I thought it would give me comfort, she was truly the most intelligent, loyal and affectionate creature. I have another (second) dog who has just turned 9, they never liked each other much when the second pup first joined the house when Persia was just under 1 years old, lots of jealousy and rivalry but they grew to tolerate each other, they got on in their own way and they become a pack together. Persia was definitely his boss. I'm not sure if he knows what's going on, I have seen him look for her a few times and he's definitely quieter without his big sister here. He probably feels a bit lost. I love him and I'm hoping he can help me through this painful time, but he is a completely different breed to her with a completely different personality. Apart from walks he likes to sleep all day in the house, where I'm sure as you all know, GSD's fill the house with a warm and loving atmosphere with their beautiful characteristics, the house truly does feel empty without her, yet everywhere I walk there's constant reminders of her. Anyone who has gone through a similar experience to this or has simply lost your furry friend your advice would be deeply appreciated. She truly was irreplaceable. My best friend who loved nothing more than long walks in the woods, on the beach and in the countryside. ❤


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## Biscuit (Mar 24, 2020)

I am so sorry. Its such a horrible experience to go through. Sending hugs your way.

Feel free to share some of your favourite stories and pictures of Persia here. 

They just don't live long enough.


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## PNWBlue (Feb 27, 2021)

PersiaTheGSD said:


> I know I need to remember her for the good times and the almost 10 amazing years she gave me, and not the sad times this past month which were short lived, which is why I wanted to write about her on this wonderful forum, I thought it would give me comfort, she was truly the most intelligent loyal and affection creature. I have another dog who has just turned 9, they never liked each other much when he first joined the house when she was just under 1 years old, lots of jealousy and rivalry but they grew to tolerate each other and she was definitely his boss. I'm not sure if he knows what's going on, I have seen him look for her a few times and he's definitely quieter without his big sister here. I love him and I'm hoping he can help me through this painful time, but he is a completely different breed to her with a completely different personality. Apart from walks he likes to sleep all day in the house, where I'm sure as you all know, GSD's fill the house with a warm and loving atmosphere with their beautiful characteristics the house truly doe feel empty. Anyone who has gone through a similar experience to this or has simply lost your furry friend your advice would be deeply appreciated. She truly was irreplaceable. My best friend who loved nothing more than long walks in the woods, on the beach and in the countryside.


I am so sorry for the loss of your GSD. I lost Burr over a year ago. It was unexpected and sudden at 10 years 6 months. It left me overwhelmed and deeply grieving. He died at home and I buried him on my property. Burr was my hiking partner and like your Persia, my constant companion in life. I felt as though huge part of my life had just been torn away. Despair.

My wife insisted that I find another GSD, for my physical and mental health. i was not sure I wanted to take on another GSD. I just could not let Burr go. I started looking around.

I was lucky to find a pup, as the pandemic was surging and demand for dogs was as well. I embraced Pike as a pup, but could not shake this existential fear of losing him too. That passed after a while. 

Pike is a wonder to me. My new companion who I remind everyday how much I appreciate his presence in my life. 

After a year, I finally let Burr go. 

Burr is a bright jewel I keep in my heart. I can look at it occasionally and smile at all the wonderful memories he triggers. 

I hope you find grace. I did. And I am much more appreciative of what my dog gives to me each and every day.


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## Rgoldman (May 2, 2021)

I am sorry for your loss. I know no words can help but I hope you can find peace in the memories of the time you had together. It's never long enough.


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## banzai555 (Sep 2, 2019)

I'm so sorry. Hemangiosarcoma is a sneaky, insidious disease and there's very little we can do about it, preventatively or reactively. Don't feel guilty--you did everything you could. Hemangio scares me to death.


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## Argos3872 (Sep 1, 2020)

PersiaTheGSD said:


> Hi everyone, I have joined this forum to help me mourn but also celebrate the life of my beautiful best friend Persia the GSD. She died on Wednesday evening, she was 9 years 11 months.
> 
> Apart from a bit of arthritis in her back legs, she was a very healthy girl, never had a sick day in her life! It all starterd just over a month ago with her going off her kibble which she adored and peeing in the house in the middle of the night, she also had appeared to slow down some days on walks, still so excited to go out but looked tired in her movement. I naively put all these symptoms down to her aging, getting fussy with food, getting incontinent at night and stiff joints from her arthritis, especially as she was nearly hitting the big 10.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Barrie (Jul 5, 2021)

My thoughts are with you. 💟


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## jarn (Jul 18, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss of Persia. She sounds really special.


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## gogo (Sep 7, 2008)

So very sorry for your loss hugs to you


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## Zeev (Aug 28, 2021)

Run free beautiful Persia...<3

I am sorry for your loss. You did everything someone could do to save her but when it is time it is time...<3

Seems like she had an amazing life being so bonded to you...<3

I wish you well in your journey through mourning...<3


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## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

jarn said:


> I am so sorry for your loss of Persia. She sounds really special.


Thank you. She really was a special creature, and she definitely knew it.


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## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

banzai555 said:


> I'm so sorry. Hemangiosarcoma is a sneaky, insidious disease and there's very little we can do about it, preventatively or reactively. Don't feel guilty--you did everything you could. Hemangio scares me to death.


Thank you. I never knew how common this was in GSD's. I'm scared to ever have another again.


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## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

Zeev said:


> Run free beautiful Persia...<3
> 
> I am sorry for your loss. You did everything someone could do to save her but when it is time it is time...<3
> 
> ...


Thank you for your lovely kind words ❤


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## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

PNWBlue said:


> I am so sorry for the lose of your GSD. I lost Burr over a year ago. It was unexpected and sudden at 10 years 6 months. It left me overwhelmed and deeply grieving. He died at home and I buried him on my property. Burr was my hiking partner and like your Persia, my constant companion in life. I felt as though huge part of my life had just been torn away. Despair.
> 
> My wife insisted that I find another GSD, for my physical and mental health. i was not sure I wanted to take on another GSD. I just could not let Burr go. I started looking around.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your message, it's given me some comfort, Burr sounded special. Can I ask, how long after Burr you found Pike? I also feel at the moment I will never let her go and could never have another, as they wouldn't be her. Also the fear of losing them suddenly again must've been so hard to control. It's nice to speak to someone who went through a similar experience and overcome it.


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## Shooter (Nov 19, 2016)

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there and it isn't a fun place to be. The pain is as intense as the connection and love you have. My thoughts are with you. I understand.


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our 9 year old, 11 month girl in April to bloat. The suddenness after a wonderful normal day was devastating. I so understand your pain. It is still surreal to me that she isn't here.


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## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

[


ksotto333 said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our 9 year old, 11 month girl in April to bloat. The suddenness after a wonderful normal day was devastating. I so understand your pain. It is still surreal to me that she isn't here.


Thank you


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## PersiaTheGSD (Sep 17, 2021)

Shooter said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there and it isn't a fun place to be. The pain is as intense as the connection and love you have. My thoughts are with you. I understand.


Thank you ❤


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## mikegray660 (Jan 31, 2018)

I'm so sorry for your loss - its always gut-wrenching losing ones BFF - most of us here have been there and totally sympathize.

Take peace in knowing you provided the best life for Persia and she knows it too, and at some point in the future the joy of your years together will outweigh the grief your experiencing now with her loss

Run free Persia -
hugs and best wishes
m


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## Jeanette M (Jun 14, 2021)

So sorry for your loss. I can understand your situation. My Grey had an issue of arthritis from many years ago from his 8th year until he died at 12. He was using daily Metacam for 4 years & handled it fine with the prescription of a vet. Now, for my Lilly, I use also use CBD oil and she only needs small dosages of Metacam which is prescribed by her vet. Her condition is much better than Grey's.


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