# Omg



## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I have to be the most horrible dog owner on the face of the planet. i get so mad at Jas for peeing and pooping in her kennel, I spank her. She's a year and a half old, she should know better. Xerxes hasn't gone in his kennel since he was 4 months. But when i went out and she had pooped in her kennel and i got mad and she was trembling in fear. My god, I felt like a monster. I never wanted my dogs to be afraid of me. God, i feel so horrible right now.


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## GSDGunner (Feb 22, 2011)

No offense, but you should feel bad. Spanking her? Really? That is not the answer. No dog should EVER be hit..period! Would you spank a child because they soiled their pants? God I hope not!

She was trembling with fear. So sad!

Why do you think she is soiling her kennel? Is she being let out enough?
I can't sit here and hold my tongue. You absolutely should know better. I hope you didn't think you could post this and get sympathy, because I don't think you're going to get it. 
Please change your ways and get that poor dog to trust you again. 
I'm sorry if you think I'm being harsh but I just can't stand to hear about any animal being hit.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Nikitta said:


> She's a year and a half old, she should know better.



No, YOU Should know better.
She is an animal.
She had to go, she was locked up, she went. 

Either she wasn't taken out before you left, or you were gone too long, but no matter what the reason was, to let yourself lose it and hit an animal is simply not OK. 

I don't know why you posted this here, but you have to get control of yourself next time. You were lucky your dog didn't bite you.


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

Well in another thread you state "My two didn't go through a land shark phase because I didn't allow it. I know some don't agree with this but if my dogs tried to bite, they got their noses slapped."

And now you know why "some don't agree with" slapping noses or spanking them. 

Hitting dogs is _going_ to make them scared of you. What did you think would happen? 
So you've really taught them nothing except you are not stable (in their eyes, they don't know why they are being struck), and are likely go "go off" on them. 

You can rehab and change the situation but do not strike them again. 

Mind Games, if followed, gives the dog the idea that you are the leader, not a bully that'll strike out at them randomly.

Mind Games (version 1.0) by M. Shirley Chong


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## APBTLove (Feb 23, 2009)

You need to build up her trust of you by never laying a hand on her again. This is how most people who aren't dog-savvy train, by smacking them. It 'works' by stopping that one behavior while you're around, because he knows he's going to get hit. What is also does is make that dog trust you less, namely because a leader doesn't lash out and lose control like that for nothing - I.E you did it after she did something bad, so she REALLY had no idea what was wrong with you. 

A lovely quote to keep in mind:

"_Dog: Keep in mind I have big, strong teeth and claws, but I choose not to use them against you, even if you hurt me._"

I'm not sure where I heard it, but it touched me. 

Don't beat yourself up too much, even if you have been using very outdated 'training', heck, Cesar Milan does too, you're certainly not one of the worst owners. And you can fix this with her. I'm glad she showed you in a way you can understand how she feels when you do this.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Just so Jas doesn't get lost in this thread: if I have a dog who is housebroken and pees and poops in the house then my first thought is that they are not well. Dogs don't just suddenly become un-housebroken. Unless she is still a puppy? Then it's perfectly normal to have an accident every so often. 

And I think that you could use Jas's reaction as a blessing for you: now is a good time to rethink your training style. Many of us started out using harsh, punishment-based methods of training because that's what we knew from our parents or that's what was in favor at the time. However, those of us who have switched to more reward-based methods have never looked back. They give you the opportunity to build a much better relationship with your dog.


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## Muneraven (Sep 4, 2012)

When I had my first dog I was too harsh with her. I didn't beat her or anything like that, but I did slap her nose and I was WAY too harsh verbally with her. I think part of this was because her, mother, who was a doberman/shepherd mix, was owned by people who never disciplined their dogs at all and that dog snapped at people and wasn't safe. I was really scared that this puppy I adored would turn out to be an undisciplined mess.

I was the problem. It was never the dog's problem.

Here's the good news: Dogs are really smart and really forgiving and my dog Peanut and I learned and grew together. And truly she has taught me ten times more than I've ever taught her. I am a good dog owner because of her. She is fourteen years old now and still with me. Still teaching me to be a better person.

This is YOUR opportunity to learn. Hitting a dog doesn't work. When you want to hit a dog, this is a weakness and foolishness in YOU, not the dog. Walk away and take a breather. Remind yourself that you are everything to your dog, and it is terrifying when you are angry. Remind yourself that your dog would do ANYTHING for you if he could only understand what you want. Your job is to figure out how to communicate what you want and how to make it possible for this dog to please you.

I can honestly say that I have never experienced a situation where hitting a dog was the appropriate response. Your dog does NOT want to make you angry. Try to help him learn how to please you, as that is what he wants more than anything.

It is almost unbearably humbling when you first understand how your dog sees you. To your dog, you are ALWAYS right. None of us can ever live up to that, but it behooves us to do our best for such a faithful friend.


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## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

This is definantly a good time to start over with your dog if you want to. 
We are all human and have gotten angry or annoyed with our dogs,whether we hit them or not. Just don't make the same mistake again,even if it means you have to walk away and come back to the dog later.That's one of the reason why I don't ever train when I am in a less than good mood. It's too easy to take your aggravations out on the dog,if you let it get that far.


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## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

I didn't come here for sympathy. I saw what I had done to her and felt horrible. I will do better. It was a huge wakeup call.


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## Whiteshepherds (Aug 21, 2010)

Nikitta said:


> I didn't come here for sympathy. I saw what I had done to her and felt horrible. I will do better. It was a huge wakeup call.


:thumbup: That's a good start. 
There's a lot of information on the forum about training dogs without using physical force or letting your anger get in the way. 
If you don't mind my asking, what made you think spanking a dog would work to begin with? Was it something you saw being done by other people?


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## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

I'm done discussing this. I see it was a mistake to post here. Have a nice Christmas.


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

Whiteshepherds said:


> :thumbup: That's a good start.
> There's a lot of information on the forum about training dogs without using physical force or letting your anger get in the way.
> If you don't mind my asking, what made you think spanking a dog would work to begin with? Was it something you saw being done by other people?


This post is not rude, this person is genuinely curious.
People have been extremely polite in this thread, all things considered.


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## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

I never said they weren't. Stop shoving words down my mouth. I never said anyone was rude. All i said was I no longer wish to discuss this and goodbye.


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

msvette2u said:


> This post is not rude, this person is genuinely curious.
> People have been extremely polite in this thread, all things considered.



:thumbup:

People have been very nice about the situation. And if you didn't want to talk about it, you probably shouldn't have started the thread.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Have you consulted with your vet to make sure there's not a physical problem causing her to mess her cage?

How long are you gone when she pees/poops in her cage? If she were mine and I could make shorter trips that's what I would do ... if she goes when you've been gone for 3 hours, go home in 2 hours and let her out. If that's impossible hire someone within the time frame she needs to relieve herself to take her out.


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## dazedtrucker (May 2, 2011)

opcorn: That went bad quick... LOL!


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

msvette2u said:


> *This post is not rude*, this person is genuinely curious.
> People have been extremely polite in this thread, *all things considered*.


:nono:



Nikitta said:


> I never said they weren't. *Stop shoving words* *down my mouth*. *I never said anyone was rude*. All i said was I no longer wish to discuss this and goodbye.


Nikitta...:thumbup::thumbup:

Merry Christmas...you are human, we ALL make bad judgement calls in the heat of the moment, whether it be snapping at someone we love or don't even know...it's a stressful time of year, nobody knows what may have happened or is happening in your life that may have triggered a moment of weakness. What is important to note, is that you feel bad, so you are not a bad dog owner - maybe a frustrated one...but you care how she feels and that makes you a loving dog owner...

She may be stressed depending on what is going on with you in your life and this is the result...anxiety.

You'll figure it out
:dancingtree::doggieplayball:


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

GatorBytes said:


> it's a stressful time of year


Which would make sense, if it had only just started happening. 
However, Nikitta has been advised since she joined that slapping and spanking her dogs was not the way to handle them. 



> I didn't come here for sympathy. I saw what I had done to her and felt horrible. *I will do better.* It was a huge wakeup call.


And in the end, this is what matters.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

Since you are looking ahead to what's best for the dog now, one suggestion:
spend _a lot of time_ over the holidays praising her like she's made you the happiest human on the planet when she pees and poops outside. 

One of the most vexing things for me to rehabilitate with a foster is a dog that's been punished for peeing and pooping in the wrong place, as it becomes very hard to teach them to go in the right place if they are fearful of doing business in front of a human. These dogs won't potty on a leash, as they think "potty makes the human scary, so human must not see when I potty." That's sometimes a very hard issue to rehabilitate, once the dog gets that in their head -- so it's worth doing some work now to convince your pup pottying makes you _happy_.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

msvette...Not aware if this as ongoing, I just commented based on she did not imply anyone was being rude. 

There is something going on with her personally and if this transferance onto the dogs is the result, then she would need to get to the root cause, her anxiety is causing the dog anxiety, then she needs to get to HER root cause and needs support to get there.

I am NOT condoning hitting, spanking or other...she may be overwhelmed and not have been able to find the patience to take and implement any advice she may have got here...just like dogs, some humans need more help, guidance then others AND they both need a soft touch


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

Magwart said:


> Since you are looking ahead to what's best for the dog now, one suggestion:
> spend _a lot of time_ over the holidays praising her like she's made you the happiest human on the planet when she pees and poops outside.
> 
> One of the most vexing things for me to rehabilitate with a foster is a dog that's been punished for peeing and pooping in the wrong place, as it becomes very hard to teach them to go in the right place if they are fearful of doing business in front of a human. These dogs won't potty on a leash, as they think "potty makes the human scary, so human must not see when I potty." That's sometimes a very hard issue to rehabilitate, once the dog gets that in their head -- so it's worth doing some work now to convince your pup pottying makes you _happy_.


:thumbup:

I've found that also - we have had dogs who cannot control their BMs, and I know they've been struck for it. 
We have one right now, with very low muscle tone due to past back injuries. So poo will just fall out on the floor, sometimes she feels it but more often she doesn't. When she first got here she'd start shaking and roll over on her back in fear of being struck. 
It took a few months but she finally realized accidental poo isn't a big deal here (we just clean up and move on) but she finally got over that.


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

> Not aware if this as ongoing,


If you click on someone's name, then "find more posts by XXX" you can read past posts :thumbup:


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

msvette2u said:


> If you click on someone's name, then "find more posts by XXX" you can read past posts :thumbup:


I commented on this thread and on her words being re-interpereted...she has had past issues I was not aware and am not about go looking through her past threads when I am noting, that beating a human down when they are down is as useless as spanking a dog for doing something after the fact...this will make it worse....want to help the dog, then help the human help the dog

Some posts gave it to her straight, some came on to recognize and say move on now do better and then some came on to admonish and condescend


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