# Frustrated...



## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

Okay, Kalona has been in our house for a week now. Heres a little background on her. Shes a 4 month old working line female. She has spend these 4 months in a barn with her siblings and has had people around (apparently) Anyway, I've been dropping treats, taking her everywhere. I sleep with her, feed her, give her tons of attention when she lets me. Heres my dilemma... She will literally bolt from me all the time. Last time I needed to go somewhere she couldnt go, so ran from me for 5 minutes until the poor thing got herself in a corner where she cowered in fear? I have no idea what I have done to make her so scared of me? We go on walks and she seems fine but if I try and train her or get her to focus on me at all she bolts.  What in the world is going on, there has been NO improvement what-so-ever in her attitude since we brought her home. She will follow me around but if I turn around to pet her or anything she wont have anything to do with it. Then if my b/f comes over, shes all over him, tail wagging, licking his face, jumping all over him, and after he leaves, she regresses to even worse than what she was: pacing, going to the front door, whining. What am I doing wrong?:crazy:


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

if thats her in your avatar, she is gorgeous) 

Ok, I'm assuming your a girl?? It may be she is comfortable with your b/f because he is male and that she has spent her first 4 months with a male caretaker..

Following you around is a GOOD thing taking her on walks = GOOD THING, I think you most likely are going to have to give it more time..

Some things I would do, is obviously if she bolts from you, don't go after her, let her go..sit ON the floor with her ALOT, toss the treats, try to engage her in some play, affection,,etc..get down to her level.. Never use a harsh voice with her, keep everything low key and a happy tone. No fast moves. 

I would also start hand feeding her , her meals. this can help with 'bonding'..

To me, it sounds like she just hasn't been around a woman , is more comfortable with a man, but give it time, while she's afraid, I don't think I'd take it personally, hopefully she'll come around (which it sounds like she is, following you, sleeping with you, etc) it's just gonna take some time


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I'm certainly no expert, but maybe the training is too much for her at this point. If she's fine with you otherwise, I wouldn't do anything more for a few weeks until she's more comfortable. You might want to try tethering her to you--tie a leash to your belt loop and have her with you all the time without giving her any commands, just following you everywhere. When you're working on the computer or something, just have her lie down with something to chew.


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

The thing that blows my mind is that her breeder was a woman. And this litter was not her first...Its so funny, because I bought her some toys and if I try and play with her she wont have anything to do with them, but if I go into the other room, she's all about them and will lay there and squeek on them all by her lonesome 

I HAVE to share these pics of her the other night with my bf and his GSD, Kaiser.

















How pathetic is this one???!:wub:


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

Stosh said:


> I'm certainly no expert, but maybe the training is too much for her at this point. If she's fine with you otherwise, I wouldn't do anything more for a few weeks until she's more comfortable. You might want to try tethering her to you--tie a leash to your belt loop and have her with you all the time without giving her any commands, just following you everywhere. When you're working on the computer or something, just have her lie down with something to chew.


I hadnt thought about that, i'll try that too... by the way, the dog in your avatar is beautiful!


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

Oh she is way to cute! Well I know the age difference is allot but...I brought home a 7yr old retired female from my breeder. She is the sweetest, would follow me and pretty much the same story you tell. I found that if I tried training she would run to the other room like she was scared. Same with playing, would not play with me but would play with our male and on her own.

Now fast forward, she has been here since early Oct and has learned some obedience and now plays. She just needed time to adjust to her new home and people. I would follow Jakoda's advice and just sit with her and some treats. Give up the training for now and give her some time. I see you have another dog, playing with that dog will peak her interest as well. I am willing to bet in a month you will see a different dog in her.


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

That's odd that she acts the way she does - It doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong, not sure why she would act this way. At first, there were possible scenarios that went through my mind: raised in a barn = unsocialized. But then she is all over your boyfriend, so she did get decent exposure to people. 
Then as suggested, maybe she is used to men, but then you mentioned that the breeder was a woman, so that makes no sense either as to why she would bolt from you? 

I would continue on and not make a big deal about it, as disappointing as it is to have a puppy that does not want to be with you. I would do the tethering too, (good suggestions!), and in addition, just let her drag a leash around when she is not tethered. This way, if you want to get a hold of her, instead of chasing her (resolve now to NEVER chase her, you are setting up bad habits letting her run away from you), throw a treat out in front of you a bit and when she is focused on the treat, not facing you, casually bend down and pick up the leash: voila!! No need to chase! 

As she gets more used to being with you, start picking up the leash with you in a more frontal position, but stand sideways and look away from her, bend down bending away from her - this is a less threatening pose to dogs than facing them or bending towards them. 

I'm sorry you are having these issues, it must be very frustrating - she is a complete sweetheart though! Take it slow, try to not put any mental/emotional expectations on her behaviour, dogs are sensitive to our feelings. Your thoughts and attitudes should convey to her that anything she does is fine with you, and not convey that you are frustrated with her (I'm not saying that you are sending out those vibes when you interact - but be aware of just WHICH vibes you ARE sending out.)

Good luck, hope you keep us updated with your progress!


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## MaggieRoseLee (Aug 17, 2001)

I agree with others, be very very patient. I think I'd give 100% of her food from my hand (pocket's full of kibble?). And not to loud/happy/praising. She may need the quiet to figure this all out and not be overwhelmed with all the new. She's really beautiful..

You clicker train? That would be the absolute best thing for the 2 of you....

Clicker Training: Marking Your Dog's Successful Behavior





 




 




 




 
Need TONS and TONS of frequent treats, REAL treats (not dry dog treats), used to lure give ENGAGE the pups initially.


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

Thank you guys for all the suggestions! They are very much appreciated! I take her everywhere with me, praise her all the time and feel like I'm getting nowhere. I will definatly try tethering. And I kmow I shouldnt chase her, but there was no way in h*** she was coming to me and I was late for work! ha!


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

MaggieRoseLee said:


> I agree with others, be very very patient. I think I'd give 100% of her food from my hand (pocket's full of kibble?). And not to loud/happy/praising. She may need the quiet to figure this all out and not be overwhelmed with all the new. She's really beautiful..
> 
> You clicker train? That would be the absolute best thing for the 2 of you....
> 
> Need TONS and TONS of frequent treats, REAL treats (not dry dog treats), used to lure give ENGAGE the pups initially.


I am planning on clicker training... as soon as she is able to focus on me and not bolt. That was the first thing I thought of.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Interesting that we don't think that it's possible that she has had negative experiences with the female breeder! 

I adopted from rescue a dog who at 8 months was very bonded to her foster - first person in her life who was not abusive - and she didn't want to be near me either. If a dog could roll her eyes and cringe, she did when I would come home from work. But she loved my other dog and so that's what I built on. Build on what is already there - she likes your bf and his dog (and his dog may actually be the key - what does she do when he comes over w/out his dog?). 

So for her training is actually going to be getting used to being with you and learning to trust you and building a relationship with you as opposed to sit, heel, down. And you do that slowly more on her terms and her timeline than yours. 

shy-k9s : shy-k9s
I would join this group just for the info archives! 

Toss food at her when you walk by, sit quietly with her and let her know that no matter what, you feel good about her (even if she is not so sure she feels the same about you). 

Good luck!


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## MaggieRoseLee (Aug 17, 2001)

> Interesting that we don't think that it's possible that she has had negative experiences with the female breeder!


I'm sure you are right... but the fact the puppy is only 4 months old and is able to act normally with the boyfriend is a good thing. Hopefully showing they can get thru this with the NEXT 4 months with a female human being a good good thing!


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Thanks! That's my boy Stosh- he just turned a year old, such a good boy too


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

MaggieRoseLee said:


> I'm sure you are right... but the fact the puppy is only 4 months old and is able to act normally with the boyfriend is a good thing. Hopefully showing they can get thru this with the NEXT 4 months with a female human being a good good thing!


Thats actually been in the back of my mind too, I just havent wanted to jump to any conclusions and point the finger. I didnt get that vibe from her, but then again, people never cease to amaze us. When Chase (bf) comes over without Kaiser she acts the same, she loves him to death with or without his dog around.


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## Zoeys mom (Jan 23, 2010)

Have you been firm with her? Not abusive btw but stern when she does something inappropriate? I ask because some dogs are just that soft. All it takes is a firm no to actually scare them and shut them down. She shouldn't cower from you at all she's just a baby so working on her confidence is going to be really important. Some OB classes would be good for the two of you, tethering in the home, and hand feeding will all help strengthen her bond to you and build confidence


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

Zoeys mom said:


> Have you been firm with her? Not abusive btw but stern when she does something inappropriate? I ask because some dogs are just that soft. All it takes is a firm no to actually scare them and shut them down. She shouldn't cower from you at all she's just a baby so working on her confidence is going to be really important. Some OB classes would be good for the two of you, tethering in the home, and hand feeding will all help strengthen her bond to you and build confidence


I havent raised my voice or been stern at all. I've done nothing but been positive with her. Even when she potties inside, I say "no no kalona, and let her outside, then tell her good girl when she does ANYTHING good at all. if she comes up to me or touches her nose to me, I will praise her. I constantly have treats and the slightest good behavior gets a reward. We went to Petsmart and I had strangers give her treats, she wouldnt take them from half of the people there.


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## Zoeys mom (Jan 23, 2010)

My girl doesn't take treats from strangers either and never has. She never cowered but always showed a dislike of strangers even as a young pup. I hate to tell you but despite lots of socialization and training as a 14 month old she has become down right people aggressive and has to be managed every time someone comes through my door....which is all the time. We did lots of OB, took her everywhere, treated every little awesome thing she did, play confidence building games, and have even dealt with a private trainer. We are now considering anti-anxiety meds and use a DAP plug in to ease her nerves. It's been a long road with her and we couldn't love her more, but we're pretty sure she's just never going to be able to trusted 100% around people which is sad

Keep doing what your doing and get her into classes now while she is still young and pliable. She'll eventually warm up to you but make it a point to continue getting her around people daily. Even if she won't take a treat from them you can give her treats for not cowering and hiding from new things.


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## Jelpy (Nov 8, 2009)

I got a kick out of the Dr Seuss book. Do you read to her every night? 

Jelpy and the Mesquite Mafia

PS Your boyfriend is major league cute.


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

Zoeys Mom- I take her out around people all the time so I'm praying she doesnt become people aggressive. 

Jelpy- haha, I havent put the Grinch away from Christmas yet, we tried reading that to our 6 month old son (whos crazy off the wall active) needless to say, that didnt last past the second page :crazy: 
ps. he may be cute, but I NEVER tell him that, his ego would never let me fit back in the house.


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## FG167 (Sep 22, 2010)

I'm not sure about this situation. But I rescued a pit that had been abused and was fearful and SUPER shy with people. My ex-fiance and I worked with her a lot separately. She responded to me beautifully and not as well to him. The problem ended up being that he was constantly coddling her. I don't mean that I was mean or anything, but I was more no-nonsense. I talked in a normal tone and had expectations of her (reasonable). He would baby talk her and if he asked her to do something and she acted at ALL worried, he'd let her get away with not doing it - aka she was brilliant and taking serious advantage of him. I was very firm (not mean) about what I asked of her, extremely consistent and I mostly made her come to me if she wanted something. I did not go to her to pet, she had to work up the nerve to come to me. We did a lot of treat tossing and TONS of hand feeding of meals as well.


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## Kalona (Jan 10, 2011)

FG167 said:


> I'm not sure about this situation. But I rescued a pit that had been abused and was fearful and SUPER shy with people. My ex-fiance and I worked with her a lot separately. She responded to me beautifully and not as well to him. The problem ended up being that he was constantly coddling her. I don't mean that I was mean or anything, but I was more no-nonsense. I talked in a normal tone and had expectations of her (reasonable). He would baby talk her and if he asked her to do something and she acted at ALL worried, he'd let her get away with not doing it - aka she was brilliant and taking serious advantage of him. I was very firm (not mean) about what I asked of her, extremely consistent and I mostly made her come to me if she wanted something. I did not go to her to pet, she had to work up the nerve to come to me. We did a lot of treat tossing and TONS of hand feeding of meals as well.


I've got 2 ends of the spectrum I have to work with I suppose. If the coddling her doesnt work, Ill be firm. 

I really appreciate everyones suggestions! You guys/gals have been so helpful!


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## rvadog (Dec 9, 2010)

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this suggestion.

I would take NILIF to the extreme. Take all the treats and toys up. Crate her all the time. Only let her out of the crate for training multiple times a day and of course going to the bathroom (on a leash). She trains for her kibble and takes it from your hand. Clicker train focus and heel. Do this until she is excited to see you because she associates you with everything good in life. Everything. Then you can slowly back out of the extreme crating and leashing but keep the training.


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