# No Family Christmas for Rocky and I...[rant]



## x0emiroxy0x (Nov 29, 2010)

Rocky is now a 3 1/2 month old. He is very shy. He has never jumped on, nipped, or barked at a stranger. He licks on rare occasions when he likes a stranger. He is potty trained and crate trained. He never has had an accident in his kennel and he hasn't cried about being left in his kennel in about 3 weeks.

However, despite all of this, yesterday my mother just informed me that I am not welcome home for Christmas unless Rocky stays in his crate [all day] in the garage and sleeps in his crate [all night] in the garage. 

Why, you might ask? Because my step dad doesn't want the house "to smell like dog". 

First off, Rocky only smells 'like a dog' after a 30 minute walk. I have puppy cologne too that I use when I go to her house so that they don't bitch.

Second off, Rocky's kennel would be in my room at night. No one would hear him or smell him.

Third, Rocky is an indoor dog. We don't have a backyard right now so he only goes out to potty and for a 2-3 daily walks/play sessions at the park. He sleeps in the same room as me every night. I am not going to stick my puppy in a cold garage, by himself, 24 hours a day.

My Mom's backyard doesn't have a fence, so during the day he would be stuck in his kennel all day.

You want to know what I told her? I would rather spend Christmas alone with Rocky then with someone so selfish and ignorant as her and my idiotic stepdad.

I live three hours away and see my mom three-four times a year. But the selfish ________(fill in the blank) won't let the puppy inside, despite the fact that he is well mannered and trained? (and adorable)

Last time I drove home to suprise my mom for her birthday I had to turn my ass around and drive back home because by stepdad said the puppy was not allowed in the house.

My mom has been married to him for less than a year. That idiotic ******* can go ____ himself. Ever since my mom married him she has turned into a rude, grumpy person.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just so upset that I can't go home for christmas because my stepdad 'wont allow' puppies in the house. My FATHER pays for that house still...the bills, mortgage, yardwork. So my stepdad has no right to make any rules for the house.

I feel bad for my younger sister, who has to live with that jerk.


----------



## x0emiroxy0x (Nov 29, 2010)

Why do so many people have problems with dogs (esp. german shepherds)??? I feel like people who don't like dogs have some kind of problem!!


----------



## Roxygsd (Sep 8, 2010)

Perhaps you can stay at a hotel and drop by with Rocky to show them how well behaved he can be.

By the way, Rocky looks like my Roxy.


----------



## Pattycakes (Sep 8, 2010)

Sorry to hear you have to deal with that. Hope you can work things out and you can take Rocky with you. I don't blame you for not wanting to have Rocky stay in the garage like they want you too.


----------



## 1sttimeforgsd (Jul 29, 2010)

Sorry to hear that your stepdad is such a jerk, even though you would like to be near your mother at Christmas I think both you and your pup will be much happier at your place and start your own tradition.

You won't have to be feeling bad for your pup and your pup will be much happier too. Just my opinion.


----------



## Whiteshepherds (Aug 21, 2010)

Unfortunately, it's something people with dogs have to deal with. Probably not worth getting upset about, life is too short.


----------



## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

x0emiroxy0x said:


> Rocky is now a 3 1/2 month old. He is very shy. He has never jumped on, nipped, or barked at a stranger. He licks on rare occasions when he likes a stranger. He is potty trained and crate trained. He never has had an accident in his kennel and he hasn't cried about being left in his kennel in about 3 weeks.
> 
> However, despite all of this, yesterday my mother just informed me that I am not welcome home for Christmas unless Rocky stays in his crate [all day] in the garage and sleeps in his crate [all night] in the garage.
> 
> ...


Do we have the same Stepdad?

My mom owns the house and pays all of the bills because my stupid stepdad hasn't had a job in over 10 years. My mom absolutely loves my GSD and would definitly let him in her house if it weren't for my stupid stepdad, so when I take my GSD over there to see my mom he can only stay in one of the heated garages or in the screen porch. 

Oh and my sister, her children and I wont be able to spend Christmas day with our mom because she is going with my stupid stepdad to go visit my step brother in another state.  HER children and HER grandchildren are here but she's going with him to see his son.

Oh, and I was the youngest of my sisters and I was the last one left with him and when he put his hands on me I was out of that house ASAP, shortly after I turned 19 I got my own place.


----------



## DanielleOttoMom (May 11, 2010)

OMG!! I feel for you. I would do the same thing. Also I would have a talk with my mother and explain what YOUR RULES ARE. Also remind her that you are her son and you were here first! Just my opinon.... Just remember your mother does want to see all her kids on Christmas.


----------



## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

There are several 'solutions' to this situation. It sounds, to me, like your stepfather has more of a control issue than a dog issue.

1) if you want to see your Mom, you could kennel Rocky while you go there. 
2) you could invite your Mom and sister to your house.
3) you could stay in a hotel but that still leaves Rocky alone for an extended period of time.
4) Don't go. But who is being punished by that? Your Mom? Or you?

Who is paying for the house is really between your father and your mother. If your father is upset over supporting another man, he'll have to do something about it but you can't. So you need to accept that you don't have any control over the situation. As long as he is not living there, he does not determine what goes on in the house...your mother and her husband do.

I sympathize with you. My mother changed after she remarried also.


----------



## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

Unfortunately, it's your dog - not theirs, and they have the right to not want your dog at their house. Some people just aren't dog people.

When you have dogs and have to travel to family obligations, if the dog isn't welcome then you either need to arrange for a dog sitter at your house or board him. I really don't think it's right to throw a fit and miss Christmas because your dog can't come. JMHO

Another option depending on what the weather it like where you are. I've done this before with family that is 2 1/2 - 3 hrs north of me. Take your puppy, keep him in a large crate in your car with some new or favorite crate safe toys (kongs, nylabones, etc). Stuff the kong with peanut butter or some other tasty treat. Go out at least every other hr and take him out to stretch his legs for a walk around the block, potty break, some loving. Then back in the crate. This of course is only an option if the weather allows this. I did this with Akira a number of yrs back for Thanksgiving. Didn't trust the neighbor not to accidently let Akira and Audrey together (Akira will attack her) so Akira went with me. Similar situation. They didn't want a dog in the house, no fenced yard, but we were outside for good chunks of time and she's 100% recall off lead, so she spent a ton of time outside her crate playing with myself and many family members out back.


----------



## ba1614 (Feb 17, 2010)

That's unfortunate that he's too selfish to overlook it for even a day.
If being with your mom and sister for at least some time xmas day is really important, I too would look into a motel room. Sucks, but if that's what it takes, so be it.
I would probably get a few good movies, some good food, and a bottle of wine or 2, and enjoy the quiet time with my pup and touch base with mom and sis by phone.


----------



## Courtney (Feb 12, 2010)

I know your disappointed-but I have to say "their house their rules".

BUT at least they are saying he can come-just needs to be crated. Even though it's not exactly what you want-at least he's with you on Christmas and you can check on him


----------



## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

This is a terrific time to get some really quality training into your pup. Take him to your mom's. Make sure you bring enough to keep him busy in his crate. You're in Texas - even 3 hours away in any direction - I don't think it's going to be too cold on Christmas. If so, purchase one of those small space heaters and you can place that a safe distance away from your pup to keep him warm. 

Spend a lot of time with your pup during your stay. Instead of sitting in the house, take him for some long walks. Really make him tired. When you get back, you visit with your folks while he sleeps. By the time you are sick of your folks, take him back out again. It's a win-win situation. 

Everyone else (besides your step father) will want to socialize with your pup. He'll get a lot of practice regarding strangers. It's a perfect opportunity. You'll be suprised how it will work in your favor. 

Be prepared for things that can go wrong, but don't think because it's not the perfect situation that things won't work out. There are times when you just have to use what you've got and do what you have to to make them come out in your favor.


----------



## jakeandrenee (Apr 30, 2010)

I am completely with Lillie on this!!!


----------



## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

Agree, Lillie has nailed it. What will stepdad think when the whole family is hanging out in the garage with you and your puppy?


----------



## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

Courtney said:


> I know your disappointed-but I have to say *"their house their rules".*
> 
> BUT at least they are saying he can come-just needs to be crated. Even though it's not exactly what you want-at least he's with you on Christmas and you can check on him


From the sound of it, it's NOT 'their' house. It's not his place to make the rules, but the mom is letting him. Unless the father is paying for the house completely, in which case, I say HE makes the rules, NOT stepdad or Mom.

If I was in this situation, I would: 

1. Tell them that he's in the house as much as me if I'm coming for Christmas.
2. They pay for my hotel so they can see me for Christmas if my pup isn't welcome in their house.
3. They don't see me for Christmas. 

That's probably just me though.


----------



## jkscandi50 (Nov 17, 2010)

Yup - this is why I am single and happy with my critters!!  If you don't want my pets, you don't want me either. (I'm old now so - it's aok by me)


----------



## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

jkscandi50 said:


> Yup - this is why I am single and happy with my critters!!  If you don't want my pets, you don't want me either. (*I'm old now so - it's aok by me)*


Hey, I'm young and I think that way! LOL I'm an early learner.


----------



## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

Konotashi said:


> From the sound of it, it's NOT 'their' house. It's not his place to make the rules, but the mom is letting him. Unless the father is paying for the house completely, in which case, I say HE makes the rules, NOT stepdad or Mom.
> 
> If I was in this situation, I would:
> 
> ...


That is absolutely ridiculous. If they don't want a dog in their house, they certainly aren't responsible for paying for someones hotel room or be forced to have a dog in the house.


----------



## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

Rerun said:


> That is absolutely ridiculous. If they don't want a dog in their house, they certainly aren't responsible for paying for someones hotel room or be forced to have a dog in the house.


I don't feel it's ridiculous. 

Because her stepdad doesn't want the dog there, she may have to pay for a hotel. If it was because they had an issue with it, then they should pay for it, IMO. If it was for a valid reason, like someone in the house was allergic to him, then that would be different. 

And it's not like he's going to destroy their house. From the sounds of it, he's a well behaved dog and won't cause much of a ruckus.


----------



## LARHAGE (Jul 24, 2006)

I would book a nice motel for evenings, Motel 6 lets pets in and are cheap, than keep him in the garage in his crate and spend a lot of time socializing him and getting him used to traveling and learning to be good in all kinds of situations, a puppy that age is going to spend a lot of time sleeping, and you can also buy him a knucle bone, you don't have to spend all the time with your mother and the a-hole she's married to, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade, it will be a fun occasion for your puppy, he won't know he's not wanted there.


----------



## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Konotashi said:


> I don't feel it's ridiculous.
> 
> Because her stepdad doesn't want the dog there, she may have to pay for a hotel. If it was because they had an issue with it, then they should pay for it, IMO. If it was for a valid reason, like someone in the house was allergic to him, then that would be different.
> 
> And it's not like he's going to destroy their house. From the sounds of it, he's a well behaved dog and won't cause much of a ruckus.


Sorry...the dog is not the responsibility of the parents. If they don't want the puppy in house, for whatever reasons and regardless of how well behaved he may be, the bottom line is it is not the OP's house. They really don't need to reason and explain themselves.


----------



## GSDolch (May 15, 2006)

Jax08 said:


> Sorry...the dog is not the responsibility of the parents. If they don't want the puppy in house, for whatever reasons and regardless of how well behaved he may be, the bottom line is it is not the OP's house. They really don't need to reason and explain themselves.



I second this 100%

It really doesn't matter who is paying/doing what in the house. That is something that is between them and more than likely you are not privvy to all the information surrounding it. Basically its none of your business.

While it is crappy that they want your dog to stay in the garage, it could be worse. They could not want the dog there at all. In the end it is your choice, but is it really worth getting bent out of shape over?

Lillie gave some great advice, and its not going to damage your dog to be in the crate. Just be sure to take him for plenty of walks and such.

ETA: Your pup is 3 months old, he might be good in your home, but how is it going to look if he starts going in their house? Its not uncommon if the pup smells something and decides to, say, pee in that spot. I wouldnt personally trust a 3 month old puppy 100% no matter how good its been doing. Better to err on the side of caution with pups IMO.


----------



## Kelly's Buddy (Nov 15, 2010)

Jax08 said:


> Sorry...the dog is not the responsibility of the parents. If they don't want the puppy in house, for whatever reasons and regardless of how well behaved he may be, the bottom line is it is not the OP's house. They really don't need to reason and explain themselves.


I agree 100%.

I always ask the hosts whoever they may be. IF it's no, then I make arrangements for my dog. I don't force my pets on anyone and no one will force them on me.

I say who and what comes into my house and for how long.


----------



## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

But it's my understanding that the ones occupying the house are not paying for the house. I feel like the one who pays for the house says what happens in the house.


----------



## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

The one paying for the house doesn't live there. We don't know what kind of arrangement is between the two people, why the father is not living htere, nor do we know what reasons the person has to not want the dog there. And if that becomes an issue then it is between the person paying hte bills and the person living in the house.

And that doesn't make them anti-dog. I have three dogs. I don't want your dog at my house. I don't have to explain my reasons. I have them, they are very good reasons to me, but I don't have to tell you. Does that make sense?


----------



## Kelly's Buddy (Nov 15, 2010)

The real reason, IMHO, is the OP has issues with the stepdad. Who pays for what and what goes on is between her mom, dad and step-dad.


----------



## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

My dad thinks I have an 'unhealthy' attachment to my animals, and if I'm willing to spend my Christmas alone vs. with my family, then maybe I do, but that's my opinion.


----------



## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Jax08 said:


> There are several 'solutions' to this situation. It sounds, to me, like your stepfather has more of a control issue than a dog issue.
> 
> 1) if you want to see your Mom, you could kennel Rocky while you go there.
> 2) you could invite your Mom and sister to your house.
> ...





Jax08 said:


> Sorry...the dog is not the responsibility of the parents. If they don't want the puppy in house, for whatever reasons and regardless of how well behaved he may be, the bottom line is it is not the OP's house. They really don't need to reason and explain themselves.





Jax08 said:


> The one paying for the house doesn't live there. We don't know what kind of arrangement is between the two people, why the father is not living htere, nor do we know what reasons the person has to not want the dog there. And if that becomes an issue then it is between the person paying hte bills and the person living in the house.
> 
> And that doesn't make them anti-dog. I have three dogs. I don't want your dog at my house. I don't have to explain my reasons. I have them, they are very good reasons to me, but I don't have to tell you. Does that make sense?


IMHO Jax08 has given the other person excellent advice and I urge her to consider following it! Whatever the original poster decides to do I hope she'll be happy with her decision and be able to make the best out of a sticky situation.


----------



## Kagogi (Nov 12, 2010)

I think because it's a parent, the OP should be free to have an open and honest discussion with her mom. I personally wouldn't bother booking a hotel or anything of that nature. I'd stay home if I couldn't work something out because I'd just be building resentment while there. Not everyone is like this, and the OP needs to decide if they, like me, would simply be upset the whole visit, or if they could handle it. 

If anyone finds they will not be attending their family's gatherings this year, please consider volunteering. Lots of charities serve more food this time of year than the rest of the year combined. This would prevent you from spending the holidays alone, and you can go to sleep that night knowing you did something kind for others.


----------



## x0emiroxy0x (Nov 29, 2010)

Forgot to mention- when my stepdad was out of town and Rocky was a month 1/2, I bruoght him over and he played inside with me, my mom, and sister ALL day, and slept in his crate in my room. We also took him everywhere in the car because my mom said "he needed to be socialized". She absolutely adored him.

Then last time we visited, (the suprise visit) my mom said the puppy could sleep insiide, and my stepdad said he would divorce her if she let him, because she was "an animal hoarder" (we have 4 Outdoor cats). He also caught my sisters cat and called AC to pick it up. Too bad our next door neighbor is a snoop and watched out our window and called my mom!

The reason I am so upset is because my mother loves the puppy, and is only saying this because my stepdad.

I would board Rocky, but he hasn't had his last round of shots yet and I don't feel comfortable boarding him with a bunch of dogs/ puppies I don't know. (Overprotectice?Maybe)

In response to the last post --- volunteering sounds like a great idea. This past year I have volunteered at the San Marcos animal shelter every Monday (sad every time I leave) and I volunteered at A.W.A.R.E, a thereapeutic horse back riding program for children with disabilities on Sundays. 

The reason I wouldn't get a motel or hotel is because I don't know of a single motel in the sugarland area that is not GHETTO! And hotels...I simply don't have the money. I am a college student waiting tables, and I always keep 400 in my savings for any accidents that happen with Rocky...what if he gets hurt and I wasted my money on a motel? If my mother is going to let my stepdad push her around and pick him and his selfish ways over me, I would rather not go. It's not even a punishment to be alone....I would have a week off work to spend every minute with Rocky and have a ton of time to forward his training.

Thanks for all of the advice and kind thoughts everyone!


----------



## adamdude04 (Apr 15, 2010)

I would invite them over. Why would they object to that?


----------



## Franksmom (Oct 13, 2010)

I have to say I agree with Jaxo8 
I love dogs too but because of the ones I have other dogs would not be allowed to stay here. 
I do have one other thought for you my Dad died 10 years ago, a selfish stepmom who did not want my dog there would not stop me from going and spending the best Christmas I could with my family. Times short. and things happen that shouldnt' don't let your step dad rob you of time with your mom over a rule about a puppy.


----------



## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Sugarland Ghetto???? ....... Just in my opinion - the drive between San Marcos and Sugar land is a nice drive. I'd come down for Christmas day with my pup. Socialize, get him used to taking car trips, visit with your mom and sister, and then drive back home. 

If he isn't up to date on shots, I'd be really picky about where I stop for potty breaks. I wouldn't stop at gas stations, rest areas or truck stops. Any place where others may stop to let their dogs potty. Traveling during day light, I'd take an exit and pull off the road a bit. In the evening you might have to use a little more creativity. Unless of course you travel with your pup in a crate. Then I wouldn't stop at all.


----------



## x0emiroxy0x (Nov 29, 2010)

There aren't really any motels in sugarland because everyone has a decent amount of money. The people who I've seen at the motels the few times I've passed them are often from Missouri City / Rosenberg area it seems. And as a 20 year old woman, I would not feel comfortable in any way being around the kind of men that frequent the area.


----------



## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Your options seem rather limited at this time since your puppy does not have all of his shots. You can't kennel her, you can't leave her alone, you don't feel comfortable staying in a hotel (which would still leave her crated all day). So, you really only have two options left. Either stay home. Or go, crate him in the garage and be able to take him out and play with him quite often. You never know, he might grow on your stepfather. Though I think the fact that he threatened divorce over letting the puppy in the house speaks volumes on his personality.


----------



## Shadow's mum (Mar 13, 2010)

Just thought I'd ask, is your dad still in the area? Could you and Rocky, or even just Rocky stay with him?

Don't miss Christmas and spending time with your mum and sister. Jax has some great ideas. Even if it's just an over night or day trip, Christmas is special and should be spent with family.


----------



## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

x0emiroxy0x said:


> The reason I am so upset is because my mother loves the puppy, and is only saying this because my stepdad.


I agree that 
1) even if your dad is paying bills, your mom and stepdad have the legal right to live in that house and have the right to say what goes and what doesn't go 
2) you never know if this is the last Christmas you would see your mother, and if your last memory would be snubbing her because of the wicked stepfather 
3) life is too short to take these things so personally, so if you make the choice to see this more positively, this can potentially be a very nice Christmas visit with your mom 
4) the option of crating the dog in the garage is viable. Unless there is a freezing snow storm going on at their house, the garage is not such a bad place for a dog to be crated temporarily, and you'll be right near by to take Rocky out for jaunts or a walk
5) you have every right to be upset with your wicked stepfather over his rejecting your dog, but please do not make your mom choose between getting to see you and conforming to his wishes. When everyone is gone back home, she still has to live with the man and this is her choice, even if it is a foolish one.
6) most of my Christmasses are without my family because of my job, not because I choose to separate from them or nurse a grudge that day. Don't lower yourself to your stepfather's pettiness--give him an example of class to rise up to.


----------



## Snickelfritz (Feb 21, 2007)

I just want to add this:hug:I'm sorry your Holiday's are turning out to be crappy:hug:


----------



## Caledon (Nov 10, 2008)

Your mom married this guy, and has to sleep and live with him 365 days of the year. It makes him upset with the thought of having the dog run around his home because of vairous reasons he has. Your mom also has a daughter who she wants to see at Christmas who has a puppy. Your mom has come up with a solution to keep you both happy, but daughter is fighting her. Your mom is now stuck in the middle between two people who both want their way.

I really don't understand the attitude of "invite me, invite my dog, or I'm not coming".

I'm a dog and a cat owner and I would never assume that my pets are welcome in my family's homes. Not everyone loves them like I do.


----------



## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I was also wondering if spending Christmas with your father is a possibility. 

Not everyone is a dog person. Some people are genetically flawed. Sorry, it is true. You should pity the person, and make allowances for him. If he was born without legs, you would. Being born with a total absense of the ability to assimilate the joy that animals produce in us, is at least as cripping. 

I don't know how your mother can stand it.


----------



## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

CaliBoy said:


> I agree that
> 1) even if your dad is paying bills, your mom and stepdad have the legal right to live in that house and have the right to say what goes and what doesn't go
> 2) you never know if this is the last Christmas you would see your mother, and if your last memory would be snubbing her because of the wicked stepfather
> 3) life is too short to take these things so personally, so if you make the choice to see this more positively, this can potentially be a very nice Christmas visit with your mom
> ...


This! I live close to my parents and walk Molly with them most mornings so they adore her but she is not allowed inside their house. They have a nearly 20 year old inside cat and I totally respect that...their house their rules.


----------



## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

selzer said:


> ....
> 
> Not everyone is a dog person. Some people are genetically flawed. Sorry, it is true. You should pity the person, and make allowances for him. If he was born without legs, you would. Being born with a total absense of the ability to assimilate the joy that animals produce in us, is at least as cripping. ...


What a wondeful explanation of people who can't relate to any critter in the animal kingdom!


----------



## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

x0emiroxy0x - just curious - since Christmas is only about a week away, have you decided what you're going to do yet?


----------



## holland (Jan 11, 2009)

I've been there. Spent a week of summer vacation with my cousin and her family who did not want the dog-it ended badly we no longer speak-Hope things work out for you!


----------

