# Be with your pet in them final moments or not ?



## LuvourGSDs (Jan 14, 2007)

I know the time is almost near as our Golden is getting real bad.









I so don't look foward to doing what I know is right. It doesn't get any harder than this.







I love her dearly being our first dog ever & the dog my small boys which are teens now grew up with. This is so hard & I know I will just be a wreak when the time comes when we lose one of our GS's. I have done so much with them & they have a very special place in my heart. I love them all, but you just have those special ones....

I need to make the decision to PTS & when. I hate the thought of calling & setting up a app. to do that.









I know I need to soon.

I just wanted to ask..............

Do you go back with your pet & be there till the end or not ? Is it bad of you if you just can't ?

It's going to be hard enough taking her lifeless body to be cremated. I 'm am choosing to do this.

Just wondered what to do.....

~Thanks~


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

Absolutely. The least I can do for my dogs, that gave me lifetime of love and devotion, is to hold them as I send them on their way. It is fast and peaceful as they go, so you don't have to worry about that. The vet can arrange for the cremation, so you don't have to worry about that either.


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## MaggieRoseLee (Aug 17, 2001)

I think it's a personal decision and NOT a reflection on how much you love your dog. Some people are strong enough to be there and say goodbye, and others would maybe such a wreck it would be upsetting for the dog. 

So it's what's right for the individual and their beloved pet. And either decision is the right one for that specific circumstance.


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## DianaM (Jan 5, 2006)

I think being surrounded by your loved ones as you pass is the ultimate final gift. If I were dying, I would want to have my loved ones with me. Our pets are there for us through thick and thin and while it is a personal decision, I think the very least we can do is be with them on the final steps of the journey. No one ever said it is easy and again, it is YOUR decision and since none of us walk in your shoes no one can judge your decisions and feelings on this private matter. I think the most heartbreaking moment is to see the life that was your pet leave behind a body that is just the shell that held your pet, but since my pets know me and trust me, I'll be there to reassure them. I've not been there when my bird was put down and I regret it. I was too young to really know better. With my ferret I was there. With Renji and all my future pets, I will be there. 

Have you talked about cremation with your vet? Mine took care of transportation to and from the cremation facility and the facility did an exemplary job with my ferret. That was really nice, since I also wasn't really up to taking her myself to the facility.

ETA: I'm very sorry to hear about your golden.







I hope you will have more time together.


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## kbigge (Dec 29, 2007)

I don't think it's bad of you if you can't, but I think you would regret it later if you didn't stay with your friend through the very end. I think personally that our friends should have us with them in their final moments. And it's totally ok to be sad. I worked at a vet clinic for a while, and I assisted in many euthanasia's, and it is totally ok to be upset and cry, as long you don't get totally hysterical in front of your dog. But in my opinion, I think a lot of times the animal knows something serious is going on, and they need that comfort. I think you would be glad you were with her as she passed. My brother and I held our family GSD in our arms while our vet put him to sleep, and I will never regret it. We cried, but as we cried, we were able to comfort, pet, and hold our friend as he died. I have no doubt that Reno was glad we didn't leave him alone w/strangers in the end.

If it makes it better for you, I would see if your vet can make a housecall for the euthanasia. I'm sure your dog would be much more comfortable and less stressed if he was in his own safe place (and so would you), rather than the "scary, foreign" vet clinic. JMO. I know a lot of vets who don't normally make housecalls will make exceptions for euthanisia's. It's just something to think about.

I hope you can find the strength to be with her. It will be a memory you will cherish, I think - you held and comforted your loved one as they passed. If you just absolutely can't be with her, maybe you can have a friend that she is at least familiar with be with her instead. Maybe it will help you get through this if you can make a keepsake before she goes. Like make a mold of her pawprint or something? Or have someone take some pictures of the two of you together before hand? It's just a thought...

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's never easy losing a loved one. You and your Golden are in my thoughts... 

God bless...


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## ellen366 (Nov 2, 2007)

the decision of whether or not to be with your dog when he/she is euthanized is a highly personal one; there is only one right answer and that is the choice that you make; you and you alone must decide if this is right for you to do

personally, i choose to be w/mine and hold them until their lives slip away; it's hard, but it's the choice that i've made since i was old enough to decide; but, that is the choice that is right for me; it may not be for you

so, that being said, look deep inside yourself and decide what works for you; if you choose not to stay, i can assure you that your beloved pet will be held and comforted by a vet tech; you pet will not die alone

wishing you peace; it's a tough decision to make, but it's the most precious gift that we can give our dogs


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## ken k (Apr 3, 2006)

thats a tuff decision to make, myself after having 40 years of GSD`s in my life, it gets harder each time, I have been there for them all, and there all on the mantle and will be buried with me when its my time, when it was time to put my Bo down it was 1am, glad there was no traffic out, it was hard to drive home crying hysterically


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## rockhead (Jul 8, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: DianaMI think being surrounded by your loved ones as you pass is the ultimate final gift. If I were dying, I would want to have my loved ones with me. Our pets are there for us through thick and thin and while it is a personal decision, I think the very least we can do is be with them on the final steps of the journey. No one ever said it is easy and again, it is YOUR decision and since none of us walk in your shoes no one can judge your decisions and feelings on this private matter.


Wow. I started reading through responses as I was contemplating how to word my own response. I then found that Diane took the words right out of my mouth and could not have said it any better. Bravo.

I can't imagine having not been there for Eich.


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## Daisy1986 (Jul 9, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: MaggieRoseLeeI think it's a personal decision and NOT a reflection on how much you love your dog. Some people are strong enough to be there and say goodbye, and others would maybe such a wreck it would be upsetting for the dog.
> 
> So it's what's right for the individual and their beloved pet. And either decision is the right one for that specific circumstance.


I agree with Maggie. I was there with my JRT. My husband could not. He did not want that memory. I understood that. Everyone is different. It is what I had to do, the only thing I could live with, but the memory will always be hard to live with. 
Losing a loved one is hard no matter what. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Kelly


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I agree with Jen


> Quote:I think it's a personal decision and NOT a reflection on how much you love your dog. Some people are strong enough to be there and say goodbye, and others would maybe such a wreck it would be upsetting for the dog.
> 
> So it's what's right for the individual and their beloved pet. And either decision is the right one for that specific circumstance.


If you really don't think you can hold it together and end up bawling and upsetting your dog, I would say it would be better for you pal to go peaceful.

If you can hold the tears, then be with you pal and send them off with all your love.

My DH couldn't be with us when my first GSD went to the bridge. I wasn't outside when we let our mare go to the bridge, she and I had too many up and down times and I didn't want her to be upset by me being there.

The best thing you can do to prepared yourself. Educate yourself and ask the Vet questions before hand if you can. I will always opt for a Sedative shot first with some time for that to take effect, then the final shot. 

No matter what you decide it is never never easy to lose one of our best friends. But the things that help me through it are knowing that I love my dog so so much that I will never left them suffer. Knowing that god had a plan when he decided that a dog's life wouldn't be as long as ours, he knew that there would be so many great dogs and only so many great families he knew he couldn't let us have one dog for our life time. 

My thoughts are with you. 

Val


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## GSDLoverII (May 12, 2004)

As hard as it may be, I think you should be there for them when they need you the most.


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## bullet395 (Jun 18, 2007)

Your beloved will tell you when he/she is ready to leave. There will be signs such as not eating their favorite foods, they will seek solitude in unusual places and if you sit or lay with them for a while and talk with them, they will give you a look to say they are ready to depart. It will be hard, but those last minutes you fear right now will become a valued memory to you in the future. It will help prepare you for other departures, and it is a tremendous gift for the both of you. I would suggest that you be there for him/her, and that you take someone with you to help you get through it. Your presense will comfort your pet, and he will leave knowing that he was with you til the end. I know it hurts to think of this, but it is the final act of responsibility that we owe these amazing creatures. Good luck with your decision.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I am sure everyone has good intentions but I know people who can not be with their animals when they leave for the bridge. Is it that they don't love them as much as some people on this thread, no it is just that they can't handle death. They really do love them, but they maybe aren't as strong as others for keeping their feelings at bay when it is important. Everyone has different life experiences and different personalities, people shouldn't judge but give support through this time. I am sure that Vet staff are just as worried about an owner causing the animal to stress as any thing else.

Whether you decide to be there or not, it still isn't easy saying good bye. Please do what you feel is best for you and your dog.

Val


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## Mandalay (Apr 21, 2008)

My heart goes out to you...

I am sure this has been posted on the board somewhere, but I dont know where, so I will put it here.



> Quote:
> 
> 1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any seperation from you will be very painful.
> 2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
> ...


I agree with being with your pet. Going to the vet is usually upsetting enough to a pet. Going alone into the vet would be worse. The last few moments of our lives should be calm and stress free. Even if you are crying, I think just being there would be help your dog be more calm than being sent in alone.

That being said, it is absolutely a personal choice and no one here would make you feel bad if you just could not do it. Just make sure you give it enough thought and are completely sure about your decision...you cannot go back and do it over if you decide after that you made the wrong choice. 

You can always choose to go in and decide right before it is time as well. My mother went in with her Beardie and left seconds before it was time...she thought she could stay and found that she couldnt at the last minute. My stepdad stayed with the dog.


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## mikaK9 (Oct 8, 2007)

Personally, I would be there with my dog, even though I know I would/will also be a wreck. But I would not think anything bad of someone who chose not to be there. For me, I feel like being able to comfort my dog in those moments is my place. But my dog is also very very attached to me and doesn't really like strangers petting them. So it would be tough on them for me not to be there. I'd also be afraid that if I wasn't there, I might regret it later on, for which I couldn't change things. So I guess I'd rather be there and know that I'd have to deal with more pain than wish later on that I had been there. But again, I don't think less of anyone who chooses not to be there. It's personal and in part depends on the dog and what they're like with you/without you there.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

I also think we can be pretty amazed at what we can do when we need to and don't think of it as can or cannot. 

One of my students was with his mom when she passed of cancer. She was a teacher in our district, so there were a number of us in the hospital to support him, but he stayed in the room with her. 17 years old. He needed to do it. But he didn't have to and he knew any one of us would have taken "his spot" if he needed that instead. I was with my dad-had the hospice people not helped me along the way in terms of acceptance and helping with his care, I might not have been-but I was there and am glad I was. 

So I think perhaps taking someone (or a few people) who can be there with her in your place if you need that to happen, might be a decent plan. 

Read the thread on the sedation shot, catheters, etc. 

I have to say that when you are giving that animal peace and freedom from pain it takes the focus from your feelings and that is how I think people have been able to do this with their loved ones-of all kinds-forever. 

If you are not able to give that animal peace, then that is when you step out. But do what you need to do. 

Best wishes. ETA-I am hoping this is coming out compassionately. It's how it's meant! BLAH! WORDS!

PS-taking her to the crematorium was a very surreal experience, so I understand your anticipation of that as well.


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## TANDB (Dec 12, 2005)

I stayed with my girl, and I cried, and I'm sure she knew it but I sang to her and stroked her head at the same time. Her mind was intact it was her body that gave out. I could see that, even though I was right there, she was afraid when the vet came in to give her the shot. My husband was out of town and couldn't make it and was very upset so I brought the quilted flannel he always wears around the house so she had his smell around her. For all she did for me over her 12yrs in my life, it was the most selfless thing I could do for her, even though it hurt like heck. If you can't bring yourself to be with your pet when they go, please send something with them that smells like you.


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## angelaw (Dec 14, 2001)

I've put down a few dogs now. One I didn't, but she went into kidney failure and passed on her own at the vets clinic while undergoing care. Anyway, I've always stayed with them. Always brought them home to be buried. Vishnu I had cremated. I'll never do it again. Took 2 wks to get his ashes (only pick up once a week, later found out), and I had a really hard time leaving him on the floor of the vets office and walking out the door. Never again. He did start to panic a little when the meds hit, but I told him it was ok and he relaxed and went peacefully. 

Ok, gotta go cry again. Man I hate these threads.


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## LuvourGSDs (Jan 14, 2007)

Thank you so so much everyone on your nice words, thoughts, & sharing what you did.

Well, I had to make that call today as she seized real bad about 4:30 am & I feared she was going then.







All the other dogs were whining/howling & I really think they knew the end was near.

She calmed down a bit & at 7:00 am she was still doing bad, I made that call & got her to the vet at 10:15 am. She went to the bridge about 10:30 am, my guess.







dear Sadie.

The vet did make it easier as she came out to the truck to do it & she did give her the sed. shot before & this really helped. She waited about 10 mins & put her to sleep as I stayed with her. I'm so glad I did make this choice as I feel that was the least I could do. I couldn't stay with my 2 ferrets when that was done yrs. ago nor my brother when he passed at a young age 5 yrs. ago this week. I feel I have gotten somewhat stronger. 

She passed very calmly. They offered to make me a paw print right then & there & I said, yes please. I thought that was so nice. I hugged the vet & said, thank you.

We then drove her to be cremated. It helps that my dad went with us & he knows the guy that does this. He wasn't there, but knew we were coming to drop her off.

She will be taken care off.

It's not a easy thing to do & will never get any easier I feel, but I'm glad I stayed with her & she is free out of pain.

Thanks again


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## LuvourGSDs (Jan 14, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: Angela_W
> 
> Ok, gotta go cry again. Man I hate these threads.


Know what ya mean..............my head is killing me with all the crying & replying to this today made it all come back this afternoon.

This is the very 1st dog our family has ever owned & it was very hard. Made is somewhat easier since she was so bad & I feel gone in her head.

I have never cremated anything as I always have buried, but dealing with a big dog, digging this hard OH ground right now, felt it was best.

I will probably scatter her back to the earth around our woods. I really don't know why I would keep them as I would want her to go back to the earth. Some people do, but not sure I would want to do this. Bury or scatter..set her free.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

*Re: Be with your pet in them final moments or not*

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and I'm glad you were there with at the end. 

Take care.


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## angelaw (Dec 14, 2001)

*Re: Be with your pet in them final moments or not*



> Originally Posted By: LuvourGSsI will probably scatter her back to the earth around our woods. I really don't know why I would keep them as I would want her to go back to the earth. Some people do, but not sure I would want to do this. Bury or scatter..set her free.


I've had Vishnu back for a little over a week. I ordered a nice box online. I plan on doing both with him actually. Just haven't gotten the courage to open the box. SISSY I know, but I just can't yet.

BUT my plan is to scatter part of him along his favorite stomping grounds on our property. He had certain areas he loved to just meander down, in his final months he had stopped doing it except the day I made the decision and he visited on e last time. The other part of his ashes I will print his picture and put it on the front and place him next to Gaudi's picture for his final resting place.

Even though we buried Gaudi, I still can't go back there very often. She has a marker and my husband tends to her site. I know she's there and that's what matters to me. 

It never goes away, but it does get easier.


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## schatzi14 (Sep 29, 2005)

*Re: Be with your pet in them final moments or not*

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## DianaM (Jan 5, 2006)

*Re: Be with your pet in them final moments or not*

I'm very sorry for your loss and that it happened so fast. She is free of any pain and problems now and will be waiting for you.



> Quote:It never goes away, but it does get easier.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

LuvourGSs, I am glad you were abvle to stay with her. I always want that to be there if I can. Sadie is free of the health issues that were bothering her and she is now you Golden Sadie Angel who will watch over you and your pack.

I have my first GSD's ashes in the container in the Antique China Hutch, LOL things belong together. Sorry but we called him gumpa man the last few years. I didn't bury or scatter as he didn't like to get dirty, I know strange dog.

RIP Sweet Sadie.

Val


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## ninhar (Mar 22, 2003)

I am very sorry for your loss, but am also glad for you and Sadie that you were able to stay with her to the end. 

Three years ago when we had to put Cody down, it was very hard as she was our first dog and had grown up with my daughter. My BF and I stayed for the procedure, my daughter felt that she couldn't and has regreted that decision.

Since then I have to put down 2 other GSDs - a foster who had become unpredicable and 3 weeks ago we had to put down my BFs GSD who had cancer. Saturday I had to do that again to my little cat. Then I come home and check the 2 who are left - my 14 year old cat and 11 year old GSD - to make sure they are still breathing. <sigh> It doesn't get easier, but you become somewhat used to it.


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## fourdogsrule (May 10, 2007)

I am so so sorry for your loss.







Sweet Angel Sadie


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## BucksMom (Aug 13, 2007)

Sweet Sadie!!!!! I'm so glad that I had the privilege of meeting you!!! You were such a happy and sweet girl!!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss gsdlver!!!!


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss. I am happy you found the strength to be with Sadie and give her love. strength and support during her last moments. It is hard and time will help a little.

Run with the wind Sadie and say hello to the wonderful canines that left us before you, it is always too soon.


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## Jolynn (Oct 14, 2008)

you should be with your pet


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## staxi2 (Oct 18, 2007)

mine was a huge mistake on my part.... circumstances are not important now as to why it happened the way it did.i feel i was misguided in the information given to me,and that i did not make the best decision i could have.I was not with my dog,,,,and that haunts me and saddens me so much.i will never forgive myself.i had requested verbally and written if this place deemed him to be to mean and he had to be pts..TO PLEASE CONTACT ME FIRST,I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM.it was two weeks before i found out he had been pts,i drooped him off on a thurday evening at 7pm,he was killed first thing friday morning.reason : extremely mean. I could not safe,or be with him at the end,but i loved him and gave him all i could in his short life (died at 3yrs),i gave him what his first owners whom beat ,starved ,caged and left him did not.
I learned too that another of my dogs will never go through this alone,my family says the worst thing is to be there.i dont care,i will be there loving them,holding them,talking to them,and letting them go peacefully.i learned to include my other dogs if i face this situation again,because for 2-3 weeks after this my other 2 dogs,were lost.they did not eat much,they roamed the house looking, sniffing,they went to his bed lying in it looking lost and sad.now a yr and a half later if i bring out the other dog's toys i put away they sniff them and lay down with head on paws.looking at me----like why mommy,where is rocky? if my daughter calls the dog's name aloud my other dogs run around tails wagging looking for him.i never thought they would suffer too,they needed goodbye.as i have researched more and more i see how dogs are killed in places,and it rips me in half. i know i can not change what happened, i can not forgive myself ,but i want to know how he died.was it gas,needle what,i have such a strong urge to know,how this shelter does it.I PRAY IT WAS NOT GAS!!!!!!if i had been there i would have known right,no one can blame me anymore then i already do. forgive me rocky-doodle mommy is sry and she loves you. in closing* yes be there if you can, if not you a family member or friend, someone the dog knows/likes. also yes,give your other dogs the time to say goodbye too. Some life leasons are learned the hard way that break your heart..........take your time deciding how and who you want there,be prepared as best you can under the circumstances. god be with anyone whom faces pts a family pet. you may not think you are strong enough,you would be shocked at the strength you do have inside. I AM SO GLAD YOU WERE THERE,AND YOUR PET WAS TOO.I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS,GOD BLESS YOU


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## macdonc353 (Sep 19, 2008)

We put down our yellow lab 2 yrs ago now, after having her for 17 yrs. SHe was my first dog and we got her when I was 14 yrs old. She was from the pound and the best dog I could have ever asked for. 

We made the decision to put her down and scheduled an appt. It did take us time to make this decision and accept that it was the best for her as she was terribly ill. 

We were able to be with her the entire time, we held her head and rubbed her belly while the vet did his thing. The vet was great, telling us we could take as long as we needed with her. Even he was crying. They arranged with us to have her cremated and the place did a GREAT job. We got her ashes, a tuft of her fur and a concrete imprint of her paw, along with a little poem and sympathy card. It was the nicest thing given we were so upset. I don't regret our decision and was glad I could be there with her as she went to sleep. I realize it's not something everyone can do, but it was a better experience than I had thought it would be.

Dakota's mommy

Dakota gsd


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