# I just can't do it :-(



## Maisie2004

My GSD is 11years old and has become really poorly the last few months. From the age of 5-6 years she has suffered badly with a skin allergies that have always been a challenge to control. She's been through diet changes, steroids, blood tests, a number of shampoos...the list goes on. She is now losing feeling in her hind legs as she often trips. The vet said her front legs are also going. She can't stand for long (1 minute Max) and can't jump or climb the stairs anymore.
She is losing control of her bowels. I wake up to a mess every day and she's so embarrassed she tries to eat it before I see it. I never tell her off.
Her behaviour has changed. She spends most of the days sleeping but we've noticed her wake up not knowing what to do...like some king of dementia.
I love her so much...she's my first dog. Every day I'm not thinking... Is she happy?? Am I being selfish letting her carry on???? 
Im seeking advice or maybe someone is/has going through the same.


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## holland

Yes I have gone through this several times-making an apt with your vet to talk might help-it is a hard decision to make but I think when they are no longer enjoying life it is doing them a kindness


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## Maisie2004

Sorry about the spelling :-/


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## Maisie2004

holland said:


> Yes I have gone through this several times-making an apt with your vet to talk might help-it is a hard decision to make but I think when they are no longer enjoying life it is doing them a kindness


She's due an appointment next month so will see what the vets advise. Last went in November and vet said that you will know when the time is up. I don't think I'll know to be honest.


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## Maisie2004

My old gal with her best buddie


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## Squeetie

There is a very good book I recently read by Eileen Anderson about Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (CCD), or dog dementia, called Remember Me?: Loving and Caring for a Dog with Canine Cognitive Dysfunction. It gives tips for helping your dog during this time and gives some insight to help us humans understand what's going on. It also provides information for talking to your vet about cognitive dysfunction, and even lists some commonly prescribed medications. CCD is not reversible, but may be managed if you catch it early enough and find the right medication for your dog. Of course, a vet visit is need to determine if your girl does indeed have CCD and see what treatment options, if any, may be available.

Eileen also has a blog on dog dementia: Dog Dementia: Help and Support | Loving and caring for a dog with canine cognitive dysfunction or other dementia

I'm sorry you're going through this with your girl. I do not have any advice on her physical issues, but I highly recommend Eileen's book for some insight into your beautiful girl's mental health - it has helped me understand what is likely going on with my old guy, given me ideas of how to manage his environment to keep him safe, and made me think about appropriate enrichment for him.

(I am not affiliated with Ms. Anderson, I just enjoy both of her blogs and loved this book!)


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Maisie Im going through the same thing with my boy Lucky who is about 14. Talk to your vet. Lucky is losincontrol of his bladder we startedit havent seen alot imprivement . He also triesto clean up. Ive yelled stop Lucky and now he tries to clean up. I know we are at the end but his blood levels are perfect. He is losing his mobility in the back and front and has had a personality change. I sat w/ him over the weekend and yesterday he refused to come upthe step tobe in the family room I think based on his avoidance of the fire in the fireplace. Last night he cam up and we cuddled. It is so hard and frustrating. Talk to your vet see if there is anything that can be done


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## Chip18

I'm sorry you are going through this as to if it's time to say goodbye?? Someone else can raise that point. I managed to get my Struddell to the ten-year mark after she could no longer walk (DM) finally took her. But I learned some things

First the bowel movements in her sleep, the easiest thing for dealing with that will be to keep potty pads under her. :

GoodNites Disposable Bed Mats, Jumbo Pack 9 Count - Walmart.com

Most likely to stop her from eating the poo, you'll have to tell her "NO" and assure her that now it's "OK" to go potty in the house.

If the front legs are going, that's not good .... but if she is just having trouble getting up but is otherwise fine that can be dealt with.

For walks and the tripping, use a support hareness, I've statred using one with Rocky


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## Maisie2004

Thankyou..will take a look


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## Maisie2004

Squeetie said:


> There is a very good book I recently read by Eileen Anderson about Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (CCD), or dog dementia, called Remember Me?: Loving and Caring for a Dog with Canine Cognitive Dysfunction. It gives tips for helping your dog during this time and gives some insight to help us humans understand what's going on. It also provides information for talking to your vet about cognitive dysfunction, and even lists some commonly prescribed medications. CCD is not reversible, but may be managed if you catch it early enough and find the right medication for your dog. Of course, a vet visit is need to determine if your girl does indeed have CCD and see what treatment options, if any, may be available.
> 
> Eileen also has a blog on dog dementia: Dog Dementia: Help and Support | Loving and caring for a dog with canine cognitive dysfunction or other dementia
> 
> I'm sorry you're going through this with your girl. I do not have any advice on her physical issues, but I highly recommend Eileen's book for some insight into your beautiful girl's mental health - it has helped me understand what is likely going on with my old guy, given me ideas of how to manage his environment to keep him safe, and made me think about appropriate enrichment for him.
> 
> (I am not affiliated with Ms. Anderson, I just enjoy both of her blogs and loved this book!)


thankyou will take a look


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## Maisie2004

Daisy&Lucky's Mom said:


> Maisie Im going through the same thing with my boy Lucky who is about 14. Talk to your vet. Lucky is losincontrol of his bladder we startedit havent seen alot imprivement . He also triesto clean up. Ive yelled stop Lucky and now he tries to clean up. I know we are at the end but his blood levels are perfect. He is losing his mobility in the back and front and has had a personality change. I sat w/ him over the weekend and yesterday he refused to come upthe step tobe in the family room I think based on his avoidance of the fire in the fireplace. Last night he cam up and we cuddled. It is so hard and frustrating. Talk to your vet see if there is anything that can be done


Sorry you're going through the same thing.


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## Chip18

I'm sorry you are going through this as to if it's time to say goodbye?? Someone else can raise that point. I managed to get my Struddell to the ten-year mark after she could no longer walk (DM) finally took her. But I learned some things

First the bowel movements in her sleep, the easiest thing for dealing with that will be to keep potty pads under her. :

GoodNites Disposable Bed Mats, Jumbo Pack 9 Count - Walmart.com

Most likely to stop her from eating the poo, you'll have to tell her "NO" and assure her that now it's "OK" to go potty in the house.

If the front legs are going, that's not good .... but if she is just having trouble getting up but is otherwise fine that can be dealt with.

For walks and the tripping, use a support harness, I've started using one with Rocky (Wobbly Dog) as unless we are in conflict with charging dogs (how to deal with them) he is prone to falling down a lot.

So we use a harness:
[ame]http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Lifting-Aid-Mobility-Harness/dp/B008EXJIG2[/ame]

I'm not entirely "thrilled" with the design but it works fine! He's pretty much eager to drag me up and out of ditches and tackle boulder strew travels because hey "Dad has my back (quite literally!) 

I think that this a better design:
Help 'Em Up? Dog Harness | Hip Dysplasia | Dog Carrier

And that was going to be the one I was going to get next but I still have Struddells, Walking Wheels, Wheelchair and I am going to upsize it for "Rocky" to use at some point.

I then saw this:
Walkin' Lift Combo Harness | Lifting Harness

As it's both a mobility harness and a wheelchair harness, it's a win/win. As I discovered in life with dogs with mobility problems you do "need" both a "mobility harness and at some point a wheelchair" "if" dog and owner are willing to keep going. 

More info:
DEGENERATIVE MYELOPATHY - Gentry Boxers

And I was "Gunther" here:
https://boxerworld.com/forums/threads/thatcher-has-dm-anyone-use-dwanecart-wheelchair.168454/

And you are not alone:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/caringfordm/1251643984852580/?ref=notif&notif_t=group_activity

I don't know what is going on with your dog but if he is otherwise happy and "mobility" and messes are the issue ... there you go. And sorry you are going thru this ... take care. :hug:


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## Mister C

This is the really tough part of owning dogs.

I went through this a couple of years ago with Maddie. What helped me decide is the quality of life scale. Here is one of them. There are others.

http://vet.osu.edu/assets/pdf/hospital/companionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf

Bottom line is that the "when" is a very personal decision. We went further down the road than some but we don't judge anyone for their own decision. It's hard. But its also part of the responsibility and friendship that you have. Only you can do that one last favor for your friend.

My heart goes out to you.

Warm regards,

Michael


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## Stevenzachsmom

I went through this with my Annie. She lived to be 14.5. Did well, until the last year. Rear end weakness, no muscle mass, bowel incontinence, vision & hearing loss, dementia. There is a part of us that hopes so much that they will go peacefully in their sleep. That seldom happens. We put it off and struggle with the decision.

I had to look at Annie's quality of life. She too, was embarrassed by her accidents and would clean up after herself. She could no longer do steps, which meant she could no longer sleep in my upstairs room. Sometimes, she would just fall over. The deciding factor was that I needed surgery. Being Annie's primary care giver, I knew I would not be able to lift her. Not that other family members wouldn't help, but they weren't home with her, like I was.

In my area, there is a vet who come to homes. I called her about putting Annie to sleep, so she would not experience the stress of going to the vet office. The vet was very nice and said we could evaluate Annie first and if I felt it wasn't time, we would postpone. The vet came. She took one look at Annie and said, "Oh, it's time." 

Sometimes, we are too close to the situation to see how bad it really is. "It is better to put a dog to sleep two weeks too soon, than one day too late." That is so true. I wish I could say that I had a moment, when I just knew. I think, sometimes, our minds know, but our hearts refuse to accept it.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

I just used the OSYU Knoing When . It covered alot. The pads could be realy helpful and apear big enough.Maisie. I think this is the hardest part ogf being a pet parent . My other two GSds Daisy and Chevy were found to have large tumors on a internal organ. That decision was trhe only option. Thunder passed in her sleep. Dodger and Lucky both had signs of dementia.bpth alot like late stage DM. Talk w/ your vet . Ive been tolf that I need to look at five things they loved in daily life including eating and resting when you have less then three its time. my thoughts and prayers are w/ you and your beautiful girl.

Maggi
PM me anytime. I did have Chevy leave us at home . we have a great vet. The plan is the same for Lucky.


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## Maisie2004

Mister C said:


> This is the really tough part of owning dogs.
> 
> I went through this a couple of years ago with Maddie. What helped me decide is the quality of life scale. Here is one of them. There are others.
> 
> http://vet.osu.edu/assets/pdf/hospital/companionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf
> 
> Bottom line is that the "when" is a very personal decision. We went further down the road than some but we don't judge anyone for their own decision. It's hard. But its also part of the responsibility and friendship that you have. Only you can do that one last favor for your friend.
> 
> My heart goes out to you.
> 
> Warm regards,
> 
> Michael


Thanks for the life scale link. She scored low on most of them. But high on a couple. Will see how she goes I think


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## SuperG

Been through the grinder as well....like most all of us in here. I lost one to DM and I believe that experience taught me the most regarding the tough decision which needs to be made. It's ever so easy after the deed is done to second guess yourself as to whether one acted to quickly or allowed the dog to linger with undue hardship. I would rather torment myself with the notion that I may have acted too quickly rather than struggle with the idea that I may have kept buddy around too long for my own selfish reasons or optimistic hopes while the dog suffered.

Let your conscience be your guide as they say and approach the situation in the most selfless fashion possible.....the final gesture you make for your lifelong companion is one of the toughest realities of having a dog but if you think of your dog and not yourself.....you will always make the best decision.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this...really sorry. Every time I read a post by someone in this forum ( regarding this topic) it brings me back to the times I have had to say my final goodbyes.....it sucks, it hurts so much but it comes with the stewardship we accepted when that pup showed up on that very first day. This much I can say for certain....if it didn't pain you so much...then you never really loved your dog as much as you do and have....so good for you for offering your dog such a good life through the good and hard times as well.


SuperG


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## DutchKarin

I think of it less than "the right time" and more of considering whether or not we have entered the reasonable range. Not all dogs but many (most?) will enter the range where any end of life decision is reasonable. Try not to agonize, the dog will pick up on that stress. It is our curse as the human caretaker and they rely on us for this service as well. 

Its hard. Part of her will live on in you and part of you will die with her. 

Kind regards to you and a pat for her.


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## newlie

Many things can be managed with a older dog. There are ramps and lifts and pad and medications and all kinds of products. 

We all struggle with knowing when it's the right time to say goodbye but I think sometimes it helps to notice if they are still taking any enjoyment out of life at all. Do they still enjoy eating? Do they like tottering out to lie in the sun in the backyard? Do they still periodically pick up a ball and look hopefully at you? Just simple things. With my lab, I always said I would know it was time when he stopped eating. He loved to eat so much. My husband persuaded me that it was the right time and so we had Max put to sleep. Max ate his last meal with all the gusto he usually had. My husband may have been right, but I still wish I had waited till Max stopped eating.


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## Maisie2004

Thankyou so much...really appreciate everyone's replies. It is a difficult one. If she didn't have the dementia I'm sure I'd be the one building her a wheelchair for her legs. She's turning into a dog I don't know anymore and I really want to remember her as the dog that used to greet me at the door..who gave me her paw..that loved to follow me (which to be honest..used to annoy me..lol ). There is no sparkle in her eye anymore. It's sad seeing her make a mess on the floor without her knowing...her constant barking for no reason...her clicky hips wherever she walks...not forgetting the battle I have with her twice a day trying to get her to have her meds.


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## Maisie2004

So here's an update. Maisie went to the vets today. We had to carry her in as she collapsed just outside the door after just walking a couple of metres from the car. She then went for another dog which shocked the **** out of me as it was so out of character for my fluffy girl. The vet done the usual checks..Maisie has a very strong healthy heart beat.
Unfortunately Maisie's front legs are just as bad as her back..she has started to walk using more of the leg as a paw ( if that makes any sense). She's also still pooping in the house about twice a day. We've come to the decision that her quality of life sucks. We now plan to give her the best 2 weeks of her life before she goes. I love her very much :-(


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## selzer

I'm sorry. 

This is the rough part. 

This is the last gift you can give your pretty girl, to help her go without pain and fear, and to be with her.


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## newlie

Bless your heart, I feel so bad for you. It is such a heartbreaking thing to have to do. 

When faced with this kind of decision, I think most of say we don't know the right thing to do. I know that I did when my Maxie came to the end of his life. As someone earlier wrote, it's probably not that we don't know, it's just that we don't don't want to accept it. Someone told me once, or I read it somewhere, that whenever you are faced with a decision and you don't know which way to go, pick the hardest choice because it's what you know in your heart is the right one.

If you can find a vet that will come to the house, I think that would be great.

Yes, give your girl the best two weeks that you can and then hold her in your arms and talk to her and pet her while she goes to sleep. It is terribly hard, but it's the last thing you can do for her.


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## maxtmill

So sorry you are going through this. We have all been there, and it never gets any easier. Our old puggie became quite demented when he got older. We were happy to show him where the food bowl was, the water bowl, the doggy door, his bed. He could do no wrong, was NEVER scolded for any "mistakes". He still knew us and liked to be with us, still enjoyed his food. When he got to the point where he had trouble walking, we carried him outside, and I would lift his leg for him so he could pee. It was when he started peeing and pooping on himself that he seemed to have lost his dignity, and he seemed to be telling us it was time. It was the most heartwrenching thing, but we knew we had to help him to the Bridge. Our vet was wonderful. We had our Max for 14 years. Now, our last pug is 15 3/4 years old! She is now very confused, but still seems to enjoy life. If she gets to the point where she doesn't know us, I think that would be frightening for her, and that would be the deciding factor. For me, if they lose their dignity or get scared, that is it. It is different for every dog and owner. We must never let our dogs suffer just because we want them to live so badly.


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## lorihd

I'm so sorry to read this, just torture to know when is the right time. we took our doxie, just short of her 17th bday to be euthanized, the one thing I do regret was not having the vet come to the house, I would have made it so much easier for her and me  lori


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## sheps4life

I'm glad to hear you're going to relive Maisie of her pain, discomfort and unhappy life. Once these beautiful GSDs lose control of their bowel movements and extremities their lives are essentially over.


It's not an easy decision but it's one that has to be made and I lost my Hana to DM, Hana's hind legs went into paralysis over night, it was a horrible 24 hours however I let her go because I couldn't watch her live in that condition. Its been 4 years and I still miss her but I know I did her right. 


I wish you well these are tough times for you and your family


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## Kayos and Havoc

Oh I am so sorry! You are making the right decision for her tho. Sometimes the greatest act of love is to help end their suffering. 

Bless you.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family. This is the worst par t. Give her lotsof cuddle time. Its the hardest thing we do letting them go but its the most generous gift we can give them. Take care,


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## shedogs

It's never easy. Take solice in knowing you are doing the right thing. I still cry for every pet I ever lost. It just means you are a good person. Take care.


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## wolfy dog

Wishing you strength. Spoil her and I hope you can keep her pain free. I have lost many dogs over the years but losing a GSD is the very worst.


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## Malachi

I'm very sorry to hear about your dear canine friend. I've been through this numerous times, and just had to euthanize my ten and a half year old Lab in November of last year...and it was very hard to do, she was like my shadow, always very near me, but I could not allow her suffering from cancer to continue. Although I have a puppy, still I miss Flair terribly, and think of her every day. When the suffering gets so great, and the joy is gone from their eyes, it's an act of love and compassion. I can say, as sorrowful and painful as it is to let them go, there is also a sense of relief no longer watching them suffer each day. I wish you the best, and will hold you in my heart. Blessings!


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## CanineKarma

Maisie2004 said:


> Is she happy?? Am I being selfish letting her carry on????
> Im seeking advice or maybe someone is/has going through the same.


In my personal opinion you are keeping your dog alive for your own psychological comfort. Thinking that somehow you are doing the dog a benefit by letting it continue to live. I am guilty of this also. Our last dog a 14YO Shiloh Shepherd we put to sleep last January. We started discussing putting him down right before thanksgiving but we thought we could give him a little more time.

We made a selfish decision to keep him alive, his final month he had no life. 
My wife told me he was smiling when he passed.


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