# It's just so wrong



## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

As many of you know, I have been a foster home for many years and usually get the sick dogs or the dogs with behavior problems. I have had my current foster for about 6 months now and am putting her down tomorrow due to her severe fear aggression.

She's a 7 year old, minnie aussie, that's very cute in her own way - even does a lot of tricks - but is so severely fear aggressive she's unadoptable as her potential for biting someone is so high. This dog would need to find a home with no kids, no dogs, no cats, and no friends; basically she needs to live in a bubble where she can be protected from the outside world.

This is not her fault; she was born this way and she didn't get the early intervention she needed to manage her problem in a more acceptable way. Bad genetics win out this time. I've done everything I possibly can to try and make her even a little better, but it's too late for her.

What's even worse is that I'm putting down a dog without a family of her own and no one to grieve for her, other than myself. It feels so wrong to just leave her body at the vet for a mass cremation because no one loves her enough to bring her home to rest.

This sucks so bad and I totally blame the idiot BYB that bred her without thought for health or temperament; now, this dog is the one that has to pay for it.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

That's so sad-- but don't discount the kindness, care and affection she knew for the last 6 months with you. She won't die unloved.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

She is seven years old and you have had her for six months. How do you know this is genetic? What happened during the first 6.5 years?

I am sorry you are going through this, I hope it makes you feel better to kick the breeder whether or not he deserves it.


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## Mac's Mom (Jun 7, 2010)

My heart goes out to you.


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## Mac's Mom (Jun 7, 2010)

Stosh said:


> That's so sad-- but don't discount the kindness, care and affection she knew for the last 6 months with you. She won't die unloved.


agreed


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

selzer said:


> She is seven years old and you have had her for six months. How do you know this is genetic? What happened during the first 6.5 years?
> 
> I am sorry you are going through this, I hope it makes you feel better to kick the breeder whether or not he deserves it.


I know this dog's history and where the dog came from and she has been like this from day one.

If you don't have anything not nasty to say, keep it to yourself.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

Elaine, I am so very sorry. You did your best and gave this girl a chance. She won't die alone, because she has you. I don't think it really matters what happens to her body. She won't be in that body anymore and will finally know peace. No more fear for this poor girl.

Bless you for being foster and taking on the tough ones.


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## lizzyjo (Jan 6, 2011)

:hugs:aw:


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Elaine, I know it's cold right now but is it possible to bury her instead of leaving her? Do you have anything that would break through the frozen ground? 

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is terribly unfair to the dog and to you. I truly do believe sometimes it's kinder to release them from their demons. If we were only so kind to humans.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Who are you?

I do not ascribe to stepford posting.

ie. I am going to put my dog on a rice diet.

Stepford poster: That's nice, rice is nice and fluffy

You did not say in your post that you knew this dog's entire history. You said you had it for six months and it is seven years old. Someone has been managing this dog for 6.5 years. Maybe, more than one someone whatever. We were not told that. We were just told, nasty byb didn't care about temperament. Maybe true, may not, but by your post it was not evident. 

So tell someone else to shut up. 

It is sad to have to put the dog down. Now that we know that she has been this way since birth, we can rule out medical conditions and evil gits making her that way, though I sometimes wonder if a genetic condition for fear aggression is not some type of undiagnosed condition, like in Cavelier King Charles Spaniels when the scull is too small for the brain and siezures and aggression happens. 

Who is being nasty anyway. Kicking breeders around on this site is just sport for some of you I guess, but certainly not nasty. But if you want to kick breeders around an not have someone say something about it, maybe you should clarify a little bit better than "my dog has a broken toe nail, rotten BYB!"


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## patdowdjr (Jun 22, 2000)

Hi Elaine,

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. She was loved for the last 6 months so she definitely is not alone.

I unfortunately understand your situation as I used to own a female GSD named Lucy who I got from a local breeder here in MN. She had terrible fear aggression. The only friendliness she would display would be towards my ex-wife, myself, and Jack (my male GSD at the time).

I do not know all of the details as I got divorced back in 2002 and never saw her again, but I did hear she eventually bit someone and was put down. It's a shame.

Patrick


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## GSDElsa (Jul 22, 2009)

So sorry to hear this. Can you bring her ashes home to scatter so she gets laid to rest properly?


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## GSDElsa (Jul 22, 2009)

Elaine said:


> This is not her fault; she was born this way and she didn't get the early intervention she needed to manage her problem in a more acceptable way. Bad genetics win out this time. I've done everything I possibly can to try and make her even a little better, but it's too late for her.


Sue, I think this paragraph made it clear that she knew the history of the dog.

Someone is obviously grieving so I'm not sure this is the time for you to go on a rampage about something.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

There is a thread, a poll on what is done with remains. Not everyone takes the remains home and buries them. 

I think you did what you could for the dog, and that is all anyone could do. What is important is staying with her until then end. The shell is just a shell. 

Sorry.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

I am so sorry, Elaine. Feel free to share her picture here and tell us more about her. I have the ashes of a bubble foster - she could not be around other animals, people...and was always agitated. I would have loved to have found that bubble home but knew that if the fictional family/person made a mistake, she would have killed another dog, or injured a person. Others I have been able to keep, protect, her I could not. So please take care. I am very sorry.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

GSDElsa said:


> Sue, I think this paragraph made it clear that she knew the history of the dog.
> 
> Someone is obviously grieving so I'm not sure this is the time for you to go on a rampage about something.


Elaine is an established member on this forum and I should have looked at who made the post. But from just anyone, that paragraph really does not mean they knew who the dog's entire history, it could just be what someone thinks is the case -- there is no blood test for fear aggression due to bad genetics.


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

Agree with GSDElsa, a dog with good genetics but a bad start in life can be worked with.
No amount of effort can change a dog with bad wiring in his/her brain. 

Elaine, I'm sorry - it does suck!


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## Liesje (Mar 4, 2007)

Besides, does it really matter *why* the dog is the way it is? Genetics, rage syndrome, seizure disorder, etc, etc....the outcome is the same, the dog lives in anxiety and fear its entire life and will bite people.

Elaine, thanks for doing what you could, giving this dog a chance and showing it some compassion.


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

JeanKBBMMMAAN said:


> I am so sorry, Elaine. Feel free to share her picture here and tell us more about her. I have the ashes of a bubble foster - she could not be around other animals, people...and was always agitated. I would have loved to have found that bubble home but knew that if the fictional family/person made a mistake, she would have killed another dog, or injured a person. Others I have been able to keep, protect, her I could not. So please take care. I am very sorry.


Thanks, Jean and the others that know how awful this problem can be. Jean, you hit the nail on the head: even if I found a bubble home, unless they were really on the ball, she is an accident waiting to happen. I can keep her in a bubble, but Joe Public generally can't. 

I had a furnace repair man over a couple of months ago and I had her crated when he came in. She was busy snarling and shaking in fear in her crate. The guy went down into the basement to deal with the furnace and I thought I would just let her outside to relieve her stress. I was shocked when she took off like a shot to the basement to get the repair guy. Forturnately, he was a big guy and not impressed and didn't move. I was yelling at her to stop and quickly removed her. I truly figured she would just go outside and not try for the basement. This was a bite narrowly averted. It might not be the next time.

I called the vet and they are going to let me give her the pre-sedation shot out in my car. She loves the car and this way I can reduce her - and my - stress by having her go to sleep in a place she's comfortable before taking her in to be put down. I don't want her last moments to be fear filled with her fighting everyone and maybe biting someone.

I would bring her ashes home, but it costs more and the rescue is always broke - as most of you are familiar with.

It just breaks my heart for a dog to die without a family to miss her and then to leave her there is just killing me. She is the first dog that I have deemed unadoptable and have had to put down. This is horrible.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

How much more is it to bring home the ashes? I am not suggesting you do. You certainly do not want to start a shelf for ashes of dogs deemed unadoptable. That would hurt every time you look at it. 

But maybe you could take the amount of the extra and in her name bequest it to another dog that you will be able to help. Without the actual money giving or taking, just something to point out that this is her gift for the work that you are doing there. 

You have to make choices about money, and if you can give heartworm treatment, or puppy shots to a dog that will live or bring ashes home, you have to do what you have to do. And as much as we do not like to admit it we sometimes have to make choices based on cost.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Elaine - cut a piece of fur and put it in a little keepsake box. Keep it or bury it somewhere safe where she liked to be, if there was such a place. If that doesn't feel good, I planted a butterfly bush so I could think of her freedom from this world. 

When fear aggression goes backwards, it's so much easier than when it goes forwards. That's when the decisions have to be made. 

General public lets their guard down and does it IN public where they and the dog have no chance (oh, look how good she's doing, I can let her off leash this time...kind of thing). 

It is horrible - and especially when you have good experiences in working through it and getting these dogs into remission. It's a shock. It took me a while to shake what I had done, and a while to feel comfortable taking anything but a well tested, stable dog in - or like you just stick with the ill for a while. As you can tell, I am still a little lost about it and it was a few years ago - and I feel so badly for you.


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## valreegrl (Nov 11, 2009)

Elaine, you most likely provided the best loving home this poor girl had every received.
That in itself is worth the effort. 

Don't think of yourself as just the foster. You will be mourning her loss, and essentially became her "forever home". 

There is a book called 



, fictional but very well written and exactly how I hope a dog thinks and feels. It will certainly lift your spirits in a time like this.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

Elaine I'm so sorry you have to make this difficult decison and carry it out I love Jean's idea of cutting some of her fur as a keepsake. 

I'm sure these last few months have been the best of her life, some things just can't be fixed..

Hang in there, will be thinking of you


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

Elaine, I'm sorry you had to make the decision to send her peacefully to the bridge. She was lucky to have you in the last days of her life, and that you were compassionate enough to do right by her.
Run free lil Aussie


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

You have probably provided the best 6 months of this girl's life and given her the most loving home she has ever known. I am in a similar situation with my foster. Right now Tessa has an unknown medical problem that makes her "unadoptable" but even when she was adoptable, let's be honest, who is looking for an elderly dog that is missing most of her teeth, has severe arthritis/ dysplasia, resource guards, and is missing a good chunk of her hair. Even the one couple that wanted to give a home to a dog "that no one else wanted" didn't give her a second glance. Odds are really good that I will be her forever home. But she has bonded to me and Dharma and we both love her just as much. 

When the time comes for her to be helped to the bridge, I will spend my own money to have her privately cremated. I don't know if I will keep her ashes or spread them but like you I hate the idea of her being thrown away in death the way she was in life. I feel like no matter how long she has left, at least I have given her the best months of her life and she has finally had a good home and known love and been treated kindly. The same can be the same for your girl. Maybe her time wasn't long and maybe she didn't find that perfect home but she found you and she got to know love and kindness during the time you had her. You made all the difference in her world. As sad as you are for doing what you have to do just remember that.


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

I am so sorry this must be very hard on you. As everyone has said and I so agree, you have been her life for the past 6 months. She will not go alone and unloved because you will be there and you love her. You probably have understood her more than anyone, and when the time comes she will be waiting for YOU at the bridge.

I like the idea of making a small donation or something in her name if you can.


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

This may be a bit unusual for a rescue dog, but this dog actually had a good family for most of her life. They taught her tricks and some fairly good obedience and she was a pretty well behaved dog. They didn't deal with her problem other than keeping her in a bubble. They had a baby last year and gave her up when she couldn't accept another person in her bubble. Let me tell you, she really doesn't like new people and I wouldn't trust her around a baby under any circumstances.

They weren't forthcoming when they gave her up and placed her themselves with a family. She came into rescue from there after biting the contractor that was walking through the house. Nobody told us a lot of her background or about the bite until we started questioning why she was so fear aggressive; then we got the whole story.

I am having a very hard time with this. Even though she's not my dog and I'm not that attached to her - I try not to get too attached to any of the fosters as I know I will have to give them up - this is so painful for me. I hate seeing a dog put down for something she has no control over. Sitka is deeply messed up in her head and I can't fix that.


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## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

Elaine, you are in an impossible position with a dog that didn't get the training at the right time that might have made a difference and no where for her to go. I can understand Sitka, or any dog without the right behavioral skills, biting a stranger in her house. It's all easy to understand-until we get to her euthanasia.

Something else that you know from every day living with Sitka-she is tormented by her fears. If something new enters her environment-it's **** for her. Knowing her suffering and the absence of the ideal 'bubble' home-what else can you do?

I'm terribly sorry that it has come to this for you and for the innocent dog.

Mary Jane


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

i'm so sorry. i wish you strength. take care.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

Elaine, Mary Jane is so right. Sitka's fear has caused her to suffer as much as any painful, incurable, physical illness. None of us would stand by and allow an animal to suffer physically. Releasing the animal from that suffering is the ultimate kindness. This is what you are doing for Sitka.

I loved Jean's ideas of keeping some of Sitka's fur or planting something. Horse people often keep some of the mane and tail. I frequently plant some type of bush as a living reminder of that which has been lost. Of course you will grieve for Sitka in your own way and must do what is right for you. Anything that gives you comfort and closure is a good thing.

I hope you have someone to go with you tomorrow. I hate the thought of you going alone. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. And...I too would love to see pictures of Sitka, if/when you feel up to posting them.

Take Care,
Jan


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

She isn't dying unloved and unknown. She has had you for the last 6 months and you love her enough to do what is right for her. And now she has all of us, too.

Hugs to you. I'll be thinking about you both.
Sheilah


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

JeanKBBMMMAAN said:


> Elaine - cut a piece of fur and put it in a little keepsake box. Keep it or bury it somewhere safe where she liked to be, if there was such a place. If that doesn't feel good, I planted a butterfly bush so I could think of her freedom from this world.


This is the best idea ever. Thank you for sharing it.
Sheilah


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## DunRingill (Dec 28, 2007)

selzer said:


> She is seven years old and you have had her for six months. How do you know this is genetic? What happened during the first 6.5 years?


Doesn't really matter, because good temperament bounces back.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Elaine said:


> I....If you don't have anything not nasty to say, keep it to yourself.


One has a better chance of getting the guaranteed sympathetic response if one sends emails to trusted friends rather than post on a BB. Telling one of us to shut up tends to get some of our backs up.


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## Kola_2010 (Jan 22, 2011)

I am sorry, that is really sad. At least she will be at rest and freed from her fears about this world. 
You gave her a loving home when she needed it the most, and will be there for her to remember the loving 6mts of her life in a good home with you.
Maybe she rest in peace, and find eternal happiness. 
We are all here for you, I know this has to be difficult! *hugs*


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

It's not the best pic, but here's a pic of her tonight.


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## Kola_2010 (Jan 22, 2011)

aww Elaine she is a beauty, and you are doing the best you could do for her. 

*HUGS* 

Please let us all know how you are doing. We all care about this. Its hard no matter what; its not easy. Everyone here has you and her in our thoughts, she isnt alone, and neither are you.


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

You will both be in my heart and thoughts. I feel horrible for you and your foster. 

She will be free from all of the fears that have haunted her life. She knew love and caring in your good hands. 

At times like these, you have to draw your strength from the ones you have saved. As hard as those of us deeply involved in rescue try, we cannot save them all. It does not make it hurt any less, but thinking about some of the saves, especially when it was a really messed up or unehealthy dog, that YOU turned around - that YOU saved, that is still on this earth, and now loved by a family because of YOUR efforts - well, it makes it just a little more bearable. 

I'll hug every dog here a little longer and harder tonight in honor of your foster.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

Elaine, my heart goes out to you. I've been there in January and took my girl to the vet to put her down. Not because she had bad genetics. She had some of the best genetics out there and was very well bred. Sometimes nature goes funny ways and even if they have the best possible genetics...something can go wrong all the time. 

However, since you know the dogs history and know where she is coming from it's a different story. She does not die unloved. You gave her love and the best possible home you could give to her. It sucks. Seven years, in my book, is not old and she could have many years but if she is fighting demons that you just can't make go away, it's the best to do. 

While I questioned myself for the first week after I put down my girl, I now see that it was the best choice for all of us. For her, for myself, for Yukon, Indra and Judge. 

Sometimes we have to make these unpopular decisions and nobody knows what it is like unless they walk in your shoes. :hugs:

Hang in there. We are all here for you.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

I am so very sorry. :hugs:


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## Sunstreaked (Oct 26, 2010)

:hugs:

I'm so sorry.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Stevenzachsmom said:


> Elaine, I am so very sorry. You did your best and gave this girl a chance. She won't die alone, because she has you. I don't think it really matters what happens to her body. She won't be in that body anymore and will finally know peace. No more fear for this poor girl.
> 
> Bless you for being foster and taking on the tough ones.


Couldn't agree more.


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## irongrl (May 24, 2010)

I am so sorry..:hugs:


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

I put Sitka down this morning. The vet let me sedate her in the car where she was happy and calm; I brought her in after she was asleep where they put her down. The only good thing in this is that whatever demons she had in her head are silenced now.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

rest in peace sitka.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

I am sorry, Elaine. Sitka was a beautiful girl. Rest is peace sweet girl. Free at last.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

middleofnowhere said:


> One has a better chance of getting the guaranteed sympathetic response if one sends emails to trusted friends rather than post on a BB. Telling one of us to shut up tends to get some of our backs up.


 
Sadly, there are a few people who only show up in the rescue section say something tactless or nasty, never to help a dog. Sad for them.

Elaine, please disregard those who lack compassion and kindness in this difficult situation, those who don't do this kind of thing will never understand. 
Considering the circumstances and her personality, your girl did not have a bad life, really. Her first family probably loved her and you loved her too. It is a tragedy that she cannot be helped, sometimes it is behavior, sometimes it is health, sometimes age, sometimes just the lack of space. We cannot help them all.

You can buy her a nice, yummy meal and do something special that you will remember. Positive thought being beamed your way. You will be in our prayers.


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

:rip: Good-by Sitka, no more fear, no more confusion. 

Elaine, thank you for doing your best with her, and for having the courage and the strenght to be the one to bring her in and send her on.


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## gsdraven (Jul 8, 2009)

RIP Sitka.

Thank you, Elaine, for helping Sitka try to overcome her troubles and for making her last day a peaceful one.


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## Anja1Blue (Feb 27, 2008)

I came very late to this thread, and feel that most of what can be said, has been already. There is something haunting about a dog - or a person - which cannot be saved, and I can only imagine what you must have gone through as you were making the very difficult decision to end Sitka's life. I think in time you will see that what you did was to give her the greatest gift that you could - you set her free from the terrors of this world. My heart goes out to you as I know you will grieve - these critters work their way into our hearts, whether they are our own or we are just caring for them for a while...... but you did the right thing, the kind thing. Please take care of yourself, and thank you for all you did for that little girl. Another star in the sky......
____________________________________________
Susan

Anja SchH3 GSD
Conor GSD
Blue BH WH T1 GSD - waiting at the Bridge :angel:


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

RIP sweet girl may you now know happiness and freedom.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

Run free sweet girl and say hello to the furkids at the Bridge who are waiting for us...


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

When I first started this, it wasn't for sympathy for me; it was to sympathize with the plight of the dogs in rescue and how rescue can suck for all the people involved in it too, but I do want to thank everyone for their understanding and sympathy.


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## GSDolch (May 15, 2006)

:halogsd: :hug:


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