# Help choosing a Lab or Shepherd



## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

Hi everyone,

Our family lost our Black Lab after 13 years in May. My wife and I decided that we wanted to get another dog, and knowing my love for shepherds we decided to move forward with choosing our next puppy. I grew up with German Shepherds my entire life, and I owned one as an adult before meeting my wife. I would never choose anything else. She bought our lab a few weeks before we met and he was a great dog and ended up being great with our son after he was born as well. He definitely was not the surfer dude lab everyone would think of, however. He loved and bonded to my wife and was clearly her dog, similar to how a Shepherd would behave with an owner.

We've visited a few breeders (all WGSL) and everything has gone great. All of the dogs have been friendly and well tempered around my wife and son and I am at the point where I feel comfortable committing to a breeder. However, I still feel this trepidation with my wife. I finally got it out of her that she is somewhat scared of shepherds and worries about them around the rest of the family and if she could handle one. My son is still young(6 years old), so when I ask him what he wants he tells me he wants a lab and a Shepherd. I can't get both. It's upsetting, because I thought I took care of all of this and got it out of the way by visiting various breeders and allowing her to see many adult dogs. I'm hoping that once we got a puppy of our own she would love it and overcome any doubts, but I'd hate to put ourselves or a wonderful dog into a stressful situation. Has anyone dealt with something similar with their family? Should I just give up and start looking into a new lab pup to make her and my son happy?


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## Biscuit (Mar 24, 2020)

It's very hard to comment on what you SHOULD do. If you tell us more about what you and your family want in a dog you can get comments on what breed. For example; how much exercise and time you can give the dog, the level of training you expect, the traits you want in a dog etc.

My two cents. If after seeing some breeders dogs your wife does not feel 100% comfortable going with a shepherd, respect what she is telling you. She is giving you her honest and valid opinion. You really need to be on the same page on this; your getting a large active breed to be part of your family for hopefully over a decade. There seems to be a lot of threads here at the minute where a household is not on the same page regarding the dogs. 

Keep us posted on your dog search.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

deep down in her mind, your wife may want to try and recapture what she lost with her lab. If she admits that a GSD is a good choice, she looses that opportunity to reclaim something she loved. She may not even know this is going on in her (and I could also be 100 % wrong).

I suggest you guys spend some time with good adult GSDs if you can. She may decide, after a bit, that it is a good choice.


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## drparker151 (Apr 10, 2020)

Find the root cause of your wife’s fear. Is it from a bad personal experience or just a bad impression from TV and movies?

If your wife cannot get over her fear by being around and seeing good GSDs then the pup you get will sense that fear. it will be very hard for them to develop a trusting bond with that fear in the way.


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

And…the quality of the breeder might almost be more important than the breed. I have an English lab that literally anybody could succeed with and love.

I have a lab in my kennel right now who is legit a German shepherd in a lab costume as far as his drive to tug, bite, chase a ball, push thru any obstacle to achieve the goal. He has the correct temperament as far as he is friendly to all ppl and dogs, but he is a LOT of dog and his parents are so mis matched with him. I joked to my husband we should just trade dogs, they would be perfect with my lab.

The one in my kennel that is a lot of dog… he bites them at home (7 mo), steals their stuff and runs merrily around with it for ages and won’t give it back. He needs a ton of exercise and he needs a working outlet. His parents want him to walk at heel and nothing else and that’s never gonna cut it for this guy. He demand barks loudly and persistently any time ppl aren’t doing what he wants them to do.

I think he would be a dream in a working or competition home but as a pet with fairly inactive ppl he is almost a nightmare. Really great dog, nothing wrong with him, just a total mismatch to his people.

So, my advice…make sure your breeder knows how to evaluate puppies and place them in the right home AND will take them back if it turns out to be a bad match like I am describing. For either breed.


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

+1 cowboysgirl


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

I think that if you find an excellent breeder and are honest about your needs and fears, you can get a wonderful German Shepherd your son can grow up with....and he will never want anything else 😁

At 6, he is old enough to understand the landshark phase, and the importance of being calm around the dog.
Find a really good breeder, do NOT a get a backyard dog, find a really good trainer familiar with the breed, to work with your wife and son and set up your family for success.
The first 2 years with a Shepherd are difficult, in all honesty. I’m sure you already know that, since you have owned them before.

Take her to see puppies 😁
If you get a really well bred dog as a pup and raise him the right way, I can’t see her remaining fearful.

Best of luck to you, and please come back and let us know what you decided.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Thecowboysgirl said:


> And…the quality of the breeder might almost be more important than the breed. I have an English lab that literally anybody could succeed with and love.
> 
> I have a lab in my kennel right now who is legit a German shepherd in a lab costume as far as his drive to tug, bite, chase a ball, push thru any obstacle to achieve the goal. He has the correct temperament as far as he is friendly to all ppl and dogs, but he is a LOT of dog and his parents are so mis matched with him. I joked to my husband we should just trade dogs, they would be perfect with my lab.
> 
> ...


Great post.

You know the old saying "if you have to ask, you can't afford it"?

My first thought is if you have to ask between a GSD and a lab, the GSD is not for you .... for me they're almost a nothing-else-would-ever-do breed. But then I read about your past and the family dynamic and I feel for ya. You did all I can suggest and took her to see beautiful stable adult dogs. 

Has she seen puppies? If GSD puppies don't melt her heart and change her trepidation, don't do it.
*Don't get a working line dog, ask for low drive if you're not going to compete with/work the dog.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

i usually tell couples to stick with what the wife wants anyway, but since there is a fear component, i feel this way even more. she will always see things, even normal things, through that lens.

- the “land shark” phase… people post here often, referring to their very young puppies as aggressive - the biting causes bleeding, or that there is barking and growling associated with it.

- reactivity… it’s not a given, but it’s also not an uncommon problem in the breed. sometimes it’s triggered by a negative event, sometimes it comes seemingly out of no where. why was my previously well mannered puppy now lunging and barking at people and dogs when we’re on walks.

- protectiveness… natural aggression, appropriate aggression, suspicion, etc. not all gsd are extended family / lots of visitors type dogs. if your dog defensively barks at your brother in law who stopped by unexpectedly to drop off a package, is your wife going to be able to confidently take on a leadership role and manage/direct the dog appropriately?

is there a certain color or gender that will put her at ease? do you think having her participate in the training help? is she going to be turned off with any of the points i bring up? pop into the puppy behavior section or the aggression section. you know your wife… think about how those scenarios would play out in your house.

best of luck.


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## Lexie’s mom (Oct 27, 2019)

I think you should get a lab for the heck of savings your relationship because if something goes wrong and the pup will not be what your wife has expected it might turn into many years of resentment especially with a kid involved.


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

All really great posts and replies, I appreciate the input from everyone so far. When I initially posted this last evening I feared getting laughed off the forum. I fear I am not gaining any ground, but I don't think I'll give up quite yet. I can still see some breeders, and my wife hasn't seen any puppies yet. One breeder in particular that had some great dogs that we hit it off with had a stunning all black show line male that was just so friendly, my wife absolutely loved him. He came up to me and turned his hips into me as a sign to pet him and he was so large he knocked me over and started licking my face. My wife and son thought it was hysterical. I really wish she could have met my own GSD male....he was like an extension of me, it's so hard to explain something like that until you have it. My father in law isn't helping either; he's only had labs and keeps telling a story about a GSD from when he was in Vietnam that turned on it's handler and bit his face. So he keeps over generalizing and thinks that all shepherds have some kind of bad gene that is like a ticking time bomb (his words). I know that's in my wife's head. Whenever my father in law tells this story about Tou-che (dogs name), which is often, I know the conversation isn't going to go well. I feel this heavy weight on me that if something ever did go wrong, it would be all my fault for choosing the dog, and I do worry about that. I still find my wife cooing over lab photos on Facebook, so maybe she just isn't ready. I guess I'll give it more time. I'm happy my son is growing a healthy love for dogs, however so that's one silver lining. Thanks again for all the positive responses. I'll keep everyone posted.


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## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

What about a compromise: getting a lab now and a GSD a few years down the road? Or vise versa?
i don’t think your father in laws story about Touché is ridiculous.… but you are not getting a working military dog so the story doesn’t apply at all.


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## rotdocpa1 (Mar 19, 2018)

Honestly with young kids and a nervous wife I would rec an easy going English show line lab, not field obviously. Generally the safest choice for almost any family.


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

If the father in law is against shepherds too-- I just really would lean towards getting a lab. That's wife and her dad who both have bad experiences and/or bad expectations of a shepherd. That's a lot of prejudice straight out of the gate.

OR perhaps consider seeing if any of these breeders you like have an adult dog they want to retire from their breeding program that is really grown up, friendly and bomb proof.


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

GSD07 said:


> What about a compromise: getting a lab now and a GSD a few years down the road? Or vise versa?
> i don’t think your father in laws story about Touché is ridiculous.… but you are not getting a working military dog so the story doesn’t apply at all.


We've actually discussed the two dog situation. I shouldn't have been harsh about my father in laws story, but he definitely isn't helping me out. Thanks for your reply. As far as getting one dog before the other, would you recommend one to choose first or second?


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

As I posted my last reply I saw more pop up pro lab. A proven adult shepherd is also a great idea so thanks for that. I think it might be best if I just cool off a bit and give it more time. With the popularity of labs these days, I'm hoping it isn't even more difficult to sort out the good from the bad breeders.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

Soupie08 said:


> We've actually discussed the two dog situation. I shouldn't have been harsh about my father in laws story, but he definitely isn't helping me out. Thanks for your reply. As far as getting one dog before the other, would you recommend one to choose first or second?


lab first.
they’re typically more tolerant and welcoming of a new dog or puppy joining the household.


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

I have a lab and a shepherd. They get along well. Start with a lab. When it is an adult, and it acts the way you want it to, and it is spayed/neutered, then consider an opposite sex shepherd.

then your family has some currentdog experience. If you are really happy w just the lab maybe you don’t need the shepherd.

When I wanted to get a lab, I called a lady I know who is very involved in the local breed clubs for New England region. I asked her what breeder she would recommend for the type of dog I wanted (temperament). She made a very good recommendation and I am super happy with my dog. Every single house guest we’ve had (and this summer has been an offensive amt of house guess) wants to take him home.

he is an English lab (show type) and I second the recommendation to get an English vs a field type or American lab. Although some English labs are pretty pushy and obnoxious. Many are very mellow, great family dogs. They get fat really easily so you have to watch that.


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## CeraDean (Jul 9, 2019)

Great thread. Lots of good comments. 

I was in a similar position where I was choosing between Lab and Shepherd. We went Shepherd. 
The first two years with a Shepherd are hard. If your wife feels fear, I would be concerned about their relationship making it through these first years. For fear issues and selecting a known temperament, you might want to try and find an older dog. Maybe an older puppy that has a good foundation with a breeder but has not been selected for breeding.

Who will spend the majority of time with the dog? I was in a position where I would primarily raise my Shepherd being an at home mom. My husband spends mornings, evenings and weekends with him. If he felt fear towards a Shepherd, I don’t think it could have worked.
GSDs can have a reaction to an event that the handler knows is just silliness but scares the heck out of other people. If your wife would be scared of that, it’s a recipe for disaster.

That said, my Shepherd is my kids’ best friend. That loyalty is never in doubt. He’s laying with them right now while they watch a show. He’ll explore the woods with them and alert if there’s a stranger. He’ll do absolutely anything asked of him. He’s my husband’s best bud. They’ve found their own way to bond and it’s the sappiest thing ever. He’s practically a third hand for me. 
So, there are huge advantages to Shepherds.


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

This has been a very helpful and informative thread. I'm thankful for all of the input. I'm fortunate that I work from home (not pandemic related) so I would be the one to do the training and most likely develop the initial bond with either dog. English labs do seem very nice; my family doctor has two and they just hang out at the office all day and greet patients and follow people around from room to room. I could see the appeal of not having to worry about their behavior. On weekends I know they do a lot of hiking and biking with them. My close friend recently got one as a puppy and she's a nice dog as well. For me personally with my own background with Shepherds I would love to have one, and I'd love for my son to have one, but I think I need to circle back and have a long talk with my wife again. I know that she feels bad and wants me to be happy, but I want everyone to be successful in this situation, especially the living animal we make the decision to care for. If that fear factor is there, then perhaps it's best to wait and get a lab first and see where life goes. Even if my father in law isn't on board I'll need to work on him as well. If my shepherd wasn't welcome at my in laws or if they were scared of him or her I'd really dislike that situation. The young adult shepherd is also a good recommendation so I'll keep my eye open for one. Thanks again for the advice. Any other comments or input would be welcome. Hopefully at some point I'll get to post a picture of something for you guys to see....just not too many pics if it's a lab 😄


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

rotdocpa1 said:


> Honestly with young kids and a nervous wife I would rec an easy going English show line lab, not field obviously. Generally the safest choice for almost any family.


That's what I was going to write exactly. The GSD can wait and field Labs can be totally idiots if they don't get what they need, depending on the dog you were "given".


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

For what it's worth, I'll stick with my recommendation to get a lab if you need more of a family pet that keeps your wife happy and not needing a family protector/outdoor athlete.

But for the record, my Dad believed that all dogs should be kept outside (warm and doing a job in the barn) and that you should never leave a GSD alone or too close to a child (unpredictable, eventually will eat your children). He grew to love all my GSD and my Mom now thinks they are the best breed in the world. However, more than once she has told me how lucky we have been with the temperaments of our dogs lol


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## K9SHOUSE (Jun 8, 2003)

Most people already made great points and I agree with getting an adult laid back show line GSD if you decide to go GSD. Most GSD puppies are extremely mouthy (more than Labs), tend to stay in the phase longer, and as a breed tend to bite harder. Many Labs (primary English or breeders who title/work their dogs in hunting/fowl retrieval) have a natural or are bred for a softer bite/mouth. This is so they bring the duck back unharmed. My 17 month old GSD is still mouthy and if over-excited will jump and nip at my clothing waiting for me to throw his ball. Not popular with my 13 year old son when he acts this way. He is also a very confident male and will stand his ground if challenged. If your wife is already nervous about being around GSDs, this situation could be disastrous if she does not have confidence. 

So I would recommend a Lab for you at this time if you want to go puppy or really in general. Having had a Lab and trained with many, they are a much easier dog to handle. Labs can be protective, but their first instinct is that people and other dogs are there to play or are friendly. They are not aloof or distrustful to strangers. Having people and young kids coming in and out will not be a worry in general. Your sandwich is in more danger. Most people are also more open to approaching your Lab to say hello and God forbid the dog escaped, people are more likely to grab or catch a Lab.


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## K9SHOUSE (Jun 8, 2003)

Also wanted to add in reference to your father in law and his experience with working/military GSDs in Vietnam. My father was a young Army Veterinarian in Vietnam and then went on to work in his own private practice till about 3 years ago. The GSDs, Dobermans and other breeds used at that time are not the same dogs we see today in homes or as working dogs. Yes, some were nasty, not bred with the right temperaments, bite handlers and needed to be muzzled/tranquilized for care/exams. However, keep in mind many were traumatized or injured and returned to the field to work. I know my dad patched a lot of injured dogs up and I can only imagine what these dogs went through listening to other dogs crying and whining in pain during recovery in the kennels or smelly death of humans and other dogs.

If he didn't believe in the GSD as a breed, he wouldn't have considered them as one of his favorite dogs to treat and wouldn't have bought a high drive working line one for his college-aged daughter for Christmas to watch over her many moons ago.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

When in doubt, get a lab. They are the quintessential family dog.

Steer clear of field bred dogs. They are ballistic missiles until they are about 4 and then they slow down to Ferrari.

They are so easy to train and they are just friendly dogs.

Watch their weight. Bench bred dogs are generally chow hounds.


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

K9SHOUSE said:


> Also wanted to add in reference to your father in law and his experience with working/military GSDs in Vietnam. My father was a young Army Veterinarian in Vietnam and then went on to work in his own private practice till about 3 years ago. The GSDs, Dobermans and other breeds used at that time are not the same dogs we see today in homes or as working dogs. Yes, some were nasty, not bred with the right temperaments, bite handlers and needed to be muzzled/tranquilized for care/exams. However, keep in mind many were traumatized or injured and returned to the field to work. I know my dad patched a lot of injured dogs up and I can only imagine what these dogs went through listening to other dogs crying and whining in pain during recovery in the kennels or smelly death of humans and other dogs.
> 
> If he didn't believe in the GSD as a breed, he wouldn't have considered them as one of his favorite dogs to treat and wouldn't have bought a high drive working line one for his college-aged daughter for Christmas to watch over her many moons ago.


That's a really good informative post about the time and conditions back then. For better or worse, my father in law has an encyclopedic memory and is very set in his ways. I would like to share this story with him sometime though, hopefully just to soften him a bit. I'd hate to see his entire opinion shaped from just one encounter. Maybe even bringing them along to visit a breeder wouldn't be a bad decision...at least then they would get the opportunity to see some great dogs.


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

David Winners said:


> When in doubt, get a lab. They are the quintessential family dog.
> 
> Steer clear of field bred dogs. They are ballistic missiles until they are about 4 and then they slow down to Ferrari.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the input. Just doing some research today on breeders while I've been back and forth on the forum and the field bred dogs do have a look like they're about to be shot out of a cannon. I'm going to remain positive in this; I love dogs and either way I'm getting another dog, I enjoy researching so I'll have some learning to do as well. I'm not giving up on that second dog though... plenty of time to work on my wife and the rest of the family 😄


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

I would like to say that I would never get a young adult Shepherd, not with a six-year-old in the house. Shepherd will bond much better if you raise it from a puppy, train it the way you want it. With a young adult Shepherd, you have a dog that is already full of hormones, and that is their teenage Butthead phase when they don’t listen to the people who raised him from the time they were a puppy!

Having read more from you, I, too, would steer you toward a lab.


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## Torr (Jun 29, 2021)

Soupie08 If you are within driving distance of South Eastern Minnesota, let me know


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Just get a lab!


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## Torr (Jun 29, 2021)

tim_s_adams said:


> Just get a lab!


There, That's Settled! Sheesh!
KISS principle rules!
Just to help you out, here's my "Bear Cub" 

Warning! Not A Lab Pic!


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

Warning: all puppies are irresistible and innocent looking. People don't have time to take pictures when being attacked by tiny teeth from a land shark aka GSD pups


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Soupie08 said:


> Thanks for the input. Just doing some research today on breeders while I've been back and forth on the forum and the field bred dogs do have a look like they're about to be shot out of a cannon. I'm going to remain positive in this; I love dogs and either way I'm getting another dog, I enjoy researching so I'll have some learning to do as well. I'm not giving up on that second dog though... plenty of time to work on my wife and the rest of the family 😄


If you Google my name and Fama, you can read about my journey through school with my military dog. She bit me several times and lots of other people.

Fama ended up retiring with me and spent 5 years with my family, including babies, toddlers and crazy young kids. She was 100% safe with kids and a wonderful family dog.

Serving in the military is a completely different environment than being part of a family. Just like soldiers have a different mindset while deployed, dogs also live in the moment and react to things differently. I wouldn't judge the temperament of humans or dogs by sampling soldiers at war.


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

Your sandwich may be in real danger with a lab in the house 🤣🤣. They are foodies for sure. And I call them lab-a-gators because of the way they are prone to eat fingers when you feed them a cookie. I mean serious chomping.


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

Just one last plug to vet your breeder thoroughly. I own a boarding kennel and I handle dozens of people's pet labs per week. I have many who are definitely field bred, and many who are definitely english (what David called bench bred).

Then there is another whole category which I suspect are the product of less than ideal breeders and likely a mishmosh of the two lines. And these are usually the ones with temperament all over the map. Many of these "other" category labs have the off the chart drive and energy but unpredictable temperaments. I feel pretty sure they are just a mixup of lines by a backyard breeder with no real purpose. I board one who is dog aggressive. She's just not quite right in the head. Sometimes she tries to bite me when I towel her off. If she is "loading up" at a gate or something, she's totally unpredictable.

Another one has to board every time the kids in his family have a birthday party because he can't be trusted with a bunch of other people's kids on the property. He barks aggressively and charges people and dogs although he's not actually dog aggressive and he can be good in groups of dogs once he gets past his poor greeting skills. 

Go to a breeder that exhibits their dogs--- conformation shows, rally, obedience. My English lab's breeder does some hunt tests with her dogs too. You don't need a "show dog" for a pet, but you do need a breeder who is well respected by their local breed club and exhibits their dogs in lots of settings so they know what they really have. Breeders that have been established and exhibiting their dogs for a long time are more likely to produce a predictable temperament...."non quarrelsome with man nor beast"...


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## Jenny720 (Nov 21, 2014)

Finding a reputable breeder is important, as is agreeing on a breed.

After a long while finally agreed on a smaller more less active needing pup - King Charles when the kids were one and three. When she passed away I was addicted to the spaniel type dog. I also always liked doberman and never had one no one else wanted a Doberman. Kids still on the younger side but having more time for a larger active breed. We decided to go with the Gordon setter not to many breeders and no available pups, by then husband started talking about another Germans shepherd. Called some breeders and and after choosing Max’s breeder, while waiting for Max to be old enough to come home - my heart was still on those Gordon’s setters. It was my other half that wanted the gsd. I can tell you though, I changed my mind real quick. I kind of laugh at all of it now. Any German Shepherd you are going to need plan to put a lot of time into the pup the first two years-3 years keeping them mentally stimulated and physically stimulated. Max an asl was a land shark on steroids as a pup , a big boundary pusher, spade invader lol- but so so much fun not for the kids as a teething pup - as a lot of structure was put into place - that is not always fun for kids.

My wgsl female not so much mouthiness and she rarely pushed the boundaries easy pup. She slept the first night in her crate all through the night. I felt that made a nice combo these two dog personalities for myself.

Both shepherds are great with all family parties ,old and new friends coming into the house etc. sleep overs. It’s a plus when your dogs enjoys the chaos. Always taking the dogs out with us to beaches , people parks , hikes , public places for shopping , errand etc. all the while keeping us safe at night. It’s hard figuring out what you want and one can easily talk yourself out of what you do not want especially in a breed like the gsd , when your heart is stuck on another breed at the moment.

My friend has lab from a showline breeder that shows labradors for many many many years. They are big big dog show people. I have not met a lab I’d did not like from this breeder. The breeders daughter would walk into the Christmas barn party home with a few of her dogs and into a room with a massive amount of unknown people and the dogs would plop on the floor and just lie there off leash. As people stepped over them as it was right in the middle of the room.

My friend’s lab is a hostess at the barn to all who enter. She sits and watches very carefully as her owner rides and trains some unruly horses. She has a some focus and always impresses how she watches over her owner. She is in the middle of a jumping ring watching all of of it. Once her owner is off the horse the lab leaves all on her own to look for someone that may need company. My friend wanted a lab for a long long time and very happy she got the breed of her choice. The lab was exactly what she wanted and needed. The breeder was the same family friend whose many of her dogs have been visitors of the barn to meet and all have an incredible temperaments. I met most of the lab family over 15 years myself.

My friend and her husband also disagreed on what breed to get after their sheltie passed away. Their shelty had to be put away and or walked on a leash through the barn. The lab breeder would not allow her a pup until they both agreed on their breed of choice. I can say they are both happy now.


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## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

A lot of good comments here, but I thought I'd weigh in because I'm actually kind of living this situation right now with a GSD pup so I can share my experience to-date. Personally, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. What you want to do is make the right decision for the right reasons with the right set of expectations.

First, here's our situation: two young kids (almost 4 y/o and almost 2.5 y/o, both girls) and a wife who is anxious/scared around medium sized and bigger dogs. She didn't have a trauma of any kind, just not a dog person to begin and not a fan of dogs, particularly those with reputations. Anyway, the big difference in our situation is that we had a GSD before. It was my dog that was about 4 y/o when my wife and I met and so my wife got about 5 years of GSD life (and skipped the puppy phase), including 18 months with our older daughter when she was first born. I'd say our old GSD was the sweetest dog you'll ever meet, but as you can see from other comments, that's part of the breed when you have a well-bred, well-trained GSD. They're amazing and can be the platonic ideal of a family dog if you ask me. It also helped that our old dog was also "petite" as far as GSD females go so that helped from an intimidation standpoint that she just wasn't that big of a girl.

Fast forward, I'm pretty much Go GSD or Go Home so it wasn't up for debate when I was ready to get another dog. My wife is still anxious/scared around medium sized and bigger dogs, like I said, but she was supportive. In my mind, getting her to go through the puppy phase and have her (and the kids) bond with the puppy would be a big advantage as she got bigger. Well, apparently, I've completely blocked from my memory everything about the puppy phase from the last go-round. It's brutal. At least once each day I think about giving her back to the breeder (some days, that's all I think about). The teeth, the nipping, the chewing, the nonstop energy, etc. Having a GSD puppy is no joke and if you had them growing up or earlier in your life, you might very well be forgetting some of this or maybe you were shielded from some of it.

Bear in mind, I'm not trying to talk you out of it, but I'm the GSD fan in our household and even I get pushed passed the limit regularly. There's another post that does a nice job of talking about year one and the poster mentions in passing his thoughts maybe he should have gotten a golden retriever. I'd literally said that exact thing to my wife two days before I read that post (and another commenter on the post echoed that it exact thing).

So, how's it working out then with my wife, you might ask? Just fine. In part, because I'm on pup duty 100% of the time. The pup is on a leash in the house most of the time when not in the crate, which is as much because of the chewing and house training as needing to "handle" her around the rest of the family to make sure there's no nipping or biting or whatever around the more fragile household members. That said, as the nipping dies down (slowly, too slowly, but slowly) and the bite inhibition is taking root 🤞 and as we do more and more training (I'm spending an ungodly amount on training) and getting her to dog parks and doggie daycare to socialize and get corrected by other dogs appropriately, plus burning off puppy energy, we're making lots of progress. We've had her for about a month and half and she's about 4.5 months now. It helps to read other posts to remind myself of the light at the end of the tunnel as much for me as the rest of the family.

I don't know if any of this helps, but here's I guess the main takeaway that I want to leave you with. Based on your dynamic, if you get a GSD, you should go into it knowing that it's going to be on you - not your wife - to make it a successful experience for the family. She needs to be open-minded and involved and willing to go beyond her comfort zone, but you have to take as much responsibility to make it work for her and then also in general. And that's hard. It's hard. I wish I remembered how hard it was back when I was a just a single guy in my 20s, let alone now, so I could have been a little more prepared. Anyway, despite it all, I kind of love this puppy now and I still think it's 50/50 that one day I drive 90 minutes out to the breeder and just throw in the towel. What keeps me going is knowing that the bond I had with our last GSD defies any words that I can think to put in writing. And my wife loved her, too.

I'm sure you can get that with an English Lab. Maybe.

(edit) PS - I just re-read your original post and see that you lost your dog in May. I'm sorry to hear that. It took me 1.5 years before I was consider getting another dog and 2.5 years before we actually did. You might want to have a heart-to-heart with your wife about whether she's ready for another one, emotionally that is. Some of the hesitation could be that it's too soon for her and she's not ready to consider another type of dog because she's not ready to let go of your last one. I think another poster said something similar. Don't mean to psycho-analyze here, but worth surfacing that back up. Like I said, given how hard it will be already, wouldn't want to also add in unacknowledged emotional considerations on top of it.

(second edit) PPS - thinking more here... you said a few other things, in particular, you always had shepherds growing up, had one as an adult before meeting your wife and also that it was her dog and they bonded. I'm sure you loved that black lab, if you've said any of these things out loud to her, you might have set the stage for her to feel like getting a GSD would be "your dog". That might need to be acknowledged and talked through, plus emphasizing that you're not looking for "your dog" after 13 years of "her dog" but instead a "family dog" for all of you to bond with and love. Even if you're driving the decision on the breed and she's going along with it. Otherwise, there could definitely be thorny emotional consequences for you guys when the going gets tough. Again, not to be all psycho-analytical here, but I think people underestimate the emotional component of pet ownership. Anyhow, I'll shut up now!


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## Mango_the_shepherd (Dec 4, 2020)

If you spend most of the time with the dog you should get what you want, if your wife is doing all the work you should get what she wants in my opinion. Labs are usually super nice and cuddly but often not very bright especially in comparison to German Shepherds. Our German Shepherd doesn't like to cuddle unfortunately on the other hand he doesn't go to every freaking person that comes along for cuddles and attention, I love that. We live in the city and we have to go to dog parks to let him loose. In the dog park or on the way there we see a lot of other dogs and when the dogs don't get along the German Shepherd is a lot to handle and if the other dogs owner fails to react you may have to handle 2 dogs going at each other. I've got nipped at and bitten quite a bit by our own and other dogs when they got mad at each other. Your wife and 6 year old would not be able to handle those situations. But if you live in a house with a big yard and you can get him running and exercise there you don't have the issues I'm dealing with. I grew up with a German Shepherd and it's the only breed I ever want.


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## Plt726 (Sep 10, 2021)

Soupie08 said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Our family lost our Black Lab after 13 years in May. My wife and I decided that we wanted to get another dog, and knowing my love for shepherds we decided to move forward with choosing our next puppy. I grew up with German Shepherds my entire life, and I owned one as an adult before meeting my wife. I would never choose anything else. She bought our lab a few weeks before we met and he was a great dog and ended up being great with our son after he was born as well. He definitely was not the surfer dude lab everyone would think of, however. He loved and bonded to my wife and was clearly her dog, similar to how a Shepherd would behave with an owner.
> 
> We've visited a few breeders (all WGSL) and everything has gone great. All of the dogs have been friendly and well tempered around my wife and son and I am at the point where I feel comfortable committing to a breeder. However, I still feel this trepidation with my wife. I finally got it out of her that she is somewhat scared of shepherds and worries about them around the rest of the family and if she could handle one. My son is still young(6 years old), so when I ask him what he wants he tells me he wants a lab and a Shepherd. I can't get both. It's upsetting, because I thought I took care of all of this and got it out of the way by visiting various breeders and allowing her to see many adult dogs. I'm hoping that once we got a puppy of our own she would love it and overcome any doubts, but I'd hate to put ourselves or a wonderful dog into a stressful situation. Has anyone dealt with something similar with their family? Should I just give up and start looking into a new lab pup to make her and my son happy?


Go for the GSD... she'll come around. Had problem with a grandkid who was afraid of 8 week old puppy. Now she sits with him and laughs at his antics, and they're best of friends. You're starting out with a lot of love (from you), and your son is already half way there for a GSD.


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## Plt726 (Sep 10, 2021)

Bknmaizey said:


> A lot of good comments here, but I thought I'd weigh in because I'm actually kind of living this situation right now with a GSD pup so I can share my experience to-date. Personally, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. What you want to do is make the right decision for the right reasons with the right set of expectations.
> 
> First, here's our situation: two young kids (almost 4 y/o and almost 2.5 y/o, both girls) and a wife who is anxious/scared around medium sized and bigger dogs. She didn't have a trauma of any kind, just not a dog person to begin and not a fan of dogs, particularly those with reputations. Anyway, the big difference in our situation is that we had a GSD before. It was my dog that was about 4 y/o when my wife and I met and so my wife got about 5 years of GSD life (and skipped the puppy phase), including 18 months with our older daughter when she was first born. I'd say our old GSD was the sweetest dog you'll ever meet, but as you can see from other comments, that's part of the breed when you have a well-bred, well-trained GSD. They're amazing and can be the platonic ideal of a family dog if you ask me. It also helped that our old dog was also "petite" as far as GSD females go so that helped from an intimidation standpoint that she just wasn't that big of a girl.
> 
> ...


Excellent points!


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

Mango_the_shepherd said:


> If you spend most of the time with the dog you should get what you want, if your wife is doing all the work you should get what she wants in my opinion. Labs are usually super nice and cuddly but often not very bright especially in comparison to German Shepherds. Our German Shepherd doesn't like to cuddle unfortunately on the other hand he doesn't go to every freaking person that comes along for cuddles and attention, I love that. We live in the city and we have to go to dog parks to let him loose. In the dog park or on the way there we see a lot of other dogs and when the dogs don't get along the German Shepherd is a lot to handle and if the other dogs owner fails to react you may have to handle 2 dogs going at each other. I've got nipped at and bitten quite a bit by our own and other dogs when they got mad at each other. Your wife and 6 year old would not be able to handle those situations. But if you live in a house with a big yard and you can get him running and exercise there you don't have the issues I'm dealing with. I grew up with a German Shepherd and it's the only breed I ever want.


Labs are incredibly intelligent in general. The very best bomb dog I've ever seen was a lab. He was also the easiest bomb dog to train I've ever seen. He was also the only single purpose (not bite trained) dog in Special Operations at one point because he was such an amazing dog.

Most service dogs are labs.

Here's a pic of Marshall, the most amazing bomb dog I've known. I could run him with a radio on his harness, a laser, hand signals at 150m away, and with pulses on a vibration collar (as in 1 for go out, 2 for right, 3 for left, 4 for back and long press for recall).


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## Plt726 (Sep 10, 2021)

David Winners said:


> Labs are incredibly intelligent in general. The very best bomb dog I've ever seen was a lab. He was also the easiest bomb dog to train I've ever seen. He was also the only single purpose (not bite trained) dog in Special Operations at one point because he was such an amazing dog.
> 
> Most service dogs are labs.
> 
> ...


Agreed...I owned a chocolate lab, and lived him dearly. We both got hit by a car, and he took the brunt of the impact. Unfortunately, he wasn't the same afterwards and needed a different environment than I could provide. Yes, they're smart, loyal, great family dogs.


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## ausdland (Oct 21, 2015)

Field Lab may be my next trailing dog. Much less to manage around other off leash dogs in Tahoe, less health issues than GSDs and my girl loves 'em.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Wonder what OP chose.


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

Sunflowers said:


> Wonder what OP chose.


I've had several discussions with my wife on what we should do. She did open up that she is still totally devastated with the loss of our last dog and still cries over him often and that she's been back and forth on whether or not she's even ready for a dog regardless of breed. He died unexpectedly and she blames herself and wonders if she could have done more. However, she realizes at night when it's all quiet or if we go to sleep before her and she's alone she totally misses a buddy being around. She also admitted that she was concerned that if she didn't choose a Shepherd I would hold a grudge and constantly be mad. I explained she shouldn't worry about that and my focus was on the best choice for the family and I'd love any dog regardless, plus I feel like I'll eventually someday get a Shepherd so no huge deal.

I also asked her again if she would be scared of a Shepherd or would be worried about handling one, and she kind of changed her stance on that and said she'd never be scared of her own dog. Plus our lab was 80lbs and very difficult to handle, he wasn't an aggressive dog but was just excited about life and was always in a hurry to go nowhere.

The breeder that we have been in contact with is actually looking to let go of some of her adult dogs to the right homes, so that is something we are considering as well. We are actually going to visit again on Friday (in laws included) to talk and take two of her adults for a walk. The one is a younger male and gorgeous, but he's rather pricey. Another stipulation to getting that male is that since we are local, the breeder wouldn't want us to neuter him so that she can use him to stud. The other is a female that the breeder thinks would be a good fit for us. I don't know if any stipulations would come along with her. I know some people here thought this might be a good idea for us while some others didn't. It's just something we're exploring.

I even shared some of the information that @David Winners and @K9SHOUSE told me about the mentality of dogs during stressful combat situations with my wife to relay to her father and he was thankful for it.

Man, this has been some deep marriage counseling stuff on here....good thing we're mostly anonymous 🙂. Anyway, right now it looks like my wife is perfectly ok with getting a Shepherd and seems to think that my in laws will warm to it as well.

I know most comments seemed to indicate that getting a lab first, then a Shepherd was ideal, but I'm hoping that if we do go Shepherd first and still decided on another dog eventually he/she would be ok.

Nothing is concrete in plans yet, but I'm glad we've discussed it more and this thread turned out to be a lot more positive and informative than I expected. I'll let everyone know what's decided when we finally do make a decision/ do come to an agreement. I haven't even began to look into lab breeders in my area, so it might be a little while off.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Soupie08 said:


> The breeder that we have been in contact with is actually looking to let go of some of her adult dogs to the right homes, so that is something we are considering as well. We are actually going to visit again on Friday (in laws included) to talk and take two of her adults for a walk. The one is a younger male and gorgeous, but he's rather pricey. Another stipulation to getting that male is that since we are local, the breeder wouldn't want us to neuter him so that she can use him to stud. The other is a female that the breeder thinks would be a good fit for us. I don't know if any stipulations would come along with her. I know some people here thought this might be a good idea for us while some others didn't. It's just something we're exploring.


I think this may be a fabulous idea! All dogs deserve great homes and with an adult you see what you get immediately.


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## CEMC (May 2, 2020)

Typically the Lab and the GSD are very different dogs with different purposes and probably suited for different people. However it appears that the decision is based on fear by the wife of GSD's. In my opinion unless the person is extremely impacted or traumatized by some past experience fear of any breed including the GSD is quickly overcome when the person meets the dog as a puppy. 
I got my first Doberman as soon as I graduated from college and my parents were horrified when they found out. They even told me to not bring the dog with me wen I visited. Then they saw some pictures I sent them of the puppy (he was 8 weeks at the time) and their attitude changed immediately. This would not have been the case if I had gotten a full grown dog even if he was the sweetest dog in the world (which by the way he really was).


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

Just wanted to remind the OP that Marley the lab was a real dog. Okay, the owners had no clue how to train him, but still, he was very far from being a laid back dog!

If you do go with a lab, make sure the breeder is knowledgeable enough to pick the pup with the right temperament for you.


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## Rolling Ragu (Oct 12, 2021)

_Well, apparently, I've completely blocked from my memory everything about the puppy phase from the last go-round. It's brutal. At least once each day I think about giving her back to the breeder (some days, that's all I think about). The teeth, the nipping, the chewing, the nonstop energy, etc. Having a GSD puppy is no joke and if you had them growing up or earlier in your life, you might very well be forgetting some of this or maybe you were shielded from some of it._

When I read this comment from earlier, it sounded like something I had typed myself. Our last GSD was a low demand sort of dog that passed 4 years ago. Right now,"Journey" is 13 weeks. No one in the family remembers things being like they are right now. At about 10 weeks, we regularly had family melt downs over the Journey being a bad decision. A night or two, I would retire to our bedroom to be alone and escape the stress. I think being 52 instead of 35 is making a difference for me. 

Today, we are seeing things change for the better. But...as this other poster stated, it is BRUTAL sometimes. If you don't have the fortitude to keep moving forward, it can be too much. Go in prepared.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

That's why they make them look cute


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

I'm really going to think about that ..... when I get my last GSD and I'm around 80 years old


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

Nora is 13 months old now, and I pretty much want to murder her on a daily basis. She’s gorgeous, and sweet, but holy moly she’s a lot of dog. 

I haven’t had a puppy in 5 years (Scarlet), and I’m pretty sure that Nora is the last puppy I’ll have, lol. I’ll be 66 next month. If at some point we decide to breed Nora, I’m not taking a puppy (remind me of this if there is a black puppy). I would take an adult dog at least 3 years old though.


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## David Winners (Apr 30, 2012)

dogfaeries said:


> Nora is 13 months old now, and I pretty much want to murder her on a daily basis. She’s gorgeous, and sweet, but holy moly she’s a lot of dog.
> 
> I haven’t had a puppy in 5 years (Scarlet), and I’m pretty sure that Nora is the last puppy I’ll have, lol. I’ll be 66 next month. If at some point we decide to breed Nora, I’m not taking a puppy (remind me of this if there is a black puppy). I would take an adult dog at least 3 years old though.


The nerd refused a recall this morning to go play with the neighbor dog who was barking at him. 17 months. Good times 

ETA: he jumped a 4' fence, in the neighbors yard, into their dog run, to play with the dog. Then jumped out, raced over to me all proud and went inside.


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

Puppies are wonderful and terrible. My son’s girlfriend frequently says “Nora is… A LOT”. Even Russell avoids her, lol. She does everything with such abandon. How that moose of a girl can move so fast and be so agile is a mystery.

Back to the OP, I went with my GSD breeder looking for a lab for her daughter-in-law who had always wanted one. We talked with show breeders, and visited a few. She ended up with a lovely lab. Not my breed of choice by any means, but they were happy with her. They had lots of kids, and she fit right in. The rest of the kids in my breeder’s family all have GSDs (and kids). Now they’ve added a border collie into the mix!


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## dogfaeries (Feb 22, 2010)

David Winners said:


> ETA: he jumped a 4' fence, in the neighbors yard, into their dog run, to play with the dog. Then jumped out, raced over to me all proud and went inside.


Dogs are just very bouncy toddlers, haha


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## Soupie08 (Aug 13, 2021)

I figured I would give it some time before posting again. A GSD breeder that I had several conversations with as well as several visits had mentioned that she was willing to part with some of her adults to the right homes. She said she had one or two in particular that she thought would really suit our family. After another visit and some discussion with my wife we decided to go for it. We now have a 5 yr old male named Ando.
He was 100% an outside dog and for breeding so the house breaking took some work, but aside from that I'm happy to report that things have gone excellent! The interesting part is that his bonding transferred completely to my wife. Despite the fact that I initially did all of the walking and feeding, he just seemed to gravitate towards her. Now, the two of them are pretty incredible; he follows her around the house, lays at her feet and cries when she gets home from work. She can say his name or make a small whistle and he just appears. His recall with her is great. You would think we've spent thousands training the two of them together, she just became his owner somehow. I'm a tad jealous, but very happy with the outcome and pleased when Ando graces me with his presence. It's as if they were meant for one another.
As far as the rest of my family; he has won them all over, including my father in law. He is great around all of the kids and enjoys attention from everyone. Similar to me, they just wish they could get more attention from him. He is perhaps a bit "soft" and eager to please if that makes sense, but it works for us. We take him everywhere with us and he's such a breeze in public and just a joy to be around. I woke up last Saturday morning and my wife was reading on her computer and Ando was laying at her feet while my son was right next to him playing with his toys. She said "I guess he's my shepherd, thanks for getting me a dog.". I'd be curious to see why some of you feel that his bond transferred to my wife so strongly.
Here are some pictures of him. He really is a handsome guy.


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## peachygeorgia (Oct 5, 2021)

Soupie08 said:


> I figured I would give it some time before posting again. A GSD breeder that I had several conversations with as well as several visits had mentioned that she was willing to part with some of her adults to the right homes. She said she had one or two in particular that she thought would really suit our family. After another visit and some discussion with my wife we decided to go for it. We now have a 5 yr old male named Ando.
> He was 100% an outside dog and for breeding so the house breaking took some work, but aside from that I'm happy to report that things have gone excellent! The interesting part is that his bonding transferred completely to my wife. Despite the fact that I initially did all of the walking and feeding, he just seemed to gravitate towards her. Now, the two of them are pretty incredible; he follows her around the house, lays at her feet and cries when she gets home from work. She can say his name or make a small whistle and he just appears. His recall with her is great. You would think we've spent thousands training the two of them together, she just became his owner somehow. I'm a tad jealous, but very happy with the outcome and pleased when Ando graces me with his presence. It's as if they were meant for one another.
> As far as the rest of my family; he has won them all over, including my father in law. He is great around all of the kids and enjoys attention from everyone. Similar to me, they just wish they could get more attention from him. He is perhaps a bit "soft" and eager to please if that makes sense, but it works for us. We take him everywhere with us and he's such a breeze in public and just a joy to be around. I woke up last Saturday morning and my wife was reading on her computer and Ando was laying at her feet while my son was right next to him playing with his toys. She said "I guess he's my shepherd, thanks for getting me a dog.". I'd be curious to see why some of you feel that his bond transferred to my wife so strongly.
> Here are some pictures of him. He really is a handsome guy.
> ...


He is beautiful! holy cow! super happy for you, it sounds like everything worked out  as for the bonding, I swear dogs always gravitate towards hesitant people 🙄 my 11 year old niece doesn't like big dogs, or dogs in general, but when we go to my sisters Charlie wants to interact with her so bad, giving kisses, bringing her his toys, sitting and staring at her constantly (almost as tall as her AND he weighs more bahahah) paying attention to no one else, finally, after a few months, she'll kiss him back and throw his toys for him (also hug him when she thinks no one is watching), I can see a very strong bond beginning to form and I cant say im not a bit jealous, but still very proud lol


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

They always pick a person! Doesn't mean you aren't accepted or cool, just means you're not THE one.

They are what they are! Enjoy that beautiful boy!


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## drparker151 (Apr 10, 2020)

Congrats on the new addition to the pack. Stunning dog. Maybe he's just a momma's boy


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## Galathiel (Nov 30, 2012)

Sometimes (not always), males prefer females and females prefer males. My current male dog loves the ladies and is quite the ladies' man _eye roll_. My males have always been 'my' dog as opposed to my husband's or son's.


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## Bellabell (Nov 13, 2021)

Soupie08 said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Our family lost our Black Lab after 13 years in May. My wife and I decided that we wanted to get another dog, and knowing my love for shepherds we decided to move forward with choosing our next puppy. I grew up with German Shepherds my entire life, and I owned one as an adult before meeting my wife. I would never choose anything else. She bought our lab a few weeks before we met and he was a great dog and ended up being great with our son after he was born as well. He definitely was not the surfer dude lab everyone would think of, however. He loved and bonded to my wife and was clearly her dog, similar to how a Shepherd would behave with an owner.
> 
> We've visited a few breeders (all WGSL) and everything has gone great. All of the dogs have been friendly and well tempered around my wife and son and I am at the point where I feel comfortable committing to a breeder. However, I still feel this trepidation with my wife. I finally got it out of her that she is somewhat scared of shepherds and worries about them around the rest of the family and if she could handle one. My son is still young(6 years old), so when I ask him what he wants he tells me he wants a lab and a Shepherd. I can't get both. It's upsetting, because I thought I took care of all of this and got it out of the way by visiting various breeders and allowing her to see many adult dogs. I'm hoping that once we got a puppy of our own she would love it and overcome any doubts, but I'd hate to put ourselves or a wonderful dog into a stressful situation. Has anyone dealt with something similar with their family? Should I just give up and start looking into a new lab pup to make her and my son happy?


Lab!


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