# vent about owner give ups



## pupresq (Dec 2, 2005)

So, I don't suppose there's any answer here, but I just needed to vent. Last week I got the following email. It's typical of many emails that I receive. The names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.



> Quote:Hi! my name is Rhonda. My husband and I have a Rottweiler/Beagle she is 3 1/2 years old and her name is Dixie. We are in need to find her a good home. We have a 19 month old daughter and we are afraid she might attack her. She has not done this but alot of people has told me that Rottweilers are very protected. I do know Dixie is protected of our backyard she will not let anyone come in it thru the gate but if she is on her leash in the front yard she is friendly. I thought I would be able to take care of the dogs and my baby but I was wrong. I have been neglect her. And that is not right for her. She is up to date on shots and she is not fixed but if we can find a good home for her we will pay for her to be fixed. Dixie is housebroken.
> 
> Please let us know if you can help or know someone who can help us. We do not want to take her to the Shelter


I responded with the following:



> Quote: Hi Rhonda,
> 
> I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I am a mom myself, but I am also a Rottweiler lover. We had a purebred Rottie for 13 years and he grew up with our son. We have 2 German Shepherds now, also dogs who sometimes have a bad reputation, and they positively adore kids. So, I guess my first question is if you'll reconsider getting rid of your dog. I know Rotties have a bad reputation but it is largely based on misinformation and the bad acts of dogs left chained outside. A chained dog (of any breed) IS dangerous to children, and I would definitely not want that. However, Beagles are known for being great family dogs and, honestly, Rotties really are too even though most people don't know it.
> 
> ...



No response.







It's just so frustrating. I'm offering her free obedience training in her home for goodness sakes and she couldn't be less interested. She just wants someone to take her dog and who is going to help her feel good about it. I'm feeling very frustrated with people who simply don't want their dogs anymore but want to wrap it up in a bunch of excuses and self-justifications. This poor dog has done absolutely nothing wrong but she's still going to lose her home and probably her life.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

Yes, the usual crap.

How kind of them to want "the best for the dog".


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

in my experiences, i've stopped "arguing" "convincing" "educating" "pleading" with people... in most cases the mindset that goes along with giving a dog up, will often return. i believe that deep down inside people know that there are other options, but they either don't want to put in the time, effort, or money... so they take the easy way out but tack on phrases like "this is very hard for us" "we've tried everything" "we're afraid that..." "we want the best for the dog" etc.

we have to choose our battles. battle for the dogs that are in the system and going to be put down... battle to save dogs in poor conditions/situations... battle to educate people BEFORE they get a dog.

its taken a long time for me to come to this conclusion, but unless someone is truly asking for advice and help - i've stopped offering, because i feel like it only buys the dog time (be it a week or a year) but SOMETHING will end up coming up. like i said... the mindset is already there









i've written countless responses similar to yours above and with no reply (even with people that i know) only to find out the dog was given away or taken to the shelter or is just sitting in a backyard. i begin to feel like i failed the dog. we either piss them off, get ignored, or make people feel guilty - either way they dont want to hear it.


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## Crabtree (Jan 6, 2006)

First off I want to say what a kind and generous offer you made Hannah. To offer free help in the name of Dixie just shows the great lengths some people will go to help.

This woman is very ignorant and sounds very immature. Maybe in the long run it is best that Dixie not live there. She would probably wind up being tied up in the backyard to be forgotten and go insane so that the owner can have an AH HA! moment to prove how dangerous the dog is.
Too bad she can't be 'fixed' along with Dixie!


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## dd (Jun 10, 2003)

I think it's always worth a try. I remember being contacted a couple of years ago by a woman who wanted to rehome her dog due to behaviour issues. The inquiry was forwarded to myself and to a rescue buddy. Both of us had the same reaction - how have you worked with the dog? Have you talked with a trainer? What things have you tried with him?

The woman got back to us and thanked us profusely - our comments helped her to keep her dog, because her husband was convinced that he was too old to have his behaviour modified. She brought a trainer on board and as far as I know, his issues were resolved.

Even if only one out of ten owners changes his behaviour, it is worth it for the dog who doesn't end up in a crowded shelter..


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

On the other hand -- there is a thread here about a woman who waited too long -- her newer dog's dog-agression caused serious injury to her Pom = the newer dog being put down. HS wouldn't take him back except to euthanize him because of the newly established bit history.

Soooo - just maybe these people are right - the dog DOES need to go. Sooner may be better than later.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: ddI think it's always worth a try.
> 
> Even if only one out of ten owners changes his behaviour, it is worth it for the dog who doesn't end up in a crowded shelter..


you make a very good point, and i almost included this point of view in my other reply... however i think that it depends alot on the reason the person is stating... as well as the over all tone of an e mail. behavioral issues can usually be worked on (as long as the time, patience, effort, etc is there) but for those who get rid of dogs because they no longer have time, are expecting or just had kids, are moving, etc - i have little to no sympathy for.

and sadly, if it were 1 in 10... that would give me hope... but i dont _think_ the favor is that great.

eta: in response to middleofnowhere -- in some situations (esp with certain types of aggression) the current home may very well not be the best home for that dog and sooner would be better than later... but it can be tough to make that call... which goes back to my original stance of just taking the owners word for it and getting the dog into a more appropriate home.

in the long run i can only thank those types of people - because they are the reasons that i have 2 fantastic dogs laying at my feet right now. Gia's owner lacked experience and puppy patience... Tilden's family was going thru a messy divorce.


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## Timber1 (May 19, 2007)

When you offer to help someone and they refuse, it can be more then frustrating. Our rescue has offered to help people, some whose dog needs just a tad more training and they never reply, or just return the dog.

This part I suspect you will disagree with. Several years ago my wife brought home a pit bull, courtesy of a friend that was moving and gave her the dog.

There was nothing wrong with the Pit Bull. However, my daughter, less then 3 years old used to jump on the dog from the couch. The dog was a mature animal and my thought was if he ever responded she could be badly injured or killed. So I made the wife return the dog.

Right or wrong, I was not willing to take the chance that the dog, for whatever reason, might react in a violent manner.


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## dd (Jun 10, 2003)

I was not discussing aggression issues. The dog in the case I was speaking about was chasing livestock and was not properly contained. Aggression issues do not form part of this discussion because no rescues will take a human-aggressive dog and few rescues are set up to take a dog-aggressive dog.

99% of the emails I receive that deal with rehoming a dog are for stupid reasons: we are moving next week and the dog can't come, we are having a baby, we've decided we'd rather keep our puppy than our older dog. I have actually met a woman who put to sleep her senior dog because he was jealous of the 8 week puppy she brought home. That's the kind of thing we're talking about.


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## pupresq (Dec 2, 2005)

> Quote: Soooo - just maybe these people are right - the dog DOES need to go. Sooner may be better than later.


Except that this dog has done nothing wrong. Even if we take her at her word for her reasons (and it's not that she just doesn't want to be bothered), she wants to get rid of this dog because it's black and tan and she has a child. 

Thanks to everyone for their responses. Camerafodder - I basically agree with you, I wrote her back knowing in my heart what her response would be. Maybe to some extent I was even proving a point to myself (and maybe to her though I doubt it), that it's never for the reasons they say. But I also felt like if there was any chance at all, I could at least take 10 minutes of my time to write her back and offer her an alternative. As dd said, it occasionally happens. I had another situation with a couple and their Great Dane last fall and I worked with them on obedience for weeks before their baby was born so that the wife would hopefully be willing to keep her. As far as I know they did. It does definitely help to have at least one person in the family who wants to keep the dog - I think that may have been the common thread in that case and the one dd mentioned. 

I just hate it for this dog. She's done nothing wrong and for this she's going to end up dying at our local shelter or given to some random person who will do who knows what to her. I guess I could write her back and offer to help screen people. Not that I think she'll get many takers. Dogs like that are a dime a dozen around here.







If she doesn't keep her, I can almost guarantee the alternative is death. And yet she's going to talk about how she only wants what's "best for the dog." 

Ugh. Makes me crazy.


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## pupresq (Dec 2, 2005)

> Quote:Right or wrong, I was not willing to take the chance that the dog, for whatever reason, might react in a violent manner.


I wouldn't dispute that argument, but the argument holds true for any large dog and a child. So if we are not willing to accept any chance of a dog biting a child, then we should not have both dogs and children. All other things being equal (ie, both dogs kept inside as family pets, not chained etc) a Pit Bull is no more dangerous to a child than a GSD, and in many cases less so as they have a higher pain threshold and are less reactive. 

And in this case, it's a dog who has presumably lived with the child for the 19 months of the child's life without issue, so it's also quite different than suddenly bringing home an unknown adult dog (of any breed).


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: pupresqI had another situation with a couple and their Great Dane last fall and I worked with them on obedience for weeks before their baby was born so that the wife would hopefully be willing to keep her. As far as I know they did.


the excellent thing about this is that, even if they decided not to keep the dog - by him having stronger obedience, it will help his adoptability and on someone elses time/dime.

i've had friends rehome dogs and i tell them that if i'm going to be involved, the very least they can do is have the dog altered and work on any training issues in the meantime while i look for a home. unfortunately the dogs always end up at my house _in the meantime_


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

I know you're frustrated. I know none of us like this sort of a situation. But more than likely, the person is done with the dog and no good will come of the dog staying. If it doesn't have problems now, it may develop them if it is left there. I think that people have made up their mind what they want to do before they contact you. While the depth of their thought process may be a far cry from what we would like, they have reached their decission. 

Yeah people drive me nuts and I'm not in the rescue business.


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## pupresq (Dec 2, 2005)

> Quote:But more than likely, the person is done with the dog and no good will come of the dog staying.


Oh, don't get me wrong - I totally agree. It's just that there is no magical home in the country with plenty of room to run for this dog. She, and the thousands of dogs just like her, are all going to die. And these people want to sugar coat that with a bunch of crap to make themselves look better.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

...but i will say, a rottie/beagle sounds pretty adorable







and before the current housing crisis - this baby probably would have had a good chance of adoption out here.


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## pupresq (Dec 2, 2005)

There maybe. Not here. Beagle mix is like Shepherd mix around here - kiss of death. Rottie mix is of course even worse. And it's a real shame because I agree - she sounds cute! And like the kind of dog who would fit easily into most homes.


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## scannergirl (Feb 17, 2008)

This is an overwhelmed person wanting to get rid of some "stress".
Take the dog for a walk with the baby in a stroller! Use training time to unwind. If you aren't smiling when throwing a tennis ball for an eager dog then there's a problem.
It can seem like these things require too much effort sometimes, rather than see them as solutions to the problem of being overwhelmed. You can reconnect with the dog, and remember why you fell in love with him. Not to different than human kids, I don't think. 
If she chooses the route of getting rid of the dog it won't solve the basic problem- she needs better coping skills and stress relief. So then what? 
If the dog was ever aggressive with the child I'd think differently. I think having someone tell you that Rotties are aggressive and not trustworthy isn't quite the same thing.


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## dd (Jun 10, 2003)

There is a lady in our neighbourhood who walks two large shep mixes on either side of her stroller. It's wonderful and adorable.


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## Minnieski (Jan 27, 2009)

I HATE the "I'm moving and can't take my dog" excuse, along with all the others. Would you move and leave your kid behind? No. Would you get rid of one kid because you had another? No. People are lazy and irresponsible, and it's the poor animals that suffer for it.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

whenever i see ads on craigslist stating that they're moving out of state... i kindly write them and inquire which state it is that they're moving to that doesnt allow dogs, so that i can make sure never to move there. i'll spare you some of the replies i get, lol









the excuse that drive me nuts the most is "got too big" / "too big for apartment" / "needs more space" - even in the case of a mix breed, you still have an IDEA of the size of the dog... but to hear these excuses coming into GSD, rottie, mastiff, and great dane rescues... i have to wonder if these individuals have ANY sense let alone common.

i'm sure we've all seen "to a good home only" (a good home like the one the dog is currently being rehomed from?) or "$100 to a good home"... i'm dying to ask one day "how much if i'm just a decent or poor home?"


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## terry_demag (Jun 8, 2004)

OK - I just got one that got me worked up.

Someone wants to re-home their 10 YEAR old dog because it would be better for the dog to go to a new home rather than go through the change of a cross country move.

Save me from people trying to justify getting rid of their dog!


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## weber1b (Nov 30, 2008)

That one is just wrong. We moved our first dog when she was 12. She was our dog and she was going nowhere but with us. The dog doesn't care where they are with you, just that they are with you.


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## terry_demag (Jun 8, 2004)

This was my response - I tried to keep it polite.

Hi (Owner),

I really hope that you can find a way to keep (dog name) and make it work.

Leaving her family will be more traumatic than moving to a new home with you. This is the time of her life that she needs her family the most. 

Prospects are not good for finding a new home for a 10 year old dog. Most people want to adopt younger dogs and thousands of senior dogs are dying in shelters since no one wants to adopt them.

I really hope you will reconsider rehoming her. 

Terry


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## oregongsdr111 (Nov 20, 2005)

Here is one I got two days ago. 
We just shake our heads sometimes. I am not sure who this owner thinks would be lining up to take on this poor dog. Names were changed.

<span style="color: #6600CC">We rescued a white shepherd at **** Humane society, Doogie, in April of 2002. He was a "second chance" dog and my wife adopted him for protection and companionship while living alone. He showed aggression toward her cat at the time and so she started a regiment of training on her own. I soon moved in and the training continued ( basic obiedience classes, ******Police Dog School, a pet psychologist, citronella sprays, holistic approaches like tinctures, halti collars, choke chains, then pinch collars, Prozac, and Xanax). Doogie had to become a yard/house dog, not going many places with us at all. He has attacked three dogs since (sending each one to the hospital) bitten me on three occasions, and bitten my wife four times. All of the situations were the result of him just seeing another dog. Seven years after adopting him we find ourselves having to choose life or death for Dookie. He can not be a part of our family any longer. It is not safe.


Now, we have since married and have a 9 mo. old that will soon be toddling and Doogies aggression has increased toward two new neighbor dogs. He is chewing through the fence to get at them and when we go to get him in the house he bites at us. He now has to go outside in the yard on a leash and muzzled. We are at the end of our rope and looking for last resorts before we euthanize our lovely Doogoe. He is a good boy!! REALLY! He just needs a home with no pets around and an adult, loving family. PLEASE help us keep Doogie living the life he deserves somewhere safe. I can't let him injure my son. I will never forgive myself!!


Let us know if there is anything you can do to help us or send us in the right direction.</span>


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## weber1b (Nov 30, 2008)

The description does not sound like one who is a "good boy". While I believe there can be truly aggressive dogs, it makes you wonder about all this training the dog received. About all else I can say, is either they are very patient, or had lousy follow through.


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