# Without Sage. A year later.



## dogfaeries

It was a year ago, yesterday, that I lost my Sage. I don't know where that year went. I just seems impossible that she's gone, and for so long. I miss her every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. You'd think it would get easier, but it hasn't gotten easier at all. I have two wonderful GSDs here at home, and I love them, but it's not the same. They aren't Sage. 

It seems so unfair that I lost her to such a painful, random infection, and at barely 5 years old. How do you get past this? How do you stop saying every day "I want her back. I want my dog back"? I guess that tells you how special she was.


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## Ripley2016

I've lost two dogs I loved with all my heart and soul. My yellow lab, to cancer, at 9 1/2 years. My Siberian Husky at 4 years because she was intolerant of babies when I had my daughter. Not a decision I took lightly. I think of both of my dogs often, certain songs I listened to as I lost them stick with me. I see my lab in my dreams from time to time. It's been almost three years since I gave away my husky and I got my GSD to help patch the hole in my heart. I am so sorry. Dogs leave an imprint on our hearts forever... The love we have for them is one of the most amazing parts of having one, but it makes them hard to lose.


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## dogma13

I don't think you ever get over it.You just find some way to deal with it and carry on.I feel a little panicky whenever I think about losing my current dogs.Don't want to go through it again.I sincerely hope it does get easier for you as time goes on.RIP beautiful Sage.


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## ksotto333

Such a beautiful girl. I'm so sorry. I know it's trite but only time lessens the pain.


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## wolfy dog

OMG, that is so tough. I know how you feel and it aches to even think about it. I lost my heart dog about 4 years ago and I miss him every day. If I could pluck one from Heaven I would pick him. All others I have mourned but got over it at some point and they have left me sweet memories. But my one in a life time one, not at all. Sometimes I say his name out loud and it's like he is still here.
I think it will always be like this for me. You will learn to live with this loss but never really get over it. Sage was beautiful, what a sweet feminine face. Sending warm thoughts your way.


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## Chip18

I am so sorry your still suffering, no one can judge your pain ... and I fully understand that depending on circumstances ... that pain can linger for a very, very long time!

Unfortunately Dogs aren't aren't Turtles or Parrots and they are unable to follow us all the way on life's journey. They drop by the way side and some unfortunately much sooner than they should. 

You just have to accept that sometimes life is unfair and go on, but the dogs' we've lost on life's journey and many of them way., way to soon will "always" be in our hearts.


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## maxtmill

I am sorry you are still grieving so hard, but everyone and every dog is different. I lost my special heart dog suddenly and without warning at age 5. I was devastated, and I still miss him.


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## Jenny720

There will only be one Sage that is how special she is. They are all different as they should be. As much as you feel you will not have another heart dog -you will. It takes time for the heart to heal and open back up. Sage will help find what you are looking for - believe you me.


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## Galathiel

She was a beautiful, special girl. It's such a shock to lose a young dog; there's no time to prepare yourself at all. 

I completely understand. I lost my old man dog in November and I still get teary eyed thinking about him. I had time to prepare as he was almost 16, but it's. not. easy. It shouldn't be for our heart dogs.


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## charger

wolfy dog said:


> OMG, that is so tough. I know how you feel and it aches to even think about it. I lost my heart dog about 4 years ago and I miss him every day. *If I could pluck one from Heaven I would pick him. *All others I have mourned but got over it at some point and they have left me sweet memories. But my one in a life time one, not at all. Sometimes I say his name out loud and it's like he is still here.
> I think it will always be like this for me. You will learn to live with this loss but never really get over it. Sage was beautiful, what a sweet feminine face. Sending warm thoughts your way.


I know how you feel ,that's the same way I feel about my Charger.


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## MoxyPup

It's so hard to move past this because she should still be here! 11-13 years is way too short of time for them to be in our lives, but gone at 5 is brutal. I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry for your heartache. GSDs are like velcro to our sides, their memories are the same to our hearts.


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## astrovan2487

Your dog Sage is beautiful, that is horrible to lose such a special dog at 5 years old. I do know how you feel missing her every minute of the day, I still can't even bear to think of my girl Pasta being gone, it's like a piece of you dies with them. She was over 16 years old, but no matter how long they live it's never long enough. I guess to help with the loss I try not to think about it unless it's something funny or positive, try not to let myself think about regrets or replaying in detail her last few days. I stay as busy as possible spending time with my new pup. Also kind of helps thinking that when my time comes she will be there waiting for me.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

I am so sorry . I understand your feeling losing Lucky still hurts and there is a hole in my heart . I love Charlie but I still miss his big goofy self. I think each dog has a unique relationship w/ us and some become our heart dog. I believe Sage still watches over you and whispers things in Russell and Carly's ear to do to make you smile, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Daisy talks to Charlie whenever I find her doing something just like Daisy would have done. Sending hugs and thoughts to you.


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## TwoBigEars

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful, special girl. I too am reeling from the loss of my heart dog just last week. She was just shy of turning 5 and it was a very unexpected, painful way to go. It kills me that this happened and my heart suffers with yours. I don't expect we'll ever stop missing them.


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## dogfaeries

Sage's litter sister has puppies, and they are 11 days old. I haven't been over yet to see them. It's hard to be around Sage's sister because she reminds me of her so much. My breeder said what are you going to do if one of these is a baby Sage? Cry and take her home I guess! 

It's funny how Sage and her litter mates are all alike, temperament and personality wise, and they are all just like their dam. The sire of these puppies is such a nice dog (I've spent time with him off and on over the last 3 years). Who knows. I can't replace Sage, but there may be that one puppy...


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## TwoBigEars

I admit that I'm already thinking about another white shepherd, but I know with everything so fresh that it is just me trying in vain to get my Solstice back. NOT happening!!!

It is a heart-wrenching decision. If you feel it is the right thing to do, then go for it. It may help to have that connection to your Sage.


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## wolfy dog

dogfaeries said:


> Sage's litter sister has puppies, and they are 11 days old. I haven't been over yet to see them. It's hard to be around Sage's sister because she reminds me of her so much. My breeder said what are you going to do if one of these is a baby Sage? Cry and take her home I guess!
> 
> It's funny how Sage and her litter mates are all alike, temperament and personality wise, and they are all just like their dam. The sire of these puppies is such a nice dog (I've spent time with him off and on over the last 3 years). Who knows. I can't replace Sage, but there may be that one puppy...


If your circumstances can handle a pup, go for it. It's quite the opportunity. You know the lines and the temperament. It can be hard though not to compare the pup with Sage. Maybe a male pup? I have found that, for me personally, a new pup doesn't replace the one that passed. Your heart is pretty stretchy and can handle an endless amount of sweet memories. I consider it the cycle of life. A pup reminds you that life goes on. The following happened years ago, honestly true; I was weeding the grave of my heart dog and feeling pretty miserable about it, even though it had been at least two years since he died. Then my GSD pup WD showed up with a toy and sat in front of me on the grave. That helped so much.


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## dogfaeries

So funny that I was texting my breeder today for a puppy report, and our conversation went like this:

Breeder: "there's this one little dark girl..."

Me: "DON'T TELL ME THAT!!!"

Breeder: "Don't meet her."


Apparently we're having a puppy party at 6 weeks. We'll see...


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## wolfy dog

Wishing you well in healing from the loss of Sage but much happiness in anticipating a new one. It really is. Nice that she is black, which will help you see her for the individual she is. I am happy for you.


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## brookwoodgirl

I lost my beautiful girl Elsa to bone cancer. She became ill in December, and I let her go on July 8 and it was beyond painful. I cried for the six months I knew she was ill, I woke up every morning crying and went to sleep at night crying. I cry whenever I think of her. I'm crying now. 

Although it took me a long time to adopt Elsa after I lost my previous GSD, Melly, this time, I felt like I needed a dog to get me past that overwhelming grief. I could have gotten a dog that looked like Elsa, there was a WGSL female puppy that was practically a reincarnation of her, but as much as I wanted Elsa back, I thought it would be impossible to deal with a new dog wearing her face. I got another longcoat, because Elsa converted me to longcoats, but instead of a girl, Blitz is a boy, and instead of black and red blanketback like Elsa, he's a bicolor. He's lightened my heart a little. 

So I recommend getting a puppy (or a dog), but I was afraid to get a girl too much like Elsa so soon. Maybe in a year, when Blitz is past the sharktooth puppy stage, I'll look for a girl.

My sympathies on your loss of Sage, and hope you soon have a puppy to lighten your grief a little.


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## dogfaeries

wolfy dog said:


> Wishing you well in healing from the loss of Sage but much happiness in anticipating a new one. It really is. Nice that she is black, which will help you see her for the individual she is. I am happy for you.


Thank you!

The sire is an all black dog, and Sage's sister is a black and tan, so all the puppies will be black and tan. It would've been nice to have an all black one! I remember Sage's litter - all were black and tan, but with varying degrees. She has a sister that is quite dark. I do love a dog with a dark face.

I guess if I feel it, then I feel it. I'm pretty practical when it comes to puppy fever. They all are cute, but that doesn't mean I want them to come home with me!

Sage (on the left) and her sister (with the puppies) at about 7.5 months:


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## selzer

I think it has been 6 years for me since I lost Arwen. Babs and Jenna are 11 and Arwen was 4 when they were born, she would have been 15 in July. She was not quite 9 when I lost her. I think of her in some way every day. Maybe I miss a day here and there. It seems like I think of her in some way every single day.

It has gotten easier though. It has. The deep loss and pain at her passing is pretty much gone. I remember her fondly now. I remember little things that she did that is like one of my others. Or something someone else says reminds me of her. But it isn't always the grief at losing her now that I focus on. She was a great dog. Special.


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## wolfy dog

Once in a while when no one is home I say my heart dog's name out loud, the way I used to call him, and it makes me feel closer to him. Sometimes I say the names of all my dogs that have passed out loud. I swear you feel the love you have for them.


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## Susan_GSD_mom

Diane, she was such a beautiful girl. And telling you that we know how you feel because we've gone through it, doesn't really help does it? But at least we understand. I can sit and think of each one, and cry, a couple more easily than the others. The ones who leave early as your beautiful Sage did bring waves of pain and sorrow.... We really do understand...

Susan


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## GatorBytes

I keep wanting to post something here, but then I start crying. You were such a great support as Gator was dying, I wish I had something profound to say, but I guess my wounds are still too deep. 
Silly things...I cleaned all the windows in my van a few days ago, except one. I just couldn't erase the shnauz prints off the glass. His toys still sit on one of his beds in the L/R, the leashes and collars still hanging. One blanket I will not wash...etc.
So, We are here with you...


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## dogfaeries

I know how you feel. I want to comment on some of these threads, but I get choked up and then just skip it. It's brutal some days. I've been known to yell out "I MISS SAGE!". Her collar with tags is still hanging up on the leash holder. Her photo is the background on my phone. 

Sage and I travelled for a year, by ourselves, to dog shows. I have dozens of photos of her on random hotel room beds, lol. I really wish I could have finished her. Just needed that last major. She deserved to be a champion. I have a binder with all of her show photos and ribbons. I can finally look at it without boohoo-ing.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

I understand . There are days I hate logging in here as my username talks about the dogs who were so much a part of me. I miss Daisy and often times find myself talking to her. Lucky its still hard and I was very fortunate to have had him for as long as I did. I miss Chevy and Thunder but its different wirh Daisy who was my from puppy heart dog and Lucky who was mine and mine alone. I miss them still. I can understand how hard it is tohave lost Sage at such a young age, My thoughts are with you and sending hugs and prayers for some comfort. Take care 
Maggi


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## maxtmill

dogfaeries said:


> Sage's litter sister has puppies, and they are 11 days old. I haven't been over yet to see them. It's hard to be around Sage's sister because she reminds me of her so much. My breeder said what are you going to do if one of these is a baby Sage? Cry and take her home I guess!
> 
> It's funny how Sage and her litter mates are all alike, temperament and personality wise, and they are all just like their dam. The sire of these puppies is such a nice dog (I've spent time with him off and on over the last 3 years). Who knows. I can't replace Sage, but there may be that one puppy...


I am hoping that there will be that one puppy! I lost my heart dog suddenly at age 5. Canine hemolytic anemia. Now, almost 2 years later, I have another pup from the same lines and breeder. I am not sure exactly how he is related to my sweet boy that I lost, but he is very much like him. He has done my heart good. Sometimes I actually slip up and call him by my lost boy's name, but it doesn't make me feel bad anymore. I am just so happy to have a "cousin" of his!


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## Cassidy's Mom

I'm so sorry. I hate to tell you though, that it really doesn't get any easier. Today would have been Dena's 12th birthday, but we lost her at 4 years old to lymphoma on October 4th 2008. We still miss her so much, even though she's been gone almost 8 years. As horrible as it was to lose her so young, if we hadn't we would never have had Halo, which means I wouldn't have gotten into flyball. I've had so much fun and made so many great friends because of the sport, so it's bittersweet.


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## dogfaeries

Just this afternoon, I was sitting in the middle of seven 4 week old puppies, the puppies of Sage's sister. Of course they are adorable, and I smell like puppy breath. 

What's interesting is my breeder/friend has said there is a female that she knows I'll like. I sat down in this pile of puppy cuteness, looked around, picked up a girl and said "who is THIS?". Yep, that's the one she said I'd like. That's the one I like, lol. Now they are only 4 weeks old, and I don't know if I'll get one or not. My boyfriend has repeatedly said NO more than 2 dogs. He called me when I was out there, and said "are you taking one home? I guess she could hang out with the cats". Seriously, lol?? 

Anyway, I'm going to go play with puppies every weekend now. I can't wait to see how they change and grow. I have no clue if I'll get one. I do know that she's keeping the girls until they are 12 weeks old, so she can decide who she wants to keep. Of course, if I want that one girl, she said she is mine...


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## Cassidy's Mom

I think you should get her.


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## dogfaeries

Cassidy's Mom said:


> I think you should get her.


LOL, I was kind of blown away when I honed right in on that puppy, and that was the one she said she _knew_ I would like. I knew immediately when I saw Carly at 8 weeks old, that she was the one. I knew when I saw Sage at 7-8 weeks that she was the one. Now Russell, lol, he was my boyfriend's deal.


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## Irie

dogfaeries said:


> It was a year ago, yesterday, that I lost my Sage. I don't know where that year went. I just seems impossible that she's gone, and for so long. I miss her every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. You'd think it would get easier, but it hasn't gotten easier at all. I have two wonderful GSDs here at home, and I love them, but it's not the same. They aren't Sage.
> 
> It seems so unfair that I lost her to such a painful, random infection, and at barely 5 years old. How do you get past this? How do you stop saying every day "I want her back. I want my dog back"? I guess that tells you how special she was.


She was so beautiful!!

I am so sorry for your loss :crying:

I know some of your pain. I went through my first "anniversary" of my heart dog passing earlier this year (but I knew it was coming, HSA is really brutal), and am coming up on another later this month - my younger dog, and it was not expected. It does not get "easier", the pain is always there, you always miss them. 

My youngest dog died very suddenly and right in front of me as I was pulling into the parking lot of the ER vet. They could not get her back. She was four years old. I can't even write a lot about it, I just miss her so much. I miss both of them A LOT, but her death blindsided me and kicked me while I was down - I had just started feeling better about my oldest dog being gone. She was an amazing dog (they both were), and a real ambassador for the breed - she was a great friend and I loved her so much. My only small comfort is that she is not suffering or in any pain. I never stop wanting her back, I never stop missing her. It is a terrible feeling.

It helped me to have her ashes - I also planted some flowers that remind me of her. It has also helped immensely just to have someone to talk to about her...very soothing not to have to bottle up emotions or have them fester. I have gotten two more GSDs since then - they are by far the best listeners for the matter as well.

Sage will always be in your heart and mind. The pain of her loss will be there too. But remember why that pain is there - it was because she was so special, it was because of all those good times (and not so good) that you shared your lives.


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## zetti

dogfaeries said:


> Just this afternoon, I was sitting in the middle of seven 4 week old puppies, the puppies of Sage's sister. Of course they are adorable, and I smell like puppy breath.
> 
> What's interesting is my breeder/friend has said there is a female that she knows I'll like. I sat down in this pile of puppy cuteness, looked around, picked up a girl and said "who is THIS?". Yep, that's the one she said I'd like. That's the one I like, lol. Now they are only 4 weeks old, and I don't know if I'll get one or not. My boyfriend has repeatedly said NO more than 2 dogs. He called me when I was out there, and said "are you taking one home? I guess she could hang out with the cats". Seriously, lol??
> 
> Anyway, I'm going to go play with puppies every weekend now. I can't wait to see how they change and grow. I have no clue if I'll get one. I do know that she's keeping the girls until they are 12 weeks old, so she can decide who she wants to keep. Of course, if I want that one girl, she said she is mine...


Your boyfriend sounds just like my husband did when I proposed the idea of taking in our new girl, Lexi. Two dogs, that's it. Of course, he gave in, as I knew he would and he is now head over heels in love with her and could not be happier as we await the arrival of baby makes three in January.

As for the girl puppy who is clearly meant to be yours: when you know, you know.


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## dogfaeries

Yeah, so I'm getting a puppy. Shoot me now. I must be crazy. But I'm SO EXCITED!! 

LOL, I just can't pass up that red (ribbon) girl. We had a friend out to do a little evaluation of the litter yesterday. Actually she is the breeder of Sage's sire. And she was ALL about the red girl, and kept telling my breeder "tell Di she has to take this puppy". So there you go, lol. She was the one that insisted I take home the puppy that would become Sage. I guess I have to listen to her! 

When I get her, I'll start her own thread. It'll still be a few weeks before I bring her home. I'm going back out on Friday to hang out with them again. Time to start the "name the puppy" game!


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## Susan_GSD_mom

I'm happy for you, Diane!

Susan


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## RZZNSTR

I am sorry for your loss! No, the pain never goes away!


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## dogfaeries

Thank you guys. I'll never have another Sage. That girl was a one of a kind! I'm looking forward to this new little relative of hers though.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Diane I am so happy for you!


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## MyHans-someBoy

It does sound like it was meant to be.
I am excited for you and can hardly wait for pictures!!!!


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## dogfaeries




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## MyHans-someBoy

Ah, beauty and trouble all wrapped up in one little furry package. Looks like she's off to do something fun in that picture!
She's adorable.


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## dogfaeries

Oh she's quite the character already. And a talker. I hope that continues, because I love it, lol.


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## Jenny720

Im so happy hear such great news and so excited for you and all your new adventures with your pup!!!!!She is adorable!!! In the photo she sure looks like a girl on a mission!


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## kelbonc

I can feel the excitement in your posts. Its wonderful!! And she is adorable!!:wub: Now to choose a name?


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## dogfaeries

It's looking like her name may be Scarlet. My breeder is keeping a girl and is thinking about naming hers Sloane. I said they sound like a couple of Southern sorority girls.


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## kelbonc

Scarlet is a lovely name.


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## Galathiel

So ... are you going to update with weekly photos?


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## GatorBytes

Well. This is a surprise! or not, lol...congrats to the new pup for getting you!


My friend has a Scarlet...she is a "Bassador" ...a Basset Hound x Lab...bought from pet store of course.
She is getting old though...good pooch


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## dogfaeries

Galathiel said:


> So ... are you going to update with weekly photos?




I am, lol! I'll be out there again on Friday to see them. I won't get her until 9 weeks, but it's nice to be able to see her frequently until then. 

My breeder told me today that our friend (the one that said I had to take home the red girl) squealed when I said I was going to take her. And then said about seven times, " if I was 10 years younger, I'd want to take her, to show". I think she's going to be a really fun puppy.

I'll start a new thread!


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## wolfy dog

This is so exciting for you. I remember the feeling of anticipating the new pup after my heart dog had passed. Mine came back in a dream. The dream: I was playing with the new (male) pup when my deceased heart dog came into the room. I was so happy to see him and told him,"But you were dead!" Then he calmly turned around, marked the door post and vanished into his own world. End of the dream. I considered it approval from him. I had kinda wondered what he would think if he knew I got another male pup. So he came back with the answer. I never forget that dream. I am curious if Sage will message you from beyond as well.


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## dogfaeries

Sometimes I feel like she waltzes through my bedroom. She used to do that at night, to check on me. I'm curious too.


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## Jenny720

Really like names - lol!!! Can't wait to see more pictures. I have now doubt Sage is checking up on you and sending this special pup your way!


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## wolfy dog

While we are at that subject, the following is really true. About 10 years ago my sweet old mutt dog died. he was born in my hands and I was his god. He was almost OCD obedient. A few days later I lit his candle in front of his picture and told him to send me a good Collie some day. Honestly, the next day a local gal, I knew from another job, called me and asked me if I was interested in two Collies, whose owner had passed away. What are the chances for that?! How many Collies become available at one day? 
I referred them to the rescue but told my old boy that he shouldn't have to work so hard to obey me anymore. That timing was not quite right. It's now years later and I have Cam, one year old Collie male.


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## Walter Mitty

Sorry for your loss


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