# Lost my Rex. Please pray.



## Ti2 (Feb 5, 2018)

Hi All,

I just wanted to share a very unfortunate turn of things that happened last Friday on 11th October. Our beloved and family's love of life, dear Rex left us. 

He was just 18 months and was very active and full of life. Just about a month and half we moved to our new house in Barrie from Whitby and one of the main reason was to get a bigger house with a big backyard for him to run and play which he seems to like a lot. 

I am writing this post to share and just wanted to be amongst you all to feel ok and to know if what i think happened is usual. 

Since the time we got him from the breeder at 8 weeks, he was never away from the family for more than 10 hours ( when we left him in the kennel) or at home for more than 5 to 6 hours. I work from home most of the time but back in Whitby the house was small and there was a kind of feeling that we are near by even though i might be upstairs in the room working and Rex lying near the door waiting for my wife ( was working part-time in before and after school child care) or kids to come back from school. My wife used to leave very early and would be back home by the time the kids left for school and later when she left for work in the afternoon , it was almost time for the kids to come back so in a sense he was not alone or felt alone.

Moving to Barrie in the big house with the big backyard was a decision we made when we saw he is growing and being a big dog he needs space to run around. We found him so happy in the new house and he claimed the house as his own within days and would play in the backyard or pull us to sit in the swing on the deck and run around the house playing hide and seek with my younger son. 

All these happened in the summer holiday and then when the school opened the kids were gone in the morning. My wife didn't look for a job here and as usual Rex would follow my wife for each step she would take either to the kitchen or basement or garage or backyard or even the bathroom. In the mid of September my wife and younger one left for India and it was about 2 weeks she had left.

There was nothing different in the routine. I would go for our walk in the morning and evening as usual. Sometimes we would meeting my elder son on the way when he is going to catch his school bus @ 7:30am or he would meet him at the door if we come back before he left. I would give him food and then i would go to the basement in my office to login and start working. I usually do not get out untill lunch or something till 5pm. My elder some comes back at 3pm from school and would usually go into his room and be there busy with his assignment or study.

On the 11th Oct, the guy who came to do our window caulking rang the bell and as usual Rex rant to the door barking as he would do. This door is plain glass from top half and the sidelights on both side which goes from top to bottom also has plain glass so he can very well clearly who is outside. I pulled back Rex and told him to sit and slightly opened the door. The guy asked me to move my car and van from the driveway so that he can put his ladder and start working. I closed the door and went inside to take the keys. Rex knew i am going out and as usual wanted to go out with me but i told him to sit and wait. I went outside and got into the car and moved it a little and then went into the van and did the same thing and came inside. And there he was lying on his side with mouth open with his tongue out. I tried to shake him. I pumped his heart. I held his mouth and tried to do CPR. Ran and got some water and sprinkled on him but he was just lying lifeless. I observed his chest and there was not movement. I immediately called the guy to help me lift him. He was almost 90 pounds. I drove like crazy to a vet clinic nearby which is about 5 mins drive. I called them and a vet came running and she checked and said he is gone already.

I am not writing what i went through the moment i saw him lying there when i entered inside after moving the car and van back and at the vet clinic and till now.

This is my assessment and some new things i am now relating that may have also happened.

He was very closed to everybody in the house and mostly with my wife and younger one. After the school opened the kids were away in the school and then suddenly he could not see my wife and the younger one when they left for India. My elder one would leave by 7:30am and i would go to basement at 8:30am almost till 5pm and maybe coming upstairs once. For this two weeks almost he must've been missing my wife and younger son as i would see him going to his room and coming out and initially he would go to the other side of our bed where my wife sleeps and would bark as if trying to wake her up thinking she is sleeping with the face covered with the blanket etc. He would sit on the stairs the whole day as i found him on few occasions i came upstairs. The only time i would hear a commotion upstairs is when my elder son came back from the school. He has a special greeting for him which involves jumping and pulling his shoes and hands and occasional peeing.

I think some kind of depression must have been building within himself and he was feeling alone or felt being abandoned by the person he loved most. The moment when i went outside to move the car, he must've thought i too am leaving him when he saw me enter the car through the glass door. 

The vet in the clinic took an x-ray when i requested as i thought maybe when he was inside and he was jumping on the door he must've twisted his neck or something but she didn't see anything of that sort but rather she found his liver to be abnormal and big in size and guessed his heart was weak. She stated that Rex had died of instant heart failure. 

I then started thinking about few things we had observed and started linking to it. Often when he would run in the backyard like a deer alone or even play with any of us and when later he would stop, we noticed he seems very tired and would pant a lot and would lie down for quite some time rest and then be ok. Also one of the beaches is very near to our house (approx 900 meters) in Barrie and the walking trail is like a slope while going to the beach. Rex is always kind of leading and with a force of his own out on a walk and while going to the beach we always had to pull back on the leash but while coming back and climbing we always noticed he is slow and is tired and he would actually walk behind by the time we have climbed and are out of the trail on the road. After reaching home he would just lie down for quite some time and we thought he would be fine after some more walks as he will build stamina.

I recently discussed this with one of my uncle who is a qualified doctor and he said he must have had a sub clinical congenital heart condition as his liver was abnormal. As he was already under a sort of depression, when he saw me getting into the car his anxiety level must have suddenly shot up and as a result he had sudden massive heart failure. 

We are all so devastated thinking that he died alone missing us all and nobody was there near him. What pain he must have been going through thinking people he loved have abandoned him.

The only good thing is that he didn't suffer as he didn't peed or pooed or didn't vomit when he died. Even later in the evening when i was still there with him in the vet clinic, his eyes were normal and not bulging or popping out to indicate he had suffered during his last moments.

I know its a passing phase and only time will heal it but i just can't seem to think why it happened the way it happened. He must've thought he is alone and was being left alone and the last thing he saw was me getting into the car which he felt so painful that it killed him.

We do remember his naughtiness and the things he would do but it hurts more.

Its very soon and we still can't seem to accept he is no more. We as a family have decided we are not keeping any more dogs or pets. Not because we are afraid to take care of any dog but we cannot match or even come near to their selfless love and dedication. We can't bear the thought of having someone who gave all he has for nothing. He never cared what we fed him or where he put his bed or what we do to him. His only need in his life was to be with us and have our time. At times its difficult in our daily routine to be always with him but never imagined he will have such deep separation anxiety building up inside him. He never showed any other indication and would eat normally and play with us later in the evening after i would logout and went for our evening walk etc. There was no other health indication in the past or recently in his behavior or physically or anything.

Rex was my first dog in life and first in our family here. I'm still afraid to see and face my younger one when he returns next week on 18th. Although we have told him as we thought its better he knows and sort of accepts that Rex is not there anymore rather than expecting him to wait on the door when he returns and going crazy seeing them as he does everytime and then being told he is no more. I just can't explain to anybody how we all are going through and i've been crying with my elder son on occasions. 

Here are some of his pictures. All i can say is please pray and if i could i would let him know we all loved him more than anything and no-one left him. 

Thanks.


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## MineAreWorkingline (May 2, 2015)

RIP little one, you are whole now. Go run and play.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the shock. There is no doubt that your boy was truly loved and had the best life possible during his short time in this world.


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## Orphan Heidi (Sep 21, 2018)

So very sorry for your loss of you valued furry family member. Sounds like Rex had a wonderful life. It does sound like
he probably had a congenital problem that took him so early. Such a sad, shocking experience for you all.

Whenever I've lost beloved fur friends I try to always "Remember the good times".


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## CeraDean (Jul 9, 2019)

I'm so sorry that you lost him so early. He sounded like an incredible part of the family. You and your family gave him a great life full of love and joy.


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## Jchrest (Jun 5, 2019)

I so very sorry, my heart and prayers are with you and your family through this terrible ordeal.


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## JonRob (Nov 5, 2017)

I am so sorry that your beloved Rex crossed over at such a young age. I think your vet and your uncle are right, he was most likely born with a lethal heart defect which caused a massive arrhythmia that killed him instantly. German Shepherds are prone to a heart defect called subaortic stenosis. If this is what Rex had, there is nothing you or anyone could have done to prevent his sudden death. There are some heart defects that can be fixed surgically if they are diagnosed very early, but this is not one of them. 

He did not suffer when he died, and he was eagerly awaiting your return. Anxiety did not cause his death. It was not your fault. He would have dropped dead even if you had been with him. He knew how much you loved him and he did not think you abandoned him.

My girlfriend and I found the following story from Suzanne Clothier helpful when we (like her) lost the best GSD ever at 8 months due to subaortic stenosis. Unlike you, we (and Clothier) knew it was coming. It was the reason we took him as a puppy, so he would have a wonderful life. And he did. It really hurt when he suddenly and painlessly dropped dead—as we knew he would—but we never regretted having him. He was such a joy, and he was so happy, and it was truly a privilege to take care of him. He died instantly while joyfully running and playing with his dog buddies.

And we just took in another wonderful GSD puppy with even worse subaortic stenosis. The cardiologist does not expect him to live more than a few more months, but they will be very happy months.

Here's the story from Clothier:

“There is an old Sufi tale of a merchant in Baghdad whose servant returns from the marketplace trembling and pale. The servant had been jostled in the marketplace, and when he turned to see who had bumped him, he saw Death, who looked at him and made a threatening gesture. The servant begs the merchant to loan him a horse so that he might go to the distant city of Samara, where Death will not be able to find him. The merchant agrees, and the servant gallops away. Later that day, the merchant also sees Death in the market, and asks him, ‘Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?’ ‘I did not threaten him,’ Death said. ‘That gesture was only my start of surprise. I was astonished to see him here in Baghdad, because I have an appointment with him tonight in Samara.’”

(From Suzanne Clothier’s Bones Would Rain from the Sky.)

Rex is not gone, only crossed over, and in time you will be reunited with him. You may catch glimpses of him or hear his paws on the floor. If you do, you are not going crazy--he is just letting you know that he is still with you.


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## Springbrz (Aug 13, 2013)

I'm am so sorry for the loss of your family's best buddy Rex. Your story brought me to tears. I can't imagine the shock of loosing such a young dog.
I just want to tell you that you shouldn't beat yourself up with guilt. You shouldn't feel that he passed feeling depressed and left alone or abandoned. It really sounds like he had a congenital heart defect. More than likely it was just the excitement of the repair man and happenstance. He very well could have passed on one of your swimming trips or play times in the yard. It is no way your fault. You gave Rex a loving home, cared deeply for him and he knew that well. Even in the end you did all you could for him. 
Rex did not suffer.
Be kind to yourself. I hope that you will find peace and healing in the memories of the love you shared with Rex. I will keep you are your family in my prayers.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Ti2 said:


> I know its a passing phase and only time will heal it but i just can't seem to think why it happened the way it happened. He must've thought he is alone and was being left alone and the last thing he saw was me getting into the car which he felt so painful that it killed him.


I'm so sorry for your loss. He was beautiful. But please try not to blame yourself - as your uncle suggested, it does sound like a congenital problem so it was only a matter of time, no matter what you did or didn't do. It was likely just a coincidence that it happened while you were outside moving vehicles. The excitement of someone coming over to work on your house could have triggered it or it could have been nothing in particular. His life was short, but full of love. I hope you and your family can console yourselves with that thought. Be kind to yourself and each other. You were not responsible. You could not have prevented it.

Right now the idea of loving another dog may seem impossible but I can assure you that if at some point in the future you feel that you may be ready to consider getting a dog, you will love it just as much as you did your dear Rex. I know this from personal experience. My husband and I have had GSDs together since 1986 and have loved and lost five of them, two at just 4 years old. We are now on GSD #6, and she is just as special in her own way, and even in some of the same ways, as our previous beloved dogs, and we love her every bit as much as those that are now gone.


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have lost a very young dog, so I completely understand the pain. Take some time to grieve and try not to blame yourself. He sounds like he had a great life and was loved dearly.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

He was beautiful and you gave him a good life. He had weak heart. There was no way for you to know that. It just happened. It wasn't your fault. It could have happened when you were throwing a ball for him. It happened to happen when you were moving your vehicles. 

Trying to find meaning in how your dog died, so that you can feel badly about it is understandable, it is what we do, but it isn't helpful. 

It didn't happen because your family was out of town. It didn't happen because the dog thought you were abandoning him. It happened because death is a part of life, and all of us are dying from the moment we are born. 

Your baby was young, and that is so hard. I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. It was the luck of the draw. There is no reason the next puppy won't live to fourteen. But living critters are all going to die, and some of them are going to die young.


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## Shane'sDad (Jul 22, 2010)

Sorry for your loss.....He was beautiful.....you and yours are in my prayers....


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## sebrench (Dec 2, 2014)

oh my goodness. I'm so sorry for your loss of beloved Rex. He was so very handsome. It is never easy to lose a friend, but it seems even harder to lose one so unexpectedly and so young. While you are grieving his loss, try not to feel guilty or to blame yourselves. It was a heart condition. Not your fault. I believe it would have happened even if your family had been home. Your love for Rex shines through your post, and his for you. He was home with you, in a place that was happy and familiar. I don't think he felt abandoned.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

How devastating. I am so sad to read this. I too lost a GSD at that age and never wanted another dog anymore until the breeder called that he had puppies. At some point I hope you will be ready to love a new dog, a dog that will have the same great life like your Rex. He was beautiful and well loved. Please do not blame yourself. A dog healthy dog will never die from these circumstances.
When we welcome a new dog in our lives, we will never know how long they will be with us, but I do know that every hour with them is a gift. Heal well.


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## cvamoca (Jul 12, 2019)

My sincere condolences. He was a beautiful boy. 

While it may seem horrible at the time (and it is), dropping dead of heart failure isn't a bad way to go. You're alive, then boom, you aren't. But it's hard on those left behind.

I was driving home one day when I saw my neighbour's kneeling in their driveway with their German Shepherd, Gerry. Being a nurse and the local fix-it-up vet everything lady, I stopped.
Husband had backed over him with his truck. It had JUST happened, and I had to explain to the wife that the movement she saw, the little skin twitches, didn't mean he was alive anymore. 

They were gutted. All I could do was hug them. The husband is the roughest, toughest guy I know, and he was bawling--"Gerry, Gerry, why were you laying there?" It was haunting and heart wrenching. 

I few weeks later he sheepishly drove up and gave me a gift certificate for Tim Hortons. Their way of saying thank you, everyone drinks Timmies (except me, I drink tea, but the gesture was lovely). 

He was absolutely a devastated man. He'll never get over the guilt of not checking his mirrors.

Can you imagine running over your own dog? That's where I thought this was going, and I hoped it wasn't. 

I'm so so sorry this happened to you and you Rex. But you didn't do anything wrong, you were careful and your dog wasn't stressed to cause his death. Sometimes horrible things just happen.

In science, we learn that matter cannot be created, or destroyed, only changed. As weird as this sounds, I take comfort in the fact that my critters, my parents and everyone I have loved--were not destroyed, they just changed to another form of matter. They are still with us, they may be a part of a snowflake on a winter's morning, they may be part of that beautiful sunset...but regardless, they are still here in a different form. Maybe you or someone can take comfort in that.

I read this at Mom's funeral. And I believe it with my entire soul. 
By Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry, 
I am not there; I did not die.


Rex is still here, just in a form we might not recognize.


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## Jenny720 (Nov 21, 2014)

When we loose a loved one whether it is two or four legged it is one of the first things we sadly do-blAme ourselves. It is sometimes how we try to make sense of things. These feelings will not serve you well and it is important to understand that the great gift of life is not always in our control. I’m so sorry keep your heart open it will help heal. Your Rex has a new journey and will be with you always. Many prayers to you and your family.


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

My heart is breaking for you. Your dog was a family member and losing him is a wrenching blow. Instead of looking at how short his life was, I’m thinking about how much joy you and your family gave him for 18 months. If the breeder had known he has a heart defect, he would not have been sold and given a full life, even though it was short for a dog. I read everything you did with him and gave to him, and I though what a lucky boy he was to have such a close and loving family. 

It’s very hard now while you are grieving and the loss is sharp and painful. That will fade and you will be left with pictures and warm memories. You and your family sound like good owners, and you may want another dog again. When we lost our first German Shepherd, who was our only dog at the time, I realized it was even more devastating because we were down to one dog, and then had none. I decided I would always have two dogs from then on. I stagger their ages, but when we lost the next one and I had a younger dog in my home, it was a little less painful.


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## NaughtyNibbler (Oct 28, 2018)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Rest assured that you didn't do anything wrong. I'm, also, thinking it was a congenital issue. If it didn't happen that day, it would have likely happened on another day soon - perhaps during play or a walk. It's not unusual for a dog to try to get out the front door (usually wanting to go for a walk or thinking they can go somewhere in a vehicle)

When I lost my dog, Becca, approx 1 yr ago, she just collapsed while we were playing. She was 11. I rushed her to an emergency vet. She had fluid around her heart & some indications that she had cancer. We had quit going to the park, because she started to routinely want to go back to the car. I thought it was joint pain, but in hindsight, it was likely that she just didn't feel well and her heart wasn't working well either.

Just like humans, dogs have issues with many of the same things that we have. I used to have a coworker who adopted a young GSD. No one knew that she had a blood-clotting disorder. He had the dog spayed. Once the dog got home, she bleed out & died. I remember how devastated he was. 

Again, so sorry for your loss. I'm betting that you dog felt loved & looked up to you!


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## Ti2 (Feb 5, 2018)

Hello All,

Thank you to each one of you. My apologies i am not replying individually. Thank you to each one of you for your kind words and support. 

Rex was our first dog. He was more special cause my elder son was diagnosed with ADHD ( ADD Type) and he was his support. My younger one ( 8 years as of now) used to be afraid of dark and even going alone to bathroom if we were all watching TV downstairs but Rex gave him so much confidence by giving him company by just walking with him and waiting outside the bathroom or going with him to basement for picking toys from his bin. All those small things.

Yes like many of you said, it does look like he had some heart problems that he was born with and i'm so grateful to God that except for few occasions of diarrhea he never had any other issues and had enjoyed his life with us instead of being alive and suffering or going through some other painful phase in the future. 

Thanks again to each one of you for your kind words and understanding what it feels. 

Attaching one of his last few recent pictures. He never knew he is big. Always a puppy till the last day.


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## tc68 (May 31, 2006)

When I first read the title of your thread, I thought, "Oh, her dog ran away. I better pray that they get reunited." Then I read the long post. Brought tears to my eyes. Sorry for your loss. I wish you peace in the weeks and months to come. BTW, what a gorgeous dog!


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## JonRob (Nov 5, 2017)

Ti2, the loss of a person's first dog is especially painful, I think because we are totally unprepared for how much it hurts. The shock of it is overwhelming for the first few days. In time, your grief will soften.

Rex and you are very lucky that his breeder did not diagnose his heart problem. If they had, they most likely would have killed him as soon as he was diagnosed. You never would have known your wonderful Rex because he would have crossed over at 7 weeks instead of 18 months.

As you sort things out during the next few weeks, here are some things for your consideration.

Wherever Rex is now, he does not want you to suffer. He brought you so much joy and he wants above all your happiness. And he knows how much your elder son needs a dog. Rex understands that the best way to honor him is to say to him, you are so wonderful that because of you I cannot live without a German Shepherd. And then when you are ready, find another puppy. Rex will be pleased. Also, I don't know if you believe in reincarnation, but if you do, consider the possibility that Rex will be reincarnated and come back to you that way.

Thank you for the pics of Rex. What a magnificent dog! I like the pics of him with the rascal look on his face the best.

I believe that God sent Rex to you for a reason, and that God will bless you and your family.


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## buddyvo (Jul 4, 2015)

Wow, what a beautiful puppy and had to leave so soon! It will be 6 weeks since we said goodbye to our beloved Buddy. I can tell you the pain is unreal, but that's only because you loved Rex as just as much he loved you. Even after so many weeks has gone passed, my wife is till unable to look at Buddy's photos for she can't bare the pains. I on the other side, can't stop looking his photos and videos for I misses him just the same. Don't be afraid to do whatever you feel is right, and more importantly allowed yourself to celebrate and cherish the memories you have with Rex.

In my quest to celebrate Buddy's life, my wife and started fundraising for a local charity called Thulanidogs.org. And I am making a 3 part series videos of Buddy 




You may want to do the same.

Soon, once our hearts healed, my wife and I will adopt more GSD for they are the best pet.

RIP Rex!


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## Nursejulie (May 26, 2018)

I am so so sorry for your loss of Rex! It is a heartache that only pet lovers can understand. I hope you will get to the place in your heart soon where you can know this was not through any fault of yours. Bless you and your family. When I lost my last dog I thought I would never smile again....for months and months......about a year and a half later I was so ready for another dog and I learned of my Macey who needed a home ..... there is a healing that only she could do. Will never forget about my boy Luka .... the love and experience is unique with each one. Praying for you all.


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## germanshepowner (Oct 26, 2018)

Please... do not think that. Remember the time you spent together and what an INCREDIBLE life he had! How many dogs get to spend every minute with their humans?! Not many! My dog acts like it’s the end of the world when I leave and two seconds after I go, she goes and sits on her bed. Totally fine and knowing I’ll return. It was a fluke that happened at that time. If anything, maybe some part of him was waiting for you to leave so you wouldn’t see it. Some dogs just know and go off alone. Please never ever think again that you caused it. He lived an amazing life. Every second of it.


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## Ti2 (Feb 5, 2018)

Thanks to all. Reading each one of your messages is like a healing touch. Thanks to all of you for understanding and sharing your memories. Yes he was a very loving and gentle dog. Thanks to all from the bottom of my heart.


-Ti2


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## Heidigsd (Sep 4, 2004)

So very sorry about what happened to Rex...so sad.


Makes you wonder if his heart condition could have been diet related in any way? https://vetnutrition.tufts.edu/2018...AR1ySGatSvK2PQnntvFce4jQrS-7-jveQ46UT45kXbPXY


There is a Facebook group if you're interested to read some of the stories about DCM, maybe it will give you some answers. https://www.facebook.com/groups/TaurineDCM/learning_content/



RIP Rex :crying:


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

So sorry for your loss of Rex. Sounds like he had a great life and brought a lot of comfort and joy to your family. Good boy Rex, job well done. 
This is a quote I like,
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
Rest in peace Rex. Peace to you and your family.


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## JonRob (Nov 5, 2017)

Heidigsd said:


> Makes you wonder if his heart condition could have been diet related in any way? https://vetnutrition.tufts.edu/2018...AR1ySGatSvK2PQnntvFce4jQrS-7-jveQ46UT45kXbPXY


That is an excellent point. Ti2, was Rex eating any kind of grain free food?


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## Thecowboysgirl (Nov 30, 2006)

So very sorry for your loss. We lost one young to a congenital defect too. 

I understand what you are going through but please don't beat yourself up or think the dog died lonely. The last thing he saw was you, which was certainly what he would have wanted, and that's it.

It is very shocking to lose a young, healthy seeming dog out of nowhere, I totally understand. Hang in there


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Rex's life was too short but boy, was it good! He had a great family, a great home and the family had a great dog. What an honor on both sides. I'm sure that Rex would have wanted to stay longer with this great family in this home they bought for him no less. Some things can't be helped and this is one of them. It wasn't anything you did, it wasn't Rex's fault either. It's just a rotten thing that ended Rex's great life way too soon.



Despite the sadness and heartache, there is another dog out there that would love to have that great home that Rex left for him. I know some people think it is too hard to get another dog. On the other hand, there are those of us who need a dog. Always. I am hoping that you will soon be open to welcoming another dog into your home. It won't be Rex. It will be a different dog with other strengths to offer your family.


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## Oscar2019 (Oct 9, 2019)

Omg, this is such a sad story ! I so feel your pain ! As I was growing up we had several family dogs and when they passed away for various reasons I was heartbroken ! We have a 4month old GSD puppy now and we love him so much , I cant even bear to think about loosing him ! Dont give up on having another family pet ! Rex cant be replaced but you and your family can love another puppy again ! My thoughts are with you and your family ! ❤


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