# What to do with my mom's dogs??



## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Here's the deal: My mom is getting to the point that she can't live on her own so hubby and I are thinking of moving her in so we can help her regulate her blood sugar(she's diabetic). My mom is different from other moms its like I am the parent and she is the child. I have always had to take care of her moreso since my dad passed away over 7 yrs. ago. The problem is that she has 3 female dogs. We truly don't know what to do with them. We don't want anymore dogs. These dogs are out of control-she doesn't spend any time with them. They are untrained, chaotic and two are dog aggressive. She goes out and feeds them and that's just about it. I want to be able to bring them into our household, but they are going to require tons of my time to rehab. I feel like our current dogs will suffer b/c of all the time they will require. She lived with us before and she didn't take care of her dogs we did. We didn't have Jamie at the time either. Her alpha female pushes the other two around and when she was with us before kept trying constantly to beat up our mastiff(Lola). We have worked so hard with Jamie and her training. We feel as if they will be taking away from her. We are perplexed about this whole situation. We don't have reservations about my mom moving in it's her dogs that we don't want. We have peace here now that it is just our three dogs adding her dogs will upset that peace. 

We will not dump these dogs in a shelter. We are thinking of euthanizing them. There is nobody to take them if we don't take them. We will not dump these dogs on someone else. We truly need some opinions on this. Should we add them or not? Would we be wrong to euthanize them?


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

Are they anything that somebody might want? Sad to say it's easier to rehome a young, purebred crazy dog with behavior issues than an older mixed breed with those same issues. If they're fairly young and purebred you might try a courtesy listing with a rescue group. 

I would not take someone else's dogs just out of guilt. I may be a bad person, but I would euthanize before I would ask my family and my dogs to put up with three-- THREE!-- additional dogs that would severely upset the pack dynamic.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

That really is a tough decision to make. What comes to mind first is how will your mother take having her dogs taken from her? Will that prove to make things more difficult with your mother?

What breeds are the dogs? Can you contact breed specific rescues for each of them? Is that an option?

While my heart hates to hear that they could be PTS, I certainly can follow your reasoning behind the decision. My Golden is a hard case, and if something happened and I couldn't take care of him, he'd have to be euthanized.


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## Betty (Aug 11, 2002)

If you don't want to move them in can you not pay someone to put some ob and manners on them and then rehome?

I can think of nothing crueler then if i lost my independence and my animals were killed.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

Betty said:


> I can think of nothing crueler then if i lost my independence and my animals were killed.


I definitely think you do have to take Mom's feelings into consideration. A lot of people have dogs just to have them but aren't very attached to them. Other people would be destroyed if their dogs were put down. Honestly it sounds like OP's mom is more of the first one. (No judgement my parents are like that too)


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## kiya (May 3, 2010)

I don't think a vet will just euthanize them. Thats really a tuff position. I always said that if something were to happen to me I would rather have my animals euthanized than see them separated or suffer. Is there something you can set up to separate them from your dogs and have your mom still care for them? It would give her a purpose. Or does she not care what happens. You know how hard it is to find homes for older dogs.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Of the three dogs none are PB. The alpha female is 8 yrs. old she is a german shepherd mix. The other one is a yellow lab mix(about 6 yrs. old) extremely overweight b/c my mom doesn't spend time with them so she overfeeds them to compensate for the neglect. The small girl breed female is heartworm positive(she was when we got her.) She is a heeler mix. She's about 2.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

How old are her dogs.
Are they purebred

Just wondering if breed rescue might be an option


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## Daisy (Jan 4, 2009)

You are in a tough situation, I am sorry. If the dogs were well-behaved, my answer would be it would be cruel to bring your mother into your home and euthanize her dogs, but then, you wouldn't have this issue if they were well behaved. You state they are not, they are dog aggressive, and your mother doesn't take care of them or spend time with them. Perhaps let her continue to live on her own and maybe obtain a home health nurse to help care for her - until it reaches a point where she must leave?


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Betty said:


> If you don't want to move them in can you not pay someone to put some ob and manners on them and then rehome?
> 
> I can think of nothing crueler then if i lost my independence and my animals were killed.


No, my mom isn't loosing her independence she depends on us for everything. She doesn't drive or do anything in the yard. She isn't like most people she's different. She sleeps a lot and the dogs sit outside all day until she finally gets up and then she feeds them and goes back in the house. I handle all of her business and affairs. She is extremely dependent on us. She doesn't mean to be the way she is it's just how she has been all of her life. She didn't take care of me when I was little she was never a doting mother. I take care of her not the other way around. She isn't going to freak and hate us if they are put down. She doesn't take care of them now as it is. They are just there.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

kiya said:


> I don't think a vet will just euthanize them. Thats really a tuff position. I always said that if something were to happen to me I would rather have my animals euthanized than see them separated or suffer. Is there something you can set up to separate them from your dogs and have your mom still care for them? It would give her a purpose. Or does she not care what happens. You know how hard it is to find homes for older dogs.


Our vet will euthanize them. He has known us for a long time and he know how we care for our animals. 

They had to be put in a separate section before and she never went out there and took care of them. We fed them, groomed them, worked w/ them. It took up all of our time to try to help these dogs before. She never went out there with them. She loves them, but she won't put any effort into taking care of them. She never has.


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## gracieGSD (Jan 10, 2011)

You have no choice here. You have to to euthanize the backyard dogs. You don't say what breed they are, but maybe you could get a small breed rescue as a companion for your mom? Easier on you and your family and she can still have dog to love that lives by your rules. And I am sorry this is happening to you.


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

gracieGSD said:


> You have no choice here. You have to to euthanize the backyard dogs. *You don't say what breed they are*, but maybe you could get a small breed rescue as a companion for your mom? Easier on you and your family and she can still have dog to love that lives by your rules. And I am sorry this is happening to you.


Yes, she did



JustMeLeslie said:


> Of the three dogs none are PB. The alpha female is 8 yrs. old she is a german shepherd mix. The other one is a yellow lab mix(about 6 yrs. old) extremely overweight b/c my mom doesn't spend time with them so she overfeeds them to compensate for the neglect. The small girl breed female is heartworm positive(she was when we got her.) She is a heeler mix. She's about 2.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Ok, let me see if you have this straight, your mom is diabetic, but has her faculties. She needs some care, but she is not losing her mind?

So are you moving Mom into your household, where she has a bedroom, and will share your bath, your kitchen, etc?

Or will she have her own living area, a couple of rooms with a bath and kitchenette?

Her own entrance?

Could you set up a little section of the yard for her dogs? A fenced in area where she can care for them as she had all along? Maybe a baby gate between her section of the house and yours so if hers do come in, then they will not need to interact with your dogs? 

I understand not everyone has a mother in law's suite for their mother. 

Yours is a situation I would not want to deal with. 

I think that what you need to do is talk with your mom and try to have her make the suggestion for what happens with her dogs.


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## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

You're a wonderful daughter to provide a home for your mother. Recognizing that her dogs present a real dilemma, is it possible to keep one of them, maybe the smaller 2 year old? Could she get along?


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Since she's unwilling or unable to care for the dogs and you're taking all the responsibility, you get to decide- and it sounds as though that's the best option. Especially after what you've been through, you have to protect your dogs. You're certainly headed for a lot of challenges and putting your dogs in jeopardy is not another one you need to face.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

I care for my own mother in our home (with help/post massive stroke) and it only gets worse not better and *is* a real hardship in and of itself.

NOW I say that having had a mother who always thought the sun rose and set on my head and would have cut of her right arm for me. If nothing else, I honor your dedication to your mother. It sounds like the dogs have no meaning to her and would add even more burden to the OP

So again, if any of them is suitable for breed rescue I would do that. I would not subject my own dogs to dog agression. (I have a female who is female only agressive and though I would be happy with another female dog, I know it is only males going forward in my home until she dies - you can juggle but there is always the day somebody makes a mistake).

I would not fault you one bit for refusing to bring them into your home situation.


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## Rott-n-GSDs (Jul 7, 2010)

I would certainly attempt to find them homes... maybe a breed rescue will help (some do take in mixed breeds). They wouldn't all necessarily have to be rehomed together, would they?


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## chinamom2 (Sep 16, 2007)

Of your mom's three dogs, the yellow lab mix, provided it looks pretty labbie and its temperment is good, has the best chance of finding a new home. Most lab people adopting don't require the lab to be PB and they know it is easy for a lab to get fat. Honestly, I fostered a 10 yo black lab mix, arthritic and with fatty tumors, sent it to a rescue in Maine and it quickly found a home. A lab rescue may be willing to work with you, especially if you hold onto the dog till they find it a home. 

The other two sound more difficult to find a home for, the younger one due to having heartworms. 

In the end you have to do what is best for your family. Maybe a long talk with your mom to see how she really feels about giving up the dogs.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

Stosh said:


> Since she's unwilling or unable to care for the dogs and you're taking all the responsibility, you get to decide- and it sounds as though that's the best option. Especially after what you've been through, you have to protect your dogs. You're certainly headed for a lot of challenges and putting your dogs in jeopardy is not another one you need to face.


 
i'm in agreement with this. I wouldnt want to risk MY dogs and their time with us because of other dogs who have no training and already knowing i would be the one taking care of them instead of their owner. I wouldnt want that burden placed on me and i certainly wouldnt want to neglect all the work you've put in with your own dogs. Protect your dogs.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

KZoppa said:


> i'm in agreement with this. I wouldnt want to risk MY dogs and their time with us because of other dogs who have no training and already knowing i would be the one taking care of them instead of their owner. I wouldnt want that burden placed on me and i certainly wouldnt want to neglect all the work you've put in with your own dogs. Protect your dogs.


Yes, protect YOUR dogs. I have learned that lesson the hard way and risked my own dogs to rescue another. Don't do it. Just don't do it. It's not worth it, you will never forgive yourself if something happens and you have to euthanize one of your own over the whole situation. 

You have a responsibility towards your own dogs and they should always come first. Trust me, BTDT and I will never risk my dogs life over another dog that is not mine to begin with. Family or not... 

It is a tough situation but you need to do what is right for your dogs, especially since you just got out of a tough situation.
I wanted to get into rescuing dogs and open my home for foster dogs, but it's just not worth it. 

If I was you, I'd try to find them homes. Start looking now. You know when she's going to move in with you. If you can't find homes until she moves in with you, I'd take them to the vet. It's a hard decision but probably for the best. As sad as it sounds.


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## GSDolch (May 15, 2006)

You dont want to dump them in a shelter, but you just want to all out put them down? At least in a shelter they would have some chance and the possibility of getting adopted/sent to rescue/etc. Have you even *tried* to contact a rescue or anyone to take the dogs? It doesnt sound like they are beyond hope..getting them into separate homes, with different people there is a good chance they wont act the same way.

It sounds like a tough situation, sure, and keep in mind im just going off a few posts in one thread, but it sounds like your first option is to kill the dogs, which in my personal opinion, is wrong. Just cause they would not fit in your home, doesn't mean they wont do good, separated and put with people who know what they are doing. It sounds like you want something easy....


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

GSDolch said:


> You dont want to dump them in a shelter, but you just want to all out put them down? At least in a shelter they would have some chance and the possibility of getting adopted/sent to rescue/etc. Have you even *tried* to contact a rescue or anyone to take the dogs? It doesnt sound like they are beyond hope..getting them into separate homes, with different people there is a good chance they wont act the same way.
> 
> It sounds like a tough situation, sure, and keep in mind im just going off a few posts in one thread, but it sounds like your first option is to kill the dogs, which in my personal opinion, is wrong. Just cause they would not fit in your home, doesn't mean they wont do good, separated and put with people who know what they are doing. It sounds like you want something easy....


 
I absolutely don't want something easy. Taking care of my mom is a job in itself. She not only is a diabetic she is also bipolar and if anyone has ever had to deal w/ someone with mental issues you know how hard it is. She will not take care of her own dogs she expects me and my husband to do it. I and my husband are thinking of all options before we decide. This is the reason why I wanted opinions. Yes, I said we will not take them to shelter for a reason. Where I live there are not many options as far as rescues. I refuse to dump a dog at a shelter and have it put to sleep by strangers.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

We know you'll make a decision after much thoughtful consideration for everyone's safety and welfare


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

What comes first for me is my mother. If she had to move in with me, I would find a way for Cujo to come to. It would kill her to lose Cujo to early Euthanasia or the uncertainty of a shelter, or even a rescue. 

But then, while she may not love Cujo the way some of you love your dogs or how I love my dogs, the dog is with her 24/7 and she LOVES that dog. I understand that this is not the case for your mother, and three dogs, all female, would be hard for anyone to place into their home. 

I think you need to work out the solution between your mother and you together, so that she has some feeling of power in this. Starting this dependent situation with a totally powerless major issue could make the whole thing much harder to manage. 

As for the dogs, it depends on the dogs. If a dog has lived with an individual for 10 - 12 years, was ill, or had severe behavioral issues, I think I would go with euthanasia as a kindness then placing them in a shelter for a number of days before they most likely euthanize. If the dog has a shot of being rehomed, then I would probably try a rescue first. 

I agree that you have to think of your own dogs. It is one thing to take a dog into your pack from just anyone who bangs on your door and says, I see you love dogs, here, I am going to have to dump it along side the road if you do not take it. Taking in a dog from an elderly parent or unemployed or diabled family member, that is a little different.


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## Rott-n-GSDs (Jul 7, 2010)

After seeing what just a week's time in a shelter did to Nova... I can understand why the OP would not want to bring a dog there. 

Not all shelters are nice places where dogs find new homes. Sometimes they are understaffed and underfunded. Dogs sit in dark, damp, too small cages for however long the shelter gives them to be adopted, and then are euthanized (if it's a kill shelter) or they simply sit there, losing hope.

*note, this is not how ALL shelters are, of course, but there are a few around here that I wouldn't EVER consider bringing a dog to. I'm guessing that's what the OP is dealing with.


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

And the OP has repeatedly made it clear her mother's interaction with the dogs is limited to going out once a day and feeding them in their pen.

This is not like granny with the matted poodle with rotton dirty teeth and a snappy temperament who sits in her lap all day (except when pooping on the floor)....That would be difficult but is a way different scenario than dogs that are already just *there* 

I truly thinks the OP does want to do what is best for the dogs.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

And dealing with a bi-polar individual is also very hard. 

Again, I would not want to be in your shoes. It is a hard place to be. It is not particularly difficult to manage outdoor dogs. Could you and your husband take care of them as outside dogs until you can find suitable rescues or homes? I think it makes sense to not kid yourself and that you will be doing the work on this. 

I know what people think here about outside dogs. But that is what these dogs know. It is far better than a shelter like that described above. And while there is life there is hope. Living outside temporarily is better than dying in most cases.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

jocoyn said:


> And the OP has repeatedly made it clear her mother's interaction with the dogs is limited to going out once a day and feeding them in their pen.
> 
> This is not like granny with the matted poodle with rotton dirty teeth and a snappy temperament who sits in her lap all day (except when pooping on the floor)....That would be difficult but is a way different scenario than dogs that are already just *there*
> 
> I truly thinks the OP does want to do what is best for the dogs.


Yes, thank you that is exactly what I am dealing with. She loves her dogs, but she goes out to feed them in their fenced in area in the back and then goes back in the house. That is all they get-that's it. They get fed when my mom decides to get out of bed. She sleeps a lot b/c of her medication. Sometimes they aren't fed until 12 or later. When she moves in here she won't feed her dogs until late in the afternoon sometimes even later than that and of course they get no interaction w/ her. It breaks our heart when we are outside w/ ours and hers are being neglected right in front of our eyes.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

I hate to say it, but I was thinking the exact same thing - euthanize them. I'm sure you don't take that lightly. I don't think any of us do. It's one of those situations where someone will always think you are wrong. If you dump the dogs in a shelter - knowing their chances of being adopted are little to none, people will say, "it would have been kinder to have them euthanized - to be there with them at the end, so they don't die alone and scared in a shelter." If you euthanize them, some will say, "You should have taken them to a shelter and at least given them a chance to get adopted." If you take the risk of bringing them into your home and your dogs get hurt or messed up some will say, "You knew that was going to happen. What were you thinking?" Yep - You are between a rock and a hard place.

The sad truth is that there are tons of dogs in shelters, rescues and being rehomed by owners. There are not enough homes for those dogs and they are going to die. There are so many really nice dogs out there. People wanting to adopt are looking for easy dogs - those with good manners and no issues. Rescues can't take every dog. They are going to concentrate on the ones they can find homes for. The old, mixed breed, ill-mannered, dog aggressive dogs just don't have much of a chance. 

At the end of the day, you have to decide what is best for your Mom, your family, your pets, and you. Then - you make the best decision you can for your mother's dogs. Best of luck to you. I know how hard this must be.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

selzer said:


> And dealing with a bi-polar individual is also very hard.
> 
> Again, I would not want to be in your shoes. It is a hard place to be. It is not particularly difficult to manage outdoor dogs. Could you and your husband take care of them as outside dogs until you can find suitable rescues or homes? I think it makes sense to not kid yourself and that you will be doing the work on this.
> 
> I know what people think here about outside dogs. But that is what these dogs know. It is far better than a shelter like that described above. And while there is life there is hope. Living outside temporarily is better than dying in most cases.


 
Well, they are already outside dogs so they are used to that. She never could have them in the house because she would never work on housebreaking them. She is one of those people that would allow they dog to poop and pee on the floor than try to housebreak. We are thinking about adding another division(area) in our yard and trying to see if the lab can work out. She is the friendliest of the three. Any which way about it we will be doing all the work with them.


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## GSDolch (May 15, 2006)

JustMeLeslie said:


> I absolutely don't want something easy. Taking care of my mom is a job in itself. She not only is a diabetic she is also bipolar and if anyone has ever had to deal w/ someone with mental issues you know how hard it is. She will not take care of her own dogs she expects me and my husband to do it. I and my husband are thinking of all options before we decide. This is the reason why I wanted opinions. Yes, I said we will not take them to shelter for a reason. Where I live there are not many options as far as rescues. I refuse to dump a dog at a shelter and have it put to sleep by strangers.



Im not speaking of any issues dealing with your mom in and of itself. I recently took in my 13yr old sister who is dealing with bipolar, sever depression and suicide issues (has attempted twice) so I speak soley of the issue with the dogs as I KNOW how hard it is to deal with mental illnesses, on top of having some myself. I don't blame you for not wanting to bring the dogs into the home.

In my opinion, and I mean no offense, but putting down healthy dogs that could be rehabbed by people who know what they are doing is, IMO, wrong.

Not speaking of you specifically, just going off topic now, but I dont know how many times, I have seen on this board, the same situation, different people and people get all up in arms about people not doing enough for the dogs. Resuces travel, they do legs, you CAN find someplace for these dogs to go, even if its at a shelter where they *might* get put down by stranger, at least they have a better chance than just being taken to be put down. A slim chance is better than no chance IMO.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I would think about making the division a privacy type fence because those dogs will probaby put up a ruckus when you are out doing with your own dogs. 

This is such a sad situation, and truly what shelters are for, not for people who's dog no longer matches their carpet, but for people who are no longer able to care for them due to illness, death, etc. And yet because too many people abuse the whole idea of pet ownership, you cannot use a system the way it is intended. Sad. 

Hope you find a good solution. If you have to euthanize one or all of these dogs, no one has any business giving you a hard time about it.


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## GSDolch (May 15, 2006)

selzer said:


> I would think about making the division a privacy type fence because those dogs will probaby put up a ruckus when you are out doing with your own dogs.
> 
> This is such a sad situation, and truly what shelters are for, not for people who's dog no longer matches their carpet, but for people who are no longer able to care for them due to illness, death, etc. And yet because too many people abuse the whole idea of pet ownership, you cannot use a system the way it is intended. Sad.
> 
> Hope you find a good solution.* If you have to euthanize one or all of these dogs, no one has any business giving you a hard time about it.*



Other than the bolded part I agree, as for the bolded, she wanted opinions, she opened herself up to them, be if what she wanted to hear or not. If she is going to make it so public, then she needs to learn to deal with possibly getting a hard time about it.

Other than that, yes, it is a sad situation and I would hope that putting the dogs down would be a last resort, not a first option (which is how how it sounded in the OP)


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Stevenzachsmom said:


> I hate to say it, but I was thinking the exact same thing - euthanize them. I'm sure you don't take that lightly. I don't think any of us do. It's one of those situations where someone will always think you are wrong. If you dump the dogs in a shelter - knowing their chances of being adopted are little to none, people will say, "it would have been kinder to have them euthanized - to be there with them at the end, so they don't die alone and scared in a shelter." If you euthanize them, some will say, "You should have taken them to a shelter and at least given them a chance to get adopted." If you take the risk of bringing them into your home and your dogs get hurt or messed up some will say, "You knew that was going to happen. What were you thinking?" Yep - You are between a rock and a hard place.
> 
> The sad truth is that there are tons of dogs in shelters, rescues and being rehomed by owners. There are not enough homes for those dogs and they are going to die. There are so many really nice dogs out there. People wanting to adopt are looking for easy dogs - those with good manners and no issues. Rescues can't take every dog. They are going to concentrate on the ones they can find homes for. The old, mixed breed, ill-mannered, dog aggressive dogs just don't have much of a chance.
> 
> At the end of the day, you have to decide what is best for your Mom, your family, your pets, and you. Then - you make the best decision you can for your mother's dogs. Best of luck to you. I know how hard this must be.


 
Yes, you are absolutely correct no matter what we choose there is always gonna be some that would say that the decision was the wrong one. Yes, we are absolutely stuck between a rock and a hard place.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

GSDolch said:


> Im not speaking of any issues dealing with your mom in and of itself. I recently took in my 13yr old sister who is dealing with bipolar, sever depression and suicide issues (has attempted twice) so I speak soley of the issue with the dogs as I KNOW how hard it is to deal with mental illnesses, on top of having some myself. I don't blame you for not wanting to bring the dogs into the home.
> *
> In my opinion, and I mean no offense, but putting down healthy dogs that could be rehabbed by people who know what they are doing is, IMO, wrong.*
> 
> Not speaking of you specifically, just going off topic now, but I dont know how many times, I have seen on this board, the same situation, different people and people get all up in arms about people not doing enough for the dogs. Resuces travel, they do legs, you CAN find someplace for these dogs to go, even if its at a shelter where they *might* get put down by stranger, at least they have a better chance than just being taken to be put down. A slim chance is better than no chance IMO.


I think that people feel this deeply, so deeply that they take in dogs beyond their capacity to care for them. They continue to take in dogs, they continue to try to give all the dogs enough. There are too few people out there willing to work to rehab dogs, and too many people out there that can't say no. 

I think, that some of those people end up with so many dogs that none of them get enough of anything, and then they are terrible people because the dogs suffer.

I think we have to assess what we are able to manage, ie mom, her diabeties, her bi-polar, and what we are not -- mom's dogs. Any other family you can get to help?


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## GSDolch (May 15, 2006)

selzer said:


> I think that people feel this deeply, so deeply that they take in dogs beyond their capacity to care for them. They continue to take in dogs, they continue to try to give all the dogs enough. There are too few people out there willing to work to rehab dogs, and too many people out there that can't say no.
> 
> I think, that some of those people end up with so many dogs that none of them get enough of anything, and then they are terrible people because the dogs suffer.
> 
> I think we have to assess what we are able to manage, ie mom, her diabeties, her bi-polar, and what we are not -- mom's dogs. Any other family you can get to help?



 im not talking about the OP, or people who just take in dog after dog. Just because someone else can handle a dog someone else cant doesnt mean they are taking in more than they can handle. And ive seen plenty of people, on this board, who are willing to rehab. These dogs, may act nothing like they do now in someone elses home. Heck, I read a thread where the OP got into contact with the previous owners of her rescued dog, and the dog, with her, had no problems she had with the previous owner. Heck, it sounds like, again just going from the OP, that the dogs need someone who just know how to handle dogs.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

No, we don't have other family members that can take them. It's just my sister and her two kids(she lives in an apartment) my mom, myself and my husband.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

GSDolch said:


> Other than the bolded part I agree, as for the bolded, she wanted opinions, she opened herself up to them, be if what she wanted to hear or not. If she is going to make it so public, then she needs to learn to deal with possibly getting a hard time about it.
> 
> Other than that, yes, it is a sad situation and I would hope that putting the dogs down would be a last resort, not a first option (which is how how it sounded in the OP)


 
I have no problem with hearing conflicting opinions. I know not everyone is going to agree on all points. 

If I came across in my OP that putting them to sleep was the first option then I am sorry that was unclear. We are trying to decide what to do for her dogs and our dogs. No, putting them all to sleep was not the first solution that we came up with. I am just trying to be realistic about this situation and what I can handle.


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

I am sorry you have to make the decision, it sucks! But if you can not re-home them then I see no choice but to PTS. I do not agree that it is better to dump them in a shelter all scared to die alone. Many shelters will not hold owner turn ins for more than a couple of days and if the dogs show aggression they will be PTS asap!

If you can work 1 dog in then fine but do not upset your dogs to do this. I know how hard it would be for me to interact with my dogs and watch the others go neglected. I could not do it.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

in the end YOU are going to have to either live with them or not..I give you ALOT of credit for what your doing for your mom .

Honestly, I've thought about this and put myself in your shoes what would I do if this were me?? First I wouldn't want them living outside, if I could integrate one into my pack and be "ok" with it, I probably would.

If not, I guess I'd look around to see if anyone would be interested in adopting, rehabbing,,if that didn't work out, I would euthanize. Terrible to say, but if my mom didn't have a big problem with it, then I'd do it.

It will be chaotic enough having my mom live here (if she had the issues your mom has),,have my own dogs and cats to deal with, I wouldn't want more chaos 

Now if my mom truly loved and was adament about keeping the dogs, I'd have to rethink the whole thing, but from what you've posted, it sounds like she'd be ok with you adopting/euthanizing the dogs( 

Sad I know, I'd feel bad, but I would try other alternatives first if i felt that might work..

Tough decision I don't envy you for having to make it, but you have to do what's best for YOU and your situation..Good luck


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## Chicagocanine (Aug 7, 2008)

Would it be possible for you to give it a try first? Bring them in and try to work with them for a while, see if they improve and how things go? Or if your mom does not need to move in with you immediately, could you possibly take in one at a time to work with for a while first?
Or since they are "outside" dogs maybe you can work with one dog at a time on their behavior and getting them house manners while the other two are outside (which it seems is their normal situation)? That way it would not take as much of your time away from your other dogs, and it would be more manageable to work with one dog at a time.


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## clueless (Mar 24, 2011)

I would humanely euthanize them unless there is one that can be integrated to your place for her to have as her own. You need to think of your mother and her lifestyle. If all she does is go out to feed them, not work with them, she'll be better off without them all. It may be easier for her, you and the animals in the long run to just do it. Everyone will have enough to deal with in the new situation without the stress of those dogs. JMHO


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## Zoeys mom (Jan 23, 2010)

I'd rehome them personally. Having to care for an ailing parent is a full time job as it is. You have your own family and dogs to care for and your only one person...it's not fair to beat yourself up over her untrained dogs. Do you not have siblings or friends that want a dog possibly? Place a local ad in the paper or on craigslist and screen the potential new owners. Rescues may be an option too you never know I would at least try to find them a safe place to live before considering euthanasia.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

I think people should re-read the first post. Leslie has had her Mom and the three dogs in her home before. She knows how it went last time - Not well. Two of the mother's dogs are dog aggressive and picked on Leslie's dogs. Since then, Leslie has a new dog - Jamie. Jamie has been a tough case. Go back and read some old threads. Jamie would not respond well to two dog aggressive dogs. Jamie will lose ground. What if Jamie regressed so much that her behavior warranted having her PTS? Is that risk fair to her and to Leslie? 

None of the Mom's dogs are housebroken. Having to housebreak three dogs is time consuming enough in itself. If they don't get housebroken, they stay in the yard. These dogs have little to no human interaction. They get fed and they exist. One dog is HW positive. Do they really have a good quality of life, or is life itself enough? 

Leslie has full responsibility of her Mom. She has her own family and her own dogs to care for. Sure she can take on three more dogs. At what point does Leslie break? And then who takes care of Leslie? Who takes care of anything? Mom gets dumped in a nursing home. The dogs go to a shelter or get PTS and Leslie is in a psycho ward recovering from a nervous breakdown. Sounds like a plan. (But not a good one.) JMO.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

Leslie already stated that she has no other family that can take the dogs. She can post all the ads she wants. Nobody wants older, mixed breed, dog aggressive, un-housebroken dogs. Nor do they want to take on a HW positive dog. People looking for pets are not generally looking for someone else's problem.

I guess Leslie could post them for FREE. Somebody could use them as bait dogs or lab rats. That sounds much better than being humanely euthanized.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Stevenzachsmom said:


> *I think people should re-read the first post. Leslie has had her Mom and the three dogs in her home before. She knows how it went last time - Not well. Two of the mother's dogs are dog aggressive and picked on Leslie's dogs. Since then, Leslie has a new dog - Jamie. Jamie has been a tough case. Go back and read some old threads. Jamie would not respond well to two dog aggressive dogs. Jamie will lose ground. What if Jamie regressed so much that her behavior warranted having her PTS? Is that risk fair to her and to Leslie?*
> 
> None of the Mom's dogs are housebroken. Having to housebreak three dogs is time consuming enough in itself. If they don't get housebroken, they stay in the yard. These dogs have little to no human interaction. They get fed and they exist. One dog is HW positive. Do they really have a good quality of life, or is life itself enough?
> 
> Leslie has full responsibility of her Mom. She has her own family and her own dogs to care for. Sure she can take on three more dogs. At what point does Leslie break? And then who takes care of Leslie? Who takes care of anything? Mom gets dumped in a nursing home. The dogs go to a shelter or get PTS and Leslie is in a psycho ward recovering from a nervous breakdown. Sounds like a plan. (But not a good one.) JMO.


 
This is what terrifies me honestly. We have worked so hard with Jamie. She is our main focus. We are so afraid she will lose her focus or act out behaviorly b/c she will not get all the attention she needs. I asked before for opinions on adding another dog to the family before this thread. Most all of the responses were not until she is 2 or 3 if ever. I really sat down and took this to heart and thought what if with Jamie we never get to add to the family and that is just fine. We just came to the realization here recently that we wouldn't add to the family and then this situation came up with my mom.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

I guess what gets me is that the OP must have seen this coming. She has known the issues with her mother for a long time, she has known the issues with the dogs for a long time. What we can all take away from this trying to pretend a situation doesn't exist (Mom's dogs need help) doesn't make it go away. Preventive measures (not easy of course) would have been easier. The "long run" has arrived and the problem is greater, the solutions not very rosey. Hindsight, of course, is always much better than today's vision. 
I'm not sure what the motive for posting was - hoping the board members would offer a magic bullet? hoping to receive support for euthanizing dogs? using us as a sounding board perhaps to help her reach her own conclusion? 
Bottom line - step in sooner. Rehome dogs, work with dogs, train dogs, get dogs medical treatment before the situation gets like this. If you know you have a relative with problem dogs and you will have to deal with this, give serious consideration before getting a problem dog of your own. I think it is a good thread because it is a wake up call to all of us.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Life sometimes throws crap at us. Usually there are at least a couple of ways to deal with the crap that life throws at us. But when we are in the middle of it, it can be overwhelming and hard to see options. 

I thought Leslie was asking for suggestions. Euthanasia is pretty straightforward an option. Dumping them at a shelter is another. I think people should not feel like they are attacking Leslie by offering other possible options, and just because that option will not work for one reason or another, does not mean the person who offered it did not read the first post or is an idiot or is mean and unmoveable. 

I have had outdoor dogs when I was a kid, and I can guarantee, they were better off than being in a foul shelter. They had good long lives, and I mean that, they had good lives. One lived to be 14, the others I was too young to remember how old they were. 

On the other hand, we are the only ones that truly know our own dogs, and how they will act/respond to certain situations. If there is a dog that need special care/ rehab already in the household, it all has to be taken into consideration.

Sometimes we map out a solution for something, and life crumples our solution all up, and we scramble to form one that covers the new circumstances, and the new solution ends up being even better than the original. 

Good luck with whatever you decide.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

middleofnowhere said:


> I guess what gets me is that the OP must have seen this coming. She has known the issues with her mother for a long time, she has known the issues with the dogs for a long time. What we can all take away from this trying to pretend a situation doesn't exist (Mom's dogs need help) doesn't make it go away. Preventive measures (not easy of course) would have been easier. The "long run" has arrived and the problem is greater, the solutions not very rosey. Hindsight, of course, is always much better than today's vision.
> I'm not sure what the motive for posting was - hoping the board members would offer a magic bullet? hoping to receive support for euthanizing dogs? using us as a sounding board perhaps to help her reach her own conclusion?
> Bottom line - step in sooner. Rehome dogs, work with dogs, train dogs, get dogs medical treatment before the situation gets like this. If you know you have a relative with problem dogs and you will have to deal with this, give serious consideration before getting a problem dog of your own. I think it is a good thread because it is a wake up call to all of us.


But if Mom is independent, how do we "step in sooner"? I mean, you cannot go over to your parent's house and remove her dog. The only thing the OP might have done was prior to getting the current dog that has problems, she might have thought: "Gee, Mom might have to move in with us, and bring her dogs, so maybe I should never get another dog so that when Mom is no longer able to manage for herself, I can have them here."

Now let's all decide we will none of us ever get another dog so that we can take care of our parents and sibling's dogs if that becomes necessary.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Whew. 

Okay. 

1. Mom - are you going to be power of attorney, etc, so you can assist in her medical needs? Because with the diabetes and the bi-polar, there may be better ways to manage so that she's not as unwell as she sounds. She taking her meds, etc? Working with things like diabetes educators, counselors, adult daycare and more that are probably offered FOR FREE or covered by her Medicare/aid right in your county. Because if this is her lifelong quality of life level, something isn't being met and I would highly recommend alternative methods - holistic, acupuncture, chiropractic, reiki, etc. in addition to utilizing the other resources. 

2. Start a list of rescues and shelters in your area. First, get a list of all of them. Then go on their websites and check their policies. Look at whether they do home checks - put those to the top of your list. 

3. Start with the rescues/shelters that have those best policies. Network - do you know anyone who knows anyone with those rescues. Do you know anyone on this board affiliated with rescue in Texas - can they help network? 

4. Get the vet records and GOOD pictures of these dogs. Faces/eyes showing. If they are not up to date on anything, have that done, including HW tests. 

5. This is a sad story. Rescues get sad stories EVERY DAY. I am going to see a little dog today whose "mom" died, to eval and take pictures. Rescues want to respond to all but cannot. Persistence and some kind of connection (either knowing someone who knows someone - or the weird "omg, that looks like my dog from when I was a kid" kind of thing, or having this same situation of a sick parent) makes some stories stick out. The latter two are luck, the first takes a little work. 

6. Start contacting these groups - hopefully someone on this board who is in Texas and who does rescue can help you. Send an initial email with the basics of the situation - do not get into the whole "we will euth" because we are tired of hearing that - we already KNOW that every dog a good rescue does not save, dies. You can let them know you are doing everything in your power to help these dogs and that they can be separated. 

7. Accept offers of courtesy posts - include that in your email - where they will list the dogs on the website. 

8. Offer a donation - euthing a dog and cremating it is a good sum of money, so take that and offer it to rescue if they can foster. 

An above and beyond GREAT STEP would be to have a GOOD trainer - someone who knows behavior and that might be someone from a rescue - come out and eval the dogs, because quite honestly lots of times when rescues get dogs with this or that bad behavior, it goes away with a little love and knowledge of dogs. Separating these three dogs would probably be the first step in accomplishing a major shift in their behavior, along with some one on one time with a person. 

If you can get a local rescue to come out and eval for you that would be huge. But to find someone knowledgeable - that is going to take some doing - because not all people are good at evals and some will take your word for what you are seeing as the end all, and not look for themselves. And that's not a true eval. 

Regardless of situation, these are living things that deserve a chance at a loving home and someone to advocate for them for that.


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

I have four dogs, and I have instructed my son if something were to happen to me that I cannot take care of myself for whatever reason, then my dogs are to be humanely put to sleep. They are getting up in age too and one is on allergy shots, one is dog agressive, etc.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

> *I think people should re-read the first post. Leslie has had her Mom and the three dogs in her home before. She knows how it went last time - Not well. Two of the mother's dogs are dog aggressive and picked on Leslie's dogs. Since then, Leslie has a new dog - Jamie. Jamie has been a tough case. Go back and read some old threads. Jamie would not respond well to two dog aggressive dogs. Jamie will lose ground. What if Jamie regressed so much that her behavior warranted having her PTS? Is that risk fair to her and to Leslie?*





JustMeLeslie said:


> This is what terrifies me honestly. We have worked so hard with Jamie. She is our main focus. We are so afraid she will lose her focus or act out behaviorly b/c she will not get all the attention she needs. I asked before for opinions on adding another dog to the family before this thread. Most all of the responses were not until she is 2 or 3 if ever. I really sat down and took this to heart and thought what if with Jamie we never get to add to the family and that is just fine. We just came to the realization here recently that we wouldn't add to the family and then this situation came up with my mom.


I've been in that place and I did put my dog to sleep over dogs that are/were not mine to begin with. I took in a stray that I found out in the cold and would have never made through the night, a foster from craigslist that I never should have taken in and took onto a dane and made a deal with our now friends so we could get the place we are in now. 

I honestly should have never done that. It put my girl, which was a very tough case as well, into a position that she swinged back into old behaviour. 

It sounds like your dog had the same issues like mine. Don't do it. You will regret it for the rest of your life. I know, I do. 
Every day I question myself and I miss her very much. Never again will I take in another dog that isn't mine while I have to care for mine. Your first responsibility is your own dogs and if you are scared that your dog will suffer from it and face PTS, DON'T DO IT!

If you have the time to look for homes, do that. If not... it's a tough choice to make. But they are NOT your dogs. They should not be your responsibility, even though it's your moms dogs. 

Nobody can expect you to put them into training and go through all the trouble and lengths. 

Do what is best for you, your dogs, your sanity and home and don't let anyone guilt you into a decision that you will regret the rest of your life later down the road.


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## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

Leslie, I am so sorry you have to deal with this sad situation. I agree with your thinking that adding more dogs to your home could end up being a poor decision. But I do think that these dogs deserve a chance at finding new homes. Jean gave you some great tips on how to get started on finding them a new place to live. I wish you all the best in this. I can only imagine how stressful this situation is for you even without factoring the fate of your mother's dogs.


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## Myamom (Oct 10, 2005)

YES!!! EXACTLY what Jean said!! I was just going to post all that myself until I hit Jean's post.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I don't think shelters or rescues are available in the rural area she's in. Not many services for people like her mom, let alone dogs.


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## AuberryShortcake (Mar 9, 2010)

Leslie,
I don't have any advice to offer, this is such a personal choice, and such a hard one. I just thought I'd offer a (((hug))) from someone who's mother is also diabetic, bi-polar, and who I had to grow up taking care of, I know how hard all of this is. It is an overwhelming situation, and I am sending good thoughts and prayers that you will find the solution that is best for your family.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

AuberryShortcake said:


> Leslie,
> I don't have any advice to offer, this is such a personal choice, and such a hard one. I just thought I'd offer a (((hug))) from someone who's mother is also diabetic, bi-polar, and who I had to grow up taking care of, I know how hard all of this is. It is an overwhelming situation, and I am sending good thoughts and prayers that you will find the solution that is best for your family.


 
Thank you so much. It's comforting to know there are others than know how hard just everyday life can be with parents w/ mental and health issues.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Stosh said:


> I don't think shelters or rescues are available in the rural area she's in. Not many services for people like her mom, let alone dogs.


Yes, this is true very limited resources here.


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## martemchik (Nov 23, 2010)

This is really tough, but from the responses you can see who is a cup half full and who is a cup half empty person. I can't say anyone on here is wrong or right. But one person suggested trying this out, 6 dogs, 4 of which have problems, just doesn't sound like a good idea. The shelter route, just think of what the descriptions for these dogs will be and their chances for adoption at that point. They would pretty much need to be outside dogs and live the same life they do now until someone is willing to train them to do otherwise. The trainer suggestion, probably the best one, but pouring hundreds of dollars into dogs that you won't keep is an economic decision that I wouldn't make.

There are definately people that enjoy working and fixing problem dogs, but they are so few and far in between. You can hope to find one, but even those would probably prefer to fix a younger dog that would have more years ahead of it. I wish that the last option wasn't even available, but with as much thinking and planning you are doing it does sound like the best alternative.


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## Myamom (Oct 10, 2005)

It doesn't have to be a local rescue.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Selzer, she has said her mother never had any independence (so that is not a point here), her mother is bi-polar -- and if the person were independent, you could at the very least object to the treatment of the dogs or stronger, step in to see that the dogs get what the dogs need. From what's been posted here she didn't just get a dog herself, she added a dog with problems to her own household.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I guess I read it a little different. I read that her mother's condition is now to the point where they need to move her in with them. That suggests that she was not living with them prior and taking care of herself, somewhat. 

If I were to refer to my mother, I might say she is somewhat dependent as well. Though, being the Queen of Sheba might not be considered dependent so much as needing to have the people around her wait on her hand and foot. But I could not possibly take the upper hand with my mother's dog. I could not step in and take him to classes or to the vet -- not unless she consented. I could suggest and suggest and suggest, and even offer, but I could not DO anything without consent.

My Uncle's X is bi-polar and she lives on her own. She is not in an institution nor is she dependent in someone else's home. Though I am sure there are different extremes of this disease as well. 

So when she said her mother has never been independent, I thought it was more her frame of mind and manipulating those around to do things for her, but living on her own with her dogs. But the mother/daughter relationship was that the roles were somewhat reversed with the daughter being the more independent/responsible and the mother requiring more.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I am not familiar with the adding of the dog with problems from other threads, only what was said here. So I do not know that story. But I would not _know _what adding a dog with issues would be like unless I actually tried it out. How many of those issues were known before she took the dog home. And just because your mother's dogs might need care down the line, we should not put our lives on hold.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

I have three dogs and I haven't added any problem dogs. Jamie isn't a problem dog though. She had anxiety with vehicles from a previous incident when she was a puppy. She was obsessed with Victor maybe that is what is confusing to some. She was very closely bonded to him. She doesn't have behavior issues though.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

My mom lived with us one time before. We had someone else living there at the time and she couldn't maintain her blood sugar(always sneaking sugary candy and snacks) while they lived with her so she moved in with us. She did great at our house and she liked living with us. When they moved out she decided she wanted to give it a try again on her own and went back. Well now she is having trouble again and her health is declining so we want her to move back with us. She is a semi independent person she lives in her own house, but she is constantly lonely and she's very unactive. When she is with us she is more active and her blood sugar is maintained properly. She wants to live with us she has no problems with it. We just have to decide about her dogs b/c they didn't get along before that well and we didn't have Jamie. She also didn't have the younger heartworm positive dog at the time either. She was left there by the previous tenants so we took her in. I can talk to my mom until I am blue in the face about how she should spend more time with her dogs, but she doesn't want to listen.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

leslie, when you come right out and ask her what should you do with the dogs, what does she say about it?? It's a toughie, but I still think you are going to have ALOT on your plate and honestly, I would try and rehome them ..I know I have alot to deal with my own animals (3 dogs, 5 cats),,It's 'peaceful' here, if I had to take my mom in and she had 3 dogs, I just couldn't do it, more stress on top of stress


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

I have been talking to her about it and she is ready to move in with us for sure. She isn't fighting with me about keeping the dogs. She knows how her dogs are and that they don't get along with mine. She is not throwing a big fit about her dogs. It's just deciding what to do with them is the problem because we can't take on three more dogs plus her.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

well in a way that makes things easier, that she isn't throwing a fit about the dogs. Harder for you cause now it's on your shoulders( How about asking your vet if he has any ideas for adopting out/ someone looking to take on a project??


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

JakodaCD OA said:


> well in a way that makes things easier, that she isn't throwing a fit about the dogs. Harder for you cause now it's on your shoulders(* How about asking your vet if he has any ideas for adopting out/ someone looking to take on a project??*


 
I will certainly do that.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I hope you can find a resolution that will be easy on everyone, My mom is elderly and pretty needy, altho I only live 5 minutes from her, she requires alot of attention sometimes it' gets pretty stressful


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

That does make it somewhat easier. It would be devestating to have to rehome or euthanize the dogs and your mom was really attached. I don't know if I could do it. But I know I wouldn't be able to incorporate then into my household. They would have to be outdoor dogs, even for that time it took to find them homes. 

Well good luck. I like the idea of asking the vet. I might even post a picture of one of them in the clinic with a little statement of why the dog needs to be rehomed -- owner very ill, and unable to care for her, needs good home...


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

JakodaCD OA said:


> I hope you can find a resolution that will be easy on everyone, My mom is elderly and pretty needy, altho I only live 5 minutes from her, she requires alot of attention sometimes it' gets pretty stressful


 
Thank you and yes, it certainly does get stressful. We also have to maintain our place and hers too(yardwork,repairs,etc) and it's just too much. We live on 5 acres and it takes a lot to maintain just this place.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

JustMeLeslie said:


> Yes, this is true very limited resources here.


You could PM me your area. Though I am not remotely near Texas, I am good at locating services. I could also look for rescues. 

It would help if some of the Texas people on this board could help network. ETA - are you actually in Texas???

There are always things you can do. What's that saying - the only choice you do not have is not to choose?


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

My mom isn't throwing a fit or anything about her dogs not being able to come here, but she got extremely upset when I asked her about putting them into a rescue or shelter. I tried to explain to her a rescue is no kill ,but she said no. She wants them either here or pts now. She isn't fighting me on my decision of not bringing them to our home, but she is adament now that they not go into rescue and/or shelter. I am gonna give her a few days to think things over and see if she still feels the same about the no rescue/shelter thing then we will decide a course of action. I can't keep trying to ask her about it repeatedly because she will get flustered and then nothing will be achieved. So I will back off for a few days and go from there.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Again, offer stands - PM me and I will start looking for resources. Lots of times when people see the possibilities they begin to understand. 

I am trying hard to understand -


> I tried to explain to her a rescue is no kill ,but she said no. She wants them either here or pts now.


 it is not the no kill aspect - obviously if she wants to put them down - what it is that she is against here? Because that is what you can work on when it is time to pick up the conversation again.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

JeanKBBMMMAAN said:


> Again, offer stands - PM me and I will start looking for resources. Lots of times when people see the possibilities they begin to understand.
> 
> I am trying hard to understand - it is not the no kill aspect - obviously if she wants to put them down - what it is that she is against here? Because that is what you can work on when it is time to pick up the conversation again.


 
Aren't shelters different from a rescue? Shelters pts and rescues don't right? She says that if they are going into a shelter or rescue they will be put down and she doesn't want it to be strangers that do it. She wants to be there with them rather than a shelter. That's what she means. I told her rescue don't pts. I hope I explained that right.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

So basically she is saying if they are gonna be put them down anyway by shelter she wants it to be with her and not strangers. I believe that is what she is saying. That's why I tried to tell her that rescues don't pts.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Right - unless a dog is very ill, or has an unfixable temperament issue, good rescues have the dogs in foster homes and hold them until they are adopted. 

She would be amazed at what people want to adopt too. I was at a meet and greet and there was this little...I don't know what he was - cranky, nasty little dog. I was there with my foster who is quite sweet. Guess who was adopted first? Yep, the nasty actor - the people who adopted him like cranky dogs!

I don't want to get hopes up that you will find a rescue to take them - but it's worth a shot.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I think both rescues and no-kill shelters will PTS if absolutely necessary (illness, people aggression). But I think a rescue that will foster the dog, potty train the dog, bring it inside and make it a part of a family will give the dog the best chance at a forever home.


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## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

With 5 acres, couldn't you find room for a big pen and work with one at a time until adopted, then a second, etc?

I don't have an issue with putting them down if needed (better than dumping in a shelter, etc), but if there is a chance at placement and IF finances to care for them and time to care for them isn't a huge issue, perhaps you could single one at a time out and get them adopted that way. A rescue may be much more willing to help you find homes for them if you're willing to foster them. Since you live in Texas and they are used to being outdoors anyway, they could stay outside with shelter and you could work on housetraining, obedience, etc one at a time...

Just a thought so maybe it doesn't seem so overwhelming.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Rerun said:


> With 5 acres, couldn't you find room for a big pen and work with one at a time until adopted, then a second, etc?
> 
> I don't have an issue with putting them down if needed (better than dumping in a shelter, etc), but if there is a chance at placement and IF finances to care for them and time to care for them isn't a huge issue, perhaps you could single one at a time out and get them adopted that way. A rescue may be much more willing to help you find homes for them if you're willing to foster them. Since you live in Texas and they are used to being outdoors anyway, they could stay outside with shelter and you could work on housetraining, obedience, etc one at a time...
> 
> Just a thought so maybe it doesn't seem so overwhelming.


Well the entire 5 acres isn't fenced off so we can't put them entirely by themselves where they won't be near our dogs. It is heavily wooded outside of our fenced part. Our house sits on a hill and our fence is just around the house. The rest is open and we have coyotes, and all kinds of wildlife around so we can't do that. We can't have them inside the fenced yard even in a pen b/c the shepherd mix is constantly fighting through the fence with our dogs. If our dogs aren't even near to where she can start a fight she barks and barks trying to entice them over to fight. She constantly runs up and down the fence barking and growling even if one of our dogs aren't near her area. The lab is a follower and the shepherd pushes her around all the time and the lab is constantly barking too. The little heeler mix absolutely hates big dogs and she will lunge and jump up and literally attack a large dog. When the smaller one gets in the pen with the two large dogs at mom's house the shepherd and the heeler will gang up on the lab(she's XL). It's a big mess and I mean it when I say these dogs are chaotic.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

How much of an estate does your mom have? If she owns her own home and will be selling it to move in with you there may be some funds available, beyond whatever you think may be necessary to help pay for whatever care she may need.

A friend of my mom's had a bunch of rescued cats, I think there were over 20. She made arrangements with Best Friends in Kanab Utah to take them after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and knew that her kids could not take them. Obviously, they are inundated with requests, but before she became incapacitated she made a trip there with her son to bring her cats and made a large donation to help pay for their care. Although she wanted them to live out their lives there, once she had passed Best Friends adopted some of them out. By now all of them may actually have new homes. Mary lived for awhile after BF took her cats, and she called regularly to check on them. When I visited BF with my mom and sister last May mom found out who Mary had been talking to about her kitties and had a lovely conversation with her - it was actually one of the founders of the sanctuary. She said Mary had become a dear friend, and although she honored Mary's wish while she was alive not to adopt out any of her cats, there had been inquiries about some of them, and once she was gone, they did find great homes for them. 

It's a long shot, but it may be worth looking into.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Cassidy's Mom said:


> How much of an estate does your mom have? If she owns her own home and will be selling it to move in with you there may be some funds available, beyond whatever you think may be necessary to help pay for whatever care she may need.
> 
> A friend of my mom's had a bunch of rescued cats, I think there were over 20. She made arrangements with Best Friends in Kanab Utah to take them after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and knew that her kids could not take them. Obviously, they are inundated with requests, but before she became incapacitated she made a trip there with her son to bring her cats and made a large donation to help pay for their care. Although she wanted them to live out their lives there, once she had passed Best Friends adopted some of them out. By now all of them may actually have new homes. Mary lived for awhile after BF took her cats, and she called regularly to check on them. When I visited BF with my mom and sister last May mom found out who Mary had been talking to about her kitties and had a lovely conversation with her - it was actually one of the founders of the sanctuary. She said Mary had become a dear friend, and although she honored Mary's wish while she was alive not to adopt out any of her cats, there had been inquiries about some of them, and once she was gone, they did find great homes for them.
> 
> It's a long shot, but it may be worth looking into.


She doesn't have an estate. The house she lives in now is ours. The house is becoming too much for us and her to maintain and she is having all the health issues. The house is very old and not in good shape and will cost too much in repairs. Over the years we have paid for all of her furniture and appliances anything she needs. She is disabled so she lives on just a small amount a month to pay her immediate bills.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I would let her settle (mom) down like you said for a few days, and in the meantime take Jean up on her offer, and ask around...Maybe IF you can find a good home for them , foster, rescue whatever, and end up explaining to her the dogs would NOT be put down in that type of situation, it would go over better


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

I'm ready, willing and waiting!


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

That is awesome that you are willing to help. :wub:


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

have a talk with your mom and explain to
her how much you want her there but you
can't take the dogs. the dogs don't deserve
to die because you don't want them. try
your best to find them homes. you have a tough
situation on your hands. think it through and good luck.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

With all of this, I think the best idea I have seen is contacting Best Friends.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I did contact Best Friends once about a dog that belonged to a friend of mine and they were no different than any other rescue, overloaded with requests. They have the same financial issues and liability issues like other rescues (there seems to be a misconception that dog with a bite history can go to Best Friends). They would not survive by taking in all unmanageable dogs from all over the country. If someone is able to make a donation, that would definitely help.

This is difficult situation and I think the rescue option should be tried, although getting them into rescue might be hard. These dogs do deserve a try though. As far as dog aggression goes, they have not yet killed each other, so there may be hope. The overweight lab sounds like the most promising. I would start the young one on Heartgard ASAP. Young dogs can test negative soon after being started on Heartgard if their load is not that high. Poor dogs, they have never been taught a different behavior. A sad situation for everybody.


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## Holmeshx2 (Apr 25, 2010)

I know how it is with family members with mental issues my sister has all sorts of them and you just learn when they start getting worked up they shut down give it a rest then reapproach it differently sometimes it takes time but they get it you just have to catch them on the right day. 

Maybe another way of approaching rescue with her is letting her know shelters can be kill or no kill then rescues don't kill and the dogs live in someones home while they find a permanent home not cages or anything. Also let her know with rescues they take the dog back if anything happens so it's not like the new home would do something bad and no one would ever know. Another thing that might make her more receptive to the idea is if you do let her know that a rescue will only PTS if the dog is in really bad health or seriously aggressive (mainly humans) that maybe whatever rescue you guys find you can put a stipulation in the make her feel better like if for any reason if the dog needs to be PTS you guy are allowed to be the ones to take the dog to have it done?


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

Thank you everyone for all of your help. We are going to all sit down and discuss what all the options are and make a decision. For the sake of our privacy I will not post what our final decision is. I wish not to have anyone think ill of us if their advice/help isn't chosen. I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. There are many different points of view posted here and I take them all seriously. Our final decision will be well thought out so nothing will be rushed into. Thank you all for your time.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

It would be inappropriate for anyone to judge your decision or make hurtful comments during this difficult time. It's apparent that you're given this a lot of thought and consideration. Best wishes


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## CarrieJ (Feb 22, 2011)

A little late perhaps but I just want to lend some support for Leslie. 
My thoughts are with you whatever you decide.

If you need someone to chat with you can PM me, I went through something haunting similar two years ago.


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## Holmeshx2 (Apr 25, 2010)

Leslie, completely respect your rights to privacy and sorry you feel like people will disrespect you and your decision. You opened yourself up to opinions not criticism. We know you are not taking this decision lightly and will do whatever you think is best.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

JustMeLeslie said:


> Thank you everyone for all of your help. We are going to all sit down and discuss what all the options are and make a decision. For the sake of our privacy I will not post what our final decision is. I wish not to have anyone think ill of us if their advice/help isn't chosen. I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. There are many different points of view posted here and I take them all seriously. Our final decision will be well thought out so nothing will be rushed into. Thank you all for your time.


Leslie, that is totally understandable. Don't let anyone guilt you into anything and do what is best for you, your dogs, your family. :hugs:


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I agree, you need to do what's best for you, your family, your situation, and I also agree it would be inappropriate for anyone to judge you or make hurtful comments based on your decision.

Hang in there


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