# I guess I should be thankful



## Sabis mom

Bud is going to be 14 in August. 
When I brought him home at 11 months old I was not thinking of the future, I was just saving his life. 
He isn't what I would call a pet. Companion, guardian, watcher, but not a pet.
His teeth have always been bad, just one of those dogs. A year or so ago we ran a round of antibiotics to kill of the infection he had. It worked but it looks like it's back. He has been getting a bit weak in his back legs, but still loves to bounce around and play. 
Today I was out in the yard with him and he was visibly dragging his one leg after just a few minutes of play, and struggling to stand. So I guess his other one isn't so great either. 
A few weeks ago I noticed what looks suspiciously like a small tumor on his stomach, he has had lumps in a few spots for a while.
I have thought this all through. He is eating, relieving himself, playing and happy. I am not going to do anything. If he makes it through the summer I will put him down in the fall, but there will be no vet visits, no biopsies, no treatments and no drugs. I do have Metacam for him if he needs, but that's it.
I know some of you will disagree, but I feel at this point anything I do would be for me not him. He is mostly deaf and mostly blind as well. I don't know what is wrong with his back legs, and I don't want to.
I think 14 is a grand age, and the way I see it I bought him 13 years he wasn't supposed to get. I love the big moose, he's my guy. We've spent a lot of years rubbing along together, and now I can't image what it's going to be like without that big head knocking me around. 
It was kind of a sad day.


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## dogfaeries

I've been there, and have done what you're doing. I have no regrets. Just enjoy that big guy while you still have him.


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## Sabis mom

I do enjoy him. And it's nice to know other people feel the same. I just feel like at his age, there is no point.


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## llombardo

I would suggest turmeric, it will ease any pain or soreness he might have. It's not mefication but natural. It also has been known to shrink tumors. As long as he is on no other medicine there is nothing to counter act with it.


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## wolfy dog

I completely agree Sabis. At one point I promise them no more vet visits, no more poking, no more nervousness on the way to the vet (avoiding routes along the vet clinic) but just enjoying a good as possible life until it's at its end. Wishing you and him a few more good months together and strength when you need it.


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## Sabis mom

He's a good dog. Always has been. Bit of a jerk, and he's nailed me a couple of times. But he has always been there to watch over us all. He has destroyed countless toys, sent dozens of stuffies to early graves, marked on everything I own and busted several gates. But I love him.
When the guy broke into the house, he destroyed his crate to get out and protect us. When the scary guy was banging on the door he stood rock solid and unflinching in between us and the door for 20 very long minutes until the police arrived. When the junkies kicked in the front door he broke yet another crate. And when Sabi died, he rested his big head in my lap and grieved right along with me. Through a million upheavals and curves, he has been my rock. Never wavering, never changing, just there at my side.
He is the last of his line. He was the end result of a breeding program started and ended by a man who was a friend, boss, mentor and father figure to me. He was a gift to me, a last gift. He was Sabi's best pal, her partner in crime. They were together a long time.
His passing will be the end of an era for me. Bittersweet.


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## newlie

To let those we love so much go when there is no quality of life is our final gift to them. We have all been there, Sabismom and know how much it hurts. I hope you and Bud have some special times during the next few months.


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## Shade

It's never easy having them age  Big hugs to you and 14 years is nothing to sniff at that's for sure


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## Rosy831

Sabis mom said:


> He's a good dog. Always has been. Bit of a jerk, and he's nailed me a couple of times. But he has always been there to watch over us all. He has destroyed countless toys, sent dozens of stuffies to early graves, marked on everything I own and busted several gates. But I love him.
> When the guy broke into the house, he destroyed his crate to get out and protect us. When the scary guy was banging on the door he stood rock solid and unflinching in between us and the door for 20 very long minutes until the police arrived. When the junkies kicked in the front door he broke yet another crate. And when Sabi died, he rested his big head in my lap and grieved right along with me. Through a million upheavals and curves, he has been my rock. Never wavering, never changing, just there at my side.
> He is the last of his line. He was the end result of a breeding program started and ended by a man who was a friend, boss, mentor and father figure to me. He was a gift to me, a last gift. He was Sabi's best pal, her partner in crime. They were together a long time.
> His passing will be the end of an era for me. Bittersweet.



This speaks volumes on your relationship, I teared up reading it. Give your big guy the best summer ever, and give him a hug for me.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

I'm sorry the day you realize the issues they face are mounting and the bounce backs are not leading them back to where they have always been is shocking and so hard. Fourteen years is a wonderful number most don't get too however its never long enough. Enjoy your time. Give Bud a hug from me.


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## dogma13

Sabi,so sad for you.I agree with your decision.No reason to put our companions through **** trying to extend their time with us.Spoil em and make their last years,months,days as happy and comfortable as possible.Hugs for you and Bud.


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## Stonevintage

This is the time we all dread but all we can do is what is best. When my last GSD turned 14 he also had very bad teeth. The vet had me go ahead and put him on baby aspirin and it seemed to help a lot. The vet pretty much let me know that any concern about the baby aspirin was negated because Smoke was in his last few months. He said he could do tests and try different medications but didn't recommend it. He said lets stop the pain and discomfort and your job is to enjoy each week with your pup to its fullest.

With mine - he was fine one day and just couldn't get up the next morning. It appeared that his hip socket had totally collapsed so he was at the vet and pts within a couple of hours. 

Your plan sounds very sound and shows that you are placing what's best for him first. Give your guy a hug for me.:hug:


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## Jenny720

14 years is a beautiful age for any large dog. We are going through the same thing with our cat. He is 19 he has a growth in his tail that was removed and came back. He is to weak and frail to have it removed again. We just check on it and make sure our cat peanut is comfortable and eating and is not in any extreme discomfort. He is staying strong.


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## Sabis mom

When I posted this I expected some backlash. 

Thank you all for the support, he really is a good dog.

Llombardo, I have been reading about Turmeric and I can pick some up but I need to make sure that it is safe with the Metacam in case I need it, and figure out how much to give a 90lb dog. He also gets coconut oil with every meal as that seems to help with some of his issues and I need to make sure that the two won't do anything strange if combined. I can't see why they would, but one never knows.


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## LuvShepherds

No backlash, just love. We lost a grand old man last year and I miss him every day. Enjoy your time with him.


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## Sabis mom

Plan was to let him have this summer.

But .....

Now he can't eat. Gets the runs, tried a bland diet and will try fasting for a day. I suspect a not happy outcome to this. And one of his old man elbow callouses looks to be infected, I am putting polysporin on it daily. He is losing condition and very unsteady.

I am thinking maybe it's time to call the game.:crying:


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## dogma13

Poor old dude.Sabis,so sorry to hear this.


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## dogfaeries

I'm so so sorry. It's never long enough with them, and the downhill slide is heartbreaking.


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## voodoolamb

Very sorry sabi.  give the old man some loving for me.


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## crazyontrt

We were the same with our boy. He was off 2 days before he died of hemangiosarcoma, but was starting to have a rough go with arthritis. It comes down to a quality of life issue, we didn't pursue differential diagnosis's, we just wanted to make sure his pain was managed and enjoyed every second we had with him. It's hard to make the decision to do what's best for your best buddy....but it's what's best for him. Enjoy every second with him while he's doing well. Give him a cuddle and a special treat for me. 14 years is a great age. A lifetime isn't enough when you love your dogs like we do.


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## GatorBytes

How is Bud today?


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## Heartandsoul

I am so sorry the time is near. You and he shared a full life together. 

Aside from some supplements, I also did nothing to prolong our old girls life as she was near 15 yr old. She passed fully knowing that she was/is still loved.

He knows this of you.


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## Dunkirk

I'm so sorry Sabis, I know how it feels, my deepest sympathy, and tears.


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## Sabis mom

Odd that this is good news but Shadow is sick now as well. And both showed improvement today. Either something that was in the yard or a bad batch of food. Yard has been sprayed with bleach, crates, bowls, toys and bedding all cleaned or tossed, food exchanged for a new bag from a different batch.


However, I have done some serious soul searching over the past few days. 
Bud is old. He is showing a lot of back end weakness, wobbling and stumbling. He is a giant ball of infections, his mouth, his elbows, sores on his tummy probably from pee that I can never get to fast enough. His eyesight is almost gone, he is deaf. He shows signs of confusion and is now losing condition. The old dog cysts have come to stay and I still think that thing on his stomach is a tumor. 
This dog is losing quality of life quickly. At this point, unless we make a drastic turn around in the next few days, I am making the appointment for next week.


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## Chip18

I am so sorry to hear this, 14 years ... that's going to be hard. I'm so sorry stay strong.


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## LuvShepherds

I'm sorry. You will know when it's the right time. I always tend to wait and wait until I make a decision. Sometimes it's made for me.


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## GatorBytes

Sabis mom said:


> Odd that this is good news but Shadow is sick now as well. And both showed improvement today. Either something that was in the yard or a bad batch of food. Yard has been sprayed with bleach, crates, bowls, toys and bedding all cleaned or tossed, food exchanged for a new bag from a different batch.
> 
> 
> However, I have done some serious soul searching over the past few days.
> Bud is old. He is showing a lot of back end weakness, wobbling and stumbling. He is a giant ball of infections, his mouth, his elbows, sores on his tummy probably from pee that I can never get to fast enough. His eyesight is almost gone, he is deaf. He shows signs of confusion and is now losing condition. The old dog cysts have come to stay and I still think that thing on his stomach is a tumor.
> This dog is losing quality of life quickly. *At this point, unless we make a drastic turn around in the next few days, I am making the appointment for next week*.



Ugh. :crying:
I am crossing my fingers for the turn around. And although there is no real way to say something enlightening to this, I am thankful that IF Bud has to leave you, that at least he leaves based on the decision of his aging health problems and not the prior circumstance. For you and him.
Feel free to call me tomorrow if you need a shoulder.
Big hug:hugs:


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## newlie

So very sorry, Sabismom, I hope that Bud will do a turnaround and be with you for a while yet. My wish is that he will just go peacefully in his sleep one night and you will be spared making the decision.

If Bud does start to feel a little stronger, I know of a product that might help his elbow. When my yellow Lab, Max, was very elderly, the calluses on his elbows just broke down so that they looked like raw meat. I talked to his vet who told me that there really wasn't much that could be done, it was just one of the things that often happened to dogs as they got older. But I went online and found a product called Canine Angels and sent away for it. When a dog has them on, it kind of looks like they are wearing shorts. It consists of two sleeves which come down over the dog's elbows attached by a strap that goes over their back. I kept them on Max all the time except when I took them off to throw them in the wash and his elbows cleared up completely. The vet was astonished when he saw them.

I think there may be other companies now selling a similar product, but here is the link. You may be talented enough to even make something along those lines, I tried to but was not very successful.

Welcome to Canine Angels, Inc! Slip-on, easy care Elbow Pads for your dog's comfort and protection!


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## Hineni7

Definitely feel for you.. Very sorry you have to go through this.. Hard to watch.. Praying a peaceful passing occurs quickly and mercifully, and that it is easier to bear then expected.. ((hug))


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## Sabis mom

Strange that I am sad but at peace with this decision.

Buddy started dying on October 10, 2013. The day I came home and walked into the yard carrying Sabs collar, alone. I fully expected to lose him within weeks. You see, she was his one true love. I watched the light go out in his eyes. I watched his demeanor change. I watched him grieve as deeply as any person, for months. I could show you pictures of him a few weeks before she died, and a few weeks after. He got old. 
I fought through my own grief and coaxed him into staying with me. I told him I missed her to, that I didn't want to lose another dog just yet. So he has hung on, defending and comforting an owner he never wanted because we both lost so much when Sabi died. 
I want to send him to her. I want him to be happy again. I miss the spark and the attitude. I hate seeing him stumbling around in a daze. 
I brought him home in July of 2003, 11 months old. Sick, hurt, confused and mean as ****. He was supposed to die that day. He has been with me almost exactly 13 years. 

He's been a good dog.


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## voodoolamb

> He's been a good dog.


There are very few things in this world as special and wonderful as a good dog. 

I'm sending you strength sabismom. It's **** hard to be a good owner to a good dog at the end.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Sabi's Mom I am so sorry. It is so hard to know when. I struggled with this decision w/ Lucky but it was a lot like what you and Bud are going through.. Bud's story is pretty remarkable. Sending hugs to both of you. Take care.


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## Susan_GSD_mom

Sabi... I have a harder and harder time responding to threads akin to yours.... I have been there too many times and as I get older, I guess I am getting more and more emotional. I can only describe it as my heart beating exactly with yours during this time you have left with Bud. Please love on him for me, too.

Susan


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## Sabis mom

So for those of you who don't know.

Bud was born on the Morley reserve just outside of Calgary. His mom was a patrol dog there, on one of our sites and one of the young men who worked there desperately wanted a pup.
He helped care for mom and pups and did such a good job that my boss agreed to sell him a pup. Conditions of sale stated that the dog was to be brought in for training classes and that he was to maintain regular contact as well. My boss was a bit edgy about selling a young man a pup, but the kid readily agreed.
Of course, contracts get broken all the time. He disappeared with the pup. At first we got stall tactics, my car is broken, I have a family emergency, etc. Then all contact stopped, the kid stopped coming to work and the pup disappeared. 
We did see him once at about 6 months old, he wasn't in good shape and he was shy and somewhat unmanageable. My boss tried to ensure the pup would be ok, had a sit down with the kid and went over the conditions. Against his better judgement, he let them walk out. 
We spent the next several months looking for the dog and eventually gave up hope of finding him. Dogs die and disappear out there all the time. It was pure dumb luck that we found him at all. 
How he survived is unknown, but basically he went home at 8 weeks or so to live on a chain, unprotected from the elements or from loose dogs. If he made noise they threw things at him or soaked him with the hose. He was attacked by other dogs, starved, beaten and neglected. He was standing in his own excrement and the chain had twisted to about 3 feet in length. 
He had been run over with a quad and had an injured leg as a result, a subsequent vet exam/xray found a shell lodged against his ribs. 
He was brought into our kennel and the boss gave orders to our then ops manager to take him in to be euthanized first thing in the morning. He believed the dog had suffered enough. It was my turn to check the kennels that night. Everyone else saw a raging mean, sick, injured dog. I saw a terrified, hurt puppy. I told our manager to do nothing, stall for time until he heard from me. I spent a 2 hour breakfast begging for his life, and making deals that put everything on the line for me. I was given 2 weeks to prove that the dog could be healed and trained, or I would put him down myself. And give up my position. 
His name was Demon, and he was working hard to live up to it. He raged and attacked, he hid, he was completely unmanageable. I spent hours sitting outside his crate, talking and tossing treats, for days. I got a leash on him and we started walking to strengthen his injured leg muscles. I seemed to be able to talk him down, but anyone else was in trouble if he started raging. He climbed onto the garage roof and tried to jump down at my husband. Against all odds I made our 2 week deadline with a dog who would heel and sit and had barely a trace of a limp. 
Shortly thereafter, my boss decided I should keep Bud, as a future patrol dog and possible stud. The deal was that the dog was his but would stay in my care, down the road the papers would be transferred to me. I didn't known until a while later that he had been diagnosed with ALS. He passed away before the papers were transferred. Bud stayed with me, and the rest is history.


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## dogma13

That's an amazing story.You two were meant to be together.


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## dogfaeries

My heart just breaks for you. I can't even read this right now, but I will sometime down the road. I've been missing my Sage so much lately that I just can't. Way too emotional. But I am thinking of you.


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## Jenny720

You story is leaving me in tears. What an amazing journey together. He will let you know when his time to leave has come.


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## Sabis mom

Susan_GSD_mom said:


> Sabi... I have a harder and harder time responding to threads akin to yours.... I have been there too many times and as I get older, I guess I am getting more and more emotional. I can only describe it as my heart beating exactly with yours during this time you have left with Bud. Please love on him for me, too.
> 
> Susan


I have a hard time writing them. At this point I am surrounded by small wooden boxes with brass nameplates:frown2:


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## middleofnowhere

Sabis, You just ain't catchin' a whole lotta breaks! Hydroelectric Facility. 

Although they speak of a hard ordeal, your posts about Bud - eloquently touching. 

It's a hard time, those last years. 

I relate to much of your situation. "His passing will be the end of an era for me. Bittersweet." In particular, I find that dog's lives mark eras in mine as well. 

http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/senior-dog/631553-i-guess-i-should-thankful.html#


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## Sabis mom

middleofnowhere said:


> Sabis, You just ain't catchin' a whole lotta breaks! Hydroelectric Facility.
> 
> Although they speak of a hard ordeal, your posts about Bud - eloquently touching.
> 
> It's a hard time, those last years.
> 
> I relate to much of your situation. "His passing will be the end of an era for me. Bittersweet." In particular, I find that dog's lives mark eras in mine as well.


My mother could tell you that when I was 6 I told her I needed to speak for the animals because they couldn't use their words. 

In general, I think that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.


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## Sabis mom

Last minute stay of execution!

Bud has rallied over the last few days. And although I understand that he is old and the end is inevitable, after running around playing some of his version of fetch, I cancelled the appointment. 
His eyes are clearer, he still isn't eating much but Shadow is in heat so that isn't really concerning, he is drinking, playing and moving well for an old boy. His coat isn't so dull and he seems more aware. 
I may only have a week or a month, but I'll take it!


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## GatorBytes

That is great news. Bud is channeling "steak" for his 14th birthday:wink2:...are you picking up on that vibe, lol


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## Traveler's Mom

Gosh, and I thought I picked up that Bud wanted the big beefy rib bone to gnaw on for hours of fun:surprise::laugh2:
Lynn & Traveler


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Sabis mom said:


> Last minute stay of execution!
> 
> Bud has rallied over the last few days. And although I understand that he is old and the end is inevitable, after running around playing some of his version of fetch, I cancelled the appointment.
> His eyes are clearer, he still isn't eating much but Shadow is in heat so that isn't really concerning, he is drinking, playing and moving well for an old boy. His coat isn't so dull and he seems more aware.
> I may only have a week or a month, but I'll take it!



So glad your boy rallied. I learned w/ Lucky that ups and downs were really the norm. Sometimes I would go to the vet and say lets seta n apt only to have him rally in a day or two. Glad Bud is doing so much better. BTW I'm betting Buds version of fetch is a lot like Charlie's. Enjoy your steak Bud!


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## kelbonc

Perhaps surf and turf for his 14th celebration!! :grin2: Glad you have more time together!!


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## Sabis mom

If he makes it to his 14th birthday he gets a steak. He hasn't got many teeth left so the ribs might be a bit tricky:smile2: I'm sure he'd give it a go though.

For the record, Buds version of fetch involves I throw it, he grabs it and runs around the yard teasing me with it, then kills it and struts around like he just conquered an invading army. I keep baskets full of toys handy at all times, the cheaper the better. We used to call him the Destroyer.


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## newlie

So glad Bud is feeling better and you were given the gift of a little more time!! Hope he makes it to his 14TH!


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Sabis mom said:


> For the record, Buds version of fetch involves I throw it, he grabs it and runs around the yard teasing me with it, then kills it and struts around like he just conquered an invading army. I keep baskets full of toys handy at all times, the cheaper the better. We used to call him the Destroyer.



Yep that's Charlie's version too!


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## middleofnowhere

Nice recovery, Bud! Maybe she can have that steak ground for you?


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## Jenny720

So happy to hear he is doing so well!


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## Sabis mom

There were a significant number out of his line that made it to 15, 16 years, as well as one that made 18 and a couple at 17. I am not that optimistic but I will be thrilled with 14. He only has to make it a bit further, we're almost there.


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## myshepharley

Please enjoy every single minute you have with him. After losing my boy who was only 9, 3 weeks ago without any warning, I was numb for days. I feel guilt because I think now, I should of done this with him or done that with him. But I had no idea that night going to the vet would be our last car ride. Love him, hug him, spoil him, do all his favorite things. And please give him a huge hug for me.


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## Sabis mom

6/21/16 9am.

It's over. He can't wait for his birthday. Steak for dinner anyway, he's earned it.


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## dogfaeries

Big hugs for you both.


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## dogma13

Hugs and kind thoughts for you


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## Heartandsoul

I think everyday that he spent with you was a day of rebirth. My thoughts are with you both.


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## Springbrz

Hugs...


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## Susan_GSD_mom

Sabis mom said:


> 6/21/16 9am.
> 
> It's over. He can't wait for his birthday. Steak for dinner anyway, he's earned it.


Nothing seems adequate here... No emoticon, no words.... I guess I can only say that I know your heart is a mirror reflecting the sorrow and pain so many of us have experienced. Love on him and hug him, for us as well as yourself. Love to you, you are a brave, courageous, strong woman.

Susan


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## GatorBytes

You've done right by Bud. 14 Yrs he had the light of every day he spent because of you. He will shine through even though at this time it seems dark.
Peace and love little Buddy.


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## Sabis mom

GatorBytes said:


> You've done right by Bud. 14 Yrs he had the light of every day he spent because of you. He will shine through even though at this time it seems dark.
> Peace and love little Buddy.


Do you know why his name is Buddy?

When I brought him home he was raging and hurt. His call name was Demon, taken from his registered name. I hated it, and he was working hard to live up to it. I forbid anyone using it. For 3 days he had no name, but I would approach his crate every time with a gentle, soft 'hey there buddy boy'. Unable to come up with a name that suited him, it just stuck.
And oddly, it's perfect.
I will text you tomorrow.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Sabi's Mom I know how hard this is. sending hugs ,thoughts and prayers to you and Bud.


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## Sabis mom

It took a few days for me to post this.
He just had to be one of those dogs that went down hard. He fought like a demon. The vet said she would remember him forever.
Not how I wanted that to go, but I half expected it.
I should have his ashes back any day now.

Bye Bud. Be a good boy until momma gets there. Give Sabs a kiss for me.


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## dogma13

RIP Bud.You are loved and missed beautiful boy.


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## MoxyPup

I am so sorry for your loss. The story of Bud's life was an amazing one. We should all be so lucky as to have a companion like him in our lives. And every dog deserves for someone to love them just as you loved Buddy.


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## Springbrz

A fighter until the end. Loved to the end and beyond. RIP Buddy Boy!


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## Jenny720

It is really hard when they don't want to leave. Enjoy being whole again Buddy.


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## kelbonc

I am so sorry. Thanks for sharing the story of Buddy. You shared a very special bond. Hugs. Run free Buddy boy.


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