# RIP - Rambo - 9yrs - never felt so alone and empty in my life



## Johal (Aug 3, 2020)

Words can’t describe the pain and empty feeling in my chest right now. Lost my dog unexpectedly yesterday. Rambo was the best dog a man could ask for.
I woke up just like any other day and gave him some water. He was playful and happy as usual. When I let him out to the washroom, he didn’t return to the door as he usually does. So I went to check on him and noticed he was sitting on our grass just staring at the view in our backyard over the lake. I called him inside and he walked towards me, I noticed he was sort of stumbling and had trouble with coordination. Immediately I had this feeling of dread that came over me I can’t describe. I just knew something was horribly wrong when looking Rambo in the eyes. He wasn’t listening to my commands as much and just looked out of it. His entire personality changed in a flash from how he was acting a few minutes ago prior to letting him out. As soon as he walked back inside he laid down on his side on the floor. He was breathing heavier than usual. . I touched his nose to check the temperature and it was cold as ice. I’ve never felt his nose that cold before.
I knew something was wrong because I would call his name and he was just staring off into the distance breathing quick and heavy. I had to get him upstairs but he was much too heavy to carry ..So I raised my voice a bit and tried one last time to see if he’d listen to me and he did. He used all his energy to get up and follow me upstairs to my parents room so I could inform them of what was going on.
When he got upstairs he laid down next to my parents bedside. We all tried to get him back into his normal spirits but it became clear something was horribly wrong with him. I just laid on the floor next to him on my side so I could make eye contact. Because usually when I called his name he’d lift his head and look at me. Instead he was staring off into the distance. When I got on the floor and stared into his eyes. There was a sliver of him in there but I could see it in his eyes. He was going. My dad then said we can either let nature take its course or take him in our car to the vet immediately to see if they can help. I thought about it for a second, thinking maybe there was a chance the vet could help him and agreed.
When trying to get Rambo in the car to the vet it was a difficult task. I called his name and he used every last ounce of energy in his body to walk to the door. He sat and shook my hand one last time, as I kneeled down and looked him in the eyes. Told him I loved him and he was a good boy. I put his leash on and he walked to the car. Our truck is getting services so we only had our small car at home. He had to sit in the front seat due to it being a sports car. I sat behind him and rolled his window down so he could look outside. He couldn’t support himself to sit up and look out the window. I had to help lift his head and put it on the ledge. He was still alive and breathing but had no power left at this point. He used his weight to keep his chin up there on the ledge and look out the window as my dad drove us 2 min down the road to our vet. It would slip and fall at times and I would lift it back up.
When we arrived at the vet Rambo managed to walk to the front door. But due to COVID 19 we could not enter and had to wait for them to come out. Rambo could not sit up and wait due to lack of energy so he just laid down on his side. The doctors came out fast, we waited less than 2min. They asked my dad and I to lift him onto the rolling table they brought outside. We loaded him on there and were advised we had to wait in the lobby while they take him in the back. They advise us they would do an X-ray and blood test. Also give him oxygen.
We waited in the lobby of the vet for an answer. This was the longest 15 min wait of my life. A different person came in and directed us into the doctors room and told us he’d be with us. The doctor came in right away maybe a minute later. He immediately said “he’s passed” and explained he went into cardiac arrest when they gave him oxygen and failed to resuscitate. He said the cause of this was a heart problem.
I can’t describe how I feel right now. Rambo was my only true friend left on this Earth. He was so intelligent and at times felt like another human was in there. He would stare deep in your eyes into your soul. I had a connection with him that Ive never had with any dog. Nothing but love inside. These are such dark cold times already in our world in 2020 and this was like a knife through the heart to finish me off. I have a feeling in the center of my chest that feels so empty and hollow right now. The world really feels different now. The last sliver of happiness in my life is gone. Had so many plans and trips I wanted to take with Rambo, but we are all slaves to the dollar working each day. You can never have enough time to do everything you want with the ones you love. Always think you could and should have done more.
This entire experience yesterday does not even feel real. It all happened so quickly. One minute I had a playful dog with me and seconds later he changed. My biggest regret is taking him to the vet to begin with. I wish I let him pass in our backyard while I could see him and look him in the eyes. I knew it was his time but Instead I chose to bring him to the vet and he died on a cold table surrounded by machines and doctors. My mom said, it was the right decision as I would have always questioned if the doctor could have saved him or not. I don’t know if I feel that way. I knew it was his time, I just wish I was the last thing he saw and the lake in our backyard and not a cold room.
I feel so alone and cold right now I can’t describe it. I don’t even know why I’m writing this....feel like I need someone to talk to I guess. This taught me some valuable lessons though. Don’t take anything for granted in life because it’s so fragile. Your loved ones can be gone in a split second with no warning. Appreciate and cherish every second you have on this Earth with them.

If anyone here has had similar experiences, I have some questions racing around my head:

Does anyone here on the Germanshepards.com forum have any experience with heart problems with GSD?
What were some signs and symptoms you noticed prior to your GSD having heart failure?
Is there anything I could have done to prevent this? 
Do you think the vet putting him on oxygen contributed to his heart attack when he got there?


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## Miika's Mom (Sep 23, 2013)

No good answers for you. You did what you thought best at that moment. He would never hold it against you. 

So sorry for your loss. 🥺

Remember that he awaits your arrival on the other side of the rainbow bridge.


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## Springbrz (Aug 13, 2013)

I am very sorry for your loss of your best friend Rambo. You are grieving and it's normal to second guess your decisions when your emotions are so strong and raw. The things is your mom is right. You be wondering if the vet could have saved Rambo if you hadn't gone to the vet. 
Your story says it all. You looked into his eyes and told him you loved him and he could let go. He gave you his paw and acknowledged your words to him. He knew you loved him and you were just doing the best for him.
I'm sorry you didn't get to be with him at the very last moment. That is hard for sure. Be grateful he didn't suffer and that up until just a short time before he passed he was happy and playful. He had a good life with you by the lake. 
There is no blame to be had. I doubt there was anything you or the vet could have done differently that would have changed the outcome. It was his time. 
Be kind to yourself.


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## Heartandsoul (Jan 5, 2012)

I have not experienced such a sudden death, but other members in the past have from an undiscovered heart issue or hemangio and it was exactly as yours, very sudden. Some as you, were on the way to or got to the vet when their dog passed and others, the dog passed at home.

Reading your post was hard and if there aren’t any active members that have had your experience, I wanted you to know that you aren’t alone with it. 

I think your boy knew you were doing all you could and that’s why he did all he could to help you try to help him. Our breed is like that, all for their beloved friend.

Trust you boy, There is no need to question yourself. 

RIP Rambo for a little while, then run free like the wind.


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

There is a type of heart arrhythmia that's common in certain lines of German shepherds, mostly the American show lines. One day, the dog just drops dead for no apparent reason. It can ONLY be diagnosed by a Holter monitor test done before the dog is a year old. It's called IVA - Inherited ventricular arrhythmia. 

There are many other types of heart issues present in the GSD - some can be detected easily, some cannot. What I'm trying to say is this is no-one's fault. It's likely something your dog was born with, and there's likely nothing that could have been done to prevent this. 

I am very sorry for your loss.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

I'm so sorry to read your story, most have s have been there at one time or another; putting a friend down or losing one unexpectedly. As a kid I had a severely displastic dog that had to put put down at 6 months; truly heartbreaking but not on par with suddenly losing a best friend with a bond built over years.

But whether you agree right now or not, this too shall pass. You gave your dog a great life, he'll never forget you and you can offer that same great life to another dog or three. It's amazing how a little 8 week old dog can heal the hole in your heart so quickly. Posting a few pics here might be therapeutic as well.

You'll never forget Rambo either.


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

I’m so sorry for your loss. It was not your fault and likely there’s as nothing you could have done to save him. My last dog passed suddenly from bloat, but had we gotten him to the vet instantly, they still could not have saved him. There is nothing worse for us than losing a dog suddenly, but it may be better for them to go out after a good playtime and normal activity than lingering in pain.


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## ChickiefromTN (Jun 16, 2020)

I'm so sorry! I went through a similar loss of my boy Ghillie last year the week before Christmas. It was 10 days before he would have been 2 years old. About 6:30 that night Ghillie wanted to go out to potty. I took him down the drive and he was his usual goofy self, marked all his usual things. As we headed back to the house my husband came out. I took Ghillie in and hooked Bailey on her leash for her turn. When I closed the door I heard a thud. I opened the door back up to see Ghillie laying on the floor by the couch. The tone of my voice when I said "Ghillie!" Was enough to make my husband be back inside in seconds. I pulled Bailey away as my husband started CPR. Bailey was going crazy trying to get to him and I had to take her in the other room while my husband tried to bring Ghillie back. Just like that he was gone. We let Bailey come back in to see him as we all sat there and tried to make sense out of what had just happened. It was like God just flipped a switch and shut him off.

I know frequently when a pet is lost way too soon or so suddenly you start second guessing and "what if'ing" but in our case he was his normal silly self one minute and in the blink of an eye he was gone. While the loss and grief never completely go away, the happy memories do eventually start coming to mind more than the sorrow. That grief you will carry with you is always a small price for the joy they brought to your life. Just know you did the right thing.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I know the ache and pain of losing a good dog. That pain is unbearable for a good amount of time. When my WD died at only 1.5 years old I wished I could go with him. I was completely numb and mentally paralyzed for three weeks. It got better after that but never fully as well as the others that I had to say goodbye to. Some live long, other die too young. Grieve and heal but take your time. I am sure everyone here knows this pain.


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## crittersitter (Mar 31, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rambo sounds like he was a wonderful dog. Hugs to you.


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

I’m so sorry you lost Rambo. I just lost Hunter a few weeks ago and still feel that awful pain inside. Hunter had DCM and it was only by pure chance we diagnosed it early. Even then we expected he’d pass of a heart attack but it was GDV that took him. If Rambo had DCM there is no cure. There is nothing you did wrong or could have changed. You did everything you could have possibly done. I hope you can be at peace with yourself even if still grieving. Big hugs.


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## WIBackpacker (Jan 9, 2014)

I’m so sorry. Take some small comfort knowing that there are many of us here who’ve had our hearts broken when our dogs left us, and we feel for you.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

your mom is right. You would have wondered if you could have done more. I had one dog who died in the soft grass in the sun in the back yard. I thought, "that is the way we should all go". I had another that would not give up but was hurting. We took her to the vet and were with her when they gave her the final shot. It was the right thing to do but part of me wanted to say "I changed my mind! I want my girl back". Crazy but it took awhile for those thoughts to pass. 
The two I have now are 4 and 6. I know we will be saying good bye someday. It will be terrible! But in time it will be part of our history and a little less painful. Give yourself time to grieve, cry over the memories, sob over the ones you planned to make but have been cheated out of, and remember it is a lesson to enjoy each day that you have in some way.


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## Squidwardp (Oct 15, 2019)

Very sorry for your loss. My wife and I and even our grown children lived through losing a beloved dog to hemangiosarcoma, which tends to strike suddenly out of nowhere.
So I understand it, and empathize. 

But this is about you and your dog. I would not second guess your taking them to get medical care. That was the right thing to do in that moment. 

You won't feel like doing it right away, but when the time is right, consider letting another dog into your life. That's likely the only thing that ever heals the hurt a little, though you aren't replacing the one that was lost.


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## Johal (Aug 3, 2020)

Thank you so much for replying to me everyone. It really means a lot. I still cant stop replaying the final 30 min of Rambos life over and over in my head. Wondering if I had kept him home maybe he would still be here for a little while longer.

All I know for sure is I had never seen him act like that before. The way he was laying down on his side and not responding to me. Even when I got his leash to take him outside to the vet he didn't move at all. Normally when I grab the leash he went crazy. In a fraction of a second his entire demeanor changed. I had to practically yell and then he got up, I hooked the leash on and he walked so slowly to the car. If his heart was indeed failing then, it must have taken every ounce of energy for him to walk to the car.

I guess its still somewhat unreal for me because it all happened so quickly. I learned to appreciate every second with the ones you love. I wish I had said good bye to him once more before leaving him in the emergency room. ...Tell him things would be ok and I love em.. It feels like a knife inside my heart I cant pull out.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Johal said:


> Wondering if I had kept him home maybe he would still be here for a little while longer.


No.
No he wouldn't.
Forgive yourself, you did absolutely nothing wrong.


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## Crailey (Apr 1, 2021)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your story was exactly what happened to our Ziegen yesterday. He would have been 9 July 7th. It happened so suddenly. The only thing different is that there was no lake in our backyard... 😢 And that I was luckily able to go back with him and hold him as he passed along with my wife. I have been clenching his collar for the last 24 hours and miss him dearly. There was absolutely no warning. I came home at lunch and he greeted me, but was about 10 feet farther than normal. His spot on the couch was warm, so I know he used alot of energy to get up when he heard me pull up. He just wanted to lay on his side. I laid with him and told him he was a good boy and I loved him so much. It wasn't his time, but I could sense he was passing. We did everything to help him. He fainted and his heart stopped after we agreed to take him home and start antibiotics and steroids. Went outside one last time and then decided to have him stay overnight and receive an IV. After going back in and putting him on the table, he took a few last breaths. We talked to him and gave him love the whole time... I can't wait to see my little man again.


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