# URGENT! Riley is not doing well in new home-please



## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

I need other rescuers to chime in here. I am a total mess. Riley, the WGSD Female that I pulled from a high kill shelter a few months ago has made amazing progress. I have worked with her every day and she is adoptable. No aggression issues, everything has been going well.

SO, I did a home visit, vet references, etc on this man who wanted to adopt her. He is exp with GSDs, and lost his last year. He was fantastic! So, as hard as it was and as much as I have grieved since Sat. I took her last night to him. I tried to be in and out. She had been there on Saturday and did great. But, I was there.

He called me this morning. She is pacing and crying and scratching the door. Everytime he takes her out for a walk she walks over to where I had parked and whines.

I wanted to keep her anyway- but she needs some one on one and I have 5 others at home. I don't know what to do. I know that I am devastated, but I thought she would be ok. I knwo it is too soon to give up. I always tell adopters that the first 48 hours are the toughest. He said he can't work or do anything as she is scratching the door constantly. I had asked him to get a crate before we came, but he DID NOT. So, I am having someone drive all the way over there with her crate now.

I figured it was a terrible idea for me to try to take it. Right?

WHat can I do? Please help me! And RIley


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## Prinzsalpha (Jul 6, 2005)

We had something similar happen to us a short time ago. The foster person had multiple dogs and lots of activity at their home. When we placed her in a home with no other dogs and quiet home she did not do well. Whining, barking, upset that the police were called. We took her back and made sure to place her in a more active family. Even crating did not help.


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## Lauri & The Gang (Jun 28, 2001)

It's only been a couple days.

I would tell him to NOT feed her dinner tonight and then make a huge ordeal of feeding her in the morning.

Tell him to take her out someplace fun - like a pet store or the forest preserve for a walk.

She needs to be distracted about the change and HE needs to show her he's just as much (if not more) fun to be with.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

She and I had a really special bond. But everyone kept telling me that she needed a quiter home.....on her other thread.

http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/ubb...true#Post992433

So, what is the deal? I have turned down a total of 7 applications on her. I thought he was the one. I am so heartbroken.


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## weber1b (Nov 30, 2008)

I am not an experienced rescuer but our first GSD was a rescue. She paced almost constantly for the first couple of days and was not fully comfortable for two weeks. She gradually felt at ease and everything has been great. She may just need a little more time. The crate was important though, and although I did not want to buy one, it was absolutley the right thing to do. I now would never go without one in intriducing a new dog.


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## Lauri & The Gang (Jun 28, 2001)

Give her more time!

If, in a couple days, she still hasn't adjusted then maybe you could send him something from your place - a toy or something - that she will recognize (with her eyes AND nose).

Tell the adopter that he HAS to give her time to adjust and using the crate will give her that time without damaging his house.


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## JakesDogs (Jun 4, 2008)

This situation is not a reflection on your efforts to help Riley. This adopter may very well be the one, but Riley has to make that decision. Your role as matchmaker only works to a certain point. You are doing your very best in trying to find the right place but what you cannot factor in is what happened to Riley before. I do know how difficult it is to watch a dog grieve when a bond is broken. It can be downright heartbreaking.

This is a dilemma anyone who reaches out to a dog whose history is unknown may face. In their effort to please, dogs coming from bad to good can form a very tough-to-break attachment with the first responder. I've seen and experienced it. It turned out I could not give up the dog even though it was tough going for a while. 

If you are absolutely positive you cannot keep Riley given present circumstances, you've got to keep the faith and keep working at it. Your adopter needs to know that Riley has the potential to form just as serious a bond with him, but it may take time. If he cannot wait it out for any reason, I'd start over again.


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## ThreeDogs (Mar 16, 2007)

I agree, you need to give her some time. She will adjust, and her adopter needs to understand that.

It is much too soon to pull her back into your home. If he can be patient with her for a few days I am sure she will settle. He needs to be calm with her and I absolutely agree with taking her for walks.

You obviously love her and want what is best, so take a breath and give this a chance to work.

I have found that the dogs who make you work for their love are the ones that stay in your heart forever.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

One of my fosters bolted the adoptive home only two hours after I left him there. He took off after my car and tracked it for a while. He gave all of us a heart attack. Luckily somone saw him running in the rain in the cornfields with a Christmas bandana, freshly groomed and smelling like a rose, and took him home. We spent the night and the morning looking for him in the rain and snow. Next day the person who found him too him to Animal Control. Luckily the family did not give up on him and now he is as bonded with them as he was with me. It does take a couple of days with some dogs.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

This may help your adopter:
http://www.brightstargsd.org/mainpages/adviseforowners.html 

I had a foster, and the feeling was also mutual like yours, that was actually kind of a not nice girl when adopted. She growled at her new grandmother, ripped up her bedding, and made it known that they were not her people. They were great adopters and just waited her out, and she and I were allowed to see each other after a few months.







It was hard! But I knew she'd adjust and had a great and patient couple. 

My own Bella, ha! She did not like me at all! When I would get home she would look at me like...oh...you're back. She was very bonded to her foster and had I not had Kramer I am sure it would have taken even longer for her to bond with me. I just didn't care about the time thing because that's not my bag, man.









So yeah, this can happen big time with these special dogs. IF he realizes how special she is and how she will be so incredibly loyal to him someday he totally deserves her.


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## Myamom (Oct 10, 2005)

Mya came to me from NJ. So...she was transported half way...spent the night at a rescuer's house...who then transported her the rest of the way the next day. Geez...she was glued to my door crying for hours after the girl left. Pacing...crying...

Was I that scarey?









Give it time....


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

Thanks very much to all of you. I had my Uncle take HER crate and also the pillows that were her dog bed. I was not sure if it would help or set her back.

I explained to the adopter at length about the adjustment phase, not eating, possible severe anxiety since I was her person and she thought she was home at our house. We talked about all this while Riley and I were at his house for 2 hours on Saturday. I do also have a 2 week trial period.....

WIth that said, Riley knew something was up all day yesterday. I took her to the vet at 2pm for a re-check of her spay incision and she was velcroed to me for the rest of the day. I finally just took her back to work with me. My boss would have died if I brought her in, so she stayed in the suburban and I parked right in front of the office where I could watch her out the window. She did great.

But, when we got home, she would not get out.....I knew she had to potty, so I got her to come to me then she went straight to the front door and sat and waited on me. I had to get a leash on her and walk her.

Then, as soon as she pottied, my son was grabbing something out of the suburban and back in she went. It was very obvious she knew. And she did not want to be away from me. I finally got her to get out again and she even went into the bathroom with me. She normally doesn't do that. All my others do, but she hates the tile, so she just sits at the door.

Then, when we were leaving, she climbed over the seat and got in the backseat. THEN, she crawled into the front seat! She wanted in my lap. I tried so hard not to cry, but I bawled for an hour to his house. I'm sure that didn't help her.

I just hope she is okay. My heart is broken having to say goodbye, but I don't want hers to be. I want her to have a person that she doesn't have to share. I just checked on her and she FINALLY went to sleep on her new dad's bed......worn out from last night, I'm sure.

I will send him the link Lauri provided and see if that helps.

Thanks for all your support. Now, if only I could get a grip. I truly have not grieved like this since my heart dog died in 2007. I think I am crazy.


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## skyizzy (Apr 15, 2008)

No you are not crazy, you have a heart and compassion and passion for these dogs.







God Bless people that foster.







I cried for a week when my foster went to her home. And my brother is a foster failure. So know you are not alone, we have all been there in one way or the other. Take care


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

Here is the e-mail I got this am-

Hi Angie, 

Im sorry but I dont think Riley will work out here. I know it has only been a couple of days but she still want eat and continues to cry. I think she will be best suited with a female. I ve never had a female dog and one as needy as her. 
I can give you everything I have of hers if you like.. bed, food, treats, bowl , etc . Perhaps you can use it in your rescue. 

I have to go to ****** today so I will crate her.. I should be back later this afternoon. 


So, I guess I just subjected Riley to 36 hours of pain and suffering! He has not even given her 48 hours to adjust! I am devastated. This is a real setback! I thought he was going to hang in there for at least a few days. He said he would! I am so angry right now that I can't even think straight...


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

Why do people think that it will be automatic that these animals can adjust.Especially if the dog has been in a not so good home before her rescue.I wish I could help you out but too far away and I would probably need a male next time around.


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## elly1210 (Jan 4, 2009)

In the end, if he is not willing to work with her now and make it happen it shows his level of commitment to wanting her was not high enough and it is better that you know now vs 2 years down the road. A better well rounded dog for him is more suitable and sometimes the match doesn't happen, don't blame yourself, things happen for a reason. You will get her back and you learned that maybe she really does need a pack of dogs to adjust better or another person totally.

Having a min pin out of a puppymill situation my level of commitment was high but the 3 other homes that had him for 2 days were not. I asked the foster mom how long did they have Cabela the last time, she said 2 days, I was like WHAT....she was so hesitate on letting me have him because we didn't have a fence but something changed her mind I don't know what. I told her if you don't think we are suitable that is OK but I really want him lol...it has been 2 years we have worked through many demons in the closet and potty training was HUGE , he was scared to death of moving through the house, so many issues...that is why he was given up so many times.

I tell you my experience to let you know that what happened is OK, you didn't fail, he didn't fail, Riley didn't fail it wasn't meant to be and with time and patience you will find her an awesome home.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

I am still trying to wrap my brain around all this. I have not been able to reach him.....I had my rescue friend at One Shep at a Time call him for me this am before I got in to work and got the email.

She reported back to me that Riley was asleep on his (man's) bed and she isstill whining, but not as much pacing and stuff. Still won't eat. Jarnee told him that it is way too soon to expect so much.....this was before we knew that he wanted her to come back to me.....She said that he sounded upset, mad, frustrated. She reiterated the fact that Riley was abused, then at the shelter, then came to me with issues and that we have been working on them ever since. I PROMISE THAT I TOLD HIM ALL THIS already.

And, I gave him the link to her thread on here so that he could read about her some more- he didn't. I also did not know he has a business trip planned for Monday until he had already adopted her! And, he was planning to board her at a kennel while he is gone- only a week after he got her!

I am just sick to my stomach. I want to go get her right now, but can't get ahold of him......Riley is coming home!


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

To me a responsible person would have informed you of his trip and maybe worked out a deal to wait till after.He's probably freaking out about boarding her and just wants her out.She'll be much better off back with you if this guy is never home or leave home often.We can only learn from our mistakes so be easy on yourself.


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

Go with your gut feeling. I had a similar experience with my Riley dog. A rescue was helping me find homes for Riley and his two sisters. A woman from out of town was interested in two of them and was driving down to see them. I told the rescue volunteer that I wanted to meet the woman. The woman was late so I had to go back to work but told her to call me - that I may be able to come back later. By 3:00 p.m. that afternoon I called to see if the lady ever showed up and was told that she adopted the "dog with the brown nose." I cried.

Several days later, I asked for the telephone number of the lady who adopted the pup so I could check on him. To make a long story short, it was the lady's mother in law's phone - this person didn't even have a phone in her house and had two little boys!!

I told my boss I was leaving to go bring my pup back! Drove two hours and found the most horrible conditions and a tie out in the backyard - no one was home!!

Went back the next weekend and brought him home. He's been with me ever since. He made 4 in the house but I knew he would not be leaving again. He is 6 years old now.

GO GET YOUR RILEY!


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

> Quote:Riley is coming home!


Good!!! And even better for Riley! This guy apparently doesn't understand, or want to understand, what these dogs have been through. Everyone wants it to be easy. Not only are they not dealing with an "easy" breed, but they're dealing with a dog who may have serious issues. Will anxiously check this thread and hope to see that she's home soon.


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## chuckstar158 (Sep 8, 2004)

> Originally Posted By: KShort
> 
> 
> > Quote:Riley is coming home!
> ...


x2!


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

He sounds like an inexperienced dog owner (has he had any dogs? is he one of those who grew up with shepherds but never had any later?) who did not realize what kind of commitment a dog is. It sounds like he won't be getting another dog any time soon if he is giving away the stuff he got for Riley.

Don't be hard on yourself, things like this happen. People usually know what they need to say when they want something.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

Oh, you guys, I am trying so hard not to freak out! I take great comfort in the way I can feel people out. It has only backfired me one other time- and that was a horrible situation.

I spent hours with this guy. I know all about him- 21 yrs in military, where he went to college, divorce, 12 y o DD, past GSD, Corgi, Lab, his work, etc!

One of the main reasons I was so excited about RIley going to him is because he is an insurance adjuster and works from home! He is always home except for "very infrequent" trips for work and when he is out adjusting a claim- and he said he always took his "old" Riley with him......talked about hiking, backpacking, running, dog park, on and on and on!

So, he was the closest thing to perfect that I thought I could ever hope for for Riley! He interacted so sweetly with her when we were at his house- If my judgement is this bad, then I think I need a break from rescue. I got 18 dogs placed in the last 2 weeks form our shelter. I had one other lady and her daughters helping me and had to set up some transports- but 18 dogs!!!!

I am just feeling very bad about this situation. I am angry that he promised he would do whatever it took, but he had already given up YESTERDAY! After only about 12 hours of her being there- he emailed and said that I had "broken her heart"! Boy, I was a mess all over again after reading that.

I just need to take some time off from rescue- and regroup. And get my baby girl home......


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

People are great at putting up a show, as needed. This happens, we regroup and learn for it. What rescue has taught me is not to take anything or anyone for what they tell me. People just walk away from problems, regardless what they say or promise before. This is not your fault, he may have even meant it at the time he said it. I think that you need to calm down and continue helping the dogs. Unfortunatley there is no "people detector" that can predict human behavior accurately. All we can do is, do our best. You have no control over how an adopter will behave, however, you can control your response to it. This man is not even worth your attention, don't give him this much power over you!


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## kathyb (May 16, 2007)

Let us know when she gets home.


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## chruby (Sep 21, 2005)

This dog has not been given nearly enough time and it seems the new home is not really committed to trying. I would not adopt out to them again if they give up this easy. 

Too bad for the dog but at least she can go back to you.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

You guys are all exactly right. Riley was not given enough time. I remember when I brought her home from the shelter. I was expecting too much too soon. I got a tongue lashing (she loves me, though) from Jarnee when I complained about it. She told me to give her time and just let her tell me when she was ready. Guess what? After a week, she let me know.

I will not adopt to him again. I am sad because I know he really wanted her and she really needed him to be patient. At least give her more than 36 hours.

Thanks all for your support. I am now totally stressed because I cannot get ahold of him. I am thinking about just driving to his house? What do you think???? Would that be stalker-ish?

What if he doesn't call me back? I have called and e-mailed! He has to be on his computer for work.......AARGGHH!

I will let you all know as soon as I get her or even get ahold of him!


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Just another comment here: My last dog came to me as a re-home. He was MISERABLE the first few weeks. Emotionally, his bags were all packed and right by the door. He would sigh... and it would end with a MOAN.

I rang his former owners to say "I just cannot watch him go through this pain any longer.."

His former owner said "Okay, so in what are you WORKING him? This was a German showlines dog. I got my butt in gear, and had him do some sits and downs. Nothin'. Then I asked him to heel-- and PING!!-- a light went on in his eyes, he felt NEEDED. After the lil obedience in the livingroom that day, he kept looking hopefully at me: "You need me, right? Right? I'm the one who does the best heeling, sits, and downs, right? Here I am!!"

My view was that because he was emotionally traumatized, that I should make everything easy on him for a few weeks. WRONG. He craved belonging, being part of a team, being NEEDED. _Because_ of the emotional trauma, he thrived and flourished under my working him a few times, every day.


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

In this case, I would be waiting outside his house. He has to come home eventually. However, I don't think this dog is in danger. It doesn't sound like he's that kind of person. But I would certainly want to get her out of there asap.


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## Jazy's mom (Jan 5, 2004)

What Kshort said.

I would be sitting in his driveway as soon as you can. He has already given up on this girl. I would not make her stay there for one minute longer than she needs to.


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## ThreeDogs (Mar 16, 2007)

I'd wait in his driveway as well!

It may not be that he told you all the right stuff, maybe it just thought he could handle it. And when the pup showed up reality struck and he realized he was in over his head. 

He may very well have been a great guy with his other dog, but his other dog was probably one of the perfect ones that never have problems, you know the ones you hear about but never seem to move into your house?









Just bring her home, she will be no worse for wear but I bet she will stick to you like glue more than ever.

You just tried to put her needs in front of your own, don't beat yourself up over it.


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

I know a rescue takes back dogs hence a rescue but should they have a 24 or 48hr return policy on them.I understand these dogs need a forever home but to ease some stress on everybody would this work?Or a trial period so everyone can try out the arrangement?Just a thought from a person that knows nothing about rescues. Can't dogs be like people and some just don't get along with each other?


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## dd (Jun 10, 2003)

> Quote: Can't dogs be like people and some just don't get along with each other?


Yes, I think so. Sometimes it takes time, and sometimes it's a bad fit that no amount of time is going to fix. And sometimes the dog knows where he belongs even if the humans don't.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

It won't ease the stress on the dog if 5 people take it on a 24 or or 48 hour trial and return it just because they can and it is policy. The rescue will end up with a crazy dog, it is not like taking an appliance and returning it. If the human is not committed to doing it as long as necessary, then it is better not to take the dog at all.


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## dd (Jun 10, 2003)

Yes, that is true. And in so many cases, I believe the dog thinks it has somehow "failed" and gets depressed. There is an email circulating about a poor dog who was normal but was abandoned by his people. When he was adopted out, he had separation anxiety - so the adopter brought him back to the shelter. He was adopted out again - and the separation anxiety was worse. He was crying out for help and not to be abandoned. And he was returned yet again. It is completely unfair to the dog.


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## Karin (Jan 4, 2008)

It's so sad when a dog is returned multiple times. Our Heidi was in at least two foster homes before we got her, and she was also adopted out and then returned by someone else (because the woman's vet said Heidi was a "bad dog"). Heidi bonded to me really quickly though and seemed to understand that this was her permanent home. I don't think she would have been happy living alone with a man. It took months for Heidi to develop a relationship with my husband and even now, she's definitely MY dog and he's #2.

Thanks for all you're doing to help Riley. I'm sure she will be beside herself with joy when she sees you! Keep us posted!


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## elly1210 (Jan 4, 2009)

> Originally Posted By: AllieGI know a rescue takes back dogs hence a rescue but should they have a 24 or 48hr return policy on them.I understand these dogs need a forever home but to ease some stress on everybody would this work?Or a trial period so everyone can try out the arrangement?Just a thought from a person that knows nothing about rescues. Can't dogs be like people and some just don't get along with each other?


Cabela's rescue had that policy where they had within 48 hours you would get a full refund after that you got a portion back, I liked, Sonny's rescue did not have a refund policy that I remember.

I see why a rescue would not want the policy because they feel that maybe they would have too many returned but I know it put my mind at ease big time, I knew I wasn't giving Cabela back but I felt like I had a more security instead of forced to keep the dog because I paid out so much money. In fact, they just kept the check and cashed it after the 7 day period.


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## elly1210 (Jan 4, 2009)

> Originally Posted By: RebelGSDIt won't ease the stress on the dog if 5 people take it on a 24 or or 48 hour trial and return it just because they can and it is policy. The rescue will end up with a crazy dog, it is not like taking an appliance and returning it. If the human is not committed to doing it as long as necessary, then it is better not to take the dog at all.


I don't do rescue so I can't really argue this point right







but I am on the opposite end and those were my feelings about the policy, I liked it but because Sonny's rescue didn't have it didn't make me less wanting to adopt him. 

My poor Cabela was bounced but he really needed a commited owner to work on his issues and be very patience most people want the perfect dog and looking at a rescued dog most likely this is not going to happen. 

Sonny's foster mom was dead honest with me on what he did good and what he did bad and I loved it I think all rescues need to tell them the good, bad and the ugly. I can tell you Cabela's foster mom didn't tell me anything I learned from scratch with him but I was totally commited. I believe that is why he was bounced around but this is NOT to say that anything bad about his rescue at all I am still in touch with them I think his foster mom actually started to get burned out in rescue and could have contributed to this issue but that is another story. 

I believe that when you do rescue enough and you are as through as you can be it may happen ever so often but not all the time I can't imagine a legit rescue would let a dog bounce like that. 

I believe this is just a rare case of that you did everything you could and it just didn't work out, better for him to call you instead of taking the dog to the pound, abusing her etc....he really made the best decision to us it is giving up but for the dog it was the best decision for her. Look at it positively. 

Anyway that is JMO


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## Karin (Jan 4, 2008)

Any news on Riley? Did you ever get ahold of the guy?


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## JakesDogs (Jun 4, 2008)

Elly summed my thoughts up pretty much - 

I understand you're angry, frustrated, disappointed, doubting yourself, fearful for Riley. You clearly have a strong bond with this dog on different levels. You had expectations, the adopter had expectations, and Riley ultimately is caught in the middle.

Absolutely, the potential and now failed adopter clearly could have handled various parts of Riley's adoption differently. Maybe he is inexperienced or less than totally committed to the process. Maybe, even though you tried to prepare him, when he saw how Riley grieved he felt it was a rejection and a failure on his part. Maybe he was afraid Riley's bond to you would be so strong that Riley would never bond with him. Maybe he made a mistake in judgment that became crystal clear once Riley was actually with him. At that obviously early moment when he realized he could not or would not follow through, he had lots of options. What he chose to do was contact you which was the right thing by Riley. No matter all his other shortcomings, the single thing this man did right was the single thing he absolutely had to do in the best interest of the dog. 

In retrospect, you now know this man was not the right match for Riley. In reality, he realized it and he called you. The most extensively planned rescue adoptions sometimes fail. Your distress over this failed adoption is valid but it's overshadowing the fact that the process worked as it should which is a clear indication that you are getting it right.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

Did you manage to get Riley back?


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

HEY! I have Riley! I was so busy last night with her that I could not get on the computer (casue I don't have internet at home anymore)....

She is safe and sound- at home in the doggy room and was stretched out on the loveseat when I left! I wanted all of you to know that she is safe. I want to post a lot more in response to what some of written and the questions about policies, etc....

This I feel is an excellent dialogue and I would like to continue this discussion.....I will post more in a minute- then I have to get home to the dogs!


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

I'm glad she is back with you.


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

> Originally Posted By: IntuitDog Elly summed my thoughts up pretty much -
> 
> I understand you're angry, frustrated, disappointed, doubting yourself, fearful for Riley. You clearly have a strong bond with this dog on different levels. You had expectations, the adopter had expectations, and Riley ultimately is caught in the middle.
> 
> ...


Very well said. I think it's entirely possible to just know in your gut that it's not the right dog for you. That feeling could come in minutes, hours or weeks. In this case, something was not right with the two of them. And like IntuitDog said, the process worked perfectly and Riley is back with you. I am such a big believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. It may not be clear right now, but in the future, it will be.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

OK- so here is the deal.....

I left work yesterday and had to go get the boys, then go homw and walk dogs. The entire time I was sick over Riley. I never could get ahold of the guy. But, as someone mentioned- I did not feel that Riley was in danger- just felt panicky that I could not get ahold of him and needed to get a plan to come get her.

So, after pacing around and trying to call, I just got in the suburban and headed his way. I just had to get to her. He got home while I was en route and I told him I was very close- only about 30 more minutes....he was so relieved! He said- "I thought you said she was crate trained"

Yes, she is. Well, he put her brand new dog bed in the crate instead of her pillows I gave him- they could have gotten ruined, they were garage sale finds.....but in his defense, he did crate her. He kept her from damaging his house or hurting herself. So, no big deal...Riley completely destroyed the pillows- which I know a nervous dog will do. Or a bored dog......well, she also broke the plastic tray in the crate- tore the lip off. Again- no big deal.

She heard me get there cause when I went to the door, she was sitting right there with her head tilted to one side. As soon as he opened the door, OMgosh! She peeked around the door as it opened and BOOM!

She wiggled and wagged and smiled and drooled and acted like a complete idiot! So did I! I was so stinkin happy to see her that I was just a mess! He probably couldn't wait to get the two crazy females OUT of his house!

I had her leashed, but she didn't need it. I laid it over her back and she heeled perfectly. A pack of wild cats could have jumped on her back and you wouldn't have been able to get her eyes off me! She jumped right in the suburban, in the back- then jumped over the seat, then again until she was in the passenger seat- just smiling and panting.

He told her bye and I gave him his check back. We didn't say a whole lot. Even though I was disappointed for him and Riley, I was not angry when I got there. He was sad and I could tell that he was just way in over his head, even though I had tried my best to prepare him.....

I will be back on here in the am. I just wanted to say-

1. I don't have a 48 hr. return policy- I am not selling cars....I have a 2 week, no question return policy with a full refund. I understand that people are human and dogs are dogs and sometimes these things just don't work. I am very understanding in that way.

2. I hold the check or cash for the full 2 weeks.......

3. I have over $300 in Riley's vet care. I was not making ANY money. I was losing money, but I was okay with that. I am over 
3K in the hole for the last 2 years. It is not about the money. It is about the dog. The dogs are my customers and they are always right. Even if they are wrong, they are right.

4. I was angry at the man. He did not give her a fair shot. I forgave him after I saw her and how happy she was to see me!

5. I believe in full disclosure. I do not hold anything back from the adopter- what good would that do? It would set the dog up to fail from the beginning.

Thanks to all of you for the support and encouragement. I have really needed it. Riley had some trouble last night as I expected....But, she played with Buddy this morning and she seems like she is going to be ok. That little girl is my dog. I just have to see if it will work.....I have to try harder for her sake cause I don't think anyone will be able to take her now. But, if that special person came along, I would be open.


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## elly1210 (Jan 4, 2009)

I like how you said point #1, I believe that is how Cabela's rescue worked it too because the check wasn't cashed for 7 days. Perfect explanation and I am SOOO glad she is back and home where she feels safe.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I think that a decent person would have made a donation towards your rescue after all they put you and the dog through, it is just basic decency. The driving alone cost you a bunch of money already. I feel that it is OK that adopters who don't give the dog a fair chance feel some financial consequences of their actions. Having financial consequences as opposed to making them feel all comfy about returning a dog in this way would make people think twice BEFORE adopting a dog. The effort involved with a bad adoption is often bigger than that involved with a good one. Why should everybody suffer except for the bad adopter who got the dog taken off his hands, he did not even have to make an effort to return her. I think that this preson was totally disrespectful of your time. JMHO


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

It was just one of those things that happen and she is in the right hands now.Hopefully he will think twice before getting another dog.He will never find one that will replace the one he lost.


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## CindyM (Mar 20, 2007)

I've been following this thread since the begginning and just wanted to say that I am glad Riley is home, too!


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

Thanks, guys. I have no time.....shelter is full and dogs are going down at 7am tomorrow- so I have been working on that. I did want to pop in here and say thank you to all of you for your concern and for checking in on Riley. She is more of a velcro dog than ever before- which is to be expected. She will not leave my side. She prefers to ride in the suburban and wait on me in there than to be crated at home. I have had to leash her in the car now- she will not ride in the back of the suburban. She thinks she needs to be in the passenger seat and then in my lap while I am driving- so for her safety and everyone else's- I leashed her and tied it off to something bolted to the floor.

She has enough leash to comfortably move around or lay down, but can't jump in the front.

I just want to say one more thing- RebelGSD is right! For any of you who are thinking about rescuing- please try your best to be respectful of our time! I added up the time I wasted on this man and it was terrifying to see that I gave up almost 40 hours.....for FREE! Had it worked out, I wouldn't say a word. The fact that it did NOT- well, he should have AT LEAST OFERRED to fill up my gas tank for the four trips that were made over and hour each way- 8 hours of JUST DRIVING! to his house!

Just because I rescue doesn't mean that I don't need a helping hand also! So here is a great lesson-

NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF RESCUERS! WE ARE ALWAYS BROKE AND OUT OF GAS ANYWAY.


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## Jazy's mom (Jan 5, 2004)

> Originally Posted By: ShepsRgr8NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF RESCUERS! WE ARE ALWAYS BROKE AND OUT OF GAS ANYWAY.


AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I want to reinforce this this for all of those who take the consumer approach to rescuing the dog. It is comfy to feel that you as an adopter can dump the adopted dog for whatever reason, or no reason at all, in 24 or 48 hours with no consequence to you. However, nobody in rescue gets paid big bucks to sit around on a pushbutton 24/7 so hop into the car when a bad adopter whistles. Or hang on the phone for hours and hours until a bad adopter is gracious enough to respond. Rescuers have families, jobs and they pay for gas, not counting the time and stress to the person and the animal. 

Honestly, you should have kept the adoption fee, God knows you deserve it. Making him feel like the good guy for doing this to the dog and you will just encourage him to do it to somebody else. 

The rescues I currently deal with are very strict about this and would decline anybody who starts an argument about a return period. We absolutely want to weed people out who will not give a dog a fair chance and want to make a decision about keeping the dog without giving the animal a fair amount of adjustment time. We all have jobs, families, our own dogs and fosters. The adoption process is extremely time consuming and often stressful. We have better things to do with our time than to spend all that energy on a 24-48 hour trial. We can spend the same "free" time with our dogs and families instead. 

Whoever feels that this is wrong and attacks us about it - we invite them to vounteer and hop around for trial adopters themselves. Obviously we never hear from them again. People feel entitled that others spend unlimited amounts of their "free" time on them, but they would never give up their own free time for others or animals other than their own. A bad adoption costs the rescue money and resources and the bad adopter should be accountable for that.


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## Timber1 (May 19, 2007)

I could not have said it better, or I would have, thanks from a foster guy.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

RebelGSD- You are right. I should have kept the money. I did honestly need it and I would have felt completely justified. I would not have lost a wink of sleep over it. But, I guess I need to get tougher about it because I feel very embarassed about the money part. Believe me, I have known of some dreadful people who do rescue for ALL the wrong reasons- and they do move a lot of dogs. They also make a lot of money. I mean- having little time invested and sometimes not even spaying the dog and turning around and "selling" the dog! For hundreds of dollars!

I am sure you know what I mean. I have exactly $225.00 in just vetting Riley to this point. Then there is her leash and collar with tags- about $15. Then her food and treats for the past couple months and incidentals- probably around $300! Not including gas for pulling, vet visits, spay visit, home visit, and 4 round trips to adopter's house! Then if you also count the night I brought her home and my BT attacked her and she wigged out while I had my hand tangled in her leash=
$25 copay @ Dr.
$30 prescription for antibiotics
for two broken fingers and 4 puncture wounds from the BT that attacked her!

I will never get out of the hole on this girl. Which is why I need to find a way for her and my other 3 permanent dogs to just get along! LOL


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## maggs30 (Aug 5, 2008)

Did things get better at all after Riley was spayed? How old is she now? I know for a couple weeks my pack has been trying to readjust their own pack order and I have a huge scar on my hand from trying to break up one of the fights between the males. I have learned a couple of tricks on getting my pack order straightened out. Feel free to PM me for any questions and I can see if I can help. I know I have had to step in and make sure my male dominant is the one that goes through door ways, ect first over the younger male..whom I thought was more dominant. I was mistakenly giving the younger one more dominant signs and that is what caused a lot of mine. Do a google search for fights between sibling dogs...which just means dogs in the same house...it was very insightful on ways to help dogs coexist. Also I now keep a spray bottle of water and if one of the males looks at the other with that look... I spray him in the head or face and divert his focus on me and tell him no.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

Thanks Tri-Shep. I think I now know exactly what the problems are!

Good news- Riley and Hans are getting along. We went hiking Sunday and yesterday we took them both to the college for a long walk.....things are getting better!

It is the littler dogs who incite all the fighting. Two of them are fosters and I am trying to get them OUT to stop the fighting. Even though they are crated when Riley is in, doesn't matter. They start it.


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## Cooper&me (Dec 18, 2007)

So glad Riley is back but I cannot get over being mad at the guy for giving up so soon and then to have the nerve to want his money returned!!!!!!!!!! 

You are a saint but next time KEEP THE MONEY.


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## Ewilliams (Oct 17, 2007)

hey, Michelle. I agree with you. I am still a little ambivalent about the money part of adoption. One of my sons recently asked me, "Mom, why don't you just say that you are selling a dog instead of saying that the dog is getting adopted?"

Ouch! But, it did give a wonderful opportunity for me to educate without sounding like a broken record. I explained about how much it costs to save each one, everything from pull fees (when they are not waived), de-worming, bathing, clipping, shaving, feeding, then rabies, all other shots, and necessary vetting for things that I can't take care of...Plus the s/n.

It sure does add up. I am averaging $50 in the red for each of the last 22 dogs....Then, I had a woman who wasted almost an entire week of my time on a dog at our local shelter....and she was supposed to pick her up Saturday, coming from Raleigh.

She backed out! After I have spent over $100+ on the dog! I pulled her from shelter, took her to vet for embedded collar neck wound, and had to buy her a special step-in harness to keep it off her neck! Now I am stuck with a dog.....again!

If I had seen one dime fromt his woman, I promise you I would be keeping ALL of it! I think I am going to start an adoption thread about this subject, so please join me! I will post the link here after I start it......


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