# German Shepherds are a lifetime commitment



## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

I just saw a post on Facebook that really annoyed me. While I commend the owner for reaching out to a breeder (not sure if it's their breeder) for help in placing him....I think the owners should have put more thought into getting this dog in the first place. I see to many times people buy dogs in the moment and for some reason, they have blinders on and don't understand the dog will not stay this small. They have a short term thought process with the pet. These dogs can live to 13+ years. When getting the dog, you need to consider all the possibilities that could happen. If you're planning on a family, you need to consider how will this dog fit in, when vacationing...what will we do with the dog, any health issues...what then? As a companion/sport home it aggravates me. Seeing stories like this gives off the wrong impression to good breeders (sometimes) in placing puppies/dogs in homes with families. In reading this, it sounds like the dog is to much for them to handle. I feel bad for the dog. His owners failed him. I understand why some breeders refuse to sell a puppy to families for reasons like this and it's not fair to the good/responsible owners. 

" Tito is just over 2 yrs old. Neutered, house and kennel trained...and has never eaten a single shoe. Walks great on leash, loves to play fetch and tug of war. Knows basic commands: sit, stay, down, go lay down, kennel, etc.
We'd like him to have more room to play and run. We have a 1 yr old toddler and another on the way and are rapidly running out of room and time to devote to him. Tito needs a strong leader and is probably not the right dog for a first time German Shepherd owner. He has a strong drive and a great ability to learn."


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## SunCzarina (Nov 24, 2000)

probably didn't even bother to tell the breeder they were expecting the first baby. Good for the dog though, someone's going to get a nice young dog that someone else went through all the puppy insanity.

Me though, I had 2 GSDs when my oldest son was born. One was 5, the other 2, both of them high drive PITAs. The female had always been a little skitzy of children, until she had her own baby to watch over. It was like a switch in her head went off and she went from crazy chick to the zen dog meditating at the baby crib. 

The male died when my twins were 7 months old, adult onset epilepsy, very tragic but we waited as a one dog family until 3 years later when we got Otto. LOL yeah, my kids are dog proof, my 9 year old was with me yesterday when we had to go into a house with a teenage rescued doberman. Hugo's a total mess but my son became his fast friend.


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## Mister C (Jan 14, 2014)

I hear you and agree. 

I have seen too many young couples get a puppy early on in the marriage. Then they have a baby shortly thereafter and the dog is pushed way to the side and ignored. It's like the puppy is a training aid for the baby to come and when the baby does arrive the training aid is tossed aside. 

Dogs are indeed huge commitment and it irks me when people don't take that commitment seriously.


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## TheModestMouse (Sep 13, 2013)

Yeah, many people lack the forethought required when adopting/buying. 

I have to be honest, I am somewhat guilty of this. I want a GSD so bad I don't think about the fact that I am going to college in August. However, when it all comes down to the decision, I know I can't have a pet for the next 5 years, at least. It drives me crazy, but it means that the dog and I end up with will have a stable home.


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## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

SunCzarina said:


> probably didn't even bother to tell the breeder they were expecting the first baby. Good for the dog though, someone's going to get a nice young dog that someone else went through all the puppy insanity.
> 
> Me though, I had 2 GSDs when my oldest son was born. One was 5, the other 2, both of them high drive PITAs. The female had always been a little skitzy of children, until she had her own baby to watch over. It was like a switch in her head went off and she went from crazy chick to the zen dog meditating at the baby crib.
> 
> The male died when my twins were 7 months old, adult onset epilepsy, very tragic but we waited as a one dog family until 3 years later when we got Otto. LOL yeah, my kids are dog proof, my 9 year old was with me yesterday when we had to go into a house with a teenage rescued doberman. Hugo's a total mess but my son became his fast friend.


 
I'm not sure. I would think looking at the timeline, the wife would have been pregnant when the pup first lived with them. That would be something I would question at least or make them aware of what goes into a dog so they at least know. 

Dogs adapt can adapt really well to changes in their environment when handled properly. There are so many factors that play into it: Obedience, owner's behavior, exercise, schedule, etc. Your female is a perfect example it working. People expect the finished product from the beginning without understanding what EFFORT really goes into raising a dog. My son is the same way. From the beginning he was introduced to dogs. Learned how to approach one, when to leave it alone, things to look for in their behavior, etc. He's 8! He lets dogs come to him so as not to startle them. With Red, rescue male shepherd, he did so much with him to gain his trust....now they are inseperable : ) 

Sorry for your loss, its always so heartbreaking when we lose them. My son sounds a lot like your son wanting to help dogs : )


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## Springbrz (Aug 13, 2013)

I agree. However, It's not just GSD's...it's all pets. They are a life time commitment and everyone should think long and hard before they decide to become a pet person/family.


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## Susan_GSD_mom (Jan 7, 2014)

Just as irritating as this young couple's lack of planning is another situation. So often you see GSDs (and other big potentially aggressive breeds) on rescue sites because their senior owners could no longer handle them.

I am 67, have always been a strong woman and all my life have had strong, aggressive dogs. BUT--I also know the day will come when I won't be able to manage a dog like either my driven Orick, or my DA Jade. And they are the smallest GSDs I've even had! But the reality will be there, and I am gradually adjusting to it. It's called forethought. The breeder of my first sable is advancing in age, and she still has some of her GSDs. However, she has made arrangements with a good friend, another breeder. If anything happens to Karen, her friend is to get her dogs even before her own family, because she trusts her friend to find the best situations for them.


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## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

Mister C said:


> I hear you and agree.
> 
> I have seen too many young couples get a puppy early on in the marriage. Then they have a baby shortly thereafter and the dog is pushed way to the side and ignored. It's like the puppy is a training aid for the baby to come and when the baby does arrive the training aid is tossed aside.
> 
> Dogs are indeed huge commitment and it irks me when people don't take that commitment seriously.


I have seen this to. Possibly "this" couple could have a dog successfully with two young children...just not a shepherd. In reading this, it sounds as if this was their first shepherd. They bit off more than they could chew. Had it of been another breed that's less demanding, the outcome MAY have been different. Who knows. 



TheModestMouse said:


> Yeah, many people lack the forethought required when adopting/buying.
> 
> I have to be honest, I am somewhat guilty of this. I want a GSD so bad I don't think about the fact that I am going to college in August. However, when it all comes down to the decision, I know I can't have a pet for the next 5 years, at least. It drives me crazy, but it means that the dog and I end up with will have a stable home.


You are WRONG...you are planning ahead. Want is not being guilty of anything. I want lots of things, BUT I know my limits. So do you : ) You're thinking about the commitment and your current situation. You understand what is required and have made the decision to wait until the right time. That's more planning than many : ) Good job!


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## Peter. (Aug 22, 2012)

I really think that until you have a GSD, you have no idea. I know I didn't.

My GSD Rainer is about a year and a half old. I have a wife, and two young "human" boys ages 7 and 4. Before deciding on a GSD, we read lots of posts on here, talked to breeders, read breed specific articles and books and knew having a GSD would be a lot of work.

We were prepared to spend the money on whatever he would require, take him to obedience classes, and integrate him into our family. We didn't just decide to get a GSD, because they are so noble looking.. and yet, we were still not fully understanding.

Maybe it's not the case with all first time GSD owners, but despite our best efforts, there have been some really trying times.

Yes, despite our attempts to redirect to chewing toys, or other methods, our pup would still play bite our children and bring my wife to near tears, but we've worked through it.

Yes, though we've worked with him on relaxing when strangers, to him, are in the house, he has some issues with wanting to take matters into his own hands.

And even now, he's decided he doesn't much care for passing cars, and he wants to destroy certain ones, I've come up with a plan, with my trainer, to work on this issue.

There have definitely been times where I thought, though I love him, I wish we would have gotten a lap dog.. Life would have been so much easier. Now, it seems he's in his teenager phase, and testing his boundaries, which is a whole new level of enjoyment 

We just can't picture our family without him, so.. we keep at it. We keep working with him. He's smart as all get out, We just have to learn how to communicate to him that certain behaviors are inappropriate. We have to help him grow to be the best dog he can be.

But yeah, in my opinion, you really don't know until you've experienced it yourself.


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## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

Springbrz said:


> I agree. However, It's not just GSD's...it's all pets.


Yes it is : (



Susan_GSD_mom said:


> Just as irritating as this young couple's lack of planning is another situation. So often you see GSDs (and other big potentially aggressive breeds) on rescue sites because their senior owners could no longer handle them.
> 
> I am 67, have always been a strong woman and all my life have had strong, aggressive dogs. BUT--I also know the day will come when I won't be able to manage a dog like either my driven Orick, or my DA Jade. And they are the smallest GSDs I've even had! But the reality will be there, and I am gradually adjusting to it. It's called forethought. The breeder of my first sable is advancing in age, and she still has some of her GSDs. However, she has made arrangements with a good friend, another breeder. If anything happens to Karen, her friend is to get her dogs even before her own family, because she trusts her friend to find the best situations for them.


 
I didn't really think of that...very good point. That is actually how we came to adopt our Charlie. She was EXTREMELY well cared for. She was with two other dogs. A veteran had them since they were puppies. He used to walk all three because his yard wasn't fenced in. He ended up having really bad back problems and had to get rid of them. I felt so bad all of them. Charlie was 9 yrs old when we adoted her. That's really smart on your breeder's part : ) 

I think the moral of this thread is no matter what age the owner is or the dog, proper planning should be made. All things are not preventable obviously, but as an owner you're more prepared when you at least have a plan.


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## martemchik (Nov 23, 2010)

You know, I don’t mind so much when people are truthful and try to get their dog a better home. They’ve realized they can’t give the dog all the love and attention they want to, and so they want to find a home where the dog will be the center of that family’s universe. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s better for both parties.

On top of that, it doesn’t sound like the family knew about a baby coming when the dog was adopted. Who knows, maybe it was in the plans, maybe it wasn’t? We did recently have someone sign up and ask questions about getting a dog, with a baby on the way, and many people told them to have the baby first and then see what kind of time you have to spend with a dog. I truly can’t imagine having a young GSD and a baby at the same time.

Also, the family isn’t in a rush to rehome. The dog has a home until they find the right family for it. They’re not the “threatening” CL posts about how the dog needs to be gone by the end of the day or else it goes to the pound.

I just got a 2 year old GSD because her owner had a stroke. I'm like 99% sure that she's had more fun and experience in the last 4 months than she ever did with her elderly former owner. Sure, she got everything she needed, she got plenty of love and affection, but I'm sure that I have offered her much more in the way of socialization, training, and "seeing the world" as she pretty much goes everywhere with me.


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## Lark (Jan 27, 2014)

Peter. said:


> I really think that until you have a GSD, you have no idea. I know I didn't.
> 
> My GSD Rainer is about a year and a half old. I have a wife, and two young "human" boys ages 7 and 4. Before deciding on a GSD, we read lots of posts on here, talked to breeders, read breed specific articles and books and knew having a GSD would be a lot of work.
> 
> ...


I totally agree with this post. I researched like crazy, and still have ended up overwhelmed at times. I had dogs before, but it really didn't compare to the work of my GSD.


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## wyoung2153 (Feb 28, 2010)

While I agree with the premise of this post, I have to say that every situation is different and some people honestly want their pet and think they will have all the time in the world. They plan it out, the think they've done what they need and finally get their dog. They didn't anticipate certain behaviors, they didn't realize just how much attention a high drive dog needs, etc. If they were having their first child, they probably didn't consider how much work BOTH would be.. Or they did but maybe their child demanded more than they could have handled too. 

I'm not excusing it completely, but realize too that sometimes life just happens when you don't plan on it happening.. and the fact that they have (supposedly) a well behaved dog, and decided that they couldn't give him the best life he deserves, rather than keep him, should say something too. 

Rehoming a dog when you didn't intend to do that in the first place, is a very tough decision to make, and while on the outside may appear careless, probably took a considerable amount of thought and effort to come to that conclusion.. knowing far to well that people would judge you on that aspect. 

I dont' know these people, and maybe I'm 100% wrong and they truly were just careless. These kinds of assumptions, of how could they do that, weren't you prepared, irk me, because I have been there and have been in a situation where rehoming was the solution and it was not at all easy and I took flak for doing it when people had absolutely no idea what went on behind the scenes.


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

wyoung2153 said:


> While I agree with the premise of this post, I have to say that every situation is different and some people honestly want their pet and think they will have all the time in the world. They plan it out, the think they've done what they need and finally get their dog. They didn't anticipate certain behaviors, they didn't realize just how much attention a high drive dog needs, etc. If they were having their first child, they probably didn't consider how much work BOTH would be.. Or they did but maybe their child demanded more than they could have handled too.
> 
> I'm not excusing it completely, but realize too that sometimes life just happens when you don't plan on it happening.. and the fact that they have (supposedly) a well behaved dog, and decided that they couldn't give him the best life he deserves, rather than keep him, should say something too.
> 
> ...


:thumbup:

I have rehomed 3 times, yes it's a lot, yes I would question a person for rehoming that many dogs but I honestly did have that bad of luck, those dogs had issues that I couldn't handle and they didn't fit in with my lifestyle, my dogs or my cats so I did what I thought was best and I rehomed them. I didn't want to keep an animal that I didn't bond with and I definitely didn't want them to feel unloved or not recieve the attention, love and training that they needed. I do not have any regrets, they are all happier where they are now. It does make me look like a bad person but anyone who knows me personally or knows me through Facebook can see that my dogs are my life and they are spoiled rotten. I did not have bad intentions when I got the dogs, things just didn't work out unfortunately. 

Also these people are first time parents, they probably didn't expect to be so overwhelmed with having a newborn and a dog, maybe money became tight for them, at least they are trying to rehome the dog to a good home and are not dumping him in a shelter. They sound like they had good intentions, but problems popped up.


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## wyoung2153 (Feb 28, 2010)

LaRen616 said:


> :thumbup:
> 
> I have rehomed 3 times, yes it's a lot, yes I would question a person for rehoming that many dogs but I honestly did have that bad of luck, those dogs had issues that I couldn't handle and they didn't fit in with my lifestyle, my dogs or my cats so I did what I thought was best and I rehomed them. I didn't want to keep an animal that I didn't bond with and I definitely didn't want them to feel unloved or not recieve the attention, love and training that they needed. I do not have any regrets, they are all happier where they are now. It does make me look like a bad person but anyone who knows me personally or knows me through Facebook can see that my dogs are my life and they are spoiled rotten. I did not have bad intentions when I got the dogs, things just didn't work out unfortunately.
> 
> Also these people are first time parents, they probably didn't expect to be so overwhelmed with having a newborn and a dog, maybe money became tight for them, at least they are trying to rehome the dog to a good home and are not dumping him in a shelter. They sound like they had good intentions, but problems popped up.


When I rehomed my girl, the breeder said it perfectly before I even signed the contract.. she said "Whitney, sometimes LIFE happens.. anythign from deployments, to temperments, to finances, schedules, you name it. If you ever need to rehome Athena, do not be ashamed, I will help you." To me, recognizing the fact that sometimes things happen and it just isn't right, said that was a good breeder. 

How fortunate that you guys haven't experienced this, I am so happy for you, but realize that it happens with the most experienced and will intended people just as much as those people that don't care at all.


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## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

Peter. said:


> I really think that until you have a GSD, you have no idea. I know I didn't.
> 
> My GSD Rainer is about a year and a half old. I have a wife, and two young "human" boys ages 7 and 4. Before deciding on a GSD, we read lots of posts on here, talked to breeders, read breed specific articles and books and knew having a GSD would be a lot of work.
> 
> ...


 :thumbup: I agree with you : ) We got Red as an unruly teenager....two years later, he still has his antics he tries. Luckily there hasn't been anything that testing he has done. Thank god!!!! I love him dearly as I can tell your family does with your pup! Keep up your hard work with him and it'll pay off : )


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## Peter. (Aug 22, 2012)

d4lilbitz said:


> :thumbup: I agree with you : ) We got Red as an unruly teenager....two years later, he still has his antics he tries. Luckily there hasn't been anything that testing he has done. Thank god!!!! I love him dearly as I can tell your family does with your pup! Keep up your hard work with him and it'll pay off : )


Thanks.. My wife told me the boys are asking for another dog to be Rainer's friend, we just look at each other and laugh.. haha.


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## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

martemchik said:


> You know, I don’t mind so much when people are truthful and try to get their dog a better home. They’ve realized they can’t give the dog all the love and attention they want to, and so they want to find a home where the dog will be the center of that family’s universe. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s better for both parties.
> 
> On top of that, it doesn’t sound like the family knew about a baby coming when the dog was adopted. Who knows, maybe it was in the plans, maybe it wasn’t? We did recently have someone sign up and ask questions about getting a dog, with a baby on the way, and many people told them to have the baby first and then see what kind of time you have to spend with a dog. I truly can’t imagine having a young GSD and a baby at the same time.
> 
> ...


I agree sort of. I know all situations are different and in some cases can't be helped that's not what I was trying to convey in my post for those cases. I'm glad the owner went to a breeder for rehoming help and is willing to wait for the right home so the dog can be happy. I think in this case though, better planning could have been made when they first got the dog. People have children enexpectedly. I think when you decide to buy a dog, you need consider several things... having a family and understanding where the dog's place would be is a pretty reasonable thing to consider prior to bringing a dog in the home. Luckily there are experienced people who are able to take in these animals and give them lovign homes. Sadly though, not all dogs in scenarios like this find a home.


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## d4lilbitz (Dec 30, 2013)

Peter. said:


> Thanks.. My wife told me the boys are asking for another dog to be Rainer's friend, we just look at each other and laugh.. haha.


 
It'll be interesting to see who wins that battle down the road haha! 




wyoung2153 said:


> When I rehomed my girl, the breeder said it perfectly before I even signed the contract.. she said "Whitney, sometimes LIFE happens.. anythign from deployments, to temperments, to finances, schedules, you name it. If you ever need to rehome Athena, do not be ashamed, I will help you." To me, recognizing the fact that sometimes things happen and it just isn't right, said that was a good breeder.
> QUOTE]
> 
> I think that is a very responsible breeder and a good thing to do. Great quote by her as well. Life does happen and not always in our favor.
> ...


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## SuperG (May 11, 2013)

Only read the title and I so wish they did last a lifetime....yes, they are a commitment but such an rewarding and wonderful responsibility to take on...

SuperG


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## TheModestMouse (Sep 13, 2013)

d4lilbitz said:


> You are WRONG...you are planning ahead. Want is not being guilty of anything. I want lots of things, BUT I know my limits. So do you : ) You're thinking about the commitment and your current situation. You understand what is required and have made the decision to wait until the right time. That's more planning than many : ) Good job!


I appreciate your comment because it takes a lot of determination to not give in. I suppose a good way you can make sure you don't adopt/purchase irresponsibly is to get advice. That has been my biggest help. Usually an honest friend will tell you when your plan seems out of sorts.


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## Rottendog (Mar 6, 2014)

I can see both sides here. And the couple looking for a new home for their GSD sounds from the ad as if they are sincere and care for the dog. And I also see where a young couple should be sure of their plans and know full well what they are getting into before bringing in a dog to the family. I wish everyone could stop and use a little judgement before signing on to take in a dog and all the responsibility that goes along with them. But I've seen it many times, the kid gets in the way of the dog and the dog goes outside or to a new home. It's a sad thing but as long as we have people who do not take their responsibility to the dog seriously, it's going to happen. And we are still going to have situations that are not avoidable. Like someone posted earlier, Life Happens. If people would just stop and think before they make that impulse decision, it would help a lot.


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## petite (Apr 5, 2014)

Lark said:


> I totally agree with this post. I researched like crazy, and still have ended up overwhelmed at times. I had dogs before, but it really didn't compare to the work of my GSD.


Exactly this! I've just started my first GSD journey and I can already tell this is going to be an experience! 

As for the re-homing issue, I try not to judge people who have taken good care of a dog and for whatever reason can't continue that care. That is the right thing to do. I am more worried about GSDs dumped at shelters (where they are often judged as an aggressive breed off the bat) or people re-homing dogs that they have abused mentally or physically without disclosing these issues.


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## sehrgutcsg (Feb 7, 2014)

You GSD owner's are seeing this on a case by case basis. Try the other end of the spectrum. Owning and operating a rescue foundation, where your competition is going out of business, needs to place an entire litter of pup's, several young dog's and several older dog's. Just because this owner has maybe lent her or his own company / foundation, an excess of $200,000.00 to keep the doors open and the ball rolling, these are the hero's that walk unseen in your World you never here about. Let's here it for them, and keep the optimism upbeat, because the guy or girl who never planned, bells palsy, code blue heart attack, double pneumonia, depression and work related injuries, still hates to think about not waking up in the morning, getting on his orher knees, having the morning ritual before coffee with his or her GSD, clamoring for some equal hugs, kisses and the thought of that not happening, could bring it all to a fast and painless end....


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## wyoung2153 (Feb 28, 2010)

Rottendog said:


> I can see both sides here. And the couple looking for a new home for their GSD sounds from the ad as if they are sincere and care for the dog. And I also see where a young couple should be sure of their plans and know full well what they are getting into before bringing in a dog to the family. I wish everyone could stop and use a little judgement before signing on to take in a dog and all the responsibility that goes along with them. But I've seen it many times, the kid gets in the way of the dog and the dog goes outside or to a new home. It's a sad thing but as long as we have people who do not take their responsibility to the dog seriously, it's going to happen. And we are still going to have situations that are not avoidable. Like someone posted earlier, Life Happens. If people would just stop and think before they make that impulse decision, it would help a lot.


Avoid impulse decisions, yes. I had a good friend who adopted Titan's brother at the same time I did.. she was just going with me to pick up Titan and then when seh got there , he had one more pup for sale and she bought him. All was well for a while but she was moving to the states (we were in Germany at the time) and she didn't know what her next unit would be like but thought she could juggle it and she couldn't. She rehomed the dog weeks before I moved there with her.. because she just couldn't do right by him anymore. Thankful she realized that but sad it came to that.

On another note. I am a young person.. in a newish relationship (2 years) I have had titan for 4. When I got him I was single and only had to worry about me. I couldn't predict I would be in a relationship 2 years down the road, or that we would be getting married at some point or any of that. We're talkign about children and a family a few years from now. What if Titan is aggressive toward my children? I can't guarantee he won't. But 4 years ago, there was no reason for me to consider any of that.. there aren't always things that you can plan for.. SO many things in my life have changed and I have been lucky enough to be in a situation to handle it all, but what if I wasn't.. why should I have been painted as a bad person because 4 years ago I was in a perfectly stable environment and now (hypothentically) I'm not. I just don't think that's fair.

I think that some people do not think, I mean at all, and those are the ones that we wish would, but someone who is doing their best and realize they can't, shouldn't be told to "plan better next time" or any of that.. most people do have some sense of planning and do line their ducks up in order to do things the right way. It's not right to say that someone can't get a dog now, because 5 years from now you want a family, or to move cross country, or whatever..


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## JoeyG (Nov 17, 2013)

I think though people mean well they should think more often before they commit. Life happens I do understand but some things can be prevented.

I volunteer with a rescue and someone adopted a young male (gsd rescue) thinking it would work well. When I saw the dog I could see he was more of a working dog and very confident. Needless to say the dog bit her neighbor in the face and was brought back to the rescue... now he faces a slim chance at the life he deserves. This was before I started there. Not that I have any say anyway, I just help out.

I'm on my second gsd and I waited 7 years in between and till my daughter was 3.5 years so she could take a little abuse from the puppy  I'm the dog lover and I wanted a friend and protector for her. I worked with him very hard to be socialized and be obedient. Of late I work some much and did well with their bonding that he now often prefers to be with her since he sees less of me. We're close and still play and train but he adores her. Guess my point is waiting those pay off. Also as appose to my first guy who was very dominant this guy is very submissive and friendly. I picked him from the temper of the parents and compared to the other puppies, still high energy though lol

Long story short I hope the dog finds a loving home where he can be a part of it

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I disagree with the OP. 

Dogs are great, they are loyal, and they do great with our leftover time, leftover money, leftover space, leftover food. 

Humans aren't so great. When money gets tight, they get edgy, when time gets short, they stress, when space is short, they get antsy, and I don't know but there are a lot of negative behaviors when food gets short. But, if they have a bond with the dog, they generally factor the dog into all of it. Things have to get really tight -- really have a totally unforeseen and impossible to totally plan for problem for someone to give up a dog that they love and have a special bond with.

If the bond isn't there, the worst thing a person can do is to keep a dog because they feel compelled to do so, because of the commitment that they made when they purchased or rescued the dog. Dogs are incredible with how in tune they are with us. They can be bonded to us, and know our moods and what we like and dislike, etc, even if we do not have much of a bond with them. Just because we walk in at night, let the dog out, put his food down and then pass out in front of the TV, doesn't mean the dog cares that little about us.

And so, you can argue how heartless and disloyal we are for giving up a dog that is that in tune with us. But what is really unfortunate is when a dog is desperately trying to please his owner, and his owner is indifferent, or worse yet, feels irritated at how needy the dog seems to be, how they have to find some place to board the dog when the go to the relatives at Christmas, how he has to come home instead of just working a double shift because the dog is going to have to go potty, how the new girlfriend is making noises because he doesn't care about the dog anyway and the dog is shedding hair all over the place. 

Keeping the dog for years exuding your irritation that you are tied down to this dog, that you no longer want, but don't want to be one of those people who dump their dog is a gruesome thing for a dog to live with. 

And it is SO unnecessary. Someone might be out there that will make your dog the center of their universe. And, the dog WILL bond with that person and forget you -- maybe not forever or totally, if you see the dog in so many months, it may remember you, but that doesn't mean the dog's life might not be better with someone else.

Life changes, and we change. If we have not managed to achieve the give and take relationship with our critter, then do the responsible thing, and try to find the dog a home with someone who will give the dog what he deserves.

Dogs do not need orthopedic beds, doggy day care and spas, professional grooming, expensive toys and treats, or 100$/bag dog food. But they need a person who WANTS them. 

If a dog is not wanted, then the human should find someone who does want the dog. It may be that it is crueler to keep a dog in a home where it is not wanted, than it would be to euthanize the dog if no suitable home could be found, like if the dog has a bite history, or has some serious issues. 

I think we should go into getting a puppy or a dog with the understanding that this dog will live 10-14 years, will require food, vetting, training, time and attention, and various needs through those years. But if we approach it as a life sentence, we might end up feeling trapped, and may make what could be an awesome relationship be something that is a drag, just because of how we perceive it. 

TL/DR, If you don't love the dog, then do the kind thing and let him go to someone who will.


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## sparra (Jun 27, 2011)

Great post


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