# Ode to Tucker ( I LOVE YOU! )



## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

I am moving closer and closer to handing Tucker over. I need to just say this. It is cathartic to me - part of the mental process for me.

You came to my home in great need. I was not prepared for the challenge of you, but you needed me. You’d been abandoned and ignored in a backyard for so long and were headed to the shelter. You’d never known the love of a home with family. You didn’t know how to behave inside a house. You knew no better because you’d been taught no better. 

Yes, you were a handful, Mr. Tucker!!!!! You jumped up, you CHARGED! You tried to pee on my chair the first time you came inside. Yes, Mr. Tucker, I’ll always remember you knocking me over and dragging me with your strong body. Yes, I’ll remember the nice goose egg you gave me when you charged me as we worked together on getting you used to a human sitting down. I can look back on those things now and cry in happiness because you’re no longer that dog.

Look at you now! You’ve come so far! As I prepare to hand you off to what I pray is your forever home, I know that all my work, bruises and knocks on the head were worth it. Every ounce of energy, tears, frustration – ALL WORTH IT. I have been truly blessed to discover the beauty of your spirit. Who would’ve ever thought that there was a soft, gentle giant underneath that craziness? I have had the oh so special privilege of bringing that out, watching it develop and grow and loving the journey. 

You’ve taught me so much, Mr. Tucker. I will miss you so very much, but it is time for you to have your own family. 

And so I shall give you your last belly rub and your last ear scratch and I will throw your ball one last time. I will lay on the floor with you because we can do that now! And I will give you a last yummy peanut butter filled Kong to enjoy and I will probably bury my head in yours and cry a lot… and then I will hand over the leash and I will walk away. It will be one of the hardest things I will ever, ever do, but I will because I must – because you deserve a family to love you and put you at the center of their home in a way that I cannot.

I love you. Wuf, wuf.


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## x.WOLFiE.x (Sep 1, 2012)

You're wonderful to be so patient and selfless. Wish there were more like you. Even those who love animals more than most things in life don't all have what you have in you. I'm sure Tucker thanks you. 


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## Midnight12 (Jan 6, 2012)

Hugs to you. That was well written. Such a bitter sweet thing You did so much for this dog and it sad for you but happy for him. That's real love.


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

Nice job, you'll have him in your heart forever..


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

I actually shed a few tears myself


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## Bear L (Feb 9, 2012)

I just cried.


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

The main emotion you should be feeling is pride, you took a unruly dog and turned him into a pet worth adopting! I'm sure a lot of us will shed tears with you when the day comes that he leaves but he will be in a amazing home that hopefully will swarm you with updates so you can watch the next chapter of his life unfold like you were there beside him

It will be bittersweet but I hope the tears turn to laughs as you continue to recount more Tucker stories 

Tucker, I'm sure you'll provide your new family with more stories to tell


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

Sweet tribute Chelle! What you wrote could be written by many who foster and go thru that process. They sure do wiggle their way into our hearts. 
You should be so proud of the past months you've had Tucker, and his new family will be blessed to have him in their lives! 
Thank you!!


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## wyoung2153 (Feb 28, 2010)

not gonna lie.. I got teary eyed reading this. I have followed yours and Tucker's journey since day one and it was truly remarkable to read. You are one of a kind Chelle and Tucker lucked out. Sorry it's hard for you, but be happy he is going to a family and live in a house not a back yard with no love.. and that's because of you


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## 1sttimeforgsd (Jul 29, 2010)

You are an angel and a hero to Tucker and to me, God Bless.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Chelle you have been amazing throughout all of Tucker's transition from Wildman to the happy love bug he is today. Letting go is so hard but yet a wonderful.


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

My sincerest congratulations on helping Tucker, Chelle. Bittersweet for sure, but you should feel proud.


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## jang (May 1, 2011)

it took a VERY special person to do what you and and what you are doing by giving up Tucker...I, too, have followed you journey and girl, you've got more heart and more strength than I, for one, could ever have..Bless you for your efforts and good luck to Tucker in his new forever home..jan


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## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

This



Midnight12 said:


> Hugs to you. That was well written. Such a bitter sweet thing You did so much for this dog and it sad for you but happy for him. That's real love.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Thank you so very much for your kindness, everyone. This is such a huge thing to me. What a wild ride it has been. Tucker left an imprint on my heart that will never be erased. 

I am *very* *deeply* appreciative to those that made this journey with us! Your advice, information, etc was absolutely invaluable. Your support made all the difference. You all had a hand in Mr Tuckies, you know. When you supported me with humor and support, you gave me that much energy I needed to stay the course. When you told me I was doing a good job, you made me want to do a better job. You just can't buy that. I will be eternally grateful to this board and the supportive and wonderful people here forever.

Tuckie is grateful, too. :wub:

Poor quality, but one of my total faves:









Catches the true disposition of Mr Tuck -- GOOFBALL!


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## Anthony8858 (Sep 18, 2011)

Wow. Must be so difficult to do this.
I would have a houseful. 


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

What a beatiful and moving tribute. It is hard to describe the emotional part of being a foster dog parent and you did a fabulous job of it. 

We get them used to living inside a house, not walking on TOP of the coffee table, teach them how to use stairs, avoid not getting trampled when they come down the stairs, teach them manners and how to behave appropriately around people, and then they get adopted and the process starts all over again. 

But the best parts are seeing the happy dog with their new family that loves them so much, and the fact that we get to share our lives with more dogs than most folks will ever dream of! 

Heartfelt congrats on your efforts on Tucker's behalf!


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## Scarlettsmom (Jul 12, 2011)

Remo said:


> What a beatiful and moving tribute. It is hard to describe the emotional part of being a foster dog parent and you did a fabulous job of it.
> 
> We get them used to living inside a house, not walking on TOP of the coffee table, teach them how to use stairs, avoid not getting trampled when they come down the stairs, teach them manners and how to behave appropriately around people, and then they get adopted and the process starts all over again.
> 
> ...


And as someone who has adopted a dog like Tucker, I can honestly say that your efforts will never go unappreciated. The foster families who cared for and trained Scarlett gave us a wonderful gift of a dog who is a very important part of our lives. 

Thank you for what you did, Chelle. Even if you never meet the family, you will know that they think of you. :apple:


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## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

When is he supposed to go to his new home?


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Gharrissc said:


> When is he supposed to go to his new home?


We are going to do a trial run this weekend. I'll go over to their house on Sunday and talk about how it went and what to do with their fence situation. Ie, they need to get it fixed.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

So I dropped him off tonight for the "trial."

I'm back home and am supposed to be getting things together to go camping.

I don't want to. I keep looking at the now empty corner where Tuckie's crate sat. No crate there. I think it just hit me that it could remain that way, that he really could be gone now. Nearly eight months together, a dog I really didn't want and man I am down in the dumps. No more of that flop ear, wagging tail and pretty brown eyes every morning to greet me.

I am feeling a huge sense of loss right now.

The only thing keeping me from really losing it is knowing there is a nice family of four, who, right now, are playing with him and making him the center of their home. There is no dog there to potentially pick a fight with him. He can have his toys and chewies all over the place and has no worries.....

It hasn't even been two hours and I can't wait to get my first pic.


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

hope it works out well for all, so great of you to hang in there!


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

chelle said:


> So I dropped him off tonight for the "trial."
> 
> I'm back home and am supposed to be getting things together to go camping.
> 
> ...



Do the other dogs seem to notice that he's missing?


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## Bear L (Feb 9, 2012)

and I can't wait to hear about how it goes!


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

llombardo said:


> Do the other dogs seem to notice that he's missing?


Bailey definitely does.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Chelle I think just cause your doing the right thing doesnt mean it doesnt hurt to let him go. everything you've ever said about Tucker was that he was a sweet love bug. Even though this new home can give him the right place to be it was your love, determination as well as your hard work that made this all possible. In eight months that wildman went straight to your heart and now he takes alittle piece of you with him.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Daisy&Lucky's Mom said:


> Chelle I think just cause your doing the right thing doesnt mean it doesnt hurt to let him go. everything you've ever said about Tucker was that he was a sweet love bug. Even though this new home can give him the right place to be it was your love, determination as well as your hard work that made this all possible. In eight months that wildman went straight to your heart and now he takes alittle piece of you with him.


Thank you... but not just a little piece. A CHUNK. 

This is hard to write. I honestly feel a hole in my heart. I was camping much of the past week, so very busy and away from home.... And now that is done and I am home and I am staring at the corner where his crate was. I am looking at the spots where he used to like to chill out (behind the rocker,) and he's not there. 

I think part of me expected the people who took Tuckies for the "trial" to call and say ENOUGH ALREADY THIS DOG IS NUTS! but they didn't. We talked several times and they recounted funny stories. Tuckies got her blush brush out of her makeup case and apparently painted himself. Someone didn't clip the bottom part of the crate all the way and he got loose in the house and greeted them when they came home. He is apparently a major bed hog with them and they laughingly said they are going to have to get a bigger bed. I'm told he loves to lounge on the window seat and watch outside. 

They love him, they do. I don't know how many people would love his antics!? but they do. This dog can open windows, lift toilet seats and get into coolers. He loves to eat bars of soap. He likes to lay on your head. 

Tonight and especially tomorrow will probably be the worst because I'm back from camping and into normal "routines" and Tucker was of course a huge part of each morning's routine. 

The house feels abnormally quiet without one or the other of them whining and wanting / needing something.

I feel guilty.

However, I know that as of right now, Tucker is in a house with a family of four who all think he's pretty awesome. He's settling into a routine. He is getting more attention than he's gotten in his eight months with me.  I tried! I gave it my all! I never would've given him up had the boys not developed issues. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise in a way.. neither boy was getting the full amount of what they needed in terms of time and training. I don't know, I'm rambling because I hurt.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

Foster grief hurts, and the longer you have them the more it hurts. You didn't fail him though--you made his new happy life possible! You were his bridge to get to where he is supposed to be. That's an enormous accomplishment.

That knowledge my not lessen your sense of loss and grief at having him move on, but it should vanquish any sense of regret or guilt. You did very, very well by him!


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Magwart said:


> Foster grief hurts, and the longer you have them the more it hurts. You didn't fail him though--you made his new happy life possible! You were his bridge to get to where he is supposed to be. That's an enormous accomplishment.
> 
> That knowledge my not lessen your sense of loss and grief at having him move on, but it should vanquish any sense of regret or guilt. You did very, very well by him!


Thank you, Magwart. I'm not dealing with this very well. Can't stop bawling. I do like the bridge analogy. I can't seem to shake this feeling of having abandoned him. I want to go pick him back up right now, but that's selfish and only based on how much I miss him. It is so much more real now that we're back home from our trip. 

There's no more crate and rotate... this just feels so strange. But -- I'm going to take comfort in the fact that Tuckie is happy and uncrated in his new house and things here are very peaceful and all dogs are also uncrated and loose without any doggy tensions. 

Thank you so much for your support, it means the world just now. :hug:


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

Aww Chelle. All I can say is the old, tired cliche "Time heals all". 

But it's true. It is.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Any updates? Are you OK?


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