# I'm shattered



## JohnR2010 (Mar 22, 2010)

I know that I just registered here and no one knows who I am, but I searched online for support after losing my dog over the weekend and I need to let this all out. This is a German Shepherd forum, so I know you guys will know exactly how I'm feeling. I'm sorry if this is all over the place, I just found out that I lost her today and my mind is shooting all over the place.

I got Roxie when I was in the sixth grade. She wasn't my first choice. My neighbor's dog had a batch of puppies and there was the prettiest grey one in the group. It was the only grey one. The rest were solid colored, except this extremely mean puppy that had a white tip on her tail (I say this because we used to feed the puppies, and she would literally shove others out of the way to get to the food). I had begged my parents to let me adopt it, promising to take good care of it. They finally agreed. When we approached our neighbors about it, they informed us that someone had bought the one I wanted.

I was torn. I had wanted that dog so bad. We went to the pound a few days later to adopt a dog, only to discover that the people that had bought the dog dropped it off at the pound overnight. Unbelievable. We adopted him and I took him home. I named him Lucky, since he had been saved. A few days later, we noticed he hadn't been acting right so we took him to the vet. He had several diseases. The vet wanted to keep him overnight and give him medicine, but the diseases overcame him and he died overnight at the vet. I was pretty upset. The only dog left was the mean one with the white tail. Little did I know that the mean white dog would end up being my best friend.

I took good care of her. She had a huge backyard to play in, we had a decent sized pool that she LOVED to jump in and swim around in (but only when we were in the pool too, obviously). She even taught herself how to use the step ladder to get into and out of the pool. I thought this was impressive. It's easy for a dog to figure out how to go down stairs, but I was pretty amazed that she should climb up and out of the pool with minimal help from me.

She wasn't very fond of anyone that wasn't in the family. When I brought my girlfriend (now ex) over, she would bark at her and try to attack her (my dog was on the deck, she was looking in through the glass door). She slowly became more and more fond of her, mainly due to treat giving, until they were good friends.

I remember playing Basketball during the summer.. she would run and jump at the ball while I was dribbling it and then use her nose to push it all around the yard. I used to play extreme fetch with her, where I would toss a ball, and when she would run back to me with it, I would toss another one and she would run and get that one, keeping her constantly running. 

My proudest moment with her, though, was teaching her how to high five. I literally trained her to jump in the air and tag my hand when I said "high five!".  During the summer, I would get several freeze pops and hold them in front of her. She would pick one, run up to the deck, and wait for me to cut it open for her.

Sigh.

Late last year, around September, she slipped and fell on the floor. I chalked it up to the kitchen floor being freshly mopped. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of the end.

I moved out (yes, at 23. I had some financial issues that prevented me from moving out) shortly afterwards, but when I visited home (weekly), I would notice that she would be getting worse and worse. The vet said that she had a degenerative spinal disease, or something along those lines. We were told that as it progressed, Roxie would lose feeling in her back legs, then she would be unable to hold her bowels or bladder. He said at that point, it would be time to put her down. He predicted that it would be by Christmas.

Ha! He was wrong. I enjoyed Christmas 2009 with Roxie in good spirits, though she had limited use of her back legs. She got a bunch of toys as well as chew bones.. she used to carry one of her squeaky toys around like a little kid with a stuffed animal.

As predicted, she lost use of her back legs. She lost control of her bowels. She lost control of her bladder a few times. I could tell she was in pain. She would sometimes whimper. I knew it had to be done, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

For the past few months, every single time I went over there, I feared that it would be the last time I would see her. I sat in the floor with her and held her paw. When I sat down next to her, she would roll on her side and hold her paw up. I would hold it and tell her how much I loved her, and she would take her head and bury it into my knee and I would give her the biggest hug imaginable.

I work a pretty demanding retail job and don't have a lot of free time. It's been particularly bad lately, with local stores closing and employees working more than normal. It's been sunny and 70+ degrees. I finally had a day off (today), but when I awoke, it was 50-55 degrees and pouring rain. I didn't think anything of it. I went to a few places with my roommate, and right when I pulled into my parking lot, I recieved a call.

I don't know if I have a sixth sense or what, but I can tell when something huge is about to happen. My mom had told me on Friday that she was sick and I shouldn't visit this weekend (and she literally was sick, stomach bug going around work), so I hadn't went. She told me that it was done Friday (she didn't tell me on Friday or Saturday because I worked 9 hour shifts each day and she knew this would gut me). I immediately told her that I had to go and threw the phone in the back seat.

I stepped outside and the world seemed different. I stood in the pouring rain. I didn't care. I had just been told that I had lost my best friend.

As I sit typing this, I am still in disbelief. I asked that we save her collar, at the very least. I don't want to visit my parent's house in the near future for any reason.

The thing that kills me the most.. when I went over there last, for some reason, I didn't do the traditional thing. I was in a hurry and I didn't sit down with her. She watched me as I walked room to room. I did pet her, tell her she was a good girl and that I loved her, but I didn't sit down and give her a hug like I usually do. What were her final thoughts like? Did she think she did something wrong or that we were mad at her? Did she know that I loved her?

As I sit typing this, I can't stop the tears that stream down my face. I'm not a cryer by nature, I'm just not, but this situation has left me completely shattered. I feel emotionally numb, and I don't know what I'm going to do when I see one of her toys (I'm never going to hear her squeak it again..), when I see her bed.. oh god, I think there's still some doggie yogurt in the freezer.. how do you guys deal with this? This isn't the first dog that I've lost, but this is the first dog that I've had since she was born. She was 14. I wish I could get a picture of her on here.. I'll work on that. She was the most photogenic dog.. I swear, she smiled for pictures..

I'm sorry that this ran a little long.. I just have no one else that I can rant to that would understand how I'm feeling right now. I just feel so lost and hopeless. I lost my best friend.


----------



## Raziel (Sep 29, 2009)

I am very sorry to hear this. Lucky loves you VERY VERY much.
And will be waiting for you.
She will always be with you.


----------



## GSDSunshine (Sep 7, 2009)

i am so sorry for your loss. Your story was very touching. There will always be things that we wished we could go back and change, but I'm sure your girl knew you loved her. Dogs always seem to know those things.


----------



## marksmom3 (Dec 17, 2007)

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure Lucky knew how much you loved her, and she can run free without pain now.

RIP Lucky. :halogsd:


----------



## IllinoisNative (Feb 2, 2010)

I'm crying just reading your post and, boy, do I understand. I lost my Golden 7 years ago and I still cry about it. I am racked by feelings of guilt. Did I appreciate her enough? Did she know I loved her? I feel like I took her for granted because I just assumed she'd always be there. I didn't take her to dog parks like I do with my current dogs. I didn't do a lot of things with her that my current dogs get to do. It's probably why the dogs I had after her are allowed on my couch and bed. Guilt does those things to you. She died in arms and I cried like a baby. I don't remember ever crying that hard in my life. I cry just thinking about it.

I just know I'm a better dog mommy because of her.

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss but I know that doesn't make it better. She was very lucky to have you and I know she loved you.


----------



## Basil2010 (Mar 17, 2010)

I cried too. And time heals and know one likes to hear that...but your love of your dog...will remain in your in heart. Also you will stop crying and thinking of all of the fun you had with lucky ...I promise just belive... we are blessed to have them I our lives. Even for a short time...


----------



## Melina (Feb 20, 2010)

Oh man, I'm crying too. Seriously. This stuff gets me as well. She knows you loved her, no doubt about it. I wish I could say more...


----------



## Jessiewessie99 (Mar 6, 2009)

OMG i am soo sorry.I tried to keep from crying.Roxie knows you loved you very much.She will be wating for you, no matter how long it takes.I know exactly what you're going through. I lost my dogs Max & Simba, they were brother & sister, lost them both the same year.I had them all my life, I was 15 they were 14.They were my best friends.After they passed on, I thought I couldn't move on. or have another dog.Molly was born exactly 6 days Simba passed away, and Tanner acts the same way as Max, and Molly acts alot like Simba.I think my dogs knew how much I loved them so they left a little piece of them here on earth,for me to remember them.She knows you miss her and she misses you.Everynight before you go to bed look up at Sirius, the dog star, my dad said thats where doggie heaven is. I was 14.lol.She is there looking down on you.

Hopefully you will feel better.Maybe she left a little piece of her on Earth.=)


----------



## JohnR2010 (Mar 22, 2010)

I'm sorry, I should've been a little clearer.. Lucky was the one that died so many years ago.. the only souvenir I have of him was a little tag that I had engraved at PetsMart with my allowance.. he only got to wear it for a day or two..

Roxie is the one that I'm mourning, she was 14.

I really appreciate the kind words, I really, really do.. it does help to know that I'm definitely not alone. I feel like calling out of work because I've cried so much today that I've literally made myself sick, but I think the work will take my mind off of the situation, if only for a little bit.

I know what you mean, IllinoisNative. At this point, I'm going through my mind and thinking about all of the times I was mean to her or scolded her if she had done something wrong and it's killing me.

One thing that I will never, ever forget.. I would sit a ball on the ground and go "I'm gonna kick it!" and she would get into a stance because she knew she would have to run. Well, once, she decided to be impatient and make a dash for the ball right when my leg was coming down to kick it and I ended up kicking her full force in the jaw. She didn't yelp, she didn't even act stunned at all, but I literally hugged her for a good three minutes at least to make sure she was okay. She was built like a truck.. a car hit her in her younger years when she got out of the gate once and broke her leg.. she had it in a cast. She kept trying to play but could only hobble around the yard. For the rest of her life, any time she would take a drink of water (we had a huge bucket outside that we filled with fresh water), she would submerge her whole left leg into the water. I don't know if it just felt good or if her leg was in pain and that helped it or what, but if it was ever in pain, she never showed it.

But Roxie and Lucky were indeed brother and sister.

My ex was pretty upset when I told her about it. She had nicknamed Roxie "Princess" and got her a shiny collar that said "Princess" on it, which she wore for years, even after she and I broke up. I still have it. 

I was doing okay tonight, but my roommate and I were driving to the store and we had to pass the vet where it was done.. I lost it again.

It doesn't seem fair. I don't recall Roxie ever being sick with anything her entire life. She was always healthy, ALWAYS. We NEVER had a problem with her.. and this stupid disease comes along and shatters my world. I don't understand how it's plagued so many dogs and caused so many people and animals pain, yet there's no treatment.

I don't think that I can get another dog after Roxie. It would feel like I'm cheating on her memory or something. I can't imagine how I'm going to be once I go home, open the kitchen door and she's not there waiting for me.

Anyways, thanks for the support guys, I do appreciate it. It's extremely rough and it helps to talk to people that have been through this before. Like I said, I've been close with animals that have passed on, and I do miss them all dearly, but there was something about Roxie. I don't know if it's German Shepherds or what, but she read me like a book. If I was ever upset, she would run up to me and check on me, she was always there for me, and I'm not going to lie, I took it for granted. I always thought that she'd be there for me. I never thought that I would live to see the day that she would pass away because I knew that it would kill me emotionally and I was right.

I was going through my other computer tonight and I stumbled upon a few pictures that I have taken of her. I don't have any pictures of Lucky, like I said, I only had him for a week or so before he passed from a disease, but here's Roxie, the one that was laid to rest on March 19th. I have a lot less pictures of her on here than I thought I did. If you look closely at the one of her laying on the floor, you can see the white tip on her tail that I was talking about.. also, there's one of her posing with her little teddy bear that she carried around..  You can also see her favoring her front left paw.. this is from where she was hit by the car. The leg fully healed but she always held her paw up like that afterwards.


----------



## abby (Mar 13, 2010)

I am so sorry you lost your girl to this awful disease such a beautiful and dignified girl


----------



## Trina (Sep 11, 2009)

John, your post made me cry, I can so identify with your pain. The sudden and unexpected death of our 9 yr old German Shepherd is what brought me here as well. I understand your need to find others that can sympathize with the grief you are experiencing.

It sounds like Roxie was an awesome pal and from her pictures, I can tell she was a beautiful girl-I love her smile!

It will take a while before the crying jags stop and you'll be able to remember her fondly. Also, no rush to get another dog, you'll know when you're ready (and it may come sooner than you think.)

Take care.


----------



## Jelpy (Nov 8, 2009)

On Joy and Sorrow
_ Kahlil Gibran_

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.



I hope this gives you comfort as it once did for me.

Jelpy​


----------



## GSDBESTK9 (Mar 26, 2002)

I'm so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.


----------



## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

John,

So you're one of the lucky ones-one of those who grew up with a wonderful, intuitive companion who will forever be the standard against any other dog is measured. You were never alone in your adolescence and Roxie always understood you.

Now-with what she taught you-you're equipped for life. 

Truly, though, it is heart-breaking right now.

Mary Jane


----------



## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I am so sorry for your loss;(( Roxy was a beautiful girl. May all those sweet memories you have of her will help you thru. She sounds like she was a lovely girl.


----------



## IllinoisNative (Feb 2, 2010)

JohnR2010 said:


> I feel like calling out of work because I've cried so much today that I've literally made myself sick, but I think the work will take my mind off of the situation, if only for a little bit.


Well, I did call out of work when my dog died. And when I finally went back, they sent me home because I was crying too much. Heh. The next day I went to a shelter and got a new puppy. He's my German Shepherd/Rottie mix. I've never regretted the decision. Some people need to wait. I need to have something else to focus on. 



> I know what you mean, IllinoisNative. At this point, I'm going through my mind and thinking about all of the times I was mean to her or scolded her if she had done something wrong and it's killing me.


That's what KILLED me. I still suffer from guilt. I also have a hard time getting past the fact that she trusted me when I took her to the vet when I made the decision to put her down (cancer). Even though it was for the best, it still haunts me.



> I was doing okay tonight, but my roommate and I were driving to the store and we had to pass the vet where it was done.. I lost it again.


It's going to take time. I cried on and off for a year. Even now, when I think about it, I dissolve in a puddle.

Beautiful pictures, btw.:wub:


----------



## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

No matter how long they live, it is never long enough. Dogs are forgiving - she forgave your shortcomings long ago. Someday the good thoughts will outweigh the sorrow. You will look back at the time with Roxy with more laughter than tears.

I have the perspective that there is no greater honor to my past dogs than the need I feel to have another live with me. Each dog that has shared my home has left a legacy of my learning for the dogs that follow. The current pup is pretty darned rich.


----------



## robinhuerta (Apr 21, 2007)

You were perfect in your best friend's eyes.....always forgiving, always loving, always protective, always nurturing....this is how animals view their humans.
I just lost my best friend Drago, 48hrs ago....so I am feeling the same pain that you are. I asked myself the same questions....thought the same things....I feel the same guilt.
KNOW that your special best friend only knew the great things about you!
Animals have the ability to see past our short comings and love us unconditional anyway......
You have my sincerest sympathy, may you find comfort in knowing others share your pain.
Robin


----------



## HeidiW (Apr 9, 2009)

What a beautiful girl your Roxie was!! Sounds like you gave her a wonderful life!!
I know exactly how you feel about her loss and your guilt been there at one time myself. Now you learn and some day when your healed and older have more time you will be ready again to get another best friend.


----------



## StarryNite (Jun 2, 2009)

I am SO SO sorry for your loss  The pushy pup with the white at the end of her tail  Is the makings of a Disney movie... God bless you and Lucky and I am sure that Lucky is very happy playing ball at the bridge waiting for you! It was obviously meant to be for you and Lucky to spend the time together you two had!


----------



## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

john, 
all beings are made of energy
energy cannot be destroyed, only transformed
roxie's love and energy are still with you
as long as you can remember her

please don't dwell on the negatives
when you have those guilty thoughts
visualize the little red circle with the line thru it
and quickly and silently say to yourself, stop!

then shift your thoughts to what a
beautiful
and smart
and sweet
and loyal
and brave
and dignified girl miss roxie was
and think instead of some wonderful memory
you have of her

cry as much and as often as you need to
it is the body's way of getting rid of lots of
bad chemicals
and a healthy way to release your feeliings
of sadness

someday you will find there are no more tears
and only the love will remain
and as soon as you can 
even tho right now you may think that's never
honor her memory
by giving a home and your love and your care
to another one (one in need of rescue is especially rewarding)
because there is no better way
to continue the legacy of love
that your roxie has left to you

and to roxy
rest in peace dear sheppy girl
your memory lives on
in those who loved you

take good care john, this is definitely a place where people understand your feelings.


----------



## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I am sorry for your loss. I am glad that you were able to give her a long and happy life.


----------



## Nicnivin (Nov 6, 2009)

I totally cried... I am so sorry for your loss. :halogsd:


----------



## GSDtravels (Dec 26, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss, we've all been there. I know exactly how you're feeling right now and it's about as bad as it can get. Your gut just aches. Let me say though, that you were lucky to have had her for 14 years. It is actually not so common to have a GSD for that long. Though DM is an awful disease, it sometimes takes them at a much younger age. It is wonderful that she was part of both your childhood and adulthood and also, that's what is making it so difficult to let go. Keep her in your heart and your memories will eventually make you smile, instead of crying. She will always be your "once in a lifetime" dog and nothing can take that away. Don't let this loss dull you so much that you can't go on to love another. She would want that too, I'm sure of it. Cry, hurt, heal. Deepest sympathies.


----------



## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

John,

Like so many others, I was crying by the time I finished reading about your beautiful Roxie. You're very lucky to have had such a wonderful dog to grow up with. They never live long enough. But don't worry, Roxie knew you loved her and you know she loved you in return.

Here's a poem a friend sent me when I lost my Niki. I hope it means as much to you as it did to me.

*I'M Here
*I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

Author unknown


----------



## Sashmom (Jun 5, 2002)

Roxie was so beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. I went thru the guilt thing, too. It ishorrible. For 6 mo, at least, I just felt LOST. I remember the last time I took Sashi for a walk and when we walked by the SUV and looked up at it with an expectant look:teary: and I wished I wouldve just taken him for a short ride, he LOVED to ride. 
It does get better with time. It is so hard tho when you first loose them. 
All in All though I think we should just remember the good times and it looks like Roxie was very much loved and knew it.


----------



## Karin (Jan 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry, John. I'm sitting here in tears after reading your beautiful tribute to Roxy. I know what it is like to lose your heart dog. We got Sheba as a puppy when my husband and I were first married. We never had kids so it was always just the three of us. When she died at age 11 of cancer, my husband and I lost a huge part of ourselves, our lives, our daily routine, our happiness. It took a long time to come to terms with it and yes, we were guilt-ridden too, wondering if we could have done more for her, wondering if we let her go too soon or let her suffer too long.

But in time, you will heal and when you think of Roxie, you will remember the good times and the fun you used to have together--not the sadness and loss. We didn't get another dog for 14 years after we lost Sheba. In hindsight, I wish we hadn't waited that long, but my husband just wasn't ready.

Take care of yourself and know that you are very fortunate to have been in the company, and to have even grown up with, such a wonderful dog who loved you so much. Roxie was a beautiful, smart girl, and she (and you) were really lucky that you took a chance on that scrappy, ornery puppy with the white tail. :hugs:


----------



## smerry (Dec 5, 2009)

So sorry,


----------



## littlemikey (Mar 27, 2010)

john, i hear you loud and clear. its the worst, most brutal, inconceivable pain you will hopefully ever go through. the bad news is, is that it doesnt really go away any time soon, you just get used to it. Its when you get used to it, your mind can navigate its way through the grief, and things start to get better.

I lost my dog 3 months ago today, i was in the same situation as you, coming home to check on him, until he just couldnt go on anymore. I can say without a doubt that, that day and the 4 days leading up to it were the worst days of my life by a long shot.

I don't know if youre a religious or spiritual man, but I was able to find some comfort by saying this prayer everyday:

Thank you God
For peace of mind as I pray
Knowing that (your dogs name - Roxie)
Is right now in Your loving care
As You watch over her in heaven

As you say this picture her doing the things she loved to do the most, and picture her in the greatest care any thing could be in. Our dogs are in heaven right now, they know theyre gonna see us again, and arent worried a bit about it.

And dont feel bad about the crying, i do it every night before i go to bed (I think i sound like Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall)


----------



## JohnR2010 (Mar 22, 2010)

Thank you all so much for taking time out of your life to send me messages and post poems here. You've really let me know that I'm not alone in my pain. I'm thankful that communities like this exist.

I've avoided the forums for a while now because honestly, I haven't wanted to deal with it. I know that sounds hateful and rude, and I don't mean it to be.. I just wanted to keep my head down and continue with work and pretend nothing happened. I've had to visit my parent's house several times since then and I have to pretend like she's either missing or at the vet or something. I can't cope. At this point, it feels like I won't ever be able to cope. Every time I think about her, I get this empty/sick feeling in my gut. It makes me want to make the drive to see her, but I know she won't be there. In my mind, I see her staring at me, and she's silently asking "what are they going to do to me/why are they going to do this to me?".. and I end up crying. Like I said, I'm not a cryer by nature. It's not like I've never cried before, I have, but I usually cope better than this.

My parents opted to get her creamated instead of just buried. The urn is back. I visited my parent's on Easter and I asked them to hide it because I wasn't ready to see it yet. The eventual plan is to bring it with me to my apartment and take her favorite collar (literally.. she had three collars and she always wanted to wear this one.. my ex got it for her) and put it around the urn. I never did bring her over my apartment.. I couldn't, she couldn't make it up the flight of stairs and there's no guarantee she wouldn't have had an accident here, since she really didn't have control of her bladder or bowels anymore.

That's not weird, is it? I haven't told my girlfriend yet because I'm afraid of her response. I hate to do it because I've always thought that it was weird to have an urn with someone's remains in it, but I totally get it now, and I want nothing more than to have her back here. I've felt so lost and depressed.. it feels like it's been months but it's barely been three weeks.. my parent's cats keep going around looking for her.. I see pictures of her laying around, I saw a transparent box in the garage full of her toys.. I just can't accept the fact that she's gone. I can't believe it.. I don't want to believe it..

I feel childish for acting this way, but she was _my_ dog. She was the first dog that I owned from birth to death and I feel like I failed her. I'm going to feel nothing but guilt every single day for the rest of my life.

and lol @ littlemikey.. I'm a silent cryer, but it's okay to bawl, even like Peter.


----------



## Samba (Apr 23, 2001)

It takes some time to begin to reconstruct life around the reality of their loss. So sorry for you because I know it causes real pain and it feels like some moorings in life have given way. 

My son is 25 and he recently moved out. His dog is 14 and he knows that her days are limited. She has been around much of his life like your girl was. It will be hard. 

I think we all feel guilty at the end. Hopefully, you will come to dwell more on the good memories than any guilt you feel. I don't know your take on things, but for me, I think you can still "tell" them things. Perhaps you could write her a letter sometime. I want to do that for my dog I lost as I think it might help me actually... but can't bring myself to it as yet. It all takes time.

We all experience our grief in our own way, but for sure, you are not alone in this.


----------



## Magic Dog (Apr 11, 2010)

I know what you are going through now, and I know what it was like to suffer through that incidious disease. I just lost my boy, Diesel on April 5 after 13.5 years together. I hope that you know that Roxie knows you loved her and she will miss you as much as you miss her.


----------



## elsie (Aug 22, 2001)

:hug::hug::hug:


----------



## Wolfiesmom (Apr 10, 2010)

What a beautiful girl! I understand how you feel, having lost my Chief 10 years ago, I finally had the heart last month to get a new puppy. I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## dianefbarfield (Apr 12, 2010)

So sorry about your loss. I wish our dogs had the same life length as us.


----------



## rockhead (Jul 8, 2007)

John, you are alot like me - you are a writer, and your words are full of love and devotion. 

Please check out the sticky thread in this forum called "The Recovery Process". Trust me, you are in the right place.


----------



## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

What a sweet-looking and beautiful girl. And to live to 14! I am so deeply sorry for your loss.


----------



## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Roxie. Your tribute(s) to her has me in tears, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Rest In Peace dear Roxie xx


----------

