# We had to say goodbye today



## suzklau (Dec 27, 2007)

I know everyone on this website will understand what we are going though as a family at this time. We had to make the decision tonight to say good bye to our friend Caesar. He would have been 13 years old in December. He was the absolutely best dog in the world. We have a younger pup to help us but they are so individual. I swear I will never forget how he looked at me with his lovely deep brown eyes and gave me licks. I feel so badly for doing it, but the vet assured us otherwise. What scares me more than anything is that he seemed to look at me while the medicine was taking affect. Did he know what we were doing to him? He was having great difficulty walking as his back legs were so bad and his back also. He had difficulty getting up, lying down and couldn't turn around in a small space. I just feel so badly that he may have been aware of us as he was going off to sleep. I feel like I have so made the wrong decision - I don't know what to think. 

Sorry for the ramblings
Susan (Caesar is pictured in my icon)


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## VALIUM (Nov 15, 2007)

Susan I'm so sorry, but I think he knew you did this to help him. He knew you loved him so much. They feel everything. I'm so sorry, it must be horrible, i can feel your pain. You did the right decision...R.I.P Ceaser...


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## Keegan62 (Aug 17, 2008)

I am so sorry for you
I know what it's like to lose such a loved one
I miss my beloved ERNIE so much he also was a great wonderful dog..... I was Lucky I did not have to make that decision but have had to in the past

He was looking at you in thanks and love for not letting him suffer anymore,,,, and he was looking at you to say that he was thankful for the life you gave him and was sad he had to leave you but he was in pain.....when the legs and back go its really hard on him

You are a wonderful pet owner in letting him go when it was time...... the hardest part of pet ownership

Bless you for not letting him suffer


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## suzklau (Dec 27, 2007)

Thank you so much. Your words have made me feel like I am not such a monster that I think I am at the moment. I would never forgive myself if I had made the wrong decision.


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## marksteven (Aug 2, 2008)

im sorry too. i made the same decision in march of this year.in a half hours time i must have said to my vet "i dont know what to do"
buck could barely walk more or less stand up. 6 months later i have a new pup and realize it was the best decision to let Buck finally go to sleep for good but it has not gotten any better for me


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## littledmc17 (Apr 9, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear about Caesar. It is a hard decision and I think he looked at you to say its ok mom and I love you.

I know it feels like you did the wrong thing in your heart but you did the right thing for him.

Anything you need let us know.
Thoughts are with you


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## dOg (Jan 23, 2006)

I think they know we're freeing them from the pain of a tired and sick frame, and we can hardly blame them for taking a last look at us before they see the light.

Be good to yourself, grief is normal, but the relief of not having to worry about that pain, and what it might bring next is mixed into the equation too. Cherish the memories, and create new ones with those still with you. The dreaded moment is over, Caesar is free, and no doubt loving you all still.

My deepest condolences.

<span style="color: #3333FF">Bet this helps!</span>


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## ripgretchen (Jul 29, 2008)

Just like everyone else, I can understand what you and your family are going through. Over the summer we lost our Gretchen at 8 y/o to perianal fistula. 3 weels ago we added 2 gsd puppies to our family. Then sadly, on Thursday we lost one of them to parvo. Needless to say, the last few months have been very difficult. I still cry often about Gretchen. I don't think that pain will ever go away because she was truly an amazing girl.
I will keep you in my prayers. Please know though that it's not your fault. You did what was best for your best friend. Take care and God Bless.


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## GSDTrain (Apr 21, 2008)

i am sorry to hear about your loss.

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}








Ceaser


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

We will soon go thru this as well, taking it one day at a time. Thank you for sharing, it will help me when the time comes
Run painfully free Caeser


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## JenM66 (Jul 28, 2005)

You are NOT wrong, please don't feel that way about yourself. I feel it would be a good thing if when humans start to fail, we could help them like we can our animals. Cesear was failing. It was better to do this than to have him suffer. Think, perphaps, that his eyes were saying to you, "Thank you mom for helping me. I feel better now."


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

Susan, please don't be troubled that Caeser was looking at you as he passed. He was just sharing his love for you. 

I know you miss him and pups are great but not the same as our pal that we were so comfortable with for years.

Maybe you need to do some therapeutic stuff, go in your pictures fine the ones you like the best. Write down all the things that Caeser did you make you smile and or laugh. Those are the things that Caeser wants you to remember. 

God only loans us these great creatures, because he knew that there would be more great creatures than great homes and owners, so he knew he couldn't let us keep them for our life time. Each dog I have had and had to let go breaks my heart but I remember each one for the joy, love and their loyalty. Each one has a special place in my heart.

Time lessens the pain, remember all the good times helps us.

Hugs
Val


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## bullet395 (Jun 18, 2007)

Do not second guess yourself on this decision. You did the noblest of deeds that one can. You loved him the whole time you had him and he knew that. You were with him to comfort him when the time came for him to depart you. This is one of the final responsibilities that we have with these beloved creatures. It is far better the way you did it than for him to pass on his own with you not there, then to come home or wake up with him deceased. You got to say goodbye to eachother, and this is a wonderful thing.


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## jesusica (Jan 13, 2006)




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## marksmom3 (Dec 17, 2007)

Peace and prayers to you Susan. RIP Caesar.


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## Sashmom (Jun 5, 2002)

Im so sorry. Its so hard to let them go but do you know the Rainbow Bridge poem? When my dog died a friend sent it to me. i hope its all true. RIP Caesar


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## sd3567 (May 16, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## suzklau (Dec 27, 2007)

I just want to say you are all wonderful people. I don't post very often and when I do it is never of much interest, but this has been overwhelming and a great comfort to me. It's funny, we only paid $100 for him (he came with us from the States to Australia) and his nature and temperament was out of this world! He was so special - as they all are to their owners. My poor husband has the job to bury him on Monday so the kids are at school. 

Thanks and God bless you all


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss. I had to put my 12.5yo to sleep this February, I understand what you are going through. I think that saving them from a slow death and days of pain and suffering is the ultimate gift we can give to our beloved companions. You did the right thing and it is very hard. Please read the thread "Do they know?" in the "preparing to say good bye" section. It answers some of your questions.

This is a beautiful version of the Rainbow Bridge that brought me some comfort

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

Susan, I am so sorry for your family's loss. I know how heartbreaking it is and what a horrible decision to have to make. I just made it in April, so the pain is still there for me also. My thoughts and prayers are with you all...

* "I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you, but because I loved you too much to force you to stay."  * 

It is the greatest gift of love you could have given Caesar.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

I am very sorry for your loss and want to reassure you that you did the humane thing for your Caesar. 

I hope you will take comfort in the memories of all of the wonderful times you shared.


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## moei (Sep 28, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: KShort
> 
> * "I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you, but because I loved you too much to force you to stay."  *


That says it so beautifully and I agree. You cared too much to let him suffer. Take care.








Caesar


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## Sean Rescue Mom (Jan 24, 2004)

> Originally Posted By: SusanKI swear I will never forget how he looked at me with his lovely deep brown eyes and gave me licks.


The same exact thing happened with our Persian cat, Neeko. As the vet gave him the injection he looked right up at me with his somber copper eyes. 
My sincere and deepest sympathies go out to you. RIP sweet Caesar.


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## valb (Sep 2, 2004)

You are not a monster. How could you be... monsters are people 
who don't care so deeply about their decisions.

He was a handsome boy. I hope coming here and reading these
messages of comfort help you... as they did me when I lost my
girl March 17th, 2007. It still hurts, and probably always will.

<<hugs>>


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## Kayla's Dad (Jul 2, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss.

Please know that you did what was best and out of love for your companion. Our hearts and prayers go out to you during this time.








Caesar


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## ninhar (Mar 22, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss. We can so easily second guess ourselves whether or not it was time. You made the most selfless decision that one can make, you set him free from his body that had grown old and worn.


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## Karin (Jan 4, 2008)

I'm really sorry for you and your family, Susan. Caesar sounds like he was a wonderful boy, and he's so cute and sweet looking in his photo.

You did the right thing. Please don't feel guilty. It takes a special kind of courage and love to let them go when you know in your heart it is time. 

Rest in peace, sweet Caesar.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

RIP, Caesar.









Your family loved you and you will be missed.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

I'm so sorry, it's a terrible decision to have to make, but it sounds like it was his time. Goodbye sweet Caesar.


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## Smithie86 (Jan 9, 2001)

Take care.

Everett said it well - your focus was on Caeser and what was best.

I know it is hard, but take comfort in the time you spent togther. As someone said to me in the spring; Congrats for your years together.


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## elsie (Aug 22, 2001)

my sympathies to you and your family.
making that decision is the hardest thing for a pet owner to do. we hope we are doing the right thing for them, easing their pain and setting their spirits free; then we hurt so badly not only because there is a huge huge void in our lives but also because we did it. as hard as it may seem to understand, it is the last act of kindness we can express to them. and as they look in our eyes as they drift off, they see the love we have for them and they take that with them.


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## rockhead (Jul 8, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: SusanK I feel like I have so made the wrong decision - I don't know what to think.


That's normal, but you have to realize what you did was a merciful release from pain. Our dogs live in the moment. A dog in pain cannot rationalize "Hey, I've had a great life... I should expect a little discomfort and pain at the end." They entrust us with their very being, and those of us who truly understand the gravity of that responsibility are the ones who suffer the most. Letting them go is the hardest thing we can do... believe me... I know. 

It wasn't going to get any better for Caeser. He left this world with dignity. You did the right thing.


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

Susan, I truly believe that in the most ideal of worlds, the vast majority of humans would want to die surrounded by their loved ones while they still had their dignity, before pain and suffering became overwhelming. To be held by the one we love the most. At the last minute, to look over and say "I love you. Thank you," and to fall to peacefully to sleep.

You were able to give this to Caesar. You could have waited. You could have let him "live out his life." You could have just held on because it was easier for you to do nothing than to make a decision; and because, gosh darn it, we always want one more day, or two, or three. But you didn't. You gave him a peaceful ending. Endings are always difficult, but they can bring us peace if we let ourselves look at it that way because we know that they were right. It wasn't easy, but you gave him what many of us want for ourselves. 

A life full of dignity and love is a right. All dogs are entitled to that. A death of dignity and love is a miracle. Congratulations for giving your beloved Caesar that as well. 

My heartfelt sympathy for your loss. I can imagine the depths of your grief. Please be gentle with yourself -- Caesar would want that for you. 

Take care.


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## doggonefool (Apr 15, 2004)

Susan,

We all share your pain and loss, though it may not help at this time. This is one of the few places where people truly understand and know what it feels like. While it is an extremely difficult to make the choice of whether or not it's the right time to let our loved ones go, it is the greatest gift to be able to release them from the suffering and pain that they are going through while tied to this life. Don't beat yourself up or feel guilty, you know in your heart, as all of us sharing your pain know in ours, that you did everything that you could for Caesar. Those last moments, looking into his eyes, are the moments when he may be seeing all of our babies over that rainbow bridge.

Carol


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## Crabtree (Jan 6, 2006)

> Originally Posted By: JenM66You are NOT wrong, please don't feel that way about yourself. I feel it would be a good thing if when humans start to fail, we could help them like we can our animals. Cesear was failing. It was better to do this than to have him suffer. Think, perphaps, that his eyes were saying to you, "Thank you mom for helping me. I feel better now."


I have to agree with JenM66
I went through this years ago with our little Scottie x she was 16 and had advanced cancer. She looked at me the whole time she was leaving and though at the time in my mind,I thought I had made a mistake, in my heart I think she was thanking me and keeping the bond until the very end.

I'm very sorry for your loss,







sweet Cesear


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

Oh dear Susan....

It is so hard when the body fails but the mind is sharp. Max will be there soon too I am afraid. 

Cesear is a good place and running free with Miss Dena. 

You made the most loving of all decisions for your friend. 


(((HUGS)))


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## suzklau (Dec 27, 2007)

You hit the nail on the head. He was still very alert. It was really an awful experience b/c when the vet started to shave his leg he snapped (he has never done this in his life) so the vet put a wretched muzzle on him. Also something he has never had on him. So he recommenced shaving the leg and he panicked. He got up, and I had hold of his head and was just holding him. At this point I was ready to tell him to stop, it just wasn't the 'peaceful' thing I thought it would be. I held him until he left his last breath and it was then that I saw his eye move. It really freaked me out. It was like he was fighting it. I still don't feel very comfortable with the decision.

I am so grateful to you all for helping me deal with this, it has really helped.


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## LuvourGSDs (Jan 14, 2007)

I know this is the hardest & worse part about being a pet owner, we have to make that decision in our pets life & it's so painful & hurts.........







One reason I couldn't be a vet tech or vet ! I know I would need to think of all the good cases, but the bad would just tear at my heart.

I am in the same boat about now with our Golden & hate the thought of needing to make that decision, but I think it will be soon. This will be our first dog we have ever lossed, TG. 

I just feel that there's comes a time when we need to make that decision for them so, they're not in pain or suffering anymore. It's the hardest thing in life we will ever have to do I feel. The guilt just stinks.

Remember the good times, not the last moments & know that he is in a wonderful place running free out of pain, playing with dear Dena & so many wonderful dogs from this board.........


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## Lauri & The Gang (Jun 28, 2001)

> Originally Posted By: SusanKI just feel so badly that he may have been aware of us as he was going off to sleep. I feel like I have so made the wrong decision - I don't know what to think.


Susan - I think having the dog look at you at that moment is a good thing.

At that moment the dog's pain ceases to exist. They feel peace. And the last thing they see is their beloved owner - who gave them that peace.

You made the right decision. The hardest one a pet owner can make - but the right one.


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## k9sarneko (Jan 31, 2007)

Susan, my heart is with you. 
I felt the same way when I had to choose this for my boy Brutus when he was suffering from cancer. I firmly believe that the greatest gift we can sometimes give our furry babies is letting them go and stoping their suffering. It is easy to love them and hold them close, its so hard to love them enough to let them go. He looked at you because he loved you so and knew that you loved him. He took the image of you with him to the bridge, and he will hold it with him for as long as it takes for you to meet again. 
Hold close to you all the good memories and the knowledge that he is once again young, healthy and whole, running and playing with our other loved babies.

Run free sweet man.


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## Jolynn (Oct 14, 2008)

R.I.P.Bearon.







he died a long time ago but we still dont
forget him.


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