# I'll never forget you Killian



## Killian10 (Feb 22, 2005)

Some of you may have been following my thread about Killian and his heart disease. Well today he got worse and unfortunately we had to part ways. I know it was for the best but honestly this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I'll mis you bud and I'll always love you.


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## GSDTrain (Apr 21, 2008)

Killian, you are gone but not forgotten...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Killian. I have been following your previous posts about him since the beginning. Atleast he was loved and lived a good life. It comes down to the quality of life rather than quantity of life. He did not suffer and you did what was best for him.

Again, Rest in Peace Killian....


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## DianaM (Jan 5, 2006)

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Run free and healthy, Killian.


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

He is so handsome! Please know I feel your pain of your loss of Killian. Time goes goes by so fast doesn't it?

RIP for him and you.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I am sorry for your loss. RIP Killian.


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## Kayla's Dad (Jul 2, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. As painful as it is, know that your decision reflects the depth of your love for Killian.
















Run free and without pain at the bridge Killian.


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## Sherush (Jan 12, 2008)

Killian

I am so very sorry for your lose.... I know how hard it was to lose him.....


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## elsie (Aug 22, 2001)

i am so sad that you lost your buddy killian.
deepest sympathies to you and your family.
i can see just from the few pictures you posted that he was greatly loved.

rip, killian.


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## srfd44-2 (May 20, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss. A thousand years would not be long enough for them to be with us. Remember the good times and that he is always around you.


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## bullet395 (Jun 18, 2007)

I've been following Killian's story since the start, I was hoping for the best and more time for you guys. Our time with these guys is precious. I know you loved him, and he knows you loved him also. I am sorry for your loss. Know that you did right by him, he knows that for sure.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss. We were all pulling so hard for Killian. It was clear how much you loved him and he knew that too. I hope you can take comfort in the memories you have of your time together.


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## Killian10 (Feb 22, 2005)

I keep second guessing my decision now, its driving me insane. I know it would have been selfish to bring him back home but at the same time I can't help but think what if something else could have been done. Hopefully this passes.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

i think we all do this. Honestly, my first dog was blind, deaf and could barely walk or breathe when the vet came to my house to pts and I STILL questioned my decision. It's a really, really hard thing to do to have to make a decision like that about someone else's life, someone who can't speak for themselves. But it really is a gift to them so that they no longer suffer.


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## Sean Rescue Mom (Jan 24, 2004)

So sorry for your loss, I'm sure there are many who have second thoughts. May your memories help you in the coming weeks and months. RIP sweet boy.


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## raysmom (May 22, 2004)

I just went to Killian's other thread to see how he was doing









I'm so sorry for your loss - he was such a handsome boy.

And Ruth is right - second guessing yourself and wondering about all the "what if's" is something that I think we all go through when we lose our precious furkids. 

As people will tell you, time really does heal. Of course you will never ever forget Killian, but in time, the good, happy memories will replace the pain of his loss.

Take care










*To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know
That I arrived okay.

I'm writting this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there are no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said " I welcome you

It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that He wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are always close to you.....
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years, because you are only human
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go....
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going....
you're coming here to me.

Anonymous *


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## Deuce'sMom (Jul 4, 2008)

What a beautiful dog he was and how lucky he was to be so loved for all these years. My condolences to you and your family.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

Oh gosh darn it!!!!!! Thought he was doing okay............ 


I am so so sorry!!!!! (((((HUGS))))))


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

I am sorry to read of this and you have my deepest sympathy that
your time with Killian was not as long as we all hoped for you.

It is also natural when you make this decision, to wonder if you
made this choice before you should have. But when you love your
dog as much as you did, please know that at the time the decision
was made, you would have been really seeing Killian's plight clearly.

It took me a long time to know my decision was right for my dog
but even if my dog could have been given a few more days, weeks
or whatever ..... my dog could also have suffered more during that
time and, if that had happened, I could not have forgiven myself.

Hugs to you and your family on the loss of beautiful Killian.


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## sd3567 (May 16, 2005)

I'm sorry for your loss.


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## littledmc17 (Apr 9, 2008)

Killian
he was so handsome and he was loved


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## Killian10 (Feb 22, 2005)

I'm having a huge problem with denying he's gone I keep expecting him to be around the corner. I filled up his food bowl out of habbit, looked for him ouside. I feel like i'm going nuts, I hope this ends soon.


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## Ilovealldogs (Nov 17, 2006)

> Originally Posted By: Killian10I'm having a huge problem with denying he's gone I keep expecting him to be around the corner. I filled up his food bowl out of habbit, looked for him ouside. I feel like i'm going nuts, I hope this ends soon.


I am so sorry that you are experiencing this, but it is common and may last for quite some time.







After my childhood dog passed away, I was grief-stricken for months until I convinced my parents to get another dog- not as a replacement, but to help fill the void. It did keep my mind off of it since I was so busy training the new pup and soon I was able to remember my first dog with much happiness instead of sorrow.


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## Killian10 (Feb 22, 2005)

You know a lot of people have been suggesting that but in some ways I feel like it would be disrespecting Killian. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, and honestly the sadness and anxiety I'm feeling right now ....I don't know if I could ever put myself through that again.


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

I'm not sure it ever ends, but I can promise you that it gets easier. I lost my Max in April and I was absolutely devastated. He wasn't the first I lost, but he was certainly the hardest. As the days went on, I came to peace with the decision we had made. And believe me - we all have those doubts. But if you think back to the very minute when you made the decision for Killian, I think you'll find that at that moment, it was exactly the right decision for the right reasons. As the days pass is when we starting doubting, because our grief is so strong that we tend to forget why we made the decision and start questioning our judgement.

I didn't want another dog and wasn't looking for one and I certainly wouldn't have picked one who looked like Max. But guess what - that's exactly who chose me. I was doing a transport and when he kept starting at me in the rear view mirror, I knew he was meant to be with me. Have I forgotten Max - never...not in this lifetime. But Sam has made me stop counting the days since Max has been gone and my heart feels happy again. I honestly believe that Max led him to me. I tell you this story so that hopefully you'll see that you too will feel joy again. 

I love the poem Raysmom posted. I would like to think that it's going to happen exactly that way. One of these days, we will see our loved ones again.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Run free and healthy beautiful boy...


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## marksmom3 (Dec 17, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Killian was a beautiful dog. RIP Killian.


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## jesmagmisty (Jul 13, 2001)

I'm so sorry for your loss of beautiful Killian. All I can say is that twice now we have lost a beautiful GSD quickly and suddenly (during surgery) and both times we ended up getting another pup shortly afterwards. You'll NEVER replace Killian. It is just like your own kids, you just have more room to love the next one. The positive thing that happened for us both times is that it kept us very, very busy working with a new pup. It keeps you from spending all of your time crying and thinking what if or should I.... The first few times the pup does something like your dog you lost, you cry and then the pup does it a few more times and you start smiling, thinking oh, that was just like Killian used to do and you end up with a very fond memory of a great friend and family member. It does get easier with time.
Best wishes!
Robbie


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## catht1977 (Sep 29, 2006)

Would just like to say that I am thinking of you. We are going through exactly the same thing here-we had to let our 12 year old dog go the day before you lost Killian. I am too upset to say much more but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone-I am feeling the exact same things that you have mentioned especially about getting a new dog. 
Rest in Peace Killian


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## GSDLoverII (May 12, 2004)

What a handsome boy. I'm so sorry for your loss. 










God Speed Killian


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss. I do understand the feelings you're going through now - I've felt them myself. I too had a time when I could not bear the thought of losing another dog or of accepting another dog in my dog's place. I went three years of my childhood with my father's and siblings' dogs around me but the loss of mine was so tragic there was nothing that was ever going to feel right again it seemed. And then I had my second dog when someone brought back a pup to my dad (he was a breeder) they realized they couldn't keep. It wasn't long before she found her way into my heart. Two lost souls together. She got me through a very difficult adolescence. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest of all because for the first time I was the one who had to make the decision. 

More time and more dogs have come and gone. Odin is my seventh GSD, Frigga my eighth. Baldur is my wife's dog but of course I am forming a bond with him as well. In the passing of so many dogs I have finally come to learn (at least for me) why we must go through such pain when they leave us and the reason is that dogs give us so much all their lives that it seems their being a part of our lives is priceless. But there is a price, and it is in that passing so soon it seems in comparison to our long lives as human beings. That being said, I still think I've come out far, far ahead. I hope you do too.

Having another dog is of course a personal decision. My belief is that our dogs that have passed on would want us to have another dog to love and care for and for them to care for us. It honors the dog that has died and it returns the gift of their great love to love and care for another.


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## GSDLoverII (May 12, 2004)

> Originally Posted By: GSDadI am very sorry for your loss. I do understand the feelings you're going through now - I've felt them myself. I too had a time when I could not bear the thought of losing another dog or of accepting another dog in my dog's place. I went three years of my childhood with my father's and siblings' dogs around me but the loss of mine was so tragic there was nothing that was ever going to feel right again it seemed. And then I had my second dog when someone brought back a pup to my dad (he was a breeder) they realized they couldn't keep. It wasn't long before she found her way into my heart. Two lost souls together. She got me through a very difficult adolescence. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest of all because for the first time I was the one who had to make the decision.
> 
> More time and more dogs have come and gone. Odin is my seventh GSD, Frigga my eighth. Baldur is my wife's dog but of course I am forming a bond with him as well. In the passing of so many dogs I have finally come to learn (at least for me) why we must go through such pain when they leave us and the reason is that dogs give us so much all their lives that it seems their being a part of our lives is priceless. But there is a price, and it is in that passing so soon it seems in comparison to our long lives as human beings. That being said, I still think I've come out far, far ahead. I hope you do too.
> 
> Having another dog is of course a personal decision. My belief is that our dogs that have passed on would want us to have another dog to love and care for and for them to care for us. It honors the dog that has died and it returns the gift of their great love to love and care for another.


That was very well put.


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## zyppi (Jun 2, 2006)

Ahh, it hurts so much! I'm so sorry.

I hope the memories that now bring pain will soon bring a smile to your face as you recall how fortunate you were to have each other.


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## Sashmom (Jun 5, 2002)

Im so sorry about Killian. Im having a hard time, too.









Two days after I was cooking and I automatically went to put something in his dish like I always did. Its been a mo,. I cant stand being GSD-less!!!!

I cant stand to go out in the backyard because we were out there everyday playing. 
RIP sweet Killian


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## BJDimock (Sep 14, 2008)

The post by raysmom made me cry. It has been three years since I lost my Katja(FirstShep, we called her) to Lupus. My husband gifted her to me on our first anniversary. The day she couldn't hold her position as pack master was the day she died in my life. I tried to hang on, but made the decision that it wasn't fair. She holds her position in my heart always. I have felt the uncertainty, but you did ok. Suffering is not just, when it can be avoided. Feel sad, feel lonely, but feel peace. The love that animals are just IS. It never leaves you, it just joins with you. Katja will never be physical again, in my time, but she still governs everything I do with those who have come through. Katchie and I salute you and Killian. May you find peace.


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