# First day volunteering at the Hawaiian Humane Society. I almost cried.



## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

I'm currently in Hawaii, away from my dogs for 4 months, which is the longest I've been away since they were born. I miss them all so much, and I decided to figure out a way to get myself around dogs without looking like a creeper. Yes, I went to the local dog beach...without a dog...and I felt like a creeper. So no more dog beaches. After going through the application process, I took the orientation class at the Hawaiian Humane Society (HHS) yesterday, followed by the dog walking/running class. I needed to take these 2 classes before they would let me handle the dogs. While I was doing the necessary training, I kept hearing a dog howling in the "staff only" area. It sounded like one of my huskies. I wanted to get a backstage pass to be allowed to go back there and see who and what it was for myself. I told the staff that I can spend the entire day volunteering on my days off, the next of which happened to be tomorrow (today).

So I went today as early as I could. I wanted to get there at opening (8am) but ended up working late last night on night shift for 12-hours, coming home at 3am. I arrived at the HHS around 11am today and started taking dogs out for walks and potty breaks. Some of the dogs were in their kennel all night, and then all morning, without ever being taken out. Most of these guys are house trained and were holding their poo and pee while waiting for someone to take them for a walk. I saw some other volunteer walking a dog that was not from the kennel area I was familiar with, so I asked him where that dog came from. He said it was from the back area. Oh! I asked if we were allowed back there, and he said yes. He said he would come back and give me a tour later, which he did.

The dogs in the back were the newer dogs waiting on owners to claim them, or still under investigation for cruelty, etc. Most of the big dogs were back there. That guy I heard howling was a black GSD mix, but looked mostly GSD. It had ears about 3/4 the size of a normal GSD, so maybe it had husky in it, thus the howling. Everything else about him looked GSD though. I wanted to give him love and take him for walks so bad, but I was not allowed. So I plopped down in front of him on the ground outside his kennel and just talked to him. He kept looking at me with those sad eyes like he understood. The pitbulls and other dogs were in the nearby kennels barking away, while this guy just laid down and stared at me. He was underweight and had a sign saying "feed 2 times a day" I guess to help fatten him up. He had a nasty ear infection or some drainage that looked literally like diarrhea all down the side of his face. It was disgusting and sad that someone would let him end up like this. His entire underbelly looked like a giant callous, furless, and covered by sagging skin. I wanted to take pics, but I remembered we were not allowed due to potential ongoing investigations.

There was another dog with a tumor that had grown out of its eye socket, and looked like a dangling eyeball. Even the volunteer pointed the dog out and said "look, that's his eyeball hanging there." Upon closer look, his eye was still in socket, and that was a growth or eyeball size tumor hanging there by a thread. The volunteer told me, after reading the dog's card, that it was going to get put down soon. It was 13 years old, had medical problems (eye tumor), and had an unlikely chance for adoption. I went back to that dog on my own later and stood there watching him. There was nothing wrong with the dog that I could see, other than the eye growth. So remove it, bathe him, give him some love, and you have a perfectly happy, loveable dog that might still have a few years left. Why just kill it now because it's too much work? If I could save them all, I would, starting with this guy. He looked so sad and unloved.

I'm getting sick to my stomach as I type this out in detail, forcing myself to relive the memory of today. I couldn't take it anymore and had to flee that staff only area before I started crying. These were only 2 cases. I know shelters all over the world deal with cases like this and worse every single day. My hat is off to those of you who do this for a living, or volunteer long term. This was ONE DAY for me...my first day...and I almost couldn't handle it. I kept wanting to get back home to my 4 dogs, but it will be another 2.5 months before I can hold them again. In the meantime, all I can do is give my love to the dogs here at HHS, as long as I can stomach the bad with the good.

Anyways, sorry for being so long. I really thought this would be a short post. I reek of "shelter dog" smell and need to get cleaned up. I can't wait to go back and give more love next week on my day off. Hopefully some of those big dogs in the back will have been moved out front for adoption. Most of the adoptable dogs were small dogs, but I love big dogs (I love all dogs, but big dogs more, thus owning GSDs and huskies), and want to be able to walk and handle the bigger guys and gals.

Oh, and I was given a tour of "death row" (a room of all feral cats -- we own 5 cats, 1 of which came to us feral, and she is fine now)...don't even get me started, poor kitties.


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## Betty (Aug 11, 2002)

I have helped evaluate shelter dogs for a possible pull by a rescue. 

Heart breaking does not begin to describe it.

When we leave, we know that the dogs that we have not pulled will be euthanized. We were pretty much the last chance as they were out of time.

I have no idea how people do that week after week, I only help once in a while and it kills me............................


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## DonnaKay (Jan 20, 2014)

My hat is off to you and all volunteers and shelter workers. I wouldn't be able to do it. All those poor babies.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

As I sat with those dogs looking into their big sad eyes, I did some deep thinking, and I couldn't help but ponder the long term effects this volunteer work might have on me:

1. I was heartbroken to think that there are people out there doing this to animals everyday. Being vegetarian/vegan myself, I try to avoid any animal dying or even being harmed due to my diet. I couldn't imagine purposely hurting something I considered a "pet" that I'm supposed to love. I truly feel that I have a strong connection to animals, ALL animals, because I somewhat love them all and don't eat any of them. I would have a pet cow or pig or chicken and love them just as much as a dog or cat, and one day when we have the acreage and money, I will have all sorts of rescued farm animals...at least that's the plan! I do understand that mankind has no closer connection than to a dog, thanks to the ancient wolf/human bond. Dogs are special in my heart more than anything else.

2. I attempted to predict the future, seeing myself doing this volunteer work long term, and I wondered if, over time, I would become so numb to the cruelty and death, that it would cease to upset me. Is this possible? How do funeral homes handle dead and sometimes mutilated humans every day? How can rescue people handle abused pets every day? Do you just become numb to it and see it as your duty to make at least some sort of attempt to help? Do you stop caring? That's what scares me. Would this make me emotionless? Or would I have to force myself to become emotionless to continue volunteering? I don't ever want to feel nothing when I see these maimed, once beautiful creatures.

Those animals spoke to me today. Their story was told through their eyes looking up at me through those bars. They told me *"I was born to love you, and I trusted you unconditionally, and look what you did to me. And now here I am -- to die -- to die because I wasn't loved enough. I'm going to be punished for your wrongdoing. Sentenced to death for a crime I did not commit. You committed the crime, and I will die for it. I was born to love you, and now I will die because you didn't love me back. Why couldn't I have ended up in a different home from the start? I don't even get to plead my case. I was evaluated and deemed too old or too sick to be placed in a home with people to love me until my end. Instead I will meet my end, never having been loved a day in my life."*

I spent 4.5 hours there today, in an attempt to give each dog love, even if that was the first and last time it will ever feel loved in its life. This was my calling. I'm about to cry just typing this. I have to stop now.

Sorry.


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## sarahp (May 24, 2014)

counter said:


> They told me *"I was born to love you, and I trusted you unconditionally, and look what you did to me. And now here I am -- to die -- to die because I wasn't loved enough. I'm going to be punished for your wrongdoing. Sentenced to death for a crime I did not commit. You committed the crime, and I will die for it. I was born to love you, and now I will die because you didn't love me back. Why couldn't I have ended up in a different home from the start? I don't even get to plead my case. I was evaluated and deemed too old or too sick to be placed in a home with people to love me until my end. Instead I will meet my end, never having been loved a day in my life."*


Alright this had me in tears. Every animal I've ever had in my life has been loved unconditionally and I can't even imagine ever thinking less of them or feeling less about them. I don't understand how any one can bring an animal, from a dog to a horse or cat to a pig, and leave them to fend for themselves or starve them or even abuse them. 
I think that at some point you would become callous to all the sadness and loneliness. Just like with human death and violence, the people who work with it first hand like detectives, forensic units or funeral workers, must become detached at least to a degree so it doesn't affect their life and so they can still see the good in people. At least that's how I see it. That's how I would have to be. And we all know that when a dog dies in a movie is when you will hear the entire theater sniffle a little bit but not even flinch when it's a human. We have more compassion for an animals life, well, at least some people do. 
Hats off to people like you who are willing to love these animals and work with them and let them know love. I wish I could do it but even the pet adoptions they hold at petsmart on the weekends make me cry. Last year on finals week we went to a few county shelters in our area and asked to see a few of the animals just to sit in a room with them and pet them and play with them. It worked as a stress reliever from finals week but also felt good seeing how happy they were to have human contact. 
Thank you for being there for them. You are a fantastic human being.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

I just wanted to add, while I'm thinking about it: I don't cry much, so the fact that I keep getting close means something. It hopefully shows the effect these poor animals had on me today. Other than dogs dying in movies (Hachi, etc.), I haven't cried since the last time my Mother spanked me as a kid, so probably 30 years now. I've been dumped by girls that I "loved", my Father died when I was 19, etc. None of that made me cry. If I watch a dog die, even if I know it really didn't die and it's just Hollywood and pet actors, I still cry. I think getting up there in age (I'll be 40 next year) is softening me a bit. I think finally owning dogs these last 7 years is softening me a bit. I've loved dogs and wanted pets all my life. I finally got one when I bought Nara from a breeder in 2007. 

So yeah, I don't want to come across as some sappy I-cry-daily guy. I don't cry at all. But dogs and wolves make me cry. I don't know why. I do know why. There is a special connection, and like I said, THIS is MY calling.


You want to know what else made me cry recently? This:

(SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE WEBSITE TO VIEW THE VIDEO)
LiveLeak.com - Injured Wolf rescued from icy river!
*[Look into those same sad eyes, this time of a wolf. This is the scared, unsure look those dogs were giving me through their bars today at the shelter.]*

***This video can be found on youtube and other places, and you can click on CC (Closed Caption) to get the English translation, but when I wanted to paste the link, youtube wasn't playing the video all the way through. I am not sure if it's an error, or just my connection. The link I provided played all the way through.***



> Since 1989, the Monte Adone Centre for Conservation and Research of Exotic and Wild Fauna (NPO - Voluntary Association) rescues, cures and rehabilitates the injured indigenous wildlife animals found on the territory of Bologna province (Emilia Romagna Region, Italy) in order to reintroduce them in nature. Moreover the Monte Adone Center welcomes the exotic animal species sequestered because of their illegal trading, detention and mistreatment (Centro Tutela e Ricerca Fauna Esotica e Selvatica - Monte Adone).
> 
> On January 9, 2012 the wolf Navarre was recovered from the icy waters of a river in very dramatic conditions: undernourished, with a paralysis of the hind limbs and with 35 lead pellets in his body. After several diagnostic tests, two weeks of intensive care in the infirmary, monitored 24 hours 24, Navarre started to walk. He was transferred to another enclosure of the Centre, suitable for his rehabilitation, which requires a gradual recovery of motor function without subjecting him to excessive physical effort. Thanks to a video camera placed in the enclosure Navarre is monitored day and night without being disturbed. It's still a long way, various diseases have weakened him a lot, but Navarre, thanks to his incredible will to live and care he received, started to walk improving gradually and giving good signs of recovery.
> 
> ...


So yeah, I think being away from my dogs and family for so long is having an emotional effect on me. I love my wife, kids, dogs and cats so much, and it's hard being away from them. When I'm with them, I'm distracted by life (work, family, chores, dog stuff [training, exercising, feeding, etc.]), and I don't have time to watch these movies and videos and cry. There's no crying in baseball says Tom Hanks!

I think, as I get older, the realization of the inevitability of death is setting in, making me appreciate and value life and love more and more. One day, they'll be gone, and I'll be gone. I want to live life to its fullest and love those closest to me (to include the dogs at the shelter, as they are currently the closest to me) as much as possible before I don't have the option. I want to live for today, because there's no guarantee that tomorrow will come. Just ask my Father on May 13, 1994. Tomorrow never came. Each day, these dogs and cats at the shelter: tomorrow never comes...


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## marielle (Jul 14, 2014)

Hi there! Your post came into my email this morning and I was touched by it as was some of our staff. Thank you so much for volunteering to help the animals. Your advocacy is greatly appreciated.  I would like to speak with you. Please contact me at _took out phone number_. 

Thanks,

Marielle Terbio, Volunteer Coordinator, Hawaiian Humane Society


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

marielle said:


> Hi there! Your post came into my email this morning and I was touched by it as was some of our staff. Thank you so much for volunteering to help the animals. Your advocacy is greatly appreciated.  I would like to speak with you. Please contact me at _phone number removed by admin_.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Marielle Terbio, Volunteer Coordinator, Hawaiian Humane Society


I sent you a message on FB and I emailed you. I can call later today in case you don't get my messages. Thanks for posting!


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

may you always be safe and have the energy to continue on (until you don't), and then may you have unimaginable blessings for what you've already done. 

saying thank you is not enough, but it's all I got 'cause your posts have simply blown me away.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

sarahp said:


> Alright this had me in tears. Every animal I've ever had in my life has been loved unconditionally and I can't even imagine ever thinking less of them or feeling less about them. I don't understand how any one can bring an animal, from a dog to a horse or cat to a pig, and leave them to fend for themselves or starve them or even abuse them.
> I think that at some point you would become callous to all the sadness and loneliness. Just like with human death and violence, the people who work with it first hand like detectives, forensic units or funeral workers, must become detached at least to a degree so it doesn't affect their life and so they can still see the good in people. At least that's how I see it. That's how I would have to be. And we all know that when a dog dies in a movie is when you will hear the entire theater sniffle a little bit but not even flinch when it's a human. We have more compassion for an animals life, well, at least some people do.
> Hats off to people like you who are willing to love these animals and work with them and let them know love. I wish I could do it but even the pet adoptions they hold at petsmart on the weekends make me cry. Last year on finals week we went to a few county shelters in our area and asked to see a few of the animals just to sit in a room with them and pet them and play with them. It worked as a stress reliever from finals week but also felt good seeing how happy they were to have human contact.
> Thank you for being there for them. You are a fantastic human being.


Sorry. Didn't mean to bring you to tears. I did the best I could to avoid them myself. I was planning to go once a week on my day off, but today I changed my mind. I can't stop thinking about all of those poor animals just sitting in their kennels like prison, hoping and wanting human companionship. I am not doing anything important before work each day (I work nights and am not at home to be with my family/dogs/cats), so I would much rather spend my time being with those shelter dogs than sitting in my hotel room on this forum talking about it! Ha. So tomorrow I'm going to get up bright and early, put on my big boy pants, and return to love on dem doggies!...hopefully tear-free. No crying allowed!! I want to share and spread my life to all of these dogs who have lived a loveless life. Every second, minute and hour count! Any love is better than no love. I can't wait to see who is left. I'm hoping it's all new faces, as that means the familiar faces have all been adopted! It's sad to return and see the same sweet dogs there. Why doesn't anyone want them!? Here is my fav dog that I bonded with during training on Saturday, and again on Sunday. Her name is Lola:

Hawaiian Humane Society Adoptions/Lost Search


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## Sagan (Apr 27, 2013)

What island are you on? I think last year here on Maui something like 13,000 dogs got euthanized. That figure might be exaggerated or conservative, but it's what I 'heard'. The dog owners here aren't the most responsible...


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

Sagan said:


> What island are you on? I think last year here on Maui something like 13,000 dogs got euthanized. That figure might be exaggerated or conservative, but it's what I 'heard'. The dog owners here aren't the most responsible...


I'm on Oahu.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

How could you not love this face. I sorta hope she's still there tomorrow morning. If not, I hope she's getting love in a new forever home.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

katieliz said:


> may you always be safe and have the energy to continue on (until you don't), and then may you have unimaginable blessings for what you've already done.
> 
> saying thank you is not enough, but it's all I got 'cause your posts have simply blown me away.


Thank you for this!


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## TAR HEEL MOM (Mar 22, 2013)

You never stop hurting or feeling the pain and helplessness. I have been working at a shelter for 3 1/2 years now and I sat today and cried over a young pup that someone has physically abused to the point that she won't let any human touch her. I can however, very calmly and humanely euthanize an animal when I truly believe it is in that animal's best interest. There is a place you have to get to where you just "know" that it is the best thing. Thank God it is only a tiny percentage of the dogs we intake every year. I don't know that I could function in a large city shelter with daily euthanasia clinics for simply time and space reasons.

Thank you for your work in the shelter! We shelter people sure do love our volunteers, as do the animals!


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## Colie CVT (Nov 10, 2013)

In a way, when you are at a high kill shelter, or even just within the animal industry in some capacity that deals with death on a daily basis, you have to learn how to accept the unfortunate necessity of it at times, and do your best to keep from getting burned out. It is not an easy thing, by any means, and it took me years to get to where I could see things from an extremely practical view. This does not mean that I do not feel for the animals that I am around every day, or that I do not cry when situations are unfortunately very tragic and euthanizing is sadly the best option.

One reality that I came to accept early on when I was helping with animal shelters is the simple fact that we cannot save them all. This bodes true in every phase of the animal industry. Some days, no matter what you try, death is simple. It is often much easier to see how it works well with animals that are sick or suffering, but if you pause to think of it, how fair is it to be within a kennel almost all of the time, with minimal interaction with others of your kind or people? Is it right for an animal to keep sitting there day in and day out without someone giving them a chance?

I have had to euthanize animals. I have sat beside many animals as they slowly passed away, disease or injury or age taking over. One thing that had always managed to make me feel a little better when I was volunteering was that I know I gave the dogs whom I worked with a little love and happiness into those final days. Even if it was only for a half hour or so, someone pet them, took them out into the sunshine and showed them that they were loved. Perhaps it was not always much, but it often could be more than they had otherwise known.

I also always thought of the best case scenario for a dog that I had grown fond of, even if the fate could have been differently. I never checked. I simply had faith things had gone well and they would know love until their dying moment. However long that may have been.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

Like Ice Cube says "today was a good day!"

1. This morning started off with me taking Champ for a 2-hour socialization love-fest walk! Champ is the old timer Golden Retriever that I posted about up above. He was the dog with the tumor hanging off his eye. Well, great news (have I posted this yet? I don't think I have.), Champ had the tumor removed, he's on eye medication, and he was cleaned up and put out for adoption. I was so happy when I saw this. I've been spending a lot of time loving him.

2. I got to meet with Doc today. Yes!...the Doc that wrote the GSD book "Reflections from the Dog House" with Kay, both from this forum. He just so happened to be in Hawaii like me, and I contacted them both when my Amazon order got delayed. I didn't think the book would make it to Hawaii in time, and I'm leaving soon to go to Korea. Both of them offered to mail me a book (Kay even offered her very own copy). When I found out Doc would be in Hawaii the same time as me, I asked him to possibly meet and hand it to me to help save on S&H (and time!). So we met at the Hawaiian Humane Society this morning, sat on a bench, both of us loved on Champ, and we talked about all sorts of topics (to include GSDs) for over 2 hours. He was very nice, and he's the first person from this forum I've met in the 5+ years I've been a member. I look forward to finally being able to read this book.

3. I spent all day at HHS, helping to rehabilitate the shy dogs, and loving the unloved dogs, and walking the unwalkable (aka BIG) dogs. I was thanked by a lot of the staff, as they told me most of the volunteers aren't able to handle some of the larger dogs, so it was appreciated that I targeted the big guys and gals to exercise.

4. Lola, who I posted about above and put up pics, WAS FINALLY ADOPTED TODAY! I've been taking her out for walks and love sessions each of the 5 days I've volunteered here so far. She's been my fav, and I'm glad to see her finally go to a good home. She's been at the shelter for months, and was returned once already.

5. Now for the bad news:

- The black GSD that I posted about above, who was howling, I found out today was euthanized. He was supposedly part wolf (looked like it too, with ears smaller than a GSD, plus he was howling, and he didn't have traits comparable to other breeds, like a GSD/Sibe mix). I was told he had too many internal medical problems. A staff member fought to adopt or foster him, but he was too far gone. He was also half the weight he should've been. You win some and you lose some, I guess. Lola got adopted, Black Wolf was put down.

- Two purebred GSDs were owner surrenders today. They are in the isolation area awaiting a behavioral evaluation before they can be put out for adoption. I sat with them, just like I did with Champ and Black Wolf. I spoke quietly to them, while all of the other dogs around me (mostly pits and mutts) were barking and going bonkers. I wanted to calm them and reassure them that I'd be looking out for them specifically as they made it through the process; their volunteer guardian angel. I've sent an email to the animal behaviorist asking him if I can assist in their evaluation. I'm hoping he says yes. They are a male and female. Both were sweet and calm, yet gave me the big brown sad eyes. They didn't bark at me. They just laid there hoping I could help them somehow. They seem to be cleared medically, and are already fixed. I hope they go to a good home. I can't wait to love them and exercise them once (if/when) they get moved to the adoption side of the house.

It seems like there was more good and more bad news from today, but the good certainly outweighed the bad. It's been an awesome day. Now I get to go running and then do laundry before starting another 5-day work week tomorrow. We're working 5 days on, 1 day off, for this military RIMPAC exercise. Oh joy!


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## Yoshi (May 12, 2014)

counter said:


> 2. I attempted to predict the future, seeing myself doing this volunteer work long term, and I wondered if, over time, I would become so numb to the cruelty and death, that it would cease to upset me. Is this possible? How do funeral homes handle dead and sometimes mutilated humans every day? How can rescue people handle abused pets every day? Do you just become numb to it and see it as your duty to make at least some sort of attempt to help? Do you stop caring? That's what scares me. Would this make me emotionless? Or would I have to force myself to become emotionless to continue volunteering? I don't ever want to feel nothing when I see these maimed, once beautiful creatures.


I did not read all the posts but this struck a cord with me. Coming from someone who has faced numerous animal deaths, some that I killed myself, while some were killed by another source, I must say that over time you do become somewhat detached and numb, but from my experience you do not necessarily stop caring. What I find is that you are hesitant to open your heart, while you may display affection, it may not be real heart felt emotions, you tend to read an animal's condition in a somewhat practical and detached way, where you measure if (A) the animal is going to survive or (B) if it is kinder to kill the animal and put it out of it's misery. You measure on whether the animal is surviving or thriving. Sometimes surviving is not enough and so it is necessary to give it a quick clean death. 

I do not work or volunteer at a shelter. I was raised and live on a farm where we rely on animals to feed and work for us. Not a hobby farm. We kill our own animals to eat, and feed other animals. We kill deformed, weak and diseased animals. We kill pests. We even kill our own animals that have ceased to be useful to us. With each death you soon learn that sometimes it's necessary and you block out your feelings, but with every death that I have seen or dealt with myself, you remember the life they had, and you still feel sad and remorseful as you watch the life fade from their eyes. There is now one more scar left on my soul. But as I have come along I have grown to accept death. There is nothing wrong with a clean death if it is necessary. What I hate is when people either kill things slowly and painfully for their entertainment, or when people are too cowardly to kill the animal they are responsible for, whether it's sick, in pain or they don't want it, whatever, and would rather prolong its existence because they are too attached to it, or leave it to the wild to die of exposure or starvation, or something of the like, or dump it on the side of the road, hoping someone else might pick it up and it's their problem now, or even dump at a shelter, or even people who choose to eat meat but refuse to kill the animal or even admit that a life must be taken to provide meat in the first place. There is nothing wrong with a clean death. There is everything wrong with prolonging a suffering animal's life, however. Death is a natural part of life and I am shocked that people refuse to acknowledge it. 

But yeah, that is my big blob of text on the circle of life.  While people may not agree with it, and I am not asking you to, this is just my perception, but really, all I am asking is that people need not always perceive death as a bad thing! It is not always bad. It is natural. Cruelty, however is inexcusable!!


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

Quick update before I run to work:

Champ got adopted yesterday. My heart can rest easy now! I was there with him on Saturday, and returned this morning to see he was already gone! Yay for Champ!

I sat with the 2 GSDs in the back again. I hope they come out of isolation and into adoption soon so I can spend quality time with them.


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## my boy diesel (Mar 9, 2013)

a couple of things
1 you did not do this to them
tell yourself that daily as in self talk "i did not do this to them'

2 you will get used to it and it wont be as shocking
it wont stop hurting but you have to learn to deal with that because if you are meant to help them you have to grow a thick skin
i volunteer and sometimes foster and my helping them negates what humans did to them if that makes sense?
that is i make up for the sadness by doing positive things for them
no do not desensitize yourself but do learn to handle it in a positive way to avoid burn out

3 just be there
and vent a lot to your co workers
people in your other world outside the shelter wont ''get'; it 
they wont get what you are trying to say so vent to rescuers and shelter workers

if i think of more i will pm ya 
:hugs: 
you will do great


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Kevin--Thank you for loving and exercising these dogs. I have done this too and it was the big dogs that always got to me too.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

my boy diesel said:


> a couple of things
> 1 you did not do this to them
> tell yourself that daily as in self talk "i did not do this to them'
> 
> ...


I've been going every other day now. The car (a clunker) that I'm borrowing while in Hawaii was stalling this morning, and I thought I wasn't going to be able to go in to see the dogs. I count on being with them as much as I hope they're counting on me returning to spend quality time. Well, I sat there about ready to give up when the car started and didn't stall again the rest of the day. I was so happy, as were those doggies!



BowWowMeow said:


> Kevin--Thank you for loving and exercising these dogs. I have done this too and it was the big dogs that always got to me too.


Thank you for thanking me! And thank you for volunteering at a shelter and working with the [BIG] dogs.


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

counter said:


> I sat with the 2 GSDs in the back again. I hope they come out of isolation and into adoption soon so I can spend quality time with them.


Look who was there in Kennel 1 today to greet me when I first arrived:




























So you can guess what I did all morning! That's right, I spent it with Koa. He is one of the 2 GSDs they had in the back. I took him for 2 walks and brought him inside the volunteer house so he could lay on the cool floor and be in air conditioning. I took him to the dog park area to be off leash, and he didn't want to explore or play fetch. He ONLY wanted to be at my feet, sitting or standing, and when I sat on the park bench, he would hop right up and sit up against me. I gave him a lot of love. When they opened this morning to the public, there were already people showing interest in him. I hope someone takes him home today. I will be there all day Friday from open-close, and if he's still there, I think he'll be my partner most of the day, going for walks and showing him off to the public! I told him I'd be his Guardian Angel and help him make it through to the adoptions floor, and now there he is, ready for his forever home! I was so happy I almost started crying again when I had to leave today. I was telling the Volunteer Coordinator how I would come in and sit with him back in isolation, and how I volunteered to be his Guardian Angel, and that's when I had to stop talking and walk out before tears came. So happy for this boy. I'm getting teary eyed typing this now. Why do I love dogs so much!?! Why do they have this effect on me???


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

> Cruelty, however is inexcusable!!


^^^The most important words you wrote!^^^




Yoshi said:


> I did not read all the posts but this struck a cord with me. Coming from someone who has faced numerous animal deaths, some that I killed myself, while some were killed by another source, I must say that over time you do become somewhat detached and numb, but from my experience you do not necessarily stop caring. What I find is that you are hesitant to open your heart, while you may display affection, it may not be real heart felt emotions, you tend to read an animal's condition in a somewhat practical and detached way, where you measure if (A) the animal is going to survive or (B) if it is kinder to kill the animal and put it out of it's misery. You measure on whether the animal is surviving or thriving. Sometimes surviving is not enough and so it is necessary to give it a quick clean death.
> 
> I do not work or volunteer at a shelter. I was raised and live on a farm where we rely on animals to feed and work for us. Not a hobby farm. We kill our own animals to eat, and feed other animals. We kill deformed, weak and diseased animals. We kill pests. We even kill our own animals that have ceased to be useful to us. With each death you soon learn that sometimes it's necessary and you block out your feelings, but with every death that I have seen or dealt with myself, you remember the life they had, and you still feel sad and remorseful as you watch the life fade from their eyes. There is now one more scar left on my soul. But as I have come along I have grown to accept death. There is nothing wrong with a clean death if it is necessary. What I hate is when people either kill things slowly and painfully for their entertainment, or when people are too cowardly to kill the animal they are responsible for, whether it's sick, in pain or they don't want it, whatever, and would rather prolong its existence because they are too attached to it, or leave it to the wild to die of exposure or starvation, or something of the like, or dump it on the side of the road, hoping someone else might pick it up and it's their problem now, or even dump at a shelter, or even people who choose to eat meat but refuse to kill the animal or even admit that a life must be taken to provide meat in the first place. There is nothing wrong with a clean death. There is everything wrong with prolonging a suffering animal's life, however. Death is a natural part of life and I am shocked that people refuse to acknowledge it.
> 
> But yeah, that is my big blob of text on the circle of life.  While people may not agree with it, and I am not asking you to, this is just my perception, but really, all I am asking is that people need not always perceive death as a bad thing! It is not always bad. It is natural.


I understand this and understand why and how people come to think and feel this way. I have been a strict vegetarian/vegan for almost 20 years now, as is my wife and children. Nothing (within our control) dies for our diet or for anything else. Can someone completely escape harming or killing another life? Impossible. Can one do as much as possible to practice Ahimsa (definition: "to not put another's life in check"), definitely. Non-violence and animal rights has to be practical within one's personal limitations. Each individual can only do as much as they are able. Someone doing more should never expect all others to do as much, and vice versa. I understand that I don't need to kill animals to survive. I also feel that, in my own personal life (just me, not anyone else), when I take on a pet, be it a cat or dog or horse, cow, chicken, pig, if I bring it under my dominion, I will swear to take care of it until it dies. If it is more humane to put it down early due to sickness, I am OK with that. I am also OK with killing and eating an animal out of necessity if I'm lost in the woods and starving to death. Other than that, I take an oath to protect and defend those living beings who one way or another fall under my care and are given sanctuary. I am me. You are you. And each person is an individual with individual experiences that have helped shape them into the person they are today. I don't look down on anyone else for being different, and I certainly hope that they wouldn't look down on me.

Thank you for sharing your background and experiences. I understand you didn't have to take the time to type all of that out.

...and yes, I embrace the inevitability of Death.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Anyone care to bet where Koa is going soon? :wild:


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

Sunflowers said:


> Anyone care to bet where Koa is going soon? :wild:


Hopefully a loving home! Based on my track record so far, every dog that I've paid special attention to in helping with their particular rehabilitation has been adopted. Koa might've already been adopted today. I've decided to go back in the morning, as the car I'm borrowing is being taken back sometime Saturday. So, instead of going every other day, this is crunch time, and I will go everyday until I lose the car. I somewhat hope Koa is there to greet me in the morning, and at the same time I hope he's asleep in his new home as I type this.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Sure hope so! Fingers crossed! Keep doing the good you do!


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## counter (Feb 20, 2009)

Sunflowers said:


> Sure hope so! Fingers crossed! Keep doing the good you do!


We will know soon enough. I'm awake in Hawaii, and getting ready to go check on Koa. If he is still there, he'll be going for some walks with me first thing! But yeah, I thought maybe you were saying he was going to go home with me. Haha! Let's hope he's already gone when I get there.


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