# goodbye Buddy.



## roxy84 (Jun 23, 2007)

i am in shock right now. im just numb. as i was sitiing at the computer earlier tonight, Buddy (my 12 yr old lab/shep mix) got up quickly and left the room. i followed him because he looked a bit like he needed to go #2. his tail was between his legs and his hind end seemed a bit stiff. i went outside with him. he took a few steps then his legs just collapsed from underneath him. he got up then fell sideways. he struggled again to get up. at this point, i rushed to him to keep him laying down. i called the emergency clinic, and drove him there. i felt pretty sure what had happened, and the vet confirmed my fear..he suffered a stroke.the vet felt is was fairly massive. he was panting heavily by now and his eyes were doing quick rolls toward the top of his head. he had no ability to use his legs whatsoever. i decided to let them do some scans to be sure. we went over the options. the vet felt the chances for recovery from this were not good. i knew this day would come sometime..but i was not ready to lose him so suddenly. i had to let him go. i loved him so much..............i could not bear to have him suffer.

october 1999...i was diagnosed with clinical depression. there was nothing that seemingly triggered it, but i fell into a deep dark hole, and i was really ready to leave this world...buddy was always by my side, especially when things seemed the darkest. on two occasions, i was ready to go, but whenever i tried to tell him..he just looked at me as if to say.."its gonna be ok..just hang in there". i just couldnt leave him...there were family members who were very helpful during this time as well, but there was something special in his eyes that kept me going. sorry, i know it sounds sappy, but will always be grateful to Buddy.

it just happened so quick, and i feel guilty that i took his love for granted sometime. i just want one more time....

...to feel you licking my face in the morning
...to take you for a walk in the woods
...to have you wake me up with one of your noisy doggy dreams
...to lay by your side for a weekend nap
...to feel you licking the sweat off me after a jog
...to watch you drool as you patiently wait for a table scrap
...to have you moan in your human like dog voice telling me its time for some attention.

goodbye sweet boy... my heart is aching so bad and i cant stop crying

RIP Buddy (1996-2008)


----------



## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Derek,

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the way you feel right now because I lost Basu very quickly like that. He was also older but I wasn't expecting it. The good thing is that Buddy did not have to suffer. 

Please take comfort in all the wonderful memories you have of this sweet dog.


----------



## roxy84 (Jun 23, 2007)

thank you so much. im so glad buddy got to spend a year with kimba. he really seemed more happy with her around and he seemed more like his younger self again. (well, except for those first few days, when i think he was ready to disown me)


----------



## Kayla's Dad (Jul 2, 2007)

Derek. I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine the pain of losing such a friend so dear and so suddenly. Keep the memories in front of you at this time.








Buddy. Be free with joy and without pain at the bridge.


----------



## K9Kaos (Jun 24, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss









Keep the memories of Buddy close to your heart....

and know that he's watching over you from the bridge









RIP sweet Buddy


----------



## Deuce'sMom (Jul 4, 2008)

My sincere condolences. I hope eventually all of your happy memories will ease your pain.


----------



## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

so sorry for your loss. we never have them long enough. they're always gone too soon. rip dear buddy.


----------



## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

Oh Derek.









I'm so sorry. I was just going back to bed, and my computer was still on. I know I had shut it down, but the monitor shown bright in the dark room. For some reason, I thought I should check here one last time tonight. I just kind of feel like maybe Buddy was just tapping me on the shoulder, saying, "Hey, check on our friend, would you?"

I lost Grover like this. We had gone to bed. I kissed her goodnight but didn't spend much time in the process. After all, there would be tomorrow. There is always tomorrow, right? But unfortunately, we learn, the answer eventually, is no. 

It took me a long time to realize that dogs like Buddy live a thousand tomorrows in every today. They get so much joy just hanging out next to you while you work on the computer, exploring the woods on a crisp sunny morning, or a wet afternoon (because mud and sunshine are BOTH great!), going for runs, mooching snacks, and best of all, snuggling in for naps. We humans may take things like this for granted, but Buddy didn't. 

I know that you're hurting. I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I've felt the deep ache of loss and a deep sense of betrayal from the universe. Why MY dog? Why especially this dog, who is particularly loving and supportive? Why now? Why wasn't I given reasonable notice? 

And yet, with time, I've learned to see that what I want most for my dog is a quick and painless goodbye, in my arms telling him I love him. And you were able to give him that. 

I know that Buddy understood and took care of you when you were in your darkest time. He gave you that. He earned your trust and your love. Unfortunately, the more we love, the deeper we grieve. I know your grief runs deep. And only time can help you with that. Time and wonderful memories. 

But I believe that Roxy and Buddy are running through woods and swapping stories about the good old days. And you are not alone. Their spirits remain with you. (And I'm here to PM if you want to talk, anytime....) 

But your loss is profound. And I'm terribly sorry. 

Lori


----------



## Guest (Aug 19, 2008)

Despite how things may have been blown out of proportion between us I certainly wished you no ill will. Now I see this and I feel all the worse for how that conversation went (not helped by others either ).

I've been where you were in October of '99. My Odin did for me what your Buddy did for you. I know quite well I wouldn't have made it without him. I fully understand the loss you feel on that level as I have lost several dogs over the years including one who saved my life more than once. I dread the day Odin leaves me. So I feel for you, I truly do.

I don't always offer this advice in this section, but for those who have been dealt the hardest blows I will. Having said goodbye to so many dogs now I've come to find an answer to why we must go through such times. Dogs give us so much over their lives that the time seems priceless, but there is a price and it is the pain we feel at their passing. Having said that I still feel that all in all I've come out far, far ahead. I hope you feel the same.

I'm very sorry for your loss. My sincerest condolences.


----------



## roxy84 (Jun 23, 2007)

thank you all so, so much. ive been crying all night so i think im all cried out. i admit i rarely come to this board because its so emotionally jarring, but the support really makes me feel less alone with my feeling, as i know many of you have been through the same thing. thanks again.


----------



## kbigge (Dec 29, 2007)

Derek - I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you are heartbroken, and you are in my prayers.


----------



## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

After reading your beautiful tribute to your Buddy, I'm so thankful that he came into your life when he did. That kind of special relationship we have with some of our dogs is a bond that can never be broken, even by death. Buddy will always be with you, in your heart and in your memories.

I'm so sorry you lost him last night, I know you're still in shock since it happened so fast. My condolences to you and all who loved him.








Rest in Peace dear Buddy, run free as the wind, and thanks for being there for Derek at a time when he needed help the most.


----------



## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

Oh Derek, what a loss you have had when, of course, it is not expected and no preparation is possible. Buddy gave you strength when you needed it, as my dogs have done for me, so let that memory linger as a tribute to Buddy. He was a lovely dog in all ways and I mourn his loss on your behalf.

RIP Buddy, run free now, you sweet, special boy.


----------



## barbprzyby (May 15, 2008)

I'm sorry that Buddy's passing came on so fast. You gave him the right name and he looked to you with the same understanding. 
Yes, our dogs lives are way too short for our liking, but what a load of blessings they give in the time we have with them. 
Buddy didn't suffer a lingering death, and that is my constant hope for my oldy girl. 
Everyday is a bonus when the reality of "life has no guarantees" hits us so hard. 
This fellowship of suffering we share helps us to consider our days with renewed insight. 
My condolences and prayers for peace to you in this time of great loss.


----------



## roxy84 (Jun 23, 2007)

thank you all for your kind words here and on the health thread. it means the world to me....it really helped pull me through the last 12 hours. im finally feeling some peace with all of this.


----------



## chruby (Sep 21, 2005)

I'm sorry you are going through this. RIP Buddy.


----------



## sd3567 (May 16, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss. Cherish your memories of Buddy.


----------



## Sasha & Joy (May 13, 2003)

I am so for your loss, I too know how your are feeling. Take comfort in knowing that your Buddy will always be in your memories and in your heart.


----------



## Skye'sMom (Jul 11, 2004)

I am so sorry that you suddenly lost such a great friend. Buddy was there for you, but you were there for him also.

For a dog to have such a warm place in his human's life makes his that much better.

RIP, Buddy.

What a good dog.


----------



## elsie (Aug 22, 2001)

my deepest sympathies to you








run free, buddy


----------



## roxy84 (Jun 23, 2007)

thank you all again. three days later and the tears just come out at the times that im used to doing things with him, such as our trail walks. the other two girls just look at me as if to say "chop, chop, your falling behind." if it werent for them this would be even tougher.


----------

