# Need help deciding if my dog is dangerous..



## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

I have a 3-year-old named Legend, I have had him since he was about 9 months old and I love him to death. He has a serious problem with anxiety, and I am at a point where training is becoming difficult and I need to make a decision whether to continue trying or stop this for safety reasons. 

When I first got him, I remember him being extremely calm. Nonreactive when we would go on walks, to every person he saw. He simply liked to lay down and gaze at the ducks in the pond. I blame myself for his behavior, he's watched so much domestic violence over the years I'm certain that has something to do with it. But he could have been predisposed to anxiety anyways, because the day I picked him up from the shelter when they handed me his leash he rolled over onto his back to expose his belly in submission, and ended up underneath my vehicle. It was a little bit strange but it made it easier for me to get the step in harness on. 

When I first got him, I could teach him anything any command very quickly he would get it within minutes. He would retain it easily. The issues I'm facing is that he is now very reactive, but only to others in the home. I occasionally bring my infant son around my dog so that he is not alarmed by the infant's presence, knows that the infant lives here but does not feel jealous of the infant or threatened by him. I do not allow the child to have any physical contact with my dog. The closest that they can come to each other is when the baby is in his pack and play, this way Legend can sniff him and everything but he cannot reach his little hands up and grab anything on Legends face. He doesn't even attempt to, because the large dog scares him. But Legend uses body language that indicates to me that he feels threatened by my son regardless of precautions that I've taken. It appears to be a manifestation of his overall anxiety, he's constantly looking for signs of a threat and everything he sees. It's not hard to see a baby is threatening if this is your perspective considering that they stare. Every time he sees my son he instantly goes from happy and relaxed and playful to tense and standoffish. I don't know how this negative association started, because the first time he ever saw my infant son was when I was standing at the window to my kitchen which I always toss him treats through. I tossed him treats that day, and then I picked up my son and as soon as Legends saw my son in view he went from having his ears up and tail wagging and panting, to dropping his ears dropping his tail closing his mouth With part of his lip curled. 

My 7-year-old gets a completely opposite reaction, he actually loves to attempt to "herd" my 7-year-old if he gets anywhere too far away from me. My 7 year old has very timid body language and is a very calm and collect child, just think of the complete opposite of every 7-year-old you've ever known and that's my kid. This is docile and gentle nature makes Legend feel that this is a lovely little sheep. 

Legend is so anxious now I have a very difficult time getting him to focus on me. I can remove all distractions around but he begins pacing in circles. Walks alone have not solved the problem, and in fact he has begun showing signs of increased anxiety on walks, such as being afraid of a trash bag on the curb in spite of this being something that he has seen many times before every single day.. Giving him a job to do is increasingly difficult because I have such a hard time getting him to focus long enough. The only medical issues I haven't ruled out yet are possible thyroid issues, that's the only thing I could possibly think of that hasn't already been checked for. His hips are awesome his elbows are awesome he's on an amazing raw diet that made him look beautiful and stop shedding or smelling bad, I'm not saying that I'm in an impossible situation cuz I'm certain I must be missing something... But essentially I'm perplexed by this and I know a lot of people say that you should never have a timid German Shepherd and I'm wondering what is the substance behind this claim what makes it dangerous and what information do you guys need to determine an outside opinion on whether or not my dog may be able to change and be the way he was before all the trauma?


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## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

I wanted to add in that in spite of his extreme anxiety and fear of everything, when duty called, and somebody was in danger he did fight to save them. When I had to pull him away from the situation he was barking at me and looking me in the face because he was upset that I was allowing that bad thing to happen to his friend, and not allowing him to help. But in anticipation for a bad situation, he is nervous and fearful and will whine. I don't know if this is important information or not, but I feel as though it may be significant considering that he would have attempted to flee if it was hardwired into his genetics to be a fearful skittish dog


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## Pb57 (Aug 14, 2021)

I normally don't like to tell folks that a dog may not be right for their family but under the circumstances it may be best if he was placed with adults only. When it comes to kids I never like to take chances with a fearful nervy dog. Its a problem with a lot of the American line German shepherds which were over bred without concern for bad nerves. Paul


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## LuvShepherds (May 27, 2012)

What domestic violence was he exposed to? I know you wrote out two very long posts but I feel like we are missing some of the puzzle. What kind of training have you done? How old was he when you got him?


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

LuvShepherds said:


> What domestic violence was he exposed to? I know you wrote out two very long posts but I feel like we are missing some of the puzzle. What kind of training have you done? How old was he when you got him?


OP says he was 9 months old.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

Where are you located? You need an experienced trainer to assess your situation in person. Someone here can most likely recommend someone.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

my opinion, on the internet, when i don’t know the person or the dog, will ALWAYS be conservative, if young kids are involved.

trust your mom gut.

even if he isn’t a danger… it still sounds like a stressful environment.


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## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

LuvShepherds said:


> What domestic violence was he exposed to? I know you wrote out two very long posts but I feel like we are missing some of the puzzle. What kind of training have you done? How old was he when you got him?


So he watched me get yelled at and pushed around and hit with large objects etc. I started letting him outside every time that Camron would get mad so he wouldn't have to watch the whole thing but I know these animals have amazing hearing and he could still hear everything. He heard this crap for the better part of a year. For training, I haven't done anything more than some basic commands. Unfortunately, he seems to forget them a lot. Sit, stay, come, and then I have a whole set of commands we use when walking. Before everything got bad, he was halfway through learning how to search with his nose. I had gotten him to the point where I could tell him "go find" with a non-food object in my hand and he would sniff out and find the same object hidden outside


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## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

Pb57 said:


> I normally don't like to tell folks that a dog may not be right for their family but under the circumstances it may be best if he was placed with adults only. When it comes to kids I never like to take chances with a fearful nervy dog. Its a problem with a lot of the American line German shepherds which were over bred without concern for bad nerves. Paul


Leave it to Americans to fluff everything up! I wonder where I could actually find a good home for him, most of the reason why I haven't even begun this type of process is because I don't know where to find somebody who actually knows about the breed. I know I've already failed him, but the last thing I'd want to do is fail him worse by giving him to somebody who wouldn't even try


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

OP, I hope you are safe now. Memories line the are hard to deal with. On top of that two small children and a stressed out dog. I know it's the internet but I think rehoming the dog will help bring some harmony in your life and keep the kids safe. And yes, mom's gut feelings are always right. I don't know if the abuser has patental rights but in this case he can use the dog as leverage for child custody


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## Buckelke (Sep 4, 2019)

Please don't take this the wrong way, but it seems to me that the dog is picking up on YOUR anxiety. You seem overly anxious about the dog and his relationship with your children. I get that you are in Mom Mode and want to protect them but sometimes you gotta let the kids get dirty. Have you considered that a little counseling to help you back down a bit might help? You are (understandably ) over anxious and hyper vigilant. I think you need to take a hard look at everything you have been through and how to deal with it. I know there is a period following any traumatic event in life where you take a look back and wonder why on earth that happened and why didn't you see it happening and do things a different way. It's normal to question things in life. I assume you have put all the abuse behind you and moved on? Everyone needs to calm down a bit, the dog is just trying to do his job of watching over the kids and you. Try trusting him a little more. Yes, keep an eye on him but let him interact with the kids if he wants. And let them interact with the dog if they want. I don't think your dog is vicious, just confused. He thinks he's one of your children and expects to be treated the same as the other kids. Always treat all your children equally Mom. Everyone should get a treat, don't pick favorites. Now take a deep breath, go curl up on the couch with the kids and the dog and watch cartoons. signed - Old Mom


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## Shefali (Aug 12, 2020)

Squeakypeanut said:


> Leave it to Americans to fluff everything up! I wonder where I could actually find a good home for him, most of the reason why I haven't even begun this type of process is because I don't know where to find somebody who actually knows about the breed. I know I've already failed him, but the last thing I'd want to do is fail him worse by giving him to somebody who wouldn't even try


My heart goes out to you. I am SO very sorry you had to suffer domestic violence. I'm glad you are out of that situation and hopefully never get into that again.

Re. your dog - I would try everything possible to try to make it work. I agree that having a few sessions with a trainer is an excellent idea - and don't just do it with yourself, also involve your 7 year old in at least some of the sessions because the dog needs to understand that the child is also above him in the hierarchy. I am so glad you are keeping your baby away from your dog, even if your dog did not have issues I would never leave a baby alone with him, simply because GSD are powerful and might accidentally hurt a little one without meaning to. So I would always make sure they are closely watched whenever they are in the same room.

One thing that may seem "new age-y" but has actually worked with a couple of pets I know - get Bach's Rescue Remedy and put a few drops in his water or on his food; or try aromatherapy specifically for dogs. You might also try spending more time brushing him, or playing soft music for him, or ask your vet if there are any anti-anxiety meds or other things to try. I have done some of this stuff with anxious pets and it did help. 

Also, does he have a crate? The crate is my dog's safe space. When he gets stressed out during thunderstorms, he goes in his crate. When he wants space, he goes in there. I NEVER bother him when he goes in his crate. I do sometimes send him to his crate - he knows that command.

BTW, these dogs can be so attached to their person. I am dealing with cancer so I had to have a friend care for my dog temporarily since, thanks to surgery and radiation, my energy levels are low. But I visit my dog once a week, and he is always SO DELIGHTED to see me. He loves my friend who is caring for him, but he obviously still thinks of himself as MY dog. These dogs are incredibly loyal. Another reason to really make the effort to keep him, as long as you can keep your dog and baby separated. 

I hope it can work out. I really feel for you and will check back later to see if there are any updates.


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## Fodder (Oct 21, 2007)

Squeakypeanut said:


> Leave it to Americans to fluff everything up! I wonder where I could actually find a good home for him, most of the reason why I haven't even begun this type of process is because I don't know where to find somebody who actually knows about the breed. I know I've already failed him, but the last thing I'd want to do is fail him worse by giving him to somebody who wouldn't even try


where to start…
see if there is a GSD rescue in your area - they may offer to take him on (while allowing you to foster if you desire) although most rescues are strained these days with covid pups losing their homes. another option if you don’t want to surrender him would be to ask if they’ll do a courtesy listing on their site and/ or socials….when doing this i typically will accept a donation to the organization in lieu of an adoption fee coming to me.
if there are no GSD rescues near you or they aren’t willing to help…. adoptapet.com has a Rehome section for private party adoptions. they provide a generic application and contract, and the adoption fee gets paid directly to their site and gets donated to rescues.
this is all of course with the assumption that you have the time, interest and feel comfortable screening homes yourself. the added bonus of surrendering to a rescue would be that the dog has a safety net for life if he were to end up needing a home in the future.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Answer the general area question, and let folks here suggest some good trainers in your area that can put eyes on your dog and help! Just say a state, and maybe a region within that state. This can be solved most likely...


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## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

Buckelke said:


> Please don't take this the wrong way, but it seems to me that the dog is picking up on YOUR anxiety. You seem overly anxious about the dog and his relationship with your children. I get that you are in Mom Mode and want to protect them but sometimes you gotta let the kids get dirty. Have you considered that a little counseling to help you back down a bit might help? You are (understandably ) over anxious and hyper vigilant. I think you need to take a hard look at everything you have been through and how to deal with it. I know there is a period following any traumatic event in life where you take a look back and wonder why on earth that happened and why didn't you see it happening and do things a different way. It's normal to question things in life. I assume you have put all the abuse behind you and moved on? Everyone needs to calm down a bit, the dog is just trying to do his job of watching over the kids and you. Try trusting him a little more. Yes, keep an eye on him but let him interact with the kids if he wants. And let them interact with the dog if they want. I don't think your dog is vicious, just confused. He thinks he's one of your children and expects to be treated the same as the other kids. Always treat all your children equally Mom. Everyone should get a treat, don't pick favorites. Now take a deep breath, go curl up on the couch with the kids and the dog and watch cartoons. signed - Old Mom


Yup. You were right. He was growling at the baby because he could sense my anxiety and thought it was because of the baby. I noticed he did this to the other dogs when they're stressing me out. He knows everything is hard on me after the divorce and he's just trying to help. He's the best friend I have


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## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

LuvShepherds said:


> What domestic violence was he exposed to? I know you wrote out two very long posts but I feel like we are missing some of the puzzle. What kind of training have you done? How old was he when you got him?


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## Squeakypeanut (Sep 20, 2021)

Shefali said:


> My heart goes out to you. I am SO very sorry you had to suffer domestic violence. I'm glad you are out of that situation and hopefully never get into that again.
> 
> Re. your dog - I would try everything possible to try to make it work. I agree that having a few sessions with a trainer is an excellent idea - and don't just do it with yourself, also involve your 7 year old in at least some of the sessions because the dog needs to understand that the child is also above him in the hierarchy. I am so glad you are keeping your baby away from your dog, even if your dog did not have issues I would never leave a baby alone with him, simply because GSD are powerful and might accidentally hurt a little one without meaning to. So I would always make sure they are closely watched whenever they are in the same room.
> 
> ...


I ended up not being able


Shefali said:


> My heart goes out to you. I am SO very sorry you had to suffer domestic violence. I'm glad you are out of that situation and hopefully never get into that again.
> 
> Re. your dog - I would try everything possible to try to make it work. I agree that having a few sessions with a trainer is an excellent idea - and don't just do it with yourself, also involve your 7 year old in at least some of the sessions because the dog needs to understand that the child is also above him in the hierarchy. I am so glad you are keeping your baby away from your dog, even if your dog did not have issues I would never leave a baby alone with him, simply because GSD are powerful and might accidentally hurt a little one without meaning to. So I would always make sure they are closely watched whenever they are in the same room.
> 
> ...


Thank you, I'm really happy I'm safe now. He does have a crate, used to hate it, but he's actually been liking it now that my ex has been gone a while. His safe space used to be the backyard. I'm sorry you're going through that, I'll keep you in my prayers. I ended up not being able to do it, I just love him too much and I'm so attached to him. I also think I may have been overthinking it a lot, I know that he feels my emotions and that day was especially difficult because I was sick and woke up to my ex banging on the door and windows. I don't know why I forgot that happened the same day. I was so stressed out and I think he just wanted to help, by attempting to get the baby to leave the room with all that negative energy, not knowing that he can't walk and isn't the source of my stress


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