# Suddenly growling at a family member



## Bob_McBob (Nov 15, 2012)

Writing the post of my nightmares... 

My 2yo male has suddenly started growling at my dad. I've had three incidents so far:

At a family dinner a couple weeks ago my dad was playing around with the dog and picked up his front paws (he has been picked up his whole life and even enjoys being carried), when he started growling at my dad and wouldn't stop even after he was put down. I had to make him (the dog) leave. I suspected he may have had a sore knee that was hurting when he was picked up, but I made a note to monitor the situation since it was completely out of character for him.

A couple nights ago when we were tidying up after dinner, my dad was walking to the kitchen with an armful of coffee mugs and the dog came over to see him and sat in the doorway. They briefly looked at each other, and the dog started growling and raised his hackles. I immediately went over and grabbed him but again he wouldn't stop until I made him leave. I had my dad stare at him again from a distance and he started growling again right away.

Just this evening I was sitting on the sofa in the basement with the dog lying on the floor. My dad came downstairs to say goodnight and both he and the dog came over to the sofa to see me. He was standing over the dog and me and greeted him and briefly scratched his back. The dog started growling and staring intensely at him. I had the dog lie down and I could see his hackles were still raised and he was still staring and did not want me dad standing near him or going near me.

This all started happening within days of our old female being put to sleep (DM complications). The only other behavioural changes I've noticed since then is that he eats his food slower and a couple nights he was almost completely uninterested in his dinner. I can't remember him growling at a person even once before this, especially not a family member he lives with. Everyone tells me he is quite friendly and good-natured, though I will say he's wary of strangers and doesn't like being startled by them in public. I've certainly had my share of behavioural issues with him that I've posted about on the forum before, but they've never been anything similar to this. I think he has some insecurity issues that stem from before I got him that could certainly be related, but this is a brand new development.

In all three situations, after some brief defusing his behaviour was completely back to normal. He is extremely comfortable with extended eye contact because we do so many "watch me" games with him, and within 30 seconds of the second incident he was happily doing this with my dad for treats like nothing had ever happened. I've had family dogs that don't like people lying on them or bear hugging them and would give a short warning growl, but this is much more than that. He was staring at my dad intensely with his hackles up, refusing to back down until I intervened or my dad left. He wasn't following him around, showing his teeth, or barking; just deep growling and intense focus. I think in all three situations the common theme was that my dad was standing or imposing over him in some way.

I'm thinking hard about how to proceed here. I'm not even really sure what the appropriate response is if (when) he does this again. I have a trainer/behaviourist I see regularly and I will certainly contact her right away. I'm sure I've forgotten to include a bunch of relevant information, but I just wanted to get this post written and out there because I feel completely shellshocked and can barely believe it's really happening after that third incident. My trust in him is at an all-time low and I am not feeling very good about things right now.


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## Big Brown Eyes (Jan 11, 2015)

Hello,
I am sorry to hear what happened. Also sorry that one of your female dogs had to be put down.

Your dog is definitely in a stressful situation. I do not know if your dad is visiting or is a regular family member / resident in the same house.

I would recommend you make your dad feed the dog. You know "Hand that feeds..." It helps.

Also, you are doing the right thing by seeking the help of a dog trainer. It will help.

In the mean time, make sure you are around to enforce the correct pack behavior. A dog needs to understand he is the lower most in the pack hierarchy. And while he sees you as the pack leader, he needs to see your dad as higher than him in the pack. 

And don't back down from the dog, don't make your father go away. Instead make the dog sit and stay. Maybe you should try this with a leash on the dog, and your father a safe distance / out of reach of the dog. Re-initiate the conflict and reinforce the correct behavior. 

Good luck.


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## Debanneball (Aug 28, 2014)

Bob, don't despair, I am sure your trainer will repair the bond between your Dad and dog. Good luck.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

The question has to be asked. . . is there any possibility that your dad may have hurt your dog when you weren't around, even accidentally?


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Emoore said:


> The question has to be asked. . . is there any possibility that your dad may have hurt your dog when you weren't around, even accidentally?


I think the dog got hurt when it was picked up by the front paws.

To the OP: this is an issue only your trainer can address, it is very difficult to advise from this side of the computer screen, too many variables.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

I see several things in your post that I would not have done once I knew the dog was uncomfortable. 

- I had my dad stare at him again from a distance and he started growling again right away.
----Of course he did! It was a challenge. He's growling so you KNOW he's already uncomfortable. He's giving clear warnings. And you further escalated it by having your dad stare at him more. You would have been better having your dad not acknowledge and toss food down as he walked by WHILE you had him on a leash for control.

-He was standing over the dog and me and greeted him and briefly scratched his back
----The dog is uncomfortable with him for some reason. He should not be standing over him, crowding him, in any way.

Until your trainer gets this figured out, your dad needs to watch his body language and you need to keep the dog under control at all times so it doesn't escalate. Something happened. Whether the dog was sore when your dad picked up his foot. Whether his hormones are kicking in and the dog is punking your dad. Something changed.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I totally agree the best course of action is to seek professional help. Your dog is stressed, I suspect it started with the loss of a pack mate as well as your dog is picking up on the emotions of the household due to that loss. 

Trying to think of why your dog would focus on your dad. How long has your dad lived in your home? Does your dad have any sort of medical condition? Has your dad started new medication? Is your dad under a great deal of stress? Does your dad drink? Sometimes a heavy drinker will exhibit body language that a dog feels threatening. 

I'm not requesting for you provide intimate personal information on an open forum, I'm just trying to get you to think of why your dog would suddenly focus on your dad. I agree that aggravating a sore leg and causing pain could be part of the reason, but I've got a feeling it's something deeper than that.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Lilie said:


> I totally agree the best course of action is to seek professional help. Your dog is stressed, I suspect it started with the loss of a pack mate as well as your dog is picking up on the emotions of the household due to that loss.


We had littermates, Bandit and Banshee. Bandit died in an accident. The whole thing traumatized Banshee so much that if she didn't know you and like you BEFORE Bandit died, be very careful. She became human aggressive to any strange adult.

It's entirely possible that losing his 'friend' has set off insecurities that were not noticeable before.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Jax08 said:


> We had littermates, Bandit and Banshee. Bandit died in an accident. The whole thing traumatized Banshee so much that if she didn't know you and like you BEFORE Bandit died, be very careful. She became human aggressive to any strange adult.
> 
> It's entirely possible that losing his 'friend' has set off insecurities that were not noticeable before.


Great point.


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## Bob_McBob (Nov 15, 2012)

Thank you very much for the replies everyone. Just to clarify, I live with my dad and he's known the dog since he was a puppy. He is my dog but they've always had a completely normal family pet relationship including feeding and playing. I also get my dad to do some minor training activities with him like sits and stays and focused attention for treats. He's taken care of the dog for me for weeks at a time when I'm away without any problem whatsoever. There hasn't been the slightest hint of hostility directed at my dad before these three incidents.




Big Brown Eyes said:


> I would recommend you make your dad feed the dog. You know "Hand that feeds..." It helps.
> 
> In the mean time, make sure you are around to enforce the correct pack behavior. A dog needs to understand he is the lower most in the pack hierarchy. And while he sees you as the pack leader, he needs to see your dad as higher than him in the pack.
> 
> And don't back down from the dog, don't make your father go away. Instead make the dog sit and stay. Maybe you should try this with a leash on the dog, and your father a safe distance / out of reach of the dog. Re-initiate the conflict and reinforce the correct behavior.


My dad feeds the dog around half the time. We've always done NILIF for everything and that includes his dinner. The thing is, I'm not really sure how I would re-initiate this conflict even if I wanted to (should I? will I need to?), because I don't have a good idea of what triggered it in the first place. This afternoon I looked over and he was literally lying on my dad's feet while he prepared lunch, trying to get him to play with a toy, immediately followed by rolling on his back for a belly rub. He's very comfortable with being around my dad and interacting with him and his reaction in these incidents was completely unexpected.




Emoore said:


> The question has to be asked. . . is there any possibility that your dad may have hurt your dog when you weren't around, even accidentally?


The only thing I can think of is that my dad did catch the dog's tail in the car door right before the last two incidents, but it was a pretty minor thing. Even I've done that by accident. I recently stomped on his paw while we were moving furniture because he got underfoot, and he was more concerned about that than the car thing.




Jax08 said:


> I see several things in your post that I would not have done once I knew the dog was uncomfortable.
> 
> - I had my dad stare at him again from a distance and he started growling again right away.
> ----Of course he did! It was a challenge. He's growling so you KNOW he's already uncomfortable. He's giving clear warnings. And you further escalated it by having your dad stare at him more. You would have been better having your dad not acknowledge and toss food down as he walked by WHILE you had him on a leash for control.
> ...


Just to be clear, I wouldn't ever ask my dad to re-engage him like that again; it was so completely out of character for my dog that I wanted to see for myself that he was growling simply because of brief eye contact. I've already asked my dad to not stand over him like the third incident. What do you mean by keep him under control? Keep him leashed to me in the house? I've been doing that most of the time.

Something I should mention is that my dog tends to get in moods in the evening where he is more on edge and will jump up and bark if you stand up or he hears a noise. Probably no surprise all three incidents were in the evening. This dates back to his behaviour issues with the other dog and I've been working on it more now she isn't around. I've made a ton of progress with his behaviour and training since I got him, so this growling thing feels like a major blow.

I am most concerned about the second incident because my dad wasn't doing anything obviously "wrong" like holding him or standing over him or me. My dog walked over and decided to sit in a doorway as my dad approached him, and simply making normal eye contact and walking towards him was enough to elicit the growling. In all these incidents my dog was persistent enough about growling at my dad and not backing down that I could actually have conversations with my dad about what to do as I defused the situation, so I want to emphasize it's a far cry from a little warning growl.

Honestly, the worst thing about this is that I don't feel like I can trust him anymore and I'm on edge, wondering if something else is going to happen. Is it just my dad, or is it other people? Was he curious and friendly with that lady watching our training session on the weekend, or was he worried and sizing her up? It is worrying.




Lilie said:


> Trying to think of why your dog would focus on your dad. How long has your dad lived in your home? Does your dad have any sort of medical condition? Has your dad started new medication? Is your dad under a great deal of stress? Does your dad drink? Sometimes a heavy drinker will exhibit body language that a dog feels threatening.
> 
> I'm not requesting for you provide intimate personal information on an open forum, I'm just trying to get you to think of why your dog would suddenly focus on your dad. I agree that aggravating a sore leg and causing pain could be part of the reason, but I've got a feeling it's something deeper than that.


My dad doesn't drink or take any medications, and nothing has changed in the household other than the loss of the other dog. I think I answered the rest above.




Jax08 said:


> We had littermates, Bandit and Banshee. Bandit died in an accident. The whole thing traumatized Banshee so much that if she didn't know you and like you BEFORE Bandit died, be very careful. She became human aggressive to any strange adult.
> 
> It's entirely possible that losing his 'friend' has set off insecurities that were not noticeable before.


I wouldn't say they were best friends (certainly not as far as she was concerned!) but he is very dog focused and she was always his primary concern around the house. I have noticed he's spending more time sleeping near me than he did before, which is partially because she didn't want him lying near her for the last few months when I was sitting in the kitchen. It's obvious he realizes she is gone and has stopped doing a lot of the things he used to, like seeking her out when we come home, getting really excited when you get out the bowls at meal times, and so on. He's also being left completely alone in the house for the first time since he was a puppy, though I work at home most of the time so he is pretty spoiled for attention and interaction in general.

I've sent off an email to my trainer so hopefully I can start working on this quickly.


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## Steve Strom (Oct 26, 2013)

Hey Bob, in all honesty you really already do have it figured out. Insecure, 2yrs old now, crowding triggers something different now. There's not a simple link to any one incident, more like its cumulative and was just waiting to happen. And you have to remember that nothing in life is free doesn't fix a dogs temperament. 

But nilif does give you a plan for living with a dog like this, to a certain point. One, I wouldn't ever fully trust him. Definitely not with your dad, but not with strangers either.

I wouldn't give him the freedom to roam the house and be in doorways etc, I wouldn't let him decide to approach me at the same time as someone else. Use a crate or at the very least a solid place command. I like to use a place command in a little different way, where I don't make it dependent on any article like a mat or bed or anything. Its just a casual down wherever I put them. 

Its all management, not to earn rewards or more freedom, all just to keep things from ever happening. Maybe at some point, he gains a kind of confidence from the structure of following the rules you've set, but he's still going to be the same dog and changing of any of that structure could still lead to something.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Bob_McBob said:


> Something I should mention is that my dog tends to get in moods in the evening where he is more on edge


Look up dog aggression, night hours and serotonin levels. Pretty interesting stuff.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I think your father probably unintentionally hurt the dog and the dog remembers and is uncomfortable around him. I would not stress the dog any further and escalate the situation by pushing him to be around your father. It is likely that the memory of the negative experience will fade with time. Until then you have to try and diffuse this situation as much as possible.


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