# Sudden aggression towards boyfriend



## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Background: a 7 month old duck Toller female, unspayed, has not come into season yet. Have had since 8 weeks old, boyfriend and I live together.

She has done resource guarding of high value items like Chewies or a cat toy. We work on this by approaching with treats, working on drop, take, drop, etc. I do a lot of holding the chew. Is better, but I would never just take something from her. She did break my skin once, when this first started, but not since we've been doing the training. I have read several books, including "mine".

Now the past two weeks boyfriend has been on a trip, so it's been just us. He got home Monday night. Tonight, three times she snarled, snapped and came after him aggressively. Once when she was licking something in the dishwasher, he put his hand down, thinking nothing of it ( I wouldn't have either). She snapped at him and jumped at him showing big teeth. Scared the crap out of us.

Second time she was chewing a chew, and he came towards her, looking at her, but not motioning to take it. He was probably 4 feet away... She suddenly tensed up, snarled, jumped snapping at him. 

After this we did some training with him and her, treats and drop, with the chew, etc.

Then awhile later, she was sprawled out out on the couch, and I wa approaching to move her off. Boyfriend came into room, and went over to pet her. I think he was actually, then all of a Sudden she snapped snarling and coming at him again!!

I am freaking out. So is he...he's not really a dog person to begin with so very scary for him. I am attributing this to him being gone and now maybe she is looking at him as a threat or something? Guarding the couch? He lays there.... 

Any tips appreciated. I am contacting our trainer ASAP.


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## BellaLuna (Jan 27, 2013)

That would definitely be a good start,it's scary when a dog reacts that way even if we are dog people are not... Hope you get this situation under control...


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## Carriesue (Aug 13, 2012)

Our golden was a resource guarder though he never showed aggression to people. It sounds like maybe she doesn't have enough boundaries and rules? One major way we broke our golden of guarding was doing NILIF with him... Nothing in life is free, Nothing in Life is Free. That web page gives a lot of valuable information! I also think for now that it might be a good idea to not leave her toys laying around where she can have access to them whenever she wants and when she's eating or has a chew that she goes in her crate... That will help reduce a lot of these incidents from occurring until you can get a better handle on it.

There are probably more here better suited to give advice and hopefully they'll chime in soon but this would be my first step along with getting in contact with a trainer or behaviorist.

Good luck!


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thanks...Being my first puppy I am worried about everything and this is certainly freaking me out a lot. I spend HOURS every day on forums reading everything I can and have read many books on behavior training, etc. We do NILF, though perhaps I have let up on it in the past month or 2 as she is becoming more settled. So I will be certain I am doing that again.

As far as chewing in her crate, here is my issue with that: she is crated from 9:30 at night until about 5-5:30 in the morning. Then we get up, do our thing.... I like to have her chew something for 15 or so minutes so that I can eat breakfast in peace: otherwise I have to be on her constantly to leave the cat alone. I feel bad about putting her in her crate to chew because she has only been out for maybe 30 minutes or less. Am I being too sensitive?

Same issue at night with chew, really... though could probably crate her while we eat dinner but I like her to be out as much as possible as I do work 8-5 (home for hour lunch), and so I like to devote as much time in the evening to her as possible with as little crate as we can.

I will be talking to a trainer tonight to see what ideas she has.

Any further suggestions and help is greatly appreciated. I know I dont have a GSD, but I relate a lot to the people on this forum, and appreciate how nobody is afraid to really tell you what you REALLY need to know, even if said person might not want to hear it!


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## mebully21 (Nov 18, 2011)

no furniture privileges at all anymore since the one instance she snapped at the bf while she was on the couch.. start strict NILIF immediately so she EARNS everything including food... i would start hand feeding her her kibble and incorporating her training with NILIF (nothing in life is free the link was posted in another post above) i would also leash her in the house this way should you need to move her you and the bf dont have to reach for her collar and get bit.
has she been this way since a puppy when you got her with the resource guarding?

remove ALL her toys/chews and put them in a box where she cant get them. she wants a chew /toy she must EARN it.. no more freedom.. she has to earn that too..

if you feel bad about crating her during the day then you can put a tether in the wall or floor and she can be out but tethered so that she isnt crated... 

i would also up her exercise 100% and do more obedience and teach her new skills like opening doors, shut lights, etc to exercise her mind , as mental exercise is just as important as physical exercise.


i used all the above on my one previous dog and a bunch of foster dogs and it all worked fine as long as you have patience... do not use physical force!! that only makes the resource guarding worse... use only positive training..


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thank you Maryellen for the great tips! I would say I surely dont do NILIF to that extent, but will start that now.

Last night we saw our trainer, and she informed me (and showed me) that I should no longer be "Trading" treats for chews with my pup. Instead it is just that the chew is MINE, and she can have it when I say, and I give it back to me when I say. Period. I of course was wondering how in the world to do this as I didnt want to get my hand taken off trying to take it from me! 

By the time we were done, about 15 minutes later - Em would sit with me putting the chew right in her face, and NOT take it until I said "ok". Then I could also take the chew at anytime. Now I have to have my boyfriend do this, too, and us both work on this every day with Em.

Also, the couch is 100% OFF LIMITS to her, unless she is sitting calmly, being petted, after being invited.

And then my boyfriend is going to take over some feeding duties - making her sit & wait until he says OK - and putting her in her crate at night, etc. 

Hopefully with all this and the tips from you guys, we will fix this problem before it gets too out of hand.

Maryellen - Initial resource guarding started at about 16 weeks old, and has only been very sporadic since. Once a month maybe - although we have been swapping for treats this entire time mostly - up until about last week or so I have been now having her drop and come to my side, then I will pick up the chew and give it back in a moment or 2. So I thought it was getting better, but then this issue with my boyfriend came up.

She sure is a stinker! I never thought having a puppy would be so much work and so stressful. I am learning a lot though and I do love her dearly. She is a great dog!


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

Super update! Keep up the good work


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## mebully21 (Nov 18, 2011)

thats great. just be careful with your bf with how the trainer said to get the item back.. i prefer the trade game and then work my way up to no item to trade (for me its just safer) but every trainer does it differently.. hopefully your bf will be fine with doing it.

did you get her at 16 weeks? its possible it is from her being with her littermates fighting for food, most pups who show this had to fight their littermates for food


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Maryellen, I got her at 8 weeks. She hasnt had issues with food, its only been with chew or a high value toy (like a cat toy she isnt supposed to have!). This thing with my BF is out of no where and I dont know if it is coincidence he just came home from being gone 2 weeks or what.

I agree about being careful with the boy & the chew trading. It is scary enough for me, but I am going to do it a bunch first to get her more used to the idea, and have him watch so he is comfortable. We can trade treats with her with no problem. In fact we did that a bunch after the 2nd incident the other night.... Then 30 minutes later she snapped at him while she was on the couch with no toy or treat in sight!


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## Roemly's Mama (Apr 3, 2013)

Second Fear period? I had a situation where my puppy (7.5 months) reacted to me! it was short lived but I knew it was fear and nothing more, or less. It was actually quite fascinating and my trainer gave me some info on the Second Fear Period. It all made sense.


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## mebully21 (Nov 18, 2011)

no more couch at all ever for now.. no couches, no beds no furniture at all .... she gets no couch/furniture privileges as right now she is being a snot . she has to EARN the right, and right now she cant ... my last gsd was really bad, i had to keep a 3 foot leash on her as she would bite if you tried to get her off the couch, so a leash was put on and she had ZERO free roam until she stopped being a snot.. it took a year for her to earn couch privileges.

yeah, high value items will bring on resource guarding in some dogs. usually the ones that are not confident i have seen. 

i would up her exercise and training, and no furniture at all for a few months.. buckle down and enforce the rules of no furniture and practice NILIF ..


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thanks again! Going good. I did some work last night with a chew, giving it it her and taking back with no treat. A little scary for me, because she did get nasty, but no biting. I a, beginning to see right now it is all show really - not biting.,.but we don't want it to get to that point. We had good work. 

She also reacted to my bf again, but he didn't back down this time and stood his ground. It worked as well.

She is learning no couch for her! She used to try to stay up, this morning I just told her and she got off. 

I have put toys away... Only toy she gets is if one of us gives it to her. And I am enforcing strict sit, waits at the door, before eating, etc.


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## mebully21 (Nov 18, 2011)

she should not be able to get on the couch. can you block the couch with an Xpen or a gate? this way she isnt able to even get on the couch.. or keep her leashed and tied to either you or your bf so that she has NO freedom at all and has to go where you both go.. i used a double plastic xpen to block my couch from my gsd so that she couldnt get on the couch at all.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thanks again Maryellen, I sure appreciate your help and advice.

We are trying to block her from the couch with a table - it is helping. And hey, it is nice to have our "foot table" back! I have been keeping her on a leash all the time now inside and instructed BF to always go for the leash first, and NOT bend down over her. She snapped at him downstairs the other night -- I was not around, nor were there toys or treats - but downstairs I suspect she was thinking was "hers" as well. He did NOT back down, and had to grab her front and scruff her. He received a bit of a bite for his good work unfortunately, but just a small puncture. So this is when I went for the leash at all times - I should have done that before. 

I think I "care" for her too much and worry about her not having freedom, etc... I need to stop that. She is fine, on a leash! She is not being tortured. In fact, the other night, she seemed more calm. Lots of time she moves from one spot to the other in the evening when she is napping and it is later. But when she was leashed and I wasnt letting her further than the leash would go - she plunked down and slept happily in one spot.

She also tried to snap at him when we were outside on the deck yesterday - but we are getting better at seeing it come, and he quickly grabbed her and put a stop to it. 

I tried a bit of work giving her a chew, and then taking it away. I put heavy leather gloves on first though. Good thing, as she went for me but I didnt back down. 

It is frustrating though and how long will this take? I am so upset that she has gotten like this... why? Puppies are supposed to be fun, not make life more difficult.

Thankfully she is only 7.5 months old I guess. Young enough I hope to put an end to this, but it makes you afraid. :-(


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## PupperLove (Apr 10, 2010)

If you are afraid of her, she is going to sense that and take advantage of you and your boyfriend. She knows that her actions are causing you to back off. If my dog ever snapped at me he would be on a major lock down with no privileges what so ever. I think your puppy thinks she runs the place.

I am not sure that working on giving and taking the toy back n' fourth is the only thing you should be doing. Does she know "drop it"? She needs to know to drop it, and *needs* to obey that. You shouldn't have to negotiate with her. She is the dog and she needs to listen to you. She is treating you as if you are another dog and challenging you both.

Like others have suggested, she needs to earn everything. I would start by hand feeding her. Let her know that your hands bring 'goodies'. I would not be allowing her to have a chew toy at all at this point. That will only give her the opportunity to continue snapping. Do the hand feeding for a few weeks, and then try offering a chew while you are holding it. I wouldn't let go of it. After a few minutes, command her to drop it and go do something else that's fun. I would also say you probably need to work on your presence around her. I understand that her snapping at you may be scary, but when she snaps and you quietly back off, she is getting exactly what she wants in terms of a response from you (backing off). To me it seems like she's walking around the house with her chest all puffed up, personally, I would work on breaking that down. You obviously want a confident dog, but she's overly confident in herself and needs clear, firm rules, and you need to make sure you are coming across firmly in delivering those rules. 

I am not a trainer, but I have never had any problems with any of my dogs and resource guarding. I am firm in the house rules, have a firm presence with the dogs, and they earn their stuff from very early on and have accepted that human hands are a positive part of getting their treats, toys, etc.

I think there is a very good chance that she will become a 'normal dog'. She is very young yet, and considering her breed, she can't be very big. Just be glad she's not a full grown 90 lb. GSD! Don't let your dog intimidate you.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thank you Laura, I really value your input!

She knows drop it very well. If we are playing, I say drop it, she lets go - except for chews. SOMETIMES when I Say drop it works, others not so well.

I make her sit & wait at the door to come in or out until I say it is OK. When we are fetching outside, she has to sit and wait at my side to go get it until I say OK. We are doing training classes twice a week. She has to sit & wait for her food. I hand fed her for the first month I had her. My BF is hand feeding her dinner now, we will do this for a few weeks.

Last night I had a chew for her but I held it the entire time, and took it away whenever I wanted. Worked well. 

I do my very best to "PUFF UP" my chest and move towards her with purpose, and I need to instill his in my BF... he is likely afraid now so it is more difficult. He is a cat person and likes to "baby talk" to her like he does the cats.... Ugh. He needs to stop this - he doesnt understand dogs at all so it is a big learning process for him, especially now. He is being a lot more open about doing what is right now though. In fact I am trying to get him to just completely ignore her except for feeding, taking out, going in crate and doing training. No more fun talking petting etc etc. All business. This is how I was with her from the start (and now as well, though not as much). I had him let her out of her crate last night after we got home from dinner - this is how he was, "Oh hi emme, how are you, do you want to come out ok here we go"... I told him no, dont say anything to her, dont look at her. Walk over, open the door, and snap on her leash and collar and go outside. NO talking until she pee's, then "Good potty" and a little romp. 

Thank you all again. I will continue to update.


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## PupperLove (Apr 10, 2010)

Well it sounds like you are doing good things in regards to getting her on the right track. Yes, your boyfriend definitely needs to stand his ground. I think if you continue with what you are doing you will begin to see results. She is very young yet and I remember when my dog was around her age, he got very testy. He tested every single boundry we had accomplished. There were days- and even up to a week- where I hardly spoke to/loved on him, just all 'business'. It was a tough time, but we got through it and he turned out great. We had a lot of fearfulness (he has weaker nerves, not horrible, but not great either) and defiance with him. And this stage they go through might be part of why she is acting out. And they go through a fear stage at this time as well. This doesn't sound like fear to me, but just be aware of this. She is learning that she is bigger, can test you, and get certain things if she acts a certain way. I would keep working on the drop it command. If she already knows it, that's great! Now you have to figure out how to make her respond no matter what she is carrying. Just continue to stand your ground, give her zero privileges until she shows improvements, she must earn EVERYTHING (which it sounds like you are doing). Keep up on the training of both her and your boyfriend (LOL!). She will turn out fine, I'm sure.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

*Thank you that means a lot. *I need some light at the end of the tunnel!

Here are the "Cliff Notes" I am preparing for my BF (he asked for cliff notes... hehe)...

Be calm, yet aloof and assertive, top dog! You are in charge.
•	Don’t baby talk her - the only talking to she needs is direction "go potty", sit, down, etc. Be firm and clear. 1 direction. Praise only when does something good, and then make it high praise "GOOD GIRL!!!!"

No bending over her head to reach down to her

Only pet her if she comes and sits nicely in front of you - can give treat then, or just praise.

Make her sit & wait until you say OK to go outside, inside, or eat something.
•	She ALWAYS has to do something before she gets a treat or petting. 

Sit, down, anything. NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE for her.

Advise hand feeding a meal once a day for a couple weeks

Continue to practice training: sit, down, stay, leave it, DROP, etc

ALWAYS TAKE LEASH FIRST to remove from furniture or away from situation. She will always be on a leash in the house until she earns back the right.

If she starts getting mouthy, remove yourself. Do not encourage mouthiness - some of this can be seen as dominant behavior.

If she gets overexcited (Like at the beach...) - grab leash tight, tell her calmly and firmly "STOP", and walk with her. So close so she cant move away at all. Then do sit, down, stay. Wait for calm.

TOY PLAY: Toys are only given by you or me, not lying about for anytime play. "DROP" means she drops it, NOW. Throw toy, take back, etc.... Toy goes away when you are done.

All chews are either in her crate shut, or if you are holding it. 
I will work with taking chews away from time to time with gloves

Not allowed on furniture, period.


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## mebully21 (Nov 18, 2011)

scruffing is going to make it worse. that is not positive training.. get a new trainer.

find a positive trainer. 

get the book MINE by Jean Donaldson

this takes time and patience , it wont be solved over night, and by not usin treats to trade up and just taking her toys etc is making her worse..


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## David Taggart (Nov 25, 2012)

Dogs recognize adrenaline as a smell. Your boyfriend, even if he doesn't reveal it in any way, is scared of dogs and your puppy can smell it. She is playing with his fear being driven by jealosy. She wants to be number one for you and she doesn't want him to be in your bed, she doesn't like him going into the fridge and she hates seing him kissing you. She simply doesn't accept him, or, better to say - she stopped accepting him because she has grown older and can express her feelings more bravely than before. Don't push her away, or chastise her for being agressive, just ignore her. When she knows that she doesn't impress anybody with her snapping she will stop it. Don't allow your bf to escalate the conflict, he must ignore your dog's presence first of all.


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## Ceasar (Jul 30, 2012)

I'm hearing a resounding things as I've read this thread and suggestions and your responses to them. I can definitely see how this can be unsettling... but you and the bf have to put your big boy and girl panties on for this one. Here's what I am getting from your words AND reading in between the lines: 

*Boyfriend*: Not necessary a pet or dog person so he's not asserting dominance in the household. He loves her but doesn't necessarily know how to navigate her mental growth. He was also away for two weeks which was confusing to her in either one of or both: _1. Where did you go? I'm used to you and I missed you? or 2. You left so now I'm second in charge. You're back?? Well now YOU can get behind ME. _Is this the first time he's gone away for that duration of time or does he frequently travel for business? How does your relationship with her change when he is gone? 

*You*: I'm hearing that her behavior is frightening to you... and she's still a puppy. If EITHER of you show her fear or apprehension of her behavior, you are going to feed what she is experimenting with. I'm hearing, _*"We are trying to keep her off of the couch with a table"*_ whereby that should really be, _*"SHE'S OFF THE FURNITURE PERIOD, WE AREN'T HAVING THAT."*_ We don't allow her to grouse about it either. She's not pleased with us but it is what it is. 

*Baby*: She's growing, maturing, trying to assert herself and take the lead in your pack. If you show her fear or apprehension, she is going to sign on for a rumble with the expectation of taking charge. 

I adopted my first GSD when he was three, immature for his age and had already asserted himself over his previous adults. I had a job on my hands. Once or twice he thought of asserting himself over me. We've had a few MOMENTS together -- I had to be the unmistakable TOP DOG -- and it was scary -- and I had to call him out and see how far he was willing to take it -- but I was resolute that I was NOT GOING TO BE AFRAID OF ANY ANIMAL THAT LIVES WITH ME -- and he read that -- but had I backed down, I think I'd have quite a beast on my hands. _He_ challenges _my_ boyfriend also. Ceasar particularly is gamey with Paul when he's laying on the couch because his 6'3" height is gone and they are face to face. Paul never entertains that. He sends him away and sits up. 

Consider emotionality as well. Paul's dog died in February and while he grieved his own, he was distant from mine, he didn't give them much affection if any and he stopped playing with them. They were patient for a while but eventually, Ceasar took it personally, and stopped listening to his commands - which he ignored at the very beginning also. Absolutely like, "*What... you can't throw me the ball, then go  yourself because I'm not listening to you*." Paul groused about the lack of respect, and just like any good bartender, Mom or relationship counselor, I called it what it was, he has re-engaged, and the relationship is getting better again. 

I don't know what her triggers are for negative behavior. So I wouldn't impose the activities that work for bonding here, unless you specifically wanted to know what we do. Those are specific to every dog, but I would have your boyfriend do some consistent positive activity with her that would place him in a position of authority with her... and you for that matter. Give her something to consistently count on that keeps her in the submissive yet provides her with comfort, consistency and stability. 

And YOU BOTH need to keep her OFF OF THAT COUCH!!! :hammer::crazy:

Yes it's disheartening and upsetting, but if you don't assert yourself and gain authority in your household, then it is over and the escalation of aggression is only a matter of time. Nip it now.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Ceasar said:


> Is this the first time he's gone away for that duration of time or does he frequently travel for business? How does your relationship with her change when he is gone?


This is the first time since we got her at 8 weeks old he has been gone more than 2 nights. When he was gone, well, it was just her & I. I take care of her 90% of the time anyway, but I did allow her up on the couch, when before we were trying to keep her off the couch (we had previously allowed her up, but it became an issue as she would just leap up at anytime, so we decided no couch). My bad - I was sick... being lazy... So I guess she was then figuring the couch was HERS.

Thank you all for your advice and guidance. I very much appreciate it. 

*I DID NOT LIKE this "scruffing" technique our trainer recommended. *At first, I was just doing what I was told, because I was so afraid of what had happened, I had to do something... but then as the week progressed and the weekend, I realized no... it wasnt right, and wasnt going to fix this situation. Having to put leather gloves on to take a chew away from my dog is NOT correct. She should want to give it to me, not want to tear my hand apart. What I saw as NOT something I had ever seen before and dont want to see again. I am great friends with, and trust our trainer - we have done agility together for 10 years, and she is the one who introduced me to clicker training. Everything else she's ever shown me has been positive training, so this really threw me for a loop.

*I want to set her up for SUCCESS.* I will go back to the trading up. It was working - slowly - but working. This weird behavior with my boyfriend... well, we will work on that too. He will become a treat factory. She of course, will have to DO something to get the treats - but she will learn he is a treat machine! And no reason to not want to be near him at all times! treats galore! We love the boyfriend!! 

There is no more couch for Emme. None. Period.

She is on a leash in the house 100% - it is much easier to take the leash and move her away from a situation that will escalate. Chews are going to be had in her crate. We will work on trading up for chews as well - but if I want her to have some good quality time with a chew, in her crate she goes so she can chew it in peace and not worry about us.

I just wish I knew *WHY*. I always need to know why... so it frustrates me. What did I do wrong? Have I screwed up my puppy that has so much potential and is amazing in every other way? She really is amazing! At class last night, we had a wobble board - she's never been on one. No fear whatsoever. All the other dogs were anxious to get off, scared... Nope, not Em. No fear of the tunnel, no fear of the chute. No fear ever! She is not fearful. So I guess she is just overly confident? I want to know WHY. Perhaps I cant know why and just need to accept it and fix it.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

We had a good couple nights - though we've been busy with classes both Mon & Tues so she's been pretty tuckered out by the time we get home. 

BF has been dispensing treats (for sits, downs). I think I need to tell him to be a bit less "military" about it though, and try to just be "fun". 

Last night 2 interesting things happened.

1) I had given her a new toy she picked up this past weekend. A rubber chicken... She LOVES it. I asked her to drop, and she didnt. So I went to take it and she started tugging... Drop again... Nothing. Took it. Then she did this again, but instead of just tugging she got a little growly at ME. I stepped forward, grabbed her leash and gave it a tug, said KNOCK IT OFF very sternly and took the toy. She stared at me like, "What... I didnt do anything.....". Then I got some treats and we worked on our drops with this toy. She is a STINKER though. The moment she knows I have treats, she drops quicker than anything.

2) After BF had been giving treats, we were milling around the kitchen and he had said a few things to her - I'm not sure what, I think it was just "good girl" or about having treats and how yummy they were. I thought she looked a bit odd, like she was uncomfortable - and she went over on the carpet by the door, looked up at BF, squatted and peed. ------- Now, I dont know if she looked uncomfortable and peed because she HAD TO GO and nobody was paying attention to her signals, or if she WAS uncomfortable for some reason with him talking to her and it was a submissive pee?

Thoughts?


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Update... We had a very bad night last night. Friday, saturday, sunday except last night were great. BF got over being angry at the dog, and was back to treating her, spending time with her - even had her up in his lap checking for ticks several times. Played fetch with her. Doing REALLY WELL.

And then.

We were oooh'ing at the moon coming up over the lake - I was on the couch. Kevin came over to windows to take a picture - he was standing nearish the couch. Em came over, too, and snuck up on the couch real fast. I can keep her off the middle parts but she can sneak up a side. She has been REALLY GOOD about not going on the couch!! So I just took her leash and said our standard "Get off" - like I have a million times.

Just then BF turned around, and she lunged at him - I can still hear the snarl in my head - and bit his arm. I grabbed her leash and put her in her crate immediately.

She bit him pretty good - a very painful 1 inch gash on his forearm. Not terribly deep, but enough to make it painful and think a moment about will it need stitches? We peroxided it, rinsed with water and doused with antibiotic ointment and bandaids. I am sure it will be fine but he is going to get a bruise as well and it HURTS.

So now what? I couldnt even sleep last night I am just in shock and scared and horrified. Right now this is just my BF but what if... ??????????? I'm freaking out. THis whole thing is ripping a huge hole in my relationship as well.

I dont know what to do.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Been through all this with my girlfriend and our GSD. He needs to walk your dog a lot, do obedience work to assert dominance, and do a lot of positive reinforcement. Worked for us but took nearly 3 months before my GSD accepted my girlfriend as an alpha. 

Patience is key. Also, maybe have him wear an article of your clothing. Associating your bf with your smell may help a lot. 

Be patient- it will get easier. 


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thank you Buggibub. We will see... I am not sure how open BF is going to be to *anything* pup related now. We were having a hard enough time as it was. Not sure how far he can be pushed. :-(


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

How does your dog behave with your bf when you aren't around?


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Generally I am always around... though momentarily not like if I am doing laundry or something. He doesnt spend much time with her alone. He was yesterday afternoon for awhile and all was just fine. Its frustrating because she is always super excited to see him and acts normal 95% of the time.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Is it safe to say that when you are not around, your dog is comfortable around your bf and issues with your dog's behavior only arise when you are around?


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

I'm not sure one could make that assumption. She did attack him downstairs when this all started, and I was upstairs. So she was alone with him then. 

I do wonder if it is ME she's guarding, but except for that incident throws it off.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Sounds like your dog is confused about where it stands. You're going back and forth from dog to bf to dog. I was doing the same thing. 

It goes back to what most of us have mentioned- getting your dog to understand its role in the relationship you have with your boyfriend.

You mentioned you immediately put your dog in the crate after the bite- do you utilize the crate strictly for negative reinforcement or does the dog sleep in the crate, etc.? 

There needs to be a "timeout" place where your dog can't see you to give it time to calm down that isn't the crate. Bathroom, laundry room, for ex. That "punishment" directly addresses the behavior and gets your dog to calm down. Put the dog in the timeout room without saying a word. They'll know why they're in there. Maybe have your bf spend more time with the dog without you around the premises. Walks, play time, t-touch work will all help a lot. 

Do you have any other dogs?



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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thanks much Buggibub, I do appreciate your insight!!!

Crate is where she sleeps at night, while we are away, eating dinner, etc. She loves her crate and knows it is a good spot to take a nap and get a break. We do not use it for negative reinforcement except in critical times like this I had to put her somewhere at the time.

No other dogs :-( But 4 cats... 

Hoping to be able to talk about this rationally soon with BF, last night we were both just too shocked, horrified... I was just numb really. And now I cry about it when I start thinking of it so its difficult. 

So lets say he does start coming to classes with us (hard for him, he works a lot) - starts working with her more with me gone. How is he to guard himself from being attacked out of nowhere? 

I guess we need to be more aware of her "zones" -- but it seems kinda for somebody to be unable to go wherever they want in their own home whenever they want. And I thought she was over this issue as well. Ugh.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Doesn't necessarily lend itself to your bf going to classes. Simple obedience work on a walk goes a long way. 

One thing your bf can do in the home is "tether" the dog to him. An ULTRALIGHT leash with a plastic clip will work. We got a plastic english-style (standard leash-type) clip and 1/8" steel line that was coated for $3 at the Home Depot and had them cut it 6' like a standard leash. So light the dog won't notice. Have your dog clipped on and make your bf take it everywhere he goes around the house. If your dog starts to cop an attitude, immediately place it in the timeout zone.

I can't stress the importance of not using the crate for behavioral correction because that can create a new, separate issue. 


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Basically this teaches the dog it's beta role with your boyfriend. The catch is you need to use the ultralight with your dog as well so it can comprehend the equality of the roles you and your bf share over the dog. 


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thanks again Buggibub, this is some new information I will see if we can give that a shot. I do this with her to ME... and she does not behave like this ever with me, so it makes sense if we did it with BF.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Yep. 

Don't thank me unless it works lol


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Things are worse. She was simply laying in the floor, snoozing after a busy evening, BF laying in couch like he always does. Out of NOWHERE at all, she lunged at him, trying to do harm. Ripped his shirt. Thankfully I had her on her leash and was holding on so was able to yank her off. So frightening. It was difficult last night anyway, and this! he wants me to give her back to our breeder, who of course will take her. I spoke to her last night and she is just mystified. She is going to talk to their trainer, and the sires owner.

At this point he is scared of her, period. I would be too.

I just don't know what to do. I need to get a muzzle until we can figure out what to do. He is kinda open to suggestions, but this is SO BAD, it's hard to be. Is it right to keep her muzzled and leashed all the time? What if she starts with other people? Sofar it is just him.

I fear this will do irreparable damage to our relationship. She's my dream come true, and he will always be the reason I had to get rid of her.

If anybody has any words of wisdom, I'd take them.


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

First off. He is NOT the reason you may have to rehome her. HE is not the problem. 

And honestly, not a very good dream if if she is viciously attacking people. 

this type of aggression needs to be dealt with off the web boards, support is fine, but you need a trainer right there with, showing you how to do things, correcting you if you are wrong, and actually SEEING the dog to make a fair evaluation. Not all aggression is the same, not all aggression responds to the same methods. 

People here are wonderful, but by using them instead of a qualified trainer/behaviorist you are asking for a dog that is dangerous. 




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## mebully21 (Nov 18, 2011)

return her to her breeder, she has been doing this for a long time, and its now getting worse. sometimes the dog doesnt fit the owner and vice versa. its NOT your boyfriends fault she is like this, so get that out of your head now. call the breeder and return her NOW.... the dog is giving signals that both of you are not seeing and its not just out of the blue aggression. if this was my dog i would return her immediately to the breeder .


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

This is definitely something that needs to be worked with in person. You can do that while still doing things positively if you look for/find the right trainer. If you click on my name and follow my recent posts I posted some links for someone on finding good trainers. 

Is Patricia McConnell anywhere near you? Dog's Best Friend Training | Dog's Best Friend Training http://www.dogsbestfriendtraining.com/in-home-consultations

I would though, if this were me, quickly contact Tufts to get things going with them: PETFAX Behavior Consultation: Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University I would always do this (or other vet school behaviorists like at UW). 

I've only met a few Tollers, they were ball obsessed and active. Needed a lot of movement to keep them up and happy. 

I would muzzle her for now - use a muzzle protocol and a comfy Italian basket type muzzle and leash her to you. But completely agree that this is something to deal with professionals for.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Thank you all - I of course am seeking training/behaviorist and am greatly alarmed and upset about all of this. I've spent the past 24 hours + alternating between sobbing and panicing. I appreciate all insights, and am not expecting my problems to be solved by a message board on the internet - just looking for insight from others, as well as support, and frank advice which I very much appreciate.

one can try to skirt around issues... but outsiders can sometimes see things more clearly.

I hadnt thought of looking into Patricia McConnell - she is about 3 hours south of me but could be an option.

Thank you for the Petfax link, I was unaware of this.

I have ordered a basket muzzle overnight delivery so that we can at least start there.

One thing to note :she has NOT been doing this a long time. It started after BF left for a business trip for 2 weeks. When he got back it started - that has been exactly 2 weeks ago. Yes she has resource guarded bones - but we were working on that pretty well. 

Ugh.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

So BF & I had a good talk. He wants to do whatever he can so that we are able to keep Emme. Everybody I've talked to says this can be managed/fixed. So basket muzzle coming so that he can be comfortable around her in the house. Hopefully can expedite the conditioning to that, she already is used to a gentle leader, so that is a good start.

BF did some good leash training outside with her last night! Heeling, sit, down, stay. Great to see!

I kept her outside though away from him in the house. Too scary what she might do at this point even if she is on a 3 ft lead attached to me. She got a little frustrated at me later in the evening while I was on the deck with her on the phone - normal puppy stuff, jumping, mouthing, growling ( play growl ) -- though it can look aggressive. I had control though, she was just acting up like she can when she's frustrated with me. I just take her leash and have her sit, and calm down.

BF saw this though and FREAKED OUT! A lot. Apparently he thought she was attacking me and I wasnt in control. I find it very interesting he freaked out so much - besides he wasnt even near us - he was in the house looking out the sliding door to the deck. He got upset and well the evening went downhill from there.

Not sure how this is going to play out... we may not make it through this. but I am not giving my puppy back.


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## Baillif (Jun 26, 2013)

I am confident just from the responses on here that some of the people giving you responses would be able to fix the issue you were having if they were in your shoes. Unfortunately there are nuances to situations like this that can't be picked up on by descriptions you give us. Things like your home environment and family dynamic, or any triggers of the dogs behavior need to be picked up on by someone who is a professional and working with you in your home. 

This isn't something the forum is gonna be able to fix for you. It is to the point you need a professional.


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

Baillif said:


> I am confident just from the responses on here that some of the people giving you responses would be able to fix the issue you were having if they were in your shoes. Unfortunately there are nuances to situations like this that can't be picked up on by descriptions you give us. Things like your home environment and family dynamic, or any triggers of the dogs behavior need to be picked up on by someone who is a professional and working with you in your home.
> 
> This isn't something the forum is gonna be able to fix for you. It is to the point you need a professional.


Thank you baillif - I have stated several times we ARE working with a professional and interviewing others as well with more positive training methods. I am simply using this forum to get SUPPORT and any other real life experiences people are willing to throw out. As I have stated already, I am not relying on a dog message forum to fix this situation.


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## Baillif (Jun 26, 2013)

Good to hear. Sorry I missed that.

I will give you this piece of advice. Don't go with a trainer that isn't going to use adversives (punishments) too where appropriate. You want a balanced trainer not just one that tries to fix things with treats and reward only training.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Exactly. Positive and negative reinforcement equally. 


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

At the end of the day, it's a dog not a person. Don't anthropomorphise!

It's just as much training your boyfriend as it is the dog. He has to learn to read her (dog) body language 


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## readmeli (Feb 28, 2013)

*Update time! *We were away this weekend, with a pet sitter at the house with Emme Friday night, Saturday night. Pet Sitter is a younger gal - early 20's. But she's done a lot of work with dogs (works for one of the local doggy day care places) and has done a lot with horses and I like her "vibe". I was impressed with her when she came to meet Emme so really had no concerns. I did let her know everything that was going on and she was OK with it all.

She came over last night to discuss how things went, what she saw, and any tips she might be able to give us. It was all very interesting. She is a very calm person, and very thoughtful about everything around her, etc. She thinks Emme is fearful. _(Personally, I think she was probably very uncomfortable as an almost new person was coming to take care of her, somebody she doesnt know or trust... so of course she would be fearful... I dont get fearful from her as a TOTAL... dunno...)_

She said when she came to let her out at noon on Friday, Em was a bit growly in her crate, so she just sat down with her back to her until she settled, and moved closer, and closer until she could sit next to it. Then let her out. She worked on stopping her from going into "crazy" mode (overexcited, afraid?) by giving her other things to do. If she wanted to race up and down the stairs (4 of them) like crazy, she instead asked her to do it until she finally got tired and instead, then walked calmly up them to go outside. 

Anyway, she had no trouble and I think everything she had to say was very helpful in remembering to be CALM and move Emme away from getting too worked up, and how to calm her if she starts to look agitated at BF, etc. I think it was REALLY GOOD for him to listen to her. A lot of what she does I do myself, but find it hard to communicate to him.

When we got home from our trip, he went to let her out of her crate and outside instead of me - a little scary after the events of last week... but it went ok. He did bring treats which helped. She was a little worried as I did find some pee dribble right outside the crate after he put her out, but it was a good step. He also took her on a short walk up the road to get the mail, something he's never done before either.

To combat the fears we have now of the 8:30-9:30 pm timeframe where it seems she's done most of the unprovoked attacks (or nothing we can see so much except it involved the couch but felt unprovoked) -- we are going to crate her 8:30-9:30 (this is in the living room, where we are). Honestly all she ever does during this time is SLEEP anyway - she might move from spot to spot... but she is mostly snoozing. We did this last night and she didn't complain a bit. I took her out at 9:30 to potty, then she went back in for the night happily. We shall see how this goes for awhile.

How's it sound? We have somebody else coming over Tuesday night to take a look at issues with the couch and the BF, etc... to see what we can do there.


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## Buggibub (Jul 1, 2010)

Have you tried the T Touch method? If you YouTube it something should come up. Ultra relaxation for the dog. Maybe the bf can try that. 

At least you know there is hope!


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