# Dumbest thing you taught your dog to do?



## davewis (Jan 7, 2020)

When Ole was little I used to hide his toys under towels and blankets so he could dig around and find them.

A few days ago he figured out that he could dig me out from under my blankets  A couple of swipes with those giant paws has me shivering in the cold.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

I did not teach it, darling step daughter taught Shadow to slap! They used to have slap fights. They thought it was funny. Fast forward 11 years. My now moody, bit loopy senior slaps people that either don't pay attention or do things that annoy her! 
Not any amount of discouraging or correction has been successful at extinguishing this particular bit of idiocy, because the whole premise was that they had slap FIGHTS! Child did not like being chewed on and wouldn't follow instructions, because 14. Somehow this became a thing
I should send her son a drum set!


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Again not me! Drunken ex taught my deaf Great Dane to open the fridge, so she could bring him beer. Seriously. This was destined to fail. First, yes I said first, she discovered crushing the cans was way more fun then serving them. The second thing she discovered was that the fridge contained.... FOOD! The third thing she discovered was that she could translate this skill to the oven, and cupboards, and drawers. 
Any idea how few places in a house a Dane can't reach? She never did figure out how to open the microwave. Weird right?
This is what they mean when they say your exes are exes for a reason.


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## mnm (Jan 9, 2006)

I taught two to crawl, and then they would creep on down stays, but stay in a down the whole time... Cost me lots of points in obedience....


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## brittanyS (Dec 11, 2018)

My husband taught Beau to "kiss" - basically tap his nose on your cheek. Unfortunately, this is a really bad idea because when Beau is excited his taps are more like punches and if he's really wound up, the kiss might involve teeth. He also offers behaviors to get what he wants, so even though I've convinced my husband not to do it anymore Beau still pulls it out occasionally when he wants something.


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

I will never teach another dog to shake the bells tied to door knob when they want to go outside


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## Ringhram (Sep 4, 2021)

Another dog taught Thena to counter surf. Some things cannot be unlearned.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

LOL! Yeah, I taught Babsy to "FIND MY CAR" when I would say, "OK, FIND MY CAR." Only she would be ready so when I said, "OK," she was high-tailing it to my car. I loved to walk her off-lead, and had her trained through her CD and she came to work with me every day for a while without a lead, but I had to be really careful I did not say "OK" at the wrong time. It wasn't the brightest move. But when we worked down town, Cleveland, in my sister's parking lot, it was great to see the horror on folks' faces when I said, "OK" and she would run to the first car and start sniffing the back and move to the next, and the next until she found mine. I miss that girl every day.


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## NadDog24 (May 14, 2020)

Spin and twirl. I thought it’d be fun to teach Nadja how to spin both ways (spin= right twirl=left) and like usual she picked it up fast but what I didn’t think about was how she like to offer up behaviors to get her ball, tug, stick, whatever… My knees suffered the consequences of a 70lb dog crashing into them from behind.


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

My stupid trick is nowhere near as bad as everyone else's but I taught Sutter Cain to bark when I say "Do you love your mamma?"

Which brought about some embarrassment when I said "Do you love.." and he started barking only to go dead silent when I ended with "your daddy?" (my partner)

I think I still have the video of it.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

brittanyS said:


> My husband taught Beau to "kiss" - basically tap his nose on your cheek. Unfortunately, this is a really bad idea because when Beau is excited his taps are more like punches and if he's really wound up, the kiss might involve teeth. He also offers behaviors to get what he wants, so even though I've convinced my husband not to do it anymore Beau still pulls it out occasionally when he wants something.


Our big- boy would "kiss" like that, too. He'd come right up to hubby's cheek. My gal- dog leaps up and bounces off of my sweetheart's belly when she wants to bump his nose with hers. We did NOT teach her that. I think it was her way of mimicking our big-boy's kisses.


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## AKD (Jul 18, 2020)

I did not teach, but Trin takes me exactly to the spot she has pooped and waits for me to pick it up if I have the poop bag in my hand after she has done her business. Its like "pick up my poop" human.
Then she also escorts me to the garbage can where we throw all poop bags.


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## Bearshandler (Aug 29, 2019)

I started to teach Cion to spin. I quickly decided to end that experiment when he was suddenly spinning everywhere.


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## Jaeger2020 (12 mo ago)

brittanyS said:


> My husband taught Beau to "kiss" - basically tap his nose on your cheek. Unfortunately, this is a really bad idea because when Beau is excited his taps are more like punches and if he's really wound up, the kiss might involve teeth. He also offers behaviors to get what he wants, so even though I've convinced my husband not to do it anymore Beau still pulls it out occasionally when he wants something.


I have the same problem! Unfortunately taught by me... Thankfully no broken nose yet. But came close a few times...


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## Squidwardp (Oct 15, 2019)

We, collectively (my then-school age daughters included), taught our, rescue GSD to chase a laser pointer. She was a pretty high prey-drive gal anyway, and she became like a crack addict for that thing. She would locate the pointer sitting on the mantle or some shelf and stare at it until someone got it down.


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Saphire said:


> I will never teach another dog to shake the bells tied to door knob when they want to go outside


I always laugh when people teach their dogs to ring a bell to go outside. Ours would be ringing non-stop day and night


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Bearshandler said:


> I started to teach Cion to spin. I quickly decided to end that experiment when he was suddenly spinning everywhere.


That was my first thought; Rogan can barely turn around in a hallway, I can't have him spinning, he'd take out a few walls


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Squidwardp said:


> We, collectively (my then-school age daughters included), taught our, rescue GSD to chase a laser pointer. She was a pretty high prey-drive gal anyway, and she became like a crack addict for that thing. She would locate the pointer sitting on the mantle or some shelf and stare at it until someone got it down.


Please Google "laser pointer syndrome" or laser pointer dog. They're a very bad idea.








Laser Pointer Syndrome in Dogs, Dog Psychology 101


Why are laser pointers unhealthy? Learn Dog Psychology 101 want to share with you on Laser Pointer Syndrome in Dogs.




dogpsychology101.com


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

WNGD said:


> I always laugh when people teach their dogs to ring a bell to go outside. Ours would be ringing non-stop day and night


Thus the reason the bell went in the garbage and will never reappear in this house.


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## Squidwardp (Oct 15, 2019)

No need to read the laser pointer warning, though I read it anyway. We don't use laser pointers anymore. Hence posting under this "dumbest thing" topic. 

BUT--the dog in question was much-mourned because she had an incomparable temperament, could travel anywhere and behave herself. She had a most reliable chill switch. She could let it go, and would. But every so often, she'd stare at it (or where she thought it was) and want you to play with her. So really, not so much a "crack addict" as a really enthusiastic social drinker, who could sing a few choruses of "roll out the barrels", play some drinking games and quaff a few beers (figuratively--literally would be another really dumb idea), then catch an uber back to the house and chill. 

So the laser pointer warnings say it will sensitize them to lights, and have them chasing them all over, getting all OCD. Well, sorry to break it to the experts, but my current two will chase lights from time to time, and they've never seen a laser pointer, and wouldn't know a laser pointer from a turkey baster. But there's this insidious thing that shines light in the windows, throwing shadows on the ceiling and the like, that they will alert to and "chase." We call it the sun.  They will also key on light reflecting off cell phones, tablets or a watch crystal. Not yet ready to move to a cave, and if I did, they might drive me batty chasing bats.

The real danger I see with a laser pointer is inadvertently shining it in a dog's eyes.


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## Zeppy (Aug 1, 2021)

I taught Zeppelin “bump” - tap the object in my hand with his nose and wait further instructions. When he’s really excited the bump turns into a full face-punch of my hand. Lol


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## NadDog24 (May 14, 2020)

Another thing: high five. When she’s calm it’s not bad, but when she’s excited she goes up on two legs a double smacks me with her paws and rakes her nails down my arm.


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## Honey Maid (Dec 25, 2020)

Squidwardp said:


> We, collectively (my then-school age daughters included), taught our, rescue GSD to chase a laser pointer. She was a pretty high prey-drive gal anyway, and she became like a crack addict for that thing. She would locate the pointer sitting on the mantle or some shelf and stare at it until someone got it down.


Yes! I had a Doberman Female that was a laser pointer addict, and yes, she was just like a crack addict. The laser was stored on the dining room table, I was in the kitchen. She'd run over to the dining room table, look at me, look at the table, look down on the floor and whine, repeat. That's when we nixed the laser for her at all. 

But before we'd realized what a junkie she was, one time we tied/taped, a bell to her tail when we let her play with the 'dot', OMG, we laughed so hard, it was so darned funny, her little tail was going 100 miles a minute. 

The other dumb trick was, I taught my Sheila, Chesapeake, to 'speak'. Taught her with treats/human food, so, whenever she wanted something I was eating, she'd 'speak', all on her own. 

I love this thread, just what I needed this morning!


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## brittanyS (Dec 11, 2018)

I taught Beau to ring a potty bell. The bell now lives in a drawer, but I bring it out occasionally if I know he isn’t feeling well and I’m working upstairs. I take it down again as soon as he’s feeling better to avoid the incessant ringing.


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## peachygeorgia (Oct 5, 2021)

I managed to teach our bully mix, Eden, the "whos your best friend?" trick, whenever I say it she automatically wraps her forelegs around the nearest dog in a perfect hug, mostly our other mix Olive, she tolerates it well.
Still one of the funniest tricks I managed to teach, I love it!

only picture I could manage to find of it😆
had to screenshot from a video, now she's advanced to fully wrapping her arms around them, dont have a picture of it sadly, lol


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

My college kids, home for breakfast one morning many years ago, "taught" the dogs to catch a pancake in mid air. They never stopped begging at the table from that time on. I had hoped it would have died out with them but my hubby thought it was cute to repeat it with my current two. Same result. Now he (kinda) complains that Bo drules when he (DH) eats a pancake.


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

Yes - the bell ringing with our last dog. Never again lol.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Saphire said:


> I will never teach another dog to shake the bells tied to door knob when they want to go outside


I never understood this! Why would anyone teach this? It seems to me to over complicate the whole potty thing, and I can't imagine it not being annoying!


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## Rabidwolfie (Apr 9, 2021)

Sabis mom said:


> I never understood this! Why would anyone teach this? It seems to me to over complicate the whole potty thing, and I can't imagine it not being annoying!


I actually TRIED to teach my boy to ring the bell, at the advice of someone else. Sutter Cain being my first puppy (I've always had adults who were already house broken) it sounded like a good idea. Thankfully, he's always found that trick to be beneath him, even as a baby, and never took to it no matter how hard I tried.

I took him outside practically on the hour in those early days, but in my ignorance I figured "Well, what if he needs to go BEFORE the hourly potty break? He can let me know rather than leave a puddle for me to step in later." With hindsight, I can see how that could get annoying fast, and I'm actually GLAD he never took to the bell ringing.


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

Sabis mom said:


> I never understood this! Why would anyone teach this? It seems to me to over complicate the whole potty thing, and I can't imagine it not being annoying!


It was suggested by breeder when I got my last GSD, it worked too well!!


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## Ringhram (Sep 4, 2021)

WNGD said:


> I always laugh when people teach their dogs to ring a bell to go outside.


Someone bought Thena a set of those bells when she was a baby. I hung them on the closet door in a guest room for possible use later. We never did put out the bells or use them in any way, but Thena now frequents that guest room for the sole purpose of making noise with those bells. Amazing--she didn't even need training...


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## Ringhram (Sep 4, 2021)

Sabis mom said:


> Drunken ex taught my deaf Great Dane to open the fridge, so she could bring him beer.


My husband wanted to teach Thena how to do this so she could bring him cans of Pepsi. I nixed it for just those reasons. I can just imagine Thena (who can open any drawer) gleefully helping herself whenever she feels like it. Come to think of it, i am surprised that she hasn't tried to open the fridge on her own.


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## Moxy (Aug 3, 2012)

We have an English Springer (Bailey) that we taught to chase the birds out of the garden. The problem is that now, we just say the word, "bird," and she about goes through the glass on the door to get to the birds out back. Not the best idea we had. At least the birds aren't eyeballing my seedlings anymore.

The same dog likes to drink water from the toilet in the bathroom, but her bum bumps the door and closes it. So, we taught Zoda, "Let your sister out." Zo trots to the bathroom door, bumps it open with her nose, and proceeds to gnaw on Bailey's head in annoyance. Lol That one never gets old. Thankfully, they get along really well.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I taught Nitro to run between my legs, when we're romping, being silly, having fun and playing. Sometimes he initiates the behaviour. It's not so fun when he's wet, or I'm wearing a long skirt, and he gets stuck and tangled.


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

My friend accidently taught her husky/malamute/gsd mix to pull and and let go of any hair ties around someone's wrist. When he did it to her the first time she just took the hair tie off and gave it to him. Lo and behold, I meet him for the first time and he pulls my hair tie as far as it can and lets it snap on my wrist. I yelped and said HEY WHAT THE HECK but in a more colourful way. The dog couldn't comprehend why I wasn't giving him the hair tie so he kept doing it to my other hair ties. Absolutely bonkers. My friend literally ended up getting a straight perm for her hair so she doesn't have to deal with the hair ties.


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## Zeppy (Aug 1, 2021)

Here’s one that Zeppelin “taught” Athena:
He goes and lets out a solitary bark at the back door. Athena, the beefy security Rottie (a self-imposed job) leaps up snarling and hair raised thinking someone is there. Zeppelin walks calmly away from the door, and promptly lays down with the bone Athena was chewing on while she investigates the door 🤣


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## Honey Maid (Dec 25, 2020)

Zeppy said:


> Here’s one that Zeppelin “taught” Athena:
> He goes and lets out a solitary bark at the back door. Athena, the beefy security Rottie (a self-imposed job) leaps up snarling and hair raised thinking someone is there. Zeppelin walks calmly away from the door, and promptly lays down with the bone Athena was chewing on while she investigates the door 🤣


That jogged a memory. My Grand doggie, did that too, it was hilarious! At the time we had 6 or 7 dogs, I'd given them all knuckle bones. Everyone was laying in the front yard with their bones, happily gnawing on them. Sadie went and hid her bone, after gnawing on it for awhile. Went back to the front yard, laid down, then jumped back up barking, looking towards the front gate, which is in the distance. All the other dogs jumped up, focused on the front gate, barking away. Sadie moved in and stole their bones. 

On that 'porch picture' I posted in another discussion, Sadie is the one on the far right.


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## Axel1 (Oct 28, 2020)

davewis said:


> When Ole was little I used to hide his toys under towels and blankets so he could dig around and find them.
> 
> A few days ago he figured out that he could dig me out from under my blankets  A couple of swipes with those giant paws has me shivering in the cold.


I love it!


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## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

Honey Maid said:


> That jogged a memory. My Grand doggie, did that too, it was hilarious! At the time we had 6 or 7 dogs, I'd given them all knuckle bones. Everyone was laying in the front yard with their bones, happily gnawing on them. Sadie went and hid her bone, after gnawing on it for awhile. Went back to the front yard, laid down, then jumped back up barking, looking towards the front gate, which is in the distance. All the other dogs jumped up, focused on the front gate, barking away. Sadie moved in and stole their bones.
> 
> On that 'porch picture' I posted in another discussion, Sadie is the one on the far right.


I owned an American Eskimo dog that was previously owned by a family friend. He had my dog and a mentally deficient great dane. The puppy was on a long tie-out outside with a nice meaty bone (the puppy was the favorite). My dog would put a cow hoof just out of reach of the tie out. The "dumb" great dane puppy would abandon its superior bone to get the hoof, only to realize that it was out of reach. My dog would swoop in, grab the bone and put it in a safe place. Then trot back to grab the hoof and put it in her stash. The dane puppy would spend hours looking for its bone. That poor thing! Her nickname was The Fox, for pranking and stealing the dane's stuff.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I only realized this today. My daughter phoned, saying she'd be coming over in about 17 minutes. My husband and I started rounding up stray coffee cups, clutter, and I did a quick floor sweep. During the clean up, Nitro would run to the front door, barking. The third time he did it I clicked. Nitro had learnt that a frantic clean up means someone is coming over.


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## davewis (Jan 7, 2020)

Dunkirk said:


> I only realized this today. My daughter phoned, saying she'd be coming over in about 17 minutes. My husband and I started rounding up stray coffee cups, clutter, and I did a quick floor sweep. During the clean up, Nitro would run to the front door, barking. The third time he did it I clicked. Nitro had learnt that a frantic clean up means someone is coming over.


Nitro has taken barking at the doorbell to a whole new level!


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## jarn (Jul 18, 2007)

I may - MAY - have trained Luc to eat the cat puke. Hem. He did a better job of cleaning it up then I did! (Or faster, at any rate)

He transferred this knowledge to Neb before he passed, and now all the dogs race to get there first. Admittedly this was a pretty easy thing to train haha...

Hmm, maybe this wasn't dumb!


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

I taught Jax to pick up her food bowl so I didn't need to crawl into the crate to get it. So when she wanted to eat, she would go get the bowl, flip her head up and throw the bowl at me.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

We didn't want to teach this. It just happened. We were walking our big-boy along a board walk and stopped to watch a young man fishing. Our big-boy had never seen this before and watched carefully. When the young man caught a fish my dog was amazed. The fellow unhooked the fish and tossed him back into the water. Ever since than, any time our big-boy saw someone casting a line, he would bark and bark in anticipation of a catch. My gal-dog picked up that behavior from my big-boy. 
Now that our gal-dog is our only dog, I am trying to teach her to watch quietly. She gets so much joy out of dog-shouting "come on dad! I know you can catch one. I believe in you!"


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

Jax08 said:


> I taught Jax to pick up her food bowl so I didn't need to crawl into the crate to get it. So when she wanted to eat, she would go get the bowl, flip her head up and throw the bowl at me.


I taught Deja this too. She brings her bowl back from outside after her raw meals. But after 7 some years, she has now a worn spot at the back of her lower canines. Undoing this behavior is tough so I have to go out in the rain and be one step ahead of her.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

DH thought it would be fun to teach the dogs to howl years ago -- he'd start it, and then they'd all harmonize. It was funny, sort of, until the landline rang unexpectedly. Now years later, the one dog who is still alive from that era still associates the landline's ringtone with howling. The ringing telephone sets him off. As soon as the phone rings, if I don't pick it up fast enough, the oldest one will start howling, and the other younger ones will join in because the old dog has taught them the behavior. 

It's the gift that keeps on giving as they teach this behavior to each other: once one dog howls, instinct tells others to. I've even heard neighbor dogs joining in. I have probably sent home foster dogs who learned to howl in my house. 🤦‍♀️


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## DogsRPeople2 (Feb 16, 2021)

Not sure if this belongs on this thread as I didn’t teach Kimber this behavior. Maybe it’s a GSD thing? 
Whenever I go to the bathroom many times I close the door behind me so I can “poop” in peace without being joined by my cat or watched by my dogs. I put a child gate in the bathroom doorway as well. Well Kimber has taught herself to push open the bathroom door then just watch me! 🤦‍♀️ She puts her two front arms on the gate and stares at me with a smile on her face! I shut the door and with one swipe of her paw she opens it again and again! I swear I’m entertaining her! 😳🤣😆


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## DogsRPeople2 (Feb 16, 2021)

brittanyS said:


> I taught Beau to ring a potty bell. The bell now lives in a drawer, but I bring it out occasionally if I know he isn’t feeling well and I’m working upstairs. I take it down again as soon as he’s feeling better to avoid the incessant ringing.


You could take it down at night and put it up during the day?


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

DogsRPeople2 said:


> Not sure if this belongs on this thread as I didn’t teach Kimber this behavior. Maybe it’s a GSD thing?
> Whenever I go to the bathroom many times I close the door behind me so I can “poop” in peace without being joined by my cat or watched by my dogs. I put a child gate in the bathroom doorway as well. Well Kimber has taught herself to push open the bathroom door then just watch me! 🤦‍♀️ She puts her two front arms on the gate and stares at me with a smile on her face! I shut the door and with one swipe of her paw she opens it again and again! I swear I’m entertaining her! 😳🤣😆


You don't have a normal door? 😅 It is a GSD thing. Deja makes it better by getting a toy if she can find one


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

car2ner said:


> We didn't want to teach this. It just happened. We were walking our big-boy along a board walk and stopped to watch a young man fishing. Our big-boy had never seen this before and watched carefully. When the young man caught a fish my dog was amazed. The fellow unhooked the fish and tossed him back into the water. Ever since than, any time our big-boy saw someone casting a line, he would bark and bark in anticipation of a catch. My gal-dog picked up that behavior from my big-boy.
> Now that our gal-dog is our only dog, I am trying to teach her to watch quietly. She gets so much joy out of dog-shouting "come on dad! I know you can catch one. I believe in you!"


aha my last female loved to watch the kids fish. When they were little we would put a bid wash basin on the dock filled with water to drop the little rock bass into so the littlest one could watch them swim. My female would dunk her head under water and pick them out. She would stand on the dock absolutely vibrating with excitement when we fished


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

DogsRPeople2 said:


> Not sure if this belongs on this thread as I didn’t teach Kimber this behavior. Maybe it’s a GSD thing?
> Whenever I go to the bathroom many times I close the door behind me so I can “poop” in peace without being joined by my cat or watched by my dogs. I put a child gate in the bathroom doorway as well. Well Kimber has taught herself to push open the bathroom door then just watch me! 🤦‍♀️ She puts her two front arms on the gate and stares at me with a smile on her face! I shut the door and with one swipe of her paw she opens it again and again! I swear I’m entertaining her! 😳🤣😆


Kimber may be thinking your training is coming along nicely.


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## DogsRPeople2 (Feb 16, 2021)

Dunkirk said:


> Kimber may be thinking your training is coming along nicely.


😆😅😂


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## DogsRPeople2 (Feb 16, 2021)

wolfy dog said:


> You don't have s normal door? 😅 It is a GSD thing. Deja makes it better by getting a toy of she can find one


😂😅🤣


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