# Standoffish to Strangers (dogs & people)



## malasmama (Jun 16, 2011)

Hello, wise GSD owners! I'm very hopeful you may have some advice, or even insight regarding my GSD mix.

I have a very sweet, smart & affectionate 7 month old german shepherd/alaskan malamute male pup named Mala. We adopted him at 9 weeks, and have been thrilled with how responsive he's been to training. 

The issue we've been having is the way he handles himself around new people or new dogs.

His behavior around new dogs isn't what I would classify as aggressive - he doesn't seem to have an urge to lunge, bark or attack - but it's very standoffish. He will bare his teeth at the new dog, and his posture seems on edge - tail down, lips pulled back, etc. What's strange for me is that he seems to only behave this way around new dogs. He was socialized early and often with the dogs of many friends and family, and he does great with them - our next door neighbor's dog, Luke, is his best buddy. It doesn't seem to be breed related, as Luke is a lab, but I have seen Mala act "standoffish" around other labs. We have tried taking him to the dog park a handful of times, and it seems like he feels overwhelmed by it all, and seems even more standoffish.

And then there's the new people thing. He adores people he met within the first 5 months we had him. But it seems like he suddenly has a really hard time getting used to new people. When we are out on our walks, if someone tries to pet him, he ducks his head down to avoid their touch. When someone new comes into our home, he will sometimes bark (never very aggressively), and keep his distance from the new person, while making sure to keep them in his sight. We've been giving treats to the new person to give to Mala, and he'll go up to them, always cautiously, take the treat, and then return to watching them from a distance. 

I'm not so concerned about his response to strangers on our walk - I definitely don't get the aggressive vibe from him - but I want to be able to welcome people into my home without Mala being on edge.

I should add that, around those he knows well (me, my husband, our next door neighbors that dogsit, my parents, close friends, etc.), he is one of the most affectionate dogs I've had. He's not allowed on the couch or other furniture, but if someone is sitting on the floor with him, he'll rest his paw or his chin on their leg, and generally tries to be as close to us as he can be. Around dogs he knows, he plays like a typical dog, never aggressively or overly dominant. 

I'm sorry this is so long - if you're still reading, Thank You!! Any and all advice is appreciated.


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## 1sttimeforgsd (Jul 29, 2010)

Hello and Welcome, to you and Mala. I am not that knowledgeable about behavior but I am sure someone else will come along and help you out. My first thought was that he was fearfull of new dogs and people, will be watching for other posters to give some suggestions.


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## scarlet08 (Jun 21, 2011)

*Nervous of strangers*

Hi, i have just rehomed a German Shepherd x husky (she looks like pure GSD) and she is such a lovely girl. She was slightly nervous of us (my husband and i) when we met her but soon was coming when we called her and now (after only 3 days) she is so loyal to us and so affectionate. Overall, so far an amazing dog. The one problem we have is that when she meets another person bar us, she either growls (she has never bitten apparently) which doesnt seem to be aggressive, just a kinda "i dont know you so dont touch me please" thing. if she doesnt growl she just put her head down and moves away. i ask people that come into the house to ignore her and give them treats for her and after a few minutes she is absolutely fine with them...rolling over for them to stroke her etc. i always correct the growling by saying "enough" sternly but i dont know how to teach her that strangers dont need to be feared. is it too late at 2.5 years old? Am i doing the right thing? Thanks:laugh:


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

scarlet08 said:


> Hi, i have just rehomed a German Shepherd x husky (she looks like pure GSD) and she is such a lovely girl. She was slightly nervous of us (my husband and i) when we met her but soon was coming when we called her and now (after only 3 days) she is so loyal to us and so affectionate. Overall, so far an amazing dog. The one problem we have is that when she meets another person bar us, she either growls (she has never bitten apparently) which doesnt seem to be aggressive, just a kinda "i dont know you so dont touch me please" thing. if she doesnt growl she just put her head down and moves away. i ask people that come into the house to ignore her and give them treats for her and after a few minutes she is absolutely fine with them...rolling over for them to stroke her etc. i always correct the growling by saying "enough" sternly but i dont know how to teach her that strangers dont need to be feared. is it too late at 2.5 years old? Am i doing the right thing? Thanks:laugh:


Hey - you'd have more responses if you started your own thread. Welcome to the fourm!


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## Tbarrios333 (May 31, 2009)

It sounds like your dog has entered a fear phase or possibly the butthead phase. Most dogs ranging from 6-9 months forget everything you ever taught them and really begin to test your boundaries. A puppy with a solid recall will all of a sudden become completely deaf, but will definitely regain his hearing before you rush off to the vet. It is a fascinating phenomenon.

Most dogs also go through a few fear phases while growing up. I think the common ages are 7-9 weeks and then again around 8 months. It can happen again after that as well I believe. It is very important to step up your NILIF so that you can reassure your puppy that you have everything under control. Also, make sure that he continues to have positive experiences with strange dogs. 
He doesn't necessarily have to meet every strange dog you see. I'm fact, many people prefer that their pups don't greet strange dogs and only socialize through play dates with known dogs.

A GSD it typically aloof with strangers, but it sounds like he is being a little shy. Again, keep making sure he is having only positive experiences. Be patient and work through this stage. I have heard it described as their "brain falling out" and I think that is pretty accurate.


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## CarrieJ (Feb 22, 2011)

> It sounds like your dog has entered a fear phase or possibly the butthead phase. Most dogs ranging from 6-9 months forget everything you ever taught them and really begin to test your boundaries. A puppy with a solid recall will all of a sudden become completely deaf, but will definitely regain his hearing before you rush off to the vet. It is a fascinating phenomenon.


This is probably one of the top ten for funny but true statements that I've read.

I would say to a point it is breed related but on Mala's side. Both Malamutes and GSDs are aloof with strangers and not known for gregarious personalities.
Definitely stick with the NILF (Nothing In Life Is Free) leadership training and your dog will gain it's confidence through life's experience and from his leaders. (You and your family)

Good luck and have fun....wear your helmet through out the teenagery days to come....


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## Mom2Shaman (Jun 17, 2011)

Keep working on positive experiences with new dogs and new people. 

Dog parks are overwhelming. Try engineering one on one meeting times with new dogs that are friendly. Engineer only good contacts. 

As to people, find positive contacts, urge the dog to meet new people even if you have to hand them a cookie first. I just took my pup out for the first time and he literally hid inside my skirt. Many people were eager to help with postive and gentle talking, scratches, etc. By then end he was soliciting pets. I took the pup to a nearby Christian Camp at a lake and it was great, such positive people wanting to be kind and help him out in a nice low-stress outdoors environment that he liked. We are going back this weekend to continue meeting new people.

Don't coddle or allow the shyness or aggression or you will have a problem later. Keep socializing and always hunt out really positive experiences.


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## malasmama (Jun 16, 2011)

Thanks all. It's a relief to know this isn't uncommon, and I think he's definitely in the "butthead stage." 

As far as the dog park, I guess I just assumed that would be the best way to socialize him with other dogs. He spends quite a bit of time with the dogs next door, and plays with several other pups in the area a little less frequently, but still a fair amount. In small groups, he seems to do well with other dogs. Is it okay to just avoid the dog park altogether? He certainly gets plenty of exercise (at least one daily walk, large backyard, weekend hiking trips), and if there's no compelling reason to take him to the dog park, I would be happy to avoid the mud-pit full of judgemental stares....

I've never heard of NILIF training - is there another thread I can read more about it?


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## codmaster (Aug 5, 2009)

Not only ok, highly recommended to avoid the dog park. Way too many irresponsible owners and aggressive dogs in a lot of them.


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## codmaster (Aug 5, 2009)

Nothing in life is free- every bit of food or priveleges have to be earned by the dog. Highly effective in teaching a dog that you are a good pack leader and the source of everything good for them. Yes, you can find a lot about it here or do a Google search as well.


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## Mom2Shaman (Jun 17, 2011)

I am also a "No" fan on dog parks. In a perfect world, you have well-behaved healthy dogs socializing. But this is no perfect world and you have too many people who are totally fine with their dog being out of control or even violent towards others.

NILIF is a really interesting concept. Once you start thinking along those lines, it makes such good sense. Check it out.


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## Tbarrios333 (May 31, 2009)

This is NILIF at its core; very helpful:
Nothing in Life is Free

Here is a thread that may help. It is for adult dogs, but it still works for puppies: http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/how-do-i-teach-my-dog/159144-training-adult-dog-tips.html
Cassidy's post is particularly helpful.

Another fantastic resource: Behavior FAQ <> DIAMONDS IN THE RUFF <>

The developmental stages:
Developmental Stages
You can see here that they have a fear period at 8-11 weeks where they imprint on things and again at 6-14 months. He may very well be going through a fear/flight instinct phase now; be extra careful.

Good luck! You sound like you are doing a great job with your puppy and I'm sure he will turn out just fine if you keep at it .

ETA: I would also say you can stop going to dog parks. I still take mine to the doggy beach, but that is only because it's the only place dogs are allowed off leash at the beach. However, you always have to be on your guard in case other dogs try to bully yours. If they do, be prepared to defend your dog; your dog has to know you have its back.
Dog parks are filled with misbehaved dogs or older dogs that can actually transmit diseases to yours. It's definitely an "Enter at your own risk" kinda place. 
It is definitely ok to let your pup stop meeting strange dogs if you want. He just has to be taught to walk by them. I personally made the mistake of letting my first dog think she was going to greet every dog that walked by us, now she gets really excited when we see another dog. The new pup doesn't get to meet every dog she sees and will only have play dates with approved dogs. I don't really mind if she doesn't make a bajillion dog friends as long as she's not dog aggressive.


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