# Someone is stalking my DOG!!!



## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

I didn't know where to put this so well here it is. We moved into a beautiful new house a couple months ago, and love it here... all except the creepy kid down the street. Every evening at 8pm the boy sits in his garage in the dark and waits for us to come out and walk our dog, we hardly even ever walk this late but he is always there (driven by a few times in the car and the headlights hit the open garage door and he is sitting there). When we do run into him (there is only one way out of the neighborhood and it is past that house) he runs up to our pup and gets him over the top worked up. We have been trying to avoid stuff like this because our dog already is easily excited by people. I've asked the kid to back off and please wait for him to at least sit but he doesn't listen he just goes in and gets in my dogs face. It throws my usually friendly dog off a bit even some days and really makes me uncomfortable, he is by no means a small child... much taller than me and in high school. The boy also comes into our yard without permission during the day when he sees me bring Gandalf out to pet him. This isn't the worst of it, a couple nights ago we heard his scream come from our yard, when we ran out there we didn't see anyone and assumed it was nothing. The next morning our back yard string lights were shattered on the ground. Tonight our pup was fast asleep after a long walk and my husband and I were working on our laptops when we heard a voice whispering "gandalf... gandalf.... gandalf.." this put my dog on high alert and he ran to the window and is now completely unsettled. The kid was in our yard peaking through our windows to look at our dog. My husband said he thinks the kid has Aspergers, does anyone know how to deal with something like this? His parents are very nice, we have talked to them plenty of times and they seem very normal and down to earth. We are going to bring this up next time we see them, but doubt it will do much they have no control over their kid. It is making it very difficult to train our dog to be neutral around strangers when this creepy kid is always getting him worked up and stalking him. I am beyond weirded out...


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

Oh my goodness. That would weird me out, too. Definitely work out a plan with his parents. Maybe you could entertain the idea of "training dates" with this fellow. If this fellow has a disability a schedule might help. Like, "Thursday night is training night with Gandalf" for 30 minutes. You could have him do some trick work or something simple and very structured. 

Hopefully you can all get together a plan to help this kid know that sneaking around in your yard is a very bad idea.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

car2ner said:


> Oh my goodness. That would weird me out, too. Definitely work out a plan with his parents. Maybe you could entertain the idea of "training dates" with this fellow. If this fellow has a disability a schedule might help. Like, "Thursday night is training night with Gandalf" for 30 minutes. You could have him do some trick work or something simple and very structured.
> 
> Hopefully you can all get together a plan to help this kid know that sneaking around in your yard is a very bad idea.


I'm not even sure the parents acknowledge he has a problem. Seems like a good idea? I've never dealt with this particular disability so i'm hoping something like that won't fuel the fire so to speak? Yes... I am seriously worried for the kids safety as well. Gandalf is friendly and sweet but as he matures someone sneaking around the property could likely get bitten. I think laws don't favor the dogs even when protecting property correct? We are wondering if he is just doing this to us or everyone else in the neighborhood too... there are lots of nice dogs here even another german shep.


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

I don't have any advice to offer, but that would really unsettle ME. Then the dog would just get even more uncomfortable. I would be worried about the child then stalking you or the behavior getting even more weird. What if one day he decided to come inside the house instead of just the yard? If he has some sort of disability, this wouldn't be too far-fetched. I have had this happen to me before. Speak with his parents for sure. Maybe they don't have any clue this kind of thing is going on?


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

Pytheis said:


> I don't have any advice to offer, but that would really unsettle ME. Then the dog would just get even more uncomfortable. I would be worried about the child then stalking you or the behavior getting even more weird. What if one day he decided to come inside the house instead of just the yard? If he has some sort of disability, this wouldn't be too far-fetched. I have had this happen to me before. Speak with his parents for sure.


Yeah it really isn't helping with my dogs problem, I've noticed since this has started his behavior has become hyper aware of his surroundings. The boy has said a couple vulgar things to me last time I was out walking Gandalf and my husband wasn't there, it really is getting too weird. Our house has lots of windows too, way more than a normal house it was custom built for the original owners. We have 6 sliding glass doors that i'm starting to feel paranoid about. On our move in day the boy invited himself in and snooped around our house, my in laws followed him the entire time because they thought he was trying to steal something. After an hour his parents showed up seemingly not surprised at all that he was there.


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## AE316 (Oct 24, 2017)

Since there are other dog owners in the area next time just approach one and talk to them in regards to the kid and if they encountered him.


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

From what I understand of it he's trespassing on your property. Get the police involved. They won't arrest him but they'll have a stern talk with the boy and his parents. Maybe then they'll be forced to acknowledge that it's a problem. Also if the problem persists they can escalate it sooner rather than later. Be proactive here. Don't wait until he walks off with your dog or worse. For that exact reason I wouldn't entertain training sessions with him. Last thing I'd want is your dog being friendly with him. And last thing, even if it's an inconvenience, pick a different place/time to walk your dog.


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## Pytheis (Sep 23, 2016)

This sounds like trouble in the making. I'd start by talking to the parents, then if nothing changes, perhaps contact police and ask what you can do. I would just want it on file that something is going on with him in case my house was broken into or I was harassed further. I would be highly uncomfortable with a high school aged child making crude remarks to me, disabled or not. That just isn't acceptable.


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## AE316 (Oct 24, 2017)

Agree with calling the cops. If this kid comes on your property again inform the cops. That's plain scary and not right. Hopefully with cops involved it resolves him coming on your property.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

thegooseman90 said:


> From what I understand of it he's trespassing on your property. Get the police involved. They won't arrest him but they'll have a stern talk with the boy and his parents. Maybe then they'll be forced to acknowledge that it's a problem. Also if the problem persists they can escalate it sooner rather than later. Be proactive here. Don't wait until he walks off with your dog or worse. For that exact reason I wouldn't entertain training sessions with him. Last thing I'd want is your dog being friendly with him. And last thing, even if it's an inconvenience, pick a different place/time to walk your dog.


Generally all the times he has trespassed hes been quick to run off the property, police wouldn't get here in time. I'm going to see if hubby can throw up some cameras outside though and record it. That is an excellent point about him gaining our dogs trust. We already have inconveniently been walking at a different time just to avoid him, grateful we know his schedule and he seems to stick to it. The rest of the neighborhood seems comfortable with him, everyone leaves their garages and doors open. I'm not sure what his deal is. His parents are beyond nice, stopped by when I was walking Gandalf to ask if he was feeling better since they saw he was sick and everything... it puts me in a very awkward position.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

I have a friend this happened to, except it wasn't his dog the kid was fascinated with it was his 6 yr old daughter. They'd spot him staring at her from various locations around the neighborhood, and he'd come up on their porch late at night as well. They called the police, but we're told without proof they couldn't really do anything but talk to the kid, which they did, and nothing changed!

They bought and installed motion activated cameras and caught him on camera taking things from their front porch...that put an end to it. Definitely install cameras, as the police really can't take any concrete action until you habe proof!

Of course I'd recommend talking to the parents first, as they may not know what their son is doing and would be grateful for the chance to take care of the problem without involving the police. In the case of my friend, the parents told him off....


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

He doesn't have to be there when police show up for them to tell him to stay off your property. If it comes down to it these steps will help you towards a restraining order. Trust me I understand that awkward feeling but sometimes you just gotta do it. Police are there for stuff like this but they can't help you if they don't know you need help. The sooner the better. In other words how awkward would a situation have to be for it to be more important to save face than to keep your family/dog safe?


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

When my neighbor got drunk and drove his car around and around his house, sometimes into my yard, and very near my propane tanks, in the snow, making ruts, then got out of his car and yelled some rather nasty comment to me, I called the sheriff and talked to a deputy. 

I asked them what I could do about this, short of having them come out. He gave me several options, which included having them come out and arrest the guy, sending him a note asking him to pay for the damage to my lawn, and doing nothing. I have a lot of dogs (I explained this to the deputy) and I don't want neighbor problems. 

I chose the do nothing approach. I asked him, if I do nothing, won't that just encourage him to do whatever he wants? The deputy told me no, it might make him think I am not such a bad person after all, because I could have made a big deal about it, and didn't. So I went with that. And, it's been a couple of years I think, with no problems. 

I am not suggesting that you do nothing. I am suggesting calling the police and asking advice. Tell them you think the boy might be autistic, but you do not know. You really do not want them to come out at this point, but want their opinion on what might be the best approach to keep the kid safe and your dog safe, and not have a problem with your neighbors. There is the possibility that they've already had complaints about the kid. If the kid really does have a problem, you might have to put up a fence, and lock it. It isn't normal behavior. Kids who have issues sometimes do things that are not normal. Really, I think we all want to give people the benefit of the doubt, and help not hurt people with disabilities. On the other hand, if your dog goes through the window, he's going to get cut up bad, and the kid can get hurt bad.


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## Kibs (Oct 25, 2017)

Well first of, I would talk to the kid when you walk past him and he runs up to Gandalf. If he truly has Asperger's or Autism or anything of the sort he probably isn't aware of what he's doing wrong. If he doesn't fix his issue then I would go to the parents immediately and as a last resort go to the Police. I do agree with the others though, you should definitely install some cameras and keep a close eye on Gandalf until you know talking to the kid or his parents has actually made a difference. Even the Police can only do so much.


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm actually worried for your dog here. Creepy kids grow up to be creepy adults. He's already smashed your string lights, showing a willingness to vandalize. Then add in whatever nasty thing he said to your wife. There's a temper here. It may not be a harmless disability. What happens when the dog rejects him or has had enough and snaps at him?

Definitely get several cameras. You need the outdoor infrared kind -- I can watch my backyard when it's pitch black and see critters, dogs, or anything else that's in the yard, with the lights all off. The resolution on the new generation of cameras is pretty fantastic. Put it under a dark dome so he can't tell whether it's pointed at him.

Motion-sensor flood lights are good too. Prowling triggers them to light up the area and reveal the perp.


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## melissa282 (Nov 8, 2017)

Yikes, I agree with getting a surveillance system and speaking with the parents. I'd also let the police aware of the situation. I'd be worried about the kid getting bit and the safety of my dog.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

How old is this 'kid'? Or did I miss that? It reminds me of a boy I had in my first grade class. He was a physically abused child and was elated when I brought my dog to class sometimes. He would stalk me and the dog by getting under my desk with the dog, acting like a dog so I would love him just as I did my dog. He finally asked me if he could live with me because his mother "would throw shoes at him". Maybe there is more than just an annoyance going on and you could alert child protective services for advice. In the mean time I would keep your dog with you or inside at all times. Jealousy and desperation can do weird things to people.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I have signs around my yard that say "Dog on premises, enter by appointment only". Having a sign may help remind the boy his presence is not welcome, and give you cover legally if anything goes wrong.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

wolfy dog said:


> How old is this 'kid'? Or did I miss that? It reminds me of a boy I had in my first grade class. He was a physically abused child and was elated when I brought my dog to class sometimes. He would stalk me and the dog by getting under my desk with the dog, acting like a dog so I would love him just as I did my dog. He finally asked me if he could live with me because his mother "would throw shoes at him". Maybe there is more than just an annoyance going on and you could alert child protective services for advice. In the mean time I would keep your dog with you or inside at all times. Jealousy and desperation can do weird things to people.


He's in high school and several feet taller than me. I don't think he's abused I mean I guess anything is possibly but his family seems very loving and even their daughter around the same age is very nice and normal. That is such a sad story ? Poor kid. I tried to not worry when we first moved in, my husband kept brushing it off saying he has aspbergers he is just a silly kid but after all this he is now on the same page as me. My husband had a friend growing up with the illness so he told me they need straight forward answers to understand things so I have told the boy several times exactly what I meant cut and dry such as "you are making me and my dog uncomfortable, do not come into my yard to pet him" and he doesn't listen. Actually after I told him that that was the night he broke the string lights. Good idea about the infrared cameras, we have a deer cam I hope will do the job... on a tight budget here so we have to work with what we've got. Good idea with the sign too if can't hurt, we already have a beware of dog posted by the front door.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

You need to carefully consider your 'Beware of the Dog' sign and your liability under the law for the region you live in.


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## cloudpump (Oct 20, 2015)

Sounds like he has a developmental disorder. I'd talk to his parents and get to know more. Maybe knowing more about him, you could help him. 

Out of curiosity, your puppy is an emotional support dog but easily gets amped up, and has too much drive to recall?


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## thegooseman90 (Feb 24, 2017)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> He's in high school and several feet taller than me


 are you 3 feet tall or is he 8 feet tall?  if you're looking for cameras on a budget, costco/sams club has some decent ones for a pretty good price. We have ours hooked up to a 24" monitor in the kitchen so we can see what's going on all around the house. A friend has a similar set up bit his also alarms to let him know there's movement on the camera. For us that wouldn't work because the dog would have it going crazy.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

Well, this is super creepy. I concur with installing motion lights and outdoor camera. You may want to ask the parents to install a motion light in their garage that he cannot access, as you cannot see him and he has scared you. However, they may take offence to their darling being thought of as a problem child.
They may be allowing this to go on because they need a break from him (who knows what he is like inside w/family), as long as his disability isn't a threat to himself, why do they need to supervise 24/7 right.
Trouble with talking to them is how they may take out of context.
If you say he can be hurt by dog = your dog is dangerous
If you say he is scaring you = you are prejudice to disabilities
If you say he is coming onto your property and is not welcome = you are a difficult neighbour and need to lighten up.


Do they know he is coming onto property?


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

cloudpump said:


> Sounds like he has a developmental disorder. I'd talk to his parents and get to know more. Maybe knowing more about him, you could help him.
> 
> Out of curiosity, your puppy is an emotional support dog but easily gets amped up, and has too much drive to recall?


What are you getting at? He is a puppy, he gets amped up by excited kids. I can't think of a single puppy who doesn't. By excited I mean he sits with his butt on the ground and his tail wags about a mile a minute. I am trying to teach him to be completely NEUTRAL as he was purchased for SD work. He isn't rude, he NEVER jumps and he is overall a great puppy! I post a lot about the issues we have here so I know what I need to work on, I think he is a very normal pup. He has a very high drive but we channel it through training, a ball is a great tool for training. His recall is normally 99% great, he recalls off the butts of deer, off birds, off squirrels and cats, but he screwed up once and blew it on a poodle that had been taunting him. He is a very friendly dog and gets along great with people, kids, and loves his little kitty! Thanks.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

thegooseman90 said:


> are you 3 feet tall or is he 8 feet tall?  if you're looking for cameras on a budget, costco/sams club has some decent ones for a pretty good price. We have ours hooked up to a 24" monitor in the kitchen so we can see what's going on all around the house. A friend has a similar set up bit his also alarms to let him know there's movement on the camera. For us that wouldn't work because the dog would have it going crazy.


LOL I'm terrible with judging heights so I wasn't going to say anything... but i'm 5'5 :grin2:. Thanks will have to look into the ones at costco, my mom has a membership there.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

GatorBytes said:


> Well, this is super creepy. I concur with installing motion lights and outdoor camera. You may want to ask the parents to install a motion light in their garage that he cannot access, as you cannot see him and he has scared you. However, they may take offence to their darling being thought of as a problem child.
> They may be allowing this to go on because they need a break from him (who knows what he is like inside w/family), as long as his disability isn't a threat to himself, why do they need to supervise 24/7 right.
> Trouble with talking to them is how they may take out of context.
> If you say he can be hurt by dog = your dog is dangerous
> ...


Just can't win right? lol. I am certain they have no clue he is coming onto our property. Another reason the cameras are a great idea so we can show them the proof and they hopefully won't take so much offense.


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

I think reaching out to your police dept. for advice as well as talking to the teen's parents are all good ideas. I also think that putting up cameras and is a good idea. I also would keep Gandalf close by especially in the evening. This kid seems fixated on your dog. When you talk to the parents it could help you gain more information about the boy and hopefully the parents will be willing to help limit his access. We all are assuming he is on the autism spectrum but he could have other issues including developmental delays that could be contributing to this situation.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> LOL I'm terrible with judging heights so I wasn't going to say anything... but i'm 5'5 :grin2:. Thanks will have to look into the ones at costco, my mom has a membership there.



I just bought one camera (indoor only I believe), not hooked up yet. Need modem, but it is a Lorex Flir secure. Says has twice the resolution of a 1080p (Nest is 1080p at $200, this was $150), 155degree range. The video shows perfect viewing even with glare (obscuring intruder) coming in through window compared to other.
This is in Canadian, in store. Online Costco, so much more. U.S. Costco likely has more options.


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## cheffjapman (Jun 8, 2017)

My first thought was that this young man has autism. 

Definitely creepy, and I am not trying to downplay the situation. But my first step would be to talk to the parents. Be blunt, and don't sugar coat it.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> *Just can't win right? lol*. I am certain they have no clue he is coming onto our property. Another reason the cameras are a great idea so we can show them the proof and they hopefully won't take so much offense.



Sigh. Case of shoot the messenger (possible).


If they don't know, they should. Does that mean they can stop him? Maybe not. What ever the "disability" is you have to protect yourself and your dog and sadly, him.
That means complete supervision of dog when outside (not camera, not enough). Do not walk Gandalf alone at night. Carry a personal alarm anytime of day, one you pull the pin and goes off.
Make sure when you are exiting or entering your car in dark you have motion light there too. Lock garage and any entry point. 
Kids will climb fences, find out what is legal you can use to prevent.
Too many whack jobs out there.
You hear of kids like this in the news, taking out their classmates.


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

Just a couple points if you truly believe he is on the spectrum, let's not call him creepy. If he does, deal with it one step at a time. Stop by and chat with his parents, create a log of events and times so you have specifics you can share. Explain your concerns about him getting hurt, your dog being confused(don't use the word aggressive). Ask them what they think and what they can do. I think they would appreciate having the information and being able to step in without involving authorities. If he is in his teens, and has Ausbergers or any other condition, believe me they know. Your next step should be guided by their reactions and actions. If they blow you off, or disparage you, then call the police. I agree with the cameras, it's just more information.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

ksotto333 said:


> *Just a couple points if you truly believe he is on the spectrum, let's not call him creepy*. If he does, deal with it one step at a time. Stop by and chat with his parents, create a log of events and times so you have specifics you can share. Explain your concerns about him getting hurt, your dog being confused(don't use the word aggressive). Ask them what they think and what they can do. I think they would appreciate having the information and being able to step in without involving authorities. If he is in his teens, and has Ausbergers or any other condition, believe me they know. Your next step should be guided by their reactions and actions. If they blow you off, or disparage you, then call the police. I agree with the cameras, it's just more information.


IDK if anyone called "him" creepy. The events are creepy. Especially at night. Perhaps we should say unsettling?
Yes, for sure the parents need to know he is on your property. What if he gets hurt by tripping or trying to scale fence, or climbing in a window? It will be your liability. Leave the dog out of it in regards to injury or other. The dog should only be mentioned as a soft way to approach the parents, such as "I know he loves Gandalf, however..." maybe suggest they take his love of dogs and have him go volunteer/read to dogs or walk them at a shelter


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## Muskeg (Jun 15, 2012)

While I certainly have sympathy for the child if he is disabled (we don't really know...), he is a teenager and there are potentially really serious issues that need to be addressed here by the parents. It's one thing if this was a 5 year old, that would be different and I'd be quite willing to work with the child without putting my dogs in danger. But this is a 15-18 year old (I believe) and there's just a lot more at play here. 

Speaking with the police, as Selzer mentioned, is a good first step no matter what. See what can be done, see if there are other reports, and make them aware of the situation. It doesn't mean the police will act at this moment but it will inform you of some options and you can discuss signage, cameras, and stalking issues to get some clarity. 

I'd also certainly speak to the parents.


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, OP; I'd find it pretty unnerving too. You've gotten some very good advice, so I only want to add a few suggestions. First, don't waste time/effort trying to figure out the cause of or diagnosis for his behavior, deal with the situation. He may have a disability of some sort, but he also may not. He also may be 'harmless,' but you don't want to find out that he's not. He's already threatened your sense of security through behavior (e.g., the theft of items from your porch, looking through windows, agitating your dog) that is, at the very least, problematic. Trust your instincts and take steps to protect you and yours. 

I second/third the suggestion that you reach out to the police to obtain their suggestions; it also puts them on notice that there's a problem brewing. Personally, I'd reach out to the police before speaking to the parents. YMMV. After that, if you want to speak to the parents, go ahead. But, I'd also consider documenting the conversation that you have with them, by mail or email, matter-of-factly listing of the incidents and your requests. (I’m a bear for documenting things). From what you've already written, I suspect that they know he's trespassing, though they may be unaware of the extent of it.

There also are things you can do TODAY to make sure that you and yours are safe. First, never leave your dog outside unattended, not even for a moment. Second, make sure that your windows and doors are locked and secure _at all times._ I believe that you mentioned sliding glass doors? If so, you can easily/cheaply make 'locks' for the doors with cut-to-fit rebar. Third, carry a cell phone with you whenever you leave your home. Fourth, the suggested use of video and motion detector lights is a good idea. I’d also give some thought to inexpensive alternative for adding extra lighting to your house and grounds. Wallyworld sells sonar lights for something like $1 each, so you can extend lighted areas, over time, cheaply. (Might want to ask the police about how to better light your house. ). Finally, I don’t know your setup or how problematic this might be, but I’d make it a habit of checking the property something like daily. You’re checking for suspect food items that might harm your dog. If you find something suspect, put it in a ziploc bag and give it to the police or animal control; use plastic glove when handling any suspect stuff. Years ago, a friend lived in a neighborhood where some lowlife was poisoning neighborhood dogs — in their own yards. Fortunately, my friend didn’t lose any of her dogs, but some of her neighbors did; it was awful for the community. 

Take care and stay safe.

Aly


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

GatorBytes said:


> IDK if anyone called "him" creepy. The events are creepy. Especially at night. Perhaps we should say unsettling?
> Yes, for sure the parents need to know he is on your property. What if he gets hurt by tripping or trying to scale fence, or climbing in a window? It will be your liability. Leave the dog out of it in regards to injury or other. The dog should only be mentioned as a soft way to approach the parents, such as "I know he loves Gandalf, however..." maybe suggest they take his love of dogs and have him go volunteer/read to dogs or walk them at a shelter


I'm not even sure he has asbergers, this is just the label my husband and in laws gave him. My husband has a friend that is autistic and really I don't see the similarities between him and this boy. But I know absolutely nothing about autism or what the behavior is like. I found the string light incident honestly very shocking because this boy usually seems very happy... Lol unfortunately he won't have to scale a fence he can easily walk around. Our entire yard is not fenced in, just the front portion. Gandalf knows his yard and never leaves, granted I go outside with him 100% of the time, because of all his digestive issues I like to know whats going on. The family actually owns a dog, its a pit/lab mix I think, very sweet and actually Gandalfs best friend. We really have been avoiding talking to the family about this it just sucks... we have a neighborhood work day on Saturday my husband said he wants to bring it up then but I won't be there since i have work. I don't think its a good idea since the entire neighborhood will be there but maybe that is a good thing. I'd prefer email like Aly said, that way its documented.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

Aly said:


> I'm sorry you're experiencing this, OP; I'd find it pretty unnerving too. You've gotten some very good advice, so I only want to add a few suggestions. First, don't waste time/effort trying to figure out the cause of or diagnosis for his behavior, deal with the situation. He may have a disability of some sort, but he also may not. He also may be 'harmless,' but you don't want to find out that he's not. He's already threatened your sense of security through behavior (e.g., the theft of items from your porch, looking through windows, agitating your dog) that is, at the very least, problematic. Trust your instincts and take steps to protect you and yours.
> 
> I second/third the suggestion that you reach out to the police to obtain their suggestions; it also puts them on notice that there's a problem brewing. Personally, I'd reach out to the police before speaking to the parents. YMMV. After that, if you want to speak to the parents, go ahead. But, I'd also consider documenting the conversation that you have with them, by mail or email, matter-of-factly listing of the incidents and your requests. (I’m a bear for documenting things). From what you've already written, I suspect that they know he's trespassing, though they may be unaware of the extent of it.
> 
> ...


Thank you Aly, I think you about summed it up :smile2:. Great advice. I didn't know about the cut to fit rebar locks, that's genius.


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## Jenny720 (Nov 21, 2014)

I am sorry you are going through this. Not the vision anyone has on moving into a new neighborhood but more like a scary movie.Yeah creepy would be if he was not on the spectrum and he was doing this then I think you would have some real problems. Talk to the parents first in a honest frank way tell them your concerns. I don?t suggest telling them to put lights in their garage. If their son is on the spectrum and he is obsessing about your dog I would think they would want to know. If they are in denial and you don?t like how they handle things and you see the kid your property again then call the police it just might wake up the parents. Just like i tell my kids when they were little you have to be detailed and speak up if something happened when it happened - not days later or weeks. If the kid is not on the spectrum it Sounds like he belongs in jail. Either way you need to get a fence and a good camera/security system.

Anyone watch the good doctor? Its a very good show. It?s about a doctor who is a sevant and has autism. It?s a good idea to read about autism/ aspergers and talk to his parents first best way of dealing with this.


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> Thank you Aly, I think you about summed it up :smile2:. Great advice. I didn't know about the cut to fit rebar locks, that's genius.


I call them 'ghetto locks' because they're not really locks _per se_. >. It's just a length of rebar cut to fit into the trench/channel/space at the bottom where the door slides back and forth. Pop the rebar in the trench/channel/space and, voila!, door won't open. 

Welcome.


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

GatorBytes said:


> IDK if anyone called "him" creepy. The events are creepy. Especially at night. Perhaps we should say unsettling?
> Yes, for sure the parents need to know he is on your property. What if he gets hurt by tripping or trying to scale fence, or climbing in a window? It will be your liability. Leave the dog out of it in regards to injury or other. The dog should only be mentioned as a soft way to approach the parents, such as "I know he loves Gandalf, however..." maybe suggest they take his love of dogs and have him go volunteer/read to dogs or walk them at a shelter


From the initial post."all except the creepy kid down the street. Every evening at 8pm the boy sits in his garage in the dark and waits for us to come out and walk our dog,"


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## Sunsilver (Apr 8, 2014)

Cheffjapman, he has Asperger's syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Aly said:


> I call them 'ghetto locks' because they're not really locks _per se_. >. It's just a length of rebar cut to fit into the trench/channel/space at the bottom where the door slides back and forth. Pop the rebar in the trench/channel/space and, voila!, door won't open.
> 
> Welcome.


You can also use a 1 by 2 piece of wood, Home Depot sells them for less than 2 bucks, and it's easier to cut to length!


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

tim_s_adams said:


> You can also use a 1 by 2 piece of wood, Home Depot sells them for less than 2 bucks, and it's easier to cut to length!


I'm a girl. I never have to cut wood....

>


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## Heartandsoul (Jan 5, 2012)

Just to offer an experience yrs ago concerning possible parent reaction. Had a neighborhood kid who was friends w/my son (about the age of 12/13 yrs old. The kid was always getting into trouble and we were the last house in the neighborhood who allowed him in the yard. Felt bad for the kid. Son seemed to be the only friend.

We caught him red handed trying to jimmy our slider door open. The bar was the only thing that stopped him. I called his mother and told her what we caught him doing. Her response was "I'm sure he was just making sure the doors were locked so no one could get in"

After that convo, we made it clear that he was not allowed in the yard nor my son to hang around him. Parent called back to discuss our decision. We stood firm. Don't know what she said to her son but his actions got ugly after that. Kid went after my son with vengeance. Police had to get involved but they already knew the kid.

Call the police as stated by others. They will log it inand keep on file. Be careful what you do say to parents. . As said, keep your dog out of the conversation. Don't even allude that he could be hurt by your dog. Get an "in training" harness if you don't have one. Use that he is in training and can't be approached. Period end of story.

Even if the teen is challenged in some way, the guardians (parents) of that teen are responsible for his behavior in the community and the expectation of that behavior can't be lowered to the degree of disruption that you are experiencing. I also would not bring this up at a neighborhood event, but watch and listen to the conversations of them ano how they act around the teen if he is there. It will probably give your husband a clue as to the neighborhoods general attitude of him.


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## cheffjapman (Jun 8, 2017)

Sunsilver said:


> Cheffjapman, he has Asperger's syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome


That is what my brain immediately went to. I used to work as a counselor and primarily worked with kids on the spectrum. 

That's why I think it would be best to talk to the parent first. Be blunt and tell them that the behavior is making you uncomfortable. I mean, don't be rude, but don't beat around the bush either. Some parents enable their kids and some try to help their kids cope and overcome. Hopefully, they are the latter type (if he is on the spectrum).


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## cloudpump (Oct 20, 2015)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> What are you getting at? He is a puppy, he gets amped up by excited kids. I can't think of a single puppy who doesn't. By excited I mean he sits with his butt on the ground and his tail wags about a mile a minute. I am trying to teach him to be completely NEUTRAL as he was purchased for SD work. He isn't rude, he NEVER jumps and he is overall a great puppy! I post a lot about the issues we have here so I know what I need to work on, I think he is a very normal pup. He has a very high drive but we channel it through training, a ball is a great tool for training. His recall is normally 99% great, he recalls off the butts of deer, off birds, off squirrels and cats, but he screwed up once and blew it on a poodle that had been taunting him. He is a very friendly dog and gets along great with people, kids, and loves his little kitty! Thanks.


I was just asking a question. No need to get defensive. The few service dog candidates I've seen were different. That's all. Could hardly describe them as you are describing your puppy.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

OP, do you know if they have guns? I would ask about that if you talk to them. Check them out on line. Too many crazy stories out there.


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## Traveler's Mom (Sep 24, 2012)

Aly said:


> I call them 'ghetto locks' because they're not really locks _per se_. >. It's just a length of rebar cut to fit into the trench/channel/space at the bottom where the door slides back and forth. Pop the rebar in the trench/channel/space and, voila!, door won't open.
> 
> Welcome.


We use 1"x1" wood cut to length. Even cut down broom stick handles work. Anything that fits in the channel and won't get bounced out.


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## Kyrielle (Jun 28, 2016)

Who cares if the kid has disabilities or whatever is wrong with him. Who cares about the parents. Call the police. End of story.

He's engaging in criminal behavior by stalking your family, destroying your property, and invading your private property. He clearly has a temper, and I would worry about a break-in at this point. If he has mental issues, then that's his parents' responsibility to handle and it's clear they are not. His mental issues are not YOUR responsibility.

Sure, you could be nicer about it than I'm suggesting, but I have zero tolerance for any invasion/destruction of my property or threats to my/my family's safety.

Just remember what the police are *always* telling you: *see something, say something*.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Dogs are considered an attractive nuisance, and yes, I was a kid that was very attracted to everyone's dogs. But I was too shy to actually go up and ask to pet them or stalk them. Etc. The lady on the corner had a bunch of kids and the oldest was my age and my best friend. But her home was the hub of kid activity. I did go over one day and before knocking on the door, I started to play with her Newfoundland and his bone, like we would with my grandmother's dachshund and his slipper. I still have the scar. I never told.

My older brother is probably on that Asperger's scale, though never tested, and his wife was downright anti-social, and they had 1 boy. Consider that, both parents with social problems raising a singleton. My sisters and I all knew the kid was on the Autism scale, but it wasn't until there was a stupid fight, -- my brother's kid hit a kid with a piece of wire sleeving that smashed his science project, and the other kid beat the heck out of him. A piece of wire sleeving is kind of like a wimpy straw, it is NOT a weapon, and they had to go all the way back to 1st grade to get any disciplinary anything on my nephew, but they expelled him anyway. The other kid was a repeat offender, but knew enough about what not to say. And my brother had to jump through hoops to get him through the rest of the school year -- home schooling for a while, then he had to see a psychologist/psychiatrist, etc. My brother was surprised that they found he did have Asperger's. Really we knew it from the time the kid was maybe 2 or 3. 

Folks are sometimes blind when it comes to their own kid. My brother's kid was about 13 or 14 when this happened. He is very smart, and really a good kid. Eagle Scout. Had 2 years of College behind him when he finished high school and was valedictorian. Full scholarship, and will soon be a chemical Engineer. The kid in the scenario is probably further on the scale or has some other issues. 

The question is how to approach the parents. Because yes, you do want to give them an opportunity to solve a problem before making a police report. You can't really say, "Howdy, we're your new neighbors, and we would like to talk to you about your son. Is he developmentally disabled?" 

I think what you do, is you be very straight-forward with them. "Hi, we are new to the neighborhood, and we are having a bit of a problem, and we would like to discuss it with you before we go any farther." 

Then I would say exactly what is happening. The boy really seems to like your dog, but you would rather him not follow you, amp the dog up, or come to your house and peer into the windows calling the dog's name. 

Now if the parents then tell you he has some problems, that is fine. All the better, you can ask them what you might do differently to improve the situation. Hopefully, they will thank you for bringing this to their attention. Let them know that it is dangerous for your dog and their kid -- if the dog were to go through the window, for instance. The dog is not viscious in anyway, but he might do something if he felt the house was being robbed, etc. He is only a dog. The dog can't determine your son's age nor disability if there is one. 

You can go straight to the police, but I would want to know if my kid was doing this first, and have an opportunity to address the problem before authorities are called.


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## holland (Jan 11, 2009)

I like the idea of talking to the parents and then going to the police-at least you are giving them the opportunity to address the behavior.


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## voodoolamb (Jun 21, 2015)

Aly said:


> I'm a girl. I never have to cut wood....
> 
> >


I'm a girl too. And I own more power tools than my boyfriend.


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## Max&Jagerin (Nov 9, 2017)

Sorry, I am new here but I walked on your shoes with both next door neighbors. I have 2 adults GSD female very sensitive to noises and aromas and male energetic, work-line; bottom line, TRAIN and PROTECT your dog, If it is a German Shepherd you are the winner. Take this experience as opportunity for training, Use a martingale collar with your puppy and keep a treat-snack close when the child approximate to your dog for example. Be patient and remember your dog act how you allow or how your feel. So you need keep calm. The lease is like a umbilical cordon with your dog. Obviously if you can not control yourself (like you are not happy with the problem ...) your dog feel your nervous your discomfort etc. and react like you. You can train your dog with some friends and if your dog is so good like you said and have minimum training, he will handle the situation better that you.
Remember, YOU need keep calm.
Necessary accessories: good fence, good kennel for outdoors, security cameras. We have front yard and backyard and peace of mind for years. Each time animal control or police knock door with-for false complaints, we check cameras, easy way to avoid waste time and ... she said - he said...
Remember, the more important is protect and enjoy your dog, so focus on that. The others is not your problem. Always someone will be a stone on your dog way. He will bark, he will be loud, he will be amazing, athletic, handsome, energetic, A lot the people prefers a potato coach for company.
If your dog on future attack or bark a person will be your fault , you can not lost this wonderful time and opportunity for taught your dog self-control. He only can react and act when you, or the trainer order, command to do.

Please take these words like a friendly advice from someone that love GSDs - I am not judging you, just I read your posts and remember me years ago. I went through similar situation with more of 50 persons (pool parties) and Today, I look to my dogs and they talk (bark) or be quiet ... I am the leader of my pack not the occasional pedestrian. By the way, 7 puppies weaning


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

Max&Jagerin said:


> Sorry, I am new here but I walked on your shoes with both next door neighbors. I have 2 adults GSD female very sensitive to noises and aromas and male energetic, work-line; bottom line, TRAIN and PROTECT your dog, If it is a German Shepherd you are the winner. Take this experience as opportunity for training, Use a martingale collar with your puppy and keep a treat-snack close when the child approximate to your dog for example. Be patient and remember your dog act how you allow or how your feel. So you need keep calm. The lease is like a umbilical cordon with your dog. Obviously if you can not control yourself (like you are not happy with the problem ...) your dog feel your nervous your discomfort etc. and react like you. You can train your dog with some friends and if your dog is so good like you said and have minimum training, he will handle the situation better that you.
> Remember, YOU need keep calm.
> Necessary accessories: good fence, good kennel for outdoors, security cameras. We have front yard and backyard and peace of mind for years. Each time animal control or police knock door with-for false complaints, we check cameras, easy way to avoid waste time and ... she said - he said...
> Remember, the more important is protect and enjoy your dog, so focus on that. The others is not your problem. Always someone will be a stone on your dog way. He will bark, he will be loud, he will be amazing, athletic, handsome, energetic, A lot the people prefers a potato coach for company.
> ...


Yeah thanks but no thanks... the dog isn't the problem here. The kid gets down on his hands and knees and gets in my dogs face and SCREAMS. My dog reacts very well I think, he gets excited and wags his tail instead of biting his face off, I must suck at communicating because everyone on here thinks my dog is a nut when he is not lol. We are training for SD work so I want nothing but calmness from him. The kid knows absolutely no boundaries when it comes to personal space. A leash and treats don't help when the kid is man handling my dog and i'm backing up walking away as briskly as I can and he keeps grabbing at my dog from behind and calling his name. I tell the kid off and he doesn't listen. Really I have let this get too far, I have problems telling people no. Also we use a prong collar. My dog is unsettled because he is peacefully sleeping and the boy who harasses him is whispering his name in the bushes outside in the dark. I don't think you have been in a similar situation.


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

voodoolamb said:


> I'm a girl too. And I own more power tools than my boyfriend.


Most excellent! I too have power tools! But, I still don't cut wood.... >


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## Aly (May 26, 2011)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> On our move in day the boy invited himself in and snooped around our house, my in laws followed him the entire time because they thought he was trying to steal something. After an hour his parents showed up seemingly not surprised at all that he was there.


There're at least two issues here: This kid's problematic behavior (whatever disability he may/may not have) and his parents' seeming awareness and tolerance of the problematic behavior. Whatever Gandalf's issues might be, they're _not _the source of your current difficulties. 

Aly


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## Nigel (Jul 10, 2012)

This sounds like the mo of a former forum member.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Heartandsoul said:


> Just to offer an experience yrs ago concerning possible parent reaction. Had a neighborhood kid who was friends w/my son (about the age of 12/13 yrs old. The kid was always getting into trouble and we were the last house in the neighborhood who allowed him in the yard. Felt bad for the kid. Son seemed to be the only friend.
> 
> We caught him red handed trying to jimmy our slider door open. The bar was the only thing that stopped him. I called his mother and told her what we caught him doing. Her response was "I'm sure he was just making sure the doors were locked so no one could get in"
> 
> ...


The problem with this, is that it is treating all parents/people like some treat a certain breed of dog (that will remain nameless). You had a very negative experience with one set of parents and their kid. That is a sample of 1. Now, we suggest that all people are going to act the way this family did. 

When I was a kid living in Cleveland, our crochety old neighbor gave us a pellet gun and told us to shoot pigeons. Well, we actually got good at it. And the pigeons would die as they landed on the neighbor behind our house's garage. The man came over and talked to our dad, who had no idea that we had this pellet gun. But my dad listened to the fellow, and then told him, that he would take care of the problem. My dad got the gun and gave it back to our neighbor and told him NOT to give it to his kids again. I really do not remember anything unpleasant that happened to us. We were little kids at the time. I was about 6, and my sister 8, and my brothers 9 and 11. 

We did not have neighbors complaining about us much. Not to my folks. But when they did, the problem was solved. And I think a lot of parents nowadays also manage their children well, and would listen to neighbors properly. Think about yourselves. If your neighbor came to you and said that your teenager was peeking through their window calling your dog, would you fly off the handle and tell them they are liars? Or would you say, "Thank you for telling me this. I will take care of this"? 

I think you really need to give people the benefit of the doubt until they give you some reason that they are untrustworthy. And, think of this, a family that is dealing with a kid with special needs, they do not need more hurdles thrown into their path than necessary. Protect your dog and your home, sure. But if you can give them an opportunity to manage this a little better, before going to the authorities, it may be appreciated. 

Not every parent is nuts. Some are a little blind, sure. But that doesn't mean they will react violently or make the situation even worse.


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## Heartandsoul (Jan 5, 2012)

Selzer, I offered that as a possible parental reaction that the op may be up against and took into account the age. With the raising of our own children over the course of the years, Dh and I have also had to just have talks with parents to resolve issues the kids caused (sometimes ours sometimes theirs) the difference is the age and the times. 

Back when I was growing up, parents talked to parents, heck some parents doled out tongue lashings then we would get it again at home. But times have changed and again, age is a big factor even if the teen is challenged in some way.

I am certain that the op can take all offered info into consideration and use what is best suited for them. If my account appeared to be single minded, my apologies.


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## brucebourdon (Jun 2, 2010)

Seltzer, your parents where at a different level than most nowadays.

OP: We once lived in a neighborhood where there was a lot of poor parenting. One day I came home from work and found our horses very agitated and upset. Upon closer examination I found paint splatter on them and their barn. I visited the neighbor on that side of our property, and told the father what I found, he responded that it couldn't have been his kids, as they were out of paintball ammunition. And that was about as far as he was willing to go. So I went straight to the town police and explained this to them. The chief took a ride out to visit my neighbor immediately, spending a long time there. We never had a reoccurrence.

Your neighbors may be nice, but there's much more to being good and responsible parents than just being pleasant. I'd try talking with them first, if they reign him in, then great. If not, I'd pay a visit to the local police.

Maybe the kid is harmless, but it sounds like you have been very understanding and have tried very hard to be good neighbors, his parents owe the same courtesy to you. And if things don't go well, if they go badly, your dog could end up paying the price.

My thoughts, for what they're worth. Best of luck to you.
Bruce.


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## KaiserAus (Dec 16, 2016)

Maybe spend a week documented all incidents.
Then go to the parents and explain how worried your are for the kids safety - I wouldn't mention about how its affecting your dog's training - as most people would just ignore that and feel like you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Put it in such a way that you fear that the kid will get his face ripped off if he keeps screaming at your dog. And your dog might attack him when he is hiding in the bushes etc. Make it all about your care and consideration for the kid.
Also explain to them that if it keeps happening you are going to go to the police about it purely because you are worried for the child.
Give the parents a chance to sort it out - they might know what he is doing, but they might think you are ok with it because you haven't complained. Speak up. 
Also continue to be very firm with the child - keep saying "No, my dog is not for playing with/petting etc" to him and walk away quickly.
If he does have disabilities then perhaps, like suggested earlier, setting up a scheduled dedicated day where he can spend time with your dog will do them both good.
Once you've tried all that then I would go to the police... I would get cameras installed now though so you've got evidence for the police.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

brucebourdon said:


> Seltzer, your parents where at a different level than most nowadays.


I guess they were. They got married at 17 and 19, neither had high school. My dad couldn't read, and was an alcoholic.

Mom came from the worst type of family. Dad's family was not terrible, but there was no help there. 

The first child arrived 2 weeks after my mother's 19th birthday, and I was the fourth child age 5 and under when she was 24. 2 more children would arrive before we moved out of the city when I was 10. 

My dad taught himself to read by reading the Bible, and stopped drinking, and smoking, and worked his way through the NEC to get an Electrician's license before we moved out of the city. 

My oldest brother was the first to graduate high school. Then my folks got their GEDs and started college. I was the first to graduate College, one year with my dad, and the next with my mom, while they were working full time. Eventually, all six kids finished college, some earlier, some later. We have 3 associate's degrees, 6 bachelor's (mark has a Bachelor of General Studies, and a Bachelors of Nursing, and recently finished his Nurse Practioner), a JD, and two MBAs. 

So yeah, I suppose they were at a different level than some these days. They have no business being, but they were. I believe that we see and notice the worst cases, and the vast majority of parents are not terrible people, and deserve the benefit of the doubt.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

IMHO I absolutely agree that giving the parents a chance to work this out is the right thing to do. HOWEVER, calling and reporting these things to the police is the right thing to do also! They can't do anything without proof, and you have none anyway, but reporting it now provides documentation of the incident if things are not resolved by the parents, and the police will not talk to the boy unless you want them to. BUT call them today or tomorrow and get a paper trail started just in case, and as another poster pointed out they may have some excellent suggestions on how best to proceed.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I'd call the police and ask for advice, but I would not make out a report/complaint until I talked to the parents. That is what I would want someone to do if it were my kid.


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## brucebourdon (Jun 2, 2010)

For what it's worth, I would NOT let the kid have anything to do with my dog, I definitely would not set up a schedule for him to interact with the dog.
Best of luck,
Bruce.


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## Evohog (Jul 18, 2017)

brucebourdon said:


> For what it's worth, I would NOT let the kid have anything to do with my dog, I definitely would not set up a schedule for him to interact with the dog.
> Best of luck,
> Bruce.


I agree because the kid may start to feel entitled to your dog and possibly come take the dog for a walk while you're not home. Yes, he may have to break into your house but if he sneaks around and is calling your dog, I don't think that that is too far fetched. Imagine what could happen...

I think it's wise to try and talk to the parents first. If no result, get Law Enforcement involved before something bad happens.

It's sad but I really think investing in some security cameras is in order as well.


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## hoytn (Oct 1, 2017)

If he is mentally disabled you are going to have to get thru to the parents. Athena seems to give a calming effect to mentally disabled kids, she isn't even a service dog sometime dogs give off a aura I had a 2 year old run across the street and hug Athena on the porch I almost had a heart attack because I thought Athena would get into gaurd mode she will normally do that if someone approaches the porch but she sat calm licked the little girl the parents where seconds behind her and where very sorry but they to where shocked at how calm she was with the little one.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

I am so sorry you moved into a beautiful new house and have to deal with this. It is way beyond creepy. First of all you do not know how this is going to play out no matter what you do. The developmentally disabled overgrown adolescent is probably not going to move away from his parents anytime soon. No telling what he will do. The parents work, right? And he sneaks around at night, right? If they crack down on him he might get worse. What are they supposed to do? Put him in a cage? If I were in your shoes I would build a solid impenetrable fence around my place. People should do that anyway in cities, it keeps out crime and increases the property value. Then you can feel safe in your own home. And take your dog away in the car to parks to work his obedience. That way he can work under distraction, which you would need to do anyway to proof him.


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## Joys (Nov 6, 2017)

Omg. Stop being so nice and get the cops involved! That kid may not be stalking your dog, he may be stalking YOU. 
He may be trying to make friends with the dog so that he won’t get attacked if decides to come into your house unannounced. 

I may be paranoid. But seriously...just no.


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## btfloyd (Oct 11, 2017)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> Generally all the times he has trespassed hes been quick to run off the property, police wouldn't get here in time. I'm going to see if hubby can throw up some cameras outside though and record it. That is an excellent point about him gaining our dogs trust. We already have inconveniently been walking at a different time just to avoid him, grateful we know his schedule and he seems to stick to it. The rest of the neighborhood seems comfortable with him, everyone leaves their garages and doors open. I'm not sure what his deal is. His parents are beyond nice, stopped by when I was walking Gandalf to ask if he was feeling better since they saw he was sick and everything... it puts me in a very awkward position.


You have a tricky situation here. On one hand, the kid could be totally harmless and just has a mental disability. On the other hand, he could be psychotic. Either way, for some reason he's fixated on your family and your dog. You mentioned he sticks to a schedule. In most cases, those who fall into the autism spectrum (Asperger's included) flip out if you change their routine/surroundings. My nephew is autistic, and if my sister changes the curtains or rearranges the furniture, he has a nuclear meltdown. Switching up the routine is a quick way to check if you're dealing with someone who fits that profile or whether you're dealing with something else. If he easily adapts to the different schedule, you have a very different situation. 

Keep your doors and vehicles locked, keep your guard up, and never let your dog out alone. Not meaning to scare you, but if he does have an unnatural fixation or desire to do harm, he might leave tainted food around to incapacitate your dog. And keep a notebook with dates, times, and activities. Documentation aids memory and helps uncover patterns. I truly hope things work out for you.


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## btfloyd (Oct 11, 2017)

wolfy dog said:


> OP, do you know if they have guns? I would ask about that if you talk to them. Check them out on line. Too many crazy stories out there.


I'd ask all the other neighbors for their perceptions and experiences with the kid, too.


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## Joys (Nov 6, 2017)

I taught special ed for awhile. Not Autism, but the ones who were Bipolar and had Behavoral disorders. At least half of them crossed boundaries frequently. I can’t count how many knives and weapons I had removed from them. Do not believe because someone is a high school student they aren’t incapable of deviant behavior. Like GSDs, they needed clear boundaries. 

This person has made inappropriate comments to you- when your husband isn’t there- so he knows it’s wrong. He has peeked into windows... at you or the dog? He has trespassed into your yard. He has roamed around your house checking out neat things you have or possibly getting a feel for the floor plan. 

I would put up some cameras, like Arlo, they send notices to your phone when there’s movement. 
I would contact the police. He may have a record. I would tell them what’s up and let them advise. 

The day he climbed your fence and trespassed into your yard s**t got real.


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

Thank you everyone for the suggestions and concerns :smile2:. Quick update on this, we had a good long talk with the family and the boy. We didn't mention the mental illness issues and all that because we didn't want to offend them, they are really nice people and we have to live here so we didn't want to upset them. If the problem returns we will likely call the police but so far things have been better. It took many tries from us and his parents to get the point across that we are training our dog and not to pet or come after him without permission. His parents completely "got it", they trained their own dog so that was helpful. My husband said to me after that that is a good indicator of autism, he didn't "hear" what we were saying so we had to keep explaining in different ways until he seemed to get it. I have no idea still what his problem is and don't really care to know, it's just a label. He still runs up to us but it is easier now to tell him to back off since he has some understanding that our dog needs personal space and he hasn't been coming into our yard or calling our dog at night. My husband also finished the back fence this past weekend so everything is more secure and we have upped the security inside the home too.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

So is the whole place completely fenced now?


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

Nurse Bishop said:


> So is the whole place completely fenced now?


Yes... who wants to know? :thinking:


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## CometDog (Aug 22, 2017)

So, I teach a lot of self defense courses..Refuse To Be A Victim, Situational Awareness, I've been teaching firearms for 6 years, Civilian Response To Active Shooter..etc etc. We give free classes to anyone who has been victimized. 

I think it's great that you have made progress, and please don't take this the wrong way. I start most of my classes with printouts of forum threads, emails to/from family and friends, stories, that I have collected over the years and it is to illustrate how not doing something about things that feel off to you is a very common precursor to being a victim. He is making you worried, throw politeness out the window to some degree and listen to your gut feeling.

I could tell you stories how for example, woman didn't want to insult the guy who had been painting in their house for a week and came back alone 2 days later saying he left his tools in the basement, but who gave her the creeps a little. She ignored her feelings, she let him in and he raped her.

True documented stories about people who feel bad about seeming paranoid, rude, unfeeling, not neighborly..and subsequently becoming victims..nearly all of them women.. honestly make up a full first hour of my Situational Awareness classes. 

You have done your part, you have well notified the parents. Put up security gear and if there is ONE MORE case of him ignoring your wishes or trespassing immediately call the police. His parents need to know that there will be consequences. If it does not help, call the police every time, tell them you feel threatened, so that there is a record created...and carry something to defend yourself. Does not matter if he has a disability or what it is. 

I'm telling you, this reads textbook. Please be safe.


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## Nurse Bishop (Nov 20, 2016)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> Yes... who wants to know? :thinking:


Is the fence unclimbable and and cannot be seen through, like an 8 foot board fence? If the kid can see the dog, he could still distract the dog within your yard. I am concerned about him coming into your yard at night. This has to be stopped and you might not be able to depend on the parents 100%


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## GandalfTheShepherd (May 1, 2017)

Nurse Bishop said:


> Is the fence unclimbable and and cannot be seen through, like an 8 foot board fence? If the kid can see the dog, he could still distract the dog within your yard. I am concerned about him coming into your yard at night. This has to be stopped and you might not be able to depend on the parents 100%


It's just a temporary metal high chicken wire sort of fence in the back since we can't afford to replace the entire thing (the rest is wood and tall all the way around). But now he can't simply walk through the back. I'm not too worried about him messing with Gandalf in the yard since we don't leave him out there by himself ever. Even when he goes out pee I go out with him every time.... we used to live in an apartment on the third floor so it's just habit now. He also sleeps inside at night, not an outdoor dog by any means :smile2:. We have guns, bows, an electric stun cane and I took a self defense class back a few years ago. Not going to let my guard down still by any means.. I am just happy to finally be able to walk my dog without getting harassed. We still drive to walk other places most the time though and I still avoid 8pm when I know he's waiting in the garage. I hope he goes off to college soon or something.


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## InControlK9 (Sep 23, 2013)

sounds creepy.. I didn't read through all of the comments. but hopefully this matter is resolved and you all came up with a solution.. before things get out of control


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## voodoolamb (Jun 21, 2015)

Nurse Bishop said:


> *Is the fence unclimbable and and cannot be seen through, like an 8 foot board fence?* If the kid can see the dog, he could still distract the dog within your yard. I am concerned about him coming into your yard at night. This has to be stopped and you might not be able to depend on the parents 100%


IME fences like these are not allowed in many suburban communities. Dang HOAs...

I was in a neighborhood where fences were at a 4' max height, had to be see through, and NO chain links were allowed. The common dog containment for the area was a split rail fence lined with chicken wire. This is pretty common in my region. A girlfriend of mine lives in an HOA in FL and is not allowed ANY fence at all. 

I've also seen HOAs with restrictions regarding outdoor lighting and unsightly "fixtures" (Mostly referring to solar panels and satellite dishes, but some security cams may fall under that as well). 

Lots of good talk about security in this thread, but unfortunately some are just not do-able where some people live. Just a thought I wanted to throw out there.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I hope the parents of this boy will parent and manage him so you don't have to go through all this trouble. If you can teach a dog consequences, they should be able to do so with their son, even though there are maybe challenges. I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but it seems that nowadays children suffer way more syndromes and are attached more labels, than 50 years ago.


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## SteelesMom (May 7, 2017)

I am so sorry you are going through this! I have not read this entire post, but I have a few suggestions based on what I have read. I teach students with Emotional Impairments and on the Autism Spectrum. You were smart to notice the boy didn't understand things the way you first described, and that you needed to reword what you wanted to communicate. Directive statements, both verbal and written are highly effective. So statements from you such as: "Step away from the dog now" or "stop" and put your arm up for a reference of STOP or "stand over there" (point to a safe distance). Maybe put visuals at your fence with directive statements such as "do not talk to the dog". Clear and concise statements reduce the risk of him not understanding social cues such as your concern about his behavior. Not in ANY way your fault, I just know the power of telling someone exactly what you want, or don't want from them. For me it was a difficult practice to get used to; it can feel uncomfortable or rude. After lots of practice I'm better at it now!
Also, since your experience with his parents was positive I would walk straight to their house if he doesn't adhere to your statements; time to review with him the rules discussed. I understand he has crossed some MAJOR boundaries, and therefore you may need to skip these suggestions and just call the police. I didn't read all of them, but what I read sounded scary. If you are worried about your dogs safety then a call to the police will be safe for you, and possibly lead to him getting some help he needs to be able to behave more socially appropriate in these situations. Wishing you safety, and the very best outcome. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## bkernan (May 17, 2009)

Ok this is terrifying. There is nothing worse than being unsettled and I'm sure downright scared in your own home. I have some experience with this and what I didn't know then and wish I had is to notify the police every single time he trespasses or verbally assaults (says anything off putting) you. Parents can only do so much and this sounds very troubling to me - get police involved immediately. It's fine if you want his parents to be there when the police are there to talk things through - but this isn't okay and is against the law. 

PS. There's a guy at the dog park who's dog tried to bite my husband (I know I know we were on cursed ground - but we only go when pretty much empty for training at night) and I called him out. Since then I will go to the smaller dog park next to the larger one and train Hudson if his dog is there. He stands by the fence and stares at me if my hubs isn't with me and a couple of times he waited for me to walk out and was standing there with his dog. I could have sworn he followed me home one evening. Every single time I've walked right to my precinct and told them. I have a more casual relationship with them (close neighborhood in NYC) but they gave me their precinct direct line and walked me home when freaked out. It's always better safe than sorry and honestly this dude that is creeping me out *looks* normal meaning isn't homeless looking and wears clothes I assume a late thirties professional in NYC would wear to the dog park - but - people are crazy. If you try to reason with crazy you'll drive yourself mad or worse.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. But please get the cops involved. The safety of your family could depend on it.


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## Katanya (Nov 27, 2017)

I can tell you from experience there's not a lot you can do for someone else's child who is autistic, except tell his parents that you are getting uncomfortable. Tell them what he's doing and that he's peeping in your windows. They might end up having to watch him closer. Possibly even suggest a puppy would do him good, then maybe he wouldn't stalk your dog. 

I have a 9 year old moderate/severe autistic son and he is a handful. I have to know where he is and what he's doing every second he's not in school otherwise he would hurt himself or get lost, or break something. He's the reason i have my current shepherd, she has a very important job as his emotional support dog and protector. She knows exactly what needs done. He is also the reason I'm getting a puppy.


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## oregontreehugger (Jul 15, 2012)

My Mother was our County Sheriff's Assistant for 35 years. She suggested, if possible, taking your dog to the Sheriffs Dept and having a Sincere talk w/ the Sheriff & deputies. Let them know what is going on and tell them you are trying to be Pro-Active in case something happens, like a Nip or bite. Then they know at least you were the one Upfront and have brought this to their attention. Hope this helps!


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## astrovan2487 (May 29, 2014)

Wow that is really worrisome. This may be a "kid" mentally and emotionally but physically if he is a large teenager he is physically as capable as a full grown man. That really scares me about him sneaking around your house, peeping in your windows at night, and saying vulgar things to you. Hopefully he is just a little awkward and harmless but he is showing you a lot of predatory behaviors that are huge red flags to me, stalking, harassing, trespassing, sneaking around at dark. 

I would talk to the police and parents, don't let the parents know anything about the police involvement. When you talk to the parents base the conversation around you being worried for their kid's safety, playing around in the dark and getting hurt. If they don't seem concerned about that then I'd bring up your concerns for the dog's safety and your privacy being brazenly violated. If they still don't seem concerned and/or the kid keeps doing the same things after the talk then I'd full force involve the police and file reports. In this situation there's not a whole lot you can do that will keep everyone safe and happy. I would definitely take the preventative measures others have suggested about the cameras, locks, etc. Make a note of everything he's done and approximate times and dates.


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## dogma13 (Mar 8, 2014)

This is a two year old thread.


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## Vara (Aug 11, 2019)

GandalfTheShepherd said:


> I didn't know where to put this so well here it is. We moved into a beautiful new house a couple months ago, and love it here... all except the creepy kid down the street. Every evening at 8pm the boy sits in his garage in the dark and waits for us to come out and walk our dog, we hardly even ever walk this late but he is always there (driven by a few times in the car and the headlights hit the open garage door and he is sitting there). When we do run into him (there is only one way out of the neighborhood and it is past that house) he runs up to our pup and gets him over the top worked up. We have been trying to avoid stuff like this because our dog already is easily excited by people. I've asked the kid to back off and please wait for him to at least sit but he doesn't listen he just goes in and gets in my dogs face. It throws my usually friendly dog off a bit even some days and really makes me uncomfortable, he is by no means a small child... much taller than me and in high school. The boy also comes into our yard without permission during the day when he sees me bring Gandalf out to pet him. This isn't the worst of it, a couple nights ago we heard his scream come from our yard, when we ran out there we didn't see anyone and assumed it was nothing. The next morning our back yard string lights were shattered on the ground. Tonight our pup was fast asleep after a long walk and my husband and I were working on our laptops when we heard a voice whispering "gandalf... gandalf.... gandalf.." this put my dog on high alert and he ran to the window and is now completely unsettled. The kid was in our yard peaking through our windows to look at our dog. My husband said he thinks the kid has Aspergers, does anyone know how to deal with something like this? His parents are very nice, we have talked to them plenty of times and they seem very normal and down to earth. We are going to bring this up next time we see them, but doubt it will do much they have no control over their kid. It is making it very difficult to train our dog to be neutral around strangers when this creepy kid is always getting him worked up and stalking him. I am beyond weirded out...


From having a lot of experience around autistic kids it is safe to say that the boy might be somewhere in the spectrum but again, pure speculation. He obviously gets very happy to see the dogs and can't control it. He rather waits for the dogs than play a video game, I mean, in today's world those are already signs. Best not to be too hard on the kid, and I would not call him creepy. He is just a kid, and if on the spectrum, he is going through a hard as heck time as it is, in today's world, your dogs might be one of the only forms of comfort for him. As for him going around your lawn, perhaps to find comfort of your dogs. I'd try and passively find out via their parents, and then if my assumptions are correct, perhaps read up on how to deal and cope with autistic children, they have a very hard life (better now tho than compared to 20 years ago where you were just designated as hyper-active or bipolar and designated a weirdo).


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

Vara said:


> From having a lot of experience around autistic kids it is safe to say that the boy might be somewhere in the spectrum but again, pure speculation. He obviously gets very happy to see the dogs and can't control it. He rather waits for the dogs than play a video game, I mean, in today's world those are already signs. Best not to be too hard on the kid, and I would not call him creepy. He is just a kid, and if on the spectrum, he is going through a hard as heck time as it is, in today's world, your dogs might be one of the only forms of comfort for him. As for him going around your lawn, perhaps to find comfort of your dogs. I'd try and passively find out via their parents, and then if my assumptions are correct, perhaps read up on how to deal and cope with autistic children, they have a very hard life (better now tho than compared to 20 years ago where you were just designated as hyper-active or bipolar and designated a weirdo).


Well, this thread is from 2017 and the OP hasn't been active since 2018.


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## dojoson41 (Oct 14, 2018)

CALL THE COPS=THIS KID IS NOT SANE, GET YOUR PUP OUT OF THERE and FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE


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