# Disappointed



## DissaMia (Sep 9, 2013)

Hi there. Recently, I went out and got a "GSD" puppy, and didn't get the dog breed of my dreams, instead, I got a mix. It wasn't too noticeable in the beginning, because my vet said that she wasn't too healthy, and she had a bad case of worms, so size wasn't too much of a problem. But now that it's been a bit, there's no way she's anything but a mix. And it breaks my heart. 

I've tried to love her and bond with her the way she is. DOn't get me wrong, she's a wonderful dog. But every time I look at her, all I see is the possibility of a true GSD, and I just can't help the disappointment that wells up inside me. I won't get rid of her, or get another, mainly because I can only financially support one dog at this time, what with vet bills and the like, and I won't get rid of her because I grew up with a family that drilled into my head "What you start, you finish to the end", and clearly I've started something with Dis-A-Mi. 

And now my vet says she won't even be a big dog, which is another reason I wanted a GSD for intimidation purposes. I just... I want to feel something for her, but I can't get over the fact that she's a mix and small. 

Sorry for whining all over the board guys. Thanks for reading if you did!


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## Rainer (Feb 15, 2012)

Something that is always helpful for me to remember is that sometimes we are given what we need, not what we want. She may not be what you "wanted" at this point in time, but over time you may find she was exactly what you needed.

Just tell yourself to love and accept her for who she is, rather than being disappointed in what she's not. It's not her fault she's not a German Shepherd.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Welcome to the board!

In 1992? 3? I was able to get my first dog of my own. I had visited the Erie, PA Humane Society once before and had gotten a puppy that went to my parents. I vowed to go back one day and adopt an older dog/young adult because I had gone into the kennels and they were just so sad. 

I wanted a German Shepherd more than anything else in the world. But I saw a dog that was so pitiful I couldn't leave without him. He was supposed to be a Shepherd mix but at first he looked like some kind of Dingo. I had no idea what I was getting or getting into. 

He grew to about 60# max. He was GSD/Chow. And he was the subject of this thread: http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/loving-memory/100260-kramer-posting-jean.html

I hope that 16 years from now (or longer) your little one will be as big a part of your life as my dog was mine. Good luck and enjoy and thank you for sticking with her!


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

It's not the puppies fault that you are disappointed. You shouldn't blame her and your disappoint should be in 'yourself', for possibly not doing your homework. 

If you really can't 'bond' with her , then think of what would be in the best interest of the puppy, which most likely would be with a family who would appreciate her. 

The puppy doesn't deserve to be with someone who will not cherish and appreciate her for what she is..

Dont mean to sound harsh, but I wouldn't want to live my life with someone who was 'disappointed' that I wasn't what I was supposed to be.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

DissaMia said:


> But every time I look at her, all I see is the possibility of a true GSD, and I just can't help the disappointment that wells up inside me. .... I just... I want to feel something for her, but I can't get over the fact that she's a mix and small.
> 
> Sorry for whining all over the board guys. Thanks for reading if you did!


Rehome her. If you can't love her as she is, she will pick up on your resentment. Do both of you a favor and find her a home where she can reach her full potential.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

You won't rehome her, and yet you are miserable because she is not what you want.

Life is too short for this kind of thing.
Find her a good home, do your research, get yourself the GSD of your dreams, and don't live the next 12 years unhappy with what your dog is not.


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## KatsMuse (Jun 5, 2012)

Hi!
Have to agree with Jakoda, Jax and Sunflowers.
Let her go to someone who WILL love her...just for what she is.

You don't sound as if you'll ever be happy with her. She will feed off of your feelings too.

JMHO, Kat


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

One more thing: words cannot describe the rush of pure joy I get every time I even look at my Hans.

I can't imagine putting so much work into a dog and missing out on that.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

If you can't love her for what she is (through no fault of her own) find her a home that will.


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## erfunhouse (Jun 8, 2013)

Why did you want a GSD? Just for intimidation? Did you have some sport in mind? I can't help but wonder if this GSD "of your dreams" is just that- of your dreams. Will it also disappoint when it chews your shoes, pees/poos on the rug, barks at everything---in general acts like a puppy instead of Rin-Tin-Tin?? I always keep Scarletts words in mind when I have things that are "dreams", things that I really really want--When Scarlett was referencing Ashley, the man of her dreams, she chased him all over the place only to realize later that "I loved something I made up... I made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it. And when Ashley came riding along, so handsome, so different, I put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And I wouldn't see what he really was. I kept on loving the pretty clothes-and not him at all."

Perhaps you DO really want to deal with the puppy-ness, the high energy, the dog that may have a difficult genetic background loaded with problems (after all, all breeds can have this)...or the dog with genetic problems that makes everyone look at you like you are a bad person....who knows! Please know I"m not discouraging you or talking down to you. Read this as informative...some thinking information

I went from having my Metro (who we adopted at 3 ish maybe even 4-ish) who was a DREAM DOG! Recall was perfect, loved my kids, played nicely with my cats and even let my ferrets roam all over him with mere grumbles and getting up and moving when he wasn't content. He learned cute tricks like "BANG!" within seconds and retained that info! After he passed, we wanted another GSD...another Metro. I didn't want an empty house! I wanted a fuzzy buddy who would be there when I got home. Someone to sit with me at the end of a long day. Someone to hug when I lost a patient after a grueling code...someone who would catch my tears, afterall, that's what my Metro did. He caught my tears, made me laugh, was a quiet source of strength. He was my son's pillow, my daughters dress up doll, my husbands grumbling old man...a source of JOY! What did we get? A puppy. HA! What is Sabo? A bucket of "OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO NOW???"...and though his early antics made me laugh because it's easier than crying, he has shaped my life to his needs. Dog must be exercised...OK! Lets go hiking, lets pay for agility trainers, lets build a frigging agility set in the backyard! Dog must eat, but he's picky...OK! Lets spend literally a few HUNDRED on finding what he will eat because I dont want him to get sick! HOLY CRAP! Dog may bloat! Lets sit up at night staring at him to make sure he's ok because he went psycho pup after dinner! OMG! Dog likes the hose, awesome! SHOOT! That can cause bloat too? Lets sit up another night and make sure he's ok! 

I love my Sabo. Being with him my world is ok. I am in a bubble with him, and nothing can go wrong! I find that I actually do like to hike! I love to take him to the beach and run with him in the yard. I love that he makes me get up and go...things I never had to do with my Metro. My Metro was content going to work with me, and playing on my smoke breaks (while grumbling at the smoke, sheesh, even the dog was on me about it!). Metro LOVED being with my troops, never influenced me to go outside my comfort zone---but my Sabo sure does! He makes me want to get out there and drive to take him places (I hate driving). He makes me WANT to get off my lazy butt and play tug. I dont mind, infact I like, spending money on him!

I haven't bought new clothes, accessories or fun stuff for me in a while (note, my kids are also well taken care of, I'm the only neglected human!)....and you know? I have this joy with him, because I let got of my "dream"...Metro was a once in a life time dog...and I have learned that I MUST let Sabo become his own "once in a lifetime" dog. I have to let Sabo be his own dog. 

Your dog may not be the "German Shepherd of your dreams" but you know? She just may help you create new dreams. Let go of the beautiful suit, and let her show you just how great she can be!


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## Capone22 (Sep 16, 2012)

Sunflowers said:


> You won't rehome her, and yet you are miserable because she is not what you want.
> 
> Life is too short for this kind of thing.
> Find her a good home, do your research, get yourself the GSD of your dreams, and don't live the next 12 years unhappy with what your dog is not.


This. Do it for her. And find the dog you want. Start researching how to find a good breeder and save up money. Expect to pay $1-3,000 on a well bred GSD. 


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## LoveEcho (Mar 4, 2011)

Gotta agree with the others. If your only reason for wanting a GSD is for appearances, this is not the breed for you. If you can't love your girl because she's "small" (I'm curious if you're expecting a 120 lb monster dog for intimidation), then this is not the breed for you. I totally, totally get being disappointed and not being able to help how you feel, but I think for YOUR happiness you need to really evaluate your feelings and what you want/need as an owner. It's not the dog's fault you didn't do your research and she doesn't look how you want, and it will be a very unhappy life for both of you if you can't get past that. Think about what you REALLY want in a dog (appearances don't cut it, this is not an easy breed to own), what you REALLY want to handle in a dog, and really think about the qualities that your pup DOES posses. As Jean said, this could be quite a learning experience and a grand adventure for you, if you're willing. If not, best for both you and the pup to rehome and do some more research on a suitable companion. If you think you would be willing to deal with the immense amount of time and energy and training that this breed needs to thrive, and that it needs to become a stable, solid family protector, then this is a great place to learn about what makes a responsible breeder, etc.


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## lalachka (Aug 13, 2013)

can i be the devil's advocate and say that if it really didn't matter and we can love any dog regardless of the breed then why doesn't everyone have lap dogs, for example?

i can understand wanting a gsd, for whatever reason, thinking you're getting one and then watching it grow up to be not something you expected. look at all the threads about the ears not standing up.

just offering a different perspective. i'm not saying that she should throw the dog away, i'm just saying that i do understand her feelings.


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## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

Could you please post her picture for us to see? Becasue it may end up that she's really a GSD and not even a mix, and your disappointment is rooted in something else altogether...


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## MiaMoo (Apr 6, 2013)

Rehome her. She doesn't deserve to be in a home where you are disappointed in her because *you* didn't do your research. 

Don't keep her just because you were raised to "finish what you started". That's a horrible way to view a living thing, as just some project you've started. It's a living animal that deserves all the love it can get, and you obviously aren't going to give that to her.


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## MiaMoo (Apr 6, 2013)

lalachka said:


> i can understand wanting a gsd, for whatever reason, thinking you're getting one and then watching it grow up to be not something you expected. look at all the threads about the ears not standing up.
> 
> just offering a different perspective. i'm not saying that she should throw the dog away, i'm just saying that i do understand her feelings.


If someone is so dead set on getting a 'perfect' GSD, they should go to a reputable breeder - Obviously something the OP didn't do. When you choose to bargain hunt, or even adopt, rescue, etc, there's always the chance of not getting what you expected - If that happens, it is your fault, not the dog's.

There's a difference between someone wanting their purebred pup's ears to stand up and someone crossing their fingers for a pure BYB pup.


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## lalachka (Aug 13, 2013)

MiaMoo said:


> If someone is so dead set on getting a 'perfect' GSD, they should go to a reputable breeder - Obviously something the OP didn't do. When you choose to bargain hunt, or even adopt, rescue, etc, there's always the chance of not getting what you expected - If that happens, it is your fault, not the dog's.
> 
> There's a difference between someone wanting their purebred pup's ears to stand up and someone crossing their fingers for a pure BYB pup.


Yeah, I agree. But i still understand her feelings, whether it was her mistake or not. Lots of people get their first dog like this (BYB, puppy mill, pet store). Most of the time they don't know what's behind it and don't realize the chance they're taking with both it being pure and the health and temperament problems. 

But again, even if she's wrong, I understand her feelings. 





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## Bear L (Feb 9, 2012)

I'd like to see a picture too. 

I was disappointed in my puppy, didn't do enough homework, made a lot of newbie mistakes, couldn't bond and was just tired watching after her amidst some stuff going on at home. It's tough when you're in that state of mind. Even though my dog without paper is likely purebred, I do long for one that is better representative of the breed in terms of temperament... one day. For now though, after toughing it out under the same mentality you were taught through the first couple months (though it's self drilled rather than family), she is now my obsession and I don't have many. 

Oh, she is also smaller than I expected. Like you, I wanted GSD as a deterrent and thought size is important. But what she lacks in size, she makes up in coat markings (a sable) and barking noise and great hiking endurance. Some people worried about her because she looks like a coyote (scared myself a few times when we were out in the woods and she popped up in the bushes staring at me silently). She is quite imperfect as a GSD but she is 100% mine!


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## MiaMoo (Apr 6, 2013)

lalachka said:


> Yeah, I agree. But i still understand her feelings, whether it was her mistake or not. Lots of people get their first dog like this (BYB, puppy mill, pet store). Most of the time they don't know what's behind it and don't realize the chance they're taking with both it being pure and the health and temperament problems.
> 
> But again, even if she's wrong, I understand her feelings.
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


The only disappointment the OP should be feeling is in themselves for not doing the research on the dog they were getting, not disappointment in the dog. The dog can't change the fact that it isn't pure, it doesn't care, it's just a happy dog that wants and deserves to be loved.

To have such high expectations for a dog that you did no research on, and not being willing to accept anything less than perfect is just sad.

I was a little sad when I realized Mia was going to be smaller than an average GSD, and when I thought one of her ears was never going to stand - I was never disappointed in her. I knew from the beginning she was a pound pup, and most likely not pure, so I didn't expect her to be perfect. I love her and wouldn't trade her for anything.

It's going to be a long, miserable 10ish years for the OP and the poor puppy if they keep it.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

lalachka said:


> can i be the devil's advocate and say that if it really didn't matter and we can love any dog regardless of the breed then why doesn't everyone have lap dogs, for example?
> 
> i can understand wanting a gsd, for whatever reason, thinking you're getting one and then watching it grow up to be not something you expected. look at all the threads about the ears not standing up.
> 
> just offering a different perspective. i'm not saying that she should throw the dog away, i'm just saying that i do understand her feelings.


I think the problem is that if you are raising a puppy, and you cannot connect with it, then you realize it isn't what you ordered, what happens with the next dog? 

It will be a GSD. But what if the ears don't stand? Will the disappointment stand in the way of bonding again? 

Dogs may be the species with the most variations, in size, color, temperament, and just about everything else. And GSDs, seem to be very variable as well. 

Someone who wants a saddle back black and tan dog that looks like Rin Tin Tin, might be very disappointed with a bi-color dog whose ears did not stand -- been there, done that. 

But to not bond with that dog, I don't know. Bonding is beyond the way a dog looks.


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## lalachka (Aug 13, 2013)

I actually agree, bonding is not about looks. So this is def a sad situation all around however I can always respect someone being honest with themselves and even more the guts it takes to say something like this knowing the responses it will draw. 

I always felt that being honest about your feelings (at least with yourself) is the first step to making a change. If you don't realize there's a problem then there's nothing to fix. 

She's realizing. She just might be going thru a stage and just needs to be able to talk this thru. I felt she was being treated a little harsh so i stuck up for her. 


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

lalachka said:


> I actually agree, bonding is not about looks. So this is def a sad situation all around however I can always respect someone being honest with themselves and even more the guts it takes to say something like this knowing the responses it will draw.
> 
> I always felt that being honest about your feelings (at least with yourself) is the first step to making a change. If you don't realize there's a problem then there's nothing to fix.
> 
> ...


Ditto. I feel for the dog, but I also feel for the owner. 


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## Oisin's Aoire (Jun 17, 2013)

A few important questions...are you disappointed she is not a GSD , or are you genuinely disappointed IN the dog period? When you talk about seeing things through to the end , I think that lessons applies more to violin lessons. This is not about you , or your determination to not "quit" ..it is about "will you love and genuinely care for this dog even is he/she is not the dog of your dreams?" 

If you will love the dog and genuinely give the dog all of its needs , all the love it deserves despite size , appearance , breed..then I would say sorry you are disappointed , I would be too , but good luck with what will probably turn out to be a great dog regardless. Purebred GSDS do not have the market cornered on being great protectors or being intimidating. 

If you are objectifying the dog , and will continue to be disappointed in your "purchase" every time you look at him , they way you would hate a couch that was the wrong color but were stuck with for financial reasons , then please rehome him.

Not being snarky , but there is a difference between being initially being disappointed in a dog you chose..but if you love and value animals , you will love and value this one and you can get that GSD some day. But if animals are more possessions to you , then you will will never be happy and should rehome him/her. 

There is nothing wrong with admitting disappointment in life ..what would be wrong is treating the dog differently than you would a purebred GSD. So that is the question you need to ask yourself before deciding how to handle it.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

lalachka said:


> I actually agree, bonding is not about looks. So this is def a sad situation all around however I can always respect someone being honest with themselves and even more the guts it takes to say something like this knowing the responses it will draw.
> 
> I always felt that being honest about your feelings (at least with yourself) is the first step to making a change. If you don't realize there's a problem then there's nothing to fix.
> 
> ...


Only it was the OPs first post. We don't know what the OP expects to get here. The very first post opened her up to some serious criticism, which kind of suggests she did not hang around and lurk at all. 

And I don't think people should have to do that. But he/she may be expecting us, as a GSD site, to tell her to dump the mutt at the pound and get a real dog. Afterall, the PETA people equate us (purebred dog people) with the KKK or Nazi Germany. 

So the OP comes to a GSD site, and says, gee I meant to get a GSD, but I found out that my dog isn't, I am so bummed, I just can't bond with him. 

So we really don't know what she expects, and whether expressing her feelings is noble. 

Is she looking to be encouraged to give the pup up, or is she looking for what she might do to bond with the puppy?

I would recommend Jean's Leetle Friend's thread. Those pups are mixes, but they are beautiful and fun. There is no reason to be disappointed in the dog, maybe in where you got the dog. But there is no reason you cannot have an excellent companion with what you have. And no reason the real thing will bond any better.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Ha! selzer, I was just coming back on to make sure that I clarified I was not disappointed in Kramer, just got him despite the fact that he wasn't purebred, could never be purebred, but what a wonderful friend he was. And I never said "if only" because he had qualities that made him an individual, that I enjoyed, due to his mix. Like when he'd square his shoulders to fight the guys trimming the neighbor's trees.  

Let me introduce you to my leetle friends... (







1 2 3 4 5 ... Last Page) Yes, right, they were supposed to be GSDs. Instead, Rocco is a Tasmanian Devil Muppet and Rosa is a Princess Muppet. And at almost 4.5 they are amazing dogs to spend time with.


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

I'm just going to offer this tidbit: When I was 21 I got a pup from the humane society. Barely 7 weeks old, a little fluffball. I wanted a BIG dog. (I don't know why, but I did). When I took him to the vet, they told me he would never grow to be over 40lbs. Well, that dog stood 29" at the withers and weighed about 118lbs.  Don't be so quick to worry, if size is all that is really bothering you. 

If after a month, you still feel the same, maybe rehoming is the best. But I would be terribly careful about who you pick.


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## VTGirlT (May 23, 2013)

I felt a sort of connection when i first met my dog when she was 4.5 months. I thought.. Well she needs me and she is a GSD and she seems really sweet to her person. Hmmm...
Took her home.. AHHHH! The dog i thought would be my easy little companion that i would train obedience and agility too and would be my dog i could take everywhere. Ended up being a dog with.... Unknown problem being skinny with diarrhea (Getting more bloodwork..) She cant do agility really, because of her hips. I cant take her everywhere, because she is fear aggressive towards people and also because she cant handle long car rides.. She use to vomit on a 5 minute car ride (She has approved A LOT since than she can take 30-40 min car rides with no salivation yay!) Shes got the attitude of a little "punk." (dogs aren't punks, but its how i deal with it) And i thought to myself after realizing one more "disappointment" after the next, *that really i need to love her for who she is. *
She is a wonderful, sweet, smart, loyal, funny, cute dog. Who needed me and i also needed her. At first I didn't fall in love literally with her. I felt a connection.. maybe for the wrong reasons.. But *i sure love her a whole heap now!* I cant stop thinking about her, i just am very fond and adore her for who she is.
Obviously we have things to work on, and she stresses my life out to the max, she isn't what i originally wanted. But *i cant imagine life without her.*
*What are you going to miss out on your dog because you focus on what your dog isn't? 
*
*Spend time with your kiddo! Get to know the little quirks and the cute or "brat" part of your dog. *
*If this dog were in the body of a GSD, would you want it than? If its about looks than you really need to not get a dog. Sorry.. If its for looks, please just get a poster of a GSD. *


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

what matters is up to each individual to decide.



lalachka said:


> can i be the devil's advocate and say that if it really didn't matter and we can love any dog regardless of the breed then why doesn't everyone have lap dogs, for example?
> 
> i can understand wanting a gsd, for whatever reason, thinking you're getting one and then watching it grow up to be not something you expected. look at all the threads about the ears not standing up.
> 
> just offering a different perspective. i'm not saying that she should throw the dog away, i'm just saying that i do understand her feelings.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

keep the dog for now. later on if you're not feeling it
for the dog rehome her.


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## buckeye1 (Jun 17, 2013)

Rainer said:


> Something that is always helpful for me to remember is that sometimes we are given what we need, not what we want. She may not be what you "wanted" at this point in time, but over time you may find she was exactly what you needed.
> 
> Just tell yourself to love and accept her for who she is, rather than being disappointed in what she's not. It's not her fault she's not a German Shepherd.


That is very well said and so true. I will have to remember that, that goes with anything in life not just dogs. 


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

doggiedad said:


> keep the dog for now. later on if you're not feeling it
> for the dog rehome her.


How much later, though? Time ticks away quickly for most dogs looking for a second chance at love 


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

I did not feel a strong connection to my female GSD until she hit around 6 months. She drove me nuts. I finally sat down one day and decided I needed to bond with her and I have never looked back. She is my baby. Your dog didn't do anything wrong and deserves to be loved.


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## DissaMia (Sep 9, 2013)

Dis-A-Mi came from a woman who had her 'papers', a 'breeders' contract and a sick, sick dog that she couldn't take care of. The woman said that the breeder stopped responding when she had asked him to help with her vet bills, via her contract. And when he wouldn't respond, she reached out to someone who could help. And that was me. I was saving my money for a GSD that would be close to 2000, because I wanted a working line dog to go hiking, swimming and enter some local agility competitions. 

However, when I saw DisDis, I fell in love. We beat parvo together, and I love this dog, don't get me wrong. I loved the fact that I came home and she was sitting pretty, staring up at me with these big, hopeful eyes, pleading that I wouldn't notice the huge hole in the apartment's plaster(which I'm renting. So. **** xD.) and the big, big torn frays on the white carpet. DisDis had escaped the kitchen, the little bugger, but seeing those things didn't make me angry or frustrated. I loved them. I love coming home and laughing when she gets the zoomies, and no matter what I do, she always, always has to end them in my lap--even when I'm in the restroom. 

But if sometimes I look at her, and I just get sad--how is that a good home for her? How am I a good owner when I can't look at my own dog and not see an image of a GSD beside her?


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

DissaMia said:


> Dis-A-Mi came from a woman who had her 'papers', a 'breeders' contract and a sick, sick dog that she couldn't take care of. The woman said that the breeder stopped responding when she had asked him to help with her vet bills, via her contract. And when he wouldn't respond, she reached out to someone who could help. And that was me. I was saving my money for a GSD that would be close to 2000, because I wanted a working line dog to go hiking, swimming and enter some local agility competitions.
> 
> However, when I saw DisDis, I fell in love. We beat parvo together, and I love this dog, don't get me wrong. I loved the fact that I came home and she was sitting pretty, staring up at me with these big, hopeful eyes, pleading that I wouldn't notice the huge hole in the apartment's plaster(which I'm renting. So. **** xD.) and the big, big torn frays on the white carpet. DisDis had escaped the kitchen, the little bugger, but seeing those things didn't make me angry or frustrated. I loved them. I love coming home and laughing when she gets the zoomies, and no matter what I do, she always, always has to end them in my lap--even when I'm in the restroom.
> 
> But if sometimes I look at her, and I just get sad--how is that a good home for her? How am I a good owner when I can't look at my own dog and not see an image of a GSD beside her?


They shouldn't make you angry or frustrated, because the damages are your fault. 
She is a dog. 
She wasn't "pleading you wouldn't notice." She chewed because she was bored and you had not contained her. She has absolutely no notion of having done anything wrong.

As for the rest, I am trying not to be confused. 

If you love her as much as you say you do, then you need to get over the image you see beside her.


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## vwitt (May 22, 2013)

German shepherds don't have the market cornered on hiking, swimming, and agility. 

I'm trying to relate here but I'm having a hard time. If it was a thing like a car this kind of disappointment is understandable. But it's a living thing that looks to you for love and acceptance in spite of its flaws and quirks, and every dog has them. Even your idealized perfect GSD would not be perfect. And it sounds like you didn't just get her yesterday. My current rescue turned out to not be a gsd and he is on the smaller side (60 lbs). He is an awesome dog and I could care less at this point that he's not a full blooded gsd, as much as I love the breed.

I hope you find a way to make peace with this or do what's best for the dog.


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## Gretchen (Jan 20, 2011)

Jax08 said:


> Rehome her. If you can't love her as she is, she will pick up on your resentment. Do both of you a favor and find her a home where she can reach her full potential.


I agree with Jax08.

She just might be the perfect dog for someone else. My adult daughter really wanted a GSD too. She lives in a small apartment and knew deep down inside she could not have one. She went to the shelter and found a "GSD mix" which turned out to be a husky/herder mix, grew to be 50lbs which is perfect for her environment


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## RugerRoni (Aug 2, 2013)

DissaMia said:


> But if sometimes I look at her, and I just get sad--how is that a good home for her? How am I a good owner when I can't look at my own dog and not see an image of a GSD beside her?


How long have you had her for? It sounds like you really do love her (you may just not know it yet). We got our pup from a rescue and I have no idea if he's purebred or not. Initially the idea of him not being purebred got to me, but the little bugger has ingratiated himself to us so much with his personality and antics that someone would have to pry him from my cold dead hands to take him from our family.

There isn't anything wrong with your pup, the problem is with you. You're just going to have to get over the fact that your pup is a mix. It's not like you were planning on showing her, right? Personally, I think re-homing her over something so trivial is a coward's way out. 60% of dog owners give up on their dogs and surrender to shelters/rehome/etc. Don't give up on your dog.


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

Hey there! Here is my story for what it's worth. I adopted my purebred GSD from the SPCA, when she was two years old. I lost her last year at the age of 14. She was everything a shepherd should be. I loved that she followed me everywhere, was obedient and well behaved. After her loss, I would have been perfectly happy adopting another adult shepherd. My son had his heart set on a hound mix.

I adopted a beagle/JRT/Brittany (best guess) mix from an out of state shelter. He was 4-6 months old and I had him transported to me sight unseen. He is very, very smart. He has learned his commands and lots of tricks. He NOT obedient like a shepherd. He has is own agenda. He is snarky, like many beagles can be. He has been a challenge, but sooooo much fun. Some of my beagle friends do agility with their dogs and think my boy would be great at agility.

A few weeks ago, I started fostering a 7 year old GSD for a local rescue. He is a BIG boy. He is a velcro shepherd. I call his name or say, "Come Back!" and he is immediately at my side. He is a very intimidating looking boy. People don't realize how sweet he is and no one asks to pet him. LOL! He will be the perfect dog for someone, but not for me.

I thought I would have another shepherd in a heartbeat. I do miss some of the shepherd qualities. Having a foster makes me think I am more of a one dog person. As much as I love the breed, I am head over heels in love with my snarky hound mix. Go figure. Every dog deserves that. I understand you being disappointed that your dog isn't the GSD of your dreams, but how will you feel if you let her go? Will you miss her? Wonder if she is OK? Is she worth putting your dreams on hold until you are in a position to have two dogs? I'm sure she has lots of untapped potential, if you are willing to give her a chance. Give her a try at agility. She might enjoy that. Perhaps your dream shepherd wouldn't enjoy agility at all. 

If you absolutely cannot love and bond with this pup, I agree to find her a loving home with someone who can. If that is your decision, don't wait too long. It isn't fair to her.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

If you got her "papers" and the "breeders contract", why do you think she's a mix? 

Post a picture of her , would love to see her.

Crate training is an owners best friend, keeps the puppy safe and your possessions safe as well


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Here is my suggestion....

1) Buy a crate and crate train her to
a) avoid future items being torn up, costing you money not only in replacement but also potential medical bills.
b) give her a safe place to be. I have one dog who will sleep on the floor outside the crate if the door is closed! That is her "place"

2) Get involved in training. It might be Rally, Obedience, Agility....pick something and start training. The best way to build a bond is to train. 

3) Learn from her! Your next dog can be more carefully chosen to ensure you get what you want but in the meantime...learn FROM her!


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

short story hopefully..years ago, I picked up a 12 week old female gsd rescue, rangey, biting, spawn of the devil, I was NOT going to keep her, I did NOT want a female, I did NOT particularly like this girl, she was NOT a prime example of what I wanted in my next gsd. 

I was going to rehab some, and place her,,the dog had other plans, she "made" me like her, she "made" me love her, She was fearless, ready for anything I threw (not literally) at her, she taught me EVERYTHING and more. She ended up being one of my 'heart' dogs, gave me everything asking for nothing but love in return..

This dog you have, could be that and more,


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## Merciel (Apr 25, 2013)

I was disappointed in Pongu for a while. (I mean, disappointed for similar reasons as the OP, not for the many _other_ reasons I complain about my dog.)

The shelter had him listed as a German Shepherd/Doberman Pinscher mix, and I saw that and thought "oh hey cool I'll get a big protective dog" because, well, I was an idiot.

I did not get a big protective dog. I got a medium-ish cowardly insane imp of a dog. He is a German Shepherd mix but I don't think there's a drop of Doberman in him (which actually is probably a good thing because can you _imagine_ the list of possible health issues between those two breeds? Good lord, I wince just thinking of it).

It honestly took me a while to get over my disappointment with that, compounded with the disappointment that dawned on me once I realized that I had gotten a perpetually malfunctioning dog who never was going to be quite right in the head. If I'm completely honest, probably the whole first year I had Pongu was a long series of cascading disappointments, because the more I learned about dogs, the more problems I became aware of.

I always loved him -- I loved him totally and hopelessly from the first night that he cried in his crate but snuggled up next to me on my sad partly-deflated air mattress and went contentedly to sleep -- but I was also disappointed for a long, long time. And mad at myself for being disappointed, because it felt so stupid and shallow, especially in the face of how devotedly _he_ loved _me,_ but it was still there.

It doesn't make me feel good to confess that, but that truly is how I felt.

Anyway by then Pongu was My Dog, and giving up on him was out of the question, so I learned to be a better owner and he learned to be a (marginally, very marginally) less crazy dog and I don't care one bit anymore that he's not the breed mix I originally thought he was. It doesn't matter.

What _does_ matter is that he will put his whole heart into doing his best to be the dog I want him to be, even when that is obviously very very difficult for him. He tries _so hard_ to make me happy, and he is so proud when he does it, and how can I look at that and still feel disappointment today? I can't. It's inconceivable.

This feeling will pass, if you want it to and if you open yourself to seeing what your dog really is and can become.

If not, then rehome the dog now while it's young enough to be easily adoptable.


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## lalachka (Aug 13, 2013)

Merciel, I very much enjoy reading posts like yours. We are all humans, we all have many flaws and most of the time we can't control how we feel. 

It takes a lot from a person to be honest with themselves about how they feel if their feelings are not noble. And it takes even more to be able to come out and say it knowing the reaction it will get from all the people pretending they never felt like that. 

I don't know what it is about people that they feel the need to say 'yeah, maybe I did this but I never did THAT' but it always saddens me to see it. 

It's annoying to quote from my phone so excuse me if I mess up your quote, but I love how you described your feelings when you said that you resented yourself for being shallow but at the same time couldn't help how you feel. 

You look pretty young on your pics, you're a much better person than I was at your age.

ETA you're probably a much better person than I am now at my age. Lol I just realized how that sounded, I meant it as a compliment but it came out weird.


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## LeoRose (Jan 10, 2013)

If you are disappointed in your dog because of your expectations, maybe you should change your expectations. 

When I adopted Ilka, I was hoping she would be a big dog (like 75 pounds big). She tops the scale at 49 pounds. Oh, well, she's incredibly athletic. She can run upwards of 40 MPH, turn on a dime and give nine cents change, and scale my 6' chain link fence with ease (okay, I'm not too happy with that last one, but hey, I deal with it). 

I decided she would be my competition obedience dog. Well, first All American OTCH/UDX/RAE, she ain't. She's too reactive, and is retired from the ring with a BN, RE, and two legs of a CD. Okay, then.. she is fantastic at lure coursing, and the only reason she doesn't have her CAX is that I can't afford to run her very often. She also looks like she's going to be a good tracker (first All American CT, here we come). 

She will _never_ be the dog I wanted when I adopted her. So, I've adjusted my goals to take advantage of the dog she is, and not the dog I hoped she would be. I don't love because she is "perfect". I love her because she _is_.


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## LifeofRiley (Oct 20, 2011)

I hope this isn't too redundant with other posts as I haven't read all of them...

Give the dog you have a chance - build a bond, engage in activities that are mutually enjoyable and before you know it you will be wondering what you ever did before having this dog in your life! 

Some of the best pleasures in life are the ones that are unexpected! 

If you go down the path of deciding that it is best to re-home a dog just because it doesn’t exactly match your going-in vision of a dog, you will likely miss out on really understanding any dog’s potential – purebred or not. 

Focus on the dog you have and I guarantee you that what you get back will be more rewarding than anything you could have imagined beforehand!


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## AugustGSD (Mar 29, 2013)

You really shouldn't force yourself to love a dog that you don't. I agree with others that you should rehome her if you don't want her. Keeping a dog just because you feel your stuck is not going to be beneficial to you or the dog. Either accept her for her or rehome her.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

the OP should keep the dog untill she can decide whether or not
she wants the dog. how long is that, only the OP knows.



doggiedad said:


> keep the dog for now. later on if you're not feeling it for the dog rehome her.





JackandMattie said:


> How much later, though? Time ticks away quickly for most dogs looking for a second chance at love
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Sunstreaked (Oct 26, 2010)

DissaMia said:


> Dis-A-Mi came from a woman who had her 'papers', a 'breeders' contract and a sick, sick dog that she couldn't take care of. The woman said that the breeder stopped responding when she had asked him to help with her vet bills, via her contract. *And when he wouldn't respond, she reached out to someone who could help. And that was me*. I was saving my money for a GSD that would be close to 2000, because I wanted a working line dog to go hiking, swimming and enter some local agility competitions.


Ok, I think this got missed. You were saving for your own GS and a friend had a dog who needed help and *you* were the one who took the dog. 

You love the dog, but you're a bit regretful because by taking this dog you don't get to have the GS you were saving for. Is this right? 

If so, I understand why you're disappointed and hope things work out for you.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

the shepherd you are seeing beside her is in the future. she is here now.

i SO agree with whoever said you sometimes get what you need and not what you want. 

if you acknowledge (as you have), your disappointment, embrace the idea of the shepherd you're seeing beside her as coming in the future, and dwell on all those positive things you've spoken about with regard to *this* dog, whose life you saved, you may find that your feelings change. it all depends on how you decide to think about it. feelings follow thoughts.

you could also just consider yourself her foster and in a responsible and careful way look for another home for her.


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

doggiedad said:


> the OP should keep the dog untill she can decide whether or not
> she wants the dog. how long is that, only the OP knows.


I agree with you. And I do feel for the OP. 

It's just that, on a dog forum especially, I feel a responsibility to point out the best interest of the dog, and the reality is that the older it gets without adequate training, the slimmer its chances of a loving forever home 



katieliz said:


> . . .
> 
> you could also just consider yourself her foster and in a responsible and careful way look for another home for her.


And I think is a the kindest solution for both the OP and the dog! This a really fantastic solution!!




Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

Oops! I deleted this post. I accidentally quoted myself. Doh! That was awkward.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

got cha.



doggiedad said:


> the OP should keep the dog untill she can decide whether or not
> she wants the dog. how long is that, only the OP knows.





JackandMattie said:


> I agree with you. And I do feel for the OP.
> 
> >>>>> It's just that, on a dog forum especially, I feel a responsibility to point out the best interest of the dog, and the reality is that the older it gets without adequate training, the slimmer its chances of a loving forever home <<<<<
> 
> ...


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## vprasad (May 17, 2013)

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. ~Edward Hoagland


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