# Too many choices



## FundamentalPrinciples (May 24, 2012)

I apologize if this is in the wrong section of the forum.

Some small details before I start. I am twenty-three, self-employed, financially secure, own my home, and married, with two brat cats. I am very active, walking 5-7 miles a day with hikes on the weekends. I grew up in a family that owned german shepherds, but it was never my job to care for them. I consider it effectively, that this will be my first dog. 

I have been undergoing animal therapy with my therapist for almost four years now, in regards to social anxiety. We started with small animals, and after that went well, it was suggested I adopt a cat. I adopted two. :wub: The therapy has been going well, and the love of my cats for me, and my love for them, has helped me connect to people better, and I feel comfortable in groups up to 5-6 people.

We have been ready to go to the next step of therapy, which requires "socializing" me to large groups of people. My go-to for this was always to be with my husband, his presence helped calm me. He cannot always be there to do that though, and I freeze up even walking into a crowded grocery store. My therapist suggested that since I seem to bond so well with animals, that I get a dog and make them my companion to take with me everywhere. I agreed that it could work, and if not, I could have a new friend at least to hang out with. Since I grew up with german shepherds, I figured that would be the safest to get.

My problem here is this: I am not sure where the best place would be to get one from. 

I have enough money to buy a good puppy from a breeder, but since I will be taking the animal to my weekly therapy sessions once acclimated, I would prefer to have one sooner than later, so this option is most likely out.

There are many german shepherd rescues in SoCal. I have looked at coastal, westside, high desert, and oc rescue. I am terrified of the home check requirements though. I understand the reasoning, but it makes me very anxious to have people coming to my house in the first place. Still working on that one.

Even beyond that, which rescue do I focus on? They all have wonderful looking animals. 

I also am living really close to the well known Devore animal shelter. I check their listings every day, and I know they have GSD's coming through there all the time. 

I do not know if I should save a dog from the kill shelter, at the risk of it not working out with that animal, or do I try to endure a home check and hope for the best?


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

All I can say is this: I was looking for a rescue all over the place, and even ended up checking with the rescues you mentioned, even though they are very far from me. 

When I turned in my application, I was denied because I own a cat. They said 99% of their rescues hate cats and 1% are unknown, so they would rather not give me a dog. 

After speaking with many people, I gave up and went for a puppy instead. 

Good luck finding a dog who can help you. GSDs are the best, in my opinion.


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## FundamentalPrinciples (May 24, 2012)

Sunflowers said:


> All I can say is this: I was looking for a rescue all over the place, and even ended up checking with the rescues you mentioned, even though they are very far from me.
> 
> When I turned in my application, I was denied because I own a cat. They said 99% of their rescues hate cats and 1% are unknown, so they would rather not give me a dog.
> 
> ...


Thank you for replying and the encouragement. I figured that I would not have much luck with rescues, and based on your response, it is almost assured. I will still try and see, but will not feel so bad about it if it was denied for that reason.

I'll be perusing the shelters/smaller rescues then to get a feel for the animals, and if I do not feel comfortable even still, I suppose I will put myself in line for a puppy from a breeder.


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## Bridget (Apr 5, 2004)

I would try with a rescue first. Hopefully you can get around the cat thing, as I know not all GSDs chase cats. I understand why a breeder and the wait won't work out for you so well. But it sounds to me like you need a specialized dog and a rescue is more likely than a shelter to be able to supply you with the dog you need and they know their dogs better. Good luck and you will be in my thoughts.


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

That's great you're going to try a rescue  I would just be very honest with the rescue on your needs and hopefully they'll understand and work with you to find a dog that'll match  If one rescue turns you down, don't get discouraged and try another


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

It might benefit you to get a letter from your therapist regarding your needs for canine companionship. You could submit the letter to the rescues/shelters and that should help them find a good match for you. 

Also, don't discount good breeders. I think I would contact them as well with your request and a copy of the letter from your therapist. There are many breeders who, even if they don't have a puppy/dog available they might know someone who does.


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## juliejujubean (May 4, 2011)

Lilie said:


> It might benefit you to get a letter from your therapist regarding your needs for canine companionship. You could submit the letter to the rescues/shelters and that should help them find a good match for you.
> 
> Also, don't discount good breeders. I think I would contact them as well with your request and a copy of the letter from your therapist. There are many breeders who, even if they don't have a puppy/dog available they might know someone who does.


i agree..
Good luck on your journey. And you chose the right dog for this  none better than a good ole gsd!


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## martemchik (Nov 23, 2010)

Look for a breeder that is retiring an older dog, or looking to place a dog that didn't work out for them for one reason or another. This would probably be a great option as those dogs are well trained and probably around the age you're looking for.

Reading your story...I'm not sure you'll be able to take your dog everywhere with you, I don't want to discourage you but there are very strict guidelines on what is and isn't a service dog, and many times these companion dogs fall into a grey area that can bring unnecessary liability to the handler. This dog would have to be extremely well trained and have amazing nerves, the one thing about GSDs is that they pick up on their handler's emotions very well and if you get nervous, they get nervous, or they try to figure out what it is that's making you nervous and make that stop. Like the fact that you get nervous and anxious when someone is in your home would not bode well if you have a GSD, they can react very aggressively in that situation and the outcome might not be very nice.

I would suggest talking to some breeders and maybe service dog organizations so that they can point you in the right direction. I'm sorry if you've already thought about all these things and I'm just repeating them, but to me that is a pretty large red flag...especially with a GSD. I know that most of these things are trainable but like you said, you don't have the time and this is really going to be a benefit to you first. I guess its just something to think about.


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

I think the best way to go about it is to contact the rescues that you are interested in and ask them specifically what their policy is about placing dogs in homes with cats. If they say they never do it, then you'll know. But at least follow through on asking yourself before deciding to write them off.

I would not recommend that you adopt a dog straight from any shelter. Shelters are very stressful places to begin with, which makes it difficult to get an accurate assessment done on a dog. German Shepherds are notorious for not handling that environment well. The dog you walk out with is almost guaranteed to not be the same dog you are living with a few weeks down the road.

Focus on those rescues that have a solid, successful system in place. Do they evaluate their available dogs and make placement decisions on the best fit for humans and dog? Or is it first come, first served? Have the dogs had a health check done by a vet? Does the rescue work with the dogs on basic obedience and house skills while waiting for a new home? What is their policy for taking back a dog that just isn't working out?

I think the recommendation to get your therapist to write a letter outlining what you need in a dog and why is a great one. Do you need a cuddly dog that you can love on in social situations? Or do you need a super outgoing dog that will break the ice for you? Your needs will dictate the dogs you look at. You don't want to fall in love with a dog that really doesn't like being hugged and loved on a lot if that is what you need. Will the dog need any specialized training in order to fulfill the required tasks?

Purchasing a puppy can be a crap shoot. You could easily spend a couple of thousand dollars and still end up with a dog that can't do what you need to do. Have you considered contacting a service dog organization and talking about what you need and what is available as an already trained dog? At the very least maybe you could find a service dog trainer that can help you select the dog that best fits your needs. There is a service dog forum here (down towards the bottom of the page), maybe you could post there and see what you can learn? There are some very knowledgeable members that post there.

Good luck. I have a lot of respect for what you're trying to accomplish!
Sheilah


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## FundamentalPrinciples (May 24, 2012)

sit said:


> Good luck. I have a lot of respect for what you're trying to accomplish!





martemchik said:


> I know that most of these things are trainable but like you said, you don't have the time and this is really going to be a benefit to you first. I guess its just something to think about.


Thank you both, really. I posted here because I knew I would get no-nonsense answers, and that the people posting and suggestion are doing so for the best interest of the animals. You are able to give perspective that I lack.

Also, thank you juliejujubean and Lilie for the suggestion of a letter. I honestly did not even consider that.

I took the liberty of printing out the suggestions in this thread, and took them with me to therapy today so we could discuss it. My therapist does do volunteer animal therapy with the local VA hospital, and she brought one of her dogs for me to interact with today. She wanted to see if just the presence of the dog, and knowing it was near, was enough for me to feel ok. 

She agreed that I primarily stay away from shelters, but did mention that if I want, she would come with me to a shelter and help show me how to assess and understand an animal better that has been in shelter conditions. 

We did discuss how to handle my anxiety on the presence of a dog. She took me outside, and had me walk her dog with her to an outdoor shopping center close by. We did have good luck in using a bit of reverse psychology before in confronting my fears, and as we got slowly closer, she reiterated what martemchik said, that I needed to try to keep as calm as I could on the outside, even if deep inside I was frightened, so that I would not hinder a dog emotionally. That made me feel guilty, and I did try harder. It was a struggle, but we were successful in walking past several stores, with many people hustling in and out. The presence of the dog did really help. I did not feel alone, which is the root of my problem. 

After we got back, I felt a little emotionally exhausted, but happy. My therapist, after letting me relax a bit, brought up the subject of possibly resuming a mild tranquilizer I used to take. I really did not want to, but I knew if I was to go forward, I would have to. A quick call to my psychiatrist , and with his approval, I am back to taking medication. She then gave me her "plan of action."

-We will be waiting 5 days to give the medicine some time to take hold. It takes two weeks for it to fully integrate with my system, but the majority of the effects take hold at 5-7 days.
-After that, we will repeat the exercise to see if the medicines help me stay calmer without exhausting me. If they do, she will write me a letter to show to rescues and breeders, specifying the type of temperament I need, in addition to anything I decide I want from a dog. 
-If I cannot, on my own, obtain a dog for whatever reason, my therapist said she will go through her private channels, and see if there is anything that the local service dog organization can do to help.
--I asked her why not that step first. She responded that any success I get on my own would be a huge confidence builder.

Before the session ended, I asked if I should be looking at a different breed. She responded that it depends on the luck we have with the rescues and possibly breeders. Since I grew up with GSD's, while I did not have to train them, I am very familiar with some of their known habits and body language. If we are told repeatedly that a GSD would not be right, then we will look elsewhere, understandably. 

Thank you again for your responses, and the understanding. I do not wish to feel this way, and I rationally know it is silly. I suppose in this odd way, that the presence of a dog will be socializing me and curing me of my separation anxiety.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I'm very glad you had a good visit with your therapist and have a plan of action to follow. 

I wish you the very best of luck with your search, don't be discouraged. Take your time, don't be afraid to ask questions.


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## Lallorona (May 28, 2012)

*Choices in adoption*

Dear Prospective Adopter,

The good news is that you DO have many choices---that's better than no choice at all, right?!? Speaking as a rescue, the home visit is not something that you should have trepidation about if you feel that your environment is safe and secure and appropriate for a GSD. The home visit--when conducted properly--will allow an experienced GSD owner to meet with you and your family and point out any potential hazards, escape routes, poisons, toxins, basically, to help you get off to the right start instead of having to reinvent the wheel. If you feel that anxious about it, then a GSD might not be the right choice for you. If this is your very first dog, shepherds are not always the best choice as they do have complex personalities and needs. They require very strong leadership in the pack, and significant time must be invested in training them to be the loving companions that you desire and expect. If you want a push-button type pet, a shepherd is not that. While they have many, many positive qualities, they are also prone to separation anxiety, over-protectiveness of the family/home, bossiness with smaller animals, etc.

With that said, without knowing more about your situation, you probably want to work with a rescue to find a mature dog with some training and social skills rather than starting from scratch. As much as people think it's "fun" to have a puppy, it requires a great deal of time and work. In the meantime, we suggest that you consider every breed to determine which has the right temperament and requirements to match your lifestyle. You will want to read some behavior books to better understand what to expect from a shepherd. Books that we recommend that you begin with are Leader of the Pack (Jan Fennell), The Dog Listener (Jan Fennell), How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend (The Monks of New Skeet). We suggest that you do a great deal of reading FIRST---as hard as it is to wait--because you are making a decision that will last for 12 years. Look into the future and imagine where you will be in 12 years and if you don't see the dog you're adopting now in that picture, then it might be wise to reconsider your timing.

Of course, every rescue is happy when a dog is rescued from an animal shelter. That is also an excellent option--whether purebred or nice friendly mixed breed. Work with a shelter that 'knows' the animals there (e.g. Irvine Animal Shelter) and they can give you more insight into an individual dog's personality to help you make the best match. Whatever you decide, it's your dog and your commitment--no matter what changes your life will take, so please take your time and don't rush.

Good luck.


Maria, Volunteer
German Shepherd Rescue Orange County
Voted "Best Place To Adopt A Pet 2011" by OC Weekly Magazine
German Shepherd Rescue | Orange County, CA | Dog Rescue


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