# Foster Rollercoaster



## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

Truth of the matter- I'm at a low. I just want to focus on my own dog! I suppose this is normal?


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## Stevenzachsmom (Mar 3, 2008)

Never fostered, but I imagine it is normal. You have done such a great job with your foster - really above and beyond. No wonder you are tired. Maybe you could get a friend to spend a little time with your foster, so you could spend more time with your own dog.

I don't know what it is Willy. I'm feeling low too, even without a foster. My girl is 14 and I'm really seeing the decline. Don't get me wrong....I love her to death and will be here for her 'til the end. There just isn't much enjoyment any more. All work and no fun. And the worst part is knowing that it isn't going to get any better. OK. Now I feel like a really bad person. Going to give her some loves and go to bed.

Get some rest. We're going to feel better in the morning. LOL!


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

Stevenzachsmom said:


> All work and no fun.


I tried to do some playing/training with Pimg tonight, enjoying our new training room. But Gretchen was going crazy in the crate barking and crying to try to get out and join. (She wasn't physically trying to get out- still a good thing, but she was crying for me to let her out.) Pimg wouldn't focus on me. She wouldn't focus on the training. She'd tug, but that's about it. It sucks... I guess I'll just have to be sure to keep Gretchen in the other room when we want to train.

I'm also having difficulty getting a response from the foster coordinator. Gretchen's fluoxetine runs out in five days so I'll need a refill and haven't heard back; I realized I've had her six weeks and have no idea about if she's on a HW preventative and haven't heard back; and I really REALLY want to move her to a large wire crate and haven't heard back...

I dunno- I hate constant ranting/venting on this forum. But I guess I needed to a little.


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

Yes, it is very normal. I have always looked at this phase as similar to living with a teenaged child. If we loved them in the same way as we did when they were 3 years old, we would never be able to let them go out into the world. So the teen years are there to allow us to let them grow up and leave.

Same with a foster. 
Sheilah


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

Here, the fosters are crated and I snuggle with my own dogs on my bed at night. 
Sometimes I'm amazed, when I think of it, I will tell them, "I didn't see you all day!" I mean I saw them but didn't interact that much. So I cherish our time together and our dogs know they are valued that way as well...a bit more "special" you know?


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## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

It's normal. I'm take a long break from fostering to focus on my own dogs and family.

Regarding HW, I personally have never done it in the winter but then again, I use straight oral liquid ivermectin so I'm already bucking the trend. The day someone can explain to me how a mosquito transmitted disease can infect a dog long after mosquitos are gone is the day I'll do HW preventative in the winter. Someone actually once said, "What if a HW infected mosquito got in your house, and lived for a month and then infected your dogs." 

I mean, really??


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## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

And this is just my person experience, but having fostered tons of animals (mostly dogs) through a variety of different types of organizations over the years....I find that the longer you have the dog, the more the organization moves on to finding current dogs a foster home, an adoptive home, a rescue, etc. They tend to forget about the ones currently in a foster home, and I believe it's because they hear the dog is doing well, you haven't returned it, and they assume you'll continue to keep it.

In almost ALL my foster cases, I ended up finding the dog a home, and then sending them to the organization for final approval. But I'd already done the screening, the meeting with the dog, etc. I can't think of any foster actually that the shelter/rescue found a home for. How exactly are they trying to find her a home? Is she even on petfinder? If she is, are there good current pictures and a writeup with good things about her to catch peoples attention?


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## gsdraven (Jul 8, 2009)

wildo said:


> I tried to do some playing/training with Pimg tonight, enjoying our new training room. But Gretchen was going crazy in the crate barking and crying to try to get out and join.


I make it a point when I foster to be enrolled in a class with my personal dog(s) so that we have at least 1 night away togther. I also try and make sure that each dog gets 1 special outing with me, just me and them, a week. It's a lot now with 3 dogs but it helps to me to keep connected with my dogs. 

I know Gretchen has been a lot of work but not all fosters disrupt your life that way. In fact, unless there are some real issues to be worked on, you should keep your routine as normal as possible for your resident dog(s) and the foster works around that schedule.


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

A whole lot depends on the foster. One of mine right now is a dream - Marley is such a good girl. She demands very little and could not be a nicer pooch. 

Sometimes I cry when they leave and other times I do the happy dance and seriously consider changing my phone number so they can't find me if they decide to return the dog. (just kidding!)

Some fosters are very needy, some need a lot of work, others don't need much at all to be ready to be adopted. 

Set special time aside for your own dogs. Perhaps the rescue could help you out by having another volunteer work with your foster dog during an evening or on the weekend. 

We have adoption days almost every weekend, so when I have a foster that is ready to be adopted, quite often another volunteer will take them to the adoption day for me. Volunteers who can't foster are usually willing to help with things like this. 

All the best and a huge THANK YOU for fostering. Hang in there! Your kindness will be rewarded.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

Absolutely normal. With every foster that's not adopted fairly quickly, I get to this place where I'm like "OK, I'm ready for this dog to be _gone._"

It helps to place clear boundaries between the dogs that are yours and the dog that is the foster. My dogs sleep with me in the bedroom. Fosters sleep in a crate in the kitchen. My dogs go with me on long off-leash hikes, out on the boat when the weather is good, and to classes. Fosters do not. 

Ditto what everybody else said. Update her bio on your rescue's website, get some new pictures posted, and get her to some adoption events if you have them. Time for her to find her forever home.


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## I_LOVE_MY_MIKKO (Oct 4, 2006)

Like everyone else, I try to do special things with my dog when I have a foster. He sleeps in our room and the foster is crated in another room. We go to agility class one night a week, we go to trials by ourselves if they are local, and sometimes my husband will take Mikko to the dog park by himself. 

I ended up asking if there was another foster home for a dog several months ago. We had him for almost three months and not a single person had shown any interest in him. He was a mix and was priced at the purebred BC prices and we lived three hours away from the rescue. He had really bad leash aggression and we live in a place that we walk our dog everywhere and there are a lot of other dogs walking. And we didn't want to take him to agility trials- but we travel a lot for them. He was really affecting our lifestyle and Mikko's lifestyle. We didn't feel that he was getting anywhere with us and not long after he left for another foster home, closer to the rescue, he was adopted.

Yet, my last foster- a GSD- we fell in love with and wanted to keep so badly.


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## Bridget (Apr 5, 2004)

I so understand what you are going through. We have our first foster, a little terrier. We are not the best foster scenario because two of our three dogs are dog aggressive, so have to share the loose-in-the-house time with Ashley. We agreed to foster Ashley temporarily, as she was confiscated from a bad situation, it was supposed to be for about ten weeks. We have now had her for four and a half months. I agree that we will most likely have to "market" Ashley ourselves, as being in a foster home makes her not as high a priority to the shelter director as the dogs who live in the shelter. Which makes sense, but doesn't help us much. (I think the director figures we will eventually adopt her anyway LOL!)

I am finding that you are walking a fine line with fostering: you have to keep a mental distance for the dog's sake and for your own, but at the same time the reason for fostering is largely to give the foster dog a family life and learning experiences. So you can't keep her completely out of the family. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for my own dogs, that this isn't fair to them. Other times, I feel like they are so very lucky and it doesn't hurt them to make the sacrifice. I'm not much help except I know just how you feel. Rollercoaster....yep.


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

Thanks everyone- glad to know this is normal...

I have not yet decided to label Gretchen as "adoptable." The HS told me the two criterion we should use for Gretchen's adaptability are:


Can she be walked in public without shutting down
Can she be left alone in a crate without going insane, hurting herself, or attempting to escape

I would definitely label her adoptable on criterion #1, but I'm not ready to concede #2. Until I've had a chance to test her in a wire crate for a period of time, I don't feel it satisfactory to call her "adoptable." Having said that- I think she's come a long way and I'm surprised how little time it's taken. If the HS can supply me a wire crate to work with, I'd probably be willing to mark her adoptable in a few weeks depending on her crate behavior. She is not currently listed anywhere such as PetFinder or on the HS website.

Thank you all for your suggestions on separating the two. I do try to keep the lifestyles separate, but sometimes it's not enough. In a lot of ways, Pimg is very much an "only child" and while that might be anthropomorphic, I really think it's true. She doesn't enjoy the company and she barely tolerates it. I think she's kind of getting sick of Gretchen and her lack of focus while training last night seems to indicate such. And to be honest- I'm sick of hearing my dog growl all the time... She's very socialized, but she just doesn't like the company. (Pimg is *not* DA; I don't want that to be taken the wrong way.)

I guess I'm just hitting the apparently normal period of "get this dog outta here please!" Of course I'll work through it... I do like the suggestion of possibly finding a place for Gretchen to stay for a day on a weekly basis. That could really be nice!


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

Wow! Just the pick-me-up I needed! 

Just got a response from the foster coordinator who apologized for the delay in response. She found me TWO large wire crates (I have my pick), has put in for a refill on the Prozac, and is also getting a HW preventative together. Additionally she's floored by Gretchen's progress.

(And as it were, she's also the owner of a GSD from a particularly popular kennel on these forums, and we have scheduled a meet & greet with her dog [to meet the dog- of course I've already met her].)

ummm... SWEET!!


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Great news, Willy! I'm glad things have taken on a better light.


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