# Not really sure about the purpose of this post.. lol.



## elisabeth_00117 (May 17, 2009)

Stark is having some set backs and I am not quite sure why.

On vacation last weekend he met a young girl in her teens. He showed interest in her and she didn't tell me she was scared of him so I allowed him to approach her, as he never wants to really engage with others. I took this as a positive sign as his body was loose, tail was slightly wagging and ears were relaxed. He wasn't fixated on her or anything so I allowed him to say hello. After a moment of sniffing, the girl jumped back and screamed. Well, you know what followed; the barking. I was able to stop the barking in a few seconds and we kept our distance after that, but he was very focused on her. He would sniff for a few seconds and then re-focus on the girl. After a minute of that I took Stark away because it was clear that he wasn't going to relax.

About two nights later, while out for a walk with my parents and their little poodle we came across an elderly couple. They were very kind, showed NO fear of Stark and were talking to the poodle in my step-mom's arms. Stark said hello to the wife nicely but then I took him away to go potty. When the man said hello to me and asked if Stark could say hello to him, I said sure and moved closer. Stark seemed fine up until this point, relaxed and totally at ease but once the man got near Stark, he just went off and started barking. My parents have never witnessed Stark being reactive so they were quite taken back, so was the man for a moment. I took Stark away and was able to re-focus him on me which helped. He went back to being relaxed right after.

During both of these instances Stark was getting treats right before and was being praised for his good behaviour. 

Last night Stark and I were outside our new security guard in the building who has seen Stark out with the other dogs and neighbours approached us from behind (I did not see him). This security guard is terrified of Stark and will come out to see the dogs but stay behind the fence. I have given this man treats to give to Stark but he will just throw them at Stark or on the ground with one of those "I'm terrified take this" ways. You can see the fear he has of the dogs. Anyways, last night we were about 10 ft away from the man when Stark started barking at him. I turned around and saw him and told Stark to "hush" and he did. 

I love Stark so much and think he is doing great with his reactivity. Like today, we had his doggy-friend over to play while his owners went out and Stark was superb when his doggy-friends child owner and her friend came over to say goodbye. Stark took treats and seemed pretty relaxed with the two girls (about 10?). One thing I kept trying to stop was the one girl trying to bend over Stark and give him a kiss or have him kiss her. I told the girl that Stark wasn't a kissy dog but she could give him some treats, which she did. Stark looked a little uncomfortable when the girl went to bend down (and so did I!) near his face. I immediately took Stark out of the situation and treated him for being calm.

I am kind of depressed about this whole thing because I really want to start trialing with Stark this summer (this month actually) but Stark is just not there yet when it comes to his reactivity. 

He nails his routines (BH) and he is performace ready. From a dog I couldn't get focused to being able to work through a whole BH routine, he has come so far and is doing so well.

I had a bunch of plans for this summer with trailing and classes but think that it would be better for Stark to just work on gaining some confidence near strangers and in such a busy environment.

Once he meets the people a few times he is totally at ease with them. Like a man in our building who has be-friended Stark which is a total surprise to everyone. Stark will bring this guy a ball, take treats from and listen to commands. He doesn't do that with anyone but me usually! This man who he has met a handful of times has seem to be able to get to Stark in a different way than others have. Very surprising.

I was going to take classes with Stark again specifically for his reactivity as we have pretty much run through every course out there in my area (obedience, rally, agility, schH (we will continue to train), etc.) but I think it is kind of pointless because after a few times meeting the people in the class, he will be fine and we wouldn't really be working on anything *inside* the class that would benefit Stark and his issues.

I want to do so much with Stark but he is just not there yet, it is very frustrating and depressing. I know he has the potential to do well and I know he enjoys working with me but it's getting past this reactivity that is holding him back. 

I was going to take the CGN (Canadian version of the CGC) but I know Stark would not pass. We have taken a course that works on the tasks for this but like I said, he does well once he knows someone, once the test date would come, he would be reactive.

I guess this post is a sort of rant, a worded-sigh, I don't know really.. I just wanted to write out my feelings. I know others on this board are dealing with the same thing and so I guess I am just looking to chat about it and what we are going through.


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## ShenzisMom (Apr 27, 2010)

I'm so sorry you are having a bad week with your buddy. In the year I've had Shenzi I've come to realize that she is *my* dog. She is my *boyfriends* dog. And to everyone else, she is just there. I used to have people give her treats, tell her to sit, kids play with her and a ball. But as time went on I realized that she is *my* dog, and *my* dog is not comfortable with strangers. My friends come over, but for 3 seconds (I mean THREE. This is NOT allowed!) you'd think the world was ending. After she realizes 'its those nice people who throw a ball for me' they get kisses and cuddles. But I do not need my dog to be friendly with others. I NEED my dog to get into elevators without grumbling about it, I need my dog to pass people in hallways, on the street, to be kid safe. But she is not comfortable with strangers so I essentially gave up. 
She is not the sport dog I wanted, but she is my dog and she will have a comfortable life, a safe life, until she dies a natural/euth due to health issues death. She'll never know the difference either, because I still treat her like I would a 8 month old puppy. She's just "stuck" there, really.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Very sorry for your troubles with your dog. They are so good in so many ways we sometimes expect them to be just what we want in all ways. But we have to be accepting and flexible and take them as they are. My dog was aloof and withdrawn with dogs and other people until recently. It was like someone flicked a switch and turned her into a lovable lab. Now she is more friendly than I would like with people and very good with dogs. This happened a month or so ago and she has remained the same. Our dogs are full of surprises. Hopefully, your dog will surprise you in just the way you want.


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## Tihannah (Dec 27, 2009)

:hugs: From someone that feels your pain. You already know how much I can relate with Kaiya. There is so much I would like to do with her, but know she will never be able to handle it with her nerves. Try not to get yourself down, you've come such a long way with Stark and he has made such great improvements and he is still a young dog. I'm sure that you will make your goals with him! Keep your head up, hon!


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Sounds like you have the right idea to slow down with Stark. Daisy is reactive ,could go from comfortable to uncomfortable.I got good at reading body language.She is 11 years old now and appears less reactive with strangers then ever before. Lucky likes everybody and once introduced ,just goes on about his business, He still hates people in his face but his reactions to it are much calmer,looks at me ,turns his back or in the house leaves.It is hard and dissappointing when you want your dog to share all the parts of your life but they need time or that is not a skill they can develop. I dont know how old Stark is but as Daisy has gotten older she has become much calmer.She gave kisses to everyone and was called an angel ,not Attilla .


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

Daisy was called an angel by the vet's office


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## codmaster (Aug 5, 2009)

Patience and keep working with him. Sounds like you are on the right path.

We have a 3=yo male GSD and even though most of the time he is actually more friendly and outgoing with total strangers that I would really like, once in a while he will still react barking at some other people.

Our behaviorist said that sometimes he justn't like someone.


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## DTS (Oct 19, 2010)

Jasmine has this reaction problem. SHe has gotten tons better. We are at the point where if we see people she's fine. If approach she's ok but if they talk to her make eye contact or try and pet she will bark. Were as before if he saw anyone anywhere she would bark. We still have a long way to go. She also will raise hackles and bark at other shepherds where as other dogs she want to play or sniff. Just our experience. It started at 7 months old and she's 14 months old


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## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

Elizabeth, you know my view on Stark but I will stay say it  Based on your posts, he is not reactive. The problem is that you keep pushing him into meeting everyone even those that he doesn't want to meet, you want to turn him into a dog he is not, and you keep putting him into situations where he repeats and reinforces his barking. Your summer plan to work on Stark's gaining confidence will backfire, and I wouldn't be surprised if you get the opposite to intended results. 

Focus on BH, give Stark real accomplishments and let him be for a while without 'working' on him and 'fixing' him. 

I know you love him very much, but you do not seem to have enough trust in him.


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## Jax's Mom (Apr 2, 2010)

^I think I agree with this. Jax has similar issues but I've noticed that when I walk him off leash, he's perfectly fine and you don't hear a peep out of him so it must be me and not him. He can keep a "safe" distance from whatever he wants to avoid... I'm wondering if it might be a leash/territory thing? From what I've gathered, Stark doesn't have a yard, either does Jax... Could their issues stem from being in a certain state when they leave their "home"? Meaning as soon as they've stepped outside, they're away from their territory?


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## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

I'm not a good one to give advice because as you know, I'm in the same boat. I waver from being convinced that slowly (emphasis on the slooooooowly) and surely Niko and I will make it to being non-reactive, to being convinced that I need to invest in a prong and TEACH THAT BOY SOME MANNERS!!!  Which is not how I want to do it. 

Those are interesting points from GSD07 and Jax's Mom. I'm not sure how I feel about what Jax's Mom says about territory. Niko has the same level of reactivity no matter where he is. And I also am not ready to give up on my own plan of continuing to socialize Niko much in the same manner as you are doing (except Stark is MUCH less reactive than Niko if he will let a little girl pet him, LOL!). But Niko needs to meet people at least five or six times before being comfortable with them. And he doesn't ever really seem to want to make new friends. Also, he still barks at my parents (whom he loves) when they come visit, until he realizes/remembers who they are. Heck, he will bark at me if he finds me outside unexpectedly!

So, no real helpful advice here, but I feel your pain. I hope that it gets better for you and Stark!


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## Whiteshepherds (Aug 21, 2010)

I don't know if this will help, but if you believe your dog is reactive, this article has some good information. Canine University: News -- Canine Behavior - So Your Dog Is Reactive!


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## Tbarrios333 (May 31, 2009)

Stark and Denali are basically the same age I believe. 2 years old?
When Denali was younger, she was basically like a lab or a golden; loved on everyone.
As soon as she hit the two year mark however, it's like I flipped a switch. I never thought I would have that aloof shepherd that really is just a one person dog, but Denali did turn in to that. Almost overnight, she changed from super social to very picky about who gets to pet her. She still tolerates people and will allow strangers to be close, but she will sit far away and basically ignore them. One time, she even growled at a kid that was being unruly. 
Now i'm not saying she never seeks attention or is completely intolerant of strangers. On the rare occasion, she will go up to someone, sniff/lick them and then stand there for a scratching. She definitely picks and chooses who gets to pet her and those people should just consider themselves lucky (I know I do).
It took me a while to figure out that she had just changed and she was over random strangers coming up to her (usually over her head) baby talking her and being annoying. A lot of times, people would kiss her (really? why would you kiss a strange dog) and hug her. Obviously, I made those visits short and kept walking. 
I can see why Denali or even Stark would not appreciate strangers all over them. Strangers to our dogs = disrespectful people.
For a while though, I was worried that all the socialization I did with Denali was for nothing and she was going to hate people. I quickly realized though that I should just trust Denali and respect her wishes. I don't push strangers on her anymore because at the end of the day... the only one that would get enjoyment out of my dog interacting with a stranger is that stranger anyway. For everyone else, it's just stressful.

Just my .02.


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