# Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior



## lucymom (Jan 2, 2009)

Well, it's taken me 3 months to find the courage to post this. I've been referring to Lucy since I joined this great site and it's about time I introduced her the right way.

She was a heartdog. She came in to my life unexpectedly after I lost a puppy to severe intestinal problems. A wise and kind breeder sent her home with me "just for a bit" to foster for her. I never intended to fall in love.

Lucy could be aloof, stoic, not snuggly or licky. I never met a puppy like her. Turns out, she didn't have to be any of those things to love me with such intensity that it filled the room. I've never had a dog I've been so "in tune" with and vice versa. We were inseparable. For ten years, no matter what time of day I scooted home from work to check on my dogs, Lucy's face was ALWAYS in the window, keeping vigil.

Lucy was polite to everyone, but aloof unless it was her mamma. Frankly, she had little use for anybody else. I really don't know what I did to deserve her devotion. She and I had a private world, where she let her hair down to be a complete silly-butt when nobody else but her brother Aik was around.

Lucy always got the joke.

When I was really sick a couple of times, I had a big, burly friend who Lucy really liked come over to walk both dogs. I heard "honey, Lucy is not going!!!" and looked out to see a 200 pound man looking helplessly as a 60 pound dog bucked like a bronco and pulled free, to run back to me.

When I had surgery on my foot, Lucy, who HATED sleeping on my bed, stationed herself on my bed by my foot and bared her teeth to Aik if he came anywhere near the bed.

When I dated a man who Lucy very wisely determined she did not like, she took the two dogs beds he gave her (trying to win her over, she would not give him the time of day or take treats from him) she dragged them around the house and tore them to shreds. ONLY those beds, not the four other beds in the house.

Turns out, she was right, he was bad news.

She nearly died at age 2 from an array of tick-borne diseases. A heroic vet and Lucy's iron will kept her alive. I'd sit with her at the clinic at night, holding her paralyzed body, willing my soul to wrap around hers and hold it until the medicine could work.

Lucy made a full recovery, the only dog documented at that time to have done so from her illnesses. She went in to the medical books and her blood was drawn and sent yearly for 8 more years to NC State Tick-Borne Disease Research Lab. She is cited in several papers and studies. But I'm convinced it wasn't all medicine that saved her---she was refusing to leave her mamma.

I couldn't swim in the ocean with her, it worried her too much and she'd swim out to me and try to pull me back in. She was far more content to swim in the lake.

This September, I was kissing her goodnight when I was seized with a sense of dread. Lucy, going on 11, was the picture of health and energy--she could run and play like a puppy and was often mistaken for one. She was shiny and vibrant. But I felt like I was going to lose her.

A week later, she crashed. Her spleen ruptured, she had emergency surgery and was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma which had not appeared to metastasize.

She bounced back from surgery and we started chemo. I spent hundreds of hours online researching the disease and treatment protocols. I called university researchers, drug company CEOs and overseas vets. I gave myself a crash course in biochemistry to try to understand the interaction of the chemo with holisitic treatments I wanted to try. I just wanted a fighting chance to have her a year. 

I called our old vet in Vermont--the one who went to bat and saved her 8 years ago. She was shocked--when Lucy crashed and the week after, she found herself suddenly thinking of us, wondering where we were and how Lucy was. She even mentioned it to her husband.

It was the Lucy mind/soul meld from 8 years ago that we did to keep her alive---it was still there. The vet was now completely holisitic and gave us long distance guidance. She also got us the consultation services of a top oncologist from UPenn, her alma mater.

I thought I could beat hemangio with love and will.

Lucy was a trooper during chemo. She had some off days and her appetite changed. Nevertheless, she was the only dog the vet knew who GAINED weight on chemo--she was being plied with roasted chicken, duck and fish!! Her white cell counts stayed strong, ultrasounds were clean.

In the meantime, she and I got closer. I changed my work schedule, I went noplace other than work. Folks who know hemangio know it is invisible and can take your dog anytime. 

I woke up every night to check her gums. We took extra beach walks. Each moment was crystalline with love and cherished beyond what I had ever imagined.

She became my hero. She never faltered, never complained. She ran on the beach, stole her brohter's bones and swam in the waves. She would not be coddled, except at night, when we had our special time and she let her self be vulnerable.

I would look in her eyes and see all that mattered to me.

Christmas day, she crashed, we spent went to the emergency vet. It took two techs to restrain her, even as she bled out, to get her to stay on the stretcher as she tried to get back to me.

THere was nothing they could do...she had a major bleed. When I was able to be with her again, she was so weak. She reached a paw towards me and her eyes told me what I already knew. She had to leave.

I held her for 30 minutes while I waited for a friend to arrive to bring Aik to say goodbye. I smelled her head, rubbed her sweet shaved belly. Memorized everything I could about her. I asked the vet to come in...

And let her go......

Life is not the same now. A light has gone out of the world. I live alone--Lucy was my family, along with sweet loyal Aik. 

She lived only 3 months past diagnosis. I felt cheated. If cancer had been a flesh and blood beast that came to my door to hurt my dogs, I would have torn it limb from limb.

I could not fight this for her, how I wish I could.

Turns out, it's likely that her illness so long ago comprised her immune system and made it hard for her to fight the cancer.

Life goes on...I had a wonderful foster girl, I spend special time with Aik to help him with his deep mouring.

But I miss her every moment.

The pics are all taken after she had her surgery and during chemo. THe light in her eyes is bright, her joy sustained me through many worried nights. Her legs are shaved, her belly shaved, but cancer did NOTHING to diminish her spirit.

Nothing could do that.

I live each day trying to cherish the good--the way she taught me. And to face things bravely and to be polite....the way she was.

Thank you Lucy, for filling my life and heart. Your love warms me still and always will.
********
At her favorite beach, with her brother Aik (the sweet sable with the rock)









Ageless and joyful at almost 11.....









She always led the way "helloooo?? Can you guys PLEASE try to keep up??"









"cancer, shmancer, I want my ball back from the water!!"









The noble princess strikes a pose...









A big smile for the camera!









Rules are made for breaking:









The eyes that held all I needed to know:









Her last picture....Christmas angel peeking from behind her brother









Thank you all for looking.

And Lucy? Do NOT steal eveyone's tennis balls at the bridge! Seriously! Leave it!! I'm sure there are enough for everybody!!!

Love you always, my saucy meatball,

Mamma


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## SunCzarina (Nov 24, 2000)

Wonderful tribute to a beautiful lady. Run free, Lucy, run free.


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## kshort (Jun 4, 2004)

Oh, Jennifer, what a beautiful tribute... It's obvious how close your connection was with each other. I'm sorry for the loss of this beautiful girl. Why can't they be with us for longer???

I'm sure Lucy is giving them all a good run for the tennis balls. She'll be waiting, and watching over you, until you meet again...


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## Fee (Jul 4, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss! What an exceptional dog she was, a true Warriour queen and very beautiful too. She is immortalized in medical papers as is my dog. Her incredible will and bond with you kept her going. Thank you for sharing her story! 
RIP Lucy. You have my respect.
Hugs to Aik!


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

She sounds like an awesome friend.You gave her some great memories as well as her filling your heart with memories and love.


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## k9sarneko (Jan 31, 2007)

What incredible words for a very wonderful lady. Your love for this girl shines through as you paint a beautiful picture. I am so very sorry for your loss. 

Run free at the bridge beautiful Lucy


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## BucksMom (Aug 13, 2007)

All I can say is WOW!! 
What a great tribute!!!


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

Oh what a beautiful angel! I am so sorry you lost her.


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## littledmc17 (Apr 9, 2008)

that was an awesome tribute
she is beautiful and always will be.
i am so sorry for your loss, she will always be with you and protecting you!


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

What a wonderful tribute to your heartdog, Lucy. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my incredible heartdog, Massie, who I lost 9 years ago. and my goofy, sweet, troublemaker Basu who was felled by the same horrible disease 2 years ago. 

Thanks for sharing Lucy and your story. May you take comfort in all of the beautiful memories.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss, Lucy was a wonderful brave girl and it is obvious how much you loved her.

This hits close to home. My boy is battling hemangiosarcoma right now, we are 1.5 months post diagnosis. He had his third round of chemo last Wednesday. We are also going with the parallel holistic approach. We want to beat it too...

This is his thread
http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1021685&page=0&fpart=1

Run free Lucy...


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## sd3567 (May 16, 2005)

<span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'> </span> How very sad to lose such a beautiful friend. Her pictures show a truely happy girl with her owner and dog friend. I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Karin (Jan 4, 2008)

That was a beautiful tribute. You really brought Lucy to life with your words. I'm so sorry for your loss of such a sweet, special, and pretty girl. What a wonderful life she had with you and her brother. Rest in peace, Lucy.


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## lucymom (Jan 2, 2009)

Rebel--replying to you on your thread

Everyone, thank you for reading about Lucy. I want to honor her all I can. I know everyone has been there and it's not an easy place to be.

Aik is a sad, sad boy, even three months later. He's never been an only dog. He laid next to her after she passed--she would not tolerate his snuggling, it's the closest he ever got. For three weeks after that, he squished his big body in to her much smaller bed to sleep.

He had a major reaction to her ashes....I was shocked as I would think he could not "smell" her. He was in my car as I came out of the vet--I was bawling since being at that place triggered the whole thing again. I opened the box, he sniffed and his knees buckled and he collapsed against me, whining.

He stayed like that the whole way home--he would not get in to his usual place in the back seat, he leaned against me, head in my chest, moaning. It broke my heart. She was his best girl. No matter how naughty she was to him --she was a terrible tease---he just gazed at her with big, gooey-eyed love. He'd let her get away with everything. If any dog playing with her made her cry--they got a big Aik paw on their backs to teach them to be gentle with his sister.

I see in his eyes now... a lonely boy. We had a great little foster--Biscuit, but she was too reactive for him(whole other thread in "where are they now?")

He has really taken to some puppies at the beach of late, folks call him "Uncle Aik" as he's so gentle with everyone. We may be getting ready to get a puppy, I think our house could use a spicy little girl around again.

My best to all who have lost their babies.

Jennifer


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## poohbearsdad (Mar 24, 2008)

Jennifer

Such a beautiful tribute for Lucy. I was in tears as I've only lost Poohbear a month ago and I understand what your going through. I've spent time a month later watching her last track, watching her playfulness that I caught on my videophone. 

I showed a friend puppy pictures and she asked if that was the one I was going to get. My reply was that I only wish I could have that puppy - it was Poohbear as a pup. I miss her terribly and am hoping that another pup will be coming my way.

Wish you the best in your healing. Hopefully, I'll be able to put some of Poohbear's pix up soon.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

I read your moving poem and, now, Lucy's story and how much you both meant to each other and to Aik. Anyone lucky enough to have had a heart dog, can relate to some of what you have described so evocatively, but very few could describe it so well. 

Any relationship so powerfully strong will cause pain equally as strong when there is such a loss. However, experiencing that kind of relationship is well worth any pain that results. I have to say that I had to walk away from the screen, both while reading your tribute to Lucy and also some of the replies, as they brought back memories and feelings that are still very strong for me 6.5 years later.









Thank you for sharing Lucy's story and her special relationship with you.

RIP, Lucy.







You live on in Jennifer's words and in her heart.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful Lucy!!! Both of you were so fortunate that your lives came together.


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## ninhar (Mar 22, 2003)

What a beautiful tribute. I'm sorry for your loss.


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## rockhead (Jul 8, 2007)

Tears in eyes. Lump in throat. I know what you're going through.


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## kelso (Jan 22, 2007)

This is an amazing tribute to your amazing best friend, Lucy

Just beautiful, each picture and every word.

thank you for sharing this here

Love the part about the saucy meatball...sounds like the sortof nickname I give our dogs









Rest in Peace, Lucy...I have a feeling she is very closely watching over you..Hope you are healing as well


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## natalie559 (Feb 4, 2005)

What a beautiful story! I am so sorry for your deep loss. Having a relationship like that with an animal is priceless and immeasurable, what an experience. But with it such deep sorrow. May she rest in peace. And may you find peace.


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## marksmom3 (Dec 17, 2007)

I am sorry for your loss. Lucy was a gorgeous dog, and she didn't look her age at all! RIP Lucy.


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## Northof60 (Feb 15, 2009)

My heart cries for you. I am really saddened by your loss. What a stunning dog she was. We lost our beloved Kizzie to cancer in Oct and I still miss that precious dog.


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

Jennifer, I so feel for you. Lucy was beautiful and your life with her was beautiful as well. I know what you mean about her never wanting to be away from you. I have one too. Finally, I found a trainer who agreed with me. The bond is so strong. The pain is hard. I know your heart is sad, and I know I will deal with the very same thing one day. Years fly by so fast. Know that people are sending hugs to you. I know I am.


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