# Belle is gone and I am completely heartbroken



## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

I made the appt this morning and took her in to be put down. Although she was eating great for the last week because I pureed her food and she was peeing and pooping outside...her breathing got so bad. I didn't want to let go but...she was suffering. She was having a hard time trying to swallow her own saliva. She got so bad so quick. She started panting and having a hard time breathing. 

I know she was beginning to suffer and I know it was the best thing for her but....it doesn't make it any easier for me. I know that's horrible to say. I should be thinking positive because she was really getting bad but...I'm just so so SO sad right now. 

Belle was the best dog ever! I know just about everyone says that about their dog but really - she was the best there was. She never - EVER peed or pooped in the house, never chewed anything up...she was just perfect...even as a puppy - never got into any trouble at all!! I am just completely heartbroken.

I almost died as I drove away from the house and my husband, kids and Thor were standing at the door waving goodbye and Belle was just looking right at them as we pulled away. I got to the end of the block and almost turned around - I almost couldn't go through with it but then I heard her panting (or trying to pant) to get some air. 

I didn't have anyone to stay with the kids so my husband said he would take her to be put down but I am her security blanket. Any time things would get rough, she would come to me for comfort. I had to be there while she passed. The dr (the same one who put Zeus down) came out to my truck and put her down in the back (the same spot Zeus was put down). It was hard being by myself - I never had to put a dog down by myself before but...we were always together so I guess it was right that I was the one to be with her when she left us. This morning when I woke up she came up to me and snuggled with me and buried her head under my neck like she does every day. It was so hard knowing that would be the last time I would feel her warm fur snuggle up into my neck. I miss my snugglebug so much!!!! 

I was very nervous about something though. I had Zeus sedated before he was given the final shot...but with Belle - I couldn't. I was afraid she would suffocate before they gave her that final shot if they sedated her first. Her throat was closing up so much from that tumor... The dr said the animals are "aware" more of what's going on if they aren't sedated but she agreed, we couldn't sedate her. Belle's head was in my arms as the dr gave her the shot and I can tell that she kinda picked her head up and stopped panting as to say "wait a minute - what's going on". I was so upset that she was suffering or even more scared because we didn't sedate her first. She went peacefully though lying in my arms while I kissed her, scratched her ears and told her what a perfect dog she was and how much I loved her and how much I was going to miss her.

I snipped some hair off her tail and took that home with me and I took her collar too. On the way home I heard the tag from her collar. For a split second I forgot she was gone and looked in the back of the car to see her little head poping up. I looked at her collar and wanted to see if there was anything that would make the tag make that sound but nothing was against it - it didn't hit anything and the road I was driving on was flat. I picked up that collar and held it in my arms til I got home. I felt she was giving me a sign that she was on her way to The Bridge.

When I got home I let Thor sniff her collar...and I sniffed it too. It still smells like her. It was so hard leaving the house with her and coming home only with her collar. Now I see her empty bed, crate, dog bowls.....it's so sad yet I can't bring myself to take her stuff away. ....I feel like she'll be back to use it soon. 

When I got home holding Belle's collar my 4 year old was crying and upset so her and I went outside on my swing and we looked up in the sky to talk to Belle. Belle and I loved to sit on that swing together - it was our favorite time together. I am just completely heartbroken now and can't stop crying. 

I wonder if Belle has met up with her two brothers yet on The Bridge. I raised three dogs together - Skylar, Zeus and Belle. I used to love to watch the three of them playing together in the yard. It was so funny. My Three Stooges are together again. I guess Belle will spend Christmas with them instead of us. 

When I can stop these tears and can see clearly I'll post some pictures in the picture section.

RIP my Bellie Wellie - you are forever in my heart. I am going to miss my little snugglebug rubbing up against me every morning and night. I love and miss you VERY VERY much!!! xoxoxoxo


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## Kelly's Buddy (Nov 15, 2010)

I have no words but can only offer my sympathies for you and your family concerning your loss. :hug:

RIP Belle. Say hello to Sadie for me... :halogsd:


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## Wolfiesmom (Apr 10, 2010)

I am so very sorry for your loss. You did the right thing, letting her go> It was her time. You are very brave going yourself. I don't think that I could do that. Rest in peace and breathe free now Belle.


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## cassadee7 (Nov 26, 2009)

What a heartbreaking story. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sure she was giving you a sign she was on her way, happy and running free.


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## GSDBESTK9 (Mar 26, 2002)

I'm very sorry for your loss, I know now how hard making the decision is.


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## Sunstreaked (Oct 26, 2010)

I almost couldn't finish your post as I couldn't see to read through my tears. There are no words when we lose someone we love and I'm so glad Belle had someone like you to take the best care of her and do what she needed. My thoughts are with you and your family.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

There just aren't enough tears for a day like today- I had to take our last gsd Omy in by myself because my husband was on a business trip and as soon as we got there I was thinking I had made a big mistake- even though I knew otherwise. I miss her desperately and still haven't cried my last tear over her, maybe it helps to know that we've all gone through the same heartbreak. Belle put her life in your hands and trusted you to do the best for her and you did.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

I have no words except to say i am so sorry for your loss. I'm sitting here and crying with you. Its never easy to lose them but at least you were with her. She knew how much you loved her. I too believe her tags jingling was her sign to you that she's better now. Wish i could give you a real hug but i'll have to settle for a virtual one and know that you and your family are in my prayers. :hugs:

RIP Belle. :halogsd:


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## Zoeys mom (Jan 23, 2010)

I am crying snuggling with my two stooges now- my Zeus is at the bridge waiting for them. I can't imagine the day all are gone, replaced by new stooges, but not here with me. Belle is running free now breathing the fresh air and smiling down on you. Her Christmas reunion got an early start, and hopefully soon enough your void is filled with a new love


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## Dejavu (Nov 11, 2010)

I'm so so sorry for your loss. Your story broke my heart, you loved her so very much and you were so brave for her.

I'm also sure she was giving you a sign, and saying thank you for the wonderful life you lived together.

My thoughts and my heart go out to you. With tons of hugs.


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## Deuce (Oct 14, 2010)

Sorry for your loss.


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

:hugs:It was so hard to read your story. I am so sorry for your loss, it is never easy to put down a loved one. Bella is free from pain now and yours has only begun. Try to remember her and smile I am sure she would want it that way.


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## JustMeLeslie (Sep 15, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there before many times and it never gets easier. You know you did the right thing and she is not in pain anymore. You were there for her through everything and she was not alone that is what mattered most. You loved her and took care of her for her life. When I lose an animal I take pics of them and frame them and put their collar and tags on it. I put their favorite things/toys around it like a memorial when I look at that it makes me think of all the good times we had. Those memorials help me cope with losing them. It is a tribute to them.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Very sorry for your loss. Making that decision is so hard but you know you did the right thing.


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

Run fast and free at the Bridge sweet Belle. You were a lucky dog to have a mom who loved you so very much. 

Please know that you are in my thoughts and all five dogs here will be hugged a little harder and longer tonight in honor of your Belle.


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## rjvamp (Aug 23, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear you lost Bella. No words I can say will bring comfort I don't believe. You know you did the right thing by her. And while difficult, she is at peace. You know in your heart when it is time. Will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

RIP Bella.


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## Baersmama (Jun 15, 2010)

RIP Beautiful Belle. She is no longer suffering and I am sure your other angel babies were waiting to meet her at the rainbow bridge - and they are off running, all free of pain.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.


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## clearcreekranch (Mar 18, 2010)

RIP, Belle. We all feel your pain and there is not one of us here that has not gone through what you are going through now. It never gets easier and in fact, sometimes I feel that it is harder to let go. But I do know that we all have to suffer this loss when we have loved this great.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

:teary: I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts :hugs: Run free now sweet Bella.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

It's the day every dog/pet owner knows is coming at some point, but dreads the day it finally does come. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

i am so very very sorry


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## GSDAlphaMom (Jul 20, 2010)

So sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing Belle's story with us. It's a sorrow we all have to deal with but it's heartfelt knowing so many have wonderful lives before they are let go. I'm sure Belle and Zeus will work on sending you another at some point when you are ready.


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## Lesley1905 (Aug 25, 2010)

That is so heartbreaking, I'm crying with you! Belle is in no pain or stress anymore. You did the right thing. Hugs for you and your family, I'm so sorry for your loss!


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## 4dognight (Aug 14, 2006)

Belle is no longer struggling to breath. You were there for her till the end. She loved you as you loved her. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Belle.


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

Linda:

It took all my mental and emotional strength to get through your post, but I wanted to read through and hear you out. What an unbelievable day of heartrending pain. Yes, we who have been through it are left in tears along with you, but at the same time are relieved that your Belle is like an angel resting at peace.

Give yourself all the cries you need to and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers throughout this time when every glance at Belle's things at home is like one more jab in your heart, as if there is anything left to get jabbed when losing the most special dog in the world.


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you everyone... {{{hugs}}}

It is so difficult. SO difficult with her not here. I look in her bed (or Thor's bed - she liked to lay in Thor's bed since Thor ripped up her bed) and when I look there...she's not there. :-( I wish she was here so I could mix up her food for her, wipe her nose after she eats... I'm so sad without her. I know it was her time...if I let her stay a few more days with us she would have just suffered even more. I just wish she was healthy and back with us. I miss her so much already. Her health went down hill so fast. I can't get that last imagine of the vet tech carring Belle into after she passed on. I miss my little girl - I want to hug and kiss her soft, warm fur. :-(

Thank you all for helping me get through this. As most of you know - it's so difficult.
{{{Hugs}}}

I added some pictures on Facebook - does anyone know if I could put a link from Facebook on here so you guys could see the pictures?


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

bless your heart belle. rest in peace. 

i am so sorry for your loss.


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## CHawkins (Jul 12, 2010)

I am sorry....a very heart breaking story.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I am so sorry about Belle. It sounds like you and she had a special thing. The worst thing about dogs is that they do not stay with us long enough.


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## Rusty_212 (Apr 21, 2010)

So sorry for your loss, I pray that your pain won't last too long. You gave her a great life and that's about all you can do. I still miss my Nash everyday, but getting our new puppy in Sept. has helped.


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you! {{{hugs}}} I woke up this morning forgetting she was gone. Went to check on her and saw her collar laying next to me in bed. ... I went to sleep holding her collar last night. The mornings are the hardest. I am crying my eyes out. I just want her here with me. I have her collar resting on my shoulder, under my neck now - that's the spot she would always snuggle in. She would keep putting her face into my neck further and further and she'd just stay there so I could scratch the back of her neck.

I know she is around me - I feel her. I just so wish her furry little body was next to me. I know it was her time. I know she was giving me signs - and "the look". I did what was best for her - not me - and that's the way it should be but it's just so incrediably hard and painful. 

...my first morning without her. I would normally get up now and say come on Bellie Wellie, lets go out. She would get so excited when I called her Bellie Wellie - she'd come running with her ears all perky and her tail wagging. ....I miss her so much.

Thank you for listening to me babble. I don't think too many people really understand how I feel. It's like a thousand knives being stabbed into me and I keep wondering if I did something different maybe she'd be around loger. Maybe if I would have caught the tumor earlier, maybe we could have operated in it's early stages...so many things going through my head but....my little snugglebug is gone and it's just so heartbreaking. The night and the morning were our times together. The day was filled with work, school, kids, crazy Thor taking up most of my day but my little dainty Belle waited patiently til things calmed down every night and that was our snuggle time. 

...I'm sitting here just petting her collar that is lying on my shoulder/chest. I know I did the right thing for Belle but it's just so difficult to realize she's not here anymore.

I miss her so much....


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

BTW - if you look under my name, Belle is the little black dog lying on the couch with her head on the pillow. She's also the "baby" in my "Wedding photo" with my other 2 dogs that passed already too. Those are the three dogs I raised together, Skylar, Zeus and Belle ...they are all together again now at The Bridge. 

When I drove her to the vet yesterday morning for that last ride, we were listening to Christmas music - ...our last song together was "Please Come Home for Christmas". :-( She will be "Home" for Christmas...with her brothers on The Bridge. God I miss her so much...this is so painful...


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

i remember when i had to have my best friend Princess (cat) put to sleep, i wore her collar like a bracelet around my wrist for almost a year. I couldnt bring myself to put her pillow away and her blanket sits on a shelf with her ashes and collar now. I donated her bed. I couldnt stand the idea of another cat coming into my house and laying on it. I cry every time i check updates on this post. Its so hard. I too thought there was something more i could have done to keep her around longer. unfortunately they dont let us know something is wrong until its harder or impossible to do anything for them. You and you family remain in our prayers. You loved her. She knew that. she had a good life and you provided her a kind ending to this life and she's running free with your other babies at the bridge better and happy still and watching over you. sending hugs.


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## GSDLoverII (May 12, 2004)

I am so sorry Linda.
God Speed Belle.
:rip:


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so incredibly painful for us but in the end we love them enough to suffer the pain so they don't have to suffer any longer. I just put my beloved rabbit Oreo down on Fri. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And it all happened so quick, we just found the abcess on Mon and on Wed he stopped eating so I knew it was time. I stayed with him until he was completely sedated then left while the vet gave the final shot. I cried the entire time. 

Yesterday I broke down his cage and threw all of his things away. That was so sad to do and now there is an empty spot in my living room where he used to live. I still have his Christmas stocking hanging up because I can't bring myself to take it down.

Oreo didn't have any brothers or sisters to meet him at the bridge so maybe your Belle can be friends with him. I hate the thought of him being lonely there.


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## GSDOWNED (Mar 16, 2010)

I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you as I've been the same place you are. It's the hardest thing in the world to do. {{{Hugs}}}


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm sure my Belle made friends with your Oreo - she loved everything and everyone!! I think The Rainbow Bridge with a place with lots of friends and lots of all the wonderful things in the world. Our furbabies are having a great time until they see us again.

I have to keep thinking positive like this because right now, I'm completely dying inside. I feel like the worst doggie mom ever! Today, my first day without my Bellie, was so SO difficult. She loved her crate so much - it was killing me every time I walked past it so I cleaned it up, folded it and put it away. I washed her bed (she peed on it a little after she passed) and I washed her other blankets. Later when the kids went to bed Thor (my recently adopted GSD from the rescue - he's been with us for about 6 months) he laid RIGHT in the spot that Belle's crate used to be. :-( I felt so horrible .... I didn't give him time to grieve. He is missing her and I just took her crate away for my own selfish reasons and didn't even think about him. I was thinking of taking her crate back out but then I didn't want the kids to see it in the morning and think Belle was back. So, Belle's bed that I washed - I put that were her crate used to be and he laid on it right away. 

After a little while Thor got up and since the kids were in bed and the house was quiet and dark - I laid on Belle's bed...and cried and cried. I put my head on the last spot she had her head as I held her in my arms as she left me. I was "petting" the spot where she laid her head to rest as she passed. I kept thinking to myself maybe I could have had a little more time with her, even just a few more days. My husband thought I was going to come back home with Belle and not go through with putting her down. He knows how much my dogs mean to me ...and I almost did turn around and go back home. Then I heard her panting and trying to breath - she couldn't even swallow her own saliva anymore and when she tried to yawn ... she couldn't even do that for the last week or so. That tumor just got so big. I keep thinking if I caught it earlier maybe the meds would have had time to work or we could have done surgery. She just turned 11 - she could have had some more years with us. But the vet said that she wouldn't even be able to get a tube down her throat to knock her out for surgery. I'm beating myself up for not catching it earlier. .....Tissue break - I can't see the computer....

Most of you know how I'm feeling. It's just so hard. I wish I didn't lose Zeus and Belle so close together. I adopted Belle about 6 months before Zeus and now I lost her about 6 months after Zeus. They had 11 years - 11 happy years, together. I know I shouldn't be so sad and upset because if I kept her here she would be suffering so much. I am just so sad. She was such a good girl and she was MY dog. It was always her and I. She would get excited when my husband would get home from work and perk her ears up and run and greet him when I would say "Daddy's home" but she was always with me. If it was loud in the house, she'd come to me for comfort. 

....I know most of you know how I feel...you've been in this same position. I'm sorry - I'm just babbling.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

you cant blame yourself. She had a wonderful life with you. The tumor grew so fast so quick, i dont think there would have been much that really could have been done. God gave you time to love her and kiss her and hold her. I'm a firm believer that when they go, they have another planned for us down the road to help ease the pain of their loss. Belle knew you loved her more than anything and she loved you. It was her time. I know its not easy. It never is. And it never gets easier. They never have enough time with us. I do think they'd rather go before us, that us go before them. Who else is going to be there, tails wagging full force waiting for us to show us around? She's watching over you. and she'll be up there waiting for you to join her when its time. You did the most unselfish thing for her you could have possibly done. When she needed your love the most, you gave it without a second thought and helped ease her pain. 

_Dear god,_
_Please help Belle watch over her mom until its time for them to meet again. And please lend your strength to Linda in this time of sorrow, help her grieve and cry and to remember all of the good times she had with Belle and help ease her pain of losing her best friend. Please send good dreams when she sleeps and rainbows in Belle's honor so her mom, who loves her so very much, knows that she's okay and happy and healthy and no longer in pain. Please surround Linda in your warmth when she needs it most. please help her family through this trying time as well, including Thor, who has also lost a friend. _

_Amen_


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you much!! {{{Hugs}}} I really needed that!


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Linda,

Please do not apologise for expressing how you feel :hugs: We are all here for you and perhaps writing here may help ease a tiny part of your pain. I am thinking of you.


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## Sashmom (Jun 5, 2002)

Im so sorry for your loss I can tell you are having a hard time/ its so hard when you lose them. The only thing that made me feel better was when he got older I told myself I will spoil Sashi because I dont know how much longer I will have him and I did. I think it sounds like Belle had a wonderful life and maybe that will console you. I gues we hate it but we have to face the fact we cant have them forever. I know that "its not real" thing. The first AM after Sashi was gone I walked into the living room and thought oh there he is (he always slept on the sofa) and then had to remind myself he was gone I left his food dishes down for 6 mo I couldnt even bring myself to pick hem up. 
God bless you Linda, you seem like such a loving Mother to your kids and dogs. Ive enjoyed their pics over the yrs.


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## Stogey (Jun 29, 2010)

So, so sorry for your loss ! Run free and painless Belle ! Say hello to Charlie and Max for me ... :hug:


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you everyone! I wish I could give you all a big hug! It's been such a very difficult day. And I know it will only get worse before it get's better. Lots of you know how I love to take pictures of my kids and furkids...well this Christmas I brought cute little outfits for Belle and Thor to wear for our family Christmas card. .... I'm so sad Belle won't be here to wear hers. The kids have been asking to set up the tree - so we did that when I got home from work tonight. For the last 11 years Belle has been by my side while we set it up... - it was a hard night. This is all I can muster up right now. It's a very sad time in our house. ... Thank you for your support. {{{hug}}}


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## Andaka (Jun 29, 2003)

So sorry for your loss. Tag will be glad to show her around. He always did like the girls.


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## London's Mom (Aug 19, 2009)

so so sorry for your loss. it takes so long to get over the loss of your dog. i still cry over minerva. but they say each day that you are apart from your departed dog is one day closer to when you will see her again.
my thoughts go out to you.


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## Kris10 (Aug 26, 2010)

So sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is-but I truly believe you will see her again some day--


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## chicagojosh (Jun 22, 2010)

im so sorry Belle is gone 

stay strong


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## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

I'm so sorry. Ugh. Pulling out of the driveway is ... _heartbreaking_ isn't even the word. I, too, have clipped hair from my dogs before I let them go. 
Thank God time exists to help heal the awful pain of losing our precious friends.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I am deeply saddened by your loss. Tonight, Hondo will receive extra love and a few special treats in honor of your Belle. I'll whisper her name into his ear and tell him how very lucky Belle was to find so much love in her life.


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

Linda:

Tomorrow will be the one week anniversary of Belle's passing. I don't know why, but this can be very painful. The one week anniversary. Then, the one month anniversary. Then the two month anniversary. The Christmas gathering without her will be especially heartbreaking. "Last Christmas, we gave her ...." "Last year, who would have known it would be her last Christmas with us ...."

I hope and pray that she visits you in your dreams, where her pretty eyes and soft fur will give you a passing comfort. In the meantime, I pray that you feel some comfort from the joy she brought you. I don't imagine you will feel like being too happy this Christmas without her, but remember that she is enjoying now her eternal Christmas.


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you all so much!! You are heaven sent! I can not tell you what it means to me to have people that understand. I have wonderful family and great friends but...they don't understand what it's like. It takes special people to really - REALLY understand what it's like to lose your dog - and to me...my dogs are part of my family. It's a horrible grieving time. And Caliboy - you are so right. The one day - one week - one month, etc... points are so hard. Yesterday I was "talking to Belle" and said - last week at this time you were still here. Then the exact time came that I put her down and the pain started over again. It's just so SO hard. Sometimes I really wish I could be like other people where it doesn't effect them so much when they lose their pet. Sometimes I think something must be wrong with me because I hurt so much. Then I realized that, I wouldn't be the real me if I didn't hurt so much. I hurt so much because that's how much I love them. Not many understand but I'm so glad you guys do.

Before I put her down I would say things like ...the last time I brush my teeth with her, the last time I put my shoes on with her, the last time I get in the car with her, etc... And after she was gone I would do the same thing - it was all the first time's without her being here. 

Yesterday - on her one week anniversary at The Bridge - we took the kids and Thor to get their Christmas picture taken at the GSD rescue. So sooooo sad without my Bellie Wellie. :-( I've been so upset and it's been really hard here in the house and I don't want the kids to see how much I'm hurting so we've decided to take them to SeaWorld today. We have those annual passes so we are there all the time but now with their Christmas stuff out...well - it will be hard. It will also be our first time (see - there I go with the "first times" again) but...it will be our first time not bringing Belle. We always bring the dogs because they have kennels there and we'd go and walk the dogs a few times a day while we were there. Thor will have to be in his own kennel today, without Belle. 

Thor has been - incrediably SOOOOO sad. I've never seen a dog grieve so hard. I could tell my other dogs were sad when my past furbabies had to leave, etc...but Thor...he's been very sad and just so calm and he'll sit next to me and put his paw on me and cry. It makes me even sadder. I didn't think Thor would be so upset. We adopted him about 6 months ago, after we lost our Zeus, so I didn't think he and Belle really bonded yet but...they sure did. He loved her and is missing her a lot. 

Thank you all for your support during this difficult time. It's always hard losing a pet but to have her gone during my favorite, most family orianted time of year, is a little harder. I haven't slept well in the last 2 weeks. I've been exhausted but haven't been able to sleep. She was just the most perfect little snugglebug ever and I miss her so much! ..... Why aren't they here longer with us?! :-( 

{{{Hugs to you all!}}}


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## Bridget (Apr 5, 2004)

I am so sorry for your pain. She was a wonderful dog and you gave her a wonderful life. She will watch over you until you meet again.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Linda, 
Just stopping in to say I am thinking of you and hope you are doing OK :hugs:


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## momto3k9s (Mar 2, 2005)

Thank you so much guys! {{{hugs}}} Yet another tough day...I got her ashes back today. She's sitting on my lap now as I type this. Many of you know how I'm feeling today - you know that feeling when you get their ashes back. It's like it hits you all over again, with a twist this time. But at the same time it brings some completeness - she's back home. It's unbelievably heartbreaking to lose the 2 dogs I've had the longest, all around the same time. I think I said this before...I adopted Belle about 6 months before I adopted Zeus and now I've lost her about 6 months after I lost Zeus. She will be placed in my bedroom with her other brothers, with whom she's running around the Bridge now. Christmas decorating, taking Christmas pictures...all without Zeus and Belle is very difficult...it almost doesn't seem real. 

I get upset, I get sad, I get tired, I get mad because I can not believe my dog who I was cuddling with a short while ago is now in a tiny box next to me... It just doesn't seem fair. Most of you know how I'm feeling. She was so sweet, so cute, so danity, so cuddly, so calm, so much of a snuggler...and now she's so gone. I know it's just the stages of grieving that I'm going through. 

Thank you for being there for me. {{{hugs}}}


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## jagsir (Oct 19, 2010)

AWW MAN. I FEEL SO SORRY. IT MUST HAVE FELT HORRIBLE.


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

Linda:

There is something very unfair about the suffering and death of a beloved furbaby. At times I would just start sobbing at home and yelling, "why? why? why? I just don't understand why?" It's that old question, "why are there evil people still alive and enjoying their time on earth, and my baby had to suffer and die so soon???" You're right, it is a stage of grief. It is the question that none of us can answer. I personally believe in a good God who will reveal all things one day, and only then will I have full understanding. Until then, I just trust that my furbaby is in good Hands, at rest, and looking down peacefully, with no more suffering.

I'm glad you are checking in and realizing that even folks who don't know what to say and post are still reading and sending up loving thoughts or prayers for you to be consoled. One of the worse things, the very worse, is that when we are grieving that special furbaby (and you are suffering a double whammy!), most people do not understand. 

We have to suffer often in silence, in solitude, because unless a person has had that kind of angel come into your life all wrapped in fur and steal your heart like only an angel can, they won't get it and don't get it. If you try to explain it to people, they either look at you weird or think you are exagerrated in your grief over "just a dog." But as you know, the grief is real, it is horrifying. Having Belle's ashes, I hope, will start to bring back more and more of the great memories that she will use to warm your heart again, and also Thor's broken heart.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Linda, 
I think you are right about the stages but that does not make it any easier for you. Please look after yourself :hugs: And know that Belle is still with you forever in your heart and soul. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


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