# Was hoping it got easier



## Marissa (Dec 31, 2009)

This may not be the place to post this but here goes

I lost my ex boyfriend almost 1 year ago. I've done a very good job of trying to not think of him to help get through things (I know I know, not necessarily the approprite grieving process but its how I do things). 

Today I was reminded very strongly that you are gone and I miss you very much. 

I always loved animals, dogs especially but it was you that made me love and care about my shepherds so much. I would have never been able to have one growing up. My mom was "attacked" by one and was always terrified (although its great to see her now with our shepherd mix Chase and my boy Izaak). I cant imagine ever having a different breed... I wish you could have met Izaak..you would love him so much. He is exactly what you wanted when we talked about getting our shepherd together. I hate that it has almost been a year since you've been gone. Its not the same with out you and everything reminds me of you. It makes me hate this city. Its not right that you were cheated so young and I hate that the person that ended your life has yet to see any reprocussions. I miss you so much and I wish that this anniversary was ours and not of your death. RIP Jesse. I will never forget you


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

i'm sorry for your loss.:hugs:


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

That is so sad! I am so sorry for your loss, I couldn't even imagine how that feels.


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## GSDBESTK9 (Mar 26, 2002)

Very sorry.


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## CaseysGSD (Oct 15, 2010)

I am so very sorry for your loss, I'm sure he is watching over you.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Nothing else to say, but I'm so sorry. I know how those feelings of loss just overwhelm at times, seems to come in waves- and usually when you least expect it.


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## ahazra (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm sorry for your loss. Time heals..that's what they say !


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## mssandslinger (Sep 21, 2010)

sorry for your loss!!


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## MrsMiaW (Sep 25, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. 

I would say it becomes different over time, not necessarily easier. I lost my Mother-in-law 6 years ago this past October. Her death was unexpected and threw the whole family into turmoil for almost 2 years. I was very close to my MIL and when my first child was born a year after her death, I felt both profound sadness and anger that she would never meet her granddaughter and my daughter would never have to opportunity to know my husband's mother. When my son was born 2 years later, the emotions were not the same, I was still sad, but it was not to the same level. 

Everyone's grief is different and everyone's timeline is different, but it will change. Unfortunately, I think many of us look for that 1 year mark as the time where it will all feel ok. I know I got caught up in that line of thinking. After a year it wasn't easier, but with more time it will change. Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through.


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## Marissa (Dec 31, 2009)

Thanks everyone, it was kind of one of those nights where I just had to write my feelings down or I was going to implode!! (and a few glasses of wine didnt' help any thats for sure).

He was killed in a car accident last year by some idiot who crossed the median. They said that he never even slowed down when he hit him. They didn't find any evidence of alcohol but did test postive for marijuana. I hate this guy...and he still isn't in jail!!! How does that even happen, people go to jail for stupid things all the time but if you kill someone?? The day after the accident he had to appear in court for a DUI charge that happened the month before...he obviously is an amazing individual. It just makes me so sad


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

Marissa:

What a heart breaking story. I also don't understand how someone could take your ex-boyfriend's life and still not be in jail. Although his passing has left a huge gaping hole in your heart, I hope and pray that he visits you often in your memories and helps you to hold onto the funnest times.

My experience with grief is that Mrs. Mia is right. At first it is just too much to bear, especially on the anniversaries. But the time passing does help to heal, and gives us the chance to remember that thanks to that loved one, we can go on (e.g. and love the fur babies) with strength and courage. May he rest in peace.


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

I am so sorry you must bear this burden. May time bring you peace.


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