# My Cody is gone



## sobstocks (Aug 3, 2008)

I miss him so much my heart is broken and my guilt is overpowering. He was my best friend and I let him down. 
He was a 12 yr old german shepherd beauty who loved me dearly. He had freak accident late sunday night slipping off a couch and severly breaking his rear leg feamer, he was in so much pain. We went to the emergency vet and had xrays and pain injection that revealed the severity of the break.
The next day my regular vet looked at the xrays and contacted a surgeon said he needed surgury right away. 
It was so much money just over $3000. I had the money but I'm unemployed. 
He was put to sleep as I held him in my arms at home.
I hate myself.


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## RogueRed26 (Jul 15, 2010)

Sorry for your loss.


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Oh I'm so sorry. You can't blame yourself. Your dog lived a very long happy life thanks to you.


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## emsoskar (Oct 17, 2008)

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so hard when we lose a beloved family member. Just cherish the time you had and know that you gave him a wonderful life!!


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

dont hate yourself. sometimes bad things happen. You had to make the decision which for ALL of us is a hard one to make. He was 12 years old. I'm sure he had a good long life with you. You said it yourself. It was a freak accident. There is the chance that had you chosen to get the surgery done, he may not have made it through. Its a hard truth. You're unemployed. You did the best you could for him given the circumstances. You were able to be with him when he went. Some people dont have that opportunity. You loved him. Sometimes we have to make some very hard choices. Sadly the choice to put one of our best friends to sleep to end suffering or ease their way is and will always be one of the hardest. Cry, be mad, but know you did what you had to do and could do. :hugs:


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## HeidiW (Apr 9, 2009)

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!! Accidents happen, you gave him a wonderful life I am sure as he was on your coach. Please don't hate yourself.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

I am so, so very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my best friend to a freak accident as well. What you are going through can't be expressed in words. :hugs: Run free, sweet Cody. :halogsd:


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## AEA (Sep 17, 2010)

I am sorry for your loss. Many of us here have the possibility of having to make that choice one day. I do not look forward to it and hope that it never happens to me and Brandy.

Stay cool, things will get better. I know you don't think so right now, but hang in there.

Possibly a rescue in the cards for the future? It would help you with your loss and save a doomed dog.


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. 12 years is a wonderfully long life for a GSD and I am sure you cherished him every minute you were with him and he felt your love as he slipped over to the other side where he is running free, pain free, waiting for you.


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## Betty (Aug 11, 2002)

I am so very sorry, but not even considering the money I do not think I would put a 12 year old dog through surgery.

I really think the decision you made for you Cody was the kindest one and was truly your final gift to him.


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## CHawkins (Jul 12, 2010)

I am sorry for your loss and feel your pain.


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## Stogey (Jun 29, 2010)

There's no need to hate yourself. As most everyone has said "freak accidents happen" and given his age, was the right decision for both of you. 
Run long and free Cody


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

Oh please do not hate yourself (easier said than done). You had to make the best choice for Cody and yourself. As said he may not have made it thru the surgery and if he did it may have been very difficult for him at his age. Such a severe break from such a short fall, maybe he already had some unknown problems.

You gave him the best life possible and he loves you for it. :hugs:


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

Betty said:


> I am so very sorry, but not even considering the money I do not think I would put a 12 year old dog through surgery.
> 
> I really think the decision you made for you Cody was the kindest one and was truly your final gift to him.


I agree 100%. Please try not to feel guilty even though that is a normal feeling. Most of us here have had to make that decision for our beloved pets and there is always regret and wondering if we could have done better.


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## MikeyMerciless (Jan 15, 2011)

:halogsd: R.I.P. Cody! I'm sure Cody was one happy dog! :halogsd:


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## CassandGunnar (Jan 3, 2011)

So sorry for your loss. Even though it's difficult, please try and think about what you did FOR him over 12 years and not what happened at the end. I agree that at 12, major surgery like that may not have been the best thing for him.
Try and picture him now, waiting at The Bridge......no broken leg or the normal aches and pains of a 12 year old dog, waiting to give you a big hug.


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## jkscandi50 (Nov 17, 2010)

So sorry for your loss.


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## MikeyMerciless (Jan 15, 2011)

And just to let you know, you did the right thing. It was his time, and you didn't prolong his pain. You're unemployed, you need the money you have right now. He was 12, he would have been in pain whether you went for the surgery or not. He was in his later years, the arthritis would have been ridiculous. You wouldn't wish that upon your best friend. You let him go before the bigger pain would have started. He lived a long, happy life. 

Again, may he rest in peace.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. You really shouldn't blame yourself. At 12 years old, you have to weigh the recovery prognosis, how your dog would handle the surgery, etc. Sometimes, even though it doesn't feel that way, the best thing to do FOR THEM, is to let them go. I think you made the right decision for your boy.


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## Wolfiesmom (Apr 10, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss! Even without thinking of the money situation I think you did what's best for him. He was 12 and that would be a painful thing for the poor old guy to go through.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

It is very difficult to decide on what is best for our much loved pets when it comes to making the choice between life and death. You have made the best decision you could and all feel that it was the correct one to make. I wouldn't second guess what you decided as it is now in the past. Try to think of what you can do today to remember the impact the joy his life made on yours and you made on his. And what you can do in the future to share that joy in another dog's life. 

Hugs to you.


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## GROVEBEAUTY (Oct 23, 2008)

I'm sooo sorry, I understand. Just believe he is in a better place and you gave him a great home in the time you had him. I just lost two dogs also, so I understand the pain you are feeling.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

Don't hate yourself. You did the right thing for him. The surgery may have prolonged his life, if he made it through the surgery, but it would not have made it better. At least his last days on this earth were happy ones that he got to enjoy with you. That's the best thing you could have given him. 

I give you my condolences.


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## chicagojosh (Jun 22, 2010)

im so sorry to hear about Cody!!! it's not your fault though. He was 12 and lived a LONG life especially for a GSD. even if you spent the 3 grand he wouldnt have much longer due to his age. remember all the good times you had together, and you did NOT let me down, don't feel guilty. he knows his mama loves him


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## Roxygsd (Sep 8, 2010)

Don't hate yourself. My husband and I had a similiar decision to make. Our mixed gsd was 12 1/2 years, a diabetic and had a 90% chance that a lump found on her spleen was cancerous and was causing her severe stomach pain. Our vet said not only did she have to survive the surgery but the recovery as well. Cherish the time you had with your gsd.


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## 1sttimeforgsd (Jul 29, 2010)

Will be sending prayer's your way that you can deal with your loss of Cody and not blame yourself so much. Even though you miss him dearly, the accident was not your fault and he is whole and free and in a better place.


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## Lora (Jan 7, 2011)

So terribly sorry, you did what was best for Cody! What a wonderful life he had in being able to share it with you! All the best to you, again so deeply sorry!


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## cindy_s (Jun 14, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with everyone else. Don't hate yourself. Surgery and rehab on a 12 yr old would have been too much for him. You did the best thing you could have for him.


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## stacey_eight (Sep 20, 2010)

Please don't hate yourself. You did the best you could for your sweet Cody. He certainly wouldn't want you beating yourself up over this.

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## GSDOWNED (Mar 16, 2010)

I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. Accidents happen. That's a lot of money for someone who is unemployed too. Dogs of that age can also have problems with anesthesia. Cody will be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge. He's at peace and in pain no more.:hugs:


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## sobstocks (Aug 3, 2008)

My wife and I sat and read and all the posts today mixed with tears but not so much regret thanks to all of you. I want to thank all of you for your kind and supportive words. 
And when were ready I hope another Cody enters our lives as fate brought him to us as a 4 month old stray and changed our lifes.


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## StryderPup (May 16, 2009)

I am so sorry for you loss..please do not blame yourself. We went through a similar situation a year and a half ago, our 12 yr old sheltie mix developed a huge lump on his rear, we rushed to the e-vet and they said he had a hernia and extremely enlarged prostate. We went to our regular vet and an animal hospital and it was going to cost $5k for surgery, we couldn't afford it nor were we sure he would make it. We cried all the way home and decided the next day we would have him euthanized. I felt like such a jerk afterward, but I knew it was right.... my heart goes out to you and your family.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

years ago, my boy nick (age 9), fell while playing ball and broke his front leg. i couldn't figure out how such a small fall could do so much damage. in surgery it was found that his whole shoulder was full of cancer, the shattered foreleg was not fixable. i was lucky in a way that the decision was taken out of my hands, but unlucky in a way because i didn't get to say good-bye or hold him. 

i am so sorry for your loss and am glad to read that the words in these posts have had meaning for you, because even tho i am usually against telling people what they should and shouldn't do...you definitely should not blame or hate yourself for anything having to do with this situation. it is just so incredibly painful because these dogs are so incredibly special.

take good care. lots of good thoughts are with you.


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## Tara (Nov 25, 2010)

** comment removed by Admin. Unfeeling and rude*****


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

tara i am not a moderator here but i've been here for a while and i would like to say in the politist way i possibly can:

you are entitled to your opinion but you are way out of line. there are many shades of gray in the combination of black and white. i also expect that you are very young and will learn many lessons as you grow.


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## KJandBravo (Mar 5, 2007)

Tara said:


> ** removed by Admin*


How old are you, 16? You're an incredibly selfish human being if you think elderly dogs should be saved at all costs. That is pure selfishness on our parts because we can't handle saying goodbye. We have the choice if we want to put ourselves through painful surgery or medical treatment just to salvage a bit more time; dogs have no such choice and rely on us to do what we feel is best. If you can't stop being judgmental, at least keep it to yourself.

I've already made the decision that our 12-year-old will receive no painful heroics. He will be put down if/when his quality of life cannot be naturally maintained without suffering.


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## Tara (Nov 25, 2010)

Sorry if I was rude , no I am not 16 either I am 19 and I'm not immature in any way I have had 5 dogs of my own and I have my own business. But more to the point no matter how old the dog is , really 3000 dollars is nothing to be honest you could make that back if you really loved your dog and had some more years with him! I know I would give my last penny to save my puppy and I would struggle by to see her by my side every day!

Again , sorry for being rude. Just giving my opinion.

Sorry for your loss.


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## Betty (Aug 11, 2002)

Tara,
If you know anything about German Shepherds you will know that 12 is a very very Senior Dog. 

To put a 12 year old dog through the pain and agony of surgery, and to most likely have their final months spent in recovery is in my opinion a very selfish act.

I have never regretted releasing a dog too early, there have been occasions when I have done it too late and my beloved animal paid the price for my selfishness.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

Tara i dont agree. Their Cody was 12 years old. He suffered a short fall and was most likely in an immense amount of pain. $3000 is a great deal of money when you're unemployed and thats not including followup visits and rehab costs. Yes, you're 19 years old, but that doesnt mean you fully understand how things are for others. For you it may not seem like so much but for a the owners its a great deal of money. Not to mention there is a fine line between being loving and being selfish when it comes to a 12 year old dog. Selfish is putting the dog through surgery at that age with the very likely possibility the dog may not even wake up from the table. Selfish is also forcing a dog who is probably arthritic already to endure recovery from surgery which will only increase the arthritus and then forcing them through rehab to HOPEFULLY get the strength back in that injured limb. There comes a point for an older dog that you have to be loving and try to look to the future and imagine what it would be like for the animal. Often times you're forcing the animal to suffer more when it wouldnt be necessary. Cody lived a long and happy life and was obviously loved. Its NEVER easy letting one of our fur friends go but sometimes, you have the make that horribly painful choice. I know how hard it can be. I was 14 when i made the decision to have my best friend put to sleep because she just wasnt getting better no matter what we did and i couldnt stand watching her suffer any more. I loved her so much, i let her go so she wouldnt be in pain anymore. I hand fed her using a tube. I bathed her daily. I skipped school to take care of her. I watched my best friend from the time i was 5 wither away because she just kept getting sick and finally cancer won. My best friend wasnt a dog but a cat. Species doesnt matter though because you love them so much. They're family. They're your best friend in the whole world. You let them go because its the best you can do for them sometimes. And sometimes you have to make the choice to let them go because you have to also do whats best for all involved. In these instances, sometimes you need to be compassionate and keep certain opinions to yourself.


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## Tara (Nov 25, 2010)

I would give the dog a last chance , I have seen German shepherds live to 18! And die of old age, no hip problems or any problems at all. So that's changed my point of view ( partly the reason for me getting one) now I will always have one by my side. Maybe not my puppy I have now but awel I hope she lives a long life.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

$3,000 can be a lot, depending on your situation. It would be a lot for me. High school student working part time. I bet it's a lot for the OP, who stated that s/he is unemployed. 

I wouldn't put a 12 year old dog, especially a GSD, through a surgery like that. For one, the dog may not survive the surgery. For two, why would you want your dogs last days to be spent in painful recovery? You're entitled to your opinion, but I don't know why you would prefer to have you dog on this earth longer if it just meant pain for him or her. 

I think that human euthanasia should be an option. It's sad that animals have the option to pass on with more dignity than some people.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

Tara said:


> I would give the dog a last chance , I have seen German shepherds live to 18! And die of old age, no hip problems or any problems at all. So that's changed my point of view ( partly the reason for me getting one) now I will always have one by my side. Maybe not my puppy I have now but awel I hope she lives a long life.


You can't apply what you have seen to all cases. Just because 'you've seen it' doesn't mean every dog will conform to it.


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## Betty (Aug 11, 2002)

Tara said:


> I would give the dog a last chance , I have seen German shepherds live to 18! And die of old age, no hip problems or any problems at all. So that's changed my point of view ( partly the reason for me getting one) now I will always have one by my side. Maybe not my puppy I have now but awel I hope she lives a long life.



Very few live to 18. I don't know of one off hand.

There are plenty of people that live to 100, that does not mean 89 is spry and healthy.

So you would of had the surgery and most likely your dog would not live to 18 and it's last few months would be full of pain, IF he survived surgery. That's your decision. But if you ever make that decision and regret it, I hope no one beats you up afterward when you are mourning and already beating yourself up.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

sobstocks said:


> I miss him so much my heart is broken and my guilt is overpowering. He was my best friend and I let him down.
> He was a 12 yr old german shepherd beauty who loved me dearly. He had freak accident late sunday night slipping off a couch and severly breaking his rear leg feamer, he was in so much pain. We went to the emergency vet and had xrays and pain injection that revealed the severity of the break.
> The next day my regular vet looked at the xrays and contacted a surgeon said he needed surgury right away.
> It was so much money just over $3000. I had the money but I'm unemployed.
> ...


Oh my, don't hate yourself, the boy was twelve years old and had a great life.

Putting an old dog like that through a major surgery is not without risks, pain, and may not even have a good prognosis. 

I know we would all want to say we would not feel awful if the dog made it through the surgery and died a week later. 

Sometimes the kindest thing to do for a creature we love is to end the suffering, and let him painlessly pass into what comes after.

I do not think you let him down. I think you made an unselfish decision for an elderly pet. Using astronomical measures to keep a creature going is not always in their best interests.

I am sorry for your loss, but you did what was right. 

My friend had an eleven year old dog. It had bad hips, needed a surgery. It was her house dog. She loved the dog. She had the surgery done on the dogs hips. A week later, the dog had its first siezure. The siezures came hard and fast, and meds were not helping. She ended up having to put the dog down because of the siezures.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I think that a responsible vet would not try to rush a 12 year old dog into a surgery like this. They should spell out the options, and explain the pros and the cons. 

I think that ultimately, it is a choice that we the owners have to make for our dogs. I generally ask my vet what he would do if it was his dog. And I am fortunate to have a vet who does not encourage surgeries for every situation.


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## Larien (Sep 26, 2010)

I'm really, really sorry about your loss. Please do not feel guilty, because you did what was right and what was necessary. I do the same thing, I ask my vet what he would do. When I rushed my 8 year old Great Dane to the ER in August with bloat, surgery was an option, and it would have cost 5,000 dollars. Even if it had cost 10 I would have done it if it would have saved him, but the vet said that with his heart condition, he would not have survived. He said if it were his dog, he'd end it. We did, and my heart will be broken forever.

I wrestled with the guilt, too - "what if I'd tried it anyway, what if there was a chance..." But he was suffering.... The pain of bloat is so great, as is a femur break - I know because my mother broke hers.

Yep, my mom broke her femur in 2006. Four years have gone by, and each year she had to have ANOTHER surgery on it, because it did not heal. Each time was excrutiating pain and recovery, more hardware and screws and plates, devastating to watch her suffer so greatly. She would be bedridden for months, unable to walk at all...

So it is my utmost belief that you saved your dog. Saved him from pain, anguish, and suffering. At his age, that injury would have been so hard on him. He would have been in so much pain, for so long, and the surgery is so hard, for an aging dog, I'm not sure he would have made it through. Recovery would have been terrible for him, and worse for you to watch, but now... now he is free, now he is not in pain, he is not suffering, and he is watching over you, and waiting for you to meet him at the bridge. And he will run to you like he did when he was young and in his prime, and you will hold him again. Until then, hold him in your heart and don't let go - he will always be there, and he knows that you helped him. You absolutely did not let him down - you gave him the last great gift you could give him, a beautiful death in the arms of his most beloved person, hearing how much he was loved. I can't imagine a better way to leave this world.

I hope your heart can heal in the future... Please know that you are not alone, many of us have experienced the same loss and the same pain. It does get better. And when you least expect it, new love wanders into your heart. Sometimes sent to us by the ones we lost to comfort us, I like to think.


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

I am so very sad to read about the loss of your beloved Cody, and that some of your last memories of him were to see him in pain and suffering. It is a normal reaction with grief to hate yourself for not doing more. That only shows the intensity of your love for Cody and the intensity of his love for you. Take comfort in the friendship and prayers that come your way from the posters and even the lurkers who are fellow pilgrims in the grief of losing a fur baby. 

When the cold chill of winter thaws and spring begins to warm things, I pray that Cody will visit you often in your memories and remind you over and over that it wasn't always pain--that was just the last episode as he was going home. The fun times and joy that those memories bring to you will dry some of the tears and the sorrow will begin to be bearable.

Again, my heartfelt condolences. It must be so lonely and dark in the house without your beloved baby. But as you have said, someday, when another fur baby comes to your home and revives your spirit, you will know that Cody has sent a gift to let you know he is all right.


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## London's Mom (Aug 19, 2009)

You did the best for Cody. Please don't feel guilty. As everyone has mentioned, to put a dog through a tough surgical procedure at the Golden Age of 10 would not be easy.


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## holland (Jan 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry-hope that you don't hate yourself-my dog went through surgery at 12 he didn't survive it


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## pyratemom (Jan 10, 2011)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. We have all had to make that decision, more than once. It never gets easier. The pain will get easier as time passes and you will be able to know that you gave him a good life and did everything you were able to do to make his passing easier. You were with him and that is the best thing you could have done. He will be waiting on the other side of the bridge.


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## TED MEYER (Jan 22, 2011)

Hello, can't imagine how you feel. This forum does help though. Twelve is good. Remember all you can.


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## TED MEYER (Jan 22, 2011)

Hello i can't imagine how you feel. This forum helps though. Twelve was a long life. Remember all those fun days.


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## patti (Apr 7, 2010)

Don't hate yourself. Things like that happen with pets and people, and they are called "accidents". Your dog would not want you to blame yourself. I have several dogs about that age, but my doctor doesn't want to do surgery on them.


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## crboggs (Nov 13, 2010)

sobstocks said:


> I miss him so much my heart is broken and my guilt is overpowering. He was my best friend and I let him down.
> He was a 12 yr old german shepherd beauty who loved me dearly. He had freak accident late sunday night slipping off a couch and severly breaking his rear leg feamer, he was in so much pain. We went to the emergency vet and had xrays and pain injection that revealed the severity of the break.
> The next day my regular vet looked at the xrays and contacted a surgeon said he needed surgury right away.
> It was so much money just over $3000. I had the money but I'm unemployed.
> ...



Don't blame yourself.

He was 12 years old and its doubtful that he would have recovered from surgery at that age. 

We made the mistake of putting our 11 year old female labrador through major cancer surgery and we still regret it to this day. She lived 9 more months but spent half the time struggling to recover and rehab from her procedures.

The right choice would have been to put her down and spare her that pain, but we made the selfish choice of putting her through surgery out of our own selfish desire to keep her with us longer.

You made the right choice.


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## VegasResident (Oct 4, 2006)

I am so sorry about your pup.

I read your post and saw such raw emotion.

When we make decisions for our dogs, I almost think that we all have regrets in one way or another. Whether it was a decision like yours or feeling like we held on to a pup too long or felt like we let them go too early or feeling like we should have done more or less. It is a no win situation for your heart.

Any way you cut it, many times we are left feeling selfish, angry or hating ourselves and almost begging for anything to change the way we did something or the way we made a decision.

We are all human. If we were perfect, our decisions would be perfect too.

Realize this. When your pup left the earth the last thing he knew was that you were holding him and you loved him.

Our pups live for the moment. They do not look to the future, they do not hold grudges from the past. Only we as humans do that.

You will heal. I promise. 
It will take time. I guarantee.


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## lanaw13 (Jan 8, 2011)

{{{{HUGS}}}} from me and the doggies….


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## clearcreekranch (Mar 18, 2010)

Prayers and Hugs from Texas. I had to make the exact same decision when my mixed breed dog broke a back leg. We don't know how he did it, but I found him in the driveway in the a.m. He had severe arthritis in the front legs and it was doubtful that he could support his weight during the recovery from the surgery. He too, was 12. And yes, to this day, I still wonder if I did the right thing. Your post brought back all the doubts and sadness. I don't think that there is ever a time that we don't second guess ourselves in these kind of situations. Don't hate yourself and know that you are not alone.


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