# How do we know?



## Catori (Jul 5, 2010)

I have just joined, so pardon the strange face...but I am finding myself struggling these past few months with the condition of my 13 year old GSD, Lucky. This dog has been my companion, best friend, team mate, etc, ever since she was 8 weeks old and I was only 5. I couldn't have found a better play mate anywhere. She's everything to me, and I have been dreading this moment for the longest time.

She had been fairly healthy through her adult years, even with bad allergies. Though as she has gotten older, she has had trouble walking and especially lately...sometimes her back legs will just go out from under her and sometimes she needs help getting up. She has an immune disorder, and an anal fissure because of it. Along with this list she is starting to lose her eye sight, and she has some tumors ( a baseball sized one on her right flank). We have not had a biopsy done because of her age. She has some days where all she does is sleep, and other days when she is very up and about and seems to move better.

I was watching my girl trying to run today...and I could only cry. She loves to run, and now she has difficulty walking let alone running. And it made me realize how short my time with her is... How do we know when the time is right to say good bye? I don't want to be selfish, but I don't want to say good bye any sooner than I have to. She does not seem to be in any physical pain, but I can't be for sure. She's on prednizone for her immune disorder to keep her fissure in check, and the vet says that will probably also help with any discomfort in her joints as well. I just want her to have a good quality of life in her golden years. I just want to ask those that have said good bye...how do we know when to let go? How much is too much... I just dread this decision and I almost wish someone else would make it for me.


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## AliciaMaria (May 8, 2010)

Reading this makes me cry..  My husky is almost 9 and Im not dealing with his age very well... give her lots of hugs and cuddle with her.. you'll NEVER regret it later on..

Whenever I see my Tex laying around, snoozing, relaxing, whatever, I make it a point to get up and go lay with him or rub his tummy.. Im trying to make the best out of what time I have left with him..  It has crept up so quickly.


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## Cluemanti (Jun 25, 2010)

I think you will know when its time. I've never been put in that situation so I'm really not sure. Hopefully her golden years aren't too bad on her but sounds like she had a great life.


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## Catori (Jul 5, 2010)

You're right...the time just seems to go by so quickly. We think we have so much time, but we really don't.  I am just trying to do whatever she wants these days, walks if she's up to it, or just lounging with a good belly rub. She never was much of a cuddler, which never really seemed to bother me until now. 

I do hope she will let me know when... just so I won't have to decide entirely on my own. They have their ways of talking to us, even if it isn't what we want to hear. A great life for her and great memories for me. It definitely is something a girl never forgets.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, so i think you'll just know. 

You can always do a google search for a "quality of life scale". It may help you make the decision. 

Reading posts and threads like this makes me cherish everyday I spend with Lucy even more.


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## Mary Beth (Apr 17, 2010)

My thoughts are with you and your lovely dog. I went through this with my Husky and my Aussie. Yes, you hope they will die in their sleep, and you dread making the decision. I know how hard and how precious each day is for you. Practical matters, if you have carpet on your floors that will help the footing. Try to adapt things that you do. My Aussie loved pig ears, when he got very old, they were too much for his teeth. So I found another special treat that was soft (ice cream). My Husky loved to run, so instead, I would take her on slow leash walks - let her sniff and I would sit on a park bench pretending to be tired, so she could rest. I would prasie her for being so good on the leash. I once saw a man with his elderly retriever. When other dogs and people would come on the sidewalk, he would have his dog hold a perfect sit/stay until they passed, and he would praise her. She looked so proud and regal. I also saw him just sit with her on a blanket in the park. This time is so precious and just being with you is what she wants. Also, there's going to be a bad day followed by good days. As Cluemanti said, you will know. Just take it day by day and enjoy the time you have with her. It helped me to keep it in perspective, I keep telling myself that I was blessed to have my dogs live so long to have an old age.


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## AliciaMaria (May 8, 2010)

Remember to take lots of pictures and videos of her now.. so that years later, you can watch and look at them and smile..


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I just read another posting like this a few days ago...someone struggling with how and when to make the most difficult decision. All I can say is that most of us have been there, I had to with our shepherd Omy, truly the best dog that ever lived. She began having seizures about age 11, seemed like a series of mild strokes, lack of consciousness, confusion, however, she was in good shape physically. The big question was the quality of life she was faced with because the neurological problems caused her to become fearful, confused, lacking confidence. She kept looking to me to take care of her even though she had devoted her life to taking care of us. Lucky loves and trusts you to do what's best for her and knows you'll make the right decision. But it's the most miserable of times, I'm so sorry


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## Catori (Jul 5, 2010)

Mary Beth, it's very helpful to take the one day at a time approach and I'm so grateful that she'd been with us this long. I try to take pictures when I see her so calm and or happy, to remember that look, it's like she smiles. Not that I think I will ever forget. And Stosh you are right...she's given everything to me and I owe her to do the right thing for her. But very miserable... And it doesn't help when you have people telling you that "oh, it's just a dog" Thank you all very much for the support.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

spend as much time with her as you can. spend as little time as you can with anyone who would say those thoughtless words. one day at a time is all you can do at this stage in her life. knowing when to make the decision and then making it is so incredibly hard, but something we must do. i think the quality of life questionaire is helpful, but ultimately it's just something you have to trust yourself to "know". pictures are wonderful.


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## CaliBoy (Jun 22, 2010)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Lucky. The thing about taking lots of photos and/or video is a great idea. With my first GSD, I came home and found him laying down on the backyard lawn. He would not get up and come inside to his bed. He would not take even a morsel of the leftovers I brought him from the restaurant. When I realized he would not walk and would not eat, I knew it was time to take him to his vet. He was 13 and a half.

With my second GSD Baby Girl, she was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma but like your Lucky, she would sleep all day long one day and the next would get up and follow me around. As time went on, even walking around the house seemed to tire her out. Finally, the day arrived when her stomach began to swell/bloat, and it seemed to me that she could not breathe normally, so I called the vet to come out to the house. She was eight and a half.

Every one is different. Personally, I wanted my GSD's to be with me as long as possible, and made up my mind that I would not call the vet until there were obvious signs of critical or dire medical issues. Others prefer to say goodbye sometime before it gets to that stage. Then there are those truly blessed souls who one day find their beloved GSD peacefully "sleeping" and don't have to "do" anything.

As for anyone saying "she is just a dog" I hope you either put them in their place or stay far, far away from them. If you feel like most of us about our GSD's, the days of Lucky's passing will be like passing through Hades. I was a sobbing, sighing, weeping wretched man for days when I lost my pets. Anyone who does not respect your unspeakable grief in these days is nothing short of toxic and must be banished from your presence out of respect for Lucky.


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## Trina (Sep 11, 2009)

As most others have said, I think you will know when it is time especially since you are so bonded to her and know her so well. A couple of things that may signal the time is near is when she starts to go off her food and no longer seems to have an interest in giving and/or receiving affection.

Regardless, it is never an easy decision and the pain is no less.


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## Catori (Jul 5, 2010)

Thank you Caliboy, you are right that I need to just avoid those people, it proves to be difficult sometimes but doable. Lucky doesn't particulary like them either, our dogs always know and friend from foe, so I just shut them out. I have tried to put them in their place, but as many know there are just people you can't make understand. And I won't waste my breath, I'd rather spend my time with my girl. I definitely want her to be with me as long as possible.

Well she's still very much into food, and won't shy away from any affection. The good days are easy, it's just the bad days that remind me about her age and the reality of the time left.


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## chicagojosh (Jun 22, 2010)

lets see some pics of Lucky!!!


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Some people might be trying to make you feel better and don't know how to say it...some people are idiots. Sounds like "Lucky" is the perfect name for her!


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## Mary Beth (Apr 17, 2010)

"Just a dog" no, only the best friend (most devoted and loving) you will ever have. I really think that we are blessed to have dogs (and cats too and all companion animals) in our lives. When I took my Husky for her last visit - the vet met me at the car and said "this is the last thing you can do for her". You need to be strong for her now. But remember she was only lent to you by her creator. Unless we very old ourselves, we will outlive our dogs. That is from the Monks of New Skete "How to Be your Dog's Best Friends". That chapter really helped me to cope and what's important to prepare. And we also must be realistic and not fall into the trap of self peity (so easy to do - and yes, I've been there) and remember instead the countless dogs that are put down because nobody wanted to adopt them or wanted to take care of them anymore and dumped them at the Humane Society. You are giving your dog a great life, she is still with you, enjoy that time, be strong for her as another post said, and save your tears for later. My thoughts are with you and your lovely shepherd.


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

"goodbye makes room for hello".


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## adamdude04 (Apr 15, 2010)

It just comes. Simply enough.

Don't expect/watch for it. There will be that time and place when you'll know.


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## Anja1Blue (Feb 27, 2008)

When the bad days outnumber the good, when the dog obviously has no viable quality of life left (can't walk, is incontinent, is in pain, for example) that is the time to say goodbye. The problem is that most of us don't want that to happen - we don't want to lose them, and we choose not to see the look in their eyes which is begging us to let them go. (Though having said that, many dogs will fight to stay, because they seem to know that's what we want - my last shepherd, Blue, was like that.) It is extraordinarily difficult for us to have to make the decision to end their lives, it is not something many of us would ever have to deal with when concerning ourselves with a human being..... but I think the simplest way to put it is to say you have to stop thinking of yourself and start thinking objectively about your dog - how is he/she REALLY doing, not just today, but every day? And if the answer is "very poorly", with no light at the end of the tunnel, you must do the kinder deed and let him/her go. Very few companion animals pass on their own, so, sadly, it is left to us to make that decision for them, that one last gift as I've heard it described. 

In the meantime, if you haven't honestly reached that point yet - enjoy and cherish every moment of every day with Lucky - you have had a wonderful life together, and it is that memory that will sustain you always.
______________________________________
Susan

Anja SchH3 GSD
Conor GSD
Blue BH WH T1 GSD - waiting at the Bridge


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## Catori (Jul 5, 2010)

I honestly don't think the bad days out number the good, but I'm not sure if it is fair to try and wait until that point. Right now her biggest problem is her hips, and the difficulty she has getting up or going up or down stairs. Like I said some days are good, some worse. I don't want her to feel any pain or to not be able to really live. I don't want her merely existing, that isn't fair and would be just as awful for me to watch as for her to experience. But I'm struggling with just "picking" a day to do so. I feel so inconsiderate/terrible going "Well, Thursday or Friday?" or something to that effect. But eventually you have to pick a day, and for some reason this bothers me the most. My mom is constantly telling my father and I that our dog is suffering which doesn't help. She keeps pressuring the subject and saying she should be PTS soon. I know I have to say good bye and do the right thing... but I dont want to be told/rushed to do so.


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## Mary Beth (Apr 17, 2010)

My Husky had difficulty with the steps when she was very old. You can use a towel under her tummy and help her up and down the steps. Pet stores and catalogs also sell ramps and more fancy lifts than a towel. If she is all right on her feet once she is on flat ground - and if she can walk around, if she is eating and drinking, if she has control over her bowels and bladder, if she enjoys being with you - then she is fine. I didn't pick a day - I never could have. It was the day, that I saw that my old dog was in pain, she couldn't walk or barely, she didn't eat, drink - that was the day I had to let her go and release her from her pain. Your mother means well, but you and your father will know when the time comes.


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## Baersmama (Jun 15, 2010)

People that say "it is just a dog," well - I feel sorry for them. They have never opened their hearts to an animal. When we lost our first GSD, and our other remained, a co-worker wondered why I was so sad, because after all - 'you have another one, don't you." (I have worked with him several years since, and I still remember the cruel comment everytime I see him.)
I agree with Mary Beth. There is a lot you can do to help her with walking. We used a beach towel under her belly, to help our Maggie up and down steps, and to help her walk when needed. We also bought a ramp for her to use to get into our SUV. 
I believe Lucky will let you know when it is time, and while the decision may be difficult, you owe it to her to be strong, and do what is right for her. Enjoy all the days you have left -- and hopefully there will be many.


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## Rafi's Dad (Jan 25, 2008)

It sounds like you had a wonderful life with her. How wonderful to have grown up with her. My daughter grew up with our gsd/collie x and had to go away to boarding school, and our Sam was old. she made me promise to keep him alive while she was gone. Sam was already 13. She returned on a visit, and took her senior school photos with him. After she returned, Sam was waiting for her her. Shortly after that I happened to go out of town, and my wife called me to tell me that Sam went outside, came back through the garage and layed down on the floor of the garage, and would not get up. She was able to slide a piece of cardboard under him and cover him with a blanket. She was checking on him every half hour but short while later he had passed away quietly. The next morning she and a friend took him on to the pet cemetery. I wasn't there for the end. He was buried.
Another dog I had for 15 years, a very colorful lab mix, went on and on. She had trouble getting up and I helped her up from floors. When she went outside, I comically picked up her back legs and wheelbarrowed her down the stairs to go outside. One day while doing this, she turned around, looked at me sadly. Her eyes said, " Can't you please help me?" 
A few days later I took her to our vet. I did what she wanted, when she was ready. You will know.


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## Anja1Blue (Feb 27, 2008)

Catori said:


> I honestly don't think the bad days out number the good, but I'm not sure if it is fair to try and wait until that point. Right now her biggest problem is her hips, and the difficulty she has getting up or going up or down stairs. Like I said some days are good, some worse. I don't want her to feel any pain or to not be able to really live. I don't want her merely existing, that isn't fair and would be just as awful for me to watch as for her to experience. But I'm struggling with just "picking" a day to do so. I feel so inconsiderate/terrible going "Well, Thursday or Friday?" or something to that effect. But eventually you have to pick a day, and for some reason this bothers me the most. My mom is constantly telling my father and I that our dog is suffering which doesn't help. She keeps pressuring the subject and saying she should be PTS soon. I know I have to say good bye and do the right thing... but I dont want to be told/rushed to do so.


 Agreed - if you are the one to make the decision, feeling pressured will not help (even though sometimes people "on the outside" will see things more objectively.) You will just have to take it day by day and be truly honest about what you see. It is a fine line, no doubt about it - too soon and you regret it. Too late and you regret it. As many times as I have had to make this decision it never gets any easier. But if you want the love and companionship of an animal this is part of the responsibility of stewardship, and without sounding cliched you must open your heart and let Lucky "tell" you when the time is right. 
__________________________________________
Susan

Anja SchH3 GSD
Conor GSD
Blue BH WH T1 GSD - waiting at the Bridge


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## Doggydog (May 12, 2009)

Many years ago I brought this question to my all time favorite vet. He told me that as long as an animal eats well, and gives & receives love that it wants to be alive. When they are ready to go they withdraw and stop eating. He explained that leading up to that, it would just depend on how much hospice type care you want or can provide. I personally am capable of some pretty intense hospice type care I found out.
Another vet had recommended to euthanize my dog. But Dr Bill advised there was a lot that I could do to make her more comfortable. I changed her diet, added vitamin supplements, did physical therapy, acupuncture, and tricks like the rolled towel under her abdomen to assist her on steps. My GSD made it to 15 yrs, 2 years after the other vets suggested she be put down. And I wouldn't trade those 2 years for anything, we became even closer forming a spiritual bond which was a beautiful experience. One day she didn't want her dinner. In the morning she didn't want to eat and didn't want to walk, or leave her bed. I knew that would be her last day.


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## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

Wow, you have been so blessed (as has she) to have literally grown up with Lucky! And to have a 13 yo shepherd! 

I would talk with my vet about this. My Morgan dealt with a debilitating disease for a couple years. As long as I was able to give her the veterinary care and meds that kept her comfortable, it was ok. Luckily (?) she made the decision in that one evening she lied down and just couldn't get up again. 

With my Jasmine (who had cancer), it was more difficult because she was alert, but her body was giving out. I discussed her condition many times with my vet, had her in regularly, and then made the appointment. It was a difficult, difficult decision, and I made her last day filled with things she loved best. I even let her sleep on my Persian rug  

Kind healing thoughts being sent your way. I know this is heart-wrenching.

I must add that no matter what we do, we always question ourselves later. "Should i have...?" "Could I have....?" Ugh!


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## Sue Smart (Jul 12, 2002)

I knew it was time to release Layla when she couldn't get to the lake for a swim. I always said that she wouldn't have any quality of life if she couldn't swim. When Daniel the Vet saw her he said it was time to let her go. I'd asked him months before to tell me if he thought it was best. It would have been her birthday on Nov 9th so I lit a candle for her and cried my eyes out.


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