# Killing My Dog



## Anitsisqua (Mar 25, 2012)

I'll be moving from Texas up to Tennessee in mid-late August to go back to school. From the beginning, the plan was for me to get an apartment that allows pets and to take Gabe with me.

Lately my parents, who love Gabe, have been imploring me to consider leaving him at their place and let them look after him until I graduate. They said it would prevent him from having to adjust to living in an apartment, and I can focus on my schoolwork without worrying about him. Yesterday, my father made the request that I reconsider again, and I told him that I would think about it.

...Last night, I dreamed I killed Gabe. Intentionally. I crammed poison down his throat and waited for him to die. When he did start to die, I suddenly decided to try to make him vomit it up, and cried over him as I did it. 

I'm still very shaken up by this dream, as it was very graphic and still stands out in my mind. Do you think the two are related? Is this my subconscious trying to tell me something? Also, has anyone else ever had any dreams or anything like this? It's got me pretty disturbed. Who dreams about killing their beloved companion???


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

That does sound like a disturbing dream. I doubt you would actually do that in real life. But maybe it is your way of telling yourself to leave Gabe with your parents. I can tell you that your first year of college is very busy and you will likely have less time to spend with him.


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## Anitsisqua (Mar 25, 2012)

Well, it's not exactly my first year. I have my Bachelor's and have been out in the working world, but have decided to go back to school and get my Master's degree so I can get the job I really want.

Also, they aren't talking about a year. They're talking about the whole straight-through 27 months of the program. He's only a little over a year old. Leaving him with my parents for another 2 years...I'd be missing out on years I can't get back, and, a little selfishly, I worry he'd bond closer to them than me over that period of time. He's my buddy, and I don't want to give him away... but this dream has me wondering what my subconscious is trying to stay. I don't want to be selfish at his expense, after all.


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## shepherdmom (Dec 24, 2011)

What a horrible dream. 

As a parent of two college students I would like to add unless you are only planning on going part time please think about leaving your dog with your parents. Those first few years are intense and you will feel much better knowing your pup is safe rather than feeling guilty because you don't have time for him.

Whoops just saw your other message. If you already have a Bachelor's you already know what you are in for... maybe that is why you are having dreams.


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## PupperLove (Apr 10, 2010)

that is such a terrible dream! I would have waken up pretty shaken. 

Dreams are so strange, and sometimes the meaning behind what happens in a dream is a reflection of what you are feeling rather than the actions in the dream.

Maybe you feel like you are in a tough spot that you wish you were not in right now when it comes to your dog and wish you could just make it go away (the poisoning), but really in your heart want him to be able to stay with you (trying to save him). That's what I get out of the dream, not that you are a dog killer! Dreams are strange.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I love interpreting dreams. Dreams are about you. To me it feels like you feel guilty and leaving him when you go back to college "will kill your dog". But this is not about your dog's feelings.
I think your parents are right and it is a very generous offer that I would take in a heart beat. You need to enjoy these next two years to the fullest without limiting your freedom by having to take on the responsibility of a dog, unless you are willing to make that sacrifice. 
I am sure you'll visit a few times a year to maintain the bond. realize that dogs are flexible. I am the mother of college graduates who loved the dog they grew up with. I cannot imagine how they could have taken them to college and do as well as they (the kids) did. 
As a reference: I am taking care of the kid's college bunnies and have to send pictures once in a while because she misses them and wants to see how cute they are and still are doing OK. That's also what parents are for. Good luck on your next adventure and enjoy.


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

It sounds like your parents might miss him too. Maybe you could take a trial period of Gabe with you and if a problem parents come get him. Sorry about thinking you were a youngster, teenager.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Holy cow what a frightening dream, enough to get your heart pounding. I'm not qualified to interpret dreams so can't help you.

Well to be honest, I can't help you with the other problem either!!!

WOW ... what a pickle. I think it's one of those decisions you'll have to make keeping Gabe's best interest paramount in the decision. 

I've found dogs are very adaptable to their situations so living in an apartment vs your folks house would be an adjustment for him either way. 

He's used to living with you, and would have to adjust to not only a new home but also adjust to living with your parents.

If it doesn't work out living with you, would it be feasible to get him back to your parent's house? If not, what would you do? 

On the other hand, if it doesn't work out at your parent's house what would you do? Could you get him up to TN to live with you?

Lots of questions and no answers, just stuff to consider.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR MASTER'S DEGREE!!!


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## Anitsisqua (Mar 25, 2012)

Well, I'm still loath to leave him behind, but a trial period is fair, Cheyanna. I'll be making the drive to my parents' for Christmas. I could bring him to Tennessee to start, take him to my parents' for the holidays, and...if things aren't going well, I could leave him behind in Texas when I go back to Tennessee.

Also, I'm beginning to calm down a little from the dream. It just got me really worked up and feeling guilty about dream-me's actions and even for having the dream in the first place.

And no worries, Cheyanna. When I say "going away to school", I can see where you'd think I was a teenager.

Thanks, arycrest! I'll need it. This program is notoriously difficult.


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

Wow, that's a very freaky dream 

Personally, I would take him with me. If for some reason it really didn't work out, you do have the option of trying him at your parents. 

I had to break my lease 2 months early because Delgado was ready to come home and my roommate didn't want to deal with another puppy. My parents offered to take the puppy for me for those two months until we moved into the new house but I refused and instead moved in with them for those two months along with both dogs. I never regretted the decision, I was much happier having both dogs with me


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I think..if it were me...I'd keep my dog. I made him my responsibility when I first decided to get him. 

It may be a difficult adjustment for him, but I think his first requirement is to remain with his 'person'. You'd have to work harder to help him adjust. You might have to get up earlier, or go to bed later, he's not going to care one way or the other.


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## Anitsisqua (Mar 25, 2012)

Lilie said:


> I think..if it were me...I'd keep my dog. I made him my responsibility when I first decided to get him.
> 
> It may be a difficult adjustment for him, but I think his first requirement is to remain with his 'person'. You'd have to work harder to help him adjust. You might have to get up earlier, or go to bed later, he's not going to care one way or the other.


Exactly. And I don't WANT to leave him behind. If things go really badly, I may have to re-evaluate things, but for now, I'm still planning on taking him with me. I'm going to have to schedule pretty rigidly, but one of the complexes I'm looking at has a private, complimentary pet-sitting/doggie daycare service for residents of the community...which I think could be very good for him.

I guess between my parents' urging and this dream, I was just spooked into a bit of uncertainty.


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## Aviorwolf (Apr 10, 2013)

You have to follow your heart, of course, but personally I would take him with me. I can't imagine considering a life change situation that would even raise the possibility of separating me from my dog. Dreams are interesting. I'm a shrink and I deal with them frequently. The interpretations are many and depend on the individual; everyone is different. Obviously, you are deeply concerned about your companion. Again, if it were me, I would have him with me.
Good luck!


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## Rangers_mom (May 16, 2013)

Wow, i have actually had a similarly disturbing dream. About 15 years ago I was pregnant and lost the pregnancy in the 19th week. That was an awful experience. Then right after that happened I had a dream that my beloved dog drowned. It was very graphic and disturbing. I don't know that my dream was telling me anything, but it was indicating that I was under a lot of stress. It still gives me the shivers to think of that dream.

As for your dog, I would really sit down and try to think of what is best for Gabe. Are your parents offering because they feel that they can offer a better living situation for Gabe? If so you have to really consider this and be honest with yourself. If you feel you can offer Gabe as good a home as your parents then by all means take him with you. If not you really should consider leaving him with your parents.


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

That's a nightmare and would shake me up, certainly. I'm glad you're feeling calmer.

I also like Cheyanna's idea of a trial period. Sometimes when we're making really big decisions, we get so stressed out that we forget we can usually change our minds if our initial decision isn't working. This is definitely one of those cases


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## Shaolin (Jun 16, 2012)

I had a dream similar to that as well right before I was looking at doing a stint overseas teaching Paramedic classes; 2 years with two-two week breaks to come back home. 

Good luck on your Master's Degree! I'm sure you are freaking out about it. Maybe try a trial period and see how it goes. I agree that having a dog, especially a young one, while trying to go to school is hard but it can be done.


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## Fade2Black (Apr 30, 2012)

I would take your dog with you. You are lucky in that if something goes wrong you have a great fallback plan.....

Everyone has bad-unexplainable dreams once in a while. I would get out of it its killing you to have to leave him with your parents......


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## blehmannwa (Jan 11, 2011)

Yeah, it's a tough decision. On one hand, Grad school is hellish and busy and overwhelming but a dog can help one get through it. I had a cat in grad school and really appreciated her company. A dog would have been too much of a financial burden at that time but if you have the resources I think you'll benefit from keeping your dog with you. It's nice to have parents as a fall back position.


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## FlyAway (Jul 17, 2012)

I agree with the trial period. When I was in college, I would have loved having a dog around. A full time college work load was about half the work of my prior full time job, and I had a lot of time to spare.


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## Msmaria (Mar 2, 2013)

I agree with Cheyanna on a trial period. I have two kids one that has a masters in college and works and one in college. They still spend a good amount of time with our gsd. College is like a job and many here handle both. If its overwhelming you can also take up your wonderful parents offer to give you that break. 
I think having your dog with you would be great for a companion and keep you balanced because after seeing what it takes to get a masters and be in college, you def have to be able to have some play/down time and dogs make you do that.


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## JackandMattie (Feb 4, 2013)

Oh, I just thought of this and maybe it will help. When I moved to California to go to law school, I took my five-year-old son  I was a single parent, and it was challenging, to be sure, but very rewarding. I grew up an awful lot during those three years. A dog would have probably been a _lot_ easier, lol!


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## Las Presitas (May 10, 2013)

You are very lucky to have parents that want to help. So many people don't have options. My brother had a beautiful Samoyed during college. When he had to move he couldn't take chance with him. He moved in w/my parents who were starting their transition into an empty nest. Chance became their joy and lived with them till he passed. Dad took him every Friday to the beauty shop.and took him for daily walks. Which got my dad out walking. It is a hard decision but think what would be the best situation for Gabe. Regardless give your patents an extra hug for all their support!


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## RocketDog (Sep 25, 2011)

What a horrid dream. I'm so sorry, ugh. 

My take on this is:

Life Happens. If we make a commitment to a dog or child or person, that means through everything. I would never leave my dog unless it were something like I was being shipped overseas in the Army (in which case I'd probably not have a dog in the first place) for a year and a half or such thing. You are living your life, moving and going to college is part of it. Just like if you were working, or you suddenly had a newborn baby. That doesn't leave you any time either. 

If it were me (and it was me, 21 years ago, and I did), I'd take the dog. I heard all sorts of crap about how I'd 'give the dog up' or I *should* give the dog up...."why did you get a dog in the first place"....all that stuff. I found places to rent with the dog. I got up early and stayed up late to exercise the dog and train the dog. I made time for the dog. And when I got married and had three kids, I did the same. The dog was my first. He had to be put to sleep 2 months shy of his 10th birthday from osteosarcoma and still, my family talks about what a fabulous dog he was. I miss him still. 

The dog is yours, is part of your life. I never fit my dogs or kids around my life. I fit my life around my kids and my dogs. 

Good luck.


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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

A friend of mine did the masters/graduate thing with two dogs. I'm glad she did as I think being alone would have been harder on her. I told her a Husky in Florida was a bit odd, but Denali did just fine. In fact thinking back on it, the dogs are what kept her motivated to an extent.


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## TheModestMouse (Sep 13, 2013)

Cheyanna said:


> It sounds like your parents might miss him too. *Maybe you could take a trial period of Gabe with you and if a problem parents come get him. *Sorry about thinking you were a youngster, teenager.


As someone who will be entering college next year I have faced a similar situation (Thread: College and GSD) From asking the question I received many helpful answers that could fit your situation too. For example: 

Honestly consider the amount of time you can and will spend with your dog
Know that separating will be hard on the dog too (you have a special bond)
Consider your ability to pay for the dog's needs
I imagine that if you are able to a) find a place that accepts GSDs b) can devote time to exercise and socialize the dog and c) afford said dog's care, then there shouldn't be a problem. From what I have heard, owning a dog in college (if you have the means) teaches responsibility and time management. However, only you know what you are capable of and how hard of a work load you will have. Therefore, only you can make this decision.


Additionally, I would warn against considering your dream an "omen" or "sign." This is because many times our dreams are results of what troubles us or happens to us during the day. So, if you were pondering this question (like you said you were), then it should be no surprise that it came up in your dream. Although there are instances when dreams have been prophetic, I think your dream was playing off of your fears/worries. Just my opinion.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I have never had such a dream. 

Everyone is different. If it were me, I would have a tougher time coming home to an empty apartment and worrying about the dog/missing the dog while I was gone. 

And it would even be harder to come home 3 years later and take the dog back. 

Your situation may be totally different though. Only you can make the choice. 

I think the dream is related to your dilemma. I think you are so worried about the overall issue that your subconscious is playing it out in your mind while you sleep. Whether taking the dog with you will be killing him, or leaving him behind will be killing him is the question though. You have the answers, but the dream is very disturbing.


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

I don't know either, but it sounds like a lot of pressure on you. What do you think is best?


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## rgrey (Jul 30, 2013)

Not sure if its the same but when I had Munchkin the first couple weeks every night I dreamed I killed her in some way-I would drop her, or cover her with too many blankets, or somehow drown her with milk or I wouldn't be able to keep a hold of her during a bath and she'd drown or...And if it wasn't an I-killed-the-baby dream it was an I-lost-the-baby dream. I ended up dumping Hubby out of bed one night because I was sure I'd picked her up out of the crib, put her in the bed to sleep with us, and she was somewhere buried in the covers. He's at least 100 pounds heavier than me yet I flipped him out of bed, had all the covers off and the mattress moved (all while bawling) before he could even figure out what was going on.

When I talked to my doc and pediatrician they said that sometimes happens-the worry and stress of taking care of a newborn, the fear of failure as a parent, the general lack of sleep, ect, ect, ect can manifest in dreams of the worst possible situation. So...maybe that's happening for you as well? School, your baby, moving, everything kinda building up and coming out in your dreams.

Maybe you could give it a trial-find a place that accepts GSDs, let them know that you have one that may be moving in with you at a later date, and give it a week/month for you to settle in with school and new place, ect. Not sure how far apart you live from your folks but maybe on the weekends pup can visit you/you visit pup. If you miss him too much then everything is in place for him to move with you, but if you find you are busier with school than expected, or that its easier not having to worry about pup during the school week, your covered.


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

rgrey said:


> Not sure if its the same but when I had Munchkin the first couple weeks every night I dreamed I killed her in some way-I would drop her, or cover her with too many blankets, or somehow drown her with milk or I wouldn't be able to keep a hold of her during a bath and she'd drown or...And if it wasn't an I-killed-the-baby dream it was an I-lost-the-baby dream. I ended up dumping Hubby out of bed one night because I was sure I'd picked her up out of the crib, put her in the bed to sleep with us, and she was somewhere buried in the covers. He's at least 100 pounds heavier than me yet I flipped him out of bed, had all the covers off and the mattress moved (all while bawling) before he could even figure out what was going on.
> 
> When I talked to my doc and pediatrician they said that sometimes happens-the worry and stress of taking care of a newborn, the fear of failure as a parent, the general lack of sleep, ect, ect, ect can manifest in dreams of the worst possible situation. So...maybe that's happening for you as well? School, your baby, moving, everything kinda building up and coming out in your dreams.
> 
> Maybe you could give it a trial-find a place that accepts GSDs, let them know that you have one that may be moving in with you at a later date, and give it a week/month for you to settle in with school and new place, ect. Not sure how far apart you live from your folks but maybe on the weekends pup can visit you/you visit pup. If you miss him too much then everything is in place for him to move with you, but if you find you are busier with school than expected, or that its easier not having to worry about pup during the school week, your covered.


 
you are talking about a new born child and a dog? I never could sleep after having a baby, checked their breathing all the time too, normal . I did have a dream about 20 years ago that meant something, but not dying or killing. I lost something...


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## rgrey (Jul 30, 2013)

Yep, a newborn. Those dreams were so vivid and scary. She's 3 now and I still have to check on her at night, cause you know, if you don't watch they don't breathe, LOL! Everyone told me it would pass...so far its just gotten less OCDish.


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## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

I had to kennel my 2 for 6 months while going through bad health issues. Personally, I would NEVER give up my dogs willingly again. Dogs can adjust. And while you are cramming for your Masters, he could be your relax from the pressure down time. My opinion. But it was AGONY for me to be away from my dogs as long as I was.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

It's true, they say you learn the most in the first 10 minutes and the last 10 minutes of each session, so keep study sessions short. They say that exercise helps push the blood up to the brain where it is needed. So take you dog for a walk. I feel a lot more comfortable sleeping if my dog is there. And, I get out of bed in the mornings more effectively because of the dogs. 

I think there are a lot of good arguments for keeping the dog with you.


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## Anitsisqua (Mar 25, 2012)

Hah. I was really surprised to see this thread had been resurrected since June. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and advice. Gabe and I moved into an apartment in August, and it had been/is definitely an adjustment for both of us, but things are going okay. 

My apartment complex has a small, private dog park, which makes things easier, especially in the mornings. I make my coffee and take him to run around for a bit. I get to have my coffee and he gets to stretch his legs and do his business. We go for runs every other day, and Gabe has adopted our balcony as his new favorite spot to survey his domain . He's even gotten much better at behaving himself when I'm busy, and if he's feeling a little attention-starved, he'll come sit by the couch while I study and let me scratch his ears with one hand and operate my laptop with the other.

We even added a new member to the family, a little bobtailed Russian Blue named Suki, and Gabe adores her. He wants to play with her constantly (maybe a little obsessively) and is very gentle. She plays with him too, and will give him a swat or nip on the nose when she's had enough. Things are going great on the home front.

School's about a million times harder than I remember my undergrad classes being, but I love coming home to my furry family to unwind.

Again, thank you everyone for your advice.


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

Anitsisqua said:


> Hah. I was really surprised to see this thread had been resurrected since June. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and advice. Gabe and I moved into an apartment in August, and it had been/is definitely an adjustment for both of us, but things are going okay.
> 
> My apartment complex has a small, private dog park, which makes things easier, especially in the mornings. I make my coffee and take him to run around for a bit. I get to have my coffee and he gets to stretch his legs and do his business. We go for runs every other day, and Gabe has adopted our balcony as his new favorite spot to survey his domain . He's even gotten much better at behaving himself when I'm busy, and if he's feeling a little attention-starved, he'll come sit by the couch while I study and let me scratch his ears with one hand and operate my laptop with the other.
> 
> ...


I am happy to read that you kept him and everything is going well!

Congrats on the new addition to your family!

Update your signature!


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## Anitsisqua (Mar 25, 2012)

LaRen616 said:


> I am happy to read that you kept him and everything is going well!
> 
> Congrats on the new addition to your family!
> 
> Update your signature!


I did! Weeks ago! But for some reason, it's not showing up right...

EDIT: Okay, I just went back in and it was still showing up in my CP the correct way but not in the forums. I deleted everything, re-entered it, saved again, and it seems to be showing up properly now...


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## TAR HEEL MOM (Mar 22, 2013)

Ahh..I am so glad that things are going well for you and Gabe!


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