# A missing part of me.....



## Rgoldman (May 2, 2021)

It's taken almost 11 months for me to write this and even now, I can barely see through my tears. I lost my beautiful boy Rex last September, two days before his 10th birthday to GDV. It was by far the most horrible day of my life. Everything was perfectly normal, we had gone through our daily routine of playing(Rex was obsessed with tennis balls and sat patiently with two of them in his mouth every night while I ate dinner. After my last bite, he would run for the door and the game was on.) After cooling him down and letting him rest a while, I gave him his dinner like always. He was never a big eater or food driven, and showed his usual appetite that night. He finished his dinner and rang his bell on the back door to go outside just like every other night. I let him out and was in my office doing some work when I aske my wife if he had come back to the door yet. She said she hadn't heard him and went to look for him. He was in the dog run acting like he was trying to throw up. I went out there to check on him and knew right away something was seriously wrong. I had my wife call our vet who was closed for the night so she called the emergency vet number we had and they told us to bring him in right away. Unfortunately, it was an hour drive to get there. I sat in the back with him as he quickly went down hill urging my wife to drive faster. By the time we arrived, they were waiting in the parking lot and rushed him back without letting me in due to covid restrictions. That was the last time I saw him in a semi coherent state. They made us wait in our car for an update. When the call finally came, They gave him little if any chance of survival and I was faced with the most agonizing decision of my life. Money had nothing to do with it. I would have paid any amount to save my boy. When they told me of all the possible outcomes, I just couldn't face putting him through that at his age. The vet told me he would likely need multiple surgeries and would probably never recover due to the amount of time that had passed before we got him there. They said blood flow had been cut off for too long and there would be multiple organ failures if he even survived the first surgery. I did not know that vet at all and I really wish I could have gotten him to my regular vet who I would have trusted a lot more. They let me in to see him and he was in so much pain it was killing me to see him suffer like that. They used a needle to relieve some pressure and gave him pain meds but it didn't seem to be doing anything for him. I have no idea if I made the right choice but I couldn't stand watching him suffer like that so I agreed to euthanize him. I can not believe that is how it ended. Almost 10 years of zero privacy, hair in and on everything, spending hours looking for my hidden shoes, going out to play every night even in the rain because not going was ever an option, the nightly perimeter checks before anyone was allowed to go to sleep, and all of the other OCD behavior that I miss daily. 
I do plan on getting another GSD as soon as I have the proper amount of time to devote to bonding and training like I had when I got Rex. I have never in my life felt as loved by another being as I did from him. I know that sounds strange, and my wife may argue that point, but Rex was unlike any "dog" or human I have ever known or connected with in all my years on this planet. 
I appreciate all that I have read on this forum over the last 9 months or so and I know my story is not unique in any way but I just needed to finally say what it is that I have been feeling for the last 10+ months. Part of me is missing and I don't know that I will ever get it back.


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## mere_de_tous (Dec 23, 2020)

Great pictures of your boy. Very sorry you had to experience such a traumatic loss. I can only imagine 😞


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## Cat Mom Adopts German Boy (Jan 4, 2021)

How absolutely heartbreaking! I'm so sorry you've lost your friend. : ( It sounds like he had amazing life with you. Such wonderful memories you've shared with us. My thoughts are with you. ♥


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## ksotto333 (Aug 3, 2011)

What a beautiful boy he was. We lost our Tess in April just shy of her 10th birthday. Our day sounded like yours, normal in every way, lots of fetch and companionship. Once her symptoms were clear, we were able to get her to our regular vet after hours but it was too late. We also decided to let her go rather than risk the hour additional drive to a surgeon that could attempt to save her. So hard to do, and I still can't believe she's gone but I do think it was best for her. I am so sorry you are going through this, it's just so difficult to wrap your mind around.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

What a handsome boy. Peace to you and your wife.


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## banzai555 (Sep 2, 2019)

I'm so sorry. GDV scares me to death...I too would have a 1-hour drive to get to an emergency vet after hours. Hugs to you. :-(


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

I’m so sorry you lost Rex this way. We also lost Hunter at age 11 to GDV just over a year ago so understand the horrible decision to make when surgery is just not possible. It’s a terrible thing for the dog to have to go through and for us as owners to have to see our dog suffer that way. Just know you made the only decision you could and did him the ultimate kindness by ending his suffering.


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## Rgoldman (May 2, 2021)

Thank you everyone for your comments. I still can't believe he's gone. I can only hope that one day the hurt lessens because it's still as sharp as the day it happened.


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## mikegray660 (Jan 31, 2018)

I can sympathize - i lost my BFF 11 months ago and my heart still breaks every time i think about her being gone and the devastation on the day of her departure. I realize (and i'm sure you do too) that she'll always be a part of me and i'll always miss her - i hope your recovery starts to focus more on the special moments you had together and less on the final moments of the loss

best wishes
m


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## finn'smom (Oct 4, 2019)

So sorry for your loss, it's a different heartbreak when it's so sudden - at least that's been my experience.


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## jarn (Jul 18, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rex is stunning, I hope your good memories give you peace. It's so hard to lose them.


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