# I think the time has come, but I'm having a terrible time...



## PhoenixGuardian (Jul 10, 2013)

Ugh...
I have reached the end with my first fully trained lead dog, Chummer. She has cancer, she is emaciated (no matter how much I feed her, I give her anything she wants) Her muscle tone is all but gone so she is having a hard time standing. She runs away from me like she doesn't recognize me, which hurts like a knife, but I can catch her because she can't run fast. She now has a hard lump on one side of her foot that grew tremendously fast which I suspect is some sort of bone cancer. 
She hasn't had the cancer "Episode" that tells me I need to put her down now, but I don't want her to get to that point. She was always the most dignified dog, she took care of herself, and now she can't. She has to sleep in our barn at nights, because she can't come inside (she would eat our cats, start fights, chew everything...) so she has to go there where its warm. She WANTS to be outside with her pack-mates, she WANTS to still be Chummer, but she just can't. I am thinking of having her PTS on Monday... But its so stinking hard!Not everyone in my family believes in putting dogs to sleep. Some members get very angry when this topic is broached, because they think it is rong. I think it is wrong to make a dignified animal suffer and go through a process much more painful.
Do you guys think that this is the right decision? I think it is but... The words "its a hard thing to talk about" don't even cover it. This dog and I have been through a lot together, and I want to make the right choice for her.


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## Baillif (Jun 26, 2013)

You love your dog more than anyone here, and have more vested in his quality and quantity of life than anyone here. If you think its time it is time. Don't second guess it. We unfortunately live a lot longer than our dogs and have to go through this several times in our life time. You gave him a great run of things and that run is coming to an end. It sucks, but that is life sometimes. I've had dogs where looking back I waited too long. Don't do that.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I agree with Baillif

I also think it's wrong to let a dignified animal suffer.

I'm sorry you have to make the worst decision ever, but I think your decision is the right one. Hugs to you all


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## Darkthunderplotts (Oct 28, 2013)

I can understand your pain I had to put my pittie down this summer she was not all there and was very sick it hurts but it would hurt more to watch her suffer and not be the dog you remember. Keep the good memories and let go of the bad ones love what Chummer was


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## Uniballer (Mar 12, 2002)

Baillif said:


> You love your dog more than anyone here, and have more vested in his quality and quantity of life than anyone here. If you think its time it is time. Don't second guess it. We unfortunately live a lot longer than our dogs and have to go through this several times in our life time. You gave him a great run of things and that run is coming to an end. It sucks, but that is life sometimes. I've had dogs where looking back I waited too long. Don't do that.


This.


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## PhoenixGuardian (Jul 10, 2013)

I read Ballif's post and agree. I have done that before too, which is why I am going to do it Monday. She doesn't deserve for me to wait on her to feel even more crummy. Thanks everyone, its a feeling I will never get used to.


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## wolfstraum (May 2, 2003)

Baillif said:


> You love your dog more than anyone here, and have more vested in his quality and quantity of life than anyone here. If you think its time it is time. Don't second guess it. We unfortunately live a lot longer than our dogs and have to go through this several times in our life time. You gave him a great run of things and that run is coming to an end. It sucks, but that is life sometimes. I've had dogs where looking back I waited too long. Don't do that.



Been there too many times....this is well said.....I think validation helps us live with this decision....I validate it as well....<<<hugs>>>

Lee


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## Wolfgeist (Dec 4, 2010)

This is your decision, and no one should make you feel guilty or wrong for taking care of your pack. You love this dog, she is your friend, you know what is right for her because you can see her decline and see where things are heading for her. You want her to pass peacefully before things get very bad for her, which is noble and kind. 

I validate your decision, as well... so sorry that this time has come and your heart is aching. Will keep you in my thoughts this weekend. Do what you think is right, she relies on you for that. You have my support for sure, and obvious other members here support you too!


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

This has always been the hardest time for me...the wait between making the decision and the final goodbye. It is the right thing to do for her, and I wish you strength. Take care.


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## FortheLoveofChari (Nov 22, 2013)

I agree with Baliff. 

I waited too long with my Border Collie mix. She was hiding and at times began to cry her eyes clouded and she had no recognition of me before I made the decision to pts. 

We all know your pain all too often. I know despite how bright Chari's eyes were, I had known that today was going to be Chari's day, my fiance and I planned on taking her this morning after what had happened with her when we tried to take her to potty. We knew it was her time go the moment she went down at the door. Slid to her bottom and laid down. Words can't do the justice in her eyes. 

With Klondike (BCx) I had waited too long...and somehow with Chari it was like the angels were calling her over, she just had to tell them when to take her, and she did. 

It is not easy, we can't say it enough as words cannot describe how NOT easy it is to make that decision. It will hurt for the longest time, but in your heart you will _know_ it is the right thing. 

Listen to what you know is best, not what everyone thinks. If you have the power to ease her pain then do it. I know before my border collie mix I felt it was wrong for us to make that decision, it is the man upstairs, but sometimes the life force (jedi's rule >.>) in our dogs is stronger than they are...lol :3 We have to tell them it is okay, they don't need to hold on anymore...we will be fine. 

My fiance said those same words to me, "She knew you didn't need her to stay for you anymore." It was after I hugged her and said that I loved her and I will be back. I let her know she didn't need to be strong anymore...she was a great girl. 

Sorry for the babble, but really..if your baby no longer recognizes you, it is time...instincts have taken over. She is doing the natural steps when an animal prepares to pass. Has she started to hide yet?


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## Jelpy (Nov 8, 2009)

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is an inevitable part of being the guardian for a dog but that it doesn't make it easier. Simply know that you are taking on this pain for the purpose for saving her pain. 

Jelpy


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## PhoenixGuardian (Jul 10, 2013)

Okay, an unforseen event has caused me to really rethink. One of our horses, my Mom's old pony colicked this morning. I was feeding them and I found him, and by the time the vet got here, there was nothing he could do. He was the pony I learned to ride on. I don't know if I can lose two of my animals in two days, but I DON'T want to make a selfish choice. What do you guys think I should do???
This weekend sucks.


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## Uniballer (Mar 12, 2002)

The worst we have ever had was having to put down two animals in two weeks. Although having to put a 13 yo GSD down on our 24th wedding anniversary ranked a close second.

You are the one who must decide, and it is never easy.


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## PhoenixGuardian (Jul 10, 2013)

I put her down last night. You think that knowing its coming might make it easier. It doesn't. I know that in owning animals, it will happen over and over and over again, and I always feel the same weight drop into my stomach as soon as I know what must be done. She lived an excellent live, bossing other dogs around, and running her heart out, her two favorite things (beside chasing kitties). Chummer led a team (not one of mine, before I got her) through the U.P. 200 sled dog race, one of the longest races in Michigan. She was always the tough, "No messing around" dog, who got the job done, but then loved a good snuggle as soon as her harness came off. She taught me what a true sled dog, a dog who has the heart of a lion, is. She taught her daughter, now my best lead dog, how to be who she is. She taught my little sister how to race, and gave her the confidence to go out with her own teams. Lol, I remember one time when we were introducing her to one of our "bad boyzzzz" BlackJack, who came strutting over to her, tail up and hackles bristling. She waited for him to come over, not moving a hair, before lunging at him, lips drawn back. My mom, who had Jack on a leash for fear this would happen, pulled back, but fell over backward; Chummer had somehow unsnapped Jack's collar. IN a record time of under ten seconds, she had Jack flat underneath her, and stood over him, teeth exposed, as though asking him who was the big dawg now? 
Queen Chummer (this was how she was referred to) was the clear matriarch of the kennel, ruling with an iron paw. Watching her fall from her throne was awful. Age seemed to catch up with her overnight, and then the wasting starting. It was a slow process, but she still wanted to pick a fight with anyone who dared sass her, I had to step in more than once, or she would have gotten her tail kicked. She was fourteen, would have been fifteen in April, and led an excellent life. She did whatever she wanted, and was loved, by more people than just me. Anyone who knew Chummer loved her, and when I took friends out on the sled, most of the time they asked for Chummer to be their lead dog, because they knew and trusted that she would bring them back in one piece. But I think I loved her the most. She was my girl, and as I said already, taught me so much about the thing that I do. I have her daughters to carry on her place, but there was only ever one Chummer.


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## BellaLuna (Jan 27, 2013)

So sorry for your loss.


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

Much, much strength for you. You did the right thing. She lived a long and good life and it is awesome to have a pup out of her so you will still see her shine through her.


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## My5dogs (Aug 30, 2013)

I am so sorry


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I am so very very sorry for your loss


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## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

There is something about letting go of those dogs that shine as "leaders" that seems more difficult. My first Siberian Husky "Kashmir" sounded so much like your gal. She was my first lead dog, boss, trainer and ruler of all in the kennel. She was my puppymill rescue and outlived the others by years before losing her at 14 as well. These dogs are so very special and she will be forever in your heart. The next time your out for a run...look high as she WILL be running with you!


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I'm so sorry. She needed you to do the best for her and you did. She was well loved


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## TAR HEEL MOM (Mar 22, 2013)

I'm very sorry. Believe you did the right thing. As I always say, "It's the last and best gift you can give her." Peace to you.


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## seirios (Jan 4, 2014)

i dont know why i read these at work, i get all teared up..sorry for your loss


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## Jo_in_TX (Feb 14, 2012)

I'm so sorry. 

That was a lovely tribute to your girl, too.


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## halo2013 (Jan 6, 2014)

Awww. Sorry for your loss. Its always tough..good luck to you

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