# Fear aggression? or sensing evil?



## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

I thought a long time before posting this, but I really want opinions.

little background, sorry that it makes this a long read. names are changed to protect the innocent or at least so they don't know Im talking about them.

J is a good friend of hubby's. Or was until he started dating "the Psycho". She has cut him off from all of his friends, accuses every woman he speaks to of wanting to sleep with him (including getting punching his female cousin in the face at a wedding reception!!). I work with J's mom C, who is a friend of mine. C breeds Yorkies.

Psycho has a daughter who just turned 5, who we refer to as the spawn of satan. This child just isn't normal! Even though J and C live on the same property, she is no longer allowed at C's house. A few months ago, she was up there with J's children, to visit grandma's new puppies. The other children went to help get out the dogs' food and C thought that the girl went with them. She heard a horrible noise coming from the bedroom where the puppies were. The "child" had put them out on the floor and was stomping on them! one puppy had to be put down because she crushed it. She just shrugged and said the noises they made when she did it were funny???

C later found out from J the reason that they had gotten rid of the kitten Psycho's mother had given her for her bday. She was sitting in the living room watching TV, petting the kitty. she grabbed it's tail in both hands and snapped it! when asked why, she just shrugged. J just a few weeks ago bought his children a rabbit. He is now looking for a new home for it because the little demon keeps swinging it around by it's hind legs and dragging it by it's ears.

Which brings me to the point of the story. I stopped by to visit C and had Rayden with me. It was cool, so I popped the rear window of the Jimmy and all the windows were down. C and I were standing inside the garage, just a few feet away. All of a sudden Rayden starts this horrible growling whine and before I can even say "no" jumps out the window and goes tearing down the driveway. He skids to a stop about 3 feet in front of this little girl, cowering growling and just hysterical barking. I run after him and literally have to DRAG him back to the car. He acted like he was terrified to turn his back on her. and was lunging and growling the whole time. Didn't calm down until she had left.

Now, he has never seen her before. We didn't know that she was there, so he didn't pick up a bad vibe from C or myself. So, my question is, what set him off? Does she possibly put out an "evil" vibe? he has never reacted like that to ANYONE or anything. 
During the entire incident, she just stood there with a blank expression on her face. didn't flinch or react in any way. Just turned around and walked back down the drive when C yelled that she wasn't allowed to be there.


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

Has he been around small children before? My dogs would do the same thing, I cannot have them around kids under 10 as they see them as something foreign. My next door neighbors have two screaming little girls and my dogs cannot understand why the are always making those strange noises. I have tried to socialize them w/ the girls, but they(the girls) are way too flakey/highstrung to use as examples.
I believe it is fear based, not sensing evil. That child seems to have it in her though. What is the age of Rayden?


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

You best described this child - the spawn of satan! And you have a very smart dog to pick this up. I would recommend keeping your dog safe from this child.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

guess I should add, her mom is bi-polar off her meds. no father. child is always ignored, except by J. We went to visit once and found her sitting outside on the deck at 1am because her mother had locked her outside for being "annoying"

I do feel sorry for her and C treated her like one of the grandchildren until the puppy incident. but the girl seems to have no emotions at all! 
Im afraid that she is a budding serial killer or something!

several people have recommended that she get professional help, but her mother and the rest of the family refuse. We're hoping that once she starts school, they can be forced into it.


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

I would call child protective services if I saw that. Poor child, even if she is evil.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

Onyx, yes he's been around small children his whole life. our youngest was 4 when we got him at 9 weeks. He's never reacted this way EVER. he worked as a service dog with me for about 2 years also. 

We have the girls' friends over all the time. His biggest "bad" when they are here is sitting on people's laps and squishing them!

the girl wasn't running or making any noise. just walking up. she stopped and just stood there with a blank expression when he charged her. It wasn't like she was frozen in fear, just blank.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

CPS hasn't done anything. Mom has been investigated several times. At most, she is sent to the grandparents (who did such a great job with her mother) while Mom is in jail. last time it was DUI, before that it was brawl at the local bar.

C has started wondering if it's too late to help this girl. Before moving in with J, she spent most of her time alone. She wasn't even potty trained at almost 4 1/2 years old! No one had the time to deal with her. Mom just made her wear a diaper and if she soiled it she walked around naked.

It's just beyond creepy, a little girl who seems to enjoy causing such pain. J said she didn't even react when the cat went crazy scratching her when she broke it's tail. He was actually sitting on the couch right beside her. said it just came out of nowhere. same with stomping on the puppies. She said it was funny when they tried to run away??


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

The girl is sociopath. She needs help NOW!!!

http://www.animalliberationfront.com/Philosophy/AbuseLinked/Sociopaths.htm

http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

http://www.apsu.edu/oconnort/crim/crimtheory08.htm


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

This is a totally unprofessional opinion and please regard it as such. This comes from extensive reading, relationship with the therapy community and personal experience with a foster child. It should not be regarded as medical advise or legal advise. It is a lay person making remarks as a concerned citizen. Ready?

Damage done to children by parents who are in turn doting then rejecting (usually/often/always? I'm not sure which of these is correct) has incredibly negative indelible effects. A child exhibiting this behavior could well have had such an experience and is very likely a significant danger to others.

Do not bother to recommend that the child get help. Instead, I ask you to report this situation to children's services because from your description it sounds as though the child is beyond at risk and is a danger to others. If one report doesn't take care of it, please make another until you can see that something is being done. If Children's services doesn't do the trick, call your local animal welfare agencies. This isn't going to go away.


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## ken k (Apr 3, 2006)

the dogs sense are emotions through the 1,000`s of shin cells we shed Rayden could smell this little girl was up to no good, and got on the defensive, perhaps this girl had it in her mind to some how hurt Rayden


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

I agree completely that it isn't going to go away. Though she did make huge improvements in some ways since they moved in with J. unfortunately, that is very on-again off again. 
As I said, CPS has been called several times, but have labeled the calls "unsubstantiated" the girl is clean, there is food in the house, and of course mom is doting when they show up for the interview. Im guessing that the average case worker wouldn't recognize her behaviors from a short home inspection visit.

Currently, there are no animals in the house. At least, Im pretty sure the rabbit has gone to a new home. We have 3 already, and no place to put another, even temporary. 

In a way, she reminds me both of the documentaries you see on feral children and the background of serial killers. she seems emotionally "not there" As I said, hopefully something coming for a professional like a teacher who sees her every day will get her the counseling she needs.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

> Originally Posted By: Jax08The girl is sociopath. She needs help NOW!!!
> 
> http://www.animalliberationfront.com/Philosophy/AbuseLinked/Sociopaths.htm
> 
> ...


the diagnosis of the "antisocial personality disorder" fits her perfectly! C said that there are stretches of time that, as long as she is in the center of attention, that she is just like a normal little girl. But if she gets bored or feels that she is being treated unfairly, then all [heck] breaks loose. but I don't think anyone has ever seen her cry. she just acts cold.

and, definitely on the lying! she will say that she isn't the one who colored with markers on the TV when she is standing there with the marker in her hand still doing it! (yes she markered all over his 57 inch LCD TV) she also said that she isn't the one who took a dozen eggs and stomped them into the carpet even though she was the only one there and was covered in eggs


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Children can't have those diagnoses. 

Children do lie about what they have and haven't done-that's very normal. 

However and obviously, there is way more going on that that and continued efforts must be made to get her out of that environment and into treatment or she has the potential to grow into those diagnoses as an adult. Right now, she could be rehabilitated, she may have an underlying spectrum disorder that has not been diagnosed. 

She needs a total change in her little life. Everything has to be relearned-she is basically a child in need of rescue and it is very, very sad. 

Please don't let the system fail her. I don't know about where you live but there are a lot of programs that might be able to intervene. Do you have anything like this where you are? http://www.hillside.com/index.htm If not, there are probably still resources available-but you have to hammer at it and be relentless or this child will be lost.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

I don't know of any place, though, that will take her without the mother's approval. and that just isn't going to happen.

CPS has been called over 2 dozen times since she moved in with J (most of those by him) and tehy said that there is no reason. though they did say that if he thinks she is such a problem that perhaps he should stop having visitation with his children.

we are hopeful that is for sure. at least, we're hoping that being in a more "normal" environment will help bring her problems to the attention of people who can help. school just started a couple days ago.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

J himself really needs to FIGHT for this child to get evaluated and attended to. Who is J planning to contact besides CPS? He needs to get this little one's condition brought to the attention of people who can care for her psychological needs properly. I sure hope he isn't going to wait and see what happens.. wait and let the school deal with it.. etc. She needs J to step up and be her active, involved advocate.

I am so sorry to hear about the puppies and kitten.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Call the school. They aren't going to know all this background and these things can take a while to shake out. If she's in kindergarten, they all act weird the first few weeks and it takes a good month or two to figure out which are going to adjust and which need more help. Someone has to do something for her. She is screaming for help with those behaviors. 

And it will help future animals from being victims.


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## sunfluer (May 12, 2009)

> Originally Posted By: Dainerra
> Psycho has a daughter who just turned 5, who we refer to as the spawn of satan. This child just isn't normal! Even though J and C live on the same property, she is no longer allowed at C's house. A few months ago, she was up there with J's children, to visit grandma's new puppies. The other children went to help get out the dogs' food and C thought that the girl went with them. She heard a horrible noise coming from the bedroom where the puppies were. The "child" had put them out on the floor and was stomping on them! one puppy had to be put down because she crushed it. She just shrugged and said the noises they made when she did it were funny???


<span style='font-size: 11pt'>Ok - this is very distrubing. It sounds like the kid needs deep psychological counseling in a hurry. Aside from that tragedy your dog may have picked up on the kid's emotional state. It's important to expose your pup to children of all ages in general. When we brought Sirius to puppy pre-school, the trainer encouraged the participants to bring their kids to class so the puppies got exposure. Children have high voices and move quickly. Dogs early on should be exposed to kids so their sounds and movements are not alarming. At the same time, children need to be taught how to approach dogs and not touch anyone's dog without permission. With Sirius, I tell my kids (ages 11 and 7) not to pet him unless he is sitting nicely which is something we did in class.</span>


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

Im not sure what he plans. other than talking to his mom, we don't have much contact with him. The Psycho screens all of his phone calls and Im not allowed to talk to him because she thinks I want to sleep with him. She has pretty much cut him off from everyone. Ive been getting most of the info from C. 
Im not sure if now is an "on" or an "off" time for them. he kicks her out, she moves back in, and on and on.

never thought of calling the school, not sure who would be the one to talk to.


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## sunfluer (May 12, 2009)

> Originally Posted By: Dainerranever thought of calling the school, not sure who would be the one to talk to.


<span style='font-size: 11pt'>The guidance counselor and principal. You may want to request a meeting with both.</span>


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

I'd start with the school psychologist. Then school counselor, nurse, principal-whoever, until you get results. They should have something like a Child Study Team, or whatever they call it there that reviews students and tries to help them. As always as in any system, balls are dropped and kids can be lost, so that is why you have to be so persistent. 

And of course J needs help too, in a relationship like that. 

Glad you posted. I think it's good for people to know that this happens and that you just have to be the Kool Aid man sometimes to get results (how he used to just crash through walls). Even if it's not your kid-if no one else cares about them, I always thinks it means that we need to care more. It's harder than not caring at all, but can make a huge difference in many lives.


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## sunfluer (May 12, 2009)

Although, not sure if you could get a meeting if you're not legally responsible for the child. If you suspect child abuse, you can contact CPS. Any concerned person can make the call.


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## sunfluer (May 12, 2009)

Neglect is also abuse...


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## Mandalay (Apr 21, 2008)

I think that DCFS or CPS needs to be called again. And if they do nothing, then call again. And again. And again. And if they still do nothing, then I would move up the ladder (to whoever that may be) until someone does something.

Turturing/killing small animals is one of the traits linked to adult serial killers. Not saying this child is going to grow up to be a Charles Manson prodigy, but she needs help. Quickly.

I would assume that if the child was just standing in front of your dog with no reaction to how he was behaving (barking, growling, running toward her) then it was definitely something the child was giving off to make him act that way. A look or maybe just an attitude. 

I would start filing complaints against psychomom with the police as well starting with leaving her kid outside in the middle of the night. This may help DCFS decide that this kid needs help.


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## Daisy1986 (Jul 9, 2008)

WHOA!







Read the OP with my mouth open! Yikes! 

Agree with what everyone is telling you to do. Do not turn your back on this. That was my thought too, school counselor, get this little girl on their radar. 

It may be that the parents are idoits, and never taught her how to treat animals. I could never see my boys going as far as this little girl did, but they need to be taught at an early age, or yea they will hurt an animals accidently. Kids, and animals should always be supervised. 

Also, yes, I have experienced situations, with dogs, where I feel they sense bad intentions.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

> Originally Posted By: Daisy1986WHOA!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Me too, holy







!!!! Stomping puppies and torturing cats at 5 years old sounds like a HUGE warning sign that something is terribly wrong. I'd be much less concerned about Rayden's reaction to her than about trying to get this kid some help.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

I called C, told her I was worried after what happened. J's ex-wife had filed a petition with the courts that their children not be allowed around the spawn and her mother. unfortunately, it was denied for being "without grounds" they had a child advocate talk to the girl and she reported that she was "sad and upset because everyone seems to be mad at her"

even with J backing up the story about the kitten and the rabbit, they tossed it out. Psycho's attorney also brought up the possibility of harassment charges because of repeated calls to DCS. 

so, in the end, it looks like all that came of it was his ex getting a stern warning from the judge and for now J and the psycho are broken up again.


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## Minnieski (Jan 27, 2009)

I don't think this is a problem of her not learning how to be around animals, it sounds like sociopathy to me. Serial killers often start with animals.


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## SunCzarina (Nov 24, 2000)

The little girl is crying out for help. Future psycho, maybe. Don't hold your breath on the school. My son had a psycho in his class 2 years ago - this kid went around hitting and biting other kids, destroying toys and other kids work. You could see it in his eyes he was just a bad kid. What did the school do, have the mother come in to observe his behavior. Add on a special ed teacher to work with him, January rolled on and finally the mother pulled him from preschool becuase it was too much hassle for her to come in to observe him. 

What you should do, I don't know but it doesn't bode well for all the pets of the little friends she might go visit becuase the friends don't know better...


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## aubie (Dec 22, 2008)

Wow...and she's FIVE?? This is beyond







up!

I'd warn them to be on the lookout for hurt/dead wild animlas like birds and mice or even neighbors pets. If she can't get a hold of a pet she may go after these....if so they need to watch out, document it and call child services or a child psychologist and show it to them. 

ETA: And I wouldn't worry about Rayden's behavior, I'd just never take him there again. I think he may have sensed any form of intent or bad vibes, just as he would off someone wanting to do you harm.


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## sunfluer (May 12, 2009)

<span style='font-size: 11pt'>Who's to say what causes this child to appear so maladjusted. Something is very wrong and it can be a combination of factors, ie, brain chemestry vs upbringing. The child needs help in a hurry. Let the professionals figure out what's going on behind the child's eyes. Someone needs to put the energy into getting this kid help pronto.</span>


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## Daisy1986 (Jul 9, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: MinnieskiI don't think this is a problem of her not learning how to be around animals, it sounds like sociopathy to me. Serial killers often start with animals.


Yes, Could be. Hope no one ever ever says hindsight is 20/20, because this does seem to be the hindsight. 

I am just not ready to jump to that. All children are innocent. The OP posts are taken 2nd and 3rd hand stories, that she did not witness herself. (Not saying you are wrong OP, this girl does need help). 

BUT she is also being raised half







by a troubled mother, who leaves her outside at 1 AM. 

This little girl needs a break, caring and help. Not labled a serial killer already. I know it is possible. BUT I like to believe no one is beyond help...Plus...female serial killers are VERY rare, if we want to go with that line of thinking. It is more of a personality disorder. 

NOT saying it is OK, what happened to the puppies, the kitty, or the bunny. (Can we at least keep her away from animals, geez.)


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

can't speak for other states but here in michigan cps, dcfs, ss...all mental health care providers, all social service agencies, and most hospital er's are completely overwhelmed. people who work for these services/agencies are overworked, underpaid, understaffed, undersupervised. mental health help is getting harder and harder to get, and it was already hard to get (competent/appropriate), in the first place. 

it is also getting more and more difficult and dangerous to intervene in these situations. so many people have just gone crazy, lawsuit obsessed, violent. 

i think you do have to call the appropriate agencies, school counselors/principal, etc., and i think you have to keep calling if nothing is done. how involved you feel you can safely get is going to have to be your judgement call. i can say that i would distance myself from people with these kinds of behaviors and problems, it's all really bad energy.

jmho.


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## Mandalay (Apr 21, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: Dainerra so, in the end, it looks like all that came of it was his ex getting a stern warning from the judge and for now J and the psycho are broken up again.


I would talk to J and C and start a notebook on everything they tell you has happened as well as what you have witnessed yourself with as many dates as you can. Since you are not directly involved with this child, it is not going to be easy. It is also not something that you HAVE to do, but if it were me knowing that this kid was in this bad of shape mentally and that no one was helping her, I'd be doing it. Maybe someone else will notice, at school or something, and you can stand up and show them what you have been trying to tell them.

J and psychomom may be broken up now, but if she is anything like other psychowomen she will be back. I would tell him to be careful. If he rejects her, which is what one would hope he would do, but people don't always see reality when they are in his shoes (I know this from experience, as most of us also probably know) she could get REALLY nutty.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

oh she has been in and out so many times over the past 2 years it would make your head spin. if he would stop thinking with his *CENSORED* and more with his brain... he knows she is bi-polar, hasn't taken meds in years. also KNOWs that all of his friends won't even speak to him anymore. but within a few days of breaking up, he starts saying how much he misses her. then it's stopping by her house for a few hours and next thing you know, she's moved back in.

he does take the influence on his kids seriously at least. and he sends her and the girl back home when he has visitations. 
from what C said, the judge has thrown everything else. CPS came and testified that they found her to be a suitable mother and the child to be normal. the child advocate told the court that the only trouble was that "the little girl is very sad and scared. she thinks that all these adults are out to hurt her and mommy" 

so, the whole family got a stern warning from the judge that they were treading on thin ice and that if it continues he would encourage the Psycho to file harassment charges against them.

so, it looks like until something BAD happens, that everyone is turning their backs.

oh, and the animal things were all played off by the judge/CPS/counselor as being just accidents.


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## AnnaRiley (Feb 14, 2008)

There was a child in the hometown where I grew up that was BAD plain bad. He was moved from school to school because no one could handle him and kids were afraid of him. Finally, they decided to place him in the elementary school where my mother was the principal. There was a teacher at this school that could work wonders with children with problems. He was placed in her class. This kid was her first failure at getting through to a child with problems. At age 21, this "child" murdered an 81 year old helpless woman in her home after knocking on her door and asking for a glass of water.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

I have no advice at all, but this is terrifying. I would not worry about Rayden's reaction, it sounds totally clear headed.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

all of this behavior is very pathologic and dangerous. being involved with these people exposes you to that and, depending on the degree you allow yourself to become involved, brings that energy into your life.

perhaps no one is "turning their backs" but only operating within the confines of the law.


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## Mandalay (Apr 21, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: Dainerra he knows she is bi-polar, hasn't taken meds in years.


You know that show, _Intervention_? 

I wonder if she'd be willing to appear in a "documentary" on being bipolar? Hmmmm


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

OK, plan B. Do an intervention with J. Get his friends and family together, get a professional involved & have your surprise meeting. He's a friend and you are all concerned about him and his child.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

it's not his child. just hers. He doesn't let his kids have any interaction with her at all anymore.

his family has nothing to do with the GF either. not since she went psycho at a wedding reception and accused his cousin of wanting to have sex with him. punched her in the face and spent the night in jail.

as I said, the only reason he has anything to do with her is because he is thinking with his *censored*


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## Debbieg (Jun 7, 2009)

I think someone has to have a serious talk with J.
Why is he willing to marry a woman when he won't even let his children near her daughter?

I agree there is something very evil about this situation. Your dog is spot on.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

oh believe me, marriage isn't in his mind. 
plus, if he marries her, he will lose his house since the land it's on belongs to his mother.

he's literally just doing the physical thing. also, he is 35 and she is 22. hmmmm
I do really feel for him. and in the time frames taht she is gone, he is surrounded by friends and family at his house. she comes in and BOOM they can't disappear fast enough. usually, we find out they are back together when he stops answering phone calls.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

well you just can't do anything about the choices other people make.


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## Riley's Mom (Jun 7, 2007)

I agree with those who said this child is in desperate need of help, has some kind of sociopathic or other disorder going on and believe without a single doubt that she is D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S and that someone needs to find a way to get her some help. Reading the orignal post literally gave me the willies.

The school she'll be attending SHOULD be quite concerned and school authorities SHOULD be paying attention. They should be concerned about the welfare of the other children and even the adults working there. This child has a need to hurt live things. The animals have been removed from the house (thank you to that person!) so she doesn't have an outlet there anymore. I don't think removing them from her immediate living arrangement is going to cure the problem. She may go looking for animals elsewhere and/or find a child to harm if an animal isn't readily available. So, removing it saved some animals but may have shifted her focus so that she goes elsewhere looking to fulfill her needs.

This is the kind of child you see in the horror movies that many people believe can't possibly exist, that it's "just Hollywood"

To me, this is also the kind of child that lives in this world and is living proof that this kind of horror is for real. You just have to watch the news and occasionally this scenario will be front page news after the child/person has killed and they start talking about the killer's background. Then you'll see interviews with people just like the OP who will be making comments about how they knew about her killing animals when she was a child and other strange/odd/scary/different behaviors they saw.


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## big_dog7777 (Apr 6, 2004)

This was a therapy dog, right??? He passed evaluations to be registered as a therapy dog, and then was active for a length of time? I would take this as 100% proof that this is not unwarranted fear aggression from him. The girl is dangerous, pure and simple. So is the mother. When you mix her upbringing and current living situation with her genetic disposition to mental illness that has likely been passed from mother to daughter you end up with a very dangerous highly combustible cocktail. I also feel that due to the wide range and varying degrees of bi-polar that exist much of today's mental health community are quick to slap the bi-polar label onto individuals that may have other illnesses. I have the misfortune of having a child with someone diagnosed as bi-polar. The laundry list of issues this woman has is staggering - and I think bi-polar is the tip of the iceberg (either that, or the other people that I know who are diagnosed as bi-polar are on the opposite end of the spectrum in regards to severity). When not on medication, she is a danger to everyone and everything - and quite frankly a nightmare. 

Stay away from the girl. Stay away from the mother. If the guy insists on being with this woman, stay away from him. If the mother is forced to share real estate with the son then stay away from her unless she comes to you. This is a tinder box, and he's not your son and the little girl is not your daughter. The son is a grown man, and if he has not walked away from this insane woman than he will not. The system is set up to keep children with their mothers (especially when there is no father) almost at all cost. Is this cold, yes. Is it also the truth? YES.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

also you should check those "really do feel for him" feelings, this man is just plain foolish. no one with good mental health would feel for him. these kinds of people create their own problems and those problems will (have?) spill over into your life too.


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## Dainerra (Nov 14, 2003)

by feel for him, I kinda mean feel sorry that he's such a dumb *censored*


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

i knew exactly what you meant. i have trouble feeling sorry for people who do stupid things. i feel sorry for a mother who doesn't have enough money to feed her children. i feel sorry for the man who goes to fight for our country and comes back with no legs or arms or worse. i feel sorry for the child who has to endure these kinds of stupidity and has her life ruined before it even has a chance to really to begin. i think it unwise to feel sorry for people who cause their own problems. it's a misuse of feeling sorry.


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