# Am I doing an injustice to my dog?



## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Hello. I'm new here and was just visiting. I have an almost 2 yr old GSD, Oliver. I got him as a puppy and have loved having him ever since. 

My job consists of 12 hour days where I leave at 4:30 in the morning and return at 5:30 in the afternoon, Monday thru Friday. Saturdays I'll usually work 5am to noon.

This gives me approximately 4 hours a night to eat, relax, play with him, etc.

My girlfriends always says she feels bad for the dog because he doesn't get everything he needs from me. The conversation came up of finding a new home for him and we haven't made a decision yet but it came up and made me start thinking about it.

Am I doing harm to my dog?

Any feedback, good or bad, is appreciated. Thank you.


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## huntergreen (Jun 28, 2012)

how is your dog doing with tis routine? that is the way to judge imho.


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## Ace GSD (May 30, 2014)

huntergreen said:


> how is your dog doing with tis routine? that is the way to judge imho.


Agree and wow you are a hard worker...


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

He seems to do ok with it. He gets pretty hyper at times, but he's a shepherd. They love to play.

What would be some signs that he isn't ok with it?


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

Hmmmmm... I wonder how much this has to do with the girlfriend not wanting the GSD...


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Sunflowers said:


> Hmmmmm... I wonder how much this has to do with the girlfriend not wanting the GSD...


 
I've wondered that myself....


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

There are many, many members on this forum who work a lot and still have German Shepherds.
If when you're with him you provide quality time, and the dog seems happy and well-adjusted, it certainly is better than a lot of dogs get.

If you think he should get more stimulation while you are at work, you can always have the girlfriend come over and play fetch with him :wild:

Or find a high school student or someone trustworthy who can come and give him some attention.

One more question: did you get the dog before you got the girlfriend?


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Haha, my girlfriend and I work at the same place so she couldn't do it. My mom goes over on lunch sometimes and lets him out. She works a few minutes from my house.

Has anyone else run into the problem where their significant other didn't want to keep the other one's dog?


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

Is he crated for 12 hrs?

That is a long time to be alone. Crated or not. Have you considered hiring a dog walker?


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

My first dog as an adult lived through grad school & work & many years of work, some with long hours. He was a happy dog. He loved long runs when he got them. If I knew then, what I know now, he would have got more attention, more long walks, different training, etc. He lived to be 16. 

Consider how much more time you'd have for your dog if you rehomed the GF.  

In short, I'd keep the dog. I'd also try to find more time for the dog if I were feeling like he wasn't getting enough.

The big excuse on CraigsList out here seems to be "we don't have the time to give him what he deserves." I'm suspicious that there's more behind these posts.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

No, he is not crated. I agree it is a long time to be alone. That's kind of what sparked me to ask for everyone's general opinion. I love the dog but I don't want to do him harm.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

middleofnowhere said:


> My first dog as an adult lived through grad school & work & many years of work, some with long hours. He was a happy dog. He loved long runs when he got them. If I knew then, what I know now, he would have got more attention, more long walks, different training, etc. He lived to be 16.
> 
> Consider how much more time you'd have for your dog if you rehomed the GF.
> 
> ...


 
Unfortunatlely, it may come to this... "
Consider how much more time you'd have for your dog if you rehomed the GF.  " sadly....


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## Ace GSD (May 30, 2014)

wowowo this thread turned into GF vs Dog real quick lol


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## Steve Strom (Oct 26, 2013)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Unfortunatlely, it may come to this... "
> Consider how much more time you'd have for your dog if you rehomed the GF.  " sadly....


Ha, good thing there's no chance at all she may read this.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Stop! How about talking to your GF and asking her for her true feelings? Most of us have full time jobs. If you can't make time for a dog, don't plan on having kids! What exactly does she think the dog needs from you?

I get home at 6pm, eat dinner, do laundry, work out, do some training and then it's time to make the animals breakfast and my food for the next day. I bet my dogs get less than an hour of attention per day during the week. The weekends? Training so they get more time. Mostly, after some exercise, your dog is just content to be with you. They don't need your undivided attention for hours on end and, IMO unless there are facts missing, your dog is just fine with you with absolutely no need to rehome.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

And if you rehome the dog you had before the girlfriend...because of the girlfriend...I don't have any use for you.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Believe me Jax, Ollie willl not get rehomed if I don't have to. The original reason I posted this on this forum was to find out how much time others are spending with their shepherds as far as running them and playing with them. If I'm not doing my dog harm and there are others like me who have limited time during the week, I'm good with that answer. 

This in no way is a way for me to make an excuse to give him up. He's an awesome, beautiful dog that I take pride in. 

I just want to make sure I'm not hurting him by being away, that's all.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

On a side note, I've been trying to upload pics of him, but the **** computer won't let me do it. 

Maybe I'll try it from my phone....


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## Steve Strom (Oct 26, 2013)

Two of the most well adjusted, happy, solid dogs I've ever owned were home alone all day.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

Do you play with him every night? Is he with you when you are relaxing? Does he live in the house as a member of your family? Do you love him? (OBVIOUSLY YOU DO!!  )

If you answered Yes to all of the above, you are doing just fine. 

Luckily my husband can come home at lunch to let the dogs out to potty but it wasn't always the case and our dogs did just fine (as adults) without being let out for an extended period of time. Do you know what dogs do when we aren't there? They sleep.


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## My2shepherds (Jun 10, 2014)

I leave for work at 6:30 -7 a.m. and do not get home till 6 p.m. at the earliest M-Fri then it is a mad rush to fix supper for us and the dogs, clean up the mess, play with them a bit and get ready for the next day. I too feel I never have enough time to spend with them but they are well adjusted to the routine and do just fine. I would agree that maybe you need to clarify your girlfriend's intentions and some discussion needs to take place between you.... Would your dog be asking you to rehome her if he could speak?


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## Stonevintage (Aug 26, 2014)

A dog walker would be the perfect solution for your boy. Especially at his young age. It's a simple fix for your and your girlfriends concerns and your pup will have a break in his day to look forward to on a regular basis.


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

I find it a bit sad that we are vilifying this girlfriend. 

Maybe she us genuinely concerned about the amount if quality time the dog is getting. OP states he gets maybe 4 hours at home with the dog most days. I can guarantee that the entire 4 hours is NOT spent on dog specific things. Guys gotta eat, shower, watch TV, be with girlfriend. 

Maybe girlfriend actually had a point. I am not saying that OP needs to rehome the dog. But how about having an adult conversation about ways to improve the dogs life. Midday dog walker, dog daycare, there are ways to help. 

Lots of us work full time jobs. Most if us wish we had more time to spend with our dogs. Maybe, just maybe, the girlfriend actually has the dogs best interests at heart.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

That's why I suggested he actually talk to the girl. My second comment was just a general statement due to the conversation, not a slam on the girlfriend! Just to make that clear.

I think sometimes people have unreasonable expectations of how much time you need in order to have an animal. I see some statements on the board that seem like if you aren't retired or jobless, you have business owning a pet. Most of us work and juggle our schedules. Some of us train for sport so we have to make extra time. Some people enjoy outdoors activities like hiking with their dogs. And some just want to play in the backyard. Everyone has different ideas of how much time you should have to spend with an animal. But look at the dog in front of you. Does he seem content?


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

I agree with the others - if your dog seems happy and well-adjusted, no need to rehome. Many of us are away from home for long hours, and we make time to look after their needs, and have them as a priority in our lives. 

I'm usually away for 10 hrs during the day - what with my commute and running errands and all. The dogs are usually home alone (in the house) during this time, and they are perfectly fine. If your dog becomes destructive, or a nuissance barker, that would be a sign that they are not getting enough stimulation/attention/exercise. 

When I can, I bring my dogs with me to work, and they hang out in the van. I removed the back seats so that there is a large area in the back for their comfort. They get breaks where they get to play and get attention from co-workers who come out for the break, and they get off-leash walks and play time at lunch time in the fields and woods around my work. Have been leaving them home or bringing them to work for years, and they are both fine with it.


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

The OPsays his mother comes over midday to see the dog. I absolutely see no problem with this dog's life.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Does your dog have horrible behavioral issues? Is it eating your couch, pooping in your shoes, tearing holes in the walls, barking non-stop 24/7? 

There isn't a rule of thumb to follow that states how much of your time your dog needs. It all depends on the specific dog. Some dogs are fine when left to their own devices through out a long day. Some dogs would remodel the home within the first hour.


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## crickets (Dec 19, 2014)

I recently had a situation about dog vs boyfriend. It started out as, "he kinda makes me nervous", to "we can't go here, do this, or whatever, because of the dog" there was even a period of "poor dog needs more time".

Guess what, I'm an old lady, I'm not stupid, I kept the dog...

It was about control.

My 2 cents


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## crickets (Dec 19, 2014)

Oh yeah, not only did I keep my Ivan, I got a pup that I had been wanting. 

Best decision I have made in a while.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

He used to chew on things when he was a pup but I attributed that to teething. At my moms house, he barks more than usual but at my house, not so much. I'd say his behavior isn't bad at all. When you want to relax, he may try and play ball a bit but eventuallly he'll just plop down by my feet.

My GF has a little french bulldog who is, needless to say, a night and day difference from Ollie as far as energy and size.

Just to answer a couple of questions....


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

RobBlueMaro said:


> He used to chew on things when he was a pup but I attributed that to teething. At my moms house, he barks more than usual but at my house, not so much. I'd say his behavior isn't bad at all. When you want to relax, he may try and play ball a bit but eventuallly he'll just plop down by my feet.


It sounds as though your dog handles the length of time on his own fine.


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## Christieb24 (Nov 11, 2014)

RobBlueMaro said:


> He used to chew on things when he was a pup but I attributed that to teething. At my moms house, he barks more than usual but at my house, not so much. I'd say his behavior isn't bad at all. When you want to relax, he may try and play ball a bit but eventuallly he'll just plop down by my feet.
> 
> My GF has a little french bulldog who is, needless to say, a night and day difference from Ollie as far as energy and size.
> 
> Just to answer a couple of questions....


Hey Rob: My thoughts are if a dog feels loved and taken care of they will adjust to whatever you expect of them. You obviously love him so I wouldn't rehome unless it's your last choice. You seem to be doing what you can and your Mom popping over at lunch is a break for him. I think he's adjusted his life to YOURS which is what most animals do. Give him the time you can and give your girlfriend some time too lol..Good luck


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## Lark (Jan 27, 2014)

I think my husband had to adjust to my GSD, esp because he had a small dog. now he is attached to my dog too, and I had a hard adjustment getting used to his horrible little animal. Time really helped us, but getting rid of either dog was never an option so we knew we had to adapt. If your GF is not used to dogs it might take her awhile to warm up.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Finally got the pictures working. Wanted to show him off a little bit. This is my boy, Ollie.


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## marreromcp (Oct 15, 2014)

All that I can think about is "And the cats and the cradle and the silver spoon!"




RobBlueMaro said:


> Hello. I'm new here and was just visiting. I have an almost 2 yr old GSD, Oliver. I got him as a puppy and have loved having him ever since.
> 
> My job consists of 12 hour days where I leave at 4:30 in the morning and return at 5:30 in the afternoon, Monday thru Friday. Saturdays I'll usually work 5am to noon.
> 
> ...


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## gabyeddo (Aug 14, 2013)

I go to school from 6am-8pm 2days a week and left my female in the crate. At 2-3pm, I have someone come by to let her out of the crate for 10mins, but no potty until I get home. When I get home I train her OB 30 mins before her meal. She is 1 1/2year now. I've been doing this for 6 months.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

gabyeddo said:


> I go to school from 6am-8pm 2days a week and left my female in the crate. At 2-3pm, I have someone come by to let her out of the crate for 10mins, but no potty until I get home. When I get home I train her OB 30 mins before her meal. She is 1 1/2year now. I've been doing this for 6 months.


 Um, sorry, 14 hrs in a crate w/10 min. break is bordering on animal abuse.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

gabyeddo said:


> I go to school from 6am-8pm 2days a week and left my female in the crate. At 2-3pm, I have someone come by to let her out of the crate for 10mins, but no potty until I get home. When I get home I train her OB 30 mins before her meal. She is 1 1/2year now. I've been doing this for 6 months.


This is fine. Your dog is happy, you are happy. it's two days out of seven. 

The OPs dog is fine.


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## Liesje (Mar 4, 2007)

OP, if your dog seems happy, he gets exercise and gets out when you can, he is not having accidents in the house or destroying the house....then I would not worry. You have a beautiful dog, he looks really good. Every dog is different as far as what they need. There are so many dogs on the street or piled up in shelters or being kept in truly neglectful situations, I would hardly think bad thoughts about someone who is providing a warm, safe home with food, water, exercise, and people time even if it's just a few hours a day. If he is not in a crate, he has space to move around and you can get him things to chew and interactive toys. He doesn't know any different so as long as you are not seeing behavioral issues, I would not worry.


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## Castlemaid (Jun 29, 2006)

O come on! 2 days a week of longer time in the crate is a crime? Let's not get all dramatic. I've had to work late once in a while and back when i was still crating my (then younger) dogs, hey, they survived. We don't all have the priviledge of coming and going as we wish all day every day. 

The point is, people work, dogs adjust to our schedules. I bet most of our dogs get more attention, more exercise, more play, more interaction, more training and more fun than most people who feel that a fenced yard is all a dog needs to be happy.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

I have to say my dogs are pretty boring. I've taken the day off and all they do is sleep unless I get them moving. I would feel more uncomfortable if they were in a crate for 12 hours every day.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

gabyeddo said:


> I* go to school from 6am-8pm* 2days a week and left my female in the crate. At 2-3pm, I have someone come by to let her out of the crate for 10mins, *but no potty until I get home*. When I get home I train her OB 30 mins before her meal. She is 1 1/2year now. I've been doing this for 6 months.





GatorBytes said:


> Um, sorry, 14 hrs in a crate w/10 min. break is bordering on animal abuse.


NO bathroom break, exercise or human interaction for over 14hrs. confined to a crate is wrong
oops. sorry, the dog got 10 mins. bladder and bowels busting for another 5-6 hrs waiting till human gets home. brutal



middleofnowhere said:


> This is fine. Your dog is happy, you are happy. it's two days out of seven.


2 days of neglect is still neglect



Castlemaid said:


> O come on! 2 days a week of longer time in the crate is a crime? Let's not get all dramatic.
> The point is, people work, dogs adjust to our schedules. I bet most of our *dogs get more attention, more exercise, more play, more interaction, more training and more fun than most people who feel that a fenced yard is all a dog needs to be happy*.


Why do you think this in this instance, the person is in school, dogs need consistency...does this person have a job too? Speculating the dog is fine b/c some have had to work late in their lives does not make neglect on a regular basis acceptable.

8hrs in a crate is max. they need an hour at least of some type of exercise/stimulation/interaction.

otherwise they are a piece of furniture


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## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

If I had to leave her that many hours, I would at least pen the dog.





gabyeddo said:


> I go to school from 6am-8pm 2days a week and left my female in the crate. At 2-3pm, I have someone come by to let her out of the crate for 10mins, but no potty until I get home. When I get home I train her OB 30 mins before her meal. She is 1 1/2year now. I've been doing this for 6 months.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

2 days of long crating does not make a piece of furniture and is not neglect. That's a bit fanatical. My dogs are in a crate from 7am to 5pm. Most people work regular 8 hours shifts with drive time.


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## huntergreen (Jun 28, 2012)

i think you should consider rehoming. you might miss the the girl friend for awhile, but they are easy enough to get over. loosing you dog, not so much.


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

Like said there are a lot of dogs that don't have it that good!!! I would say your girlfriend's dog is kept in much the same way if you work together!! Maybe just because he is bigger, and all? My boys were fine loose in the house (after all house breaking) and my little pit follows the same schedule and is fine!! I agree, they sleep most of the day!!! I come home at lunch and moo evidently at least changes up where he sleeps! He'll come out from different rooms!!


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Your dog seems to be doing fine. Someone else thinks your dog isn't getting enough whatever, and maybe you aren't being fair to him. Well, lets consider some rather yucky facts:

Let's say you decide to rehome this dog that you love, so he could have a better situation. How are you going to find someone who LOVES dogs, wants a young adult, doesn't already have one, and so on and so forth?

How can you guaranty that the guy at the other end of the phone isn't just well-versed at picking up free or cheap dogs for bait dogs or to sell to research labs. These people have zero problem telling you what you want to here, and they know exactly what you want to hear. 

How do you know that the person will have any more time than you have to be with the pup. They only work 8 hours a day, but they aren't telling you that they spend every evening at their kids' extra-curricular stuff, or that they travel regularly for their job and the dog will be boarded 25% of the time. 

There is a lot of unfairness in the world. Usually we don't have to go looking for it with a magnifying glass. Unfair is giving up on a dog that you love because you think someone else will do better for him. If you love the dog, keep the dog. GSDs generally do perfectly well with our leftovers. Leftover time, leftover money, leftover food, leftover space. They do not need their own private Jacuzzi to be happy. They need to know that when You come home, you pay some attention to them, you give them a little time, a tid bit, a walk, a tv program. 

I guess if you can be 100% sure that the person you give the dog to will be better to it than you are, then it isn't the end of the world. I just don't know how you get there though.


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## gabyeddo (Aug 14, 2013)

Wow! I feel like I'm getting hammered here.
Well I don't know what to tell you guys to make it better. But she's happy with this routine. And beside of these two days, she gets to track and do protection work(I do OB 7days before her meal, 3-4days tracking, and 2 days bite work.)
I feel like that she is used to potty schedule at 6am and 8pm because that what she does in the rest of 5 days. I used to have dog sitters come at noon, but they played with my dog and made her want to interact with everyone outside of the pack. So, no more pet sitters.
She's happy and has better focus in OB, but that doesn't mean I really want to do this to her at all. It has to be done this way until I work my stuff out.
That's all I can say


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## Mikelia (Aug 29, 2012)

My dogs regularly go from 8am to 6pm, I work 9-5 and have an hour driving time. My 8 month old pup can now handle this too. And every once in a while they do have 14 hour days between when I leave and when I get home. They are none the worse for wear. I feel bad but life is what it is. My dogs are happy. It is impossible during the week to give them the time I want to but we do as much as we can and do fun things on the weekends. And when I feel bad I remind myself what true neglect is. So many dogs even in my own area are tied to a dog house, or left in a barn, or even a cage in a basement 24 hours a day. They might get food and water every other day. I think of the dog I used to know that sat in a kennel with her pinch collar on for 23 hours and 55 minutes per day. She went out once (yes once) a day for less than five minutes to go to the bathroom. Surprise surprise one day she attacked another dog and animal control took her. My friend was the shelter worker who held her as she was euthanized. At least the last few days she was alive she received regular attention, potty breaks and was held with love for her last breath. When I think of all the dogs who live their lives like Lacey did, I think my dogs are pretty lucky and would trade long days to a life like that any day.


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## Nigel (Jul 10, 2012)

Castlemaid said:


> I agree with the others - if your dog seems happy and well-adjusted, no need to rehome. Many of us are away from home for long hours, and we make time to look after their needs, and have them as a priority in our lives.
> 
> I'm usually away for 10 hrs during the day - what with my commute and running errands and all. The dogs are usually home alone (in the house) during this time, and they are perfectly fine. If your dog becomes destructive, or a nuissance barker, that would be a sign that they are not getting enough stimulation/attention/exercise.
> 
> When I can, I bring my dogs with me to work, and they hang out in the van. I removed the back seats so that there is a large area in the back for their comfort. They get breaks where they get to play and get attention from co-workers who come out for the break, and they get off-leash walks and play time at lunch time in the fields and woods around my work. Have been leaving them home or bringing them to work for years, and they are both fine with it.


Taking them to work is a good idea, especially if you have a vehicle set up for it. I do it occassionally when I know I'll be out in a plow truck most of the day, not much exercise, but they enjoy the window. 

Would it be possible to bring him with you a couple days a week and interact at lunch/break? He'd probably enjoy the rides too.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

gabyeddo said:


> Wow! I feel like I'm getting hammered here.
> Well I don't know what to tell you guys to make it better.
> y



You are FINE! Only one person thought otherwise. 2 extended days per week is FINE.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

gabyeddo said:


> Wow! I feel like I'm getting hammered here.
> Well I don't know what to tell you guys to make it better. But she's happy with this routine. And beside of these two days, she gets to track and do protection work(I do OB 7days before her meal, *3-4days tracking, and 2 days bite work.*)
> I feel like that she is used to *potty schedule at 6am and 8pm because that what she does in the rest of 5 days*. I used to have dog sitters come at noon, but they played with my dog and made her want to interact with everyone outside of the pack. So, no more pet sitters.
> She's happy and has better focus in OB, but that doesn't mean I really want to do this to her at all. It has to be done this way until I work my stuff out.
> That's all I can say


 So she doesn't do any business while doing tracking and bite work (before or after)
Do you do this for 14 hrs.?

There are health implications to this kind of elimination schedule. Hold it for 14 hrs. yourself. Then decide if this is reasonable.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

14 hours is a long time. Some dogs seem to have no difficulty with that length of time between potty breaks. I prefer to give mine access to the outside, or leave them outside in an secure enclosure with a dog house and straw when it gets cold, while I am gone. But then my schedule is so crazy that it wouldn't be fair in that it is never the same two days running.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Since we have one person that keeps repeating how "bad" this is, I'm going to be repeating how absolutely OK I think it is. I'm with the people here who think you are doing fine with your dog. Yes 14 hours is a long time but it happens two days a week. When I had an older guy and the dog I was training and training was 3 hours away, the older guy got left for 10 or more hours those saturdays. He was fine.


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## gabyeddo (Aug 14, 2013)

GatorBytes
She has never gone #1or 2 in the training field before. Hopefully she will never go during the time I work her. 
But I walk her outside of training field before and after I work her giving her chances, but don't dare go in the training field. If the dog is sick and go during training, it's understandable.

I've been keeping track of how many time she does her business in one day since she was 8 weeks old. She went 3-4times a day when she was young. 5-6 times when she had Giadia(parasite). Now, she goes now two times(pee and poo in the morning and evening) a day. One time I took her to dog seminar on weekend and worked her all three phases, she didn't go for 1and 1/2day. 
It's like she has her own schedule. If she does something different, that means she is sick or there's some thing wrong with her.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

all I want to say to the OP is that your dog is simply BEAUTIFUL. keep him.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

While I don't see an issue for containment for extended periods if the need arises or a couple days a week, I do think that keeping that routine daily whether it's needed or not might not be healthy for a dog. I can't imagine having to hold it for 12-14 hours a day. I would love to only let mine out 2x a day, but that would never work. I would also be concerned about health issues, concerning the bladder.


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## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Hello. I'm new here and was just visiting. I have an almost 2 yr old GSD, Oliver. I got him as a puppy and have loved having him ever since.
> 
> My job consists of 12 hour days where I leave at 4:30 in the morning and return at 5:30 in the afternoon, Monday thru Friday. Saturdays I'll usually work 5am to noon.
> 
> ...


 I had to work 3 jobs to cover Shadows vet bills and Sabs swimming. Several people told me that was crazy, I should get rid of the dogs. 
I got rid of the people instead, and eventually things settled down and I got back to one job, 10 hours a day. The dogs were fine. It has come to my attention, with the numerous dogs that have traipsed through my life that left to their own devices dogs sniff, pee, eat and sleep. It is we humans who need to do stuff.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Thank you all very much for the feedback. I do feel much better about the situation, and I have some ammunition on my side now. I apologize for starting this topic and getting people fired up.

I have one question still....What does OP mean? I keep hearing people refer to others or myself as OP. What is that?


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## huntergreen (Jun 28, 2012)

op= original poster. 

one thing that does come to mind is there may be a risk of bladder infection with extended times between peeing when older. might want to check with vet on that. i am not really sure if that is a concern or not.


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## Christieb24 (Nov 11, 2014)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Finally got the pictures working. Wanted to show him off a little bit. This is my boy, Ollie.


Beautiful boy Obviously well taken care of and look at those white teeth!! Awesome


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

*Hi again everyone!*

Hey guys. I know it's been a while but wanted to provide a follow up to this. My girlfriend and I have tried to work it out and it has finally come out that she doesn't like Ollie. She's still convinced that when I come home, I need to spend all of my time with him, running him and playing ball with him. She has completely shut down the idea that together, her and I can raise Ollie and take care of him. She wants nothing to do with him, ever. She wants me to get rid of my dog so that her and her dog can live with me. Last night, everything kind of came to a head and I now have a choice, him or her. I have a fun weekend lined up for myself!!


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## WolfsOwner (Jan 16, 2015)

OH WOW, I am so sorry for the ultimatum. That's truly unfair. My first instinct is to say, choose the pup, he has never made you choose...and you haven't asked her to kick her furry friend out!!! However, that isn't rational I suppose. What are you thinking?


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Oh wow. Heartbreaking.

Ya know, it's been my observation that if your partner resents something you love that is positive (hobby, dog, sport) there is something deeper that is wrong in the relationship. Ultimatums, unless due to something like drug addiction or cheating, are never a good sign for a loving long term relationship.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

When someone really and truly loves you they will help nurture that which you love and makes you happy.

If you have strong feelings for your GF I suggest visiting a counselor, maybe a separation, to give the relationship a chance, but don't dump the dog, yet.

Be very honest with yourself, is this just one of more red flags......

.....From someone who has been there and made that mistake.


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## Lobo dog (Sep 19, 2014)

That's so unfair! My parents were discussing something the other day and my mom said "you need to care about what I care about" and my dad said "hey, you know that's a two way street." 

Sounds like your GF doesn't get the two way street concept. Can you picture yourself happily living without your dog? Can you see yourself 10 years from now happily with your girlfriend? 

What a horrible ultimatum. Only you know all the details of the situation, I hope you guys are able to work it out without any drastic measures taken.


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## Lobo dog (Sep 19, 2014)

Gwenhwyfair said:


> Oh wow. Heartbreaking.
> 
> Ya know, it's been my observation that if your partner resents something you love that is positive (hobby, dog, sport) there is something deeper that is wrong in the relationship. Ultimatums, unless due to something like drug addiction or cheating, are never a good sign for a loving long term relationship.
> 
> ...


Gwen said it better than I ever could!


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## BMWHillbilly (Oct 18, 2012)

Choose the pup. I have a serious problem when, in any type of relationship, that someone makes you choose between "him or her". Red flag!! I would seriously rethink a personal relationship with anyone that throws up an ultimatum.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

Whoa. Back the truck up, load her in and ship her out.

Realistically, suggest to her that you both need to take a break to sort through any decision process. This ultimatum, which IMO is jealousy and/or control. If that is what she is about you may be in a world of hurt in all decisions in future.

When I got Gator I was with a guy, we didn't live together, but he was living with me 99% of time, just not paying. Gator velcroed to me. He was jealous. I would head to the bathroom and G would wait outside the door, I could hear him trying to coax him back to him. When it came to paying for any expenses it was all on me. Walks, me. 

At first he did walk him....within a month we were coming to blows over responsibilities...He piped off "Well get rid of him, I don't want him"

So I got rid of him.

And Gator and I have been living happily together for over 9 years


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## Lark (Jan 27, 2014)

Adjusting to each other's pets was one of the more difficult aspects of our relationship, but neither of us was willing to consider rehoming so we didn't really talk about it. I know for sure if I was given that option and chose to rehome I would resent and regret it for the rest of my life. You have to make your own decision and I think either way it will stink. I would choose my dog, and I know that sounds terrible.


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## MamaofLEO (Aug 8, 2014)

That seems like a fairly easy choice to me...your pup. A true partner would _want or make the *effort*_ to work with a trainer (or at least get to "know" your dog) to make things work. That stinks.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

To answer the question posted by WolfsOwner, I don't want to get rid of Ollie. I love having him as a companion, as a friend. I come home and he is so happy to see me and be with me. Just the thought of him being with another family and never seeing him again is heartbreaking and, as stupid as it sounds, gets the water works going a little bit.

Not including the replies on this post, everyone in my personal life has said to keep Ollie. And that is what I'm leaning to.... I will resent this decision and even her dog for the rest of my life if I do this. It's just a very hard decision and the fact that she would put me in this spot just angers me beyond all belief. I realize this isn't relationship counseling, but I have given up so much for her. I have pretty much not seen my closest friends in the last year and a half, she doesn't like my mom so I haven't been in contact with my mom for a while, she doesn't like my boat so I have been trying to sell it, and now she wants me to get rid of Ollie, even though her dog will get to stay and sleep in the same bed and be a part of the family, even though we see her mom all the time and do things with her mom.

After typing all of that, I think the decision is pretty obvious....


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## Msmaria (Mar 2, 2013)

If your gf is giving you ultimatums now, just wait til she moves in. Just something to think about. . I was hoping it wasnt what it's coming down to, I was hoping she was just really concerned.

Just read all the other things she has asked you to give up. I'm glad ur planning on taking back control of your life. You will find someone who loves the same things you do because she loves you. Good relationships AREN'T that much work.


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## Stonevintage (Aug 26, 2014)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Hey guys. I know it's been a while but wanted to provide a follow up to this. My girlfriend and I have tried to work it out and it has finally come out that she doesn't like Ollie. She's still convinced that when I come home, I need to spend all of my time with him, running him and playing ball with him. She has completely shut down the idea that together, her and I can raise Ollie and take care of him. She wants nothing to do with him, ever. She wants me to get rid of my dog so that her and her dog can live with me. Last night, everything kind of came to a head and I now have a choice, him or her. I have a fun weekend lined up for myself!!


Oh man Rob, I was married for 20 years and during that time each of us brought home a stray that needed rescue. I didn't particularly like the little one he brought home because she constantly picked fights with our other two. However, our relationship was give and take with a dose of respect for the other's feelings thrown in and we made it work. That is the bottom line basis of any long term relationship. 

To me, unless your dog is aggressive, destroying the house, she is allergic or the dog is critically ill - it stays. Try to look past the dog and into a place where you can see her making future decisions on matters that involve your wants and needs. Can you "make it work" together, does she respect your feelings? She is willing to walk out of your life over a dog? Let her. Or better yet, hold up a mirror to her - tell her your dog's staying and her dog has to go and if she doesn't like it - there's the door...

It's really hard when you allow people to get very close to you and all seems good, then they start to try to change you....


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

I know I'm late to the party here, but I have to agree with those telling you to choose Ollie. If you get rid of him, you will resent your girlfriend, she will know that she truly has control over you, and you will never be your own person again... well, at least until the relationship ends.

It is not fair or healthy for someone to try to control another person this way. If she has already come between you and your friends and you and your family, I'd say you have little to lose and everything to gain by ending this relationship. I know nobody ever wants to hear that and I'm sorry you are in this situation.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

You need to get rid of her and reconnect with your mom. Maybe take your Mom and Ollie out on your boat. This is all about jealousy and control and there is no room for any of that in a healthy relationship.


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

I hate ultimatums. They are the worst kind of manipulative emotional blackmail. 

She either loves you enough to deal with a dog she does not like. Or she doesn't. If she doesn't, then she doesn't love you enough to move in. 

A partner would never ask something like that, except in certain circumstances (dog hates kids and she's pregnant). But not because she does not like the dog.


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## dhaney81 (Nov 5, 2014)

"I have pretty much not seen my closest friends in the last year and a half, she doesn't like my mom so I haven't been in contact with my mom for a while, she doesn't like my boat so I have been trying to sell it, and now she wants me to get rid of Ollie, even though her dog will get to stay and sleep in the same bed and be a part of the family, even though we see her mom all the time and do things with her mom." (Haven't figured out how to pull quotes out of a post yet)

This is alarming in every possible way. You seem to do everything she asks of you and I'm guessing/betting that it doesn't work the other way around. Pretty sure your Mom and friends don't like her either. You need to stand up for yourself and your dog, or you will be her bitch for the rest of your life.


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## alexg (Mar 22, 2013)

dhaney81 said:


> This is alarming in every possible way. You seem to do everything she asks of you and I'm guessing/betting that it doesn't work the other way around. Pretty sure your Mom and friends don't like her either. You need to stand up for yourself and your dog, or you will be her bitch for the rest of your life.



Can't be said better than that.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

dhaney81 said:


> "I have pretty much not seen my closest friends in the last year and a half, she doesn't like my mom so I haven't been in contact with my mom for a while, she doesn't like my boat so I have been trying to sell it, and now she wants me to get rid of Ollie, even though her dog will get to stay and sleep in the same bed and be a part of the family, even though we see her mom all the time and do things with her mom." (Haven't figured out how to pull quotes out of a post yet)
> 
> This is alarming in every possible way. You seem to do everything she asks of you and I'm guessing/betting that it doesn't work the other way around. Pretty sure your Mom and friends don't like her either. You need to stand up for yourself and your dog, or you will be her bitch for the rest of your life.


Wow, that's a wake up call. Thanks for putting it that way. I have never been one to do this and I don't know why I allowed it all this time. Whoever said "I bet your mom and friends don't like her either....", you're absolutely right. My mom doesn't like her and my friends usually keep that opinion to themselves until the relationship ends, but I don't think they're that fond of her either.

I've called her out on the ultimatum in the past and she says it's not an ultimatum, she'll just leave. Technically, that's an ultimatum in my book - keep the dog and I'll leave.


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## huntergreen (Jun 28, 2012)

you already know what you need to do. throw the ball back to her and let her decide what she wants.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Wow, that's a wake up call. Thanks for putting it that way. I have never been one to do this and I don't know why I allowed it all this time. Whoever said "I bet your mom and friends don't like her either....", you're absolutely right. My mom doesn't like her and my friends usually keep that opinion to themselves until the relationship ends, but I don't think they're that fond of her either.
> 
> I've called her out on the ultimatum in the past and she says it's not an ultimatum, she'll just leave. Technically, that's an ultimatum in my book - keep the dog and I'll leave.


This time follow through and let her leave. I would never trust her around the dog again.


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## dmom (Jul 2, 2009)

Even with your dog out of the equation this is not sounding like a healthy relationship. Very few of us love/like all of the things our significant others do, are interested in or people that are important to them. That being said in a healthy relationship you compromise and make room and time for each persons preferences sometimes each doing their own thing and coming back to together to enjoy the things you have in common. Think long and hard about building a life with someone who puts a wedge between you and your family though. Unless your mom is bat poop crazy and/or disrespectful to the girlfriend that is a huge red flag. I have lived with the fallout for years of my son having to make that choice to try and keep his home happy. Sadly it hasn't been enough. Relationships are supposed to be supportive not controlling.


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## blueangele (Aug 5, 2013)

Where are you located? There are probably lots of single gals on this site that already love GSD's, so you would be one step ahead ;-)


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## Girl_Loves_Hydraulics (Apr 13, 2014)

Why did the episodes of Friends where Ross hooks up with that english chick Emily and she has to change everything and is never satisfied just pop into my head? Sorry to hear you're going through this, but I think in your heart you know what time it is. It doesn't sound like she cares much about you or your opinion, and seems to care a lot about herself and her opinion. There has to be balance and I'm not sensing that from your posts. Anyone that is causing alienation between your loved ones and friends sounds all bad to me. You seem like a nice enough fellow, you should find a fellow dog lover who isn't trying to change you, and accepts you for who you are.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

Craig's List: Free to good home.

My girlfriend doesn't like my dog, so I appeal to you.
She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years. She likes to play games. Not totally trained. Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done. Stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work. Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you're down. Does not bite but she can be mean as ****! 

So........anyone interested in my 30 year old, selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend? Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed!!


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

blueangele said:


> Where are you located? There are probably lots of single gals on this site that already love GSD's, so you would be one step ahead ;-)


And the boat is an added bonus


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## blueangele (Aug 5, 2013)

Oh yeah! I forgot about the boat!!


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Hahahahaha, I got a pretty good laugh out of the last few posts. I'm in northern Illinois actually. Never considered this as a dating site :laugh:

In answer to someone elses statement, my mom has at times shown a little disrespect towards my girlfriend. In my mom's defense for doing so, my girlfriend and I have been in a similar situation before where she expressed how much she didn't want to live with Ollie. In response to this, Ollie stayed with my mom for a little while. My dad had recently passed away so my mom was ok with this, she loved having the companionship. But my mom hasn't been happy with my girlfriend since then. She has felt that if someone truly loves you, they won't change you or change the things that you have, they will adapt and make it work - a lot of the same things you guys have said. That left a little bit of a sour taste in my mom's mouth.

By the way, I really like the craigslist post that someone posted. That's pretty funny!!


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## dhaney81 (Nov 5, 2014)

You seem like a nice guy, and unfortunately she seems to be taking advantage of that. You give and she takes. Your considering her feelings in every possible way trying to make it work, and she isn't even thinking about yours in the slightest. The fact that you don't talk to your Mom or friends anymore and now she wants you to get rid of your dog couldn't make that anymore obvious. She probably doesn't like your Mom or your friends because she knows that they see through her BS. Your dog probably does too. It's hard to see that kind of stuff when you're in it I know, but I promise that it couldn't be more obvious to everyone around you who sees those things or even people just on a GSD forum. I guarantee that if you stand up for yourself, long enough for her to realize that you're not backing down, she'll respect and want you even more. If not, then at least you can have your Mom, your friends, and your dog there to support you.


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## GatorBytes (Jul 16, 2012)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Hahahahaha, I got a pretty good laugh out of the last few posts. I'm in northern Illinois actually. Never considered this as a dating site :laugh:


 Hmm. llombardo is in Illinois She loves dogs.


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## GSDKIMBER (Jan 9, 2015)

Whatever you do dont craigslist him. Im in Illinois PM me if you decide to get rid of your boy.


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## Jake and Elwood (Feb 1, 2014)

Agree with the previous posts….your gf is manipulative and is trying to control and change you. Run…..don't walk away from her. I hope you decide NOT to let her stay….even if she wants to after she hears you're keeping Ollie…….it will only delay further problems…..find a german shepherd lover!


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

GSDKimber, I appreciate your offer, but after the great feedback given by the members here, I think Ollie is going to stay. I got him after my dad passed, named him after my dad, and I am very proud of him. He is a great companion and if my girlfriend decides to leave, there will be someone who will love him as I do. 

Thank you all for the great feedback. It's going to be a rough weekend.... My fuzzy child will keep me company


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

Does that mean that boat goes out on Fox Lake? Or on the Chain?


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Thanks Lobo Dog. 

-----------------

Yikes! Yes I agree the decision is obvious.

My friend that is a boat load, like Queen Mary sized, boat load of fed flags right there.

Like GatorBytes said, load her up ship her out.

The longer you are with the wrong person the longer you are shutting the right person out of your life.

Given the history here IMHO, if I were in your shoes (and I have been) I would be doing a great deal of introspection as to why you feel the need to stay with her. In my case I was afraid of being alone. That caused me to stay in an unhappy relationship for 14 years. 

I wouldn't even fool around arguing with her about the definition of ultimatums, which is diversionary baloney she's using. I'd just tell her, we are done, good bye and don't come back.




RobBlueMaro said:


> To answer the question posted by WolfsOwner, I don't want to get rid of Ollie. I love having him as a companion, as a friend. I come home and he is so happy to see me and be with me. Just the thought of him being with another family and never seeing him again is heartbreaking and, as stupid as it sounds, gets the water works going a little bit.
> 
> Not including the replies on this post, everyone in my personal life has said to keep Ollie. And that is what I'm leaning to.... I will resent this decision and even her dog for the rest of my life if I do this. It's just a very hard decision and the fact that she would put me in this spot just angers me beyond all belief. I realize this isn't relationship counseling, but I have given up so much for her. I have pretty much not seen my closest friends in the last year and a half, she doesn't like my mom so I haven't been in contact with my mom for a while, she doesn't like my boat so I have been trying to sell it, and now she wants me to get rid of Ollie, even though her dog will get to stay and sleep in the same bed and be a part of the family, even though we see her mom all the time and do things with her mom.
> 
> After typing all of that, I think the decision is pretty obvious....


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Call your friends, go out, reconnect with the things that bring you happiness, like doing some thing fun with Ollie.

Keep your feet moving, get tired, then you will sleep better. 

You'll get through the weekend and the next and the next....

(In edit Oh and be prepared for those tantrums and/or tears she probably will have....)



RobBlueMaro said:


> GSDKimber, I appreciate your offer, but after the great feedback given by the members here, I think Ollie is going to stay. I got him after my dad passed, named him after my dad, and I am very proud of him. He is a great companion and if my girlfriend decides to leave, there will be someone who will love him as I do.
> 
> Thank you all for the great feedback. It's going to be a rough weekend.... My fuzzy child will keep me company


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## Girl_Loves_Hydraulics (Apr 13, 2014)

I'll let you borrow my a** punting boots Rob. Just ask Gwen, I've been asking her to let me break them in on stupid telemarketers for weeks now!! LOL jk and just a small jest. Gwen is right though, it's hard, but it's not a forever feeling


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Girl_Loves_Hydraulics said:


> I'll let you borrow my a** punting boots Rob. Just ask Gwen, I've been asking her to let me break them in on stupid telemarketers for weeks now!! LOL jk and just a small jest. Gwen is right though, it's hard, but it's not a forever feeling


Hehehe,  yes indeed! 


...and Rob, if you are feeling down you can always come here and chat with fellow GSD lovers over the weekend too.


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

When someone gives me an ultimatum, I choose the opposite. It is an attempt to control and establish power over you. Sounds like GF didn't like you as you were and are trying to change you to what she wants. Trust me ... Been there done that .,. You will be miserable. It is you & Ollie, a complete package. Kick her to the curb. She doesn't love you, she "owns" you. Sorry dude.


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

A** punting boots, sounds like something I may need, haha. I think I too have the fear of being alone. Im 28, almost 29, and about to be single again. I feel like I've failed a bit, you know?

And yes, the boat goes out on the chain, when I get the chance. I want to take it out on lake michigan too, but a 21' might be a little small for that lol.

No apologies needed for saying she "owns me". I've let it get to that, now I need to fix it, without getting rid of my boy.


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## Nikitta (Nov 10, 2011)

My motto has always been in relationships; Love me love my dogs. And if they don't like it, point to the door and say," See that door? Don't let it hit you in the ( for want of a better word) behind, on the way out!" Honey, there plenty of fish in the sea. Surely you can find better. And SHE'S the one who failed not you. You stood your ground and woke up and smelled the coffee.


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

About harm to your dog? Since he is not crated, do you come home to destruction? Does he chew things that you don't want him to? If not, he is happy.


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## huntergreen (Jun 28, 2012)

Jax08 said:


> And if you rehome the dog you had before the girlfriend...because of the girlfriend...I don't have any use for you.



this may be the one post that sums up the issue.


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

RobBlueMaro said:


> A** punting boots, sounds like something I may need, haha. I think I too have the fear of being alone. Im 28, almost 29, and about to be single again. I feel like I've failed a bit, you know?
> 
> And yes, the boat goes out on the chain, when I get the chance. I want to take it out on lake michigan too, but a 21' might be a little small for that lol.
> 
> No apologies needed for saying she "owns me". I've let it get to that, now I need to fix it, without getting rid of my boy.





Be patient, you are gathering wisdom.  You haven't failed. It would be a failure if you wasted more of your precious time on this earth with the wrong person then is really necessary.


It's up to you if you want to stand your ground and then see if you and she can be happy.

It's also a lot of energy being expended.

One thing I learned after sticking it out in an unhealthy relationship for so long was how to move on much more quickly when I started dating again. Time and energy are limited resources. Use them wisely.

Your Mom won't be here forever, your friends, Ollie. Spend time with those who truly cherish you.


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## BMWHillbilly (Oct 18, 2012)

RobBlueMaro said:


> ........ but I have given up so much for her. I have pretty much not seen my closest friends in the last year and a half, she doesn't like my mom so I haven't been in contact with my mom for a while, she doesn't like my boat so I have been trying to sell it, and now she wants me to get rid of Ollie, even though her dog will get to stay and sleep in the same bed and be a part of the family, even though we see her mom all the time and do things with her mom.......


You answered your own question.


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## blueangele (Aug 5, 2013)

RobBlueMaro said:


> A** punting boots, sounds like something I may need, haha. I think I too have the fear of being alone. Im 28, almost 29, and about to be single again. I feel like I've failed a bit, you know?
> 
> And yes, the boat goes out on the chain, when I get the chance. I want to take it out on lake michigan too, but a 21' might be a little small for that lol.
> 
> No apologies needed for saying she "owns me". I've let it get to that, now I need to fix it, without getting rid of my boy.


Dang...too young and too far away for me...unless you like cougars :laugh:


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## alexg (Mar 22, 2013)

RobBlueMaro said:


> A** punting boots, sounds like something I may need, haha. I think I too have the fear of being alone. Im 28, almost 29, and about to be single again..


You will be FREE again.


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## igottabecrazy (May 24, 2013)

Adding to the wisdom being put forth here.... I was about your age when I started "compromising" to stay in a relationship. And stayed in it - giving up a lot of things (activities, hobbies, passing up on a dog - my sister ended up "rescuing" him off a chain in the middle of winter, etc). 

I was widowed at age 46 - 4 years ago. I look back at those years and I am very sad over what could have been but wasn't because of my fear of being alone. I can never get those years back. I'm older and wiser now. If someone can't accept me for me, my 5 critters, my hobbies (mostly outdoorsy stuff) - guess I will go it alone. But I will be spending my precious time left on this earth doing things that make me happy. I find that a lot of men my age can't - or don't want to - keep up with things like camping, hiking, skiing, kayaking, running, hanging with my dogs. Most seem to want to watch tv. Thank goodness the 2 dogs and 3 cats are all wonderful companions - and that I can load my kayak on my truck by myself.


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

RobBlueMaro said:


> A** punting boots, sounds like something I may need, haha. I think I too have the fear of being alone. Im 28, almost 29, and about to be single again. I feel like I've failed a bit, you know?
> 
> And yes, the boat goes out on the chain, when I get the chance. I want to take it out on lake michigan too, but a 21' might be a little small for that lol.
> 
> No apologies needed for saying she "owns me". I've let it get to that, now I need to fix it, without getting rid of my boy.


28, almost 29 is still very young. Way too young to consider settling for being in a manipulative relationship where it's all give and no take. You seem like a nice guy... I'm sure you'll find someone that will treat you, Ollie, your mom and your friends with kindness and respect! 

I think it's safe to say that a lot of us here have been in relationships where we weren't valued. I can tell you from experience that when you find someone worth making concessions for, they won't be asking you to make them!

Good luck to you!


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## Glamisfoxgurl182 (Jun 14, 2012)

It makes me sad to think you even considered giving him up.
I'm your age and in a relationship. We got our to GSDs together. and even tho we have no problems and don't see eachother breaking up its been made very clear that the dogs are mine. If something did happen I would keep them both! 
I could not imagine giving up one of my fur kids for a boyfriend or girlfriend.
I'm so happy to see that you realize that and are going to keep him. He will be your most loyal friend for the rest of his life. you shouldn't be with a girl that wants to keep your balls in a jar in her purse! that's not fun for you! 

You will not regret giving the GF up!


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## gsdsar (May 21, 2002)

GypsyGhost said:


> I can tell you from experience that when you find someone worth making concessions for, they won't be asking you to make them!
> 
> 
> 
> Good luck to you!



Best words of wisdom I have seen in a long time.


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR (Aug 11, 2014)

I'm getting in kind of late here. Please don't take this the wrong way OP but, if you and your gf knew you would have this work schedule, why did you decide to get a dog? Yes, dogs don't have to be with their human every second of the day, dog owners work at jobs 5 days a week. It's nothing new. It is just that your job seems to take you away from home a little longer. I am not saying it isn't doable, I guess I am just curious as to why you wanted to take on this responsibility with the work schedule. I really wish the best outcome for your pup. Good luck.


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

Barbie- People who work a lot still have every right to own a dog. From what it sounds like, the OP does everything he can to give Ollie a spectacular life. Let's not make someone question themselves all over again when they're doing nothing wrong.


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## llombardo (Dec 11, 2011)

GypsyGhost said:


> Barbie- People who work a lot still have every right to own a dog. From what it sounds like, the OP does everything he can to give Ollie a spectacular life. Let's not make someone question themselves all over again when they're doing nothing wrong.


I have multiple dogs and I am gone 10 hours a day with a lunch that I come home and let them out to pee. I work Saturdays now to, 4-11. To be honest when I'm home for the day they sleep unless I have them outside. They are pretty comfortable and boring.


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR (Aug 11, 2014)

GypsyGhost said:


> Barbie- People who work a lot still have every right to own a dog. From what it sounds like, the OP does everything he can to give Ollie a spectacular life. Let's not make someone question themselves all over again when they're doing nothing wrong.



I think you are taking it wrong like I am trying to be rude or something to the OP. I am just asking a question, not trying to pass judgement. If you want to re-read my post you will see that I said many people own dogs and work a full schedule, it is nothing new. I was just curious as to why someone with an even longer schedule wanted to do this. Again... (Wish I didn't have to repeat myself) I am not saying it is not doable, I am just asking why? I just want to know, I don't think there is anything wrong with asking. If you have a problem with someone asking a sincere question, then maybe you should block or ignore my posts.


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## nezzz (Jan 20, 2013)

GypsyGhost said:


> Barbie- People who work a lot still have every right to own a dog. From what it sounds like, the OP does everything he can to give Ollie a spectacular life. Let's not make someone question themselves all over again when they're doing nothing wrong.


It is a legit question though, OP has a job that requires early rising and getting off late, on top of that, he has to handle a GF who won't play nice with his mom and friends. Then OP decides to get a dog with his all too busy schedule. Someone who is knee deep in so many other commitments, should not just go out and add more to their plate.

Yes, OP's girlfriend might be living in crazy bitch land and should be flogged off, the current situation might not have manifest if OP didn't get the dog and instead focused on fixing the relationship between his mom and gf.


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR (Aug 11, 2014)

nezzz said:


> It is a legit question though, OP has a job that requires early rising and getting off late, on top of that, he has to handle a GF who won't play nice with his mom and friends. Then OP decides to get a dog with his all too busy schedule. Someone who is knee deep in so many other commitments, should not just go out and add more to their plate.
> 
> Yes, OP's girlfriend might be living in crazy bitch land and should be flogged off, the current situation might not have manifest if OP didn't get the dog and instead focused on fixing the relationship between his mom and gf.


Thank you nezzz. And please let it be known that I think the OP would make a great owner, and he seems to genuinely care about his gsd, so much that he is on this forum trying to get advice. I admire that. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad, and I hope the best for the OP and his dog, I just was curious and had a question, that I hope the OP won't mind answering. As far as his girlfriend goes, I don't want to question if she is bad or good for him. All I know is that a significant other might be there, they might be your soulmate forever, or they might leave you. A dog however, will never leave you if you are bonded. They won't let you down, they won't cheat on you, they won't lie to you, etc... I think OP you should do what you feel is right in your heart regardless of what the gf is telling you. Whether she comes or goes, it is YOU that has to live with your decisions forever. Imagine what it would be like if you got rid of your gsd because the gf thought it was a good idea, and then the gf ends up leaving too? Not saying it will happen, just saying it COULD, so take this Into consideration when making a decision.


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

BARBIElovesSAILOR said:


> I think you are taking it wrong like I am trying to be rude or something to the OP. I am just asking a question, not trying to pass judgement. If you want to re-read my post you will see that I said many people own dogs and work a full schedule, it is nothing new. I was just curious as to why someone with an even longer schedule wanted to do this. Again... (Wish I didn't have to repeat myself) I am not saying it is not doable, I am just asking why? I just want to know, I don't think there is anything wrong with asking. If you have a problem with someone asking a sincere question, then maybe you should block or ignore my posts.


I didn't take what you wrote as being rude. I was just trying to say that maybe he's going through enough without having to defend his decisions. That was all.


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR (Aug 11, 2014)

ANYWAY, if someone feels they have to be defensive or defend a decision, that says a lot about their decision. I never once asked for him to defend a decision. I asked a question. He can give an answer. Let's not turn it into something else okay? Let's not play semantics. Just sit back, relax, read through this thread, and let him answer the question. Who knows, it might help someone on here who is thinking about getting a dog one day.


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## GypsyGhost (Dec 29, 2014)

BARBIElovesSAILOR said:


> ANYWAY, if someone feels they have to be defensive or defend a decision, that says a lot about their decision. I never once asked for him to defend a decision. I asked a question. He can give an answer. Let's not turn it into something else okay? Let's not play semantics. Just sit back, relax, read through this thread, and let him answer the question. Who knows, it might help someone on here who is thinking about getting a dog one day.


I don't know why YOU are being so defensive. I just tried to let you know that I didn't think you were being rude! Well, that will teach me! Here I was, trying to make sure there was no "bad blood" between us... Maybe take your own advice and relax.

Sorry OP for the minor thread hi-jack that I apparently just caused. Jeesh.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

RobBlueMaro said:


> GSDKimber, I appreciate your offer, but after the great feedback given by the members here, I think Ollie is going to stay. I got him after my dad passed, named him after my dad, and I am very proud of him. He is a great companion and if my girlfriend decides to leave, there will be someone who will love him as I do.
> 
> Thank you all for the great feedback. It's going to be a rough weekend.... My fuzzy child will keep me company


Send the GF to GSDKimber...

Really, it sounds like this thread served as your wakeup call when you listed what the GF wanted you to do. Bravo for Ollie calling her out!


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## HappyFurKid (May 31, 2014)

BARBIElovesSAILOR said:


> All I know is that a significant other might be there, they might be your soulmate forever, or they might leave you. A dog however, will never leave you if you are bonded. They won't let you down, they won't cheat on you, they won't lie to you, etc...


Barbie, you may have answered your own question. Why would someone get a dog when they have a busy life? Because they want someone in their life to give them that unconditional love that was missing. It obviously wasn't being provided by the GF who seemed to be busy shutting everyone else that he cared about out of his life. You're absolutely right when you say that a dog won't let you down, won't cheat on your or lie to you.  It's been 10 months since my GSD passed away and I still miss him every day.


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## Lykoz (Dec 6, 2014)

Does the OP have a house with a fenced Garden?

This may seem strange to everyone, on these type of forums. 
And out the box for somebody struggling with one dog..

But I will go ahead and say it anyways.

For people that work long hours, and cant spend time with their dog.

Sometimes the dog, gets lonely. I think Dogs are social creatures..

So the solution... Could be to get a second dog... and just let the dogs have someone to engage with.. Some sort of interaction... 

Ive really seen dogs brighten up with excitement when introducing a new puppy, at the right age (Right age of first dog)... 

Maybe even introduce an older shelter dog that plays nice.

Now this will only really work, if the dogs are more outside dogs.

There I said it. Flame me now 

Just a consideration.


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## Chip18 (Jan 11, 2014)

Lykoz said:


> Does the OP have a house with a fenced Garden?
> 
> This may seem strange to everyone, on these type of forums.
> And out the box for somebody struggling with one dog..
> ...


First shot...Leerburg has a story on a GSD that snapped the head off a Beagle puppy! 

I have always had two dogs in the past but sadly my other two are both gone! 

I'm going to get a Boxer buddy for Rocky but the puppy is going to be in a crate if I am not around! 

Rule one, don't get a second dog unless your first dog is absolutely rock solid in where you want them to be!

Rocky is pretty much rock solid, second dog will be a girl, I don't expect trouble but I will take "zero" chances!

Many people have trouble raising one dog let alone two!


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## LoveGSD's (Aug 22, 2009)

Rob

I read this thread twice and hope you are doing OK today.

Your Ollie is a beautiful dog! It is interesting to me that you GF was not concerned about doing harm to her dog by being gone many hours. There are many red flags including her wanting to keep you away from you family and friends. 

Ollie was your best counselor and you did not have to pay a penny. If you break up now it is much easier now than going through a painful divorce. 

Good luck and much happiness in the future. Don't be afraid to be alone. You have a great friend with you!


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR (Aug 11, 2014)

Sorry lykoz, you're right, I disagree.


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## Lykoz (Dec 6, 2014)

A lot of people (I am not talking about the thread starter). But a lot of people
have a dog... Don't engage them at all and simply keep a dog in a back yard. Completely isolated. They just feed it, water it, and basically that is it.
I took ownership of a labrador from another owner leaving the country just like this once. It lived alone, enclosed in a back yard. It was the hardest dog to manage I ever had.

*Disclaimer*: Extreme studies like this are to control External variables COMPLETELY. I am not attacking anyone or insinuating anything. I am just saying that a dog left alone for the majority of its time can have some negative effects, that may be controlled by introducing a second dog or companion. I am not saying anybody is unfair to their dog. 
Just trying to have users understand why I suggested a second dog. Very limited isolation may also have some negative effects that could be curbed by introducing another dog.
I am not saying this is what he should do. It just an option for consideration.

Just read this recently. It kind of justifies what I am saying on a more extreme level:

_"Dr. Harry Harlow was an unsympathetic person, using terms like the “rape rack” and “iron maiden” in his experiments. He is most well-known for the experiments he conducted on rhesus monkeys concerning social isolation. Dr. Harlow took infant rhesus monkeys who had already bonded with their mothers and placed them in a stainless steel vertical chamber device alone with no contact in order to sever those bonds. They were kept in the chambers for up to one year. Many of these monkeys came out of the chamber psychotic, and many did not recover. Dr. Harlow concluded that even a happy, normal childhood was no defense against depression, while science writer Deborah Blum called these, “common sense results.”"_


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Hey everyone. Sorry, had a busy weekend so I wasn't on here to reply. I see a few other topics got started as well, lol. 

In answer to a question that I saw, I got the dog before I met my girlfriend. Ollie was probably 7 months when I met her. It seems people think that it was the other way around. I knew my work schedule and after my dad passed, I wanted a shepherd because I never was able to have one growing up. I will admit that he is my first dog and I've learned a lot having him, but in no way do I regret getting him. He is a great companion. 

I would just like to re-assure everyone that Ollie is still home and not going anywhere. As a matter of fact, I got to enjoy a walk with him early this morning in -11 degree weather!! 

Last night, I took him with me to taco bell to get some dinner. He's 100 pounds now so he can't sit up in the front seat of the truck with me, he's gotta be in the back seat. He likes to have his head out the window when I'm driving so I had the back window down for him and as I pull up in the drive through to pay for my food, he had his head out the window and was staring at the window attendant. The guy reaches for my card and stops, jumps back a little bit, "Whoa! He scared me!! What kinda dog is that? He's beautiful!"

I'm sure everyone has these experiences because shepherds are gorgeous animals, just figured I'd share my latest one. I got a good laugh out of it.

I would like to thank everyone for their feedback on this thread. It's nice to be able to talk to other GSD owners and get their opinions as I do not know anyone else with a Shepherd.


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## WateryTart (Sep 25, 2013)

RobBlueMaro said:


> Not including the replies on this post, everyone in my personal life has said to keep Ollie. And that is what I'm leaning to.... I will resent this decision and even her dog for the rest of my life if I do this. It's just a very hard decision and the fact that she would put me in this spot just angers me beyond all belief. I realize this isn't relationship counseling, but I have given up so much for her. I have pretty much not seen my closest friends in the last year and a half, she doesn't like my mom so I haven't been in contact with my mom for a while, she doesn't like my boat so I have been trying to sell it, and now she wants me to get rid of Ollie, even though her dog will get to stay and sleep in the same bed and be a part of the family, even though we see her mom all the time and do things with her mom.
> 
> After typing all of that, I think the decision is pretty obvious....


I have only read to here, but I was all set to ask you if you'd asked specifically what it is about Ollie she doesn't like. Maybe it's a specific behavior that can be worked on, maybe it's how time is managed surrounding the dog and his care, I read that there's another pet in the house and maybe that dynamic worries her. I was basically set to ask you if maybe there was some workaround.

What you've typed here makes me think you might be right about the decision being obvious. Barring something that someone in your life has done to her that's a legitimate dealbreaker, this seems concerning. I'm so sorry.

Now on to read the rest of the thread...


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## Ruger Monster (Jan 29, 2015)

Reading this thread has made me feel much better about me working & having Ruger. He's in his X-pen for about 9 hours a day while I'm working. Once he's able to be trusted in the house without being contained, he will have free reign. I usually leave at 7:20am and get home between 5:30-6:30pm during the week, so he gets about 4 hours out and about with us, playing with the other dogs & cats while we cook/eat, and then play time with us too. I have designated Sundays as Ruger-days. We go to the beach, dog-friendly restaurants, puppy playdates, etc. This weekend was our last Saturday of hauling cars from ~70 miles away, so Saturdays will have much more Ru-time too. Once we start him on the training, his evenings will have more focused training time, and as it warms up and stays lighter out longer, a lot more outdoors time. This winter crap has been so dreary and exhausting, and we aren't even getting the wintry weather!

To the OP: Ollie is beautiful!!! I am glad you're keeping your boy - if he's used to the routine and not destructive or acting like he doesn't get enough interaction, he's fine. He probably sleeps anyway lol. Its great that your mom is able to let him out in the afternoon as well. I understand your feelings that you would resent your GF and her dog if you gave Ollie up. It's not fair to you, or Ollie, to suggest you rehome him, yet her dog would remain in the same bed and be part of the family. Though this isn't relationship counseling like you said - Wanting to distance you from friends/family and sell your things is a red flag, which it appears you've already noticed yourself.

Now, more pics of Ollie needed!!


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## RobBlueMaro (Jan 15, 2015)

Ruger Monster said:


> Reading this thread has made me feel much better about me working & having Ruger. He's in his X-pen for about 9 hours a day while I'm working. Once he's able to be trusted in the house without being contained, he will have free reign. I usually leave at 7:20am and get home between 5:30-6:30pm during the week, so he gets about 4 hours out and about with us, playing with the other dogs & cats while we cook/eat, and then play time with us too. I have designated Sundays as Ruger-days. We go to the beach, dog-friendly restaurants, puppy playdates, etc. This weekend was our last Saturday of hauling cars from ~70 miles away, so Saturdays will have much more Ru-time too. Once we start him on the training, his evenings will have more focused training time, and as it warms up and stays lighter out longer, a lot more outdoors time. This winter crap has been so dreary and exhausting, and we aren't even getting the wintry weather!
> 
> To the OP: Ollie is beautiful!!! I am glad you're keeping your boy - if he's used to the routine and not destructive or acting like he doesn't get enough interaction, he's fine. He probably sleeps anyway lol. Its great that your mom is able to let him out in the afternoon as well. I understand your feelings that you would resent your GF and her dog if you gave Ollie up. It's not fair to you, or Ollie, to suggest you rehome him, yet her dog would remain in the same bed and be part of the family. Though this isn't relationship counseling like you said - Wanting to distance you from friends/family and sell your things is a red flag, which it appears you've already noticed yourself.
> 
> Now, more pics of Ollie needed!!


 
Haha, I know. I need more pics of him up here. I gotta get them off of my phone soon so I can post them.

Thank you for the reassurance Tara. It's nice to hear Ruger gets about as much time as Ollie does.


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