# I think my puppy dislikes me :(



## sprklnh2o (Dec 17, 2010)

This might sound crazy but is it possible that my puppy dislikes me? He doesn't like to cuddle with me, and when I walk near him he generally tries to run away from me. When I try to pet him or give him belly rubs, he gets up and walks away. He only seems excited to see me when I come home from work (for a total of maybe like, 10 seconds). My pup is a 4.5 month old male. I spend every free minute I have with him. I walk him twice a day for an hour each, I feed him his meals 3 times a day, I give him training before every meal, I play ball with him, I take him to the dog park. I never strike him, only firm voices and positive treat based training. I feel like I am doing everything straight from text books, yet he's not very affectionate and doesn't seem to care too much about me. It's almost like, my dog isn't very loyal to me....which is a bit disheartening considering how much time i spend with him. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death and would never give him away or anything. I am just wondering, is this his personality or is this how puppies are? Thanks in advance.


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## marshies (May 18, 2011)

I know next to nothing about dogs, but I have heard that some dogs are just not cuddly. You could just have an independent little guy. But I'll leave it to other more experienced members to comment on whether there is a "problem".


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

Some dogs just aren't cuddlers and being only 4.5 months, he's probably still just a rambunctious puppy. It takes time to bond and for a dog to become affectionate. Puppies typically just want to play, play, play... there's not time to sit still and be pet. That's no fun for pups.

You sound like you're doing the right thing with him. Just keep doing what you're doing and give it time and be patient. By a year and when he's more mature mentally, he'll probably be attached to you by the hip.


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## Holmeshx2 (Apr 25, 2010)

well honestly at this age there isn't much need for "stern voices" there are a few instances where it might be ok but they are far and few between everything up til now should be happy happy happy. If he's happy to see you when you come home then he obviously likes you he just might be more independant. They have personalities like people my girl is SUPER cuddly like insanely cuddly even with people she just met she has been like this her entire life some dogs prefer their own space and are ok with a pat here and there. Some are more independant as a puppy but get a little more loving as they get older but never really want to be cuddled. 

have you done any engagement training by any chance? If not I would definitely look it up it's amazing and a great way to bond with the dog.


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## sprklnh2o (Dec 17, 2010)

Holmeshx2 said:


> well honestly at this age there isn't much need for "stern voices" there are a few instances where it might be ok but they are far and few between everything up til now should be happy happy happy. If he's happy to see you when you come home then he obviously likes you he just might be more independant. They have personalities like people my girl is SUPER cuddly like insanely cuddly even with people she just met she has been like this her entire life some dogs prefer their own space and are ok with a pat here and there. Some are more independant as a puppy but get a little more loving as they get older but never really want to be cuddled.
> 
> have you done any engagement training by any chance? If not I would definitely look it up it's amazing and a great way to bond with the dog.


I did clicker training with treats when I first got him at 8 weeks old. He learned all the basic commands in 2 weeks. He's super smart. Now I have phased out the clicker and he still obeys the commands. He's very engaged when I am doing training with him. It just seems weird that even when I just wanted to sit next to him, he would get up and sit somewhere else. As if I stink or something (and I am pretty sure I don't). It seems like he just wants his own space....but everyone says GSD's are velcro dogs. Mine is the exact opposite!


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## sprklnh2o (Dec 17, 2010)

Lucy Dog said:


> Some dogs just aren't cuddlers and being only 4.5 months, he's probably still just a rambunctious puppy. It takes time to bond and for a dog to become affectionate. Puppies typically just want to play, play, play... there's not time to sit still and be pet. That's no fun for pups.
> 
> You sound like you're doing the right thing with him. Just keep doing what you're doing and give it time and be patient. By a year and when he's more mature mentally, he'll probably be attached to you by the hip.


He is indeed very rambunctious. I guess I have to be more patient. We'll see what happens!


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## Holmeshx2 (Apr 25, 2010)

some do just want their own space and dont want you crowding it. Also clicker training and being engaged while training is different then engagement training. The engagement training you are working on NOTHING but engagement and its a blast for both dog and owner and heps create a rather strong bond.


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## Micky (Jan 1, 2011)

I can just talk from my own experience with Stella which is now 1 year old, she never liked to cuddle, when I wanted to touch her she pulled away, everything was on her term. mostly she stayed away and came only slowly closer, well now she is 1 year and things changed around the 6-7 month, she cuddles in bed comes close on the couch still needs her alone time, but she is looking for me, keeping an eye on me all the time and I have no complains about cuddle time, hang in there I do believe that it will get better, they never be a lap dog, even Stella has moments were she thinks that she is


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## bocron (Mar 15, 2009)

My current girl, Uma, is now 11 months old. I got her at 8 weeks. She was never very cuddly, and for the first few months I had her she was kind of stand offish, if that makes sense. She spent all day, every day with me (I own a dog park and dog daycare, so she comes to work with me). She absolutely HATED to be picked up and especially hated to be held like a baby and would thrash and fight for all she was worth. She did love to work, though, she loves doing obedience and loves to track, so I just kept doing that. Well somewhere around 6-8 months she fell in love with me, totally and completely. She now can't stand if I'm not within view, if she knows I'm around she is by my side. She is fine being left in the crate, and doesn't have any anxiety about that.
She now will roll over and ask for belly rubs and will even hop up on the couch and put her head in my lap. It was a hard earned love, but she has become my heart dog. She was never scared or spooky about affection, she just looked at you like "do I know you?" LOL. Anyway, keep working with your pup, maybe get involved in a sport of some sort. My Uma got really into me when we started doing bitework at Schutzhund, it's like she decided we were partners and knew that I was behind her. 
The funny thing is my husband tried to cuddle her the other day, the way he cuddles his girl, (who is Uma's niece) and Uma about killed herself and him trying to put a stop to it LOL.
Annette


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

With my girl when she was that young, the only time she would allow cuddles was when she was dead tired. She is 2 now and is super duper affectionate, so perhaps she will 'grow into' it too?


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## martemchik (Nov 23, 2010)

Mine is almost 16 months now and he just started to cuddle a little more. Usually you have to entice him by holding a bone but sometime he will just lay by us. Not like on top or even have any body parts touching, but within petting distance. What people mean by velcro dogs is that they stay close to you, but not that close. Like my dog doesn't like being out on the balcony with the door closed, he likes to be able to come in and check on us (even though he can see us from the balcony). He's perfectly fine with it open and will lay out there in the sun but as soon as we close the door he wants to come inside.


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## mysweetkaos (Sep 20, 2011)

Kaos as a puppy was the same way. By the time he was about 18 months and didn't feel the need to be constantly in motion he started being super snuggly. Now at 9 yrs old I feel like I can't turn around without running into him. He follows me EVERYWHERE, when I shut the restroom door he lays outside it and cries. So he probably just needs time to grow up. 
Now our new pup Sherman.....I have done all the training, feeding, walking, playing.....he will let me pet him for a couple minutes and then he goes in his crate to sleep (I must be boring)...On the other hand, my husband who is at work so isn't able to help with everything, he gets home and Sherman is following him around, soaking up every bit of attention and love he can get


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## afirefly (Nov 10, 2011)

I had been worried about the bonding aspect with my 5 month too. But it turned around once we began work with a trainer. I also stopped trying so hard. Part of the breed, their nature can be or seem aloof. Their trust and loyalty is earned and I think true bonding happens over time. My girl is very affectionate on her own terms and she likes her space. The more I respect that, the closer she seems to come.

If you can dedicate one on one time, training/teaching, it truly does seem to make a difference. But I'd say everyone here is right, give it time to develop more. One day you will just see and recognize your special bond that has formed.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

When my boy was a puppy he didn't care for a lot of affection either. I didn't force it on him. I figured just like some folks are huggers, and some aren't. If he didn't care to be affectionate that was ok. It's his personality. 

He has always been an aloof dog. Even as a puppy, wasn't a waggy butt dog when it comes to strangers etc. 

As a youngster, when he came to me (freely) I'd talk to him (Hey, good boy!) and give him a scratch. Then I'd stop. I wanted to end it before he did. I found the only place I could scratch him that he adored was on the face around his eyes. 

Now he is over 2 years old. He loves to be pet. He loves his butt scratched and his face scratched the most. He is still not a cuddle bug. If he lays next to me he might put a paw on me. He is always in the same room with me. He follows me everywhere, but he doesn't feel the need to have to be next to me. 

Having said that, when he gets into big trouble, he'll spend the next day or two in my pocket (I'll tell my hubby that I'm wearing Hondo pants today!) Only at that time is he truly clingy. He hates it when he gets into trouble.


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## sprklnh2o (Dec 17, 2010)

Holmeshx2 said:


> some do just want their own space and dont want you crowding it. Also clicker training and being engaged while training is different then engagement training. The engagement training you are working on NOTHING but engagement and its a blast for both dog and owner and heps create a rather strong bond.


Well I guess I have to look into it then  Thanks for the tip.


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## Jelpy (Nov 8, 2009)

With Grendel, she wasn't stand offish so much as indifferent. She loved Lycan and playing with Lycan. I was just sorta the food person. In the last few months she has gotten more and more physically affectionate and likes to sleep on the bed. 

Go figure. 

Jelpy


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## sprklnh2o (Dec 17, 2010)

Micky said:


> I can just talk from my own experience with Stella which is now 1 year old, she never liked to cuddle, when I wanted to touch her she pulled away, everything was on her term. mostly she stayed away and came only slowly closer, well now she is 1 year and things changed around the 6-7 month, she cuddles in bed comes close on the couch still needs her alone time, but she is looking for me, keeping an eye on me all the time and I have no complains about cuddle time, hang in there I do believe that it will get better, they never be a lap dog, even Stella has moments were she thinks that she is


That sounds like my puppy! I hope he will become more loving like Stella. Thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me hope!


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## krystyne73 (Oct 13, 2010)

Meika is not an affectionate dog at all. Never has been. I use to take it personal but now I really enjoy it. Less dog hair on my body. 
I know she worships the ground I walk on and loyally lays by my side each day.


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## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

Niko wasn't a lovey-cuddly puppy either, but now he is very affectionate and loves to be petted and gives lots of kisses. For the longest time I didn't think he liked me either!! But over time, he got to like being around me more and we spent lots of time together one on one, did some extra training together, that kind of thing. But Niko is 2 and a half now and he's my best buddy!


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## Pattycakes (Sep 8, 2010)

I have to agree with the others...when I first got Uschi...she didn't like to cuddle with me let alone want to be with me. She was interested only in where her nose would take her and where her little paws would run off too in search of something more entertaining than me. LOL But now she is almost 2.5 yrs old and she is with me all the time. She loves to be cuddled and she loves to lay next to me on the couch....and yes, she is a velcro dog now. And I love it!


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## hps (Jul 18, 2011)

Ritz is a little over 6 months and doesn't wanna cuddle, which is fine with me, I'm not into cuddling with my dog.


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## spidermilk (Mar 18, 2010)

My dog isn't a cuddler either. He doesn't run or anything, but he will get up and walk away as soon as I say "okay". SO I have to find a way to bond with him that he and I both enjoy- and there are plenty of ways like training new tricks, playing fetch, playing tug, going on a hike, going on a car ride, etc. If I'm lucky he will curl up by my feet for a few minutes before I go to sleep, but then he hops off the bed and lays on his dog bed- he hates cuddling!

In addition to doing things that your dog *does* enjoy, I would imagine that if you are patient and use rewards that your dog loves, that you could slowly condition your dog to tolerate and maybe even like cuddling. You could start by calling them towards you and giving treats for them laying near you, give more treats for them getting closer... do it all the time and your dog might enjoy laying near you more..


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## Veronica1 (Jun 22, 2010)

Don't worry. Your pup knows exactly what you're doing all the time. You are his pack member. Puppies have to figure out how to be independent so they can survive on their own, but at the same time have that bond with their human. Combine that with more energy than they know what to do with.

Your pup hasn't even lost all his baby teeth yet. He's got lots of growing to do, in every way. Keep doing what you're doing and as he matures, you'll find you have a loyal friend. 

PS - I remember those puppy teeth and when he'd latch on to my pant legs when I would walk by - it seems there were plenty of times for stern voices with my boy.


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## Gracie's My Girl (May 27, 2011)

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Our puppy has never enjoyed being cuddled, even when she was tiny. She much preferred to do her own thing and I was fine with that. I think we enjoy each other the most when we are playing, training, and being busy. I can forget having her chill with me on the couch after a long day. Instead, she'd rather sleep on the floor. Go figure.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

How fun are you? It sounds like you're doing a lot of the right things, but it doesn't sound all that fun. Read up on engagement, as Holmeshx2 suggests. It's one thing to stand there and throw a ball for him, it's another to be happy and upbeat, to run around the yard and have him chase you, to whoop it up when he brings the ball back, to tug with him....., you know - be FUN! 

And as others have said, not all dogs are cuddly. His way of showing affection and the bond between you might be him just being near you and watching you rather than being in your face or in your lap all the time. Keefer is the most affectionate dog either of us have ever had, he would smear himself all over me like peanut butter if that were possible. Halo is more independent in that she doesn't need to be right there with us every second, and will go off an nap by herself somewhere. But the more I do with her, the more bonded she's become to me. We've been taking flyball classes together (FUN!!!), and I can definitely tell the difference. Although she doesn't need constant affection, she's the one who will climb on my lap on the couch in the evening while we watch TV, or lick my husband's face (she's daddy's girl :wub so much that he has to make her stop so he still has some skin left. But all that took some time, she wasn't really like that at the age of your puppy.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

I've noticed some changes in my pup as time goes on... He's seven months now. He was more cuddly when he was younger. (The exception is the early morning; he does get on the bed and lays in the crook of my arm/leg and snuggles until the stupid snooze goes off *again*. This goofy dog even knows that mom always hits the snooze *once*. He hears it, he climbs on the bed, he settles into the warm crook of my body and waits until the NEXT alarm goes of... then he's like OH YEAH, that's your SECOND alarm, we are SO getting up now!) He has me sooo figured out. 

He isn't really so "cuddly" now, but he's still quite velcro. He wants to be wherever I am, but not on my lap. Within eyesight. If I'm in the shower, he's parked at the bathroom door. That sort of thing. He prefers to sleep UNDER the bed instead of on the bed (weird dog!) but if I get up, there he is. He completely keeps track of me, but doesn't necessarily want the cuddling these days. If he's tired, he lets me stroke his muzzle and he gives kisses often... but he's often more about playing. I'm his "playmate." The frisbee/ball thrower person. The person on the other end of the tug. We have a crazy strong bond, but he's not wanting to just lay down and be stroked. My eight year old wants that, this young pup doesn't.


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