# So I've been training the dogs for over 2 years now



## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Started training both mine in Jan 2011... started really getting into it at some point, and started doing helperwork last year... Now I'm training other dogs many times a week. I was just thinking... since I started down the dog training path, I've been single. As the years tick by and another B-Day is rolling up fast (coupled with a few sarcastic comments here or there about the "dog thing") I'm wondering if these are related. Thoughts? All the "dog people" know who are in functional relationships have equally "dog-people" sig others... 

Or does dating and finding people just get this much harder with age? I truly don't understand why I'm single and watching all my friends get married, have kids, etc... 

("Stop looking and you'll find someone" and other such gems just frustrate me further btw lol. If a guy stops looking and trying, he dies alone lol)


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## Gharrissc (May 19, 2012)

My husband is a dog person, but he isn't as involved with the training as I am. If I need him to do something with training he will, but he knows that I like to have it done a certain way and doesn't want to interfere with that.


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## mycobraracr (Dec 4, 2011)

hunterisgreat said:


> Started training both mine in Jan 2011... started really getting into it at some point, and started doing helperwork last year... Now I'm training other dogs many times a week. I was just thinking... since I started down the dog training path, I've been single. As the years tick by and another B-Day is rolling up fast (coupled with a few sarcastic comments here or there about the "dog thing") I'm wondering if these are related. Thoughts? All the "dog people" know who are in functional relationships have equally "dog-people" sig others...
> 
> Or does dating and finding people just get this much harder with age?
> 
> ("Stop looking and you'll find someone" and other such gems just frustrate me further btw lol. If a guy stops looking and trying, he dies alone lol)


 

It does get harder with age. Plus it seems all free time is spent training(I'm the same way) and there really doesn't seem to be too many single ladies involved in that.

I was single for a long time. Honestly I was perfectly content being single and wasn't looking for anyone. Then a mutual friend introduced me to my GF. She was always an animal person but not to the same extent as me. She's a vet tech but other than your usual pet stuff wasn't into the training and competing. Our first date was to the schutzhund field. She has come to every training, demo and trial since. I then got her a dog and now she's better than me so be careful what you ask for haha. 

Maybe it's time I make a trip to SC. I have some friends out that way and I have been wanting to work your dogs so....


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

I think I do spend too much time with my animals. It's probably not healthy. lol

I think the older I get, the less patience I have with people. People exhaust me, I feel like at least animals are honest and don't have hidden agendas. I feel like a lot of people don't "get" me. Like friends who want to get together, but it's always a late night, and I have horses and responsibilities at home and have to be up really early. I just can't make myself stay up late, I hate the crowds at the bars, and I'm exhausted at the end of the day.

I also find, as you get older, you have more responsibilities. All day you are tied up at work. You get home and you have stuff to deal with there, and then you've got your hobbies (dog training), which usually means you're working with a group of people, but it's usually a small group, so you don't really meet too many new people, if you know what I mean?

I'm going to be a spinster with too many pets.  Hopefully they will call 911 when I'm an old lady, if I fall and break a hip.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

mycobraracr said:


> It does get harder with age. Plus it seems all free time is spent training(I'm the same way) and there really doesn't seem to be too many single ladies involved in that.
> 
> I was single for a long time. Honestly I was perfectly content being single and wasn't looking for anyone. Then a mutual friend introduced me to my GF. She was always an animal person but not to the same extent as me. She's a vet tech but other than your usual pet stuff wasn't into the training and competing. Our first date was to the schutzhund field. She has come to every training, demo and trial since. I then got her a dog and now she's better than me so be careful what you ask for haha.
> 
> Maybe it's time I make a trip to SC. I have some friends out that way and I have been wanting to work your dogs so....


I've been content for a while, but its getting a bit lonely these days and its not that fun always being the single guy hanging with the couples lol. Before the dog thing I started a company so that ate up most of my time in my late 20's unfortunately... so now I'm very successful but no one to share it with lol. The disturbing thing is it has literally been years since I've met anyone that really sparked an interest.

You're welcome to visit whenever you like, however I encourage you to wait till the 100 degrees and 100% humidity has passed lol.


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

Be happy in some ways that you’re a guy, the worst especially for females is the “now honey, don’t worry, you’ll get your day someday” at weddings!  Or holding a friends baby and all the older ladies are eyeing you with a knowing glance


I think when you spend as much time on a hobby (for lack of better terminology) like dog training or anything else then you need someone who is either just as passionate about the hobby or someone who at least understands the time required.

Passion is in the eyes of the beholder. I may never understand someone who is absolutely fascinated with model trains, spending hour after hour browsing shops, shopping online, and painting models? Not my cup of tea, but I'm not going to judge someone that loves it and say my passion makes more sense and is better

I *love* hanging out with dog people, they understand why most of the time I would rather talk together while going on a two hour walk with the dogs than sitting at a bar or restaurant for the same amount of time. They also don't roll their eyes if I spend 30 minutes talking about simply dog nutrition or training techniques. They understand why I can’t just go out at the drop of a hat at 4 PM and stay out until 2 AM 

Relationships that work are give and take, there’s no such thing as perfection and there are good and bad days. There are days I’m completely happy I’m single and don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself, if I want to stay home on a Saturday and lounge in PJ’s until 2 PM who cares lol But then there’s days when you are hanging out with happy couple and you’re the only single and you get the “well I have a friend” speech which makes my teeth grit. Or you get two tickets to something and all your friends already have plans and you have to show up alone

If you truly want to meet someone, it does take effort. Going online or out in person to different groups or social areas and talking with people. Most are duds, especially when you’re older and don’t fit in so well with the younger party crowd anymore but there are some great people out there


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## lhczth (Apr 5, 2000)

My husband and I started dating when I was still in high school and I was VERY much into horses. He rode a little and loved animals, but was never as animal crazy as I was and still am. When I got my first dog (my mom never liked them, which has changed, so I was 19 before I convinced her to let me have a dog) she was a pet. Then the family got one, I got involved with competing, I got Tara (my first GSD) and that was the beginning of the end. LOL I had dogs and horses when we got married. Kevin loved the dogs, but I don't think he ever understood the obsession. He was also raised with "no dogs in the house" and would grumble about dog hair. He tried to tell me "no" each time I wanted to add a new dog, but he did support me. I got a few "your dogs" comments when I asked him for help, but then he drove all over the country with me to get puppies over the years. He saw me train once. He never saw me trial. He was very nice and went to the 2000 Nationals with me. Next to my mom he was always my biggest supporter. 

IMO our SO or spouses need to be supportive of our hobbies, our passions, while we also are supportive of theirs. I do not need and probably do not want to get into a relationship with another dog competitor. I almost would rather find someone who does not have pets. LOL I do think that if you are in a relationship you also have to make time for the other person and that can be hard for single people who have pretty much given their entire lives over to their passion/hobby/sport. 

I hate being single and miss being in a loving relationship and sharing my life with another person. Finding the right person was far easier when I was in my late teens than it is now at 51 (no, my age doesn't bother me).


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Shade said:


> Be happy in some ways that you’re a guy, the worst especially for females is the “now honey, don’t worry, you’ll get your day someday” at weddings!  Or holding a friends baby and all the older ladies are eyeing you with a knowing glance
> 
> 
> I think when you spend as much time on a hobby (for lack of better terminology) like dog training or anything else then you need someone who is either just as passionate about the hobby or someone who at least understands the time required.
> ...


OH guys get that too... and the worst part, particularly in the south, is all of the pursuit is squarely on the guy... if a guy doesn't try he will remain single. And most of the time unless you're brad pitt with an equal wit to match you will get rejected more often than not... and its hard to take repeated rejections without losing enthusiasm to keep trying lol.

The past year, it seems women have gotten flaky'er... done the online thing, had several "first dates" where the other party canceled hours before or even worse - the no-show that doesn't have the decency to even say via text "hey, I've changed my mind". I've even had about 3 women approach me in some capacity, either outright or through a mutual friend, to set up a date and then no show... which is the most frustrating of all as I'm like "WTF, you are the one who asked *me*".


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

lhczth said:


> My husband and I started dating when I was still in high school and I was VERY much into horses. He rode a little and loved animals, but was never as animal crazy as I was and still am. When I got my first dog (my mom never liked them, which has changed, so I was 19 before I convinced her to let me have a dog) she was a pet. Then the family got one, I got involved with competing, I got Tara (my first GSD) and that was the beginning of the end. LOL I had dogs and horses when we got married. Kevin loved the dogs, but I don't think he ever understood the obsession. He was also raised with "no dogs in the house" and would grumble about dog hair. He tried to tell me "no" each time I wanted to add a new dog, but he did support me. I got a few "your dogs" comments when I asked him for help, but then he drove all over the country with me to get puppies over the years. He saw me train once. He never saw me trial. He was very nice and went to the 2000 Nationals with me. Next to my mom he was always my biggest supporter.
> 
> IMO our SO or spouses need to be supportive of our hobbies, our passions, while we also are supportive of theirs. I do not need and probably do not want to get into a relationship with another dog competitor. I almost would rather find someone who does not have pets. LOL I do think that if you are in a relationship you also have to make time for the other person and that can be hard for single people who have pretty much given their entire lives over to their passion/hobby/sport.
> 
> I hate being single and miss being in a loving relationship and sharing my life with another person. Finding the right person was far easier when I was in my late teens than it is now at 51 (no, my age doesn't bother me).


I've thought about that... most "no pets" people are clearly not able to understand me having dogs... lot of "Can't you just leave them outside and we can go to XYZ". But then most people that already have dogs... well I'd be above the city pet limits lol

I'm 33 and it seems that dating has gotten remarkably harder the post 30.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Good post Shade 

It's hard to find the right person. Especially if you're a quiet/shy person, who's busy with hobbies. And it's worse if you've been single for a while, because you tend to fill your life up with other things, or you'll end up just sitting in front of the TV all night.

hunter, I don't think it's just the women who've gotten flakier, I think it's just society in general has gotten flaky. We've forgotten that there are real people behind all the texts, BB's, emails etc. People don't seem to know how to be polite and decent to one another anymore. It's ok for people to change their minds or get cold feet, but there is no excuse to stand someone up, that is a really hurtful and ignorant thing to do.


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## Merciel (Apr 25, 2013)

My husband is not at _all_ interested in dog training. He puts up with me, and he enjoys Crookytail, but he thinks that competitive dog sports people are crazy. And he is probably right.

I've found that rescue is a good way to meet new people in the dog world. Training clubs tend to have a more or less static group of hardcore participants; beginner/puppy classes are a little more fluid, but a lot of those are one-and-done. Rescue, though, has a good mix of core volunteers, part-time volunteers, and a _ton_ of involvement with the adopting public. One of the side effects of the burnout rate is that new people are always coming and going.

Particularly if you're on the training side, or are fostering a dog, it's very easy to strike up relationships with your students and adopters. So that might be one way to make new friends and, in the process, find someone who strikes sparks.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Merciel said:


> My husband is not at _all_ interested in dog training. He puts up with me, and he enjoys Crookytail, but he thinks that competitive dog sports people are crazy. And he is probably right.
> 
> I've found that rescue is a good way to meet new people in the dog world. Training clubs tend to have a more or less static group of hardcore participants; beginner/puppy classes are a little more fluid, but a lot of those are one-and-done. Rescue, though, has a good mix of core volunteers, part-time volunteers, and a _ton_ of involvement with the adopting public. One of the side effects of the burnout rate is that new people are always coming and going.
> 
> Particularly if you're on the training side, or are fostering a dog, it's very easy to strike up relationships with your students and adopters. So that might be one way to make new friends and, in the process, find someone who strikes sparks.


Lol I fostered a dog, he got adopted by the first people I introduced him too, and old married couple


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> OH guys get that too... and the worst part, particularly in the south, is all of the pursuit is squarely on the guy... if a guy doesn't try he will remain single. And most of the time unless you're brad pitt with an equal wit to match you will get rejected more often than not... and its hard to take repeated rejections without losing enthusiasm to keep trying lol.
> 
> The past year, it seems women have gotten flaky'er... done the online thing, had several "first dates" where the other party canceled hours before or even worse - the no-show that doesn't have the decency to even say via text "hey, I've changed my mind". I've even had about 3 women approach me in some capacity, either outright or through a mutual friend, to set up a date and then no show... which is the most frustrating of all as I'm like "WTF, you are the one who asked *me*".


I'm not trying to downplay that guys don't get razzed too, I think older women are just more open about critizing the younger generation.

Oh yes, I've noticed the big trend going back and forth between the man is supposed to make the first move and now the woman should be making all the decisions. I've never been one to always go with the daily trend lol We've swung from one extreme where the man is "the man of the household" to now the woman runs the household outright and if you listen to your husband you're repressed.

Wow, I understand last cancellations if absolutely needed but just to not show up is so disrespectful. 

I've had good and bad experiences with the online dating. It's helpful to weed out people outright, but it's no guarantee there are any winners and it's not cheap to keep paying for a service which may never work out.

Personally, if I'm interested in someone I'll show interest. Make a effort to talk, invite for coffee, etc but when it comes to something serious I prefer the guy to take the lead. So many women I know are the leader in the relationship and that won't fly by me, it's an equal partnership not a dictatorship on either end. 

Some of the best people I've met have been total randoms. You never know who and when you're going to meet at the strangest places, it's hard not to get discouraged but don't give up because of a few bad eggs. 

Whenever I get really discouraged I remember Natasha Bedingfield's lyrics asking how many frogs she has to kiss before her prince comes along. It reminds me to keep smiling and there are plently of fish in the sea


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> Good post Shade
> 
> It's hard to find the right person. Especially if you're a quiet/shy person, who's busy with hobbies. And it's worse if you've been single for a while, because you tend to fill your life up with other things, or you'll end up just sitting in front of the TV all night.
> 
> hunter, I don't think it's just the women who've gotten flakier, I think it's just society in general has gotten flaky. We've forgotten that there are real people behind all the texts, BB's, emails etc. People don't seem to know how to be polite and decent to one another anymore. It's ok for people to change their minds or get cold feet, but there is no excuse to stand someone up, that is a really hurtful and ignorant thing to do.


I agree, our culture is getting more and more "pay me now, I'll do the work later (maybe)"... and no one seems to be willing to put any effort into anything lol. Its like people will end a marriage over someone changing their hair cut.

I've watched several friends marriages disintegrate b/c both parties dug in their feet and demanded the other person to change to suit them. Its like everyone 35 and under these days is spoiled 10 year old


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Shade said:


> I'm not trying to downplay that guys don't get razzed too, I think older women are just more open about critizing the younger generation.


Yeah and telling us our eggs are going to be coming down on walkers if we don't hurry up. lol 

I agree that people just don't want to put the work in anymore, not on anything! We live in a disposable society! :crazy:


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

blackshep said:


> *yeah and telling us our eggs are going to be coming down on walkers if we don't hurry up. lol *
> 
> I agree that people just don't want to put the work in anymore, not on anything! We live in a disposable society! :crazy:


:rofl: on the bolded, I call it a "Mrs. Bennett" from Pride and Prejudice!  The lady who played her on the BBC version was fantastic

Absolutely, it's a "what's in it for me" society now


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## Las Presitas (May 10, 2013)

Do u mind if I ask how old you are? I didn't get marry till close to 40 and it was a blessing. By then I knew exactly who I was and who my husband was. We got married because we loved each other exactly the way we are. So many of my friends who got married in their 20s are already divorced. It is VERY hard to date, but you need to make an effort and find a group of people you can hang with similar interests. I agree the bar scene sucks. If your friends only want to go out late, why don't u suggest happy hour. It is not about finding someone at bar, but just about being social. The more time you spend alone the easier it is to stay home and isolate yourself. Are there any dog clubs or parks around you? Do u attend religious services? They usually have social events... Hang in there. It is never to late


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## Merciel (Apr 25, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> Lol I fostered a dog, he got adopted by the first people I introduced him too, and old married couple


My first foster dog got adopted by a middle-aged couple. Second one went to an elderly couple.

Since then, I'd say about 3/4 of them have gone to people in committed relationships and 1/4 have gone to single women (with one single guy adopter just to mix things up). But most of the couples have been around my age (late 20s/early 30s) and they've all kept in touch and so it's definitely been a way to broaden social circles.

Meeting people is a numbers game. You have to make contacts to make more contacts. And, honestly, I would feel a little weird about trying to date a student or an adopter directly; I'd feel a lot more comfortable if that just developed into a friendship and then they were the ones to suggest single friends who might also be looking. Better to have a little bit of a buffer in case things don't work out, IMO. But that may just be me.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Las Presitas said:


> Do u mind if I ask how old you are? I didn't get marry till close to 40 and it was a blessing. By then I knew exactly who I was and who my husband was. We got married because we loved each other exactly the way we are. So many of my friends who got married in their 20s are already divorced. It is VERY hard to date, but you need to make an effort and find a group of people you can hang with similar interests. I agree the bar scene sucks. If your friends only want to go out late, why don't u suggest happy hour. It is not about finding someone at bar, but just about being social. The more time you spend alone the easier it is to stay home and isolate yourself. Are there any dog clubs or parks around you? Do u attend religious services? They usually have social events... Hang in there. It is never to late
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Oh I'm quite social, don't get me wrong there... Its not for lack of exposure to single women, just most are not attractive to me for some of the reasons already mentioned, and when I am attracted its often a very flaky discouraging experience. A good friend just got broken up with my his gf of 6 months who I actually really liked (as a person) via txt... lost a lot of respect for her on that one. sort of hurt my hopes there was another "her" around here somewhere as she turned out to be just like the rest lol.

I have a strong desire to have kids which is where the pressure has really started to increase. I have a friend who is a bit older than me that said "screw it" and met online and just married a girl from China and brought her over lol. So I know I'm not the only one that is getting fed up with the dating scene here I guess lol.


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## Las Presitas (May 10, 2013)

I hope he got a good prenup.... Have an acquaintance who did the same thing and the minute she had her citizenship and child (for support) she fell out of love. Amazing how that happens. Lol I know how hard it can be. I keep wishing my bro would meet someone. At the same time, I have a lot of friends who are great smart educated girls who can't find a good guy. I think there are good people on both sides, but it is just hard for people to connect now a days. Just keep a positive attitude and keep your heart open...


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> Oh I'm quite social, don't get me wrong there... Its not for lack of exposure to single women, just most are not attractive to me for some of the reasons already mentioned, and when I am attracted its often a very flaky discouraging experience. A good friend just got broken up with my his gf of 6 months who I actually really liked (as a person) via txt... lost a lot of respect for her on that one. sort of hurt my hopes there was another "her" around here somewhere as she turned out to be just like the rest lol.
> 
> I have a strong desire to have kids which is where the pressure has really started to increase. I have a friend who is a bit older than me that said "screw it" and met online and just married a girl from China and brought her over lol. So I know I'm not the only one that is getting fed up with the dating scene here I guess lol.


I'm the opposite as I actually have ZERO desire to have kids and my fiancé doesn't care either way. Not that we even have the extra money, space, or time anyway. We have been dating or engaged for 9 years now (I'm almost 28, he just turned 31) and aren't in a rush to get married either, this is a mutual feeling. He is not that much into dogs, he tolerates the 5 we have now but complains a lot about them. He thinks I am crazy for wanting to do dog sports and liking to spend time with them. He always went with me to schutzhund training in GA but I think that was more because my stuff would only fit in his truck and he didn't want me driving it  I actually wish he was more into the dogs. 
Every single one of our friends have kids now and it drives me crazy. I'm not really into kids, they tend to exhaust me and I can't stand hearing babies cry or young kids constantly whining about everything. It really limits what activities we can do, how long we can stay out, etc. 
I could never imagine in a million years ever planning a date with someone then not showing up. I LOVED dating, I thought it was fun, and even went out on some dates with guys who kept asking that I wasn't all that into and weren't my very specific type which turned into more friend type relationships usually but had one I dated for 6 months, I just loved dating. If I were single now I would love to try online dating, I don't think it's weird or desperate or anything negative at all (even though I think my specific look would attract a lot of creepers, for one thing I look 18 not 28) but yes I would be very angry if guys didn't show up.


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

I know of a few people who have met and married thru the local singles internet sites. Not something I'd want to do, but they do work! 
Where I train, there are always single women training....not many single guys(or guys at all, it seems like women dominate the sport)


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## Smithie86 (Jan 9, 2001)

It will happen when you stop looking for it. .

And what Lisa said. No matter what, find someone that you support their hobbies and passions and visa versa. Make sure you have balance in your life and do other things other than dogs or what other person does.


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

Successful, eh? Hi my name is Lauren.......


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

ugavet2012 said:


> I'm the opposite as I actually have ZERO desire to have kids and my fiancé doesn't care either way. Not that we even have the extra money, space, or time anyway. We have been dating or engaged for 9 years now (I'm almost 28, he just turned 31) and aren't in a rush to get married either, this is a mutual feeling. He is not that much into dogs, he tolerates the 5 we have now but complains a lot about them. He thinks I am crazy for wanting to do dog sports and liking to spend time with them. He always went with me to schutzhund training in GA but I think that was more because my stuff would only fit in his truck and he didn't want me driving it  I actually wish he was more into the dogs.
> Every single one of our friends have kids now and it drives me crazy. I'm not really into kids, they tend to exhaust me and I can't stand hearing babies cry or young kids constantly whining about everything. It really limits what activities we can do, how long we can stay out, etc.
> I could never imagine in a million years ever planning a date with someone then not showing up. I LOVED dating, I thought it was fun, and even went out on some dates with guys who kept asking that I wasn't all that into and weren't my very specific type which turned into more friend type relationships usually but had one I dated for 6 months, I just loved dating. If I were single now I would love to try online dating, I don't think it's weird or desperate or anything negative at all (even though I think my specific look would attract a lot of creepers, for one thing I look 18 not 28) but yes I would be very angry if guys didn't show up.


I don't like other peoples kids, just want my own lol. Other peoples kids who are horridly behaved annoy me in exactly the same fashion as other peoples dogs who are horridly behaved.

And if I had my way, I'd never get married... don't need to involve the state or the law in my personal relationships. Marriage itself offers no advantage to me, and puts my entire life's financial success at severe, and statistically likely, risk of loss.

I'm 33 and look younger (always get ID'ed, and I'm also about 5'8" and 135lbs which I've yet to find a woman who preferred shorter, lighter built guys with baby faces lol). But those are things I have no control over... everything that I can affect in some way - financial success, professional success, my personality, honesty, behavior, attitude, etc - I've done my absolute best to maximize.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

LaRen616 said:


> Successful, eh? Hi my name is Lauren.......


lol successful in my eyes at least. Almost done with my masters in computer science (will likely never finish... too busy, too little ROI) I started an engineering firm in 2008 that has done well, and am in the middle of starting another firm now.

which brings up another point... I always have to be cautious about what someones motivations are... I've come across a few who really just wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor lol. I rarely share with potential or actual dates my professional achievements... only if they really ask. Otherwise I just tell them I work in the IT field and don't tell them I own the company lol.

I'm not naive enough to think that being financially successful is not a powerful attractive quality for a guy, but I don't want it to be the initial one, or the primary one. Starting & running businesses is hard, and risky. Theres a decent chance I could end up penniless at some point, and start over again... I require someone who will stick around in any rough weather while I rebuild lol.


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> lol successful in my eyes at least. Almost done with my masters in computer science (will likely never finish... too busy, too little ROI) I started an engineering firm in 2008 that has done well, and am in the middle of starting another firm now.
> 
> which brings up another point... I always have to be cautious about what someones motivations are... I've come across a few who really just wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor lol. I rarely share with potential or actual dates my professional achievements... only if they really ask. Otherwise I just tell them I work in the IT field and don't tell them I own the company lol.


You just gave away your secret to all of us, you better steer clear of any ladies from this forum, they might be after ye lucky charms.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

LaRen616 said:


> You just gave away your secret to all of us, you better steer clear of any ladies from this forum, they might be after ye lucky charms.


I haven't gotten fleeced yet so I'll take all challengers lol. Its not a secret, all my friends know. Anyone paying attention could figure it out pretty quickly I think.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Common law is just about as bad as marriage, to be honest, as far as financial risk goes. But I don't think you can go into it with that type of outlook. 

I think if you and whoever you may meet are honest about who you are and what you want in life, are like minded and will both work hard at your relationship/marriage, even in the rough patches, that you change those odds greatly, in your favour.

I do think those people are out there...just don't ask me where they're hiding. It's not in southern Ontario I can tell you that. lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> Common law is just about as bad as marriage, to be honest, as far as financial risk goes. But I don't think you can go into it with that type of outlook.
> 
> I think if you and whoever you may meet are honest about who you are and what you want in life, are like minded and will both work hard at your relationship/marriage, even in the rough patches, that you change those odds greatly, in your favour.
> 
> I do think those people are out there...just don't ask me where they're hiding. It's not in southern Ontario I can tell you that. lol


Yeah I know about common law... I dated an attorney who told me any prenup can be thrown out so she wouldn't even bother with one b/c of the tone it sets and I agree with her. 

The women I tend to meet are either coming with exceedingly high expectations without coming to the table with very much, are interested in nothing beyond casual dating until they aren't nervous around you and then in their eyes "the magic is gone"... butterfly chasers if you will, or those that are so eager to get married and start their white-picket-fence dream that they don't really care who the other warm body is anyway lol.. that doesn't make one feel special.

I know there are amazing women out there, but for the life of me I can't seem to locate where they hide when they are single. I'd have better odds finding them cold calling in the phonebook than trolling in bars and clubs lol.


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> I know there are amazing women out there, but for the life of me I can't seem to locate where they hide when they are single. I'd have better odds finding them cold calling in the phonebook than trolling in bars and clubs lol.


I am watching this thread, because I am also in the over 30 recently single, advanced career crowd. I supported my X more than I would like to admit. This line above gives me a ton of hope :thumbsdown:

As a woman who has something to bring to the table and single, I lay low, I dont advertise and I have become a people watcher per say. I am also not actively looking right now and not sure when in the future I will be. I dont do club scenes, and if I am the bar I am very disinterested in whom I may find there. I guess I expect the perfect mate to jump out of thin air and say here I am!!! 

I dont know if I fall into the "amazing woman" catagory but I do think I have a lot to offer to the right person given the right opportunity. I have found though through the last 13 years of my on and off again relationship what I do not want and I will steer very clear of anything that slightly resembles it. 

I guess I am waiting for that cold call from the phone book :fingerscrossed: ROFL, I have never heard something like that... Cold calling... LOL


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Diesel and Lace said:


> I am watching this thread, because I am also in the over 30 recently single, advanced career crowd. I supported my X more than I would like to admit. This line above gives me a ton of hope :thumbsdown:
> 
> As a woman who has something to bring to the table and single, I lay low, I dont advertise and I have become a people watcher per say. I am also not actively looking right now and not sure when in the future I will be. I dont do club scenes, and if I am the bar I am very disinterested in whom I may find there. I guess I expect the perfect mate to jump out of thin air and say here I am!!!
> 
> ...


There theres at least one, in PA lol. 

I never go to clubs unless I'm dragged there for some occasion... I loath clubs... 

I don't know if that was sarcasm or honesty, so could you clarify, regarding the "single, laying low, expect mr right to sleuth you out of hiding"? 

Guys have to be very cautious about pursuing women who don't advertise they are available and interested... in the off chance they are then there is the birth of a sweet "He wouldn't take no for an answer and now we've been married for 50 years" story, but more likely you get the dreaded "stalker" label which women through around a little to loosely, just as if I (being 33) were to date an 18 year old (hey, they are pretty to look like, but we have nothing in common, nothing to talk about, and are in entirely different stages of life... so this isn't gonna happen) I'd get the "pedo" label... Thats a whole different thread and cultural issue lol

On the flip side, I'm yelling "Hey, give me a look... I'm single, no kids or baggage, I'll never borrow money from you, no criminal record, no history of infidelity, honest and kind, done sowing my wild oats and just want a partner" and get the "I only date guys 5'10" or taller" or "I don't like brown eyes", or "your truck is 4x4 and thus you must be a backwoods *******", or more recently "If you're single and not recently divorced then I'm sure there is something wrong with you that I just can't identify at the moment" lol.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> The women I tend to meet are either coming with exceedingly high expectations without coming to the table with very much


Can you expand on that? I'm not sure I understand.

I'm just throwing this out there - maybe your expectations are too great also? I don't mean this in a mean way. Sometimes we think we want something, but it's not what we need. 

Sometimes we think we want someone with an income to match ours (and if you've been very successful, this is going to really limit your potentials). Someone with a certain look, certain weight, certain way of dressing etc. The perfect girl for you might not have those things. Someone told me once 'marry the person you can talk to'. All those other things are not important and can change in an instant. 

I was on a dating site once and was contacted by a guy who was bragging about his money, picture of him leaning against an expensive car, saying he was an honest guy - he was interested in someone who was tall, slim, good looking etc. I'm tall, but I don't know about good looking and I've probably gained 20 lbs since then, but the point is, I was willing to give most guys a chance, but I deleted that guy so fast it would make your head spin. What a superficial arse he was, he could not have made himself more unattractive to me if he tried. 

One of my friends is head over heels in love with her husband, and he was not her type AT. ALL. Somehow he was persistent enough, and she caved in. Their first date was a disaster. He somehow talked her into a second date. It went a little better. The rest is history. He's just a really great guy, who loves her to bits. I guess just stay open minded. If you don't want someone to judge you by how much you make, then don't judge them by how much they do. It's not important. (Sorry if I misunderstood that part!)


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> I know there are amazing women out there, but for the life of me I can't seem to locate where they hide when they are single. I'd have better odds finding them cold calling in the phonebook than trolling in bars and clubs lol.


Ok....here is my take. And remember, I'm a 50 year old woman who has been married for over 31 years. So don't take this as an insult......

You are a driven, self absorbed young man. But in a good way. You don't do anything half way. You don't just get your feet wet, but you jump in and give it your all. If it's worth doing, you'll give it 110%. 

Am I close?

When you go to the grocery store, you don't muddle around and browse. You go right in, get what you need and leave. 

You rarely window shop, unless it's for gathering information. Even then, there is a purpose behind it. 

Am I close?

If you're in the grocery store...or feed store...or at a canine type function...where is your attention?

If you really think about it, how many times do you actually make direct eye contact with a female? Not someone you know, but a perfect stranger. 

Direct eye contact, a slight smile and maybe a quiet "Hi" opens so many doors. It doesn't matter where you are, or who you're with. It's an open invite. 

But...when a person is so absorbed in the purpose of their actions, they fail to take a moment and smell the roses. They fail to notice those around them. 

Does this make sense?


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## Roemly's Mama (Apr 3, 2013)

Hey Hunter, I see you are a USA Trial Helper-are you going to the Schutz Worlds in Oct in Philadelphia? If so I have a nice, I think totally amazing person to introduce you to who is of similar mind. So make that 2 in PA


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> I don't know if that was sarcasm or honesty, so could you clarify, regarding the "single, laying low, expect mr right to sleuth you out of hiding"?
> 
> On the flip side, I'm yelling "Hey, give me a look... I'm single, no kids or baggage, I'll never borrow money from you, no criminal record, no history of infidelity, honest and kind, done sowing my wild oats and just want a partner" and get the "I only date guys 5'10" or taller" or "I don't like brown eyes", or "your truck is 4x4 and thus you must be a backwoods *******", or more recently "If you're single and not recently divorced then I'm sure there is something wrong with you that I just can't identify at the moment" lol.


Ok I really cant stop laughing at this point... 

I just dont advertise that I am single: I mean I don't wear a ring but at the same time I am not out dressed to lure in some poor schlub into buying me drinks, I dont flip my hair and act as a cat in heat rubbing against the leg of every relatively attractive single man I see, I will have conversations with people I dont know, but I intentionally steer the conversation away from my singledom. I suppose I am more cautious of others and their motives than you are... The point is that the "good" ones are not out there rubbing against you like a cat in heat, they are leaving something to the imagination with the way they are dressed, and you are probably overlooking them. They are not out to get free drinks from who ever they can, they are paying their own way. If you talk to them their conversations are going to be very unassuming that they are even mildly interested because they are just as or maybe even more cautious than you are.... 

On the flip side, one of my qualifications for a guy is my truck can't be bigger than his... (LOL JK) And there is nothing wrong with a backwoods kind of guy... Own it! I own all the things that scare men away from me... I look at it this way, take it or leave it... yes my truck is bigger than yours, no I dont need a man to take care of me, and yes I like to camp, fish, hunt, ride horses and my dog sleeps in my bed which leaves little to no room for anyone else... I am not going to change that so why pretend like it doesnt exist...


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> Can you expand on that? I'm not sure I understand.
> 
> I'm just throwing this out there - maybe your expectations are too great also? I don't mean this in a mean way. Sometimes we think we want something, but it's not what we need.
> 
> ...


There are tons of examples. Last woman I was in love with (and we were together for a long time) told me when I asked why it was so hard for me to get the second date, was that she thought I was too short. She was 5'0". I'm 5'8". Thats about the limit of how short I can go just out of the mechanics of it all lol. She also had a dog (toy breed), and when I said I was getting a GSD she said "big dogs have no personality", generally didn't like me getting a dog, and we parted ways within 3 months after I got him. Some women expect the entire relationship to be like those initial butterfly's in the stomach forever and confuse that with love. Many seem to expect the guy to completely conform to their life without bending at all to his. Lots of guys are willing to completely do this which sucks for those of us that aren't a complete pushover. I've had women who found out I am a former Marine and said "I dated a Marine once and he was an ahole so I won't date Marines ever again". There are women who want to quit their job when they get married to be stay at home mom's, but want there to also be a nanny and a maid (and a essentially just not do anything), all the while wanting to move into bigger and nicer houses, demand to trade in the Rav4 for a Landcruiser, and the guy is breaking himself to pay for it all working 80+ hours a week, and she complains he's never around... last one is a specific case I'm aware of lol


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## Zeeva (Aug 10, 2010)

This might sound silly but I'll ask for you anyway...

Anyone on the forum want to meet with a strapping single male who loves dogs?!?

I hope you find someone...I got my dogs after I got married. There's no way I would've found someone if I had dogs since our culture is so taboo toward them.


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## OyMyShepherdBoy (Jun 13, 2013)

It is possible to find someone worth while online! It is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but it is possible. I have done it! Its interesting and most of the time I just got the creepers who would have better luck on craigslist. After one too many creepers I took the time to rewrite my profile to exactly what I was looking for! I find that most people are really vague in their profiles. I got online one day to DELETE my profile after a series of awful dates (about a year of them), and to my surprise I have a lovely message from a man who is now my bf. 

After hearing how his online dating experience went I would say that a majority of women who are on these dating sites don't know what they want in a man, or have an unrealistic ideal that no man can live up to. I snooped at other female profiles, and I was not impressed (but i'm not a man, all the mirror pictures and self absorbed ramblings might be what most men find attractive). I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to be a man in the online dating world. 

I was about 15 minutes late to our first meeting but didn't want to text or call while on the freeway so I had to wait until I was five minutes away to say "I really am coming, I will be there in five minutes!" when I finally got there he told me that it wouldn't have been the first time a girl didn't show up for a planned date. I was shocked but I guess it happens a lot! It still blows my mind that people do it.

Wow that's a lot of rambling (sorry). Find somewhere you feel comfortable meeting people. I'm a very social person but hate the bar scene and most of my time was taken up between work and being a caretaker for my great grandma. Online was my only way of meeting people at the time. never be worried to be the one who approaches someone. I would get so mad when I caught men looking at me but never approaching me.

I guess what I want to tell you is sometimes you have to go through a bunch of crap before you find something worth keeping. If you are going to go the online route don't judge a book by its cover. I'm no skinny blonde model. Genetics have not worked in my favor. I come from a long line of curvy women, and I am very blessed to have found someone who saw me in person and said "You are more beautiful in person."


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Lilie said:


> Ok....here is my take. And remember, I'm a 50 year old woman who has been married for over 31 years. So don't take this as an insult......
> 
> You are a driven, self absorbed young man. But in a good way. You don't do anything half way. You don't just get your feet wet, but you jump in and give it your all. If it's worth doing, you'll give it 110%.
> 
> ...


Fully understand what you're saying and largely on target. I won't dispute your assessment. I make eye contact often, certainly don't avoid it. These days I typically check the hands first lol, but after that sure lol. I just don't know where these women are hiding these days. I work in IT (95% male field), not in school, I can't really take on any new hobbies lol already neglecting ones I have. Also, nothing sucks like meeting a woman somewhere striking up great conversation, getting a little excited that I've got her attention and then getting the "oh, and here's by boyfriend you guys would probably get along great" but you can't exactly lead into a conversation with "before we talk, you're single right?" lol.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Roemly's Mama said:


> Hey Hunter, I see you are a USA Trial Helper-are you going to the Schutz Worlds in Oct in Philadelphia? If so I have a nice, I think totally amazing person to introduce you to who is of similar mind. So make that 2 in PA


lol probably won't make it up there... however even if I did, how does one tackle the 800 mile problem lol. I tried a long distance thing once. We dug each other, but could only see each other once a month or so... neither of us could move, and so we parted ways. We still chat on occasion, but I don't know how you can make a long distance thing work for anything more than a temporary period


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> On the flip side, I'm yelling "Hey, give me a look... I'm single, no kids or baggage, I'll never borrow money from you, no criminal record, no history of infidelity, honest and kind, done sowing my wild oats and just want a partner" and get the "I only date guys 5'10" or taller" or "I don't like brown eyes", or "your truck is 4x4 and thus you must be a backwoods *******", or more recently "If you're single and not recently divorced then I'm sure there is something wrong with you that I just can't identify at the moment" lol.


Sometimes it's not about what YOU bring to the relationship but what can you put up with? What flaws are acceptable that will still have that girl as a candidate 6 months down the road? We’re all human and flawed, some just hide it better then others

One of my friends is the classic blonde and blue eye sweet girl from next door. She had a type: tall blonde ripped surfer dude as we called it. She married a 6'8 scrawny nerdy dark hair Dutch guy with huge feet. I admit it, I laughed when I heard that he was interested in her and she did rebuff him but he continue to pursue her until she gave in. They're now married with two kids and blissfully happy, if she continued to have the mindset of what she wanted she would have continued to turn him away and she would have had a completely different life. Would it have been better or worse? Who knows but she's very happy with what she's got.

The relationships I have now, but romantic and non-romantic are completely different then when I was younger. Expectations and reality change, and Prince Charming has changed from that dashing guy on a while stallion living in a castle to someone who cares enough to call if he's going to be late and helps out with dinner and housework once in a while. Steadiness and kindness trump a fat bank account and someone who seriously doesn't want kids is off my list immediately as a romantic interest. I know I personally have really learned to look at the inside of a person to find the true worth and not get held up on the outside attitude, appearance, and net worth.

Oh, and the worst part is I work in a largely male dominated field and office. As in 1 to 50 easily, working with guys of all races, ages, and backgrounds 9+ hours a day really sometimes kills that need for more testosterone when I get home lol Being a "work wife" has it's ups and downs for sure when it comes to managing them


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Diesel and Lace said:


> Ok I really cant stop laughing at this point...
> 
> I just dont advertise that I am single: I mean I don't wear a ring but at the same time I am not out dressed to lure in some poor schlub into buying me drinks, I dont flip my hair and act as a cat in heat rubbing against the leg of every relatively attractive single man I see, I will have conversations with people I dont know, but I intentionally steer the conversation away from my singledom. I suppose I am more cautious of others and their motives than you are... The point is that the "good" ones are not out there rubbing against you like a cat in heat, they are leaving something to the imagination with the way they are dressed, and you are probably overlooking them. They are not out to get free drinks from who ever they can, they are paying their own way. If you talk to them their conversations are going to be very unassuming that they are even mildly interested because they are just as or maybe even more cautious than you are....
> 
> On the flip side, one of my qualifications for a guy is my truck can't be bigger than his... (LOL JK) And there is nothing wrong with a backwoods kind of guy... Own it! I own all the things that scare men away from me... I look at it this way, take it or leave it... yes my truck is bigger than yours, no I dont need a man to take care of me, and yes I like to camp, fish, hunt, ride horses and my dog sleeps in my bed which leaves little to no room for anyone else... I am not going to change that so why pretend like it doesnt exist...


Well I'm not a backwoods kinda guy just that I've had people assume so lol. 

I've had so many times I was wrong on what a woman's intentions were that I just don't put much expectation of what will happen most of the time these days lol Kinda like the "ask me on a date and the no-show"... I'd have thought asking me out on a date was as clear a green flag as there could be, but as this has happened 3 times in 2 years I'm inclined to think there's a highly defamatory webpage somewhere women are reading when googling my name lol... only logical solution lmao.

Seriously though, if a woman is interested she has to show some sort of sign... its bad for one's health to pursue women who show no interest


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

OyMyShepherdBoy said:


> It is possible to find someone worth while online! It is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but it is possible. I have done it! Its interesting and most of the time I just got the creepers who would have better luck on craigslist. After one too many creepers I took the time to rewrite my profile to exactly what I was looking for! I find that most people are really vague in their profiles. I got online one day to DELETE my profile after a series of awful dates (about a year of them), and to my surprise I have a lovely message from a man who is now my bf.
> 
> After hearing how his online dating experience went I would say that a majority of women who are on these dating sites don't know what they want in a man, or have an unrealistic ideal that no man can live up to. I snooped at other female profiles, and I was not impressed (but i'm not a man, all the mirror pictures and self absorbed ramblings might be what most men find attractive). I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to be a man in the online dating world.
> 
> ...


lol I know a few people who have been married from eharmony. been on eharmony for years. keeps matching me with people in DC, and Miami, and Kentucky... even after I set my limits to 50 miles... just keeps saying "here is a great match just a little outside your distance setting" lol.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Ok I gotcha!

Hey maybe you and D&L should hook up  I'd offer, but you know...I'm a Canuck. 

And I agree with D&L actually. Don't apologize for who you are, or what you like, (or how tall you are??) because those are things that make you who you are.

As for shorter guys, I'm 5'10" and while I would not judge a guy on his height, I dated a guy who was something like 5'3", he was SO sort and it was just...awkward. lol So I can understand to a certain extent, you aren't what I would consider to be short. My ex was S.H.O.R.T. lol 

That's not why we broke up though, he was fairly well to do and I always felt like he was trying to wow me, he was always 'on' and always trying to be this perfect guy. Sounds weird, but sometimes I just wanted to hang out and wear sweatpants and have a beer, I'm just not a high maintenance girl and he kept treating me like one.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Shade said:


> Sometimes it's not about what YOU bring to the relationship but what can you put up with? What flaws are acceptable that will still have that girl as a candidate 6 months down the road? We’re all human and flawed, some just hide it better then others
> 
> One of my friends is the classic blonde and blue eye sweet girl from next door. She had a type: tall blonde ripped surfer dude as we called it. She married a 6'8 scrawny nerdy dark hair Dutch guy with huge feet. I admit it, I laughed when I heard that he was interested in her and she did rebuff him but he continue to pursue her until she gave in. They're now married with two kids and blissfully happy, if she continued to have the mindset of what she wanted she would have continued to turn him away and she would have had a completely different life. Would it have been better or worse? Who knows but she's very happy with what she's got.
> 
> ...


Trust me I don't expect perfection by any means lol. If anything I'm known for sticking it out when relationships when my friends & family are questioning why I'm with someone lol.

I actually want kids and the "I hate kids, no kids for me" types are non-starters... you'd be shocked how many women these days want nothing to do with a family... maybe that changes as the clock ticks but not a gamble I can afford to take.

And its not that I expect all I need to do is be financially successful. I've also been the cook in every single relationship lol. Never had a gf who could cook much beyond chicken and rice to be honest lol.. thats fine though, I like cooking. I cook all my meals at home anyway so its just a matter of changing the portions.

I'm trying to figure out "what I'm doing wrong" or "what can I change", to better the odds, but I'm at a total loss... I've done all the things that I'm "supposed to do".


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> Ok I gotcha!
> 
> Hey maybe you and D&L should hook up  I'd offer, but you know...I'm a Canuck.
> 
> ...


My first love was 6'0" (awkward prom photo), and I've dated several women taller than me. I've found they have *considerably* less issue dating me than women around 5'3" and below. Short women seem to be really hung up on the guy's height, so much so that I coined it "Reverse Napoleon Syndrome". I don't care that much about height, but to be blunt it is a little bit emasculating when the woman is bigger than the man as men are supposed to fill the role of "strength and protector", carrying the new wife over the threshold and all that,


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

*great point*



hunterisgreat said:


> Fully understand what you're saying and largely on target. I won't dispute your assessment. I make eye contact often, certainly don't avoid it. These days I typically check the hands first lol, but after that sure lol. I just don't know where these women are hiding these days. I work in IT (95% male field), not in school, I can't really take on any new hobbies lol already neglecting ones I have. Also, nothing sucks like meeting a woman somewhere striking up great conversation, getting a little excited that I've got her attention and then getting the "oh, and here's by boyfriend you guys would probably get along great" but you can't exactly lead into a conversation with "before we talk, you're single right?" lol.


you are right, you cant start off a convo with "hey lady you single"? lol but for instance, to point in my perspective. I am a 26 yr old man. I enjoy talking to women, have been in relationships serious and not so much. So for example, when i am talking to a women i find attractive and we are getting along and then she busts the bf card (usually after i ask to take them for drinks or dinner yada yada) i reply something of the sort... "Thats great you have a bf! do you tell everyone this? he is invited to dinner also, maybe bring along a few of your friends as well." This instead of closing the door on one person due to them being involved with someone, opens a door to a whole new network of people. Already the woman you are speaking to knows that you are most likely single since you tried courting her, so instantly she goes through her mental contact list and does all the work of finding single women for you. and i dont mean that in a pawn the responsibility off on a woman deal im just saying. women probably know more single women then men know single women. give it a try. never close a door that you wish to remain open. plus i have had a joyful blast when a woman that i asked out "accidently" forgets her bf and brings 5 single friends to dinner. very amusing. other ideas would be to have a get together with said involved females, their bf, their single friends, and your married friends... dogs are taken care of, people you are comfortable with are there, your dates are comfortable with people they are with and so on. I wish you the best of luck man. and honestly, if you can intrigue a woman she will forget about height weight looks (to an extent) habits, basically anything lol. because a shining knight in armour is not attractive because he is good looking and shiny. he attracts her because he opens her to a world of unknown, new adventures, experiences, and emotions. passion. depth.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Join karate!  Good male-female ratio and really nice, positive, people. I dated 2 guys from karate and one friend met her hubby there! It's impossible not to get to know one another a little better when you see some of the...errrr...interesting positions you find yourself in.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> to be blunt it is a little bit emasculating when the woman is bigger than the man as men are supposed to fill the role of "strength and protector", carrying the new wife over the threshold and all that,


Yeah, but you've got some big dogs, so that's got to buy you a few extra points on the 'strength and protector' scale. lol


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> Trust me I don't expect perfection by any means lol. If anything I'm known for sticking it out when relationships when my friends & family are questioning why I'm with someone lol.
> 
> I actually want kids and the "I hate kids, no kids for me" types are non-starters... you'd be shocked how many women these days want nothing to do with a family... maybe that changes as the clock ticks but not a gamble I can afford to take.
> 
> ...


You know the saying, it's not you it's me? Or should I quote Dory from Finding Nemo: "just keep swimming swimming swimming"

Keep looking, she's out there somewhere. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and a lot to offer, the right person just needs to see it


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

Unfortunately, people get their ideas about love and relationships from movies and TV. Not very realistic. You said you felt no initial attraction, why not see if it develops? Are you looking for love at first sight? Maybe she is not as thin as you like, or as smart as she appears, or has a big nose or small boobs, doesn't meant she is unworthy. Your initial attraction must be based on looks, because you know nothing else. That is very shallow and will reap you lots of shallow options.

I find it annoying that guys who are only a3 or a4 expect to get a woman who is above a six. If you don't want women to be only after your money, then don't be only after a pretty face. You reap what you sow.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## ken k (Apr 3, 2006)

hunterisgreat said:


> Some women expect the entire relationship to be like those initial butterfly's in the stomach forever and confuse that with love. Many seem to expect the guy to completely conform to their life without bending at all to his. Lots of guys are willing to completely do this which sucks for those of us that aren't a complete pushover. I've had women who found out I am a former Marine and said "I dated a Marine once and he was an ahole so I won't date Marines ever again". There are women who want to quit their job when they get married to be stay at home mom's, but want there to also be a nanny and a maid (and a essentially just not do anything), all the while wanting to move into bigger and nicer houses, demand to trade in the Rav4 for a Landcruiser, and the guy is breaking himself to pay for it all working 80+ hours a week, and she complains he's never around... last one is a specific case I'm aware of lol


LOL, you nailed it on this one, but, not all women are like this, about ten years ago I just stopped looking, got tired of all of the above, plus for some reason I seemed to attract the psycho`s, so I figured I`d just grow old alone, about 8 years ago, in dog class, she walked in, make a long story short, and i`m sure you have been told this, "there is someone for everybody", stop trying so hard, take your dog to as many outdoor events you can, she will find you, this 2 cents from an old fart


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Jaythethird said:


> you are right, you cant start off a convo with "hey lady you single"? lol but for instance, to point in my perspective. I am a 26 yr old man. I enjoy talking to women, have been in relationships serious and not so much. So for example, when i am talking to a women i find attractive and we are getting along and then she busts the bf card (usually after i ask to take them for drinks or dinner yada yada) i reply something of the sort... "Thats great you have a bf! do you tell everyone this? he is invited to dinner also, maybe bring along a few of your friends as well." This instead of closing the door on one person due to them being involved with someone, opens a door to a whole new network of people. Already the woman you are speaking to knows that you are most likely single since you tried courting her, so instantly she goes through her mental contact list and does all the work of finding single women for you. and i dont mean that in a pawn the responsibility off on a woman deal im just saying. women probably know more single women then men know single women. give it a try. never close a door that you wish to remain open. plus i have had a joyful blast when a woman that i asked out "accidently" forgets her bf and brings 5 single friends to dinner. very amusing. other ideas would be to have a get together with said involved females, their bf, their single friends, and your married friends... dogs are taken care of, people you are comfortable with are there, your dates are comfortable with people they are with and so on. I wish you the best of luck man. and honestly, if you can intrigue a woman she will forget about height weight looks (to an extent) habits, basically anything lol. because a shining knight in armour is not attractive because he is good looking and shiny. he attracts her because he opens her to a world of unknown, new adventures, experiences, and emotions. passion. depth.


Thats a good point, I've not really continued the pursuit and moved a girl into "maybe she's got interesting friends" category in those cases lol. 

Man, let me tell you, dating seems to hit a wall around 30... not just for me but many of my friends as well.

I've always joked with people that if I can get a woman to actually listen to me for an hour I can win her over. Theres a lot of truth in that, but a) its not conducive to the online thing since you're just part of a big list sorted by whatever metric she wants, and b) that first hour is by far the hardest one to get. I'm no stranger on how to attract women... its a supply/demand issue lol.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

ken k said:


> LOL, you nailed it on this one, but, not all women are like this, about ten years ago I just stopped looking, got tired of all of the above, plus for some reason I seemed to attract the psycho`s, so I figured I`d just grow old alone, about 8 years ago, in dog class, she walked in, make a long story short, and i`m sure you have been told this, "there is someone for everybody", stop trying so hard, take your dog to as many outdoor events you can, she will find you, this 2 cents from an old fart


I'm probably smack dab in the middle of the "F'it, its just not in the cards and its insane to keep going down the same path expecting a different result" lol phase... and I'm partly venting here as well lol

And its not just me and my experience... watching friends and family's marriages implode, looking at all the single mothers, etc... hard to even have much expectations when there are so few happy endings lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> Join karate!  Good male-female ratio and really nice, positive, people. I dated 2 guys from karate and one friend met her hubby there! It's impossible not to get to know one another a little better when you see some of the...errrr...interesting positions you find yourself in.


lol I studied gracie jiu-jitsu for years... broke my back pretty good so I'm afraid martial arts are no longer a good idea lol


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

I am only responding because you asked for it... Just remember that. I am a very honest person and will keep my opinion to myself if the question is not raised but you raised it so strap on your big boy pants here it comes 



hunterisgreat said:


> Seriously though, if a woman is interested she has to show some sort of sign... its bad for one's health to pursue women who show no interest


Bad for your health or bad for your ego? There is a difference, some people cannot make a snap decision based on one conversation and I would think the cat in heat is going to be the one jumping on it while the educated individual will assess the situation and respond accordingly. What ever happened to giving someone a phone number and forgetting it? No proposition, no intention, if they call they call.... The road goes both ways.



hunterisgreat said:


> I actually want kids and the "I hate kids, no kids for me" types are non-starters... you'd be shocked how many women these days want nothing to do with a family... maybe that changes as the clock ticks but not a gamble I can afford to take.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out "what I'm doing wrong" or "what can I change", to better the odds, but I'm at a total loss... I've done all the things that I'm "supposed to do".


The kids thing is something I cannot relate to. I am one of those women who do not want any. My reasons are very personal to me, they are not up for discussion in the first couple of meetings or even for a while for that matter. If having a family is something so important its a deal breaker then by all means draw your line in the sand, but if it is something you could consider an option with the right girl, then dont draw that line. Maybe her reasons are something you would understand and agree with. There are a lot of reasons for something like that beyond the superficial "hate kids" 

Hang onto your big boy pants the what is wrong is coming up 



hunterisgreat said:


> to be blunt it is a little bit emasculating when the woman is bigger than the man as men are supposed to fill the role of "strength and protector", carrying the new wife over the threshold and all that,


You are trying to fill a role that is no longer necessary. Not many woman that fit into what you appear to be what you want are looking for their strength and protector. They are plenty capable of taking care of themselves. They are looking for a partner in life not a protector, someone who compliments them and is their equal not their superior... 


And here it goes.... Just remember you asked... 

I saw back further in the thread you are X military. Your mannerisms and the way you view things shows it. While I am not bothered by a military or X military guy (my X is active duty, and I admire all who serve or have), many girls will run for the hills. Its just a plain fact, I know several of my single friends who passed on guys that myself and others thought were such a catch. Your military career changed you into the person you are which is not a bad thing IMO, but to some girls it is scary, intimidating, and down right a turn off. I would keep that little artifact to yourself until they get to know you ( a date or two or three ). The preconceived notion about military men is not accurate but to a girl from the civilian world who has no experience with someone from that type of background (or maybe they do and they hated growing up that way and now punish all men for it) will just write someone off. 

Again I dont necessarily agree with the way X military men are viewed but I do see it happen quite often.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

hunterisgreat said:


> Started training both mine in Jan 2011... started really getting into it at some point, and started doing helperwork last year... Now I'm training other dogs many times a week. I was just thinking... since I started down the dog training path, I've been single. As the years tick by and another B-Day is rolling up fast (coupled with a few sarcastic comments here or there about the "dog thing") I'm wondering if these are related. Thoughts? All the "dog people" know who are in functional relationships have equally "dog-people" sig others...
> 
> Or does dating and finding people just get this much harder with age? I truly don't understand why I'm single and watching all my friends get married, have kids, etc...
> 
> ("Stop looking and you'll find someone" and other such gems just frustrate me further btw lol. If a guy stops looking and trying, he dies alone lol)


Man, I wish my husband was like you!


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Cheyanna said:


> Unfortunately, people get their ideas about love and relationships from movies and TV. Not very realistic. You said you felt no initial attraction, why not see if it develops? Are you looking for love at first sight? Maybe she is not as thin as you like, or as smart as she appears, or has a big nose or small boobs, doesn't meant she is unworthy. Your initial attraction must be based on looks, because you know nothing else. That is very shallow and will reap you lots of shallow options.
> 
> I find it annoying that guys who are only a3 or a4 expect to get a woman who is above a six. If you don't want women to be only after your money, then don't be only after a pretty face. You reap what you sow.
> 
> ...


I actually did that twice with two really sweet girls... no initial chemistry, but I broke my norm and stuck it out hoping something would form... 6 months or so dating each exclusively. One was a software developer, one a clinical psychologist. Both perfect "on paper". Both ended with me having to tell them it wasn't fair for me to keep trying to see if it works and that they deserved someone who was deeply in love with them. Learned a good lesson... can't force love to happen.

Also, you're making some strong assumptions there... first, I prefer small boobs lol. Secondly, while I have to have some level of physical attraction, mental is far and away the greater deciding factor. Infact I've found most *very* attractive women suffer from never having to really develop much of a personality simply because they didn't have to... no shortage of suitors (err.. suckers) for them. They act like spoiled children who whine when the don't get there way because, well, they've always gotten their way lol. Finally, I don't really buy into "love at first sight". I think those stories are "hindsight is 20/20". Easy to say it was love at first site on your 50th anniversary. I'm also seasoned enough to know that true love, the real stuff, doesn't form overnight, nor does it disappear. I still love every woman I've ever said those words to, and will love them still on my death bed.


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> Thats a good point, I've not really continued the pursuit and moved a girl into "maybe she's got interesting friends" category in those cases lol.
> 
> Man, let me tell you, dating seems to hit a wall around 30... not just for me but many of my friends as well.
> 
> I've always joked with people that if I can get a woman to actually listen to me for an hour I can win her over. Theres a lot of truth in that, but a) its not conducive to the online thing since you're just part of a big list sorted by whatever metric she wants, and b) that first hour is by far the hardest one to get. I'm no stranger on how to attract women... its a supply/demand issue lol.


Yes, supply and demand, is the problem.  not only that many are taken but like someone stated above, the confident ones dont advertise with a*ses hangin out breastesses poppin haha ladies excuse my male lingo. and i cant speak of dating past 30. there is always lemaz class or however you spell it. haha. 

And try switching up you mentality, not being rude, but at one point i had to do this in my life. I used to be a yuppy, wanted to make the perfect husband, lover, mate etc. and girls would use and abuse me. So why not the other way around, why do you need an hour to win her over? why not that she needs an hour to win you over? if you believe you are the great catch than dont act other wise.


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## ken k (Apr 3, 2006)

hunterisgreat said:


> And its not just me and my experience... watching friends and family's marriages implode, looking at all the single mothers, etc... hard to even have much expectations when there are so few happy endings lol


statistically speaking theres a 50/50 chance, myself I would never get married again, not even for money, my GF is the same, we joke about it, if we were to get married, she would live at her house and I would live at mine, problem with marriage is, everyones in a hurry, they have sex first and then they are "in love" then they bring children into the equation, then after a couple years, everybody starts thinking to themselves, "what was I thinking", everybody changes when into a relationship, the more time in the more they change


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Diesel and Lace said:


> I am only responding because you asked for it... Just remember that. I am a very honest person and will keep my opinion to myself if the question is not raised but you raised it so strap on your big boy pants here it comes
> 
> *I live in my big boy pants lol. Bring it!*
> 
> ...


3 Characters since I typed my response above lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

ken k said:


> statistically speaking theres a 50/50 chance, myself I would never get married again, not even for money, my GF is the same, we joke about it, if we were to get married, she would live at her house and I would live at mine, problem with marriage is, everyones in a hurry, they have sex first and then they are "in love" then they bring children into the equation, then after a couple years, everybody starts thinking to themselves, "what was I thinking", everybody changes when into a relationship, the more time in the more they change


Thats the other scary thing... when you see a friend say he's getting married there is a chorus of guys married or divorced saying "Don't do it!!! Please don't do it!!!", and everyone, men and women, that divorce tell me they won't marry again.. including my mom lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Jaythethird said:


> Yes, supply and demand, is the problem.  not only that many are taken but like someone stated above, the confident ones dont advertise with a*ses hangin out breastesses poppin haha ladies excuse my male lingo. and i cant speak of dating past 30. there is always lemaz class or however you spell it. haha.
> 
> And try switching up you mentality, not being rude, but at one point i had to do this in my life. I used to be a yuppy, wanted to make the perfect husband, lover, mate etc. and girls would use and abuse me. So why not the other way around, why do you need an hour to win her over? why not that she needs an hour to win you over? if you believe you are the great catch than dont act other wise.


I'm in the deep south man... women don't do that here lol. Very oldschool even among the young ones lol. I'd wager I could tell you if a woman is from the south or not based on how she interacts with men lol


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## gagsd (Apr 24, 2003)

For Jaeger


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

gagsd said:


> For Jaeger


lol I do have this on my car (but with more dogs now lol)


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> And its not just me and my experience... watching friends and family's marriages implode, looking at all the single mothers, etc... hard to even have much expectations when there are so few happy endings lol


Hunter! You don't strike me as the type of man who'll compare himself to others. Don't predict your future based on others failures. Marriage isn't easy. Nothing in life is. 

Stop thinking of it as "hitting" on women. You're a business man. Think of it as making contacts. Just because you're talking to a woman at the grape fruit section of the grocery store doesn't mean you expect to bed her by night fall. You're just making contacts. Even married women have single friends. Don't feel as though you're wasting your efforts when you speak to a woman and find out she's married.


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

Cheyanna said:


> Unfortunately, people get their ideas about love and relationships from movies and TV. Not very realistic. You said you felt no initial attraction, why not see if it develops? Are you looking for love at first sight? Maybe she is not as thin as you like, or as smart as she appears, or has a big nose or small boobs, doesn't meant she is unworthy. Your initial attraction must be based on looks, because you know nothing else. That is very shallow and will reap you lots of shallow options.
> 
> I find it annoying that guys who are only a3 or a4 expect to get a woman who is above a six. If you don't want women to be only after your money, then don't be only after a pretty face. You reap what you sow.
> 
> ...


Yes it's very annoying! Use to drive me crazy in undergrad, I went to a party school for undergrad, and so many guys there would come from more rich-y type families from NJ, NY, PA....who to me were not attractive but yet they would think they could talk down to to me because I'm not a "10." I know a number of guys with just average $ too who can be that way and its just insane. 

I waitressed when I was 19 and one day I was working after being at the pool, so my hair was just hanging there partially wet partially dry, no make up at all, just kind of working my tan LOL when this table I have of 2 guys my age starts talking, plenty loud enough for me to hear, about girls and numbers. I actually hear the one ask the other what I am, and he says "maybe a 6." I gnored it and went on working, as I'm taking care of their table they strike up some small talk and after leaving the one guy who labeled me came back in and asked me if he could get my AOL IM name (back when it was popular) to talk to me. So I smiled and gave it to him. He did write me on it later on and somehow he saw another picture of me somewhere, don't remember how, and starts talking about how he didn't know such pretty girls came out of my (backwoods) high school, and then I just shut him down after that, he already blew his chance, especially for someone who I didn't even think was attractive at all....pppfftt call me a six!!! LOL

Mature I know! But I find a lot of guys older than 19-20 are STILL like that.


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> Thats the other scary thing... when you see a friend say he's getting married there is a chorus of guys married or divorced saying "Don't do it!!! Please don't do it!!!", and everyone, men and women, that divorce tell me they won't marry again.. including my mom lol


I will never do it again. I was with my X for 5.5 years in the model relationship before we got married, the day after I wedding it started to go downhill and 8 years later I could not do it anymore. 



hunterisgreat said:


> I'm in the deep south man... women don't do that here lol. Very oldschool even among the young ones lol. I'd wager I could tell you if a woman is from the south or not based on how she interacts with men lol


Pfft, well I have lived in TX, NC, MD, PA, OH, WV... Some of the southern women I have met would make anyone I know north of the mason dixon line blush by the way they dressed and acted. I dont think the south has anything to do with it, I think it is the way people are raised. Southern women can be the devil just as easily as northern women. Thats a pretty broad statement there my friend 

Well your dog is handsome, you are clearly intelligent, you have a good job, and plenty to offer, possibly its the places you are shopping for these women. Get out of your comfort zone, define what it is you REALLY want and go to places those type of women go to. Heck, go out to a rodeo and find a buckle bunny, hard working, smart, and usually have their Daddys money (the ones in the south do, us northern girls have to earn what we have) so they will not be after yours


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Lilie said:


> Hunter! You don't strike me as the type of man who'll compare himself to others. Don't predict your future based on others failures. Marriage isn't easy. Nothing in life is.
> 
> Stop thinking of it as "hitting" on women. You're a business man. Think of it as making contacts. Just because you're talking to a woman at the grape fruit section of the grocery store doesn't mean you expect to bed her by night fall. You're just making contacts. Even married women have single friends. Don't feel as though you're wasting your efforts when you speak to a woman and find out she's married.


No, not at all, I'm quite unique lol.. that being said, I can try as hard as I want to make a relationship work but if she isn't also I can't force it to. And of course I don't expect or even want things to move that fast... I love/need/want the physical as much or more than the next guy, but its the last concern on my list right now. I don't even bother sleeping with someone I'm not emotionally attached to... just has no value to me these days.

Oh I don't like, not talk to married women or something lol. Some of my closest friends are married women lol. A married woman spent saturday in my garage b/c I was helping her make jumps for her agility stuff lol. I do have a huge amount of married friends though and I have jokingly replied to "why are you single" questions from them with "b/c you're not introducing me to your friends" lol. I'm also not going to try and just "use" people as a path to their friends though... nor am I going to outright ask married friends to introduce me to their set of friends b/c I'd like to see if they are someone I want to date lol.


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## jae (Jul 17, 2012)

Lilie said:


> If you really think about it, how many times do you actually make direct eye contact with a female? Not someone you know, but a perfect stranger.
> 
> Direct eye contact, a slight smile and maybe a quiet "Hi" opens so many doors. It doesn't matter where you are, or who you're with. It's an open invite.


Well, the problem is, every one seems to be too worried to get somewhere. So most times, usually, at least what i notice - too busy with a phone, too busy with themselves, too busy smoking, too busy to look around, no eye contact, and if any words are exchanged it is curt, and someone's dear time has been stolen away. Or someone is likely to be the 'creep' at the bar who will not stop staring or talking.

i prefer the dogs to this.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

ugavet2012 said:


> Yes it's very annoying! Use to drive me crazy in undergrad, I went to a party school for undergrad, and so many guys there would come from more rich-y type families from NJ, NY, PA....who to me were not attractive but yet they would think they could talk down to to me because I'm not a "10." I know a number of guys with just average $ too who can be that way and its just insane.
> 
> I waitressed when I was 19 and one day I was working after being at the pool, so my hair was just hanging there partially wet partially dry, no make up at all, just kind of working my tan LOL when this table I have of 2 guys my age starts talking, plenty loud enough for me to hear, about girls and numbers. I actually hear the one ask the other what I am, and he says "maybe a 6." I gnored it and went on working, as I'm taking care of their table they strike up some small talk and after leaving the one guy who labeled me came back in and asked me if he could get my AOL IM name (back when it was popular) to talk to me. So I smiled and gave it to him. He did write me on it later on and somehow he saw another picture of me somewhere, don't remember how, and starts talking about how he didn't know such pretty girls came out of my (backwoods) high school, and then I just shut him down after that, he already blew his chance, especially for someone who I didn't even think was attractive at all....pppfftt call me a six!!! LOL
> 
> Mature I know! But I find a lot of guys older than 19-20 are STILL like that.


Most men under 40 are boys running around in mens clothing... same for women. No fault of their own. Its the values & culture we've created


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

I find this interesting. Most single women your age are beginning to panic because they hear their clocks ticking and haven't found 'Mr. Right' yet. (My daughter included!) 

And here is a man who by all standards would make a great 'find' (not living off the Government...loves dogs....) and he's complaining he can't find a woman. 

I wonder if ya'll (single men/women) expect a huge neon sign to hit you in the head when you finally locate 'the one'.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Diesel and Lace said:


> I will never do it again. I was with my X for 5.5 years in the model relationship before we got married, the day after I wedding it started to go downhill and 8 years later I could not do it anymore.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Lol the dog does get attention out in town... I don't even know where I'm shopping for them... eharmony? the local places my friends congregate at? I have no comfort zone... pretty much open to anything. I'm not religious so I draw a line at going to church with the wrong intentions... outside of that and clubs I'm wide open lol. I know what I want, I could articulate that clearly, its finding it that is the hard part. 

I don't know what a buckle bunny is lol. I'm not that worried about money.. I'm pretty financially "loose"... easy come, easy go as they say. I understand its easily won and easily lost so I don't put much value in it to be honest. The past few years have been by a wide margin the most financially successful for me and also the easiest money to earn... $20 waiting tables in college was infinitely more hard won. I *do* care when I see someone's interest in me is not *me*. If a woman was truly in love with me and vice versa I'd probably spend every dime on her anyway, its only when someone is actively trying to get me to do so that I get on the defense lol.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Lilie said:


> I find this interesting. Most single women your age are beginning to panic because they hear their clocks ticking and haven't found 'Mr. Right' yet. (My daughter included!)
> 
> And here is a man who by all standards would make a great 'find' (not living off the Government...loves dogs....) and he's complaining he can't find a woman.
> 
> I wonder if ya'll (single men/women) expect a huge neon sign to hit you in the head when you finally locate 'the one'.


errr... technically I own a engineering firm that contracts 100% of its work from the Dept of Defense so I do infact "live off the government" lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

jae said:


> someone is likely to be the 'creep' at the bar who will not stop staring or talking.


See... this guy at the bar, if the woman is interested he is "persistant" or "confident", but if she's not he is "a creep" or "a stalker" lol. 

And if she has a jealous-type boyfriend he is "in fist fight" and "going to jail" lol. When I've had guys hit on my gf's before and then expect me to get angry, I've always said "no worries, I'm complemented not angry, if I'm doing my job she's still leaving here with me anyway lol". Never understood guys like that.


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> I don't even know where I'm shopping for them... the local places my friends congregate at?
> 
> I don't know what a buckle bunny is lol. .


O boy, cracking up again. Are you sure your from the south? Or is that where the military just happened to drop you off along the way? Where are you *really* from.... Clearly you contract for the DOD so you spent some time in MD I would imagine or TX 

its clear the supply of acceptable candidates are not at the local places, being that you are from the south, you probably know everyone in the place anyway.. Go to the next town over... Take that single girl that is not interested in you and have her be your wing girl. Give her the definition of what your ideal candidate is and let her pick the girls out. Women have a sixth sense about one another and can spot a gold digger from 10 miles away. Have to be careful though, if she has any interest in you what so ever she could potentially sabotage you and your efforts. 

Definition of a Buckle Bunny varies from region to region I suppose but where I am from its nothing more than a girl who rides horses and rodeo's. In some area's its a girl who chases rodeo stars aka Groupies.. (not the kind I meant)


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> I don't know what a buckle bunny is lol. I'm not that worried about money.. I'm pretty financially "loose"... easy come, easy go as they say. I understand its easily won and easily lost so I don't put much value in it to be honest. The past few years have been by a wide margin the most financially successful for me and also the easiest money to earn... $20 waiting tables in college was infinitely more hard won. I *do* care when I see someone's interest in me is not *me*. If a woman was truly in love with me and vice versa I'd probably spend every dime on her anyway, its only when someone is actively trying to get me to do so that I get on the defense lol.


:wub::wub::wub: my fiancé is like this, he's also in IT.
You must be a. Looking in ALL the wrong places b. lying to us or not sharing about something c. Way way way too picky.
Do your friends wives not have any single friends even???? You live in a pretty big city (by my standards).


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> I don't know what a buckle bunny is lol.


Geez!!! Even I know what a buckle bunny is!!!


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

Diesel and Lace said:


> Definition of a Buckle Bunny varies from region to region I suppose but where I am from its nothing more than a girl who rides horses and rodeo's. In some area's its a girl who chases rodeo stars aka Groupies.. (not the kind I meant)


Where I'm from...a buckle bunny is a girl who finds a new 'ride' as often as she changes her jeans.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Diesel and Lace said:


> O boy, cracking up again. Are you sure your from the south? Or is that where the military just happened to drop you off along the way? Where are you *really* from.... Clearly you contract for the DOD so you spent some time in MD I would imagine or TX
> 
> its clear the supply of acceptable candidates are not at the local places, being that you are from the south, you probably know everyone in the place anyway.. Go to the next town over... Take that single girl that is not interested in you and have her be your wing girl. Give her the definition of what your ideal candidate is and let her pick the girls out. Women have a sixth sense about one another and can spot a gold digger from 10 miles away. Have to be careful though, if she has any interest in you what so ever she could potentially sabotage you and your efforts.
> 
> Definition of a Buckle Bunny varies from region to region I suppose but where I am from its nothing more than a girl who rides horses and rodeo's. In some area's its a girl who chases rodeo stars aka Groupies.. (not the kind I meant)


See my car above! I have a "SC Native" sticker. I do sometimes go to San Diego or San Antonio, or DC for short amounts of time (weeks at most) but, Born and raised here. I don't know if I can just go "no dice, not interested in dating me? Alright, come with me I need you to help me approach this girl over here lol" If she has any interest then its her fault for passing me up lol.

I'm sure rodeo's are more common in places where cattle are raised. SC was always more of a "rice, indigo, and cotton" agricultural area... can't ride any of those. I vaguely remember there being a rodeo here a few years ago, but its not a common occurrence. Charleston is a unique little town. We even have our own dialect of english


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

Lilie said:


> Where I'm from...a buckle bunny is a girl who finds a new 'ride' as often as she changes her jeans.


See different region different definition... Thats why I clarified, after I googled it I realized it *could* mean something completely different


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## elisabeth_00117 (May 17, 2009)

I'm 28 and single and am heavily involved in dog sports and the dog community. I do think that once guys find out that I have 2 German Shepherds with more planned they take a step back a bit. When they find out that I do bite work with my dogs, that makes them take a few more steps back. 

I actually had one guy I dated (and didn't tell I had GSD's) come to my house, and RUN from the doorway when my dogs came up to greet him. They didn't even bark at him!

I think being so involved in the dog world does put a damper on my dating life, but have come to realize I enjoy doing this more than going out and dating-dating... if the guy wants to come to schH or PSA training with me... or attend a lure coursing event... then I will know it's the right guy for me!


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Lilie said:


> Geez!!! Even I know what a buckle bunny is!!!


To be fair, you are in Texas, and I'm pretty sure Texas invented rodeos, and cattle lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Lilie said:


> Where I'm from...a buckle bunny is a girl who finds a new 'ride' as often as she changes her jeans.


Ok, thats the opposite of what I'm looking for lol


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

One of our training club members brought her new boyfriend to club. He was told from the get go if he didn't treat our club member right, there would be problems, and most of us feed raw, so there would be no evidence! He is still dating her. We didn't scare him off, which says something about his character!!


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

ugavet2012 said:


> :wub::wub::wub: my fiancé is like this, he's also in IT.
> You must be a. Looking in ALL the wrong places b. lying to us or not sharing about something c. Way way way too picky.
> Do your friends wives not have any single friends even???? You live in a pretty big city (by my standards).


Can't be looking in all the wrong places, b/c I'm willing and looking in all places lol

My married friends are all busy with their new children, and when we do get all together its just like, married couples with kids talking about what there kids learned, and me talking about my dogs b/c I have no other way to engage in "my children are wonderful" conversations lol

I don't think I'm that picky... be mentally and at least mildly physically attractive to me, don't ask me to buy you crap (let me decide how generous I will be), don't try and take the reigns and change every aspect of my life... thats about it.

I'm not lying about anything lol. I'll gladly tell you my faults that I know of or perceive if that would help it makes more sense lol


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> My married friends are all busy with their new children, and when we do get all together its just like, married couples with kids talking about what there kids learned, and me talking about my dogs b/c I have no other way to engage in "my children are wonderful" conversations lol


Then come out and ask them!!!! Have the husbands directly ask their wives, no big deal! You are being too passive! Or have a get together and ask everyone to bring their single friends!


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## vickip9 (Mar 28, 2012)

I'd like to chime in to the over 30 and still single crowd.  I am not a bar person either, so there goes that avenue of meeting anyone. Although, I think that might be more of a blessing than a hinderance.  And it's proving quite difficult at my age (31) to find someone who isn't already married & divorced 3 times, has 17 kids running around, or is just beyond off their rocker in the head. For the past 5 or so years, I have virtually given up and just assumed my fate of being single for the rest of my life while all of my friends marry and start families. Don't get me wrong, I do still occasionally look on the dating sites, but it is always the same story.... The guys are not quite all there, are more emotional than any girl I've ever met, or are more self-absorbed, egotistical, pretentious fools than Paris Hilton herself, or they are complete and utter duds with zero motivation, ambition, or poise. I think times have changed.. People have changed. It seems to be getting harder and harder to meet someone you're compatible with who also lives up to normal standards once you've crested that 30 mark.  Not to mention, I believe I read somewhere that Kansas City (where I live) is like THE WORST city for singles. Just my luck. :headbang: Perhaps we should start a group for those of us 30+ who are hopelessly still single.  A sort of support group if you may.


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

gagsd said:


> For Jaeger


As much as I oppose dogs wearing clothes... Just break down and get it... LOL your list of excuses will run out when your dog advertises for you... 

I am with the others I am missing something at this point a guy with a list of credentials such as you have listed does not last long, and its not the case of the nice guy finishes last because that is anything but true.


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## Carriesue (Aug 13, 2012)

Little OT but I feel you on the baby face thing... I literally still look exactly the same as I did when I graduated high school, combine that with only being 5'1 and I get mistaken for a 'kid' a lot. I just turned 31 and am not lacking in the curves department so I don't get it but I guess in my 40's I might be grateful.  Granted I am a women so I guess it could be seen as 'cute' by some.

To me you'd be tall and for me personally I wouldn't want someone much taller, makes things awkward in the bedroom so not sure why women are rejecting you for that. We're not all like that! Not sure where to tell you to look, me personally I don't do clubs or bars... I'd rather be hiking with my dog or out training. Surprised there's not more women at your club, seems like they for the most part dominate dog sports.

But hey I am from Georgia and have appreciation for grits and boiled peanuts though could you ever get past that my dog is half showline?? (Tongue in cheek)  :rofl:


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

vickip9 said:


> Perhaps we should start a group for those of us 30+ who are hopelessly still single.  A sort of support group if you may.


LOL I was thinking the same thing, like a must like dogs ages 30-40 that are not criminally insane dot com kind of thing.... 

HAHAHA


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

elisabeth_00117 said:


> I'm 28 and single and am heavily involved in dog sports and the dog community. I do think that once guys find out that I have 2 German Shepherds with more planned they take a step back a bit. When they find out that I do bite work with my dogs, that makes them take a few more steps back.
> 
> I actually had one guy I dated (and didn't tell I had GSD's) come to my house, and RUN from the doorway when my dogs came up to greet him. They didn't even bark at him!
> 
> I think being so involved in the dog world does put a damper on my dating life, but have come to realize I enjoy doing this more than going out and dating-dating... if the guy wants to come to schH or PSA training with me... or attend a lure coursing event... then I will know it's the right guy for me!


I have approached at least 3 women with 2 GSDs, at least part of it was the fact they had GSDs and I did too, but got shotdown outright by 2, and the third had a bf anyway lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

ugavet2012 said:


> Then come out and ask them!!!! Have the husbands directly ask their wives, no big deal! You are being too passive! Or have a get together and ask everyone to bring their single friends!


I have asked my best friend, and he's come through with a few here or there, but hasn't panned out yet.
I've done the latter but it never seems to work out. A friend organized a "speed dating" event last month that a few friends went to... I didn't go, but was told only a few girls showed up and they were all part of the circle of friends and so it was basically like any other friday night but at the different locale under the guise of "speed dating" lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

vickip9 said:


> I'd like to chime in to the over 30 and still single crowd.  I am not a bar person either, so there goes that avenue of meeting anyone. Although, I think that might be more of a blessing than a hinderance.  And it's proving quite difficult at my age (31) to find someone who isn't already married & divorced 3 times, has 17 kids running around, or is just beyond off their rocker in the head. For the past 5 or so years, I have virtually given up and just assumed my fate of being single for the rest of my life while all of my friends marry and start families. Don't get me wrong, I do still occasionally look on the dating sites, but it is always the same story.... The guys are not quite all there, are more emotional than any girl I've ever met, or are more self-absorbed, egotistical, pretentious fools than Paris Hilton herself, or they are complete and utter duds with zero motivation, ambition, or poise. I think times have changed.. People have changed. It seems to be getting harder and harder to meet someone you're compatible with who also lives up to normal standards once you've crested that 30 mark.  Not to mention, I believe I read somewhere that Kansas City (where I live) is like THE WORST city for singles. Just my luck. :headbang: Perhaps we should start a group for those of us 30+ who are hopelessly still single.  A sort of support group if you may.


And yet statistics show people are marrying less and marrying much later (into the 30's) so where the crap are these people lol


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Diesel and Lace said:


> As much as I oppose dogs wearing clothes... Just break down and get it... LOL your list of excuses will run out when your dog advertises for you...
> 
> I am with the others I am missing something at this point a guy with a list of credentials such as you have listed does not last long, and its not the case of the nice guy finishes last because that is anything but true.


Ask whatever you want to know about me. I'm not shy lol Its in my interest to know what the problem is unless you just say something like "oh, you just have a hideous, disgustingly visually offensive face" lol. Still would like to know if that was the case so atleast I could just say "well, I guess I'm screwed then".


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## GatorDog (Aug 17, 2011)

I think being female and heavily involved in dogs put some strain on my dating scene here, and Im in my early twenties. I just recently started dating someone involved in dog sport. He's first guy who participates in it too. But I've been training seriously for almost four years now, so maybe you just need to hang in there. 


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## vickip9 (Mar 28, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> And yet statistics show people are marrying less and marrying much later (into the 30's) so where the crap are these people lol



Heck if I know!! I can't seem to find them either!  But if you do by chance find the elusive reservoir of worthy individuals, please, please share the details!


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

GatorDog said:


> I think being female and heavily involved in dogs put some strain on my dating scene here, and Im in my early twenties. I just recently started dating someone involved in dog sport. He's first guy who participates in it too. But I've been training seriously for almost four years now, so maybe you just need to hang in there.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


lol I feel like I'll be hearing that when I'm 70 "just hang in there few another few months, you'll find the right one long enough to have a few dates at least before you kick it" lol


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

Yo hunter? Do you have a beard? I grew my beard out bout 6 inches, ladies started flockin like I through grain on the ground. Just trying to help  

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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Jaythethird said:


> Yo hunter? Do you have a beard? I grew my beard out bout 6 inches, ladies started flockin like I through grain on the ground. Just trying to help
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


ironically about 6 months ago I grew a beard for months. I shaved it the day I got 3 negative comments within 24 hours lol. If you look at any pics of me my beards not that thick anyway. I just keep a perpetual shadow so I don't get ID'ed as much. I look like a child when clean shaven. Women my age range aren't attracted to child-men lol


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## Diesel and Lace (Apr 15, 2013)

hunterisgreat said:


> Ask whatever you want to know about me. I'm not shy lol Its in my interest to know what the problem is unless you just say something like "oh, you just have a hideous, disgustingly visually offensive face" lol. Still would like to know if that was the case so atleast I could just say "well, I guess I'm screwed then".


:ROFL:

I don't know what to ask beyond what you have offered. On paper you are the perfect candidate, it has to be something... Whether you are just to shy to ask the right girls (meaning your self confidence is not as high as you portray and you set your own standards too low), or what there has to be something.... Have you tried asking your ex' that you didn't want to break up with what she would've changed (assuming your still on speaking terms)? Or what about the girls that never went on a second date and you wanted to? Start there...No idea what you look like but your dog is handsome, and they say dogs look like owners right? Confused myself... :crazy:


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

I'm not too shy. I always pursue what I want. It's a difficulty finding them and when I do it hasn't panned out.

There are tons of pics and vids of me on this forum lol


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

Do you have any female friends that are just friends? 

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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Jaythethird said:


> Do you have any female friends that are just friends?
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Yeah a bunch. Many start off having a crush on me lol


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

You just not interested in them? I guess if they don't have a crush on you anymore you could ask what's wrong with them. Why they don't see you like that anymore. 

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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Jaythethird said:


> You just not interested in them? I guess if they don't have a crush on you anymore you could ask what's wrong with them. Why they don't see you like that anymore.
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


They usually do I think still harbor some interest I think lol. Often disapproving of any woman that shows interest in me... "She's too x for you" or "she's too y, it will never work"


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> Ask whatever you want to know about me. I'm not shy lol Its in my interest to know what the problem is unless you just say something like "oh, you just have a hideous, disgustingly visually offensive face" lol. Still would like to know if that was the case so atleast I could just say "well, I guess I'm screwed then".


I am getting the impression you prefer girls to ask you and seek you out, instead of the other way around. I have NEVER asked a guy out, for one I am kind of shy, for two, its not just the south where girls think they should be pursued. I just always thought guys should ask me out. I thinks lots of girls are that way. 

The other thing is you mentioned you don't get "angry" if another guy hits on a girl you are with......not a deal breaker for me but I do want there to be SOME jealousy there and I feel like that's the norm. I dated a guy once who didn't give two craps when another guy tried to dance with me at a bar and it was a HUGE turn off. He claimed he liked me a lot but just said he wasn't a jealous type. I'm not talking bar fights here but have SOME sort of reaction good grief. 

Other than that when you're first talking make sure you aren't talking about yourself too much, my best first interactions were guys who just kept firing questions at me about me, if I wanted to know something about him I would ask. My first phone convo with one guy in HS I was very physically attracted to was basically him talking about his jacked up truck, and he wasn't even a *******. He maybe asked one question about me, it was awful and I was so disappointed. I think part of it was he was really nervous I later found out but the damage was done it was that bad.

Heck I've even had guys strike up convos, flirt with me and ask me out in Walmart LOL, I think that really takes some balls and I would have probably went out with them if I was single. One guy I passed once in an aisle about 10 minutes later hunted me back down to ask me out. If i was single, he had been even remotely my type physically and not there with his parents I would have said yes, I thought it was kind of sweet that it took him 10 minutes to think this through and works up the nerve to do it. I guess some people might think that was creepy but the way he phrased everything it really wasn't. He didn't come across as arrogant, just a guy who saw a girl he wanted to ask out.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

On first dates I only answer questions asked. Sounds stupid but what the guy did in the 40 year old virgin is actually effective. 

Don't prefer girls ask me out. If anything it's often a little odd. 

If my gf flirts back I will get jealous... But the problem would be with her, not him. That's like people who flip out at the third wheel in an infidelity situation. Usually they didn't even know. You should be angry only at the persons that has a commitment to you


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

hunterisgreat said:


> On first dates I only answer questions asked. Sounds stupid but what the guy did in the 40 year old virgin is actually effective.
> 
> Don't prefer girls ask me out. If anything it's often a little odd.
> 
> If my gf flirts back I will get jealous... But the problem would be with her, not him. That's like people who flip out at the third wheel in an infidelity situation. Usually they didn't even know. You should be angry only at the persons that has a commitment to you


I'm out of ideas. You're not hideous so that's not the issue either. 
Maybe you are on here too much?????


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Not hideous. So at least there is that lol

Also, I'm on here on my phone whilst being social at a restaurant lol


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## KatsMuse (Jun 5, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> Not hideous. So at least there is that lol
> 
> Also, I'm on here on my phone whilst being social at a restaurant lol


LOL! Quick tip: If you're socializing with a pretty gal, put DOWN the phone!! 
 Kat


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

vickip9 said:


> Perhaps we should start a group for those of us 30+ who are hopelessly still single.  A sort of support group if you may.


Ha ha! We can all make pacts that in 5 years if we still aren't married, we'll marry each other. We can all draw names. lol


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> Not hideous. So at least there is that lol
> 
> Also, I'm on here on my phone whilst being social at a restaurant lol


I think I'm starting to see what the problem is Hunter! 

Put your phone down and find a lady to buy a drink for or something. lol


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

blackshep said:


> I think I'm starting to see what the problem is Hunter!
> 
> Put your phone down and find a lady to buy a drink for or something. lol


Couldn't agree more! Go!! :thumbup:


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## ugavet2012 (Apr 15, 2010)

blackshep said:


> I think I'm starting to see what the problem is Hunter!
> 
> Put your phone down and find a lady to buy a drink for or something. lol


LOL no freaking kidding!!! Or talk to your friends about their single woman friends!!!


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> I think I'm starting to see what the problem is Hunter!
> 
> Put your phone down and find a lady to buy a drink for or something. lol


Presently sitting with a few guys so no worries lol


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

Shoot! Any of you ladies good looking? I'm down to draw names in five years, best thing for you, I'd barely be hitting my 30's. Still be a young stud lmao! 

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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

That reminds me hunt, I was considering you lucky, whenever I try to date women over 30 they say, "your still just a baby" lol. Picking up someone in 30-37 range for me is one of my more difficult tasks.  

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## Bear GSD (Apr 12, 2012)

Hunter, you seem like a successful, confident, thoughtful man. I'm a few (several) years older than you and at one point on my life I had always had a long term relationship. It seemed I went from one long term relationship after another. At one point I decided it was time to play it single and commit to just myself. It was after this decision (and some time) did I eventually meet the person that I am now married to.
I'm going to use shopping as an analogy. When I am looking for a certain blouse and I know what color, style, fit etc... I want it to be, when I go out and look for that blouse I never find it. It's only when I'm just out window shopping that I find that something that is unexpected and maybe not quite what I was looking for. 
I guess what I am trying to say is, maybe stop trying to look for it and maybe it will just come to you. I sincerely hope it does for you, I have always enjoyed your posts and I'm sure there is someone out there that will enjoy your company (and hopefully the dog's too)!


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

I have been off and on with the same guy for 6 years. I am 25 and he is 41. We have alot of the same interests but our personalities are very similar so we butt heads alot. We have lived together for about 3.5 years total (2.5 years together and then we broke up and lived apart for a couple of years and then we lived together for a year again) I have always been happiest when I live alone. He loves 3 out of 5 of my animals even though he has been there for all 5 of them. He is always trying to convince me to get rid of 2 of my cats (which will never happen, one I have had for 6 years and the other one is my soulmate) it's extremely obnoxious and hurtful to hear him try to convince me to give up the animals I love and it makes me question all the time whether I want to put up with hearing this forever (he thinks either we should have just 2 dogs and no cats or 1 dog and 2 cats, neither will ever happen because animals make,me happy and I don't just want 3 pets) I love my bf but sometimes I wish I could meet another animal loving man who shares my dream of becoming an animal hoarder. Haha just kidding, but it would be nice to find someone that won't tell me to give up my babies.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> Presently sitting with a few guys so no worries lol


Oh fer fuh.... :laugh:

What about going out to other dog sporting events? Meet other dog lovers, but a differnt crowd?


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

First, if you want kids, technically you don't have to be married or in a long term relationship. One night stands work for that. Second, why are you so desperate to be in a relationship? You are young and you don't have rotting eggs. Finally, it may not be in the cards for you. Some people are meant to be single. 


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Cheyanna said:


> First, if you want kids, technically you don't have to be married or in a long term relationship. One night stands work for that. Second, why are you so desperate to be in a relationship? You are young and you don't have rotting eggs. Finally, it may not be in the cards for you. Some people are meant to be single.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Lol knocking up someone on a one night stand is financial suicide, and a really crappy way to raise a kid. 

No one is meant to be single. That's a horrible thing to say lol


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Agree, most people aren't happy being single forever....so with that I'll jump in with what I hope is helpful thoughts.

After a lousy 10 years of marriage, divorce, then dating again, then giving up...which btw is when I met my sweetie...when I decided to just embrace life as it is and not worry about dating.

Things I have learned: 

From my divorce counselor - "The hardest thing you will ever do is have a truly intimate relationship with another human being, it will also be the most rewarding thing you ever do"

From the spiritual aspect - "Let go and Let God" in secular terms, don't look for someone to have kids with, first look for someone to 'be' with and then the rest will fall into place. IMVHO you're trying too hard (which is what your friends mean when they say, be patient) and while you may not see it that way, don't worry too much about improving yourself. Be mindful that _you_ are the common denominator but also remember you are who you are.

I was watching a show about the state a champion archer goes into as he makes the perfect shots. He actually enters a state of relaxation, not striving, not controlling, but a meditative state and then he releases his arrow, this can be tracked using scientific method and brain monitoring tech, so while it's 'new agey' it's verifiable and repeatable. There's a lesson in life in that.

Just enjoy life, keep happy within, don't think about 'needing' to be a dad.....and the rest will come.

btw- I know we aren't buddies here on the forum but I still wish you the best...good luck.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Gwenhwyfair said:


> Agree, most people aren't happy being single forever....so with that I'll jump in with what I hope is helpful thoughts.
> 
> After a lousy 10 years of marriage, divorce, then dating again, then giving up...which btw is when I met my sweetie...when I decided to just embrace life as it is and not worry about dating.
> 
> ...


I'm partly venting in this thread out of frustration... I actually get pinged by friends and family for not trying hard enough... I think thats mostly a result from me just simply not going out and dating just for the sake of it. I only really want to date if I'm *really* into the person. I know lots of people date someone just for the sake of dating, that just doesn't work for me.

I'm totally not looking for someone to "have my kids" as soon as possible, but it is one of the few deal breakers that just isn't flexible. When I'm dating someone who is on the fence about it, if we are having that talk I make it clear that having kids is something that is a strong desire of mine, and if they find that they decide for sure that they will not have kids then thats the time they need to let me know so we can part ways, no harm no foul. 

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not a depressed whiny unhappy mess over hear, just venting b/c this thread sorta went in that direction lol. I was originally just trying to get opinions on if having 3 dogs and being such a "dog person" was a big red flag for women or something.

Ironically, last night I think this girl was maybe trying to set me up with her sister? lol. She was asking what my type was and all this sort of questions and using her sister as a comparison like "So for example, is my sister too soft spoken for you or too outgoing or neither.." etc. Lol she's a friend and never talked to me about my dating life so it was a bit unexpected...


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

Bro it's not for her sister it's for her guaranteed. Women are sneaky  

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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

hunterisgreat said:


> Don't get me wrong here, I'm not a depressed whiny unhappy mess over hear, just venting b/c this thread sorta went in that direction lol. I was originally just trying to get opinions on if having 3 dogs and being such a "dog person" was a big red flag for women or something.


Not for most dog people. Well, as long as both sets of dogs get along decently enough. Not *all* dog people are willing to do a crate/rotate system for the life of the dogs or rehome.

People who are scared or dislike dogs? Yeah, I could see it being a cautious point. If you absolutely hate snakes would you be comfortable living in a house with 3 of them?


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

I understand, that's why I tried to choose my words carefully, like saying "keep happy within" you see I was acknowledging that is your current state.

Sounded like you've been dating a bit, asking ladies out, being asked out as I read through your stories? 

I didn't think nor meant to imply you wanted someone to have kids as soon as possible but it's something that you have stressed as important. *Most* women I have known through my life want to be moms, especially if the meet and marry the right man. 

So I understand it's important but even though you don't realize it you maybe putting this sort of 'energy' out that makes the women feel secondary. I didn't like that when I was younger, it was a huge turn off if I sensed that was a strong driver he had in the background. Now I know you probably don't bring it up on the first date or two or even three, you just said 'the talk', but realize that we human beings have evolved to pick up on subtle signals like that. What can happen is this attracts a sort of 'quid pro quo' vibe you mentioned where the women who would be attracted to that sort of 'energy' will be the types you described, they want kids to have an easy life with a guy who has the financials to provide it. Not saying you are wrong in wanting kids but maybe that strong desire is what is tripping you up on finding the right partner...life is funny that way sometimes, you see?

I think you're maybe a bit 'edgier' then you realize. I'm not saying that to be unkind, you did ask for the perceptions of others and I offer that as food for thought.

I really think you need to just get a little more 'zen' going in your life and it'll all work out. You strike me as being intelligent, quick, your observant (traits that have helped you be successful in business) but I just get this feeling you need just have a 'softer' eye in the relationship department, hopefully that makes some sense!

I don't know you except for this forum, so I can only go by what I get from this forum...but still I hope some of these food for thought items I've shared help you in some way. It's *all* meant with positivity. 

I don't think the dogs would be a turn off for the right gal, btw!! 

...and yeah, sounds like you missed the hints last night, be prepared for the unexpected grasshoppa! LOL!  



hunterisgreat said:


> I'm partly venting in this thread out of frustration... I actually get pinged by friends and family for not trying hard enough... I think thats mostly a result from me just simply not going out and dating just for the sake of it. I only really want to date if I'm *really* into the person. I know lots of people date someone just for the sake of dating, that just doesn't work for me.
> 
> I'm totally not looking for someone to "have my kids" as soon as possible, but it is one of the few deal breakers that just isn't flexible. When I'm dating someone who is on the fence about it, if we are having that talk I make it clear that having kids is something that is a strong desire of mine, and if they find that they decide for sure that they will not have kids then thats the time they need to let me know so we can part ways, no harm no foul.
> 
> ...


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Jaythethird said:


> Bro it's not for her sister it's for her guaranteed. Women are sneaky
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Possibly, but she's off limits... friends recent ex lol I don't do that sort of thing


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Gwenhwyfair said:


> I understand, that's why I tried to choose my words carefully, like saying "keep happy within" you see I was acknowledging that is your current state.
> 
> Sounded like you've been dating a bit, asking ladies out, being asked out as I read through your stories?
> 
> ...


Lol don't disagree, but what do you mean exactly by "edgy" lol


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

Hunter, I was not trying to be cruel, when I said some people are meant to be single. I speak from experience. I gave up trying to find Mr. Right only because my lists of musts is incredibly crazy. But I am not hopelessly single or sad or depressed. I am actually happy to be single. My time is mine. My money is mine. The rules are mine. I enjoy the freedom. When I thought about what I wanted out of a man, I want someone to carry my luggage when we travel, be a handyman around the house and a tinkerer around the cars. I realized my list sounded more like a servant and not a partner. Have you actually identified what you are looking for? I don't mean in your head, but out of your mouth to others, or fingers to others. Maybe the list you share can help people identify matches.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

Cheyanna said:


> Hunter, I was not trying to be cruel, when I said some people are meant to be single. I speak from experience. I gave up trying to find Mr. Right only because my lists of musts is incredibly crazy. But I am not hopelessly single or sad or depressed. I am actually happy to be single. My time is mine. My money is mine. The rules are mine. I enjoy the freedom. When I thought about what I wanted out of a man, I want someone to carry my luggage when we travel, be a handyman around the house and a tinkerer around the cars. I realized my list sounded more like a servant and not a partner. Have you actually identified what you are looking for? I don't mean in your head, but out of your mouth to others, or fingers to others. Maybe the list you share can help people identify matches.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Yeah I've identified and communicated to some folks

Curious, what's your list? Good on you that you realized what you wanted wasn't fair to the other person. Unfortunately many people approach relationships with a similar mindset but don't realize it and feel its perfectly normal/fair to expect a virtual slave without offering anything in return.


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## Chris Wild (Dec 14, 2001)

I recently saw a commercial for a farmer version of e-harmony/match maker. According to those commercials it's hard for folks living in the boonies and spending their time caring for their critters to find others too. Maybe they'd be willing to make a subgroup for "crazy dog people" match making.


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Umm like how you responded to my words....I know you didn't get angry or anything like that but you very quick and clear in defining precisely what you mean, setting boundaries of a more protective nature? 

You're trying to avoid making mistakes with relationships, you're watchful and smart, thinking ahead while still trying to be open, that's a hard balance to achieve, control AND openess....yes? no? maybe?




hunterisgreat said:


> Lol don't disagree, but what do you mean exactly by "edgy" lol


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## Cheyanna (Aug 18, 2012)

He has to love Jesus more than me and then a bunch of no: drug, smoking, alcohol, gambling, porn, spending more time getting ready than me, being unemployed, video games. Most would say no fun.


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Cheyanna, 

Your response reminds me of a line I heard on the old MASH show of all places, when one of the characters was hoping to find a mate....

"We are all looking for custom fits in an off the rack world" 





Cheyanna said:


> Hunter, I was not trying to be cruel, when I said some people are meant to be single. I speak from experience. I gave up trying to find Mr. Right only because my lists of musts is incredibly crazy. But I am not hopelessly single or sad or depressed. I am actually happy to be single. My time is mine. My money is mine. The rules are mine. I enjoy the freedom. When I thought about what I wanted out of a man, I want someone to carry my luggage when we travel, be a handyman around the house and a tinkerer around the cars. I realized my list sounded more like a servant and not a partner. Have you actually identified what you are looking for? I don't mean in your head, but out of your mouth to others, or fingers to others. Maybe the list you share can help people identify matches.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

Those commercials are funny and corny....but if I were younger and single I'd probably join that site too!!



Chris Wild said:


> I recently saw a commercial for a farmer version of e-harmony/match maker. According to those commercials it's hard for folks living in the boonies and spending their time caring for their critters to find others too. Maybe they'd be willing to make a subgroup for "crazy dog people" match making.


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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

Cheyanna said:


> Hunter, I was not trying to be cruel, when I said some people are meant to be single. I speak from experience. I gave up trying to find Mr. Right only because my lists of musts is incredibly crazy. But I am not hopelessly single or sad or depressed. I am actually happy to be single. My time is mine. My money is mine. The rules are mine. I enjoy the freedom. When I thought about what I wanted out of a man, I want someone to carry my luggage when we travel, be a handyman around the house and a tinkerer around the cars. I realized my list sounded more like a servant and not a partner. Have you actually identified what you are looking for? I don't mean in your head, but out of your mouth to others, or fingers to others. Maybe the list you share can help people identify matches.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I typed up something very similar and decided to go without posting it. I am equally happy single or in a relationship. I do like being around my friends tho, I get lonely without them. I have a habit of "hermiting up" as my friends call it. It's usually because I have found a new book series or a new hobby and I'm engrossed in that. My dad was the same way, we could spend days in the same house and never speak to one another.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

brembo said:


> I typed up something very similar and decided to go without posting it. I am equally happy single or in a relationship. I do like being around my friends tho, I get lonely without them. I have a habit of "hermiting up" as my friends call it. It's usually because I have found a new book series or a new hobby and I'm engrossed in that. My dad was the same way, we could spend days in the same house and never speak to one another.


I'm happy single... thats why I only date someone that I'm really into... but, as the thread title suggests I noticed "huh... I've been single for the entirety of my 'dog training career' so far..." I hope they aren't related b/c I'm not going to stop training. And just like you, my friends and social circle keep me from being overly lonely, but as they marry and no longer have nearly the time to hang out its more and more time alone.


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## GatorDog (Aug 17, 2011)

hunterisgreat said:


> I'm happy single... thats why I only date someone that I'm really into... but, as the thread title suggests I noticed "huh... I've been single for the entirety of my 'dog training career' so far..." I hope they aren't related b/c I'm not going to stop training. And just like you, my friends and social circle keep me from being overly lonely, but as they marry and no longer have nearly the time to hang out its more and more time alone.


I met my current guy at the last dog event that I went to. I would make some more dog trips for shows and keep my eyes open if I were you


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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

hunterisgreat said:


> I'm happy single... thats why I only date someone that I'm really into... but, as the thread title suggests I noticed "huh... I've been single for the entirety of my 'dog training career' so far..." I hope they aren't related b/c I'm not going to stop training. And just like you, my friends and social circle keep me from being overly lonely, but as they marry and no longer have nearly the time to hang out its more and more time alone.


Do what I do(did, Banjo is gone now), take Hunter to see them. Banjo was welcome at all my friends places. I still have Peppy(Mal) and when I make plans to go visit friends always mention to bring her along. One, because they know I'm a worry-wart when she is home alone. Two, because she is a highly trained ex-police dog that is of no inconvenience to anyone. You train, so Hunter is going to be a piece of cake to have around. Granted I'm older than you and my friends are ALL married with kids. I have had time to pare away the chaff and concentrate on true friends that take me as I am, and that means a dog in tow. I am the crazy dog guy. I'm fine with that. Supermodel that wants to spend huge sums of money on me and is double jointed and studied by universities due to insane sex drive but no likely my dog? She might as well be invisible, ain't got time for that kinda nonsense.


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

brembo said:


> Do what I do(did, Banjo is gone now), take Hunter to see them. Banjo was welcome at all my friends places. I still have Peppy(Mal) and when I make plans to go visit friends always mention to bring her along. One, because they know I'm a worry-wart when she is home alone. Two, because she is a highly trained ex-police dog that is of no inconvenience to anyone. You train, so Hunter is going to be a piece of cake to have around. Granted I'm older than you and my friends are ALL married with kids. I have had time to pare away the chaff and concentrate on true friends that take me as I am, and that means a dog in tow. I am the crazy dog guy. I'm fine with that. Supermodel that wants to spend huge sums of money on me and is double jointed and studied by universities due to insane sex drive but no likely my dog? She might as well be invisible, ain't got time for that kinda nonsense.


I'm Hunter lol... you mean take Jäger? (German for "Hunter", so that wasn't totally inaccurate lol)


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

No I think jager was supposed to read that post. Wingman talk  

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## brembo (Jun 30, 2009)

Much funnier to read if you take it as me speaking to your dog. Which I wasn't.


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

I Def giggled. Ha. Like bongo trying to find roger a mate

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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Cheyanna, you might be happy being single, but obviously Hunter isn't. I don't mean he's miserable being single, but he obviously doesn't want to be single forever.

And saying a one night stand is all that's required to have kids...wow, I find that offensive. I would hope people put a bit more planning into having a family. I'm pretty sure he's hoping to have a family and be around to raise the children, not knock some loose girl up and be on his merry way.

Hunter I know you only want to date someone you're really into, but maybe you need a few dates to figure out if you're into them or not? Sometimes you need to get people out one on one.

I, for example, tend to be more of a listener when in a bigger group. I find larger groups of people to be a bit intimidating, so I think it's easy to pass people like me over, because we don't necessarily stand out in a crowd. Get what I'm saying?

Hey, on Animal Planet last night I saw a lady who started this company and thought of you! Leashes and Lovers is Where Dog Lovers Meet - an online social community  Sounds corny, but apparently it's not just for match making, but just meeting up with other dog owners for events and outings like kayaking with your dogs and all sorts of stuff. You never know...


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## hunterisgreat (Jan 30, 2011)

blackshep said:


> Cheyanna, you might be happy being single, but obviously Hunter isn't. I don't mean he's miserable being single, but he obviously doesn't want to be single forever.
> 
> And saying a one night stand is all that's required to have kids...wow, I find that offensive. I would hope people put a bit more planning into having a family. I'm pretty sure he's hoping to have a family and be around to raise the children, not knock some loose girl up and be on his merry way.
> 
> ...


Yeah I just meant I won't just keep dating someone that I'm just lukewarm about. I know lots of folks who are dating someone but acknowledge they aren't "the one" or that it would never be a serious thing which makes me ask "then why bother?". I don't make a decision upon the first conversation or something... I'll give it a few dates, but it doesn't take long to know or not.

Unfortunately I was just kicking around the idea of a "pet friendly match.com" but I'm not surprised its already been done lol (the entrepreneur in me is always searching for "the next big thing").

I'm sure there are probably many single, compatible, interested women I pass by on a daily basis, but I certainly can't hit on every woman I come across (some men do that I guess or atleast try... but I fall in the "precision targeting" category rather than the "shotgun" approach).

So, theoretically if we were in the same public place how would I know if you were even open to being approached? I'll admit that many guys have an unnatural fear of approaching women cold as though they would slap them for trying to talk to them... the worst that can happen is you just get rejected... but it is far easier if theres at least a hint that she is interested in talking to you


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## Jaythethird (Jul 1, 2013)

If a woman is in public she is open to being approached, Imo. Whether it be sexual, mental, or emotional is the name of the game. Deep down we are all as ravenous as the pets we own or the wild animals that live in our backyard. I try to talk to every girl I see, whether ringed up or not, practice makes perfect, timing is everything and the plain and simple idea is, you never know till you know ya know? Talking even to married women you might find a trait that you like that you didn't think you like before. Not saying to try and steal someone's wife bit obviously she has something that another male found deemable of trying to spend the rest of his life with. 

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## Liesje (Mar 4, 2007)

hunterisgreat said:


> Started training both mine in Jan 2011... started really getting into it at some point, and started doing helperwork last year... Now I'm training other dogs many times a week. I was just thinking... since I started down the dog training path, I've been single. As the years tick by and another B-Day is rolling up fast (coupled with a few sarcastic comments here or there about the "dog thing") I'm wondering if these are related. Thoughts? All the "dog people" know who are in functional relationships have equally "dog-people" sig others...


Actually my husband has almost nill to do with my dogs. In fact I refer to them as "my" dogs and he refers to them as "your"/"her" dogs. He doesn't NOT like them, but he doesn't do anything with them unless I ask. Dogs are MY thing. He plays about half a dozen different sports at any given time and I have little to no interest in his sports or watching him train and play, so it's mutual. He will very occasionally come to a training or event but only when its convenient for him (absolutely nothing else going on) or is more of a social thing for him. Sometimes I ask him to come to something really important (like a breed survey far away) but then have to go to an MLB game or something with him later on. Likewise, I only go to his softball games when my friend is going along to watch her husband.

Not only this, but I got into dogs after I met him. The first dog I've ever owned was a working line GSD I got a year after we were married (so we'd already been together for several years).

You don't have to find someone that has any interest in dogs as long as they respect YOUR interest in dogs and you respect each others' time commitments. For us that is easy. I train with several clubs several nights a week (Monday is agility, Tuesday flyball, Thursday nosework, weekends are trials and tournaments, Sunday is Schutzhund and sometimes more agility) and he plays softball twice a week right now, soccer twice, and during the year he also coaches in the evenings.


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

Hunter, get another puppy, that is always a way to attract the ladies! Puppy raise for different breeders in your area, that way you always have one to walk.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

For some couples it works that they are both into the same thing. But, I find that a relationship works really well when you don't suck the life out of each other. Meaning he has his thing and she has her thing. They are still individuals. 

My husband enjoys the dogs and horses. But he doesn't train them (or ride any longer). He'll help me out when needed, he is respectful of the animals needs as well. 

My husband has only been to two horse shows with me. I respect the fact that he'd rather see a proctologist than sit all day at the show grounds watching horses go around in a circle. But, if I said I needed for him to come, he'd be there (hence, the two he went to). I've been showing for years...and years...

He has his thing that he does too. He loves to hunt. I've spent all my life keeping my animals on their feet, I don't hunt. I've trained a dog to blood track. So I've got a foot in his world and mine. He's thrilled....I've got another dog. (See how clever I am???)

My point is don't waste your time looking for someone just like you. You can find a woman who likes dogs, but totally digs you. She'll respect your needs as you respect hers.


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## Gwenhwyfair (Jul 27, 2010)

:thumbup:

That's the way it is with my guy too. He'll help if needed or asked, likes dogs a lot and has his little Aussie but he's not that into training or sport with them. Doesn't mind me training and being more involved with the dogs. We support those things which make us happy as individuals. 



Lilie said:


> For some couples it works that they are both into the same thing. But, I find that a relationship works really well when you don't suck the life out of each other. Meaning he has his thing and she has her thing. They are still individuals.
> 
> My husband enjoys the dogs and horses. But he doesn't train them (or ride any longer). He'll help me out when needed, he is respectful of the animals needs as well.
> 
> ...


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

you can meet the future significant other at anytime any place.
it'll probably happen when you're not looking consciously.


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## blackshep (Aug 3, 2012)

Find a reason to talk to them Hunter! If they are walking a dog, ask them about their dog, tell them it's cute (even if it's not lol) We all know how we like to talk about our dogs! If someone asks me about my dog or my horses I will talk thier ears off! Or find something nice to say to them to break the ice. Compliment their nice outfit, hold a door, that type of thing. 

While I agree it's nice to have your own hobby, perhaps find something the same but different. I have horses and I can tell you, if a guy isn't into them it can put a real strain on a relationship. They consume huge amounts of time, money and energy. 

I'd look for someone who's also active with dogs, but maybe a different sport if you want some distance? But there is a married couple at our schutzhund group and they are awesome partners and trainers. And two married couples on my flyball team. So I do think it can work, as long as you have the same ideals and training styles. Gives you something to do together besides sit on the couch watching TV or catching up over dinner.


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