# My GSD is dying...what to do?



## WendiGSD

Wow, talk about timing! I have been putting off posting this, but came across this new topic, and have finally gotten the guts to do it.

On the 25th of June my beloved GSD Maggie went in to the vet have a tooth removed. I was in the shower when my 7 year old son came in and said "Maggie is really sick". My husband was on the phone with the vet. My dog has cancer. She has a tumor on her lower left jaw. The jaw bone is worn away so bad the vet was able to pull teeth out with her fingers. At this point she was given a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

On the 28th the results of the biopsy came back. The vet told me they believe it is either malignant oral melanoma, or fibrosarcoma (sp?). The area that is affected is so large surgery is out of the question. Chemo/radiation is a possiblity, but realistically it won't do much. The only thing we can do at this point is to keep her comfortable. The infection she has makes her smell like death. "Like a decaying body", as my husband put it (he's a cop, so truly does know what it smells like). She's been on antibiotics. Hopefully they can keep the infection under control for awhlie.

So, now I sit and wait. I apologize to Maggie everytime I see her. I sit here witih a black cloud hanging over me because I know my dog is dying a horrible death, and all I can do is wait. Wait for some sort of sign that it is time for her to go to the bridge. She sleeps alot. She is still eating. She still wags her tail while I am preparing her food, God bless her sweet soul. She still "cleans up" under my toddlers high chair. Food is her favorite thing, and she still enjoys it.

The vet mentioned that it will not be a case of us waking up in the morning to find that she has passed. Most likely it will be a matter of us bringing her in the be euthanized. I have decided that no matter what, I will be the one in the room with her. She has given me 11 years of her life, I owe it to her. I need to be there when she passes. It makes me sick to think about it. It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

When do I know it's time? What can I expect when I bring her to the vet for that last time? I want her cremated. How exactly does that work? 

Any insight/advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!! I am having a very hard time dealing with this. I am also very sorry if I sound overly dramatic. I haven't posted here much, but needed to vent somehow.

Thanks so much!!!
~Wendy


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## shilohsmom

Oh Wendy, I'm so very sorry to know of what you must be going thru. Others will be able to help you more than I, but I just wanted to say your not alone and my heart goes out to you and your lovely dog.


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## onyx'girl

Wendy, I am sorry to hear about your girl. You can make a photo tribute of Maggie and post it. It is bittersweet to see the seniors and the life they have led. But you can remember all the great things she went thru with you in the 11 years you had her. It may make it easier to say goodbye. I feel that if the dog has lost their dignity, and is in pain then it is time. I am going to go thru this soon as well, with a 14 yr border/golden mix Clover and it will be so hard, but she has been happy and given us much happiness in return. Do you have anyone that can go with you for support when the time comes? I am lucky, that my DH will be there for us. Just let her know in the time you have left, how much she is loved, and you will know when it is time.







Your vet will be able to help you with the cremation And some vets that have been w/ your dog their whole life will accomodate you as much as possible.


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## flyinghayden

I know exactly what you are going through. I have a 9 year lab/hound named Jazzabell, who is also dying of spleen and liver cancer. It is hard because I have her on meds that keep her eating, and sleeping in a normal way, yet in the back of my mind, I know that she has a timebomb ticking away in her. When she turns over for a belly rub, I feel this mass where her liver is, and her stomach feels big and weird. While there is a chance she will pass on in the night, I feel that I too will be making that final trip to the vet. So sorry, I wish I knew what to say.


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## Skye'sMom

So that you will know what will happen, talk to your vet now about how the euthanasia will be done. Make sure you are comfortable with all steps.

Some vets will come to your home for this. If you go the the clinic, ask if you can be scheduled at a time it is usually quiet. If you are like me, you may want time alone with her afterward - it is hard to leave them, even though you know they have moved into your heart.

It sounds like Maggie is still having some joys in her life. When the time comes she is not you will know it is time.

Take some pictures now. You will cherish them.

I am so sorry Maggie and her family are going through this. You are in a good place here. We care. Tell us all you want about Maggie and her place in your life.

I will be thinking of you - take care.


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## kshort

Wendy,
You are not being overly dramatic at all. It's a gut wrenching, heartbreaking thing to go through. Thinking about making that decision will rip you apart. I know because I was there just 10 weeks ago with my boy. But I can promise you that one of these days you will look into Maggie's eyes and she will tell you that it's time. Try to enjoy every single day you have with her. She just might surprise you. My sister's dog was diagnosed with cancer of the spleen nearly two years ago (he was 11). He passed in his sleep last Sunday at 13+.

Our vet came to the house and has for all of our animals. I know it's not always possible, but if there's a way, I believe it's easiest on the dog as they are in a safe and comfortable environment. Insist that the vet sedate first. Do not take "no" for an answer. The sedation puts them into a very deep sleep and they are not cognizant of what is going on. When you're ready, they can give the final shot which stops the heart. It is painless to them and they go to sleep within seconds.

My vet made a plaster pawprint for me. I can't tell you how much that meant. I know not all vets do it, so it's something you might want to do now while Maggie is doing fairly well -- kind of like doing a kid's handprint! Some people like to clip fur and keep it. 

It's very hard for some people to stay with their companion, but as painful as it is, I could never let them pass without holding them and talking with them as they go to sleep.

Your vet can arrange for the cremation. They give you the option of purchasing a container or you can buy or make your own. All of my animals are cremated and here with me. It gives me great comfort to know that they're close.

I am so sorry you are faced with this and I, and many others here, know exactly what you're going through. You'll find many compassionate people on this forum and all you have to do is post and you'll find a lot of support. Let us know how things are going and give Maggie girl a big hug from me. 

*For all the joy you've given me,
for the glory days gone by 
My best and final gift, My Love, 
I grant you wings to fly *
-- Author Unknown


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## Shugmort

Wendy, so sorry for you and Maggie. I too went through this only about 10 weeks ago, and yes you'll know when the time comes. The pain and frustration will become clear and you'll see it in Maggie's eyes. My vet brings you to a special room and allows you some final time together. As difficult as it is, I could not let my boy go alone, I stayed with him and held and talked to him until it was over. If you can, stay with her as she crosses the bridge, you will get some comfort knowing she's at peace. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## pupresq

The vet clinic will take care of the cremation and the euthanasia should be a quick and peaceful process. I used to work for a mobile vet and we often went to people's homes to euthanize dying animals, after everything I see at the shelter, seeing these much loved and much mourned pets was terribly sad but also terribly beautiful. In the case of the two dogs I've had euthanized we actually went to the clinic but both were dogs who enjoyed an outing and I think they liked the attention. If either of them had been fearful or shy dogs, I definitely would have found some way for someone to come to our home. 

In my Golden's case (end stage osteosarcoma) I took her through McDonald's first, she got a burger and chocolate chip cookies and I sat with her in her wagon (she couldn't walk at that point) and fed her pieces while we waited. I gave her a big bite of cookie when they put in the IV catheter and I don't think she ever noticed it, she was too busy licking her chops, which made me happy. 

This might sound morbid, but I have a blanket that my Husky was lying on when she died and since then, I've used it to cushion the two other dogs we've had euthanized. It still gets laundered and everything so it's not like it smells like them but it's old and soft gives me something tangible that was close to them that I can hold. 

Like other posters, we've kept all their ashes. I have their collars with each box. My BIL made a beautiful shadow box with his deceased dog's picture and collar which hangs over his desk. I thought that was a nice idea. 

As far as knowing when is the right time, I found this the most difficult part of the entire process. People said I would "just know" but I found that I didn't. A good day would be followed by a bad one but then another good one. It wasn't clear to me. Even when Charlotte couldn't walk well on her own, we held her in a sling to go potty and took her for long rambles in her wagon which she seemed to enjoy. Her leg had been removed so she didn't seem to be in pain. For us the "moment" came the day I had to leave the house for 2 hours and came back to find that she'd gone poop on the floor but clearly tried to drag herself to the door to go out. I didn't care a thing about soiling the house but I realized how hard that was on her, when she "knew" she wasn't supposed to. I realized that the bad moments were starting to outnumber the good ones and she was slipping fast. I'm glad we didn't wait until she couldn't enjoy her cookies and burger. It felt like the right time. 

In our Rottie's case it came when he seemed to be in pain and wasn't able to enjoy the things he used to. I felt like it was the right time but I worried a lot that I'd waited to long. 

I think making that decision and deciding on the moment is probably the hardest decision we can make as dog owners. 

But before that sad day, it's wonderful to spend time with them, to think of things they'll enjoy and let them break the rules they never got too before









Lots of pictures of her and of you with her. Paw prints and paw casts are also nice mementoes as others have mentioned. It seems sad and morbid sometimes when you're doing it but they're priceless later, and if you have other pets, you can do everybody and create display. It doesn't have to be about losing her it can be about celebrating the time you have now.


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## shadow mum

Wendy, I am so sorry that you are going through this. My boy Smoke died in February rather suddenly at home, so I didn't have to make the decision about the final vet trip. We had known he wasn't feeling well, and had a vet appointment on the Saturday. I got a telephone call at work of the Friday night to say that he'd gone to the bridge.

My vet was great though. We took Smoke to the office, and they arranged the cremation, took a cast of his pawprint etc. It is now in my bedroom with a photo and his collar.

Don't worry, Maggie will tell you when it's time...and will thank you for not letting her suffer. You've given her 11 years, and I'm sure they've been happy ones.

My thoughts are with you.


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## WendiGSD

First of all, thanks so much for the replies. It truly means so much to me!! I am so sorry to everyone that has lost a pet. Obviously dogs don't live forever. As Maggie has gotten older I knew the day would come. I guess I had hoped that when her time came it would be quick and painless.

I was completely blind-sided by this. I had taken her into the vet the week before because I knew something was wrong. Like I said, she smelled really bad. She also had a lump under her eye. I was told it most likely was and infected/impacted tooth that had to be removed. So, when I dropped her off on the 25th I figured the tooth would be removed, and all would be well.

My husband has been great through all of this. I trust that he will help me decide when it's time. He isn't quite as emotionally attached to Maggie, and will be able to think with his head, and not is heart if you know what I mean.

Maggie is my sweetheart. She sleeps next to my side of the bed every night. When I went to Florida two years ago with the kids she laid by the front door for the majority of the week. She has been so loyal to me. She was a royal PITA as a puppy, but turned out to be a wonderful dog. She has a few "quirks". She hates having her picture taken. She will literally run and hide if I bring the camera out. It's funny because years ago I took so many pictures of her my husband called her "The Princess Diana" of the dog world. Always being photographed







I guess Maggie just got sick of it.

She looks so sad. I look into her eyes and I can tell something is different. It may be my imagination considering a month or so ago I had no clue. I don't know. Every once in awhile I think the vet may be wrong on the time frame. I am clueless at this point. Heck, I don't even know exactly what type of cancer she has for sure. The hardest part is being able to tell if she is in pain or not. 

I'll just take it a day at a time. I have been mixing some yummy people food into her dog food. My husband told me to spoil her like crazy, so that's exactly what I plan on doing.

Sorry i'm rambling. Being able to write my feelings out has helped, as well as reading all of your reponses.

Time to get my human kids in bed...

Thanks so much!!!


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN

Hi Wendy-

I just posted a bunch of links with some information that might be helpful to you, in addition to all the input you are getting from real people here. Also in the health section are some sticky posts about cancer. 

Please take care.


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## Guest

Wendy, my heart goes out to you. I've said goodbye six times now to beloved GSDs. I just typed up a big long answer to you and deleted it. Why? I keep coming up with answers too tied up in my own loss. So I will be brief. You want to know when it will be time? You'll know. You can be certain of that. Nobody will need to tell you. Your link with your girl will ensure it. 

One final thing I want to share with you. It has brought me solace over the years. Our dogs give us so much and their love and devotion is so huge it seems priceless. But there is a price. The price is in saying goodbye as we do every decade or so more or less. I have found and I suspect you will as well that that's a pretty good deal even so. I have still come out far, far ahead. I believe you have too.


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## TNGSD

Our last GSD had kidney failure. One day I noticed he was losing weight so I made him an appointment for the following week for a regular checkup.... the next day I called the vet up and told him I could tell something was wrong and asked to bring him in that day. We were shocked to find out it was his kidneys. We tried to agressively treat him with iv fluids, meds and diet change but he went down hill quickly. There are a few things like Rocky Mt. Spotted fever that can cause kidney problems that can be reversed. I hoped so bad that would be the case that I feel like I let him down. He was so sick at the end his last night with us was horrible for him. If I had to do it over again I would not of let him suffer for so long. I wanted to give him every chance I could to get better but he was sooo sick. I don't know much about what your dog has but you are in my prayers.


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## barbprzyby

Wendy-

The love you have for Maggie and appreciation for all she has given you is one of the sweetest things we can experience in this life.

I believe that when our dogs die, God takes them back to Himself.
Life without love is death in one form and it's a hard, hard soul that can't realize the wonder of their devotion to us.

When the need to relieve their suffering approaches so swiftly, there isn't time to sort out your feelings and come to a place of strength.
I know the shock of having to consider being responsible for making such a horrible decision for something we have nurtured, protected, and done all to keep from harm.

The support given on this forum is priceless to help us walk thru that valley of death.
You will come out the other side, because so many prayers for peace are garrisoning your heart.

My heart dog is 13 1/2 now and slowly losing function of her rear legs.
The front end is fine and strong.
My sorrow is already mounting for "that day" in the event she dosn't pass on without assistance.

I have kept a poem given to me by her breeder in her "puppy pack" when we brought her home.
I knew I might need it one day.
I hope it brings you some comfort too.

God Bless and you are in my prayers, Wendy.

Before I grow too frail and weak,
And all that's left is peace in sleep,
I know you'll do what must be done,
To end this fight that can't be won.

I don't fear death as humans do,
So let me try to comfort you.
Come, let us take a quiet stroll,
And share some moments, soul to soul.

No need for words 'twixt you and I,
No need to say a last good-bye,
We've grown so close in mind and heart,
It seems so cruel that we must part.

Be sure I sense the pain you'll feel,
Without me walking at your heel,
The days will feel full of despair,
Your sunshine simply won't be there.

In time the pain will slowly wane,
You'll think of me and smile again,
You'll speak with love and pride of me,
Your extra special G.S.D.

You will be sad - I understand,
But then don't grief let stay your hand,
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stands the test.

Don't grieve so that it must be you,
Who must decide this thing to do.
We've had so many happy years,
And what's to come, it holds no fears.

Now take me where my needs they'll tend,
And stay with me until the end,
Hold me close and speak to me,
until my eyes no longer see.

The final sound I need to hear,
Is your soft voice upon my ear.
Your loving face will fade and dim,
As the rush of heaven closes in.

author unknown to me


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## kaylesraven

Wendy,
My heart goes out to you. I contemplated not telling you Kayle's story, and just giving you words of hope, but maybe you will find something in her story that might help you in this horrible time that words of hope may not be able to provide. I know that when I was going thru the same thing, I searched the internet for other stories of how other people handled the same situation for strength and perhaps reassurance that we were doing the right thing, and to know we were not alone.

My husband and I lost our heart dog, Kayle, to hemangiosarcoma on April 19, my husband's 40th birthday. Exactly two weeks prior, she woke up in horrible pain. We rushed her to the vet, and later that evening, at a third hospital, she had emergency surgery to remove her kidney and a huge tumor and blood clot. We were told she had 3-6 months to live at the most. We did everything we could to be sure she was comfortable and had a good quality of life during those two weeks we were given, as it was amazing she didn't die from the bleeding tumor that had taken over her kidney.

I worked as a head vet tech at a state of the art, AAHA cert hospital (please don't hold that against me everyone....I was a good, well-educated vet tech, not a doofus many of you and myself encounter regularly) for 3 years and watched many animals suffer needlessly because the owners kept hanging on beyond the time, trying to extend the animals life, but at a huge price paid via the animal's suffering from a lower quality of life. I swore that when we were faced with the same decision, I would not be selfish and do the same thing to my animals. 

But then whammo, there we were, facing a decision to have emergency surgery on Kayle to find out exactly what was going on in her abdomen and to try and relieve her pain, because the ultrasound was not clear, or to euthanize her and avoid putting her, at age 11.5, thru the surgery, icu stay, and even more pain. After many tears and much soul searching, we decided that we would go thru with the surgery because we didn't know for sure what was wrong, and hoped that there was a chance that it was something relatively minor like an absess. 

After a couple of minor complications and a 3 day stay in ICU, she came hope. She was weak, tired, sore, and more than a little dopey from the pain meds we kept her on but gradually cut back on as she was healing. But she was still Kayle, with the fire in her eyes, the sassiness in her voice, and her bossy, loving, protective attitude. She was eating, drinking, walking, barking, and trying to run and romp, roll in the grass, and chase her frisbee (she didn't understand why I would not throw it more than at her feet so she could pick it up and chew it). 

Then came the morning of April 19. I will never forget when she told me it was time...she woke up nauseous that morning, vomited a couple of times, was breathing harder than usual, and would not lay down. We were watching her closely and waiting to see if she got to feeling better before going to the vet, but when she came to me, bumped me with her hiney to get my undivided attention in her Kayle-way, whined, and looking into my eyes, she told me right then that it was time. I never really understood the emotional knowing until that moment, as I always intellectualized it by examining the facts...eating, drinking, med status, etc. But there it was, heavy with grief and understanding.

Even in my knowing, and even with the vet telling us that her rads showed the cancer had spread to her lungs and liver in just two short weeks, my heart still fought it with the what-ifs....what if we can keep her comfortable for a few more weeks, what if that is just an artifact on the xray, even very unrational and somewhat paranoid what-ifs that were propogated by overwhelming grief: what if the vet is wrong, what if they mixed up the xrays, what if this isn't really happening and its just a nightmare, what if she will get better and we are over-reacting or jumping the gun, what if there is something else we can do for her.

But then there was the knowing and the ok that came from Kayle. And my remembering that I swore to not make one of mine suffer needlessly when I knew it was time. So we kept that promise and did the right and kind thing that day. Kayle died in my arms in the back seat of my car, with my husband holding her head and paws. We wanted her to go somewhere she loved, not in the vet's office. And she loved to ride in the car. We brought her home and buried her that night in our field, with the horse my husband grew up with and that we lost just three years prior. 

What I found in the awareness of her slowly dying was the awareness of LIVING. Yes, while all you can do is wait, you can also LIVE in the waiting. I have a hard time putting this into words, but let me try. I fought daily to LIVE with fun, happiness, and laughter for and with her in defiance of her sickness. And you will be given more....more love, laughing, patience, empathy, appreciation, tenderness, caring, and insight into her devotion to you and your family. And you will be better for it on the other side of the grief. So will she. I kept reminding myself that Kayle was living in the moment, not fretting over that fact that she was going to die soon, even though she may have known in a way that us humans do not understand. And I did my best to live because of that.

So in response to your questions: 
when? you will know. she will tell you. It may not be in the way i have described, but you will know.

What can you expect? They will likely check her out again, xrays, blood work, etc., So you will have the reassurance to go with your knowing (unless you have the vet come to your home). And when it is time and you say ok, the vet will give her an injection, either via an iv catheter in her leg or via a muscle. That will sedate her quickly and she will fall asleep peacefully in your arms. You will feel her get heavy and relax. Then the vet will give her another injection thru her iv catheter that will slowly stop her heart and her breathing. I felt the exact second Kayle was gone. It will be before the entire dose is administered. It takes a bit of time to administer it (a minute or so). The vet will check her heart a couple of times to be sure that she is gone. When the time comes, if you want time alone with her either before or afterwards to say your goodbyes, tell the vet and take your time. 

Cremation: The vet can and should arrange this for you. It will probably be thru a third party. The vet will arrange for the transfer of her body to them for the cremation. You may be given the opportunity to choose an urn for her to be returned to you in, or the choice for a temporary urn if you wish to spread her ashes in her favorite place(s).

Please know that we are all thinking of you and Maggie. Many


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## littledmc17

My heart goes out to you and your family!!!
It kills me that this nasty diease effects the sweetest animals and they can't even tell us what is wrong. Not fair.
My prayers are with you and Maggie


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## elsie




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## Karin

Wendy, I'm so sorry that Maggie, you, and your family are going through this. It's heartbreaking to see your beloved friend decline before your eyes, knowing that there is nothing you can do to save them.

Our first dog, Sheba, was like a child to us. We got her as a 10-week old puppy when we were first married. When she was 10, she started having grand mal seizures and we thought for sure we'd lose her, but (long story short), she had a brain tumor successfully removed and we had another great year with her. 

She started declining in her 11th year and we found out she had incurable leukemia. At first, she just seemed a little more tired than usual. We weren't ready to let her go and tried different treatments to keep her going. Like Maggie, she had a strong appetite until the end, and she was so happy just to be with us. But one day, Sheba tried to stand up to go to the bathroom and was so weak that she couldn't get up. She looked at us so sadly and we knew the time had come to let her go.

We called a mobile veterinary service and they came out right away. They were so kind and gentle with her. We went out to the back yard and took her to her favorite spot, and while we held her and petted her, they put her to sleep. It was very peaceful and it truly seemed as though she was just sleeping. Even though this happened 15 years ago, I can still remember that afternoon like it was yesterday. They gave us some time alone with her and then took her away to be cremated and returned the ashes to us. We planted a beautiful flowering tree and some pretty flowers in her favorite area.

You will know when it's time to let Maggie go. You can take comfort in knowing that you gave her a wonderful life. The love you have for each other will always be there.

Here is a poem that our veterinarian sent us. We found it very uplifting:

...Grieve not, 
nor speak of me with tears
but laugh and talk of me 
as if I were beside you.
I loved you so —
'twas Heaven here with you.

--Isla Paschal Richardson


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## sprzybyl

> Originally Posted By: koog
> The final sound I need to hear,
> Is your soft voice upon my ear.
> Your loving face will fade and dim,
> As the rush of heaven closes in.


Man... this made me cry and cry and cry.

Wendy we are keeping you in our prayers. Our hearts hurt just thinking about what you are going through... but try to accept the support you have here... many resources and warm thoughts and serious praying!


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## WendiGSD

Thank you all *so* much for taking the time to reply to my message. It means so much to me!! 

~ Jean, thanks so much for all of the links. I will be going through them all.

~ Koog & Karin, thank you SO much for the beautiful poems. I love them!.

~ Bev, thank you so much for going into detail as far as what to expect. I appreciate it!

And again, thanks to everyone else for sharing your stories!! 

It truly isn't fair that such beautiful animals have to suffer in any way. It's not like you can explain to them what is going on, and that's the hardest part. 

Like I said, I am going to take it one day at a time. I guess my biggest fear is waiting to long, and prolonging the suffering. I am also afraid of "jumping the gun" and ending her life a little too soon, if that makes sense. I just don't want her to suffer at all.

Anyhow, gotta go eat some dinner and go to bed. 

All of you are absolutely fabulous!! Give all of your furbabies a huge hug & kiss from myself & Maggie.


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## Cassidy's Mom

> Originally Posted By: WendiGSDI guess my biggest fear is waiting to long, and prolonging the suffering. I am also afraid of "jumping the gun" and ending her life a little too soon, if that makes sense. I just don't want her to suffer at all.


That's the big question we've all struggled with. We had to put Cassidy to sleep at just over 4 years old due to a painful spinal disease, after fighting it for 20 months with everything we could think of - diet, supplements, nutraceuticals, homeopathy, Chinese herbs, acupuncture, chiropractic treatments, and NSAIDs. 

We didn't want to give up on her if there was still hope, but we also didn't want to prolong her life for selfish reasons, simply because we couldn't bear to let her go. Believe me, it makes perfect sense to many of us because we've been exactly where you are now. Making that decision is the hardest, but also the kindest thing you'll ever do for your dog. Whatever you decide to do, realize that, and don't beat yourself up over it.


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## jmom288

I am so sorry about your baby. It is one of the hardest things someone has to do. I used to work at a vet and this was always hard for me, but i actually learned how to cope better when it was 2 of my pets time. I stayed with them and had them cremated. They came back in a nice pine box with their name on the bottom and a certificate. It is a little bit pricey here for cremation, about 250. to me didn't make a difference. you will know when it is time, you don't want your pet to suffer even though it will be just as hard on you to let go. my prayers are with you and your family.


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## 3K9Mom

> Quote:
> 
> When you're ready, they can give the final shot which stops the heart. It is painless to them and they go to sleep within seconds.


Literally, seconds. 

Some of the regulars here have heard me say this before, but being at my dog's euthanasia was a peaceful, spiritual experience for me. There is another thread, "what if you can't handle being there." I hope that everyone who *thinks* they can't handle being there read through this whole thread. 

Our dear furry friends go peacefully. My dog was in my arms; my husband was rubbing her back. It was the middle of the night in the emergency clinic. We didn't anticipate the end, or we would have stopped for a wonderful feast first. But we had known she wasn't feeling too well, so we had her on our bed for a few hours ahead of time, snuggling with her before we realized that it was more than just a bit of pain that she was in. (She was going through massive heart failure, which we never expected). At the clinic, I held her: I told her I loved her. My tears fell on her furry black head, and she had that wonderful grin, despite her discomfort. She loved all the attention she was getting. I told the vet "ok." 

And that was it. Grover was gone. Peacefully, instantly, painlessly, in the arms of the one that loved her most in the world, with the other one close by, hearing us telling her how much we loved her, and what a good girl she is. We told the vet we really wanted to bring our other dogs back to see Grover, so they'd understand. The vet said that there's no research to indicate this helps the remaining dogs' grieving process, but if that's what we wanted, she'd arrange it. We went home, got our other two dogs, and brought them back. 

Grover was lying on a stretcher. She still had her little grin on her face. They had covered her with a blanket, up to her shoulders, so she looked like she was napping. Camper sniffed once and walked away; Dh took him out of the room. Zamboni, who was Grover's packmate for 10 years, sniffed and began to tremble. She sat next to her, and I sat on the floor next to Boni. We sat for a few minutes, then I led Boni out. 

My dogs never once looked for Grover at home or anywhere else. They knew what happened to their packmate, that she was gone. 

It was as it should have been. She passed away surrounded by those she loves, the way all of us want to go. Her packmates were able to say goodbye to the extent that they are able. I only wish that when it's my turn, I am able to go so quickly and with such dignity and love. 

And while your pup is with us, enjoy her; take photos and video. Enjoy junk food. Take lots of trips, even if it's just to the grocery store, or to the park where you sit on a bench or even in the car and enjoy the fresh breeze and different sights. Write down all the wonderful unique things that she does that makes her different than every other dog you've ever known. 

Don't worry about the end. It will come when it comes. Savor every minute that you have together. That's the one thing that I'll regret, that I didn't know the end was coming, so I spent too much time doing day-to-day stuff instead of romping on the floor with Grover during her last few weeks. In an odd way, you have been given a blessing, a reminder that all of us are on a clock that keeps ticking. Enjoy every second.

Bless you and your family.


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## WiscTiger

The one thing that helps me is this:

It isn't fair that my dogs can stay with me for our entire lives, but God decided that there would be more dogs needing loving homes than people to supply them so he just loans the dogs to us for a certain period of time. Then there is another dog/pup some place some time that tugs at our heart strings and we do it all over again. 

Val


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## unicorndreams21

Ohhh... my heart goes out to you! I went through a similiar experience in 2006. Imo was my best friend, defender, confidant. I rescued him when I was 19 and living in Cali. When I moved to MD in '95, I flew Imo out here to join me. He gave me almost 13 years of unwavering devotion. Was with me through my first marriage & subsequent divorce, at times it felt as if he was the only one "here" for me. When I returned from my honeymoon I noticed a small bump over his eye, took him to the Dr. and it was treated as a possible spider bite.. as the bump grew the specialists were never able to conclusively name it, but it was believed to be cancer attacking his sinuses. We had it removed, including much of his sinuses, through the many treatments and surgeries we were hit with the news that he had cancer of the blood vessels (I am not sure of the technical words) and we were told at best he had 3 months to live. Imo went against all odds and we had him for an additional 8 months, over a year and 1/2 from originally discovering the "bump." He was a fighter until the very end.. the funny thing was our motto became "he can do WHATEVER he wants," quite a few times DH & I ate hamburgers & hotdogs while we grilled the Ribeye & NY strip for my Meemo. He "told" me when it was time to "let him go." It was the hardest decision I have EVER had to make. I "dressed" for him on his last day... putting on the capris and t shirt that was our favorite, dabbed the mango body oil that was a part of "my scent", and brought his fave stuffed hedgehog. I spent a few minutes alone with him before calling the Dr. in to start administering the shots. It took quite a few shots until he let go. He fought it to the end, he had lived so much of his life for me that it was hard for him to let go, essentially he was staying for me. I stayed with him the whole time w/DH sitting behind him. I told DH that we wouldn't cry in front of him because I didn't want his last memory to be my heart breaking. I just stroked his head and kissed him & told him he truly is the best dog and how much I love him. Finally, he let go, when he knew I would be okay. It's been almost 2 years (August 25th) & I still cry over him. The vet took care of having him cremated and placed in a beautiful mahogany box w/his name engraved in brass. I have him on my mantle in our family room with his "Best Dog" collar, his everyday collar, and his fave stuffed hedgehog on top. It comforts me that he is still "watching" over me. 

Soooo... to make a short story long, you are not being melodramatic. Keep loving her everyday, have your motto be, "Maggie can do WHATEVER she wants," she will let you know when it's time. You will see it in her eyes, when she is just tired and her quality & joy in life is no longer there. Be there for her to pet her and love her as she approaches the rainbow bridge.


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## Qyn

Thankyou for sharing IMO's story - it was very moving to read.


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## CertainlySpoiled

I'm very sorry Wendy.


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## middleofnowhere

Wendy,
As to when you know, boy did I struggle with that one with the last one I had put down. She was struggling with kidney failure for what seemed like a long time but was probably about nine months to a year. She had been slowing down before that. Over the last few years (it seemed like several), I would question myself on ending her live. But she always perked up when we visited friends. When that happened I knew she was still OK. I pulled her off "dialysis" when I discovered it was painful for her - she was about 14 at that time. The vet techs thought I was awful but she was an old dog and didn't deserve the pain, especially as it didn't do much for her. When she stopped eating the special diet, wouldn't eat pureed meat baby food, when she wandered aimlessly... It was clearly time.
It's hard, hard, hard. My first two were pretty clear cut - one dog was in a comma; the other had uncurable cancer & was in pain. But Benna was so hard. I worried a lot about doing the right thing but in the end it was right. 
You'll worry about it but you'll get it right.


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## tawnyhillshepherds

Wendy I am so sorry that you know you are going to lose your precious Maggie but take that as a gift and live each day to it's fullest showering her with attention and love and all the special things that she loves. Try not to dwell on the time that will come when you lose her because she feels all those feelings you have and I believe dogs know and feel emotions. Store up as many more wonderful memories you can with her and when the time comes I have found I have gotten much better at not waiting too long as that is just the human part not wanting to let them go and if you can let them go before they reach a point of extreme discomfort it's best for them and a decision you will not regret whereas waiting too long and realizing you made your dog suffer so our human minds can absorb losing them. They will feel no pain and the shot is easy and quiet . I didn't use to stay with my animals while they were put down thinking I couldn't bear the pain Now I have done it for over 15 years of staying with them as they breathe their last breath and even though my heart is breaking I like knowing they are comfortable and happy I am there with them and I swear they know we are releasing them from their pain and though we will have to endure ours of losing them we will have all those wonderful memories to help us through the loss. It's the hardest thing but I wish you peace and more moments with Maggie.


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## Timber1

Let your dog pass on at your home, not at the vet's. And as much as possible during the dog's last few weeks or month stay with Wendy.


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## WendiGSD

Thanks again so much for your encouraging words! I hope you guys don't mind, but I have printed out this thread. I have a feeling I am going to need it in the future









Maggie has been doing okay. She's still laying under my daughter's high chair waiting for food to fall on the floor. She's still eating very well. However, I did notice yesterday that the tumor in her mouth is huge. The side of her face is puffy, and looks distorted. The vet had mentioned that the cancer had spread to her eye socket, so her eye looks funny. She also has quite a bit of puss draining from her eye. She took a drink earlier this evening, and she is obviously bleeding. She sleeps alot and looks so sad. This sucks.

Is anyone here familiar with oral malignant melanoma or fibroscarcoma? I don't know what the heck I am looking at as far as her physical condition. I put a call into the vet's office this evening to have her put back on Rimadyl, and will speak with her again tomorrow because I have a ton of questions. Just hoping somebody here can offer a little insight as far as these two forms of cancer.

I would love to have Maggie pass here at home. She hates going to the vet, and I would hate to have her last moments in a place she's not comfortable in. From what I understand (again...need to speak to the vet), by the time she passes on her own, she will be in extreme pain. I would like to avoid that. Are there vets that make "house calls" as far as euthanasia? 

I'm sorry that I am completely ignorant on this whole process. Maggie is my first dog. I had dogs growing up, but my parents always dealt with the um... "unpleasant" situations. 

Anyhow, I am going to try to post a picture of Maggie and get the kids to bed. Take care everyone, and thanks again for sharing your thoughts/stories.


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## middleofnowhere

Ask your vet if she would come to the house. Mine did for Benna.


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## bullet395

WendiGSD, this is incredibly sad to hear and it will be hard on you. Your friend will give you signs when it is time for your paths to part. Some will be subtle signs and some will be a bit more obvious. If she is not eating, looks sad ALL OF THE TIME and is restless at night when she used to sleep sound then those are definite signs. There are others such as if she goes to lay down in unusual places that are secluded or away from the family. Our Bullet was going into different bathrooms to sleep and crawling into the corner behind the toilet. He did not want to sleep on his comfy ortho beds in the company of his family. This was VERY out of place for him and I knew his time with us was limited. I crawled on the floor with him and spoke softly to him and he gave me a look that I had never seen from him before and I knew that he was suffering and that he was ready to depart. She will tell you if you look closely at her. She does not want to ever be a burden, her only ambition is to bring you happiness. She does not wish to see you suffer any more than you want to see her suffer. God bless you in your time of anguish.


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## car2ie

I'm so sorry for you. 
I lost my big guy last year due to a spleenic mass that ruptured and it just shattered me. He was apparently healthy for an older dog. I'm told that unless I did an MRI or Ultrasound at his yearly bloodpanel it wouldn't have been diagnosed...as I still second guess myself. Please don't get into the second guessing game. I can speak from that experience that it's counter productive.

.
My vet also offered cremation services. I also brought Loki home as he had the worst separation anxiety and it just seemed right.


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## Skye'sMom

Wendy, how is Maggie doing today? Your upates are both so uplifting (Maggie lying under the chair waiting for food to fall) and sad (thinking of the cancer spreading to the eye sockets.)

I hope yo have had the chance to talk to your vet about coming to your house. If that cannot happen, some vets will also come outside for dogs who stress in the clinic.

I think you are doing a good job of accepting the reality of this horrific disease. Gentle hugs to Maggie from my home.


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## WendiGSD

Bonnie,

Thanks so much for asking! Maggie is doing a little better. I ended up putting her back on Rimadyl and that seems to help. She is still lovin' food







. She ate some of my McDonald's fries and half of my double cheeseburger today. She's been getting alot of the good stuff...LOL. Especially from my 18 month old daughter. She thinks it's hysterical to throw her food on the floor for Maggie to eat.

We are just taking it one day at a time. Right now I am concerned about the sneezing and grunting. I am assuming the cancer/tumor is affecting her nasal passages. I just wish I had a better idea of how the cancer is affecting her physically. 

Anyhow, thanks again so much for keeping us in your thoughts!!


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN

There are some Yahoo groups that might be able to help? I am not sure:
http://www.caninecancerproject.com/canine_cancer_support_groups.htm

That site also has articles, etc. 

http://www.helpyourdogfightcancer.com/ may also have a little information. 

It IS so hard when you don't know what you are seeing. 

You can also do a low cost consultation (or I think your vet can) with places like Cornell on pain management. It sounds like Maggie is really enjoying herself with the love and food, and you are doing a great job with her.


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## JazzNScout

I'm so sorry. I haven't yet read the other responses, but I know people always say "They will let you know," and they will. I went through this with my 10 y.o. GSD last year. I said, "The day she turns down food and doesn't want to chase the poodle in the yard behind us [a daily ritual], I know it will be time." Well, one evening, Morgan came in the house, gave me a look _I will never forget_, lied down, refused a piece of chicken, and only put her head up for a moment when she heard the poodle out back. I sat with her on the floor for a couple hours and then took her in. It's hard, but you know you're doing the right thing and you know you will be there for her in return for her being there for you all this time. Hugs to you.


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## WendiGSD

Thanks again for the replies!
JazzNScout- I am holding on to the hope that Maggie will let me know. It has truly been a roller coaster of emotions for me. A few nights back Maggie was sleeping in my master bathroom and started sneezing really hard. I went in there and she had blood coming from her mouth. She was also breathing extremely hard. I thought for sure she was going to die right there. The next morning she was attacking the vacuum cleaner and looking for scraps of food again, just like her "old" self. She has good days, and she has bad days. 
She is loosing weight, and I think she may be going blind. She is having some trouble eating because the darn tumor in her mouth is so large







.
This really stinks. I hate to admit it, but I want this to be over. I hate seeing her struggling, but am hoping for some type of sign from her that it's okay to let her go.


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## WendiGSD

I wanted to add a picture of Maggie. I finally figured out how... yea me









It's not the best picture because it's a picture of a picture. It is from a few years back, but it's one of my favorites. 









[/img]


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## 3K9Mom

It's a wonderful photo. Reminds me of something I read once: 

"I got snoowz on my nooze." 

Such a beautiful girl. She could be my Camper's sister.














Yes, she's quite the looker!


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## WiscTiger

WediGSD, Maggie is a great looking gal and I bet she has filled your life with Joy. Have you tried soft wet food instead of kibble, not sure what you are feeding. Food that she can lap up and now chew.


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## WendiGSD

LOL...she LOVES snow! Especially catching snowballs. It was so funny when she would miss them. She'd start digging in the snow looking for them. It makes me sad to think she most likely won't see another winter.

I did switch her food from Canidae to Natural Balance "small bites" soaked in water. She loves wet food though, so I may just go strictly with that to make things easier for her. 

I couldn't ask for a better dog. She has been great with both of my kids. She is definately "my" dog, and is very loyal to me. The house is going to be so empty without her. While she was at the vet the day she was diagnosed the doorbell rang and there was complete silence...no barking. I broke out in tears. I cannot imagine this house without her. She will definately be missed.

Thanks for your responses! It truly does help to be able to "talk" about everything on this board. My family is great, but they don't truly understand how hard this is for me.


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## Timber1

Darn, it is a wonderfull picture. I haven't yet faced death with a GSD, but stay with Magie till she passes on.

At that moment there is no other place you should be, no matter how difficult.


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## bullet395

How is Maggie doing? I've been following your posts and praying for the both of you.


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## WendiGSD

Thanks for asking! Maggie isn't doing so well. She is having a hard time breathing and eating. She smells absolutely horrible, which I assume is the infection. After talking with my DH last night we will be ending her suffering some time this week







. We just need to find someone to watch our kids while it's done. 

Honestly, right now I would give anything to have her die somewhat peacefully here on her own, but I don't think that is going to happen. This sounds horrible, but I am tired of watching her die. I don't know how much more I can take. 

Maggie has been spending 90% of her time laying in the laundry room (her fav. spot besides next to our bed). My 7 year old drew a couple of pictures he put on the wall above Maggie. One of the pictures says "I love you" and he drew himself walking Maggie. 

Anyhow, thanks again for asking!! I appreciate it...


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## 3K9Mom

I'm sorry. This must be incredibly difficult for your family. I can't even imagine.









Maggie and your whole family remains in my thoughts.


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## Skye'sMom

I am so sorry for all your family is going through. Your son's love of Maggie is beautiful and comforting her through his pictures was so sweet.

I will be thinking of all of you this week. Maggie will leave this earth, but live forever in your hearts.

Hugs to all of you







Soft petting for Maggie.


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## middleofnowhere

Wendy, Sometimes if you give them verbal permission to die, they will let go easier. Maybe this is the time for you to set quietly with her for a while, recount the good times, remind her what a good dog she's been and tell her it is OK for her to die. 

I had part jokingly asked Benna to stick around until she was 20 very early in her life. A bit before she died (I did have her euthanized) I told her that it really was OK to die sooner if she needed to. 

However it goes, Maggie has been a terrific companion. My thoughts are with you this week.


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## BowWowMeow

So sorry to hear that Maggie is not doing well. Is it possible to get your vet to come to your house? Some vets will do that if you ask. 

And I understand how agonizing this time is for you. I have told all of my dogs it was ok to go but still had to have them pts to end their suffering. A very, very difficult decision in every case.


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## bullet395

I am sorry to hear this bad news. Like someone said previously to this post. Spend time with her and speak with her. She will let you know that it is time for her to leave if this is the case. As sad as this is, it must be this way. I chose to be with Bullet when it was apparent that he was suffering, I did not want him to leave us in the middle of the night, or while we were at work. I wanted him in my arms so that he knew he was safe and going to a good place. I will be thinking of you both, and wish you peace with your ordeal.


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## Katerlena

Dear Wendy. I am very sorry to hear that Maggie isn't doing well and know it must be very difficult for you and your family right now because you love her so much.

Its true what everyone says that they tell you when its time. We recently lost our 14 year old GSD and the night before she died she gave me this lingering incredible loving look deep into my eyes I can't describe but I knew this must have been what everyone meant. 

There are many good resources on this special thread I found very helpful in coping with losing my beloved girl--and hope they will help you too. There are many many people here also that understand what you and your family are going thru and hopefully that will bring you comfort also.

You and Maggie will be in my thoughts.


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## WendiGSD

Thanks so much everyone!! I cannot put into words how much your stories & thoughts have meant to me.

Maggie's vet will be coming to our house Friday afternoon to end her suffering. 

Not much has changed since I last posted, but for some reason or another I made the call this afternoon. I was just sitting around the house, decided to get the phone & phone book, and made the call. I was very proud of myself because I actually held it together while talking to the very nice lady that arranged everything. Now I just need to make a decision on what to do with Maggie's body. All I know is that I need her body back in one form or the other. We will either bury her (if it's legal in our area), or have her ashes returned to us. I cannot stomach the thought of having her body taken away, only to be part of a mass cremation.


On a side note... When I spoke to my mom on the phone tonight I had told her that I had called the vet. She told me that last night before she went to bed she had prayed to St. Francis to help me make the decision to end Maggie's suffering. I'm not a particularly religous person, but this was definately a sign that the decision I made was the right one.

Anyhow, once again thanks so much to everyone here. Before I found this thread I had no idea that veterinarians would do in-home euthanasia. Honestly, I thought that was pretty much something that was only done with horses/livestock. Having Maggie's last few minutes at home is a huge relief to me!!! 

Tomorrow night and Friday morning will be the worst. Tomorrow night I will go upstairs with my girl to go to bed for the last time. I am planning on giving her a special "last meal" sometime before the vet comes. I will also be taking her for a ride in the car. She loves going for rides!! 


I just cannot do it anymore. I cannot watch her struggle with eating and breathing. I know she is uncomfortable, if not in pain. I can no longer watch the huge lump in her mouth continue to grow. I can no longer watch her desperately look for food I am handing to her even though it is right in front of her. I cannot handle the smell anymore. I cannot handle watching my beautiful dog suffer anymore. 

Now that I have rambled on and on, I am going to go pet my doggie


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## srfd44-2

Give Maggie a hug from all of us too, okay ?


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## Skye'sMom

My heart is with you and Maggie. This is the last respectful, caring thing we can do for our animals.

I wish for you a good day and night tomorrow with Maggie. I am glad your vet will come to your home to help with this.

I know the decision was difficult, but you have done so much and now recognize when the time for good-bye is here.

Please come back and talk to us when you can - we are here for you.


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## ellen366

my heart breaks for you; i've made this decision so many times and it's never gotten any easier, no matter what the circumstances; i dread those final drives to the vet

you've made the right choice; it's the last good thing that we can do for our furkids...the one that ends their suffering and discomfort; hold her and love her; and remember, she'll always be w/you in your heart

ellen


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## unicorndreams21

((hugs)) to you & Maggie!!


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## kasbn

Wendy,

Your last post brought tears to my eyes. I can so feel your heartache.

Please know, my thoughts are with you and Maggie.

kathy


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## BowWowMeow

Wendi,

Please enjoy these last days together. You are doing a wonderful thing for her. 

Take care,


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## MatsiRed

> Originally Posted By: WendiGSD
> Maggie's vet will be coming to our house Friday afternoon to end her suffering...


Wendy,

What a beautiful bond you and Maggie seem to have. I have come to believe that the sicker they are and the longer we nurse them, the harder it is to let them go.

I've never seen cancer of the mouth in a dog, but I see it in people all the time. It's very difficult to watch and hard to control the symptoms, as you described. You are a strong and amazing dog mom to be able to come this far with her, and I will never get over how much we are capable of as humans when we love another being this intensely. 

I am certain that Maggie will be forever grateful to you for standing by her during her darkest days, including this one final act of kindness. (Having her die at home in familiar surroundings with her loved ones is a decision out of the norm but one I'll be exploring myself next time around for me.)


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## raysmom

<span style="color: #000099">You are giving Maggie the greatest gift of all by releasing her from her pain and suffering and helping her cross the Bridge. It's always incredibly painful, but hopefully knowing your girl will soon be out of her misery is some consolation. Hugs to you and Maggie as you help her along on her final journey.</span>


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## Qyn

Hugs to you and Maggie.


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## WiscTiger

Wendi. hugs to you and Maggie. The one thing I would suggest is to meet the vet outside. Discuss the procedure and in my state I had tyo sign some papers. That was a hard step for me, I got a touch weepy, but I pulled it together to go in the house. My dog knew his Vet so it was like Oh nice man you came to say good bye also, thank you so much. So it was easier for me to take care of the details away from my dog.

Sending you hugs and strength.

Val


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## 3K9Mom

Please know you're not alone. I'm not physically there with you. But my spirit is there with you and Maggie (if you can imagine a friendly caring hand on your shoulder) as you and go through this. And I have a feeling I'm not alone in feeling this way. 

You will be in my thoughts all day today and tomorrow.


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## marksmom3

Wendi, I'll be thinking of you and Maggie and your family tomorrow and in the coming days.


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## barbprzyby

My prayers and thoughts are with you all the way. 
You are truely doing the unselfish thing for Maggie. 
God bless you for loving her so and carrying her burden for so long with all the compassion she could have hoped for. 
She knows your love and it will not fail. 
It will have it's reward.


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## WendiGSD

I want to once again thank everyone here for their thoughts and prayers.

Yesterday went about as well as it possibly could have. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Earlier in the day I took Maggie for one last ride in the car. We went to McDonalds and got her french fries and a cheeseburger...her favorite . She then went to say goodbye to our neighbor. She adored him. 

The vet and an assistant. came to our house. They came in and petted Maggie for a little while. They then gave her a sedative. Maggie walked around for a little while until the sedative kicked in. I had her come lay on the family room floor with me. I pet her and told her I loved her while I looked in her eyes. She fell asleep.

Yesterday seemed like to longest day of my life. Going upstairs to go to bed was the hardest. I looked at the spot she slept in and realized I would never see her laying there again. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Hopefully each day will get a little easier.

I highly recommend in-home euthanasia if it is something you are comfortable with. It was most likely the least traumatic way to have it done for both Maggie and myself.

Give all of your dogs big hugs and kisses from us. Hopefully one day I will be back at this site to post about a new dog. I need to have a dog in my life. The house is too empty without one!!

Thanks again everyone, and take care!!


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## bullet395

You did the most noble act for your Maggie. I am very sorry for your loss. Time will ease your pain, and replace it with happy memories. She will always love you and the kindness you showed for her during her final hours.


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## Katerlena

I am so sorry for your loss of dear Maggie and know your house and heart seems empty without her right now but know that she will always be a part of you and your family and her spirit will always be with you.


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## Henrik Meurke

Oh, this thread really got me emotional.. I really miss my old dog "Turbo"


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