# I knew it was coming soon



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

I’m feeling so confused right now. I know Chi is old.. she has congestive heart failure.. but she’s been in pretty good shape all things considered. Always excited to eat and goofy. She suddenly had diarrhea Friday morning and it has been downhill from there. Losing interest in food, vomiting, non stop diarrhea. Took her to the emergency vet… all but one kidney value was extremely high. Said she’s in serious kidney failure, caused by Salix, the medication needed to keep her heart failure in check.

so there is nothing we can do as these two diseases are clashing. Was told to take her home, love on her, and say goodbye. I don’t know what to do, how long to give myself before I bring her in. I know no one here can tell me when. I just needed to write this out, as I have no one but my dogs. I can hardly breathe. This is my soulmate I’ve been through everything with.


----------



## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

Very sorry to hear this.


----------



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

It sucks when you know it's time. I'm so sad for you. Will keep you in my thoughts.

Man it's been rough here the last bit.


----------



## SuperG (May 11, 2013)

My heart goes out to you and I doubt there is any "right" answer except the one you will have to make.

FWIW, I've always been an advocate of not procrastinating the final act of kindness because one doesn't want to say "goodbye".......one must solely think of the dog and not make such a wonderful creature have to suffer unduly especially for our own reluctance to liberate them from their hardship.

IMHO, subjecting a dog which is your "soulmate" to your anguish over a period of time might greatly confuse your dog and perhaps make your dog feel as though she has done something horribly wrong. I think most of us do not have the capacity to block our sadness in this situation and the dog will see through our attempts and sense the sadness. They're just so darned perceptive.

I just recently sent my dog on her way this past March and I still challenge if I did it in the best fashion possible but we did it strictly with the dog's best interests in mind. We made the decision rather quickly and I would have loved to keep her around for a longer period of time but that would have only served my needs and not the dogs. I'd like to believe that I did not put her through any confusion and most importantly that she did not feel as though she let us down via the intense sadness she would have felt coming from us.

Let your conscience be your guide and as you know there is no easy way to proceed..... you will live with your decision one way or another.

My bottom line is ....for a dog that has so gallantly served your needs and you have bonded with.....set her free from her hardship with some of her dignity intact...it's perhaps the finest yet the most difficult decision you will make as your dog's steward.

From the sounds of your posting, I'm glad you have another dog to get you through the tough times.

Take care and whatever decision you make will be the proper one.


SuperG


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

SuperG said:


> FWIW, I've always been an advocate of not procrastinating the final act of kindness because one doesn't want to say "goodbye".......*one must solely think of the dog and not make such a wonderful creature have to suffer unduly especially for our own reluctance to liberate them from their hardship*.


This.
100% this.

I've seen too many people wait one day (or month) too late and it's the absolute worst thing to do.
Be a day early....it's the last act of absolute love for your pup.

I promised all my dogs I'd never compromise or justify their quality of life for my selfishness. 

Prayers up for you.


----------



## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I'm so very sorry. For me, the best way to say goodbye has been for the vet to come to my place to euthanize my dog. With another dog in the home, my preference is for the other dog to be away from home when it happens. I'd also rather have it happen too early than too late. My deepest sympathies to you.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Dunkirk said:


> I'm so very sorry. For me, the best way to say goodbye has been for the vet to come to my place to euthanize my dog. With another dog in the home, my preference is for the other dog to be away from home when it happens. I'd also rather have it happen too early than too late. My deepest sympathies to you.


Thank you. This is something I’m looking into but not sure if it will be an option as the area I live in is a small town with not much around. It seems like a much less stressful way


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Sabis mom said:


> It sucks when you know it's time. I'm so sad for you. Will keep you in my thoughts.
> 
> Man it's been rough here the last bit.


Thank you ❤ give Shadow an extra hug for me. The seniors really are something special


----------



## Benny's Mom (9 mo ago)

I lost my sweet boy in February, his decline was fast and after a very long night, we let him go.. It's never an easy thing but, I knew I had to do right by him. Just saying it or posting it out loud makes it real. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers


----------



## NadDog24 (May 14, 2020)

Man, I thought this week couldn’t get worse! I’m sorry to hear about your sweet Chi


----------



## Hopps (Dec 5, 2021)

I'm sorry you have to make that decision. Old chihuahuas are one of a kind.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Gosh breathing has never been so difficult. I know my dog.. she’s not happy. Hoping to be able to have it done with her regular vet. They don’t open for another 30 minutes. We’re sharing a blueberry muffin while we wait. Praying they can get her in today


----------



## SMcN (Feb 12, 2021)

You are making the right choice. Prayers to you and your wonderful pup in your last hours together.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Hopps said:


> I'm sorry you have to make that decision. Old chihuahuas are one of a kind.


Too true. How strongly they bond with their person is intense.


----------



## Chloé&Buck (Jul 1, 2020)

I'm so sorry. Hang in there, you're doing the right thing.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Thank you for doing the right thing. Prayers up


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

She’s gone. I feel like I am too. This was the hardest one. I feel so sick and lost, it just doesn’t feel real. Vera keeps checking Chi’s empty bed. Thank you everyone for the support, it really means a lot knowing you all understand this pain.


----------



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Peace and light to you. Words seem pointless and never enough, but my thoughts are with you.


----------



## 3ymum (Oct 12, 2021)

I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing we can say to make you feel better, however we are here if you need someone to talk to. Chi will always live in your heart and when you think of her, she will always put a smile on your face.


----------



## finn'smom (Oct 4, 2019)

I am so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Man, now I remember why I almost never cry. The throbbing headache as a result is unbearable. Is it weird that I already feel like I want to get another? I thought for sure I wouldn’t even be able to _think _about getting another dog after her, let alone have thoughts so soon. Yet, the thought feels nice


----------



## Sabis mom (Mar 20, 2014)

Verachi said:


> Man, now I remember why I almost never cry. The throbbing headache as a result is unbearable. Is it weird that I already feel like I want to get another? I thought for sure I wouldn’t even be able to _think _about getting another dog after her, let alone have thoughts so soon. Yet, the thought feels nice


My Gram always said crying did nothing but swell your eyes and give you a headache. 
Some folks find comfort in the getting of a new pup. I think it's something to do with bringing new life and energy into your space. Nothing you feel is wrong. Everyone processes grief in a way that is right for them.


----------



## wolfy dog (Aug 1, 2012)

I am so sorry, along with all the others here. We know the heart breaking grief of losing a dog. Bit you are not alone here. We all understand what this is like. It will take time but she is lucky to have had a good life with you.


----------



## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

Verachi said:


> Is it weird that I already feel like I want to get another? I thought for sure I wouldn’t even be able to _think _about getting another dog after her, let alone have thoughts so soon. Yet, the thought feels nice


Last Fall my niece and her husband had to say goodbye to their Boston Terrier. The next day she sent me pics of a 3 week old puppy her husband found online at a breeder's few states away. They would being him home 5 weeks later. I was shocked that they looked so soon.

Fast forward 3 months. I lost my Gypsy Rose to cancer. I found myself on Petfinder the next night trying to find a girl like her. I surprised myself. Didn't find a girl like her, but she sent me my boy Frankie.

Do what feels right for you.

I am sorry for your loss. The ache is awful.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Rosebud99 said:


> Last Fall my niece and her husband had to say goodbye to their Boston Terrier. The next day she sent me pics of a 3 week old puppy her husband found online at a breeder's few states away. They would being him home 5 weeks later. I was shocked that they looked so soon.
> 
> Fast forward 3 months. I lost my Gypsy Rose to cancer. I found myself on Petfinder the next night trying to find a girl like her. I surprised myself. Didn't find a girl like her, but she sent me my boy Frankie.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for sharing that. Makes me feel a bit better to see it’s normal and is just what works for some. I’m definitely thinking about looking, just to see what is out there.

hardest part is the empty spot on the bed and the lack of her little paws click clacking on the hardwood floors. I keep expecting her to follow me


----------



## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

I’m so sorry for your loss and keeping you and Vera in my thoughts. Took me a year to feel ready to think about getting another dog and even then we purposely put down a deposit on a litter 10 months away. By two years, I was at least in a headspace to jump back in - ready or not. If you’re ready now, consider me jealous!

Like others have said, everyone grieves in their own way. Not having ever had two dogs, I don’t have any reason to believe this from experience, but I’m willing to bet your bond with Vera will strengthen now - and that’s something special.

Also, the headache is from dehydration so try to drink some water when you can.


----------



## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

Verachi said:


> hardest part is the empty spot on the bed and the lack of her little paws click clacking on the hardwood floors. I keep expecting her to follow me


My Gypsy loved to bark at bicyclists as we drove by them. She left many nose prints on the inside of my windshield. She passed in January. I have not washed the window....


----------



## peachygeorgia (Oct 5, 2021)

Deeply sorry for your loss, I understand, I never liked little dogs myself until I got my little Chi mix, she's my snuggle partner and goes everywhere with me, its quite a unique ache when losing a little companion❤

not wrong to want another dog at all, they can be a comforting distraction in a time of grief


----------



## SMcN (Feb 12, 2021)

We started looking into a "new" dog prior to losing either one of our JRTs as, at their age, the probability of their passing within a time frame was virtually inevitable. We found a breeder with dogs we liked, put our name on an open wait list with the understanding we had no idea when this would take place or if our circumstances would still be able to support a GSD. 
Were we still as heartbroken when we lost them? Absolutely. The tears and ache still come. But Ilita has done a wonderful job of filling that terrible void. It doesn't lessen the grief, it has made it bearable.
Go with what feels right for you and know your heart is big enough to handle the loss of your beloved Chi and embracing a new pup whenever that happens.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

Thank you ❤ I feel a little less bad about thinking of another so soon. -sigh- this girl might make me need therapy for the first time in my life. I just can’t seem to go about my day. I barely leave the bed, eating is difficult, I’ve gotten no work done.


----------



## SMcN (Feb 12, 2021)

Verachi said:


> Thank you ❤ I feel a little less bad about thinking of another so soon. -sigh- this girl might make me need therapy for the first time in my life. I just can’t seem to go about my day. I barely leave the bed, eating is difficult, I’ve gotten no work done.


Depression is a self-perpetuating sink hole. When one of our clients lost her husband and I asked how she was doing, she said the nurse at the hospice said to "get out of bed, put both feet on the floor, take a shower/bath, get dressed and get going". It works. It may not be easy, but it works. 
Sitting down, staying in bed, gives your mind way too much time to fall into that sink hole. Get outside (if you can), take walks, work in the garden, whatever even remotely sounds possible. You will still grieve. I have had tears running down my face during walks and in the garden. But they were cleansing. I always ended up focusing on a happy memory with all our beloved dogs we have lost and thanking God for the time we had together.
Good luck to you. Take care of yourself. And stay on the forum for the support from friends who have been in your shoes.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

You are absolutely right. I know sitting in bed all day feeling sorry for myself isn’t doing me any good. I need to get out of this house for a bit. Thank you, sometimes I need to just have someone tell me straightforward how it is. Hearing it from someone who knows the love and pain of a good dog… even better.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

I have told this story before (even recently on this forum unfortunately) but I had the choice of when to put my last girl down as she wasn't going to do well into Winter. So I had my vet come to the house after we'd had our morning walk in her favorite places and put her peacefully to sleep in the woods. I buried her there in the shade where I can still pass by her several times/day. Bawled my eyes out while I was doing it....but picked up Harley out of a bad situation that afternoon I had arranged a few weeks earlier. That new little life needed me immediately and helped heal the hole in my heart....I find it very difficult to have a home without a dog in it.

Best to you.


----------



## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

After each loss, the only thing that helped was looking for another, and bringing him home ASAP. 
I got Rolf preemptively, as a matter of fact. I don’t think I can cope when it finally happens, if I don’t have a GSD at home.

My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry.


----------



## Saphire (Apr 1, 2005)

I’m so sorry 💔 It is **** and back grieving their loss.


----------



## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

I’m so sorry for your loss. Such a sad week here.


----------



## Verachi (Mar 22, 2021)

spent most of the day out and about. It really did help a lot. But coming home and seeing she wasn’t there was killer. I actually got some work done today so there’s that! Shortly after getting home, got the call her ashes are ready to be picked up so will be going back out in a little bit. I would love to have a place to bury her but not a homeowner and I move around too much.

all of your stories have helped me feel less like a crappy person for thinking of another. I hope you all know just how much I appreciate it, as I’m sure retelling hurts too. Cherish every freaking moment guys, that’s all I have to say. I let work get in the way.. I yelled at her the day before all of this because of something so **** petty and I will never forgive myself.


----------



## Sunflowers (Feb 17, 2012)

You can’t feel like a crappy person.
Everyone grieves differently, and heals differently.
For some, even the thought of another dog seems somehow traitorous, as if you’re not respecting your pet that died, and are seeing him as easily replaceable.
I offer this: they are not replaceable.
Today, my 86-year-old mother told me that she almost cried, thinking about a dog she lost 15 years ago. They are individuals, you can’t replace one with another, and as I said in another post, each one leaves a little scar on your heart.
The thing is, it also leaves your heart more flexible, and you can open it to another pet, who is not a replacement, but a continuation. A tribute, if you will, to one who was so wonderful that you can’t live without another one of his kind.
We have to learn from dogs. They live in the moment. They don’t wallow, they are sad but then they move on.
If what you need is another dog, then that is what you must have. And to tell you the truth, there are so many dogs waiting for love, that it is almost a shame not to open your home to one who’s waiting, just for you.


----------



## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

Verachi said:


> spent most of the day out and about. It really did help a lot. But coming home and seeing she wasn’t there was killer. I actually got some work done today so there’s that! Shortly after getting home, got the call her ashes are ready to be picked up so will be going back out in a little bit. I would love to have a place to bury her but not a homeowner and I move around too much.
> 
> all of your stories have helped me feel less like a crappy person for thinking of another. I hope you all know just how much I appreciate it, as I’m sure retelling hurts too. Cherish every freaking moment guys, that’s all I have to say. I let work get in the way.. I yelled at her the day before all of this because of something so **** petty and I will never forgive myself.


1/ Consider spreading her ashes in her favorite spot. The wind will carry her to you wherever you are.
2/ Get another whenever you're ready, zero judgement
3/ Forgive yourself, you gave her a beautiful life


----------



## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's awful.

Guilt is sometimes one of the emotions that runs with grief -- very normal, and most of us have been through that stage of grieving. Try to let that go, though, and be gentle with yourself. Self-forgiveness is a big part of moving through this.

I think of the "next dog" from the perspective of the one that passed: they would never want for me to be sad and alone. They would be worried and disappointed on the other side if the sum of their time here meant sadness for me. Getting stuck in grief does not honor purpose of their mission during life. I always silently ask the one who passed to help the new dog -- and they do!


----------



## Sleepsw/K9s (Jun 23, 2021)

Oh I am so sorry for your situation not only are you going to miss your sweet Chi girl but so will Vera! i have been thru this situation too many times and it's always so painful but I always know it's my job and I owe my babies this. Ive had numerous Chihuahua's that have needed assistance across the Bridge, their little bodies just don't last long enough, but I always make it special for them by having a celebration of life the day before even if it just means the two of us laying in bed listening to soothing music eating any and everything they want, we took pictures I read books and told my baby stories about all the special times we had I sang to him and I rocked him we had one last picnic together and he told his fur brothers and sisters bye and off we went it killed me but I wanted to do it just he and I So I played his favorite music and rocked him my vet had a sign on the door when I arrived that said pls be quiet and respectful someone is saying goodbye to a loved one today there were candles lit and it was calm and peaceful my boy was ready I was not, I held him tight and sang in his ear softly afterwards I wrapped him in his special blanket and I held him tight and drove to the funeral home where he'd be creamated. I couldn't leave him for strangers to take I wanted to spend every minute I could with that little body that had snuggled me so many nights. I finally arrived and had to part with his lifeless body, wishing the whole time I could just have him back for one more day one more kiss one more snuggle no more lick on my face , having his ashes home was some relief but oh how I miss Peeka five yrs later and I still miss his snoring, getting up to cook him chicken at 3am so he could take his meds, I still want him back and I always remember that the bond we have is much too strong to be broken even in death so my baby is still with me we just have to communicate differently now and I know one sweet day he will greet me at that Bridge along with the rest of my beloved pack and until then his sweet memories will bring me peace and I'll find comfort in my little visits & signs he sends me! Rest Easy Baby Mama loves you❤ i hope and pray your sweet Chi goes easy and that you get the chance to hold her and whisper in her ear how special she is. Make it a special day for her and don't doubt weather you made the right choice. She'll let you know. Big hugs and all my love to you and Vera and Chi during this most difficult time -my thoughts are with you!


----------



## Sleepsw/K9s (Jun 23, 2021)

Verachi said:


> She’s gone. I feel like I am too. This was the hardest one. I feel so sick and lost, it just doesn’t feel real. Vera keeps checking Chi’s empty bed. Thank you everyone for the support, it really means a lot knowing you all understand this pain.


*FLY HIGH WITH THE ANGELS PRECIOUS LITTLE SOUL! You are forever loved❤💕🦴❤*


----------



## Sleepsw/K9s (Jun 23, 2021)

Verachi said:


> Man, now I remember why I almost never cry. The throbbing headache as a result is unbearable. Is it weird that I already feel like I want to get another? I thought for sure I wouldn’t even be able to _think _about getting another dog after her, let alone have thoughts so soon. Yet, the thought feels nice


It's ok and she'd want you to give another dog a loving home. It would be awesome to rescue a little one in need in her honor. The shelters and rescues are so packed! Rescue Me or the local shelter are all great places to look. Dog what feels good to you, there is no right or wrong! Healing energy sent your way!


----------

