# I keep losing my temper at my dog



## Kaimeju

I adopted my GSD, Gypsy, in April. She's four years old and didn't have any training when she came home with us, and I've been working really hard on her. We've come a long way and tried all different kinds of things (including a behaviorist). She is generally very obedient now and is making a lot of progress with her leash reactivity. But lately I've been losing my temper at her. It started out in increments but now it's almost on a daily basis that I feel anger. I don't get mad at her for being poorly socialized and inappropriately protective- that's not her fault and we can work on it. It's the little things that have been driving me crazy and making me act like much less of a person than I want to be.

1. Sniffing on walks. This shouldn't be a big deal, but I just can't stand it when I tell her to heel, she will do it perfectly for six blocks, and then suddenly dart off to the side to sniff something, trying to drag me off the sidewalk. She is an obsessive marker and would mark every ten feet if I let her. I have tried teaching her to say "please" by looking at me and sitting when she wants to sniff, but it's not working. She will just randomly blow me off and become seemingly deaf, forgetting her manners.

2. Coming into the bedroom. She has known since day one that she is not allowed in the bedroom. But it makes her cry when I shut her out, so I usually leave the door open when I'm getting ready in the morning and have her sit by the threshold. She was sort of getting this, but lately she's been lifting her lip and barking at me when I tell her to sit. I've done exercises with the clicker to try to get her to be comfortable waiting for me at the door, and she is perfect when we're training. I try to make it realistic by walking into the closet, sitting on the bed, and picking up various objects. But when it comes time for the "real deal" none of this matters to her. 

I'm so frustrated because I know she's trying to be a good dog and I'm just not getting through to her. It's created a bad climate where I think she knows I'm mad at her but doesn't know why. She has a very submissive temperament and when I actually have her attention, she will lie down and roll over on a moment's notice. I like the _idea_ of a positive, respect and trust-based relationship with my dog where training is fun, but right now I feel like we're spiraling towards the opposite. I'm well aware that I appear inconsistent and unpredictable to her. It's probably not much fun to pay attention to me when I am not in a good mood. I just don't know how to stop. I've never had this problem with losing patience with my animals before.


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## Sunflowers

She has not had any training, and she is four.
You have had her for four months. You think you are expecting too much, too soon?

Success in training depends completely on you and your attitude. You get out of a dog exactly what you put into that dog. 

You do know how to stop. 
You take a deep breath, walk away from the dog, and compose yourself. Because if you give her bad vibes, they will be reflected right back at you.


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## Merciel

Six straight blocks of heeling is a _lot_. For just four months' work with no prior training and a four-year-old dog who's doubtlessly had plenty of time to develop other habits, it's probably too much to ask. I don't know any dog who would have been able to do that.

I do think your expectations are probably over-ambitious for the dog you have and the time you've had her. Relax. Scale back a little. You'll get there eventually, and in the meantime, focus on the things you _enjoy_ about your dog. What is fun with her? What are the moments you love? If you lost her tomorrow, what would you regret not having done today?


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## NTexFoster

I'm probably the worst role model here for this type of stuff so take this with a mountain of salt:

the sniffing...I'm insanely busy. I stand here in front of my computers for 10 to 12 hours a day. My dogs patiently wait on me to free up so we can play a little. When I can I'll take them on a walk (I'm trying hard to get them out at least twice day). If they want to sniff and hose down mail boxes great. I can wait.

bedroom - my dogs sleep on the bed and my new deodorant is puppy slobber. Kaiser won't let me make a head call without him providing over watch.

I fully expect to take a full year to get Kaiser to where I'd like him to be and I'm pretty sure the more experienced people here would say that's a fairly quick time for 7 month old puppy. Your puppy is a tad older so you won't deal with some of the maturing stuff, but I suspect you still have several more months of bonding and learning to go.

Be patient. The stuff you're describing are annoying things, but step back and look at the bigger picture. You have what sounds like a great dog who is learning. Give her and yourself more time. She'll figure out your routine and mold herself in to it.

In the meantime: I hear plaid hides dog hair well.


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## kjdreyer

I definitely agree with the previous posts, it sounds like both of you are doing really well. But maybe there are some tools to help these areas that are making you crazy. I use a harness with the clip at the chest when we're training or leash walking, and that has really stopped Jedda pulling. (We are still learning to heel.) And perhaps a walk-through gate on your bedroom door would help - she could see you, you could keep her out, no struggle! I'm not saying give up on training your dog to act the way you expect, but if there are ways to get what you want without wanting to skin the dog, why not take advantage? That way you can let go of the frustration, and keep happily and calmly training to get the behavior you want. Good luck!

Amazon.com: Premier Easy Walk Pet Harness, Medium/Large, Black/Silver: Pet Supplies

Amazon.com: North States Supergate Easy Close Metal Gate, White: Baby


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## a_dugas6

We have the extra tall walk through gates everywhere, THEY are great! Like kjdreyer said, Anya can still see me but I can confine her at anytime without having to lock her in a kennel. She sits by the gate while I'm cooking dinner and watches me. I have taught Anya what the word "bathroom" means, to an extent. I also work from home at my computer all day, when I go to the bathroom, EVERYTIME, I make it a point to put my hand on my belly and say "I'm going to the bathroom", she no longer panics when I shut the bathroom, she doesn't even follow me anymore, as long as I say those words, or maybe it's my hand on my belly, either way she gets it. She waits calmly by my desk for my return. FYI - she also seems to know that if I am holding my coffee cup, I will be right back, she no longer feels the need to watch me make my coffee.


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## kiya

Why not try a "fun walk" and heel for shorter distances with reward for heeling. As long as my dogs aren't pulling I'm happy. There are certain places I do allow sniffing, it's what dog do.
As far as the bedroom that's your preference, but take it as a good thing that your dog obviously wants to be with you. Try a baby gate so she still can see you.


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## GSDAlphaMom

I haven't read the responses so this may be a duplicate. I do not make my dogs 'heel' on a walk. They walk loose leash (no pulling) and can do what they want, it is for their enjoyment as much as mine. They are very well behaved. All their 'heeling' is done in training and class but not on a general walk.

The bedroom- GSD's want to be with their people. Have you not had a gsd before? Does she bother you when you are getting ready? Mine just lay down, the only want to be where I am. If it's a big deal, put a doggie gate up so she can see you.


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## kelseycub

I usually like to let my girls walk freely, as long as theyve earned it with a good walk prior. I'll walk so far with them, and then I give them the okay and some slack to explore and sniff and be dogs. 

I'll play focus games with them with their freedom to decide if they want to be around me, trying to reinforce that as much as possible. I have a dog who does really bad with focusing on walks and is very shy and terrified of traffic and most other dogs who she doesnt already know, so this is really helpful for her.

Some treats and an easy game helps build their confidence as well as exploring. Thats one things my dogs lack, confidence. Sometimes I feel like when I get mad at them, Im working against building their confidence. Sometimes I just want them to be comfortable more then behaving perfecting and following direction.

Most of this probably isnt relevant to you, but may help in someway. 


It seems like shes trained wonderfully, maybe you should give her a break. My boyfriend gets really mad and harsh with our girls, because they dont listen to his as well as they do me. I try to tell him that getting angry and raising your voice will not make them want to listen to you, and to be happy and energetic and always carry treats. I say the same to you.


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## MadLab

Imagine one of your teachers or your boss always getting frustrated with you. Would you like to learn in that environment?



> I've been working really hard on her.


So give yourself and the dog a break. Accept the dog as she is. You simply can't force something to change. You can provide an environment for the dog to change but the actual change is up to her.


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## Gharrissc

You've already received some good advice here, but I really wanted to echo watching your own feelings. I don't train at all when I am feeling annoyed, even if it has nothing to do with the dogs. My Shepherd is very perceptive and even if I have an 'annoyed thought' you can see the difference in her and she shuts down. You should be proud to have a dog that will heel for 6 blocks, maybe try giving her break to sniff along the way but when you choose.


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## MadLab

> 1. Sniffing on walks. This shouldn't be a big deal, but I just can't stand it when I tell her to heel, she will do it perfectly for six blocks, and then suddenly dart off to the side to sniff something,


You need a free command. Let the dog do her business every block or 2 and then ask for the heel in between. Often when you give the dog freedom on your terms then it will give you the behavior you want.

Also you may want to teach the dog some tracking as it is showing you what it wants to do.



> 2. Coming into the bedroom. She has known since day one that she is not allowed in the bedroom. But it makes her cry when I shut her out, so I usually leave the door open when I'm getting ready in the morning and have her sit by the threshold. She was sort of getting this, but lately she's been lifting her lip and barking at me when I tell her to sit.


I wouldn't let a dog sit at the boundary. Either let her in and instruct her to lie on a blanket or put her in another room and instruct her to go into her bed. Don't run out doors and close them quickly behind you. Put the dog into position. Wait for the dog to accept the position and then go.

She may give a huff or a sigh in her bed but that is a sign she is accepting the place although she is not overly impressed. Over time with consistency she will get more used to it. Many people will feel sorry for the dog. You can if you want, I wouldn't. 

I've noticed when my dogs understand me they blink at me. When I'm leaving I say stay and use an open hand as a signal and wait until they show some sign and then go and don't look back.

If a dog is crying in another room walk in there and ignore the dog, pretend your doing something and go out again. The dog begins to realize your life doesn't rotate around it.


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## Gretchen

Sounds like the issues are with you and not with the dog.
Being controlling and a perfectionist is only going to make you frustrated.
I like _*NTexFoster's*_ perspective.
Think about this ,"sometimes its the imperfections that are most endearing".
Don't be so hard on yourself or your dog.


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## Jax08

6 blocks is an incredibly long time to hold position. Why not give a command to "sniff"? That way you can stop when you want, let her sniff to relieve some of that tension, and then move on with your walk


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## Harbud

Since I got my Ozzy I have also had this same issue. I have had to step back and realize that it is not my dog, it is me and my impatience. 
Sounds like your GSD may need a little more support and a little more flexibility. 
A few have suggested loose leash instead of heel, I have to agree. Heeling is a very formal behaviour and not entirely enjoyable for walks. Cues that indicate she is allowed to sniff/pee are also wonderful suggestions.
As for the bedroom, your house rules are certainly not up for discussion and if you do not want her in there that is a-ok. However maybe try rewarding her when she stays out as opposed to getting upset when she disobeys or gets anxious ad comes in. Toss her a few treats occasionally while she is in her 'stay' spot.
So far my experience has taught me that we often focus on the stuff we dislike instead of acknowledging & rewarding the behaviours we want to keep. Look for opportunities no matter how small to let her know what you like for her to do and don't try and train when you are in a hurry.
Hang in, they are worth it!!


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## VTGirlT

1.) Have you tried, "Let's go?" Dogs will be dogs, they smell things, thats what they do  Maybe if you let him sniff and then when your ready you will say, "lets go." And you will continue walking. 
This way you both can stay happy.  Smelling on walks is good for them, good stimulation. 

2.) What if you were to get a dog bed, mat or even a fleece and train him to go there when he's in your bed room. It's his "place." You can leave fun things on the bed for him to do while your getting ready in the AM like kongs, bones, antlers, etc.


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## TwoBigEars

In addition to what the others have said, I feel you on losing your temper with your dog. One of my dogs (Ryker) is extremely frustrating and I get upset with him when he continually does things that drive me crazy. Basically, I just have to force myself to walk away and ignore him for a while. It's hard to do when you're wired up and frustrated, but that is what you have to do. If you're on a walk and can't just put your dog away and ignore her, then stop for a few minutes. Just stand there or find a bench to sit on for a while and calm down. It's hard to do at first, but the more you force yourself to do it, the easier it will become to just remove yourself from the situation without overreacting.

You said she is lifting her lip and barking at you when you keep her out of the bedroom. I'd be wary and nip this behavior in the bud. I think a gate/barricade is a great suggestion and an easy way to manage the situation because she's forced to stay out without you having to keep an eye on her and her "talking back" about it as she is. Use the gate for a while, then work on fading it out if you want. 

Like the others said, she's four years old with no prior training and you've only had her for a few months. It's going to be harder to teach an adult dog who has years of bad habits and no boundaries. You're going to have to pick your battles for now.


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## JackandMattie

I was going through something similar not too long ago, expecting too much too soon from both my younger dog and myself in our training. I was so frustrated and it seemed like a _really_ big deal.

Then my senior dog died. That was devastating, and really put things into perspective. 

My advice is to stop and smell the roses, and let your dog smell them, too... or whatever it is she prefers to sniff


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## Lilie

I have a dog that I am training to track. I use a flat collar when he is allowed to pull on the leash, and a chain when he is not allowed to pull on the leash. This has helped him read through any mixed signals I may be providing. 

Also - have you thought about placing a marker at your bedroom threshold to give your dog a clear location where it is not to cross? Reward your dog EVERY time it waits on that marker. Give it a bully stick, or something that will take a bit of time for it to eat. You won't have to do this forever - but while you are building a foundation for you to build trust between you and your dog, it's a good place to start.


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## cliffson1

The issues are not with her....so not sure what you want to hear. You have identified shortcomings on your part and given us examples. The best advice is going to be changing your behavior, moods, expectations as others have suggested....you think you're frustrated....lol, I' m sure you dog hopes we get through to you. Good luck and retread some of the better posts.


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## Cassidy's Mom

Kaimeju said:


> 2. Coming into the bedroom. She has known since day one that she is not allowed in the bedroom.


Not much time right now, but I had to respond to this. How could she possibly know on her very first day with you that she's not allowed in certain rooms? It's totally unrealistic to expect that a brand new dog fully "knows" _anything_ in just one day! If it's that important to you that she stay out of the bedroom, get a baby gate or some other barrier.



> I'm so frustrated because I know she's trying to be a good dog and I'm just not getting through to her. *It's created a bad climate where I think she knows I'm mad at her but doesn't know why.*


Exactly. She's not meeting your expectations because your expectations are not realistic. That's your fault, not hers, so please don't be mad at her. As you're already seeing, your anger and frustration is affecting your relationship with her, so yeah - you're working against having a trusting and respectful relationship, not towards one.


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## Kaimeju

Some good ideas in here... I want to clarify that I don't think this is my dog's fault at all. I have just hit a road block where I don't know how to react to certain situations. So, if that wasn't clear in my original post, there it is. 

With walking, I really would like to let her just walk on a loose leash rather than heeling, but I have never been able to teach her not to pull me off the path. In my perfect world, I don't have to constantly supervise her and be hypervigilant about her tendency to become obsessed with sniffing particular things. It always goes like this: she walks nicely for a while, then wants to smell something and tries to drag me over to it. I stand still. She keeps pulling, then finally sits. I praise her and let her go sniff it. Rinse and repeat. So, in my mind this is just rewarding her for pulling but in an indirect way. I want to give her a way to communicate to me that she wants to check something out _without _pulling so we can walk over to it _together_. How do you do this? I'll definitely go back to offering treats for "let's go" if that would help.

The bedroom thing wasn't even a rule I made up, so it's not any fun for me to enforce. I might suggest a baby gate and try keeping some treats by the door so she starts associating me going into the bedroom with good things. It's definitely become this stupid game we play and I don't think either of us really believes it's worth fighting over. (Re: Cassidy's Mom, what I meant was that she's never been allowed to go in there. It definitely wasn't something she understood in the abstract, but we did not allow her to rehearse the behavior. I guess this doesn't matter because she is a dog and a door is arbitrary to her.)

I guess I feel like I must be doing something wrong when she doesn't listen to me, and that makes me angry at myself which makes me angry at her. But I will try what you all have suggested for sure.


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## Blitzkrieg1

Its not unreasonable to expect a heel while on a walk for as long as you feel necessary imo. I always put a prong on any new dog over the age of 6 months and train the heel right off the bat. Heel for most of the walk with bathroom breaks and whatever you want to do breaks here and there then back to heel. The dog doesnt ask you for a break, you decide when they occur. If your consistent in your expectations and handeling I fail to see how this cant be achieved in a session or two.

As for the bedroom nonsense can you say NILF and Crate? 

Living with a dog should be easy, its up to you to create the final picture that you want to achieve. 4 months is way too long for the type of stuff your mentioning to still be happening imo.


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## JackandMattie

I had to _train_ mine on loose leash walking...I don't think it actually means letting them walk wherever they choose. He still has to follow me, he just doesn't have to be in perfect position for a heel. I spent a few hours in an open field (broken up in smaller sessions), walking and turning randomly with no goal of getting anywhere in mind. Every time he put a little tension on the leash, I made a quick turn the opposite direction and sped up so he had to follow me to release the tension on the leash. Not jerking the dog around cruelly or anything like that, but enough to keep him on his toes and focused on following me. Now he knows that he can walk relaxed at my side, but he doesn't get to decide where we are going. If he puts the slightest strain on the lead, we will reverse course, no ifs, ands or buts about it. To the average dog owner it probably looks like he's heeling. To an IPO trainer it probably looks like we need work, lol


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## kelseycub

Kaimeju said:


> It always goes like this: she walks nicely for a while, then wants to smell something and tries to drag me over to it. I stand still. She keeps pulling, then finally sits. I praise her and let her go sniff it. Rinse and repeat. So, in my mind this is just rewarding her for pulling but in an indirect way. I want to give her a way to communicate to me that she wants to check something out _without _pulling so we can walk over to it _together_. How do you do this? I'll definitely go back to offering treats for "let's go" if that would help.


Well, it seems like shes half way there. I would try a stern NO whenever she pulls, or whatever she knows best, my dogs get an EH EH EH as they get too far ahead or pull, I know others use EASY. Then call her next to you (assuming she ran away), have her sit. I feel as if that would reinforce that you want her to sit next to you for permission. 

I would use whatever release command she knows. 
Like when you tell her to stay and then set her free, or waiting to eat or something. My dogs get an OK! whenever they are allowed to do something, and we use it for all sorts of things.


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## GSDAlphaMom

When she pulls just make a 180 and go the opposite direction. She pulls again repeat. You may just go in circles for a while but she will eventually get it.


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## NTexFoster

@Kaimeju - bashing yourself isn't really productive either. Doing that can setup some bad anchors in you that create a vicious cycle. None of this is a big deal. What's the worst outcome here?

Something I should have mentioned originally that I'm still learning: Set things up so you guys can't fail. In some cases using tools like a different harness (made a bid difference for Kaiser and I), crates, baby gates, whatever. There is also your behavior. If she is whining and making a fuss outside your room because you have her blocked out: take it as a complement, she wants to be with you, but do not respond to her. Just go about your business. *When you're all done* give her some attention like it's no big deal and continue on with your day. By responding before you are finished you're telling her she can control you. That obviously is not what you're after.


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## pyratemom

You have gotten some really good suggestions on the walk problem. I would suggest you teach the "place" or "Platz" command for the bedroom. All you need is a mat or special rug that is specifically the dog's rug. Work on first getting the dog to at least step on the mat, then click and treat. Later as you work on it, two feet on the mat then click and treat. Eventually you will be able to say "Place" and the dog will automatically go to the mat and lay down comfortably because it knows good things happen on the mat. It may take a little while but most GSD's get it pretty fast. As the dog went 4 years without much if any training I would go slow like training a puppy. Your dog will probably pick it up faster than a little puppy but starting at the beginning is a good place. I do parts of our walks at a heel if I am someplace that warrants that, and other parts of the walk with a loose leash where she can sniff. She does not have control and I do not let her drag me off but she is free to sniff and knows when she gets to the end of the leash not to pull further. This all takes practice, practice, practice in many different locations. Anger travels down the leash so when you feel yourself getting frustrated end the session. Try to always end the session on a positive note, like having the dog sit or down and then praise and end the session.


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## Merciel

Kaimeju said:


> It always goes like this: she walks nicely for a while, then wants to smell something and tries to drag me over to it. I stand still. She keeps pulling, then finally sits. I praise her and let her go sniff it. Rinse and repeat. So, in my mind this is just rewarding her for pulling but in an indirect way. I want to give her a way to communicate to me that she wants to check something out _without _pulling so we can walk over to it _together_. How do you do this?


You can do it exactly the way you've been doing it, just be aware that it will take longer than I think you've been expecting. That's pretty much what I did with Crookytail and pigeons (he wants to chase them, therefore he pulls toward them; I stopped moving, he sat, I gave him an "Okay!" and then we chased the pigeons together). He now defaults to a Sit when he spots pigeons (often before I do), but it took a lot longer than four months to get there.

It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. There were _tons_ of times in the course of Pongu's rehab that I was totally convinced I had to be doing something "wrong" for it to be taking as long as it was. I wasn't. It just takes thousands of repetitions and "teachable moments" for behavioral patterns to sink in and become solidly set, particularly if you are working against the dog's natural inclinations and/or long-established habits. And if you have a dog with Special Issues, which you kinda do, then expect that it will take longer than it does for a "normal" dog.

However, if you do want it to move a little faster, one thing you can try is to respond to pulling by backing up and imposing "penalty yards," then moving gradually forward toward the desired sniff spot only as long as the leash stays loose. Since you know where Gypsy wants to go, you can use the opportunity to sniff there as a reward.

If the spots are consistent (if there's one particularly hard-used tree that she always stops at, or whatever), then you don't need to wait for her to pull; you know she will want to stop there, and you can ask for whatever signal you DO want in advance, then approach as long as the leash stays loose and back up again if it goes taut.

If the spots are not consistent then you're going to have to be extremely attuned to the small signals she gives before pulling (that first forward ear tilt of interest or momentary head turn, whatever it is she does), and AT THAT MOMENT interrupt and ask for the signal you want, then Premack it and reward by moving forward as described above. If you fail to spot the signal and she pulls before you react, oops, back up and try it again.

Either way, when you are in one of those moments of not-listening, view it as a teachable moment, and an opportunity to get in one of fifty bazillion or so repetitions it will take for the response to become automatic. When you do get the response you want, JACKPOT. I always try to carry treats so I can jackpot when my dogs spontaneously do something I like. You have to be really really clear, in whatever way works for Gypsy, that she did a Very Good Thing and you're proud of her and happy and you love her and she should definitely, _definitely_ do that again.

If the pulling incidents are becoming less frequent or shorter, then you're on the right track. You can keep doing what you're doing or you can attempt to adjust it to increase the rate of improvement.

If the incidents are becoming more frequent or it's taking longer for Gypsy to respond, then (a) it could be an aberration on a particularly bad day (this happens, just like you'll have higher weigh-ins on some days while dieting -- doesn't mean the diet's not working over the long term, just means there's a temporary fluctuation; same deal with dog training); OR (b) it could be an indication that you might want to adjust your approach.

But if you're seeing progress, and it's just slower-than-you-want progress, _relax_. Take it for what it is. Teaching and development takes time, and there's much to be enjoyed in that journey (if you can step back, breathe, and let yourself enjoy it).

I know it's really frustrating now (boy, do I ever know), but if you leaven your persistence with a little humor and acceptance of the fact (and it IS a fact) that there'll always be imperfections in our lives with dogs, it truly does get better.


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## Cassidy's Mom

Kaimeju said:


> 1. Sniffing on walks. This shouldn't be a big deal, but I just can't stand it when I tell her to heel, she will do it perfectly for six blocks, and then suddenly dart off to the side to sniff something, trying to drag me off the sidewalk. She is an obsessive marker and would mark every ten feet if I let her. I have tried teaching her to say "please" by looking at me and sitting when she wants to sniff, but it's not working. She will just randomly blow me off and become seemingly deaf, forgetting her manners.


Staying in heel position and ignoring all the wonderful and interesting sights, sounds, and smells out in the big wide world sounds pretty simple to us, but it's really asking a lot of a dog, which is why it can take a long time to train. Patience and repetition (reinforcing the correct behavior) is your friend. When I was training Halo to walk nicely on leash I pretty much abandoned the idea of "going for a walk" - it was all about the training, and not so much about actually getting anywhere. And sometimes we didn't get very far at all, such as the first time I tried taking her to a regional park about a mile from my house, once she was at the point where I needed a slightly more distracting environment to work with her because she'd mastered everything I'd tossed at her up to that point. Well, when it took over 20 minutes to walk the half block from the car to the park entrance it was clear that this environment was a bit more than SLIGHLY more distracting, lol. :wild: 

But I persisted, backing up when she lunged forward, or turning around and walking in the opposite direction, or stopping suddenly and waiting for her attention again before continuing. Back and forth, back and forth we went, over the same ground, over and over and over again. Was it frustrating? You bet! But I made sure that I never let her practice bad behavior, I made sure that pulling NEVER got her where she wanted to go. I rarely use the heel command, but I do have criteria for a loose leash walk that I enforce fairly strictly, and we only progressed when I was seeing what I wanted.

I like what you're doing with regards to saying please, I do something similar when my dogs are clearly interested in something over there and want to sniff it. I make sure to stop short so they can't actually get to it, and I wait. Eventually they'll stop staring and pulling, and turn around to look at me. Since I've done a lot of work with default behaviors like sit and down (and also focus), I don't usually need to ask for a sit, if I just stand there and do nothing they'll do it on their own. Once the leash is slack, the dog is sitting, and I have their attention, I release to "go sniff". This is basically the Premack Principle, which means that the reward for doing what *I* want is that the dog gets to do what s/he wants. Rather than fighting with them over it, rather than getting upset that they're not staying in position, I give them permission to do what they want, I put it on cue. And the more I do this, the easier it is to get them to walk nicely with me because they know that the path to getting what they want is to do what I want. If every time they pulled towards something interesting I yanked them back, said "leave it" or whatever, and just kept going, without respecting that this walk is supposed to be fun for them too, I would be increasing the conflict. 

I do the "penalty yards" that Merciel describes, and find it to be very effective. You can set up situations to work on this too, by baiting an area ahead of you, either in the house, in your yard, or on the sidewalk in front of your house, with something she likes, either a bowl with some treats in it, or a favorite toy. As you walk towards it she needs to keep a loose leash. If she pulls, that's when you'd do the penalty yards. When the leash is slack, you move forward again. Stop when you're far enough away that she can't actually help herself to the bait, but if you can get her to sit and look at you you can pick up the toy and give it to her, or grab some treats out of the bowl and feed her. You're showing her that yes, she CAN have that thing over there that she wants, but she she can't just lunge towards it and grab it, she has to follow the rules and wait politely for you to give it to her, she has to control her impulses.



Kaimeju said:


> With walking, I really would like to let her just walk on a loose leash rather than heeling, but I have never been able to teach her not to pull me off the path. In my perfect world, I don't have to constantly supervise her and be hypervigilant about her tendency to become obsessed with sniffing particular things. It always goes like this: she walks nicely for a while, then wants to smell something and tries to drag me over to it. I stand still. She keeps pulling, then finally sits. I praise her and let her go sniff it. Rinse and repeat. So, in my mind this is just rewarding her for pulling but in an indirect way. I want to give her a way to communicate to me that she wants to check something out _without _pulling so we can walk over to it _together_. How do you do this? I'll definitely go back to offering treats for "let's go" if that would help.


I don't think this is rewarding her for pulling, unless you're praising and letting her go sniff it while she's actually pulling. But you're not doing that are you? You're waiting for her to STOP pulling first? The way my dogs usually communicate that they're interested in something is to start pulling towards it to try and check it out. I figure if we're walking along and they're NOT reacting in any special way to anything that the environment is only mildly interesting, so I don't find it to be a big deal if they sometimes want to pull towards a bush next to the trail or a spot on the path that might be food (or puke, or pee, or poop residue, lol). This might be one of those things that just requires an attitude adjustment on your part - you can simply decide that it's okay if she walks nicely most of the time, but occasionally finds something intensely interesting and wants to investigate further. As long as you are consistent about your rule structure in those situations, it shouldn't be a big deal.



> The bedroom thing wasn't even a rule I made up, so it's not any fun for me to enforce. I might suggest a baby gate and try keeping some treats by the door so she starts associating me going into the bedroom with good things.


Ah, I'm guessing you live with your parents and they don't want her in the bedrooms, or maybe it's your spouse? (Sorry, not sure how old you are or what your circumstances are.) Boundary training is certainly possible, but can take some time. You can also train her to wait at thresholds until released to walk through, and then you can generalize that to a variety of doorways. What do you do when she tries to come into the bedroom? Do you consistently reward her for NOT coming in? Have you spent time training the doorway as a boundary, rather than just making her go back out every time she tries to follow you into the room?


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## selzer

The toughest part of training a dog is disciplining ourselves so that we do not over-react when our dog disappoints us. We need to have reasonable expectations, and mark our dog's progress. 

I think that it is awesome that you are recognizing that your behavior toward your dog is making things worse with her. She sounds like a soft girl, and she sounds like one who wants to do the right thing. The only thing I can suggest is not to train at all when you are in a bad mood, and what I do on walks is, I heel across streets, the rest of the time, as long as the leash is loose, I let them sniff and force or lag, doesn't matter. A walk is for exercise and mental stimulation for the dog, it does not have to be a constant training exercise.


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## atourya

You already seem to recognize that the frustration has more to do with you than the dog. The reality is that you might need to find a way to distance yourself from the dog when you are frustrated so as to not send mixed signals.

Also, maybe you need to increase the reward and punishment system. If she is being vocally defiant, immediately take away some freedoms... kick her out of the hallway. if she barks again, put her in the garage or in the backyard. If you can make the threshold into a privilege, then there might be less of a struggle.


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## Guzzo

Kaimeju said:


> I adopted my GSD, Gypsy, in April. She's four years old and didn't have any training when she came home with us, and I've been working really hard on her. We've come a long way and tried all different kinds of things (including a behaviorist). She is generally very obedient now and is making a lot of progress with her leash reactivity. But lately I've been losing my temper at her. It started out in increments but now it's almost on a daily basis that I feel anger. I don't get mad at her for being poorly socialized and inappropriately protective- that's not her fault and we can work on it. It's the little things that have been driving me crazy and making me act like much less of a person than I want to be.
> 
> 1. Sniffing on walks. This shouldn't be a big deal, but I just can't stand it when I tell her to heel, she will do it perfectly for six blocks, and then suddenly dart off to the side to sniff something, trying to drag me off the sidewalk. She is an obsessive marker and would mark every ten feet if I let her. I have tried teaching her to say "please" by looking at me and sitting when she wants to sniff, but it's not working. She will just randomly blow me off and become seemingly deaf, forgetting her manners.
> 
> 2. Coming into the bedroom. She has known since day one that she is not allowed in the bedroom. But it makes her cry when I shut her out, so I usually leave the door open when I'm getting ready in the morning and have her sit by the threshold. She was sort of getting this, but lately she's been lifting her lip and barking at me when I tell her to sit. I've done exercises with the clicker to try to get her to be comfortable waiting for me at the door, and she is perfect when we're training. I try to make it realistic by walking into the closet, sitting on the bed, and picking up various objects. But when it comes time for the "real deal" none of this matters to her.
> 
> I'm so frustrated because I know she's trying to be a good dog and I'm just not getting through to her. It's created a bad climate where I think she knows I'm mad at her but doesn't know why. She has a very submissive temperament and when I actually have her attention, she will lie down and roll over on a moment's notice. I like the _idea_ of a positive, respect and trust-based relationship with my dog where training is fun, but right now I feel like we're spiraling towards the opposite. I'm well aware that I appear inconsistent and unpredictable to her. It's probably not much fun to pay attention to me when I am not in a good mood. I just don't know how to stop. I've never had this problem with losing patience with my animals before.



Calm Assertive.

When you lose your control you appear Weak.

She is being dominant. Calm Assertive attitude, Show her, Her role. Dogs love to be trained. and please us
Gsd anyway


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## Cassidy's Mom

Guzzo said:


> She is being dominant.


I disagree, there is nothing in the way the OP has described the situation that sounds like this has anything whatsoever to do with dominance. To me, it sounds like she's very bonded to her owner and just wants to be with her. That's not dominance.


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## Blitzkrieg1

Cassidy's Mom said:


> I disagree, there is nothing in the way the OP has described the situation that sounds like this has anything whatsoever to do with dominance. To me, it sounds like she's very bonded to her owner and just wants to be with her. That's not dominance.


A lifted lip when corrected or told to do something is a rank issue imo.


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## Kaimeju

Blitzkrieg1 said:


> A lifted lip when corrected or told to do something is a rank issue imo.


It's not in her case. I've had many dogs "make faces" at me and I know that she's doing it because the situation is frustrating and tense, not because of rank. She is very obviously anticipating that there will be a struggle around the door and doesn't like it. I can tell her to go to her bed and lie down and she'll do that instead, but waiting at the doorway bothers her for some reason. She will also play bow at the door to diffuse the tension. I think it's less about dominance and more like a toddler who pounds the table and makes faces because they're trying really hard to sit still and don't want to.

Anyway, not an issue because I've started telling her to go to her bed and have been shutting the door, which has worked twice (fingers crossed). 

But yeah, I know many people who freak out when their dog growls or shows any teeth or makes any sort of noise other than passive whimpering. However, dog "language" is more complicated than lifted lip = dominance. I'm afraid many great dogs have been deemed aggressive or status-seeking simply because people don't understand a growl can mean multiple things.


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## Birdwatcher

*But lately I've been losing my temper at her.*



Sorry.

"Ahem"... the word I have learned to use with my dogs when I get angry is "Mothermother". To them it sounds just like that other one that sometimes slips out but that version cannot be repeated in mixed company. Anyhow, when my dogs hear that they KNOW I'm serious 

I agree with the others, six blocks at heel is forever. Are you walking yourself or the dog? I would stop frequently every block to let her check her pee mail. Remember, dogs have a sense of smell so exquisite they can even be trained to detect tumors INSIDE the human body. Just imagine the incredible amount of information you are asking her to pass up on your walks.

Strict "heel" is saved for the important times, like when passing other pedestrians or crossing the street.

*She was sort of getting this, but lately she's been lifting her lip and barking at me when I tell her to sit.*

Is she waiting in the doorway like this when you are getting ready to take her out on a walk? In wolves before the pack heads out on patrol the whole pack "high fives" each other in canine fashion; wagging tails, licking mouths, jumping at each other, playing. This is a form of bonding for the whole pack before they go out as a cooperating unit.

We humans interpret this same behavior in our dogs as excitement about going out for a walk, and I suppose in a way it is.

Is that "Sit" command in the doorway the last verbal communication to her before you pick up the leash and walk to the door? If not, could she be thinking of that "sit" as PART of the preparation for a walk?

If so, her natural inclination is going to be the canine high-five thing, here channeled to a bark.

If that isn't the case I'm guessing the dog barks because it draws some reaction from you that she wants. Attention maybe?

JMHO,
Birdwatcher


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## Kaimeju

Thanks, Birdwatcher.

I've started giving her more potty breaks that are explicit, rather than just "okay I guess I'll let you do it this time." It seems to be helping a lot to be breaking up our walks with heel, then sniff for a while, then heel again. She's started returning to position on her own. I think it's just too hard for her and I need to be using sniff breaks as a frequent reward for staying tuned in, and then correcting for tuning out because I think I was not being consistent before. The reason it is important that she listen is because we have issues with reactivity and she is 10x worse when not in heel position. She doesn't need to do it all the time, but she needs to be reliable when I ask. She is already STELLAR and so awesome, I just want communication between the two of us to be smooth and fair.

The high five thing is really interesting. I hadn't thought of that. It's true that we usually practice sit-stay as part of a game, so maybe she thinks we're supposed to be playing? She hardly ever barks. It's usually woos, moos, and howls.  


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Birdwatcher

I should 'fess up that I do not own a shepherd or ever have, currently we have three female blue heelers or mixes (also called Australian Cattle Dogs): They are a heeler/sheepdog mix (11 years, still going strong), a heeler/stumpy-tailed cattle dog mix (8 years), and a pedigree heeler (16 months).

I will say however that all are come from working parents (Texas ranches) so have working dog brains, much as do shepherds. They are energetic and easy to train. When walking one, two, or all three, on or off-leash we have a routine when encountering passing people, dogs, or people walking with dogs.

I do not usually "heel" in these situations, instead we step aside and "sit" until the other party passes. If we are walking a trail we step clear off of the trail. The dogs are accustomed to this, and if we are walking a trail off-leash and they hear someone coming they immediately return to me on their own and we all step off of the trail and they sit.

This is different from "heel" as heeling is a continuous task on their part from which they can get distracted. Sitting at heel on the other hand as we do allows them to satisfy their natural curiosity about the other party by looking and scenting the air. At the same time I have excellent control of them because I too am not walking them at heel AND greeting passers by.

Earlier this week, early in the morning at a local park I was walking two and had let them off "heel" to go an splash in a pond (they love water) when a party of twenty or so high speed mountain bikers, trainee bike patrol city Cops no less, suddenly came barreling down the trail.

Both dogs, racing each other, immediately sprinted back towards me ahead of the bikes and came immediately to sit at my side as they know to do when we encounter passers-by. 

I got admiring compliments from the passing Cops re: the dogs. 

I suspect if I hadn't been teaching them to respond to encounters by stepping off of the trail by my side that way the encounter could have been awkward for all concerned.

I'm not suggesting you necessarily walk your dog off a leash, but perhaps a ritual of stepping aside as sitting rather than "heeling" past encounters would help.

Birdwatcher


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## Birdwatcher

Birdwatcher said:


> Both dogs, racing each other, immediately sprinted back towards me ahead of the bikes and came immediately to sit at my side as they know to do when we encounter passers-by.
> 
> I got admiring compliments from the passing Cops re: the dogs.


What I meant to say was......

I got admiring compliments from the passing Cops.....

...who clearly assumed that I took that sort of performance from my dogs for granted


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