# My Mom doesn't want me to get a Male



## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

I'm very interested in adopting a male that's been available for a while (and will hopefully be available when I can get my own), but my mom doesn't want me to get a male. 

She's afraid that, because we have Aiden, that they'll fight and that my dog will kill Aiden. I can see her concerns, but I believe the one I'm interested in is about a year old - younger than Aiden. Plus Aiden is here first. Not to mention they're both neutered. Obviously every dog is different.

But my mom seems to think that no matter what, if I get a male, he's going to try to murder Aiden. And I've heard stories that females fight more viciously than the boys do, and she doesn't seem to believe me.

I want to keep my options open, because I don't want to be picky for adoption. "Oh, this one's PERFECT for our home, but my mom doesn't want a boy." I'd hate to deny a baby a home because they're the wrong gender. 

Obviously we're going to do introductions before we bring anyone home, but like I said, I don't want to turn anyone down because my mom is afraid of having two males in the house. Help me convince my mom that it'll be okay to have another boy?


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## JKlatsky (Apr 21, 2007)

I have 4 intact males in my house. Only 2 do not get along and they were both intact adults (3.5yrs and 7.5yrs) when we brought Ike home. All the males I've raised since puppies get along well. (3.5, 1.5, and 4 months). And the the older intact male gets along well with the puppy and my bitch. 

What is Aiden's personality? Does he get along with other males? If he's neutered and has a more submissive or Beta personality I can't think you'd have any trouble at all. If Aiden is more dominant you'll have to be careful to pick a boy who has a more submissive personality...and as you are looking at a rescue and the dog will be neutered chances are you won't get as much of that male/male aggression anyway.

My boys...


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## lylol (Feb 18, 2009)

I have 5 males, though all but the youngest is neutered... they have an established pack order that I help reinforce by feeding order, etc... and no problems. But it is all about your unique dogs and your oversight... cant really generalize except to say I know lots of folks who successfully do this. Not to start a war, but I have more trouble with my one bossy female than the five males and I will NOT bring another female into this environment while she is with me.


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## Samba (Apr 23, 2001)

I have to concur that it depends on the individual dogs, the pack and the owner. A bit difficult to predict, I guess.

Oh yeah, the females.... males fight for breeding rights; females fight for breathing rights.


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## Jax08 (Feb 13, 2009)

How about taking Aiden to meet the boy? I, personally, will never have two females in the house again. We have three right now. I'll always go with a male/female from now on. However, there is no reason that males would not get along just fine. We just pulled a white boy and he played just fine with the boy at the overnight stop.


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## shilorio (Mar 21, 2010)

we are getting a male next year  i think their the best <33


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## Elaine (Sep 10, 2006)

I have always had a house full of males and can't imagine ever owning a female. The important thing is to see if the two dogs get along before getting the second one.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

I have some good news - the male that I was interested in might be getting adopted this Sunday! Well, bad since *I* want him, but I'm glad he might have a home to call his own. *Dances*

But Aiden does have a dominant personality, which is why doing an introduction with him is a must. But he gets along with all of the intact males at the dog park just fine. Then again, that's all neutral ground for everyone. 
There's also a female I'm interested in at the shelter.


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## mjbgsd (Jun 29, 2004)

My two males love each other, though Cody is neutered and Akbar isn't. Akbar is one big marshmellow when it comes to other dogs.


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## GSD MOM (Apr 21, 2010)

I don't know if it's possible or not but it might also help that the rescue and Aiden meet on Aiden's territory. When we rescued Ace we had them bring him here to see how Nellie would react to another dog being in her house. It all worked out fine. As Ace matured there were some struggles in the "pack" but they worked them out. Nellie is queen and Ace the court jester.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

I've always preferred living with multiple males in the house just because I find they're easier to live with. The girls always seem to keep me on my toes, not that I don't love them any less.

From another thread it sounds like you're having a problem with dominence with your present male. I'd seriously consider getting him under control before adding another dog regardless of sex.

As some people have already mentioned, males fight and live to see tomorrow, bitches will sometimes fight to the death.

But if your male is the only dog in your household, I'd recommend getting a bitch as your second dog.


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## IllinoisNative (Feb 2, 2010)

I have two males and they ADORE each other. Now, granted, I had both as puppies, they are three years apart, and I'm a fantastic owner...lol...but temperment was really key more than the gender.

My first male, shep/rottie, is a middle of the road guy. He's not what I would call submissive but he's not really alpha. He doesn't back down from a fight but he won't start one, either. He's play motivated. If you've got a ball, he's your best friend. I also socialized him well with other dogs (dog park, fostering, etc.) and puppies. When I brought home my second male puppy (more submissive/laid back than the first - a chow/lab/aussie mix) three years later, it was effortless. They complimented each other so well. They are now 7 and 4 and they've never had a cross bark between them. It's been heaven. I can't even tell who is alpah. If one is on the couch, the other lays next to him. If one jumps off, the other jumps on. Neither fight over my attention. I feed them separately and switch off who gets fed first. They just don't care.

These are the first two males I've owned. I grew up with female dogs my whole life. I brought home my first male puppy and my dad was like, "Why the heck did you do that?" Of course, he also had four daughters. My main concern about a male was the marking. At the time, I didn't realize it was a training issue. I thought that is just what males do. When I house trained my males, they never marked in the house...ever. That dispeled the myth for me.

I just love the males. LOVE THEM. I love that they seem to be more velcroy, affectionate, laid back, um, slower...heh. I'm not sure I can go back to a female now. They are just incredibly easy to live with.


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## AbbyK9 (Oct 11, 2005)

In my opinion, it is not as much about the gender as it is about the temperament of the individual dogs. If you have one dog that you know to be dominant, try to match him up with a dog that would be a good fit - one who will let your dog be the dominant one and be happy in his position.

I have two females, Abby and Ronja. My German Shepherd, Abby, is a follower and likes to be a follower - when she does not have a clear place in which to be, that's when she is uncomfortable and acts weird around other dogs. My Malinois, Ronja, is a very dominant dog in general (nah... not a female Malinois ... never!) and with both Abby and other dogs. As Abby just likes to follow, we don't have any issues with both being female.

Makes sense?


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

arycrest said:


> From another thread it sounds like you're having a problem with dominence with your present male. I'd seriously consider getting him under control before adding another dog regardless of sex.
> As some people have already mentioned, males fight and live to see tomorrow, bitches will sometimes fight to the death.
> 
> But if your male is the only dog in your household, I'd recommend getting a bitch as your second dog.


We were having some serious issues with him and Yoda (now named Hades by his new owner). They were fighting CONSTANTLY. They're littermates, both with dominant personalities, and they couldn't straighten out over who was over who. So we decided to rehome Yoda/Hades. Now Aiden is a TOTALLY different dog. The chewing has stopped completely, he's way calmer, more loving and cuddly, hasn't bolted out the door, has been listening to every command (whereas before you could have swore he was deaf) and my mom and I both have a closer bond with him. Yoda/Hades' new owner said that he doesn't chew anything either, which was hard for us to believe. He's a totally different dog now that Yoda/Hades is gone. He's actually a JOY to have around now! 

We have a total of four dogs right now. Three of which are seniors. (12, 13, 14).


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## JacksonSF (May 28, 2010)

We have no female animals in the house. When we got Jackson as a puppy, Buford was about 6yo, and was sulking all the way home and for the next few weeks. But Buford made sure to show Jackson that there is a pack order here and he is not on the top. Buford is by no means top dog in the world, and I have never seen him start anything with any dog outside. The moment we brought Jackson home, the cat (male) took it upon himself to flip the puppy on his back every chance he got. So since day one, Jackson knew that it's Buford, Cat, then him, in that order. In fact Jackson will still submit to Buford and the cat. Actually I don't think he knows that he's 80;bs and the cat is only 10. Now of course Buford and the Cat, have a "tolerance in place" relationship. They pretend neither exists, and there by leaving each other alone.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Konotashi said:


> We were having some serious issues with him and Yoda (now named Hades by his new owner). They were fighting CONSTANTLY. They're littermates, both with dominant personalities, and they couldn't straighten out over who was over who. So we decided to rehome Yoda/Hades. Now Aiden is a TOTALLY different dog. The chewing has stopped completely, he's way calmer, more loving and cuddly, hasn't bolted out the door, has been listening to every command (whereas before you could have swore he was deaf) and my mom and I both have a closer bond with him. Yoda/Hades' new owner said that he doesn't chew anything either, which was hard for us to believe. He's a totally different dog now that Yoda/Hades is gone. He's actually a JOY to have around now!
> 
> We have a total of four dogs right now. Three of which are seniors. (12, 13, 14).


What about him peeing/hiking his leg on your family and the people at the park?


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

arycrest said:


> What about him peeing/hiking his leg on your family and the people at the park?


We're not sure how to correct that other than distract him when he starts lifting his leg. We don't know why he does it. One of my coworkers says her lab does the same thing.


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