# My family got a German Shepherd (update)



## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Hey everyone.

I asked a moderator yesterday to unlock my thread so I could post some news about the situation, but shortly after unlocking it was locked again and I didn't get a chance to post, and the moderator asked me to just make a new thread.

amctek, the user who posted saying he was the owner turned out to be really true. I called amctek (Angelo) on the phone the other night and spoke with him about the situation. He asked me if everything I posted was true, and I said it was. And now he wants to try to get the puppy back through the RSPCA. He also said he will not mention me at all.

I have a bad feeling about this though - Caesar is given food, water, and a kennel to sleep in. I can't see anything good happening at this point. The RSPCA will probably come and see that the dog is given all those basic things, and they won't take the dog. Then I'll probably get the blame.

I thought I should let you all know as I've made you all worry about the dog.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I'm glad you spoke to him (breeder), and I'm glad he'll be not mentioning your name, hope this works out.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Thank you so much for firstly updating but also for contacting Angelo. I really do hope it all works out for the best.


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## CookieTN (Sep 14, 2008)

Hope things work out for the best. And if they don't, hey, you did what you could.


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## MaggieRoseLee (Aug 17, 2001)

GOOD FOR YOU!!!! :thumbup:


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

Excellent!! Hopefully if he contacts the RSPCA and tells them the story and that he is the breeder and that the dog was sold under false pretenses (he thought the pup was going to a better home) they will help him get the puppy back. I am also glad that your name will be kept out of it. I hope it all works out!!


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I hope he can get the puppy back. I cannot imagine our humane society working with a breeder to get a puppy out of a home, things I hope are a lot different there.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Eh. I had a yelling match with my dad today about the dogs. To sum it up it was pretty much my dad telling me the dogs are just mutts/animals, they belong outside. They are HIS dogs, not mine. These were his answers when I was complaining that the dogs are not treated right. Another thing he brings up is that when I was a kid, I used to hit and abuse one of our dogs. Obviously I was bad like that as a kid, but he uses that as one of his main "points". Theres no way I can reason with him when he keeps bringing that up.

It's going to be really bad if the RSPCA shows up here. I'm going to have to organize my things because I'm probably going to have to move house.

I could really use some advice or anything at this time. I'm kinda lost in how I should react or if I'm doing the right thing here. Yeah, it could be good for the dogs. But It might just end up screwing up my life at the moment. And my young brothers are going to be upset with me for leaving them over the dogs. I hate to say that, but it's true from everyone elses point of view.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

Want some advice? Get out of that house ASAP and never come back. That's about the best advice i can give you.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

Hopefully the breeder will make up a contract after this so that if something like this ever happens again, he won't have to rely on the RSPCA to get them back. Instead he can sue, win (if what the new family is doing violates the contract they sign) and get the pup back. 

You should mention to your dad that when you hit the dogs when you were young, it was because you didn't know any better because your father didn't teach you any better. Kids learn by what their parents do and what their parents allow them to do.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

sometimes the hardest things to do are usually the best things to do. you obviously see that dogs are more than "just animals". the problem is, nobody else in your family seems to understand that. They're just something to throw out in the yard and throw some food out every now and then. Who knows.... if you walk away, they may realize how serious you are and make a change to have you back in their lives or they'll continue their outdated way of thinking. you really never know until you step out.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

Konotashi said:


> Hopefully the breeder will make up a contract after this so that if something like this ever happens again, he won't have to rely on the RSPCA to get them back. Instead he can sue, win (if what the new family is doing violates the contract they sign) and get the pup back.
> 
> *You should mention to your dad that when you hit the dogs when you were young, it was because you didn't know any better because your father didn't teach you any better. Kids learn by what their parents do and what their parents allow them to do*.


 
excellent points on both counts but especially the second point.

ETA: I agree 100% with Paul.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Lucy Dog said:


> Want some advice? Get out of that house ASAP and never come back. That's about the best advice i can give you.


I really didn't want to do this. But it looks like it's going to happen.. I wish I could just settle someplace for once. I've literally moved about 6 times in the last 3 years, it's getting tiring.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

Based on what I've read it's obvious these people are bringing you down big time. The longer you stay there, the worse it's going to get. 

It's your fathers home and as long as you live there, it's his rules. Move out and it's your rules. You treat the animals as you see fit and live your life without having to answer to negative people trying to bring you down.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

Lucy Dog said:


> Based on what I've read it's obvious these people are bringing you down big time. The longer you stay there, the worse it's going to get.
> 
> It's your fathers home and as long as you live there, it's his rules. Move out and it's your rules. You treat the animals as you see fit and live your life without having to answer to negative people trying to bring you down.


 
again agree. Ditch the negative and bring on the positive. I know its hard to seperate yourself from family (been there done that) but personally, that worked out much better for me than staying home.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Lucy Dog said:


> Based on what I've read it's obvious these people are bringing you down big time. The longer you stay there, the worse it's going to get.
> 
> It's your fathers home and as long as you live there, it's his rules. Move out and it's your rules. You treat the animals as you see fit and live your life without having to answer to negative people trying to bring you down.


This fits really well. Thanks


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

KZoppa said:


> again agree. Ditch the negative and bring on the positive. I know its hard to seperate yourself from family (been there done that) but personally, that worked out much better for me than staying home.


Yeah, leaving my brothers again is the main thing right now. Especially my little brother, who loves to be around me as much as possible. When I was away, I was only able to see him once every 2 weeks or so.


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## KZoppa (Aug 14, 2010)

Cosmicbanana said:


> Yeah, leaving my brothers again is the main thing right now. Especially my little brother, who loves to be around me as much as possible. When I was away, I was only able to see him once every 2 weeks or so.


 
that would be tough i can imagine. one thing you COULD do though is plan to see him more often AND help him learn and realize the right way to treat animals and how good of companions dogs can be. Well animals really. Be a good example for him.

I'm not close with my siblings. Reason being is i was 18 when my first baby brother was born, 20 when my second baby brother was born and 22 when my baby sister was born. I had already moved out as soon as i could after i graduated high school so i was never IN the house with them. I wasnt about to be an unpaid live in babysitter. I also have two kids of my own close in age with my siblings. I do try to be a good example for them even though i live almost 2000 miles away and see them maybe once a year.


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know you came here to get some help for the dog(s) and due to this, it is seemingly harder for you. I do agree with Paul (above) you need to somehow get yourself away from that house. Do you have a friend you could stay with perhaps until you get on your feet?

I am in QLD but if I can help somehow, or you just need someone to talk to, please pm me.


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## GSDElsa (Jul 22, 2009)

I have no idea why you are upset at the thought of leaving that house. It is very confusing. 

The only way you are going to be happy is to her our of that house and not look back.. That will make you a better sibling to your brothers by teaching by example and taking a stand that what is going in in that house is not ok.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

bianca said:


> I am so sorry you are going through this, I know you came here to get some help for the dog(s) and due to this, it is seemingly harder for you. I do agree with Paul (above) you need to somehow get yourself away from that house. Do you have a friend you could stay with perhaps until you get on your feet?
> 
> I am in QLD but if I can help somehow, or you just need someone to talk to, please pm me.


My mother has been asking me to move back to hers for a while. So there's that... but moving to my fathers ex-wife will stir a lot of trouble with him..

A big part of this is to do with our relationship. For years I've been trying to form a decent relationship with my father and it's never worked. I've changed so much over the years and a lot of it was for our relationship, yet he's made no sacrifices. Maybe I should just accept my dad for who he is and realize he will never change, and that he will never be happy with me and any of the decisions I make. The best thing would be to find my own place to live again. Ah, that was the life  Less money to spend, sure. But it was such a happier environment to live in. It was also a great feeling proving my dad wrong about me for years (he always said I had no chance in life)


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I agree with the others, and it sounds like your dad treats you no better than the animals I know it can be a money issue, but if your mom has asked you to move back with her DO IT,,that relationship if better, will be better for YOU in the long run.

Sometimes people change, sometimes they don't. You have to do whats right for YOU. It sounds like a stressful environment and no one should have to live that way.

I'd rather be broke and happy than have some money and be miserable...

So my advice is to get out as well.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Here's my advice since you asked. 

If RSCPA comes and asks to see the dogs, TELL THEM. Tell them in front of your dad that he kicked the puppy for jumping on him. Tell them that your dad allowed the puppy to fall on his back onto the concrete. Tell them the truth. The truth may set you you free in this instance. 

I will tell you what, if you stand up to your father, he will not have so much of a hold over you. And if your father kicks you out over that, your brothers have a choice. They can believe that you were disloyal to your father/family by speaking against him. They can believe that you made a choice that would probably mean that you could not live there anymore. Or, they can see that you did what you felt was right, you told the truth regardless to the consequences to you. You did not let your father's influence over you stop you from doing what you think is the right thing to do. 

Be prepared to be kicked out. Might not happen. It might. If you don't stand up for the dogs, what do your brother's see?


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

we are all born and grow up wanting our parents to love and respect us. for some parents that is not possible, and it sounds as tho your father is one of those parents. unfortunately, sometimes when that happens we (you) try harder and harder to make them change, to please them, to win their love. IMHO you need to give up on that and work at being able to stop caring what he thinks, because you will never, ever, get what you want (and deserve) from him. give it up, it's fruitless. if you have no job and no money go live with your mother and do not care how your father feels or what he thinks about it. 

i am not trying to be unkind but you are fighting a loosing battle here. it sounds like you might have begun, with your behavior, to break the cycle of abuse and negativity there at your father's house. i applaud and encourage you to keep going on that path.

i also do think it will help set a good example for your younger siblings, which, right now, is even more important than the amount of time you spend with them. truthfully tho, your family dynamics and problems are more than can be solved on an internet board. 

i feel so sorry for the dogs at that house.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Sometimes, people respect you more when you stand up to them. Sometimes relationships improve when you are not living together. Rarely is it easy for an adult child to move back in with parents, and the new girlfriend -- psuedo parent that you met as an adult -- that can go either way. 

But, the fact is that you are not happy, not comfortable, doing what you are doing, and continuing to do the same thing, hoping for a different result, is crazy. Get your shtuff together and move out. If your relationship with your father improves, that is a bonus. Living with a tyrant drags you down, and makes it harder and harder to assert yourself. Your brothers will not gain from you showing them how to be miserable under your father's roof. Your brothers may gain from you showing them how you can get out from under it all. Hoping the puppy can be helped as well.


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## robinhuerta (Apr 21, 2007)

Nurture the strength you have, to change the things that you can change.......
And nurture the strength to walk away from the things you cannot change.......


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

I'm going to be buying this for the dogs in a few days. What do you guys think of it and the price?

DOG KENNEL- LARGE XLARGE -TOP OF THE RANGE- CLASS STYLE | eBay


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

I think you should wait until you see if they're even going to have the dogs for much longer before you spend that kind of money on them. Right now you should be saving your money.


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## msvette2u (Mar 20, 2006)

Just check craigslist and see if you can't find a suitable house there. I see them all the time on ours.


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## catz (Dec 10, 2010)

Ive been following this thread along with the other one and didnt feel like I could help anymore then the lovely people giving advice but I gotta ask... Why are you planning on buying a kennel? I can understand you not wanting the dogs to go as you like them but surely buying a kennel and making everthing look ok will cause the RSPCA to leave the dogs under the care of your father. From all your other posts it seems like you want the dogs to be somewhere better so why buy stuff for them now when they are so close to escaping the terrible conditions they are under. 
Dont buy the kennel.. let the RSPCA inspector see what the dogs are currently living in. Tell them what has been going on. Do what is right for the pups. A new kennel wont stop your father treating them cruelly when the inspector leaves them behind. 
Stay strong.. you wouldnt have started the origional thread if you wanted the pup to live with you for the rest of its life. 
Dont try and improve their conditions just before the RSPCA turn up. The RSPCA are shoddy enough as it is without you giving them excuses not to remove the pup.


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## wyominggrandma (Jan 2, 2011)

I agree what catz said. You act like you want the dogs to go because of the inhumane treatment they get, but now, just when it seems the breeder of the GSD pup is stepping in to get the puppy back, you want to go out and buy a big nice doghouse for the dogs to live in???
I just don't get this whole thread... I still wonder at times if someone is playing this whole scenerio, its gets dropped, then guess what? The OP posts again to start it all up.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Number 1, those kennels are not well insulated, nor are they well constructed. Bigger and fancier is not better. The dog needs to stay warm, and a properly sized kennel -- not too big so their body heat does not help them, is what they need. A kennel costing 1/4 the price and some straw will work BETTER than this fancy hunk of garbage.

Number 2. You are a grown man living with your father and his girlfriend, in an atmosphere that you describe so that we will all pity you and offer sympathy. Do not waste money on frivolous things. That is pathetic. If living at Dad's is bad, do what you have to do to get out. If it is not bad, then stop spreading it around the internet that it is. Buying a worthless, expensive dog house is not getting you where you need to be.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

I only asked because I wanted to get them something a little better since I'm not allowed to bring the dogs in the house and I wasn't sure what is a good sized home and a good price. There's no need to over react about it, I've never provided for a dog so I am looking for advice.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

I want to wish you luck, I hope that everything works out for the best for the dogs, and most of all for you. I hope that you can find a way to move out on your own, and also not be outcasted from your family. 

I know it is easy for strangers to tell you to leave, and forget about your dad, but I also know that he is your father and you love him regardless of if he is a good person or not. Again, I wish you luck, and if you don't mind I will say a prayer for you.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Cosmicbanana said:


> I only asked because I wanted to get them something a little better since I'm not allowed to bring the dogs in the house and I wasn't sure what is a good sized home and a good price. There's no need to over react about it, I've never provided for a dog so I am looking for advice.


I bought these -- same seller, same site -- though I got mine here in the US from another company:







eBay Australia: Buy new & used fashion, electronics & home d?r

They come in a box and you put them together. I did. I was shocked at how flimsy they were. 

In less than a year I had to replace the roofs on all of them and the floors on most of them. A few are falling apart and some are pretty well chewed. I am telling you that they are garbage because they are. 

Nice and new:









with new roof and floor -- still needs to be replaced:









Actually, the cheap fiberglass WalMart barnhome (in the background) lasts longer, and insulates better.


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## Catu (Sep 6, 2007)

wow, thanks! I almost bought the same houses by the Chilean equivalent of Ebay, but when I had the money they were not on sale, so I just bought the wood and made the houses myself.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Catu said:


> wow, thanks! I almost bought the same houses by the Chilean equivalent of Ebay, but when I had the money they were not on sale, so I just bought the wood and made the houses myself.


You probably have much better houses, for less overall money.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

I hope this all works out for the best for you and the dogs.


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## KSdogowner (Jun 22, 2011)

This definitely is a very tough situation for all parties involved. Just wanted to say that I wish as you do, for an amicable outcome and the safety of the dogs. The reality is that it is impossible to please everybody in this situation....so regardless somebody will be angry, hurt, etc. so do what is right even if it costs you now. Perhaps your brothers will not understand now, but as they mature, they too will be able to see things differently (hopefully) and understand that the dogs' lives were worth the risks you took. 

As far as your dad is concerned, you can't change your dad no matter what you do. If your dad refuses to learn and accept responsibility for his negligence toward the dogs, there is nothing you can do except stir the pot. The result is more anger, more hurt for you. If you have a safe place to move into, take it. I don't think anybody expects you to be a martyr and it won't help your brothers to see you submit to your tyrannical father. --Just a thought.


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

Cosmicbanana said:


> A big part of this is to do with our relationship. For years I've been trying to form a decent relationship with my father and it's never worked. I've changed so much over the years and a lot of it was for our relationship, yet he's made no sacrifices. *Maybe I should just accept my dad for who he is and realize he will never change, and that he will never be happy with me and any of the decisions I make*.


Yep. You can't force him to change, you can't force him to respect you as a human being, and you can't force him to work on developing a better relationship with you. If you can't please him no matter what you do, why continue trying? Live your life, be who you are. He will either come around or he won't, and there's not much you can do about it either way. So please _yourself_. Be someone YOU can be proud of.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

I helped my dad clean his excavators and cars today, and when I was done after about 4 hours I went out the back to pat Asher. Caesar came up for a pat, which I did. And my brother came out just as I was doing this so he called "Caesar" and he didn't go to him, he just sat by me... then my brother went inside.

So I had a shower, then went to my room to relax. I then start hearing my brother out in the living area yelling at my father saying things like "**** YOU, IM GOING TO PUNCH HIS ****ING FACE IN" (Refering to me). I then hear my brother throwing plates against walls, throwing chairs, and breaking the family computer out there.. He really isn't happy about me patting his dog.

The good news is, he is yelling at my dad that he is tired of me spending time with his dog, and he is going to give up on it for everyone else to take care of. So at least maybe I can look after it more. Then after some more yelling he started mentioning hes going to just sell the dog, and that it was a huge waste of his time.. yeah right. I'm the one who didn't want the dog, and I'm the one out there spending time with it, not him.

Anyway, I thought you guys should know. I might even call the breeder about the RSPCA if my brother really does go through with his word about selling it. Also, if this is how he reacts to me patting the dog, I can't imagine what he'll do if the RSPCA show..


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

What is the issue that your brother has with you petting his dog? How old is your brother?


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Sorry.. but your brother is a real piece of work.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Germanshepherdlova said:


> What is the issue that your brother has with you petting his dog? How old is your brother?


He is 22 years old. And his issue is that he only wants the dog to like him. He is afraid that if I spend time with the dog it will like me more.

I told him the other day about my dad allowing the dog to fall off the balcony and also my dad hitting the dog, and he didn't seem to care. But when I pat the dog, it's a big deal.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

I guess I thought the breeder was going to come take this dog back?


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

Cosmicbanana said:


> He is 22 years old. And his issue is that he only wants the dog to like him. He is afraid that if I spend time with the dog it will like me more.
> 
> I told him the other day about my dad allowing the dog to fall off the balcony and also my dad hitting the dog, and he didn't seem to care. But when I pat the dog, it's a big deal.


I must say that he needs to grow up. Does your brother treat the dog well? If he does he shouldn't feel so insecure. As long as he is the one feeding and exercising the dog and has gained the dogs trust, then he shouldn't feel threatened by you petting him.

And that is strange, not caring if his dog is mistreated but caring about his dog loving someone more than him-if that person gives his dog attention.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Cosmicbanana said:


> I then start hearing my brother out in the living area yelling at my father saying things like "**** YOU, IM GOING TO PUNCH HIS ****ING FACE IN" (Refering to me). I then hear my brother throwing plates against walls, throwing chairs, and breaking the family computer out there.. He really isn't happy about me patting his dog.


Wow. That's all I can say! Wow! Seriously? I mean, this is totally dysfunctional. Please tell me there aren't any children in this environment.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

chelle said:


> I guess I thought the breeder was going to come take this dog back?


He told me on the weekend that he was going to try to get the RSPCA to come down here to check on the dogs. But I honestly think it wont work, the dogs are given all the basics that are required by law. The only problem is they never get walked, rarely get socialized, and they are never groomed and bathed. And those things are not illegal to ignore.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

If I was the breeder, I'd come steal it back. I would. Especially reading all this stuff.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

chelle said:


> Wow. That's all I can say! Wow! Seriously? I mean, this is totally dysfunctional. Please tell me there aren't any children in this environment.


My little brother is 12. And my brother hits and spits on him occasionally.. this only happens when nobody is home though because my little brother tells me about it.


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## robinhuerta (Apr 21, 2007)

I gotta ask......"Where on Earth do you live?"....."How old are you?"
This is some of the most bizarre family dynamics that I have heard......kinda like some "cult compound" functioning.
I really can't grasp it.......and I'm not intending my comment to be sarcastic either.


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## Kaity (Nov 18, 2009)

What I don't get is why you and your brother don't just move out! You're old enough, proven that you can already live on your own so why can't your 22 year old brother do it as well? Or at least get some kind of help for his little hissy fits!


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Germanshepherdlova said:


> I must say that he needs to grow up. Does your brother treat the dog well? If he does he shouldn't feel so insecure. As long as he is the one feeding and exercising the dog and has gained the dogs trust, then he shouldn't feel threatened by you petting him.
> 
> And that is strange, not caring if his dog is mistreated but caring about his dog loving someone more than him-if that person gives his dog attention.


He pats the dog for 5 mins when he gets home from work. And then feeds it and goes inside for the rest of the night.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Kaity said:


> What I don't get is why you and your brother don't just move out! You're old enough, proven that you can already live on your own so why can't your 22 year old brother do it as well? Or at least get some kind of help for his little hissy fits!


I came home so I could secure myself better financially. When I have better work and income I probably will get my own place again.


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## Kaity (Nov 18, 2009)

And why doesn't your younger brother go move in with mom? Maybe there's circumstances preventing it.. but I wouldn't want to be in the presence of your father. I can see you not wanting to leave for your younger brothers sake, but sometimes you do have to set a better example. My sister moved out when she was 16 and had drug problems, after she got over that and started her own family (now at 21) she's fine. She also has a better relationship with our parents, where as I had a crappy relationship when I was living in their house. Since I moved out, things have been rocky but it's getting better. Although, they still think they can control me and ask me why I was here or there at whatever time in the morning. That's just worry though  Also, can't you arrange for the breeder to come to your home? To see how the pup has been socialized, how he acts now and what his living conditions are?


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## Kaity (Nov 18, 2009)

Why won't you go live with your mom instead?


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

Cosmicbanana said:


> So I had a shower, then went to my room to relax. I then start hearing my brother out in the living area yelling at my father saying things like "**** YOU, IM GOING TO PUNCH HIS ****ING FACE IN" (Refering to me). I then hear my brother throwing plates against walls, throwing chairs, and breaking the family computer out there.. He really isn't happy about me patting his dog.


Ok, how did your dad react to your brothers violent outburst? I'd be darned if anyone, even my son, would come up in my house throwing my stuff and breaking my computer….heck no! Did your dad just sit there and permit this disrespect?


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## Cassidy's Mom (Mar 30, 2003)

This is a seriously dysfunctional family. The best thing you can do is to protect yourself by getting as far away from them as possible. It can actually be very freeing to decide to stop trying to please people who cannot be pleased.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Kaity said:


> And why doesn't your younger brother go move in with mom? Maybe there's circumstances preventing it.. but I wouldn't want to be in the presence of your father. I can see you not wanting to leave for your younger brothers sake, but sometimes you do have to set a better example. My sister moved out when she was 16 and had drug problems, after she got over that and started her own family (now at 21) she's fine. She also has a better relationship with our parents, where as I had a crappy relationship when I was living in their house. Since I moved out, things have been rocky but it's getting better. Although, they still think they can control me and ask me why I was here or there at whatever time in the morning. That's just worry though  Also, can't you arrange for the breeder to come to your home? To see how the pup has been socialized, how he acts now and what his living conditions are?


He tells me he wants to leave but my father gets angry at him if he mentions it.

I think we should just talk about the dog though? My family is a whole other problem that I don't really want to discuss here.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Germanshepherdlova said:


> Ok, how did your dad react to your brothers violent outburst? I'd be darned if anyone, even my son, would come up in my house throwing my stuff and breaking my computer….heck no! Did your dad just sit there and permit this disrespect?


Yeah he did. If it were me though, I'd be kicked out


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

Cosmicbanana said:


> I came home so I could secure myself better financially. When I have better work and income I probably will get my own place again.


One more thing, you can do it! You can make it on your own if you really want to live a normal life. Look, I moved out of my parents house the DAY that I turned 18. I was still in high school, and I worked, and I had a baby to take care of as well. I worked 2 jobs. A few years later my life got a lot easier because I met my hubby and he supported us so that I could stay home and rear my kids and go to college. I have never lived at home since the day I left on my 18th birthday. If I did it with a baby to take care of as well, you can do it.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Cosmicbanana said:


> He tells me he wants to leave but my father gets angry at him if he mentions it.
> 
> I think we should just talk about the dog though? My family is a whole other problem that I don't really want to discuss here.


We almost "can't" do that, though, since the family IS the whole thing WITH the dog. 

You need to get out of that environment. There is nothing healthy there for you. You may be able to make the dog's life somewhat better, but considering your brother is going to bash up the house over a PAT, it sounds like a recipe for total disaster.

Personally, I'd give the dog away to a new (good!) home since the breeder isn't going to be taking it back. Then I'd claim it must have run away and claim denial and innocence.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

If this is a real situation then you had better do more than get the RCSPA involved. You need to call child protective services and you need to move out of that house the minute your little brother is taken from your home.

Please get off the computer and take action to protect all of the beings in your home who cannot protect themselves. 

And don't use the excuse that it will just make it worse for them. If you truly want things to change then you take action for your brother, for the animals and for yourself. You are an adult.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

BowWowMeow said:


> If this is a real situation then you had better do more than get the RCSPA involved. You need to call child protective services and you need to move out of that house the minute your little brother is taken from your home.
> 
> Please get off the computer and take action to protect all of the beings in your home who cannot protect themselves.
> 
> And don't use the excuse that it will just make it worse for them. If you truly want things to change then you take action for your brother, for the animals and for yourself. You are an adult.


There is a little brother too? How old is he?


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## Kaity (Nov 18, 2009)

12years


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

Kaity said:


> 12years


OH NO! This situation is even worse than I realized.


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## Kaity (Nov 18, 2009)

I can say from experience that it's hard to assess a situation like the OPs.. with regards to his brother, especially his younger one and determining what's right from wrong and what will and will not be better for his brother and himself and get or keep him in trouble. 

Something bad to some of us, who grew up in - more stable households without any bad physical contact or emotional/mental abuse could potentially be the norm for the rest of us who grew up and had to put up with it. OP might not want to take his brother out of care, for his brothers sake who may be more comfortable within his fathers household or feel that it's right. There could be another family member willing to take his brother.. or he could claim his brother as a dependant and see what happens but I doubt it would be that easy unless he has proof or his fathers a raging alcoholic of some sort.


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## wyominggrandma (Jan 2, 2011)

I guess I must be a skeptic, because this thread is sounding more and more insane as it goes on.
First the puppy is in trouble and kicked by the dad and allowed to fall from a balcony. Then the breeder is trying to get the puppy back, but even though the puppy has been physically abused by the father, its okay for the puppy, and other dog to live there, and everything will be okay if the OP gets a larger dog house.
The OP gets in trouble for petting the puppy, yet a 22 year old brother can go into the house, scream and yell, break the computer, break chairs and break dishes and all this happens with a 12 year old watching and living like this and the father doesn't do a thing?
I believe if this is truly going on, then the OP should grow up and contact the police and put an end to the 12 year old livng in this type of home and the dogs should be GIVEN to whatever is available to find them better homes.
If the OP did not want people to react to his stories about his family and his life there, then why are the family members and their tempers and tantrums brought up? He explained in the very first thread about how cruel his family is, yet did not do a thing to prevent the puppy being brought into the house, he had plenty of time to contact the breeder since he put the link on the forum. 
This whole thing is just to weird to be a real situation.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

i'm pretty skeptical too. the op is (allegedly) in australia. never has answered the question if they are male or female, but have posted that they are an adult (in age). they seem much younger in maturity. everyone who is responding on this thread is making rational, mature suggestions which, for one reason or another, the op cannot implement. and even tho they tell us in detail about their dysfunctional family dynamics, now they'd like to keep the discussion about the dog.

so i have a question for you cosmicbanana: what exactly is it that you want from us, what do you hope to get from posting here? 

because there is clearly a piece of the puzzle missing.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

This thread is like a big circle. It just keeps going around and around and around.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

I hadn't even posted on this thread but just in case it is real I did need to say something. 

And as an FYI, that is not a personal opinion based on my own experiences. It is from a social worker (my partner) who has tons of work experience with family violence.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

When my father and brother left the house I did try to call the breeder on both mobiles and the home phone multiple times, but nobody picked up.

I only posted the tantrum my brother had because he mentioned he might be selling the dog, that is all. I explained the rest of the story so that it would make sense what was going on.


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

So.. technically, who's dog is it? I remember you posted that video of your younger brother saying he just got a new dog. He looked to be around 12 years old. Is it his dog or do you have another brother? I assumed it belonged to the kid in the video you posted.

So much is going on in these threads, it's getting hard to keep track who's who.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Lucy Dog said:


> So.. technically, who's dog is it? I remember you posted that video of your younger brother saying he just got a new dog. He looked to be around 12 years old. Is it his dog or do you have another brother? I assumed it belonged to the kid in the video you posted.
> 
> So much is going on in these threads, it's getting hard to keep track who's who.


When I posted the video I mentioned you should ignore what he says in the video. The dog belongs to my older brother, he is 22 years old. Then theres my younger brother who is 12, then my other brother who is 17 (he doesnt get involved in anything) then theres my father and his girlfriend.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

katieliz said:


> so i have a question for you cosmicbanana: what exactly is it that you want from us, what do you hope to get from posting here?


I have low self-esteem, and I value anyone's approval on what I am doing because I have trouble making decisions. There really isn't anyone I can talk to, and I feel better talking to people anonymously.


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## nitemares (Dec 15, 2005)

I tried not to get involved in this thread, but i had to after your last post. 
If you have low self esteem and can't decide on what to do in life, ppl here time and time again has given advice and told you what you need to do. 
But you seem like a person who need validation only on what they want to do and you keep ignoring other suggestions that differ from that.

Family dynamics like yours seem to be the norm where i live, unfortunately, nothing can be done around here in these situation. But you live in Australia, where you have a lot of ways to get help. RSPCA, social service, Police, etc... I just don't understand why you are choosing to ignore what everyone is suggesting. Its a shame!!


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## Lucy Dog (Aug 10, 2008)

Cosmicbanana said:


> I have low self-esteem, and I value anyone's approval on what I am doing because I have trouble making decisions. There really isn't anyone I can talk to, and I feel better talking to people anonymously.


If what you describe in these threads really goes on in your house... who can blame you for having low self esteem? I think anyone in your position would. 

Have you ever considered talking to a counselor or someone like that in real life instead of anonymously. It might be a big help.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Lucy Dog said:


> If what you describe in these threads really goes on in your house... who can blame you for having low self esteem? I think anyone in your position would.
> 
> Have you ever considered talking to a counselor or someone like that in real life instead of anonymously. It might be a big help.


Yeah, I was forced to go to counseling throughout my childhood but it never made home better because I don't think I was the trouble maker.
Anyways, maybe I should look into that. Thanks


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

Take your youngest brother and the two dogs and leave, go to your Mother's or someplace else that allows you all to live in a normal functional healthy environment. Please.


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## jetscarbie (Feb 29, 2008)

Okay.

Here is a solution. Why not talk to the breeder. Wait until your family leaves for the day, and give the pup back to the breeder. On that same day, find a friend, co-worker, or even the dog pound...to take the other dog (even if it's just for a few days).

Tell your dad they got out and ran away.


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## wyominggrandma (Jan 2, 2011)

According to one of the many responses to your postings, the breeder came on and joined this forum and posted to this thread. The breeder was very concerned about the puppy and was going to get it back. Most all of us figured it was not the breeder but you. Now, if the breeder is indeed reading this stuff and has not gone any further trying to get the puppy back, and you have called two or three times and no answer, then I don't believe it was the breeder, I think it was you pretending to be the breeder. If it was the breeder, why is he no longer posting? He is just letting the older brother and father ABUSE a puppy he bred? All he would have to do is take these postings about the cruel treatment he is getting as proof of what is going on and have the outside help he needs to get his puppy back.
Again, how old are you? You stated you have a brother 12, 17 and 22. Where do you fit in with all of this? If you have lived alone before , then you must be an adult. You just keep coming up with more and more excuses as to why you can't do anything that everyone is suggesting to get the puppy out of this situation, along with the other dog, oh yea and the cat. 
Just when this is dying down, you start posting again, bring your family situation into it, then state you don't want to talk about your family. It seems the poor puppy has been forgotten and everyone is up in arms about the family treatment of each other now.
I am sorry, this thread is not about a dog now,its about your family and the tantrums that your father and older brother throw. The older brother broke the family computer, yet you are still posting, so that must mean you have your own computer? Low self esteem? Garbage, you just like to stir up peoples sympathies and get them to post so you have somthing to do with your time since it seems you don't go to school nor work. Does your father and older brother work? Does the younger brothers go to school? If so, when you are alone at the house during the day DO SOMETHING, take the dogs and give them to the RSPCA.......... Since you don't work or go to school, there has to be sometime when you are alone in this house. 
Step up and be an adult. This is supposed to be about the GSD puppy, not you or your low self esteem or your family situation which I don't for a minute believe is true. I really don't believe any of this is true anymore, just to many excuses from someone who is telling everyone they are an adult.


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## Alexandria610 (Dec 2, 2010)

Cosmicbanana said:


> Yeah, I was forced to go to counseling throughout my childhood but it never made home better because I don't think I was the trouble maker.
> Anyways, maybe I should look into that. Thanks


 
Just because you aren't the problem in the house doesn't mean that some sort of counseling won't help you. As you mentioned, you have low-self-esteem. That is something that I struggle with as well, and it isn't anyone's fault. I talk to a psychiatrist about once a week, about just about every aspect of my life (he never pushes to hear more or for me to say anything I don't feel comfortable saying or talking to him about) and afterwards I feel a little more confident and understand of what is going on in my life/with myself.

I know that it won't 100% fix every little thing that is wrong with your life at home, but at the very least maybe it can help you feel more at ease, have more confidence, and discover more about yourself that may help you in the long run.

Don't rely on the counselor to change your family or your family life - it seems that will never change. Just use it as someone to talk to that won't argue back, but that will instead listen objectively and provide insight where needed.

I hope you get the help you needed, for all of the problems that have been plaguing you. Good luck.

Oh, and as for the dog, the people here have time and time again given you the advice you need to make the situation (and they have given different ways that you can do it so that you aren't even 'tied' to it), and you seem afraid to take the advice because your dad will find out. If he can't handle it, then that's too bad. It sounds like, for now, you need to break your ties with your father. Try to stay as close as you can to your little brother, and hope that you can change your own future, instead of staying in that place that is abusive and bad for you and your entire family.


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

From what I've concluded, he's a male that's probably 14 or 15. (Younger than 17). When he posted about the argument, his brother referred to him as 'he.' 



Cosmicbanana said:


> hearing my brother out in the living area yelling at my father saying things like "**** YOU, IM GOING TO PUNCH *HIS *****ING FACE IN" (_Refering to me_).


This one sort of tells us about his age. 



Cosmicbanana said:


> The dog belongs to my older brother, he is 22 years old. Then theres my younger brother who is 12, then my other brother who is 17


I'm going to say that he's 21 at the oldest. How old were you if you moved out? If you were on your own for 4 years, you had to have left when you were 17. Most people that age can't find a job that will pay them well enough to live on their own, not to mention, if you're in school, most places won't usually hire you for full time. (Out here anyway). 

Why don't you just TELL us, because everyone's been playing the guessing game and hinting at you telling us. 

Edit: Misread original post by the OP about age.


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## catz (Dec 10, 2010)

I think we are getting to the point now where we should just ignore this thread. That may sound harsh but I really dont feel anything anybody says will make a difference. Im thinking this whole thing is exhausting everyone who is trying to help as its tugging on their heart strings and we all want to make it better but that wont happen. As terrible as the stories are I think we should save our advice for someone who is willing to stand up and actively make a change. 

OP I will give you the benefit of the doubt and believe everthing you have told us. Your situation sounds difficult and sad but YOU are part of the problem. Am I saying its your fault your father is the way he is? No, but you are doing nothing to make life better for yourself or the other victums in this tale. I too have come from a very abusive household (and with the amount of people giving advice chances are a few others on this site have to), my self esteem is low and I too have problems making decisions. When you're in that situation it can feel like you're trapped but you are not. 
I moved out as soon as it was legal and I took with me my dog. It was scary and I had no friends and no money but I managed because being poor was better then living in a house where I had no respect or safety. 
Its up to you now.. you have the power to make things better for a child and a puppy who are suffering as well as yourself. You can keep making excuses for the rest of your life or you can get up and change it. If I hadn't I would still be where you are now. 
Frankly the fact that you do nothing says more about you then anyone else in your stories. 
I wish you the best.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Let's address what the breeder can and can't do though. 

I know nothing about laws in Australia. But if they are anything like here, once the money changes hands, ownership changes, and if the breeder went and stole the puppy back, that would be a criminal offense. If they could prove that the breeder did that, it can put him in a world of hurt and ruin his reputation. Going outside of the law sounds so easy and fine, but after the fact no one cares why you did it, just that you did it.

The breeder has to go through channels, which it sounds like he is doing. These channels, probably take time. And, frankly, all we have to go on, about abuse/neglect is the word of a young man who seems very conflicted, has no qualms about lying, wants to be anonymous, does not want any of this to get back to his father whom he despises but is willing to accept support from and wants to have a relationship with. Hmmmm. 

Think about how it would work here. Your kid is ticked at you and calls the humane society and tells them that you kicked your puppy and deliberately let it fall off the balcony onto its back. They come to the door and ask to see the puppy that seems just fine. They ask you about the alleged abuse, which you deny. Should they take the dog? Could they get a warrant to sieze the dog?

No. I am betting that in all fifty of the United States anyway, that they will not be able to sieze the dog, nor would Child Protective Services be able to take the kid out of this situation. For what? Because an adult child has an argument with swearing in it toward the dad and breaks some things? They should take the other kid because this happened in the house. Maybe if the dad put the adult son in traction for acting that way to him, maybe they could get the other kid out of there. 

Young males of any species do not always get along together in the pack or herd or family after a certain age. The brother wants a dog of his own and buys this one. While he is out working, his brother is at home winning his dog over to himself, and is proud of the fact that the dog will stay by him instead of going to the person that feeds him. The brother is ticked off and tells his dad who hasn't a clue how to manage these adult children he is supporting. He does not immidiately agree to chuck out the offending brother, and the other brother gets mad and says a lot of stuff he may or may not do. 

We are all reacting to an adult child who is having trouble in his life, in his home situation, with his self-esteem. People who have trouble with self-esteem often try to put others down to make themselves seem not so bad. The guy wants sympathy, probably gets off on our emotions when we are angry, sad, worried about the puppy or his brother or him. He admitted he lies. And he will be very unhappy if his father reads these threads, but he continues to write them, probably because it is thrilling to do something that he will get in trouble for if he gets caught. 

My sympathy goes out to the breeder because he needs to worry that his pup is in a bad situation, but probably has his hands totally tied. 

I kind of agree though that continuing to post on here will simply play into this guy's twisted need for attention.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

selzer said:


> Let's address what the breeder can and can't do though.
> 
> I know nothing about laws in Australia. But if they are anything like here, once the money changes hands, ownership changes, and if the breeder went and stole the puppy back, that would be a criminal offense. If they could prove that the breeder did that, it can put him in a world of hurt and ruin his reputation. Going outside of the law sounds so easy and fine, but after the fact no one cares why you did it, just that you did it.
> 
> ...


This is a different prospective, and since we have only one side of the story here it is important to remember that there is more than one side to a story.


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## Twyla (Sep 18, 2011)

I'm going to be the bad guy here.

For whatever reason instead of choosing a chat room, fb or something else, he landed here on a GSD forum. Sat, read for a while, then jumped in with his 'story'.

Anyone reading this forum can see that we love our dogs, and that will naturally transfer over to family, friends, people who need help. So it's easy to assume that if someone came in with a tough story, the same help would be offered to them through the forum. 

This person needed attention and he got it. A GSD puppy being abused. Who wouldn't be livid at that? A controlling and abusive father, we hear everyday how that ends so if this is one kid that can be helped with good advice? The breeder suddenly joins the forum at just the right time.... coincidence? Now not to be heard from again? 

To many twists and turns to the story, bringing facts up then saying it's off limits... 

I may be completely wrong but it really sounds like this is nothing but an online game for this kid. 

Kick me, beat me but I am so far beyond just being skeptical on this...

Twyla


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## Konotashi (Jan 11, 2010)

I think what made me stop believing the story was when the so-called breeder popped up. From the second I read it, I thought it was CosmicBanana. 

Here's some more troll-feed for you.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

In the part one thread of all this a moderator said that the breeder was not fake, that is was really the breeder. I had thought it was the OP before the moderator spoke up.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)




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## NewbieShepherdGirl (Jan 7, 2011)

Haha Selzer you find the neatest little emoticon thingys


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

the breeder IS real. He DID post on the other thread. As selzer said, we don't really know the laws and such in Australia, if the dog has shelter and food, well that may be ok fine over there as it is here.

I doubt the RSPCA will go in and seize these dogs, because don't ya think everyone wll be on their best behavior when they show up??

Cosmic, frankly, you have been given TONS of suggestions and advice. It was the RIGHT thing to do to contact the breeder. I'll give you credit for that.

However, your still here getting everyone all riled up and sitting back and not doing ANYTHING to help YOURSELF or the dogs! 

People have told you to leave, you choose not to, you choose to stay in an abusive household so deal with it. As for the dogs, they don't have a choice, YOU DO. 

Your trying to make things 'better', but guess what? They ARE NOT GOING TO GET BETTER. It's time to grow up, take some responsibility, because in the end, the longer you condone whats' going on, whether it's within your family or with the animals, you are just as at fault as everyone living there. 

Take the puppy hand him over to the breeder when no one's around. Tell your brother to return him to the breeder..

Honestly, if I was that breeder reading this stuff, all bets would be off, I'd be knocking on your door and showing your father these posts, or I'd be showing them to the RSPCA..


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

Don't ya think it takes some time to get the money together to move out with a bunch of dogs? If that is a 21 yo person, it's not going to be easy to find a place, with dogs and a job to support himself AND the dogs. 

It's not that easy to simply stand up and leave. Heck, I couldn't just leave if I had to, not without loosing the dogs and pobably half the forum couldn't just pack their bags and leave. 

It's NOT that simple, not if we want to take the dogs. If he has no money, not a good enough paying job, he'd sit on the street, with the dogs, not being able to afford food let alone veterinary care if anything happened...

So WHERE IS HE SUPPOSED TO GO?


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

he has said previously his mom wants him to move back home, he could go there. and if he can't take the dogs, well atleast he's gotten himself out of a bad situation.

He is 21 years old and has a job, it's not a 'bunch' of dogs, its TWO, heck they'd be better off at a shelter than putting up with the stuff this person says they put up with. 

In this situation it sure would be easy to just get up and leave..I'd live in my car before I'd put up with the junk he's putting up with.


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## NewbieShepherdGirl (Jan 7, 2011)

Mrs.K said:


> Don't ya think it takes some time to get the money together to move out with a bunch of dogs? If that is a 21 yo person, it's not going to be easy to find a place, with dogs and a job to support himself AND the dogs.
> 
> It's not that easy to simply stand up and leave. Heck, I couldn't just leave if I had to, not without loosing the dogs and pobably half the forum couldn't just pack their bags and leave.
> 
> ...


I totally agreed with this until he said his mom wanted him to live with her. It has been my position from the very beginning that it is not his responsibility to take these dogs with him. If he does, great, but it should not be expected. The dogs are the responsibility of the ones who got them. Pure and simple. If those people aren't good people, well that sucks and I hope something can be done, but the world doesn't always work that way. Being a young adult (who has to work a minimum wage job) and having a dog is a huge sacrifice for someone who chose the dog! It's not fair to ask someone who didn't want the dogs in the first place to take the dogs with them. 

My advice to the OP. We've all gone through crappy stuff in our lives. There are two things you can do when crappy stuff comes your way: 1) You can let it define you and claim the role of a victim or 2) You can learn from it and let it make you a better person. I've had some rough stuff happen in my life, and I understand why you want a relationship with your dad even though he is the way he is: he's your dad. I've been pinned up against the wall by my throat by a family member that I care very deeply about. I had physical altercations with this person every single day just because they were taking drugs they shouldn't have been, and on top of that there was emotional abuse that went back as far as I can remember. Guess what? It doesn't matter. I chose to love them despite it, but recognize how much of a distance way healthy and prudent. I didn't let it turn me into a victim; I let it teach me exactly how I don't want to be.

EDIT: I would just like to say that I was a minor when all the stuff with me was going on, so I didn't have a choice. I couldn't leave without dropping out of high school, and I wasn't going to do that.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

All I am going to say is if there is a will, there is a way. If I did it, then I know that this guy sure can. And I left as soon as I could-my 18th birthday. I was in my senior year of high school, I had a son to provide for and I left and have NEVER went back to live with my parents. I did resume a relationship with them after several months, and we are close now. I am not going to lie, it was very hard when I left, I worked from 6 am to 1 am-six days a week to make ends meet at 2 miserable jobs. That was over a decade ago, but it is possible, nobody has to stay in a situation that they don't want to be in.


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## katieliz (Mar 29, 2007)

(STANDS UP AND CHEERS FOR NEWBIESHEPHERDGIRL)...good job!!!


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

I've read through all these posts, and I just want to say that I am moving out. I'm just not sure when. Last night I told my father that I don't think it's going to work out, and he told me to stay a bit longer because he thinks things will settle down once the house has been expanded. Honestly, I don't see how having more distance between our living areas will make things better, but he seems to think it will.

Do you guys suggest I just leave? He did just spend $10k on this new expansion, and I'm thinking he will be pretty mad that I just up and leave just as it's in construction.

I'm going to try taking Asher as well. I don't know how though.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Young men should move out of their parents' home and take care of themselves, clean after themselves, cook for themselves, work, and pay the bills. If you want to improve your self esteem, that is the route you must take.

Young women should move out of their parents' home and take care of themselves, clean after themselves, cook for themselves, work, and pay the bills. If ever they marry someone who is abusive, they then know that they do not have to remain in an abusive situation. 

Inborn in all of us is a miserable factor that starts jumping around like a tooth whose nerve is dying. This is because we should not live with our parents until we are forty. We should get our butts out and take care of ourselves. The miserable factor is just part of the process. Some of us squelch it because we are afraid of change, afraid of failure. When the pain of change is less than the pain of staying where we are, we will move out to the unknown. 

What was the line in The Breakfast Club? Of course we are miserable living at home, otherwise we would live with our parents forever. 

Quit using your energy on the internet watching pieces of anonymous lives, and get out there and experience it. You say you have been out for four years. Were you on your own. You got to get out on your own to get the benefit. You do not have to live alone forever, but until you know you can do it. 

Your dad will get over it. Any man worth his man card will be proud of a son who is out there taking care of business, instead of sitting at home being taken care of.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

selzer said:


> Young men should move out of their parents' home and take care of themselves, clean after themselves, cook for themselves, work, and pay the bills. If you want to improve your self esteem, that is the route you must take.
> 
> Young women should move out of their parents' home and take care of themselves, clean after themselves, cook for themselves, work, and pay the bills. If ever they marry someone who is abusive, they then know that they do not have to remain in an abusive situation.
> 
> ...


Thanks, this means a lot.


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## Mrs.K (Jul 14, 2009)

You did not ask him for that expansion, did you? It's not your fault that he's spending that kind of money. 

Trust me, I've been there. I had a miserable relationship with my parents and there was a time where we didn't talk for years. When I moved out I had nothing, not a single penny and that is why I said, it's not that easy and I don't suggest everybody to do what I did, it is the hard route to take and it's really not that simple and easy as it sounds. I had a miserable life for a very long time, lived off of chicken soup and rice because I didn't have enough money to buy something else but I made it. Somehow I picked myself up and I worked, I went back to school. I pulled myself out and somewhere along the line I finally got the daughter/parents relationship that I always wanted and meanwhile I have a relathionship with my mother and my father that is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! 

But for that you need to move out, get as many miles in between and live your own life. Distance helps a lot. I know, I've done it 



Cosmicbanana said:


> I've read through all these posts, and I just want to say that I am moving out. I'm just not sure when. Last night I told my father that I don't think it's going to work out, and he told me to stay a bit longer because he thinks things will settle down once the house has been expanded. Honestly, I don't see how having more distance between our living areas will make things better, but he seems to think it will.
> 
> Do you guys suggest I just leave? He did just spend $10k on this new expansion, and I'm thinking he will be pretty mad that I just up and leave just as it's in construction.
> 
> I'm going to try taking Asher as well. I don't know how though.


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## SaberCt (Sep 15, 2011)

I was out of my parent's house in less than two weeks after I turned 18. I'm 22, now with a college plan, a paid off car that I bought "new" (<10,000 miles.) and a place to stay. I wanted to get out, not for any reason other than I wanted to be independant. I left with about $100 to my name, and I made it happen. If there's a strong enough will, there is most certainly a way.

But this thread has devolved into the same attention-grabbing posts the last thread turned into. All the advice has been given, there is nothing more to say. Either Cosmicbanana takes the advice, or doesn't. Either way, the thread keeps going in circles, there's an "eventful evening", people react, post the same things, and it repeats every few days.

The last thread ended for a reason. *LOCK THE THREAD!*


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

I think that Cosmic is going through a lot of stuff, some he is telling us, and other stuff that he may not dare to mention here and he just needs someone to talk to. He may draw comfort out of the responses of people who care about the dogs since he apparently feels alone in the whole caring about dogs aspect at home. 

Cosmic, do you have a trusted friend? Perhaps you could share your situation and feelings with him/her. On this forum people are ultimately going to care about the well being of your 2 dogs, we love our GSD's here. Hearing that a GSD puppy is being mistreated, and not being able to do anything about it is very frustrating and heartbreaking for us. 

We are all eagerly awaiting the post where you say-the dog has been rescued. Will the good news be coming anytime soon?


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Germanshepherdlova said:


> We are all eagerly awaiting the post where you say-the dog has been rescued. Will the good news be coming anytime soon?


I hope so. I'll definitely be posting here if something good comes out of this.


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## MicheleMarie (Mar 29, 2011)

good luck to you. both selzer and germanshepherdlova gave very heartfelt points. another good point is the oxygen masks in the airline safety video:
"secure your mask first, before helping others"

you are no help to others unless you are secure yourself  it's okay to be selfish once in awhile. and please keep us updated!


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

Germanshepherdlova said:


> I think that Cosmic is going through a lot of stuff, some he is telling us, and other stuff that he may not dare to mention here and he just needs someone to talk to. He may draw comfort out of the responses of people who care about the dogs since he apparently feels alone in the whole caring about dogs aspect at home.
> 
> Cosmic, do you have a trusted friend? Perhaps you could share your situation and feelings with him/her. On this forum people are ultimately going to care about the well being of your 2 dogs, we love our GSD's here. Hearing that a GSD puppy is being mistreated, and not being able to do anything about it is very frustrating and heartbreaking for us.
> 
> We are all eagerly awaiting the post where you say-the dog has been rescued. Will the good news be coming anytime soon?





I agree. Sometimes people need a place to go where they can vent. For a lot of us on here we would rather believe that families like Cosmic's don't exist and people like his brother and father aren't real and he must be making them up to get attention because things like this only happen in movies. Unfortunately, I can say with all honesty from the things I have seen, real life is usually worse than anything Hollywood can dream up. 

Cosmic, do what you have to do to get out. If you can find a way to take Asher with you, even better. Finding a way to get Caesar back to the breeder or rehomed would be ideal as well. Unfortunately your brother or father will just get another poor dog once you and those 2 are gone but at least you will not be around to witness it. And like Mrs K said once you have some time and distance between you perhaps you will be able to repair your relationship. Good Luck.


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## SitUbuSit (Aug 1, 2011)

MicheleMarie said:


> good luck to you. both selzer and germanshepherdlova gave very heartfelt points. another good point is the oxygen masks in the airline safety video:
> "secure your mask first, before helping others"
> 
> you are no help to others unless you are secure yourself


So true!!


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

Cosmicbanana said:


> I hope so. I'll definitely be posting here if something good comes out of this.


I think I speak for many when I say, we are eagerly anticipating this.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Hey everyone.

After an eventful week, I've decided to move out to my mums for a while, as I'm not independent yet. But at least I can continue my search for better work in a good environment. I spoke with my mother on the weekend, and she told me she is looking to rent out a house that has a nice backyard. And she told me when she does, I can bring Asher as well and she'll allow me to take care of her.

The only problem is I'm not sure how to go about taking Asher. Obviously I cannot just grab her and leave because my dad could call the police. I also thought about offering my father some money for her. But my dad's ego will not allow him to sell the dog off to me. I was hoping some people here had some ideas?


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

If you want the dog, ask your father if you can take the dog. If he says no, then oh well. It is not your dog. If your father is not doing anything illegal with the dog, then that is all you can do, and if people suggest you do something underhanded to get the dog from your father, I would find that highly irresponsible. 

It is not that different from those of us who live next door to a dog that is an outdoor dog, or a chained dog. If the people are providing for their basic needs, we can ask if they may want to sell the dog or give the dog away, and then take the dog if they do, but if they do not, then we have to walk away. I, personally would not even ask a stranger or neighbor. But if the dog that you live with responds to you best, then I see no reason that you should not ask your dad if you can take the dog, but just be prepared for either answer.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

selzer said:


> If you want the dog, ask your father if you can take the dog. If he says no, then oh well. It is not your dog. If your father is not doing anything illegal with the dog, then that is all you can do, and if people suggest you do something underhanded to get the dog from your father, I would find that highly irresponsible.
> 
> It is not that different from those of us who live next door to a dog that is an outdoor dog, or a chained dog. If the people are providing for their basic needs, we can ask if they may want to sell the dog or give the dog away, and then take the dog if they do, but if they do not, then we have to walk away. I, personally would not even ask a stranger or neighbor. But if the dog that you live with responds to you best, then I see no reason that you should not ask your dad if you can take the dog, but just be prepared for either answer.


Thanks for your response. I'll ask him today, but I know he is going to say no.

Another thing. Do you remember Beau, the cat I was talking about in the other thread? When I move I'm going to take him with me. My dad doesn't feed or do anything with Beau, and he probably won't even notice him being gone. My only concern is the change of living conditions for him. He has been locked exclusively outside for 4 years, and it's an apartment I am moving to. Would it be a bad idea to make him go from an outdoor cat to an indoor cat so suddenly?


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

Mom is ok with you bringing a dog and a cat?

Mom is looking for a house with a yard so you can move in and bring the dog? 

Will that make it harder to move out on your own when you can get a job and be out on your own?

Do you think that you should bring a dog and a cat to your mother's home?

When you grow up, you make decisions based on what you can manage. You cannot support yourself, in your opinion, so you are moving in with your mother. If you cannot support yourself, you cannot support a dog and a cat. If your mother has mentioned that she will take the one, then she is an adult, and would not have said that if she was not ok with it. Asking her to take another is kind of crappy in my opinion. Expecting she will be fine with taking the other is not kool. Lots of people, (I am one of them) cannot have indoor cats. It is not something you should just assume is no problem. 

But the big issue is that you can't support yourself, and you are making yourself responsible for two critters, and that means the three of you will flop in on Mom. 

You got to do what you got to do, to make your situation better. But taking responsibility for pets should happen when you can take care of them as well as yourself.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

selzer said:


> Mom is ok with you bringing a dog and a cat?
> 
> Mom is looking for a house with a yard so you can move in and bring the dog?
> 
> ...


Yes, she is ok with it. She's actually been talking about getting a new cat, and I suggested that we take Beau instead. But she is also worried about the outdoor to indoor cat thing. And I'm not able to take Asher until we have a house, I've accepted that. 

I know I've said I cannot support myself at this time, which is true. Rent and living expenses are **** expensive. You can't compare that to owning a cat which doesn't cost much to feed or have a check up every few months. I know what it takes to support an animal, and I know I can support Beau so long as I'm living with my mother.

Asher is a different story, shes a dog and needs more room than an apartment. Which is why I'm going to wait until we have a house before I start offering my dad money for her or anything else.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

And Beau's situation is far more desperate then Ashers. My father doesn't feed him and he expects the neighbors to leave food out for him. If they ever stopped doing that then he would starve. So I'm going to step in and save him


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## bianca (Mar 28, 2010)

My cats were inside and outside cats (never out at night) and after moving they have been inside exclusively for the last 5 or 6 years. Admittedly they were/are older but I should think Beau would adapt.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

bianca said:


> My cats were inside and outside cats (never out at night) and after moving they have been inside exclusively for the last 5 or 6 years. Admittedly they were/are older but I should think Beau would adapt.


Beau is 7 years old. He spent the first 3 years living inside/outside (when I was taking care of him). Then for the last 4 years he's been exclusively outside.

By the way, you guys might be happy to hear I'm posting from my mothers place. I had a friend come over in his utility today and I was able to move 90% of my things here. We're going to get the rest of it on Sunday. But I am currently living at my mums now 

Over the next few days there are some things I need to do with my bank and other things. But when I get the chance I'm going to go to the Pet shop and buy a whole lot of things for Beau. Once I have everything I need to adopt him, I will go get him.

And about Asher and Caesar; Once we have a house I'm going to try for her, but I'm not too optimistic about Caesar. It would be impossible to get my brother to give him to me.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

cats are pretty adaptable,,if he's lived inside before, he'll probably be happy to live inside again..Just make sure you have a litter box (obviously) and that he KNOWS where it is initially.

My friend has taken in older feral cats that had never lived inside, and they are doing just fine transitioning to inside and a litter box


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

JakodaCD OA said:


> cats are pretty adaptable,,if he's lived inside before, he'll probably be happy to live inside again..Just make sure you have a litter box (obviously) and that he KNOWS where it is initially.
> 
> My friend has taken in older feral cats that had never lived inside, and they are doing just fine transitioning to inside and a litter box


Thanks, I'll let you guys know how it goes.

I didn't expect to get advice about cats in a dog forum


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

there are alot of cat lovers here as well


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Hey guys, an update about Beau. Today I managed to get him in a cage and take him to the vet. Surprisingly, the vet told me he was healthy and suggested to get some dental chews for his teeth which have some tartar build up.

He is in my room right now and he has been hiding under my desk since I let him out. I just wanted to let you all know he's in a better environment now 

And about the dogs; that will be another thing I will work on later. Our apartment is pretty small and I don't think it'd be suitable for either of the dogs. Now that I'm back living with my mum and it's another income coming into the home, we may be able to afford a house to rent which has a yard. Once that happens, I'll try to buy Asher from my father.


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## nitemares (Dec 15, 2005)

That is great news Cosmicbanana! Hope you the best of luck moving and acquiring both dogs.


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

nitemares said:


> That is great news Cosmicbanana! Hope you the best of luck moving and acquiring both dogs.


Thanks! It's definitely a work in progress. As someone said in a much earlier post; I must get myself out of a bad situation if I hope to pull others to safety. And that's not just the animals, my little brother too. I hope things will work out in the end


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## Danielle609 (Jun 18, 2011)

Glad to see that things are looking up. I also want to but my head into your personal life if you don't mind. But you have said many times about getting on your own and being independent. But if you and your Mom have a good healthy relationship, but neither of you make quite enough to rent a house on your own, why don't you rent together. In todays economy (Not sure how it is in Australia) people are doing a lot of things to get by. I would still consider you independent if you and your Mom were sharing the bills. It isn't like she is still cutting up your meat for you and packing you a lunch....and if she is, well then I guess you have to face the fact that you are a Mommas boy


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Danielle609 said:


> Glad to see that things are looking up. I also want to but my head into your personal life if you don't mind. But you have said many times about getting on your own and being independent. But if you and your Mom have a good healthy relationship, but neither of you make quite enough to rent a house on your own, why don't you rent together. In todays economy (Not sure how it is in Australia) people are doing a lot of things to get by. I would still consider you independent if you and your Mom were sharing the bills. It isn't like she is still cutting up your meat for you and packing you a lunch....and if she is, well then I guess you have to face the fact that you are a Mommas boy


I would definitely prefer to live with one of my parents, especially my mum because she needs help paying the bills as well. Besides a good income, I am more independent than my 2 other brothers who work because I know how it is being out of home and needing to take care of myself, and I know how to save money and do anything else that needs to be done. I would prefer to have my OWN place, but if my mum and I were able to rent a big enough home I would like it all the same.


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## Danielle609 (Jun 18, 2011)

I think that sounds like a win win situation then. As long as you and your Mom are good with boundries. One of these days I am sure you will be out on your own. But right now I guess it is about getting by from day to day. Hope you guys get a house soon and then you Dad lets you take the dogs. Maybe he will be sick of them by then. If you know he wont sell to you, you should get a friend that he doesn't know to ask to "buy" him...just a thought  But good luck with everything!


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## Rott-n-GSDs (Jul 7, 2010)

I know this is a dog forum but, at this point, the dogs are the least of my concern.

What about your 12 year old brother? Have you told your mum about how he is treated? Is there a way he can come live with you and your mum?


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

Cosmicbanana said:


> Hey guys, an update about Beau. Today I managed to get him in a cage and take him to the vet. Surprisingly, the vet told me he was healthy and suggested to get some dental chews for his teeth which have some tartar build up.
> 
> He is in my room right now and he has been hiding under my desk since I let him out. I just wanted to let you all know he's in a better environment now
> 
> And about the dogs; that will be another thing I will work on later. Our apartment is pretty small and I don't think it'd be suitable for either of the dogs. Now that I'm back living with my mum and it's another income coming into the home, we may be able to afford a house to rent which has a yard. Once that happens, I'll try to buy Asher from my father.


:thumbup:


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## Cosmicbanana (Sep 4, 2011)

Rott-n-GSDs said:


> I know this is a dog forum but, at this point, the dogs are the least of my concern.
> 
> What about your 12 year old brother? Have you told your mum about how he is treated? Is there a way he can come live with you and your mum?


Yes, my mum knows my little brother has a tough time at home, but she didn't know that he really wanted to live with her. He is afraid to tell my father how he feels.

My mother went to family services recently and found that she has equal rights to keep him with her without having to go to court (unless my dad really fought for it). The next time my brother comes over to visit, it is legal for him to decide "I want to stay here" and that's it. At the same time though, he has told me a few times he is scared that my father will be disappointed in him and not want anything to do with him. And my older brother will hate him for it.

I guess you could say he is in a similar situation I was in; Don't do anything and stay miserable, or do something and be happy, and learn not to care what others think. I had a long talk with him yesterday, I'm not trying to influence him to move to my mums or my dads. But I'm telling him that sometimes he has to make the right decision for himself, and if people don't like that then that can't be helped. He's told me that he mostly wants to be with me, and that when I was living there at my dads it wasn't so bad for him because I was standing up for him all the time. Now that I'm gone, he wants to follow. He actually said if I ever moved to my own place again, he wants to be with me. But I think his mothers is the best place for him emotionally. My father has made the divorce really hard on him. He pretty much talks about my mum every day calling her a Sl*t and other things right in front of him, and asking if his step mother is better looking etc etc. Also when my brother goes back home from a visit, my dad pretty much interrogates him and wants to know about everything my mum did or said or whatever. At least when he is at my mums, the divorce isn't even mentioned in front of him and neither is my father.


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