# Adopted 1 yr old, rehomed, prev owner wants to visit ADVICE needed!



## GSDMUM

Okay, We adopted a 1 year old pup a few days ago, brought to us by the owner that had to give him up for very valid reasons ( personal, family), a few days ago and the liason from the rescue org. I like them both but the woman was crying giving him up and my husband said to her , "You are welcome to visit anytime you want". She perked up and was so happy...BUT...the pup already ( just found this out) has separation anxiety. He went crazy and panicked trying to climb the fence right after she left and it took us a half hour to get her back into the house from the yard. I am going to try to leave the house tonight for a few minutes and have my husband home and work up gradually to being gone longer each time, then when noone is home. I am not crating her as her owner told me after the fact that he does pee in his crate and hates it when she goes to work. I am home and do not work so it's better for him but, visiting? She called me via facebook video chat last night and was talking to the dog . They dog recognized her voice and after she hung up, he kept bringing the ball to throw, not back to me but brought it to the PC speaker instead about 6 times! I like the woman and normally anyone can visit but I am really worried that he will get so excited to see her and will feel abandoned again when she leaves, backing up any progress I have made, I might hire a trainer if I have a problem. I just want what's best for the dog, it's nothing personal at all. The liason thinks it should be fine but I have seen baby primates raised by a human that gave him up and so many like that and when the previous owner came to visit the pet monkey in a sanctuary, the poor thing cried and reached out and was so upset for the whole day. I need you opinions. I told the woman after a few months she can try but if he reacts like he did before and is panicking that it will reinforce his separation issues. (I will be doing Doggy Day Care and some agility with him to build his confidence as he is fearful.) He and I bonded within 24 hours and he really is happy. playful, eating well, etc right after all that within a 24 hr period. I know the liason comes on here also. I really like her and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but the dog is my main concern. I may hire a behaviorist or two to get their expert opinions.


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## Kyrielle

I'd say no visiting. Sorry, she gave up her dog and the dog is in a new home and needs to bond with his new people. Especially since he has separation anxiety. How on earth are you supposed to help him if he keeps getting "teased" by his former owner--who left him.

That's like the "on again off again" relationship some people get into where it just tortures everyone involved.


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## Shane'sDad

I'd also say no....way to early in your relationship with the rescue IMO....I'd say wait until the dog becomes "yours"...when he's bonded to you....you say the dog has anxiety issues already...being in a brand new home and former owner visiting would likely be very confusing for him....you know the woman will be highly emotional and he'll see that....again I'd say ..No not now.....

I also believe in keeping my word soooo.....since your husband sorta gave the go ahead... I'd tell her that you think it's to early and stressful now but you'll call her when you feel the dog is ready for it....six months or so down the road you should be able to tell when the time is right.....I also think I'd set these "meetings" up somewhere neutral for the dog not his new home or his old home....my 2 cents...


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## Kari01

I would say you have already answered your own question, and I agree with the above posters. Be firm! No calling you and no visiting. Just tell her very directly that it makes the dog VERY anxious and upset when she calls, remind her it's about the dog and not her. Some people struggle with that concept, so I think you need to be firm.

I wouldn't want to be mean to her either, but if you are honest that you didn't expect it to be hard on the dog, and explain all of the above, then any decent person would have to understand. Under no circumstances would I let her keep calling and visiting though, personally.

Good luck with your new dog!


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## GSDMUM

Kyrielle said:


> I'd say no visiting. Sorry, she gave up her dog and the dog is in a new home and needs to bond with his new people. Especially since he has separation anxiety. How on earth are you supposed to help him if he keeps getting "teased" by his former owner--who left him.
> 
> That's like the "on again off again" relationship some people get into where it just tortures everyone involved.


I agree with you!!!!


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## GSDMUM

Shane'sDad said:


> I'd also say no....way to early in your relationship with the rescue IMO....I'd say wait until the dog becomes "yours"...when he's bonded to you....you say the dog has anxiety issues already...being in a brand new home and former owner visiting would likely be very confusing for him....you know the woman will be highly emotional and he'll see that....again I'd say ..No not now.....
> 
> I also believe in keeping my word soooo.....since your husband sorta gave the go ahead... I'd tell her that you think it's to early and stressful now but you'll call her when you feel the dog is ready for it....six months or so down the road you should be able to tell when the time is right.....I also think I'd set these "meetings" up somewhere neutral for the dog not his new home or his old home....my 2 cents...


Good point about it being a neutral area. I am also going to get advice from a couple of behaviorists and that carries a lot of weight. The previous owner said she'd like to see her in 3 months. That's too soon if at all.


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## GSDMUM

Shane'sDad said:


> I'd also say no....way to early in your relationship with the rescue IMO....I'd say wait until the dog becomes "yours"...when he's bonded to you....you say the dog has anxiety issues already...being in a brand new home and former owner visiting would likely be very confusing for him....you know the woman will be highly emotional and he'll see that....again I'd say ..No not now.....
> 
> I also believe in keeping my word soooo.....since your husband sorta gave the go ahead... I'd tell her that you think it's to early and stressful now but you'll call her when you feel the dog is ready for it....six months or so down the road you should be able to tell when the time is right.....I also think I'd set these "meetings" up somewhere neutral for the dog not his new home or his old home....my 2 cents...


My husband is in hot water, He has such a good heart but feels terrible now that it has made a problem.


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## atomic

I second what everyone else has said, what I wanted to add that was new is if your dog is fearful and especially overwhelmed by the sudden move (who wouldn’t!) I absolutely would not recommend day care. I worked at a dog daycare for about a month and people have this notion that all the dogs are best friends and do nothing but roll around in the sunshine playing and cuddling all day but the reality is different. When you get 20-25 dogs together in a relatively small area it is chaotic, it’s never the same dogs every time so there is always the hierarchy battle going on. Even confident dogs get stressed, the more submissive ones are downright scared and are prime targets for bullying. ALL of them are more than ready with anticipation to go home hours well before it’s time. Dog daycares exist for a money making business, not the welfare of the dogs. I can almost guarantee all of these dogs would be worlds happier spending the days in their home and having a walker come in the middle of the day for an hour to let them out and spend some one on one time. If you want your dog to become more comfortable and confident, first let him fully adjust to his new life. Then start taking him for rides, sometimes don’t even let him out, and take him to neutral places and build up from there. If you know people with friendly, stable dogs let them try to become friends one at a time.


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## GSDchoice

Yep agree with everybody!
It's just confusing for the dog, and painful too - 
he will think that she has come to pick him up from his "boarding" stay and will be upset when she leaves again without him. 

Maybe you could take some videos of him at home with you, walking with you, etc and share those instead, 
explaining that it will be too traumatic and confusing for him to see her again so soon...?


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## Springbrz

GSDchoice said:


> Yep agree with everybody!
> It's just confusing for the dog, and painful too -
> he will think that she has come to pick him up from his "boarding" stay and will be upset when she leaves again without him.
> 
> Maybe you could take some videos of him at home with you, walking with you, etc and share those instead,
> explaining that it will be too traumatic and confusing for him to see her again so soon...?


I like this idea of sharing photos and videos. It will let the previous owner have a connection and see the dog is happy and well cared for but not stress the dog.


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## sebrench

Sending photos or even a few videos to former owner occurred to me also.


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## crittersitter

Offer to email her periodic updates and pics. No visiting......


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## MineAreWorkingline

A dog, especially a German Shepherd, that is bonded to someone else that is trying to get back to its loved ones and home is a loyal dog, not one that has separation anxiety. It is expected breed behavior for this breed. They are not a dog to be handed off easily to the next stranger.

It will be hard on the dog whether his past owner visits or not. I probably would go with pictures and videos for now. Seeing his loved owner leave him again will be very hard on him. It probably would have been best for all if you had taken a week or so to spend time with the dog while he was still at his prior owners and then maybe spent some time having him at your house for a day and then overnight and built on that but too late for that now.

I would concentrate on bonding with him now. Do things he likes and enjoys. Take him to some new places, do some exploring. Remember that you are a stranger to him and bonding can take weeks or months or might not even happen at all.


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## Magwart

I like the idea of visiting much, much later -- but do it in a neutral place (like a park). Once you bond, the dog will be able to see the former owner and walk away from her -- but not yet.

I have fostered dogs for many months, and they very much think they are "mine" after so much time. Then they get adopted, and I don't plan to see them -- but we do run into each other from time to time. One of the cutest moments I had in a dog park was when one of my foster-alums came running up, greeted me warmly and then danced back to his new family and pressed against them, looking back at me with a happy expression. He was telling me "these are my people now." It was as it should be and made me feel so very happy for him -- I'd done my job well for him, and he was living his happily-ever-after.

At dog festivals, when the rescue has a booth, our alumni often come by to visit the booth, and there are many happy reunions with foster volunteers. The dogs always remember the foster families. Yesterday, a five-year-old went nuts with delight when he recognized the guy who fostered him as a puppy! The dogs don't want to go home with the foster family though -- they're joyous about the greeting, and then they are content to continue on their way with their owners. They know their life isn't with us any longer.

You can get there eventually with this dog, but not yet.


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## wolfy dog

It took a foster dog more than 6 months before she was able to be around me in a neutral way, although there was always the spark between her and I but I never wanted her back. Once in a while we would see each other but I kept a hands-off approach as respect to the new owner. 
No physical contact. Block her on FB and send a few emails now and then at first and wean off. Even pictures can trigger a regret. If a former owner would request seeing the dog again, the deal would fall though for me. This lady may have needs that the dog cannot fulfill. Make sure you have your name on the paperwork. Did they sign a release to you? I had people sign one before taking the dog home as a rescue.


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## Jax08

What @Magwart said.


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## Sabis mom

I agree. No visiting. Not yet. Aside from the stress to the dog, the previous owner needs to let go and move on. She will not do that if you allow visits.


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## LuvShepherds

Do what is best for the dog. I would cut off all direct contact even in the future. Once the dog bonds to you, the original owner is going to be very upset if the dog doesn’t react to her or even remember her all that much. She should be satisfied knowing the dog has a good home and is happy there. 

Congratulations finding the dog you wanted.


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## GSDMUM

atomic said:


> I second what everyone else has said, what I wanted to add that was new is if your dog is fearful and especially overwhelmed by the sudden move (who wouldn’t!) I absolutely would not recommend day care. I worked at a dog daycare for about a month and people have this notion that all the dogs are best friends and do nothing but roll around in the sunshine playing and cuddling all day but the reality is different. When you get 20-25 dogs together in a relatively small area it is chaotic, it’s never the same dogs every time so there is always the hierarchy battle going on. Even confident dogs get stressed, the more submissive ones are downright scared and are prime targets for bullying. ALL of them are more than ready with anticipation to go home hours well before it’s time. Dog daycares exist for a money making business, not the welfare of the dogs. I can almost guarantee all of these dogs would be worlds happier spending the days in their home and having a walker come in the middle of the day for an hour to let them out and spend some one on one time. If you want your dog to become more comfortable and confident, first let him fully adjust to his new life. Then start taking him for rides, sometimes don’t even let him out, and take him to neutral places and build up from there. If you know people with friendly, stable dogs let them try to become friends one at a time.


He used to go to Day care several times a week and did very well, Got great reports and watched on the app cam. He loves other dogs and playing, very high energy. If I see anything to the contrary I will pull him from it. My other three dogs did not like other dogs so they could not go. One went until she got older and then she started to dislike them. I never use dog parks at all and never will, plus after he settles I will be getting a large dog that will be introduced to him by a behaviorist ,out of our home and in a neutral environment. I would only get a dog if HE chooses it. He used to live with 4 other dogs. When I get him a buddy, plus we really want 2 dogs, then I won;t have to bring him to day care.


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## GSDMUM

Jax08 said:


> What @Magwart said.





wolfy dog said:


> It took a foster dog more than 6 months before she was able to be around me in a neutral way, although there was always the spark between her and I but I never wanted her back. Once in a while we would see each other but I kept a hands-off approach as respect to the new owner.
> No physical contact. Block her on FB and send a few emails now and then at first and wean off. Even pictures can trigger a regret. If a former owner would request seeing the dog again, the deal would fall though for me. This lady may have needs that the dog cannot fulfill. Make sure you have your name on the paperwork. Did they sign a release to you? I had people sign one before taking the dog home as a rescue.


Yes. and I agree. She already has 4 dogs, smaller ones and two are afraid of mine so she could not keep him and is away too much due to unforseen circumstances beyond her control.


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## GSDMUM

Yes. and I agree. She already has 4 dogs, smaller ones and two are afraid of mine so she could not keep him and is away too much due to unforseen circumstances beyond her control.


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## GSDMUM

MineAreWorkingline said:


> A dog, especially a German Shepherd, that is bonded to someone else that is trying to get back to its loved ones and home is a loyal dog, not one that has separation anxiety. It is expected breed behavior for this breed. They are not a dog to be handed off easily to the next stranger.
> 
> It will be hard on the dog whether his past owner visits or not. I probably would go with pictures and videos for now. Seeing his loved owner leave him again will be very hard on him. It probably would have been best for all if you had taken a week or so to spend time with the dog while he was still at his prior owners and then maybe spent some time having him at your house for a day and then overnight and built on that but too late for that now.
> 
> I would concentrate on bonding with him now. Do things he likes and enjoys. Take him to some new places, do some exploring. Remember that you are a stranger to him and bonding can take weeks or months or might not even happen at all.


She lives 3 hours away , not possible. The dog had separation anxiety with her. I have not left the house yet but she is doing really well with me, sleeps with me, no whimpering, playing and eating very well, boundless energy. He is not jumpy with noises around here. After one day, while in the yard, I called him in and he responded immediately and came in. It will take a few months to really bond but we are doing very well, surprisingly. He is under all the furniture exploring, looking for items and went through two toy boxes already. I know that if we keep on having contact, the previous owner, I will, and am starting to feel like I am watching HER dog. She loves him but cannot keep him but part of that love is letting go for the dog's sake. There is a dog behaviorist and author in our neighborhood but I forgot her name. I will pay her to write a letter stating that it is best for the dog to just let her go, if indeed that is her professional opinion, whichThe rescue thinks it is fine, which is not helping. Their hearts see the woman grieving for the dog but the dog is #1. It tugs at my heart strings too but I have seen it with different species, upsets the animal. I certainly don't mind sending her updates and little stories and photos or video clips here and there. I think that is fair. The dog won;t suffer but she may find she has to let go as it may be making her hurt more.


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## GSDMUM

GSDMUM said:


> She lives 3 hours away , not possible. The dog had separation anxiety with her. I have not left the house yet but she is doing really well with me, sleeps with me, no whimpering, playing and eating very well, boundless energy. He is not jumpy with noises around here. After one day, while in the yard, I called him in and he responded immediately and came in. It will take a few months to really bond but we are doing very well, surprisingly. He is under all the furniture exploring, looking for items and went through two toy boxes already. I know that if we keep on having contact, the previous owner, I will, and am starting to feel like I am watching HER dog. She loves him but cannot keep him but part of that love is letting go for the dog's sake. There is a dog behaviorist and author in our neighborhood but I forgot her name. I will pay her to write a letter stating that it is best for the dog to just let her go if indeed that is her professional opinion and I would send it. The rescue thinks it is fine, which is not helping. Their hearts see the woman grieving for the dog but the dog is #1. It tugs at my heart strings too but I have seen it with different species, upsets the animal. I think, maybe because he is still a pup at 11 months old.


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## GSDMUM

Magwart said:


> I like the idea of visiting much, much later -- but do it in a neutral place (like a park). Once you bond, the dog will be able to see the former owner and walk away from her -- but not yet.
> 
> I have fostered dogs for many months, and they very much think they are "mine" after so much time. Then they get adopted, and I don't plan to see them -- but we do run into each other from time to time. One of the cutest moments I had in a dog park was when one of my foster-alums came running up, greeted me warmly and then danced back to his new family and pressed against them, looking back at me with a happy expression. He was telling me "these are my people now." It was as it should be and made me feel so very happy for him -- I'd done my job well for him, and he was living his happily-ever-after.
> 
> At dog festivals, when the rescue has a booth, our alumni often come by to visit the booth, and there are many happy reunions with foster volunteers. The dogs always remember the foster families. Yesterday, a five-year-old went nuts with delight when he recognized the guy who fostered him as a puppy! The dogs don't want to go home with the foster family though -- they're joyous about the greeting, and then they are content to continue on their way with their owners. They know their life isn't with us any longer.
> 
> You can get there eventually with this dog, but not yet.





sebrench said:


> Sending photos or even a few videos to former owner occurred to me also.


Yes, I think that would be fair and a nice thing to do.


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## tc68

You've got the right instincts...which is to not allow her to visit until it's bonded to you and/or your husband. While your husband has a kind heart and meant well, he wasn't thinking. I agree with everyone...no visits just pictures/videos for now. And if you don't want to even send pics/vids to her or any contact with her, maybe you can create a IG page for the dog and let the previous owner "see" her that way.


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## GSDMUM

MineAreWorkingline said:


> A dog, especially a German Shepherd, that is bonded to someone else that is trying to get back to its loved ones and home is a loyal dog, not one that has separation anxiety. It is expected breed behavior for this breed. They are not a dog to be handed off easily to the next stranger.
> 
> It will be hard on the dog whether his past owner visits or not. I probably would go with pictures and videos for now. Seeing his loved owner leave him again will be very hard on him. It probably would have been best for all if you had taken a week or so to spend time with the dog while he was still at his prior owners and then maybe spent some time having him at your house for a day and then overnight and built on that but too late for that now.
> 
> I would concentrate on bonding with him now. Do things he likes and enjoys. Take him to some new places, do some exploring. Remember that you are a stranger to him and bonding can take weeks or months or might not even happen at all.


I replied to this somewhere below...don't know what happened. Essentially she lives 3 hours away so that would not have been possible but a good idea. The owner told me afterward that she has separation anxiety with her and she had to crate her during work hours.


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## GSDMUM

GSDchoice said:


> Yep agree with everybody!
> It's just confusing for the dog, and painful too -
> he will think that she has come to pick him up from his "boarding" stay and will be upset when she leaves again without him.
> 
> Maybe you could take some videos of him at home with you, walking with you, etc and share those instead,
> explaining that it will be too traumatic and confusing for him to see her again so soon...?


I agree!


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## Dunkirk

I'd get your husband to talk to her and explain what happened, the dog recognizing her voice and after she hung up, he kept bringing the ball to throw, not back to me but brought it to the PC speaker instead about 6 times. He can tell her you're upset about her having to wait until the dog can cope emotionally with any interaction with her, and how disappointed she must be.


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## atomic

@GSDMUM I hate to say it but unless the dog straight up attacks someone or another dog and an incident has to be noted ALL the dogs get “great reports”. If they tell you your dog hates it and is unhappy that’s $$$ out of their pocket. All the dogs gets a report card daily that’s “supposed” to be personal but they’re copy and pasted for every dog. Also some do enjoy playing at times but often it’s also defending themselves, or being the aggressor.


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## LuvShepherds

My dogs never loved daycare but I had no other options at the time. I had no dog sitters and needed them. My current dog went as a puppy and hated it. It made him a bit reactive. If a dog seems to like it, I would use it if I had to, but they won’t take intact dogs.


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## atomic

I understand if it’s your only option, but I believe the OP stays at home and was wanting to use the daycare as an outlet for socialization. I may have misunderstood.


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## GSDMUM

atomic said:


> I understand if it’s your only option, but I believe the OP stays at home and was wanting to use the daycare as an outlet for socialization. I may have misunderstood.


No, I was going to use it because the original owner used it to burn off his excess energy and watched him on a CAM app. I will watch the entire time and if I see any tussles or anything as you say, I will not use them, simple as that. It is a highly rated facility and some friends I know use it and are thrilled. My boarding kennel, on the other hand does not have one so while I am away I always use them so I don't have to worry. They never mix any dogs together and don't intend to. I drive 2 hrs to get there but it is on a farm, and staff stay on the property 24hs a day.


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## wolfy dog

Just thought of the following that I never thought of before posting my previous post. I got Deja at 9 months from the breeder. He lives 1 hour away from me and I board her whenever we go away for a few days. She is crazy happy to see him there. Until last time, when I saw her body language as "Hey, you are leaving me? Don't go, WAIT!!" while holding back when he took her to the boarding kennels. She is 6 years old now, so it has taken her a while. But ever since I got her our bond has been incredible. OP, maybe this helps you decide how to handle visits?


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## Sunsilver

Just wanted to chime in here that every dog is different. I adopted a dog whose owner had to go into a nursing home. After he was gone, she was with two different people, neither of which wanted her. Her weigh dropped to 35 lbs. by the time I took her home.

Two weeks after I took her home, I went to visit my uncle, the last person who had her. He was on a farm, so I let her run loose when I went to the barn to help with chores. My aunt came to the barn a short time later, and said she thought she'd taken off to her old home (which was the next farm north of theirs).

I ran down the lane, calling and calling, and couldn't find her. I finally decided to get in my car and drive to her old home.
I found I'd left the car window down, and there she was, curled up in the back seat! She knew these people didn't want her, and had already decided who she belonged to!

I also took her to visit her original owner, in the nursing home. She was very glad to see him, and jumped up on him, and nearly knocked him over. But when it came time to leave, she immediately turned and followed me... ?


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## readaboutdogs

Clipper and Moo were both previously my adult kids dogs that came to live with me. They would be excited to see them when they came over, but I never thought they really got upset about not going back home with them, maybe moo a little, my son would still come by and take him on rides, to the lake etc before he moved out of state, but moo always seemed happy after the adventure, come in, eat, and take a snooze! It was 3 or 4 months before my daughter came back in town with Clipper, he was happy to see her, but didn't seem to get upset after she left, she had brought him over a lot before he came to stay and he already felt at home I think! Plus his brother Cody was here! Different thing than OP, since my kids would come by, but agree with others since this is a person that's not really a friend that might come by or family member, I'd probably not want visits.


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## atomic

If you are **** bent on using a dog daycare, that’s fine but I’m just telling you my experience as a life long dog owner and as someone who was an employee at a top rated facility. If I was home all day I’d create an outlet for my dog and not just drop him off somewhere, this place had 24/7 cameras too and overnight boarders are left out in the open without being crated. Watching and being there can be different. You mentioned the dog having anxiety issues and it may or may not be the case but the daycare could be contributing to it along with his (her?) separation from the previous family.


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## JoshMing

I agree with the poster who said wait six months. I'm sure the previous owner is feeling a ton of guilt, but you have to do what is best for your new pet. He/she will adapt to you. You sound like a very caring, loving pet owner so don't confuse your new baby. My vet told me when I adopted my Sheppie a year ago, they live in the moment. They really do. They are not like children. I'm sure your new sheppie would recognize the previous owner, but that is not good for her/him. Just love them, and be consistent and all will be well!


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## 4K9Mom

GSDMUM said:


> My husband is in hot water, He has such a good heart but feels terrible now that it has made a problem.



If she mentions what your husband said, I'd just say, "that was before we realized the dog has issues that require so much time, energy and money."

I stopped reading through all the replies because they all seem to say the same thing. 

I'd like to elaborate. Dogs don't forget their previous owners. I wouldn't _ever_ let her meet my dog again. It has nothing to do with her giving up the dog either. I'm not that punitive. I don't really care about her. It's all about my dog and my duty to her.

It's too confusing. When my dogs come into my home, I give them a new name, their own bed, their own crate, new toys, new everything and they start a brand new life. I usually transition them off their old food as soon as possible unless there is a veterinary reason why I can't.

I want my dogs to know, this is _your home forever_, and there is no going back. 

BTW, there is common wisdom that it takes dogs three months to feel like their new home is really theirs. My experience (with shelter dogs I've brought home) is that it's at least a year before they fully relax. It's the small things: the way they sleep, or the way they snuggle up to existing dogs, or eat their dinners more slowly, etc. It's even longer if the dog has behavioral issues, like anxiety.

There is NO way I would let my dog see their old owner before two years.

Well, I wouldn't ever. But certainly never before the two years are up.


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## Nike777!

GSDMUM said:


> Okay, We adopted a 1 year old pup a few days ago, brought to us by the owner that had to give him up for very valid reasons ( personal, family), a few days ago and the liason from the rescue org. I like them both but the woman was crying giving him up and my husband said to her , "You are welcome to visit anytime you want". She perked up and was so happy...BUT...the pup already ( just found this out) has separation anxiety. He went crazy and panicked trying to climb the fence right after she left and it took us a half hour to get her back into the house from the yard. I am going to try to leave the house tonight for a few minutes and have my husband home and work up gradually to being gone longer each time, then when noone is home. I am not crating her as her owner told me after the fact that he does pee in his crate and hates it when she goes to work. I am home and do not work so it's better for him but, visiting? She called me via facebook video chat last night and was talking to the dog . They dog recognized her voice and after she hung up, he kept bringing the ball to throw, not back to me but brought it to the PC speaker instead about 6 times! I like the woman and normally anyone can visit but I am really worried that he will get so excited to see her and will feel abandoned again when she leaves, backing up any progress I have made, I might hire a trainer if I have a problem. I just want what's best for the dog, it's nothing personal at all. The liason thinks it should be fine but I have seen baby primates raised by a human that gave him up and so many like that and when the previous owner came to visit the pet monkey in a sanctuary, the poor thing cried and reached out and was so upset for the whole day. I need you opinions. I told the woman after a few months she can try but if he reacts like he did before and is panicking that it will reinforce his separation issues. (I will be doing Doggy Day Care and some agility with him to build his confidence as he is fearful.) He and I bonded within 24 hours and he really is happy. playful, eating well, etc right after all that within a 24 hr period. I know the liason comes on here also. I really like her and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but the dog is my main concern. I may hire a behaviorist or two to get their expert opinions.


Not a good idea! Dog is your main priority. Don't confuse him! She will get over it! No visiting!!!


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## Buckelke

I would contact her, tell her how the dog is doing, reassure her the dog has a good home and is happy, well-fed, etc. Then politely tell her your husband made a mistake and you do not want a stranger in your home. Tell her the best thing for the dog is to move on. What if you can't get rid of her? What if she wants 'visiting rights'. What if she decides to sue you for them? Cut the cord, NOW. And bring in the rescue group; they NEVER should have given out your identity. We bought a house and needed a lawyer to get rid of the previous owner. They could not grasp why we did not want to entertain their friends and relatives they wanted to show the house to or visit to see how we had decorated the place, or just trip down memory lane. There was more, but you get the idea.


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## middleofnowhere

So the first owner lives 3 hours away. ... My take on this is that a good visit for an afternoon (or a couple of hours) could be a win all around. And if it isn't, this will not happen frequently, you will recover quickly, etc. 

I just don't see the catastrophe in this.


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## LuvShepherds

It depends on how stable she is. Even though they have both owned the same dog, that is all they have in common. She is a compete stranger.


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## BigOzzy2018

No no no no!!!!!!!.


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## GSDMUM

middleofnowhere said:


> So the first owner lives 3 hours away. ... My take on this is that a good visit for an afternoon (or a couple of hours) could be a win all around. And if it isn't, this will not happen frequently, you will recover quickly, etc.
> 
> I just don't see the catastrophe in this.


I had asked a prominant trainer in the area, author and on TV too, locally known, and she said to wait 3 months and try it once and see how the dog reacts. IF badly then no more visits, if it does not affect him, then it is okay on occasion. She said it takes about 3 months to acclimate a dog to it's new home, like us moving to a different country, to feel at home.


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## hirakawa199006

yes and a no 

Yes, only if the owners agreeing seeing the dog on a neutral location

No, if they suspect there is wrongdoing. 

Normally I would let them see over a few months so the situation calmed down a little.


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## CarolP

4K9Mom said:


> If she mentions what your husband said, I'd just say, "that was before we realized the dog has issues that require so much time, energy and money."
> 
> I stopped reading through all the replies because they all seem to say the same thing.
> 
> I'd like to elaborate. Dogs don't forget their previous owners. I wouldn't _ever_ let her meet my dog again. It has nothing to do with her giving up the dog either. I'm not that punitive. I don't really care about her. It's all about my dog and my duty to her.
> 
> It's too confusing. When my dogs come into my home, I give them a new name, their own bed, their own crate, new toys, new everything and they start a brand new life. I usually transition them off their old food as soon as possible unless there is a veterinary reason why I can't.
> 
> I want my dogs to know, this is _your home forever_, and there is no going back.
> 
> BTW, there is common wisdom that it takes dogs three months to feel like their new home is really theirs. My experience (with shelter dogs I've brought home) is that it's at least a year before they fully relax. It's the small things: the way they sleep, or the way they snuggle up to existing dogs, or eat their dinners more slowly, etc. It's even longer if the dog has behavioral issues, like anxiety.
> 
> There is NO way I would let my dog see their old owner before two years.
> 
> Well, I wouldn't ever. But certainly never before the two years are up.


It really helped me to read your reply. I just adopted a 9 year old GSD from original owners who just didn't want him anymore. I have done everything for the past 3-1/2 months to make him feel comfortable, but I know he still grieves for them. I just assumed he would be fine after 3 months with me, but now I understand it can take up to a year for him to feel comfortable. Knowing German Shepherds, it's very possible that he may NEVER feel comfortable living with me. That would really make me sad.


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