# For those of you who have had fosters....



## WarrantsWifey (Dec 18, 2010)

I need your fostering experience PLEASE!!

Okay, I know I've been posting a LOT about Kizzy but this one I'm posting because my hubby has me thinking....

Kizzy and Killian have become bonded. Like _REALLY_ bonded.... I was talking to my husband, I've been sending him video and pictures to him over this time and he's brought up a concern. They do EVERYTHING together, they sleep together(even to the point of wanting to share a kennel), they cuddle, eat, even share a bowl from time to time, one doesn't leave the room without the other, or the other freaking out. 

My husband brought up the concern, when/if we adopt her out. How is Killian going to react?! Is it normal for the dogs to bond this much with the foster? Is he gonna find a bond like this again, if we decide not to keep her and get another dog at a later date?!


















This is RIGHT NOW!!! As I type this!!


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## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

Sometimes the dog bonds to the foster, but they are fine when the foster leaves. Micah is our most playful with the fosters, and he loves when we bring home one with lots of energy to run and wrestle with. Sometimes I feel a bit bad when his "friend" gets adopted, but eventually we bring another one home for him to play with. He's never shown any issue when they leave. No "depression" or anything of the sort.

You are getting very attached to this pup. I'd really urge you to try to remember you are the middle road to her having a better life. If you keep her, you're keeping others from being helped by you . Just try to remember. The first fosters are ALWAYS the hardest to let go of. You feel like you're getting rid of your own pet, but when you get to see updates and pics 6 months, a year, later, it makes it all worth it.


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## WarrantsWifey (Dec 18, 2010)

Oh no, see I'm not bonded to her.... She could go tomorrow and I'd be (semi) just fine. I've always known that I'm not keeping her, I've always know that I'm just the middle road for her. I'm setting her up for her next family. Training her to make it so the new family has one less reason to give her up if they ever do.... I want to set her up for life. Get her started on the right foot. 

My hubby is the one who is thinking about keeping her....


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

I have had some fosters that my own dogs really bonded with, but there doesn't seem to be any fuss when the foster gets adopted. 

I tend to pay more attention to the stress of having fosters come and go in quick succession. That appears to be harder on my dogs than having their play buddies get adopted.
Sheilah


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## Lin (Jul 3, 2007)

Yes, it can be that normal for the dog to bond so strong, and yes he will be fine and bond well with other dogs. 

For the most part, fosters bonded strongly to Tessa or Logan but no issues once the dog was adopted. On one occasion an italian greyhound puppy and Tessa bonded so strongly Tessa DID go through a short depression after, it was pretty horrible watching her mope around and sigh dramatically. But that was when Tessa was my only permanent dog, Killian will still have Jaz once the pup is gone. The only other time Tessa had an issue was after Logan passed away but she made it through that too. 

Only other out of the ordinary experience I've had was when a foster bonded so strongly to Tessa and then I adopted Logan. The foster I had at the time was 2 years old and had not played with another dog since leaving her littermates. She was completely defeated from neglect and abuse, and once she came around she clung to Tessa. When I adopted Logan, she became very possessive for a bit and didn't want Logan to play with Tessa. But she made it through that rather quickly still. 

When you foster, sometimes you do have these super tight bonds developing. It can be between you and the foster, or your dog and the foster. I've seen it the most in the cases where the dog was severely neglected or abused; in which case a little love and fair treatment can go such a long way. But just like Rerun said you have to remember you're the middle of the road. You can help so many more dogs by continuing to foster, and everything WILL be ok.


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## WarrantsWifey (Dec 18, 2010)

Thanks so much for the advice.... I'm not worried about me as much as I am about him... But if he will bounce back then there is no worries!! I'm excited for her to find her forever home. I know I just have one more week until she goes to petsmart for pet adoption day. One more week to train leave it.... <3 Awesome!!


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## vat (Jul 23, 2010)

I have no advice but just love that last picture. Cuteness factor is off the scale!


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## GSD_Xander (Nov 27, 2010)

vat said:


> I have no advice but just love that last picture. Cuteness factor is off the scale!


YES!!! That picture is so cute - I think I'd be a foster failure - I'd want to keep them all...I'm sure I wouldn't but I might have weak moments


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

I don't have any advice since my foster's odds of getting adopted are slim to none and slim is on vacation. But I have wondered that because Tessa and Dharma have gotten pretty tight. Last week when Tessa had surgery and had to stay overnight in the hospital Dharma came home from day care and looked all over for her and whined constantly cuz she couldn't find her. She was soooo glad to see her the next day!!


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## gsdraven (Jul 8, 2009)

I think Raven is wishing that Kaiser would leave but he's here to stay.

After our first foster was adopted, she moped around with me for the weekend but I think that was her tapping into my feelings. We dog sat him a few times and when I would come back without him she would look out the door and then look back at me a few times like "uh, Mom, you forgot to get Batman out of the car". 

The other fosters after him she was ok with leaving and didn't look for them anymore. I think she gets that we are a temporary home and they aren't staying.


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

I have nothing to add, but just have to say- Killian is truly one amazingly beautiful boy! In all the pics you post, I just can't get over how handsome he is!


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## WarrantsWifey (Dec 18, 2010)

wildo said:


> I have nothing to add, but just have to say- Killian is truly one amazingly beautiful boy! In all the pics you post, I just can't get over how handsome he is!


Thanks!! I am just head over heels for my boy!


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## GSDElsa (Jul 22, 2009)

Elsa hasn't been particularily moved when a foster or friend staying at the house has left. Granted.............those are some freaking cute pictures. YOu truly have an amazing dog there to watch over that little puppy so well!


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## RunShepherdRun (Oct 5, 2009)

He might get sad when she leaves, and might search and mope around for a few days. Getting sad every once in a while can be part of life though, even for our beloved dogs. He is very much loved, so he will overcome it. Feli got very sad over two foster cats. I took her for a long walk with her best dog friend, and did things she liked (training, walking with human and dog friends, special foods, extra attention) to help her overcome the loss.

I would only adopt if all of you want the puppy, including you. And not keep a foster solely as a friend for the resident dog. I kept Chip b/c we all bonded and none of us could let him go. Our only foster failure, all others Feli didn't miss, and I could let go more or less easily.

And yes, what a wonderful foster uncle your Killian is! He gives the puppy a great gift for life, the experience of a kind and caring large dog who is not her momma dog. Way to go, Killian! There may be many more puppies in need for you to help in the future.

Thank you for fostering.


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## BlackPuppy (Mar 29, 2007)

Puppy feels like he's found his "family". Killian is really being a good brother. None of my dogs were that close to puppies I've brought in, but I've seen it at other people's houses. It's very cute. 

When it's time for the puppy to go to a new home, you need to talk to your dogs and let them know what's happening. Send them pictures in your head. They can understand these things. 

Darn dogs..I gotta go.


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## WarrantsWifey (Dec 18, 2010)

See, here is now a new problem, husband is interested in keeping her. I haven't explained to my three year old that were NOT. I'm the only one who is impartial, and I say impartail because I've always been told were NOT keeping her, were just fostering. But now Hubby is thinking about keeping her. 


He is SO DARN DIFFICULT!!! :crazy::crazy::crazy:


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