# In loving memory of Oliver (Ollie) Pratt



## Rob P (7 mo ago)

First of all, want to say hello to everyone. I used to be a member on this forum some time ago when I first got my boy, Ollie. I stepped away for many years, but after our loss last night, it has brought me back here.

We lost our big boy last night, unexpectedly. We came home from work and after being home for 10 mins or so, he collapsed. His legs went stiff for a moment and then relaxed and he rolled a little onto his belly and let out a big moan/groan that seemed to last forever. I fell to the floor with him and was trying to wake him and get him up, screaming his name, crying. He was just gone.... I tried to be with him and help him. Even thought I could try CPR but didn't know how on a dog. It all happened so fast. I feel terrible guilt like there's more I could have done, should have done, and maybe he'd be here still. 

We miss him terribly. Our house is so eerily quiet now. I've spent my morning at work reading what it could have been and if there's anything I could have done. The vet thinks it was a cardiac or neurologic event and she said there's nothing I could have done. I think I've watched every video on how to give a dog CPR this morning. I wasn't able to help Ollie, but maybe in the future...

He was 9 years old, would have been 10 in March of '23. Because of his size, 110 lbs, the vet had been calling him a senior for quite some time. I just didn't expect to lose him that soon. 

Just want to use this outlet to say, Goodbye sweet boy. You were deeply loved by everyone around you and you were our son's best friend. We love you and miss you, Ollie Bear.


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

So sorry for your loss. What a lovely boy.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Sorry for your loss! He was a handsome dog.


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## Honey Maid (Dec 25, 2020)

I am so sorry for your loss. It hit home, as that is how I lost my English Bulldog. I came home one day, we went outside, he was barking and playing in the snow. All of a sudden I turned and saw him struggling in the snow. At first I'd thought he was just giving himself a 'snow bath', but I knew something was wrong, he was on his right side, and 'swimming'. My first reaction also, HARLEY! HARLEY! I ran over picked him up, and could tell he was fading fast, ran him up into the house set him on his bed in front of the fire, and he passed away. My Vet said the same, either a heart attack, or massive stroke. Harley was 10 years old, a smart, smaller, fit and active English Bulldog. 

I'm sure giving your dog CPR, would not have made a difference. Give yourself a hug for me!


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## Squidwardp (Oct 15, 2019)

Very sorry for your loss. He was beautiful and from the photos, a gentle giant.

We lost our previous shepherd, a rescue, at appox. age 9. Who knows how old a rescue really is, but she seemed like a very young adult dog when we got her. 

Always too soon. I would not beat yourself up about it. Sometimes things come on very suddenly.


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## Rob P (7 mo ago)

Honey Maid said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. It hit home, as that is how I lost my English Bulldog. I came home one day, we went outside, he was barking and playing in the snow. All of a sudden I turned and saw him struggling in the snow. At first I'd thought he was just giving himself a 'snow bath', but I knew something was wrong, he was on his right side, and 'swimming'. My first reaction also, HARLEY! HARLEY! I ran over picked him up, and could tell he was fading fast, ran him up into the house set him on his bed in front of the fire, and he passed away. My Vet said the same, either a heart attack, or massive stroke. Harley was 10 years old, a smart, smaller, fit and active English Bulldog.
> 
> I'm sure giving your dog CPR, would not have made a difference. Give yourself a hug for me!


Thank you. I appreciate your comments very much. I'm not sure CPR would have helped either. I've read that it's a very slim chance that it's successful in the dog staying alive after that - 5-10%. 

The comforting part is that he waited until we were home and it happened at a time our son was not home. It's not like we came home and found him and he was already gone. We usually stop to get our son after work before going home. Yesterday, we were going to go out to dinner so we decided to go home before getting our son from day care, and that's when it happened.

Just to be able to give him one last kiss on his big furry face.... I suppose we all say that.


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## Rob P (7 mo ago)

Squidwardp said:


> Very sorry for your loss. He was beautiful and from the photos, a gentle giant.
> 
> We lost our previous shepherd, a rescue, at appox. age 9. Who knows how old a rescue really is, but she seemed like a very young adult dog when we got her.
> 
> Always too soon. I would not beat yourself up about it. Sometimes things come on very suddenly.


He really was. Not around other male dogs, he didn't like to be around them. But around children, he was a big pillow for them and although it took him a while to get there, he became a protector for us and our son. He was always at our son's side. 

Thank you for your comments.


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## doubleroll (Jul 5, 2011)

So sorry for your loss. Ollie was a beautiful boy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family…


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## Crazy shep (9 mo ago)

Sorry for your loss, he was a beautiful dog and am sure a lived family member. All the best through this time.


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## Rob P (7 mo ago)

doubleroll said:


> So sorry for your loss. Ollie was a beautiful boy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family…





Crazy shep said:


> Sorry for your loss, he was a beautiful dog and am sure a lived family member. All the best through this time.


Thank you both very much. He was definitely loved and he loved us. Followed us everywhere haha.


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## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Brings back memories of how we lost our girl Maizey a few years back, which was sadly too similar to what you describe. It occurred to me after the fact that things might have played out differently if I had thought to maybe use our daughter's Epi pen on her to maybe bring her back to buy some time to get to the emergency vet. Eventually I stopped beating myself up about it and accepted that it was ultimately her time - whether in that moment or if not then sometime soon after. She was also 9 and I thought we had many years left together. Breaks my heart any time I hear someone else going through something similar.

I hope you can find some peace in the days ahead and will keep you in my thoughts.


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## Rob P (7 mo ago)

Bknmaizey said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. Brings back memories of how we lost our girl Maizey a few years back, which was sadly too similar to what you describe. It occurred to me after the fact that things might have played out differently if I had thought to maybe use our daughter's Epi pen on her to maybe bring her back to buy some time to get to the emergency vet. Eventually I stopped beating myself up about it and accepted that it was ultimately her time - whether in that moment or if not then sometime soon after. She was also 9 and I thought we had many years left together. Breaks my heart any time I hear someone else going through something similar.
> 
> I hope you can find some peace in the days ahead and will keep you in my thoughts.


Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to tell myself that I need to let myself feel happy when I think about him and the life we had together. We had a lot of good times and he was a great fur friend! The loss is too fresh though, I can't even talk about it without balling. 

Can I ask, in your situation, did you have them do any investigation as to what happened?


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## peachygeorgia (Oct 5, 2021)

We lost a senior dog that way last year, came home to her curled up, went to pet her, only to realize she was limp, the last thing she did was look up at me and then passed within minutes of us getting home, its almost like she waited for us so we could say goodbye  
terribly sorry for your loss, he was a beautiful boy ❤


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## cagal (Sep 3, 2013)

I’m so sorry for your loss. Ollie was such a handsome boy.


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## Dunkirk (May 7, 2015)

I'm so very sorry for your loss, I wish there were words to make it feel better ....


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## WNGD (Jan 15, 2005)

When it's their time it's their time, don't beat yourself up or second guess.
What a beautiful boy, they don't want us to be sad, they want us to make room in our hearts for another little life in time, if possible. jmo


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## Dustinb80 (10 mo ago)

[email protected], sorry for your loss.


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## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

Rob P said:


> Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to tell myself that I need to let myself feel happy when I think about him and the life we had together. We had a lot of good times and he was a great fur friend! The loss is too fresh though, I can't even talk about it without balling.
> 
> Can I ask, in your situation, did you have them do any investigation as to what happened?


Well, first I should say I was a wreck at the emergency vet and was not clear headed by any stretch. It was midnight on a Sunday night and I drove there like a maniac, carried her in and had them try to bring her back for probably 15 minutes when she was long passed gone. They told me that based on the way she presented it was either cancer that had been undetected (hemangiosarcoma) which caused massive internal bleeding or poisoning. To this day - three years later - I still question whether it wasn’t poison but the vet told me that it was 95% likely it was cancer. Still, I have that nagging doubt for sure. 

The only way to know for sure was an autopsy which, in addition to being expensive, would only satisfy idle curiosity. And the vet strongly recommended that it would be better for me to move on from the doubt and let it go. I’m grateful honestly that she was so candid and direct with me about it. 

There’s a part of me that will also wonder if it was poison and if I had gotten her there earlier during the day could they have done something. Or like I said, if it was poison and I had used the Epi pen to keep her alive until we got to the ER vet. Even writing this, it brings all those doubts to the surface. But I have to forgive myself and know that I did right by her for 9 amazing years where she was my best friend and that’s something to cherish and feel blessed about. 

And by the way, it was a journey getting to the point where I can share this openly and being able to acknowledge my doubts while having kindness for myself (ie not being hard on myself bc of those doubts). I went to local pet loss/grief support groups for a bit after it happened. That was really hard but also cathartic. It was before I found this board, too, so I didn’t have this outlet. The best advice I got from someone was to write down all the memories you can when they strike you. They’ll strike you in spurts and then as you write them down, more will come to mind. I did it in Notes on my phone. I probably wrote down 200+ during the first month. Helps because the memories are still fresh and also it’ll immerse you in happy memories that you can go back to when you feel up to it. Plus I put all the photos of her into one folder. So now I can go back and read the memories and scroll through the photos any time and not worry that I’ve lost them to time.


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## car2ner (Apr 9, 2014)

We can get stu
ck at the bargaining phase of grief. We've learned something... we've changed our minds... we want to try something else... we can do better... but none of that changes what happened. 
It is normal, but hard.


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## Rob P (7 mo ago)

peachygeorgia said:


> We lost a senior dog that way last year, came home to her curled up, went to pet her, only to realize she was limp, the last thing she did was look up at me and then passed within minutes of us getting home, its almost like she waited for us so we could say goodbye
> terribly sorry for your loss, he was a beautiful boy ❤


I swear, I keep reading about stories where they wait for us to come home. Too many to be coincidence. I'm just grateful that is what we got as well. 
Thank you for your kind words.


cagal said:


> I’m so sorry for your loss. Ollie was such a handsome boy.


Thank you for that. I appreciate it.


Dunkirk said:


> I'm so very sorry for your loss, I wish there were words to make it feel better ....


Thank you. I wish there was too.

I was talking to my wife about it this past weekend. I think my biggest struggle is that everything just keeps going and moving on without him. It's like he never existed, he's just gone and I'm the only one missing him, wishing he was still here.

I get that's how the world works, it just makes it hard.


WNGD said:


> When it's their time it's their time, don't beat yourself up or second guess.
> What a beautiful boy, they don't want us to be sad, they want us to make room in our hearts for another little life in time, if possible. jmo


Thank you. That's probably been my biggest struggle, the beating myself up part. We still have 2 other dogs, both french bulldogs. One of them is old and 3 dogs was a lot so we'll wait on getting another one, but there will definitely be another one.


Dustinb80 said:


> [email protected], sorry for your loss.


Thank you.


Bknmaizey said:


> Well, first I should say I was a wreck at the emergency vet and was not clear headed by any stretch. It was midnight on a Sunday night and I drove there like a maniac, carried her in and had them try to bring her back for probably 15 minutes when she was long passed gone. They told me that based on the way she presented it was either cancer that had been undetected (hemangiosarcoma) which caused massive internal bleeding or poisoning. To this day - three years later - I still question whether it wasn’t poison but the vet told me that it was 95% likely it was cancer. Still, I have that nagging doubt for sure.
> 
> The only way to know for sure was an autopsy which, in addition to being expensive, would only satisfy idle curiosity. And the vet strongly recommended that it would be better for me to move on from the doubt and let it go. I’m grateful honestly that she was so candid and direct with me about it.
> 
> ...


Thank you for sharing. Part of me wishes I would have done the autopsy to figure out what happened but ultimately, what would it do? Just satisfy curiosity and hopefully prove that nothing I could have done would have made a difference.

I like your idea about the notes. I think I'm going to start that. That's a beautiful way to remember them.


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