# I lost my Maxwell, hemangiosarcoma of the liver



## Maxwell's mommy (Mar 3, 2015)

Maxwell was the best thing that ever happened to me. 5 1/2 years ago I was looking on Petfinder.com and there he was, such a beautiful dog, I knew I had to adopt him. I went down to the APL and saw him. He was so sad and scared, sitting at the back of his cage. I knelt down and he slowly came to me, smelling my hand and allowing me to pet him. They brought us into the playroom and he walked over to me and sat right in my lap. That was it, we had found each other. Soulmates, best friends forever. We both needed unconditional love, safety, and comfort. I promised him from that day on, he would never want or need for anything, and I would make sure with everything I had, he would always feel loved and safe. He brought so much to my life, he was everything I could ever ask for. It was me and him, partners against the world. 

Through a few moves, ups and downs, different jobs and loves, he was my constant, my rock. All he had to do was look at me with those big, beautiful eyes, lay down next to me as close as he could, and nothing else mattered. He was perfect. Perfect for me. He would lay next to me all night, no matter what. Wherever I was in the house, there he'd be. That meant the world to me. I wanted, each minute of his life to show him how much he meant to me. I knew he had a horrible past with previous "owners" and months on end at kennels and that brought a feeling of uncertainty and fear to him. 

I was so conscience of everything I did, I tried to always make him feel comforted and loved. I loved to nuzzle in his furry neck. I loved the way we would lay on the couch together, either me lying on his back or him lying at my feet. We would get all cuddled up and felt no need to move until we absolutely had to. That's all we needed, each other. He'd tap at the door of the bathroom with his paw, as to say come on, let me in. Sometimes he'd choose to enter, other times he'd lay right outside until I came out. Either way, was close to me, protecting me. He was so proud on our walks. If we passed a stranger, he'd bark, watch them, and then after we had passed I would pat him on his back and say "good boy Boobers" (that was my nickname for him), he'd perk up, head held high, and wag his tail as we kept on our way. When I would pick up the pace and start a little jog, he got so excited, smiling as wide as can be. He loved squirrels and any other land critter he could set his eyes on. 

His senses were impeccable. He could spot things a mile away, hear sounds that escaped me and the sense of smell...whenever I got a new outfit, he knew. It was amazing. He'd walk up to me and just smell away, as if to say, "new outfit, eh?" He loved his comforts too, big pillows, comfy blankets and a soft warm doggy bed. I wanted to spoil him as best as I could. Whatever I could afford, I wanted him to have. Sweaters, hoodies, even a pair of Christmas jammies with legs and all, he loved and proudly wore out on our walks. He loved my homemade chicken stock, especially when poured over his usual dinner time food. He never begged, really. Just quietly sit next to you, hoping and waiting that something would drop. Trust me, when it did, he found it. Sometimes he may tap your leg to remind you that he was there while you were eating, but that was as far as the begging would go. 

One of the funniest things he would do is when he was eating, if he heard something he should be barking at he'd try to do both at the same time. Munching away he'd throw in a low bark. It was so adorable. When he would dream, which was pretty often, his whole body would go into these waves and movements, I couldn't get enough of it. He was so big, 130 lbs and to see him just wiggling about and his paws quivering, it just made me smile. Come to think of it, pretty much everything he did made me smile. I could be having the worst day, come home, and within minutes my heart and mind would heal. Just the look on his face when I'd walk through the door. He'd always be right there, within a foot or two of the opening door. Just as happy as can be. Talk about feeling so loved. If I had to do something before we took our walk, I'd make sure to bring out his leash and place it on the table so he knew, even though there may be a delay, we indeed were taking our evening walk. i didn't want him to think I'd forgotten. He always knew he'd be getting a treat, too. If mommy had to leave, 9 times out of 10, he would be getting a little something on her return. The few times I couldn't bring him something I would bring out one of his Milk Bones. It was so cute, he'd look at it and turn away, like he was saying "no, thank you". 

There are not enough words to describe how I felt about my beloved Maxwell. I wish I could describe every emotion, every moment he brought me joy. There are so many and I miss him so much. My life was so full with him in it. I never wanted for a hug, or love, or a friend. I had it all. He gave me it all. I know I tried to do the same for him, every moment of every day. He deserved that and the world and more. When I would wake up, and there he'd be right next to me, either sitting or lying next to me, that's all I needed to start the day. When he'd look at me out of the corner of his eye from the couch when I'd leave, I just felt so good. He was keeping his eye on me, I loved it. I wish with all my heart, he was with me right now. The nights are so empty and lonely. We would sit down and watch our shows and do our routine until it was bed time. I miss that so much. I thank God I was blessed with him, I prayed for him all the time. I never wanted our time to end. 

Friday night he was feeling fine. I got home from work we did our usual walk and came home to relax and I gave him his bone. All of a sudden a hour or so later, he showed some discomfort. He started walking around trying to get comfortable. He got sick, and then laid down with me, still agitated but trying to just lay with me. The next morning, yesterday (Saturday) he was lethargic and wouldn't even take a small piece of fresh roasted turkey. I knew something was wrong and took him to Great Lakes Vet Clinic. His gums started turning pale grey on the way. We rushed him in and found after an ultrasound his belly was filled with blood. An undetected mass had ruptured. They went ahead with diagnostic testing and saw all his tests, urinalysis, blood, x-Rays, were not showing anything negative. They said he was an excellent candidate for surgery. We decided to have it done that same night at the Westpark Animal Hospital. My best friend and I Jacqueline rushed him over there and the surgeon was very positive. It could be a cyst, a hemotoma, or a benign or malignant Tumor. An hour or so later they began surgery, 20 min later they called me in. They found 3 tumors on his liver that were inoperable and were going to rupture. He wasn't going to live the rest of the life he was meant to. He passed away. What is so hard is that this all happened within 24 hours. They said these types of tumors are undetectable and show no signs until they rupture. I can't believe he's gone. He was so healthy and active all the way up to late Friday night. 

He made me feel so happy, so complete. 

I thank God he brought him to me, I pray to God he unites us again when it is my time to leave this earth. Until then, I just hope and pray with all of my heart and soul, that he is here with me in spirit and can feel my love, each day growing. I miss you, Maxwell. I love you, Maxwell. Please wait for me and guide my way to you when it is my time. When that day comes, we can play and run in the snow, the leaves, the water. We can cuddle up close and keep each other loved and safe for all eternity. Til that day comes, stay with me, close to me, know that I will miss you so much until that day and know that my love will do nothing but grow and keep growing. I love you 
Mommy


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## Maxwell's mommy (Mar 3, 2015)




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## RZZNSTR (Jan 24, 2015)

That was a great tribute to Maxwell! I am so very sorry for your loss!


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## NancyJ (Jun 15, 2003)

So sorry, this has hit many of us and it is just so sad to see a dog who should be in his prime go with this. <hugs>


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## ddvv (Mar 7, 2011)

RIP Maxwell, he is waiting for you at the bridge.


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## Debanneball (Aug 28, 2014)

What an amazing wonderful life the two of you had. Maxwell will always be with you as he has taken over a piece of your heart forever. So sorry for your loss.


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your sudden tragic loss. Your tribute was lovely, and touching. 
Run Free Maxwell :halogsd:


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## Shade (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm very sorry for your loss :hugs: That was a beautiful tribute


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

There are tears in my coffee after reading your moving tribute to your beloved Maxwell. He took a piece of your heart along with him and now he will be watching over you from above. 

Hemangiosarcoma is a hideous, silent killer that has taken dogs from many of us on this board. My Remo was full out chasing deer on a Sunday and died four days later of this dreaded disease. 

Please know you and Maxwell are in my good thoughts at this sad time.


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## Jelpy (Nov 8, 2009)

What an amazing boy you had, and how lucky you were to find each other. 

We grieve with you. 

Jelpy


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## Daisy&Lucky's Mom (Apr 24, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Maxwell. That disease takes far to many of our beloved companions. My thoughts and prayers are w/ you.I personally believe they continue to0 watch over us when their physical bodies give out. Take care
Maggi


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## Ruger Monster (Jan 29, 2015)

Very sorry for your sudden tragic loss. Your tribute to Maxwell was beautiful and touching :hugs:


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## kelbonc (Aug 25, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to Maxwell was beautiful. RIP sweet boy.


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## newlie (Feb 12, 2013)

I clicked on your link because I, too, had a Maxwell that broke my heart when he died. I was given more time that what you had with your boy, but it's never enough, is it? The love is even worth the pain or we wouldn't do it otherwise. Run free, Maxwell, your Mommy won't forget you, she'll see you again one day.


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## lorihd (Nov 30, 2011)

a wonderful tribute to your boy, it brought me to tears, im so sorry for your loss, hugs. Lori


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## Loneforce (Feb 12, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss of Maxwell


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## readaboutdogs (Jul 8, 2001)

I am so sorry for your loss of Maxwell. What a great life. I'm sure many are reading your tribute and thinking of the many similar antics that brought that same joy to their lives. How lucky we are to have shared a part of our lives and hearts with such special companions! Rest in peace Maxwell. Peace to you.
"He took my heart and ran with it! I hope he's running still! Fast and strong, a piece of my heart bound up with his, forever."


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## trcy (Mar 1, 2013)

I'm sorry for your loss. (hugs)


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

Maxwell was a wise, lucky dog - wise to choose you, lucky you found him. Hemangio is awful but at least it is relatively painless for the dogs while it totally wrecks the humans. I'm so sorry you and he didn't get more time together.


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## sitstay (Jan 20, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart when I hear of another companion taken by this horrible, horrible disease.
Sheilah


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## BARBIElovesSAILOR (Aug 11, 2014)

Maxwell's Mommy: I'm welling up. What a beautiful, and descriptive letter about your boy. You described him so well that I feel like I could understand what he was actually like. The love you have for him is so obviously expressed in this post through your words. The things you experienced him, the way you said it was him and you against the world and you would take care of him so he would never want for anything again, was like my Sailor and I. And sadly, his death being in such a shocking and short time period, being faced with the life or death of your son (fur son) all in one day is exactly what I went through as well. This is why, from the bottom of my heart, I know what you are going through, I truly understand, and I am truly sorry. Reading everything you wrote was like me re-living all the 6 years Inhad with sailor. It was like a walk down memory lane.mthank you for that. You loved that dog, and he loved you, and you both were so lucky to be in eachother's lives. I think Maxwell already experienced heaven, and it was with YOU, in your home, in your arms. Thank you for being a wonderful dog parent and companion. There should be more people like you in the world.


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## Maxwell's mommy (Mar 3, 2015)

Barbie loves Sailor, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your words and kindness. I am so sorry for the loss of your Sailor. It takes an entire part of you when they leave us. It's been 25 days and this house is so cold without him, so empty. I am so glad you felt like you knew of him through my words, I want so much to make his memory known. He was just an unbelievable loving friend and fur-son. I just had to hug him and I felt better. To see that huge, wide smile, it was my happiness. He gave and showed love in every moment we were together. He truly was and is my soul and heart dog. The love of our babies is so unconditional and so selfless, there s nothing like it in this world. I just hope and pray, one of these days we will be together again, forever. 
Again, I thank you so much for writing me and reading mine and Maxwell's story. It's like a long, unbelievable nightmare.


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## Maxwell's mommy (Mar 3, 2015)

I thank everyone so much for your kindness and words. It is so hard in everyday life to find people who truly understand the love we have for our babies and the unbelievable pain we feel when we lose them. I still can't believe he is gone. He was my life, my constant confidante and comfort. No better feeling than when he let me just hug away at him. 

From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a dog,”
or “that’s a lot of money for just a dog.”

They don’t understand the distance travelled, the time spent,
or the costs involved for “just a dog.”

Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog.”
Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a dog,”
but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by
“just a dog,” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch
of “just a dog” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” then you probably understand
phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.”

“Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship,
trust, and pure unbridled joy.

“Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience
that make me a better person.

Because of “just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks and look
longingly to the future.

So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog”
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

“Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts
away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that its’ not “just a dog”
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being
“just a man” or “just a woman.”

So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog,”
just smile, because they “just don’t understand.”


- Unknown Author


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## Remo (Sep 8, 2004)

The "just a dog" people are to be pitied because they will never know what we do about the pure love and joy that our relationships with our dogs will bring. It is sad to think that they are deprived of one of our greatest pleasures in life.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss... I lost three of mine to this terrible disease...


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