# Puppy not bonding?



## Redhawk (Jul 8, 2011)

eek... 

I got a 9-week old female GSD 5 days ago. She's very smart, she is completely house trained already without the use of a crate, except at night. She responds well to the training, as in, sitting and coming when called for treats. She's food motivated so I have used that a lot.

When we go outside to walk on the land, she'll follow only when on leash, but there are many neighbors dogs outside so she gets antsy sniffing them out and looking for them all the time. When we stop and sit she doesn't look at me at all, unless I call her and she will come for a treat, but immediately walk away. It's the same in the house. 

I have never seen her tail wag, and she doesn't do the puppy thing by putting her ears back and looking up at me. She doesn't like me petting her, EXCEPT for 5 minutes immediately after she has awoken when she does put her ears back and rolls on her back. I'm not looking for a clingy dog, but am wondering if I am doing something wrong in the bonding here - or wanting too much from her, is she just learning who I am, etc? If she's naturally independent, what can I do to develop the relationship we have?

The main issue I can think of is maybe I'm training too hard - is making her wait before she comes out the door, etc, a good thing? 

Please help, want to do this right from the start... totally new to GSD's.

RH


----------



## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

First of all welcome! And remember she's just a baby and is exploring a whole new world. She might be naturally independent because it's a gsd trait, however, it's just been a few days. I would recommend putting her crate next to your bed at night for a few weeks. You can also tether her to you while you're at home doing your daily activities. I had a gsd female once that acted the same way- she didn't enjoy being petted and I can remember the firs time she actually let me rub her chest- it was after several months when I tried the tethering thing. She preferred being in the laundry room with both doors closed, just the tow of us and then she dropped her ears and enjoyed a massage while I whispered in her ear. Your pup might need a spot to settle down and relax before she'll let herself enjoy a 'love fest' as my husband called it. Give her some time, she's brand new! Try not to get your feelings hurt which is hard, I know


----------



## vomlittlehaus (Aug 24, 2010)

I have two pups from my last litter. Your pups sounds like the male. He was born here and has only known me, but it wasnt until he was 4 months old, that he started bonding with me. His sister has been bonded with me since she was about 4 wks old. I think it just happens to be the personality of the pup. And 5 days is not a very long time at all. I would worry after a couple months and not bonding. Keep your training sessions short and frequent. Dont try to demand attention when she clearly is learning and exploring her surroundings.

Spend some time on the floor with her too. My pups love that and come in for a cuddle. Have toys nearby and encourage play. Dont make it a training session, just a play session.


----------



## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

your pup is 9 weeks old. let her be a pup. enroll in a puppy class.
i'm not sure why your pup is submitting to you. you said she rolls 
on her back when you pet her. you asked if you're being to hard on her.
why do i think you are??

what do you mean she's completely house trained
except for night? are you taking her out over night???

at 9 weeks old i wouldn't worry about bonding. bonding will happen.



Redhawk said:


> eek...
> 
> I got a 9-week old female GSD 5 days ago. She's very smart, she is completely house trained already without the use of a crate, except at night.


----------



## Gracie's My Girl (May 27, 2011)

Bonding takes time. We've had our puppy for four weeks and it is a work in progress. We are both discovering a lot about who each other are. Relax and just enjoy her!


----------



## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

With one dog I never bonded, with another one it was an instant connection from the first sight, no bond-building work required. The majority, I think, falls in between so it takes some time to develop a strong bond.


----------



## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

i've never worked at building a bond. what do you do
to build a bond? i think feeding, treating, training,
petting at anytime, kind words, playing, a bond just happens.
i don't think you have to do anything special to bond and if you
do tell me what it is.



GSD07 said:


> With one dog I never bonded, with another one it was an instant connection from the first sight, no bond-building work required. The majority, I think, falls in between so it takes some time to develop a strong bond.


----------



## JulieBays (Jun 26, 2011)

I have had Sasha for a little over 3 weeks. She is almost 11 weeks old. It took at least 10 days or so before she started showing any affection. GSD's are not Labs. I feel that they are smarter and more wary of showing affection. From what I've read on this forum, some are really lovey and others are not. I wouldn't worry about it. I agree with Doggiedad. I think Sasha changed when I started just sitting on the floor with her and letting her climb in my lap while we played tug. It really made a difference.


----------



## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

I was convinced that Niko did not like me one bit when we brought him home at eight weeks old. It took about three months before he seemed to want my affection, and another year before I felt like he really loved me. Now that he's two years old, he and I are best buddies!!


----------



## GSD07 (Feb 23, 2007)

doggiedad said:


> what do you do
> to build a bond? i think feeding, treating, training, petting at anytime, kind words, playing, a bond just happens.


 Yes, that's how it happens. You do this and you and your pup get used to each other and bond. With some pups you'd have to do this feeding/training/petting for a while, and it may not create any bond anyway.


----------



## Liesje (Mar 4, 2007)

It takes me a while to bond with a dog. I'm not sure whether the puppy has much to do with it in my case, that is just how I am. I have an 11 month old puppy right now and only just started to feel like we were beginning to bond about two months ago. In general I'm not really enamored with puppies like a lot of people are. I've had a puppy temporarily and didn't have trouble taking great care of her while being able to give her back (breeder wanted to keep two but they needed individual attention for house breaking, crate training, etc).

My Nikon is almost 3 years old and I still feel our bond changing. He is still maturing and so is our relationship.


----------



## Redhawk (Jul 8, 2011)

Thanks for the replies guys.

Something strange happened after I wrote the post, you may think I'm crazy, but that's OK 

I went to the grocery store by myself (haven't been away from her since I got her). It was needed time alone. I was installing a gate in the kitchen for her and forgot about the time (she hadn't been out for about 2 hours). She was in her room and suddenly attempted to leap up onto a chair. She has never done that before, so I went into the room to get her off, when I got to the gate she jumped down and stared at me. So I turned around to leave and she did it again. I turned back to look at her and she jumped off immediately and gave me this short, really high pitched yelp.

As soon as I heard that, it all seemed to click instantly... she was trying to tell me she wanted out to pee. AND with that I realized I haven't been trying to listen to her, only communicate TO her.

After we came back in, she sat down immediately in front of me and stared at me very intently, which is what she does when I ask her to wait. I could see from the stare she was saying "I'm wanting a cookie, so get them out and tell me to sit or whatever else we're gonna do."

Again, call me crazy but suddenly I saw her as a different puppy, like not a puppy I was trying to train, but one that would communicate with me as well. I realized maybe she didn't really want me sticking my hands all over her if I couldn't understand her.

I realize she's still a baby, but I think she's just a lot smarter and just different as a dog than my golden retriever was and needs to be interacted with in a different way. 

I'm so happy... and so sad I was so dense in the beginning but I'm seeing things differently now.

RH

Doggie Daddie - she is completely house trained during the day without the use of crate, except at night, when she is crated. Chill, dude


----------



## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

Redhawk, that is a beautiful thing.  I'm very happy for you! A whole world has just opened up. I think this is a start of a lovely relationship!


----------



## Samba (Apr 23, 2001)

I had a GSD female who was strong and independant. She never laid her ears down and went mushy wiggly. She was independant and did not seek a lot affection. We had to form a real partnership in our training as she was a lot of dog. She would want to be in my presence, but was very space respectful. She was so much dog, i am almost in tears writing about her. She was full of heart and extremely dedicated to me. German Shepherds can be different in showing their affection and bond.


----------



## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

Sounds like she's a smarty! Get her in a class, start some clicker training, she'll surprise you at how scary smart these dogs are.


----------



## Freestep (May 1, 2011)

Sounds like you made a breakthrough there! Good on you.

Some puppies, especially confident, independent ones, don't automatically bond to a new owner right away. They are too busy exploring, checking out the new environment, so many interesting things! They've seen humans before, no big whoop there.  

It can take time for the pup to realize that all good things come from you; food, water, exercise, affection, comfort. An especially confident pup may think herself entitled to these things, which is why it's important to practice NILIF with such a pup. See, already she is looking to you, it took her 5 days, but that isn't bad. I bet she will mature into a very confident, intelligent, and loyal dog and will probably excel at whatever you wish to train her in.


----------



## Eiros (Jun 30, 2011)

Haha, I hear you on the communication thing! It really does take awhile to "read" what the dog is telling you. About food, potty, playtime. We had the same issue with Jack when we brought him home. For a few days he felt like a "guest" and just sort of explored without paying any attention to us. Now it's been just over a month and he is much more affectionate! He always scoots up to you, ears down and tail wagging, for pets and hugs after you've been away. Sitting on the floor and playing with him, petting lightly while playing and eating, really helped us all bond over time! Sounds like you are on the right track.


----------



## cwmia (Jul 6, 2011)

I had a female GSD much like the female Samba describes. The bond develops and gets stronger through time, training and being in situations where you have to totally trust the other. Tasha was like an extension of my mind...she would have done anything for me and in knowing that I then had the responsibility of never, ever abusing that trust. She was so much more dog than I was ready for but I learned so much about a lot of things, especially myself. I guess you could say that after a time we were always "in synch". 
Be patient.
Catherine


----------



## Redhawk (Jul 8, 2011)

Thanks all again,

this forum really is invaluable for people new to GSD and especially for the puppy phase. I have also gained a great deal of information reading old threads. 

Yes, I have been practicing NILF and that is going well. Mostly the only time I cheat is when she is in a deep sleep and I go and love all over her  LOL

I have also trained her to look at my eyes in order to get the treat or toy out of my hand, which to me feels very powerful for creating that sense of understanding where the objects are really coming from and developing the communication. 

Actually today when I let her out her crate she came out and stood touching my leg and let me pet her side for a few moments. As I was doing that I thought "I should stop now and be the one to end the interaction, not her." And as soon as I thought that, she walked away from me  It is amazing how they really pick up on our emotional energy and react to it...(especially frustration!)

Thanks also for the stories of your relationships with your own dogs. Hope you develop more of them. They are like little people in some ways, you can love some and think you'll never love another, but there are all kinds of special ones out there :falltree:


----------

