# heartbroken and miss my baby



## MicheleM (8 mo ago)

My sweet Apollo passed at 14yo 3 mo. He was a really big guy (125lbs in his prime) but the last year was hard for him. I loved this dog so very, very much and miss him so terrible. Nothing touches your heart like a GSD. All I can do is cry (and I rarely cry). I keep wondering if somehow I could have saved him, got a little more time. It all happened so fast. But then I think I would still have wanted more time. Please send me prayers and well wishes that I come out of this on the other side OK as I am drowning right now. I hope he is in a big field with someone throwing him a ball, rubbing his belly, and giving him dog ice cream. 

If anyone has an advice on how to get through this pain, I would welcome it. Why do dogs not live longer?


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

MicheleM said:


> Why do dogs not live longer?


Because it would be harder on them if we died before they did.

I am sorry for your loss. You are lucky to have had Apollo for 14 years. I know that does not make it any easier. We have all been through it. It does hurt so much. We just HAVE to grieve. It's the only way to heal and then be able to fondly remember them without so much pain. Sending a sympathetic and empathetic hug to you.


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## tim_s_adams (Aug 9, 2017)

Sorry for your loss! Healing takes time...


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## Magwart (Jul 8, 2012)

MicheleM said:


> Why do dogs not live longer?


I honestly believe the answer to that question can be found in Tammy Billups' little book _Animal Soul Contracts_ -- but it's a complex, nuanced answer. The chapter about "Sacred Transitions" is powerful.

If you're open-minded spiritually, please read it -- keep a tissue box handy. For me it was very cathartic to read it, and I couldn't read more than 10 pages without stopping to sob. It's a beautiful little book, but also very challenging in asking us to think about the soul missions of our own beloved heart-dogs.

She also has a free, short meditation on Youtube that I like a lot when I'm feeling lost:


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## 3ymum (Oct 12, 2021)

It's never be easy to lose your beloved dog, no matter what you have done/haven't done, how much more/little time you had with him. But they never truly leave you, they always remain in your heart. When you think about him, it hurts that you miss him so much but at the same time, you would have a smile or giggle just thinking of him. It takes time to heal, to grief. Apollo will always be your good boy!


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## MicheleM (8 mo ago)

Thanks so much all for your kind words and wisdom! Never enough time and no matter when it comes it will be hard and too soon. I agree him living without me would be worse. I just really hope he found Athene (my first GSD, still cry about her more than 20 years later) and they are running through the woods together. This is first real morning with him gone. He was always the first person I would say hello to. Did not even get coffee first, cuddles and belly rubs. He used to sleep on his bed near mine until his arthritis got too bad to do the stairs. Thanks for all the support and kindness. I need all I can get over the next few days.


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## Bknmaizey (Sep 16, 2019)

Sorry for your loss. Three suggestions that helped me after our loss. Write down every memory you can think of whenever the memory strikes you. You’ll probably have stretches where you write a bunch for a couple minutes, then others where you just jot down a single memory and move on. Write it all down now. It’ll help you take control over that feeling like you’ll forget him (which you won’t of course). I just put all of mine into a Notes app draft. You can do it however you want. 

Similarly, if you have photos on your phone and don’t already have an album dedicated to him, create one now and then it’s easy to just flip through those whenever you want. Also, creating the album will help with the memory exercise.

Lastly, depending on where you are, look into in-person support groups. I went to 2 or 3 sessions immediately after it happened and it was invaluable. Being able to be in the presence of other people going through similar losses or soon to go through it, gives you a small comfort that you’re not alone. Someone might be six months removed and doing better and it’ll show you it gets better. Others might be anticipating the loss and you will see just how hard that can be, too - from an outside perspective. It’s a great way to process your feelings, share with people who know what you are going through and speak your pain while remembering your bond.

It’ll get better. Sorry again.


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## Rosebud99 (9 mo ago)

MicheleM said:


> I just really hope he found Athene (my first GSD, still cry about her more than 20 years later) and they are running through the woods together.


One night after my heart dog and protector, Ranger (first GSD) left this world, I had a dream of him standing in the sun on the top of a grassy hill. It was such a comforting moment. I bet Athena was at the bridge to meet Apollo and welcome him.


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## MicheleM (8 mo ago)

Made it through the first 36 hours. Thanks for all your support!


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## RockyRoads62 (8 mo ago)

MicheleM said:


> My sweet Apollo passed at 14yo 3 mo. He was a really big guy (125lbs in his prime) but the last year was hard for him. I loved this dog so very, very much and miss him so terrible. Nothing touches your heart like a GSD. All I can do is cry (and I rarely cry). I keep wondering if somehow I could have saved him, got a little more time. It all happened so fast. But then I think I would still have wanted more time. Please send me prayers and well wishes that I come out of this on the other side OK as I am drowning right now. I hope he is in a big field with someone throwing him a ball, rubbing his belly, and giving him dog ice cream.
> 
> If anyone has an advice on how to get through this pain, I would welcome it. Why do dogs not live longer?


I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there before with a gsd. I wept more over him than I have actual family members.

I now have a 7yo 125 lb gsd that will kill me when he goes. I am so sorry again. If it helps maybe we can see them again after we pass away.


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