# Has anyone ever tackled this issue?



## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

I'll admit I am astounded and unfortunately also conflicted.







DH and his sister who I love so much, not only didn't grow up around dogs-- they are in the absolute fullest sense of the word "_not dog people_." They love Grimm, do many kind things for him-- but they love him from a distance.







Here's what's the base of the problem:

When Grimm interacts with someone, especially when he comes to them while socializing, he lowers his ears way down so his forehead is totally smooth, lowers his head and neck, grins a gentle grin, makes happy soft eyes, and-- gives some licks. Not the disgusting long slow slurps, but a short, slappy, loud, brief tongue lash that sounds like a banner snapping in the wind. He may do this a few times in a row, too. I love it. Smiley boy giving kisses







of greeting. DH and his sister, however, do NOT like dog kisses at ALL.







The shrink back as if dog kisses were plutonium-laced.









Grimm knows "Leave it," "Out," "Kiss-kiss". He knows "Pfui" and "Accckk-aaackkk!!" 

I don't know what to do, what I _want_ to do. I want Grimm to be _able_ to stand there and be petted without licking someone who doesn't wish to be licked.







I could for a specific command maybe that he knows THIS greeting or person must be withOUT a kiss? As I said, I _love_ this greeting-- for myself. This is a very strong habit of Grimms, and _totally natural _for him. If you have a pulse, you're his friend. This is his way of showing it. But, it is not welcomed by DH and his sister.

I am wondering, has anyone else dealt with this? Did you just have a "no kissing" command.. or teach the dog specificly to stand with butt towards person, for example-- adopt a specific petting posture?

What did *you* do re folks who hate dog kisses?


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I do No kisses and turn away. I have also taught a kisser to before he would meet someone pick up a toy, with something in their mouth they can't kiss-kiss. Also with the toy if the dog didn't get one I would toss one to the person the dog was greeting and tell them if you don't want lots of doggie kisses, give the dog the toy BEFORE you pet.


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## Dano (Sep 20, 2004)

I have a family member that has said, "I would rather be bit by a dog than licked by them". They just don't like having anything to do with dogs. I generally don't like to have a dog lick me and have made it obvious to my dogs, so generally speaking, neither of my dogs lick other people. If they do, I tell them to back off and it's done. 

I don't see licking as "kisses" at all. My dogs sniff strangers and company and I always tell people not to baby talk upon first meeting them otherwise Inga may do a low growl and Chaco will get "too friendly".


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## Lauri & The Gang (Jun 28, 2001)

Why not come at it from the other side. Teach your dog to give kisses on command and then stop the unsolicited licking.

This way you can get kisses whenever you want and people who don't want them won't have to worry.


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## acurajane (May 21, 2008)

In this situation I do distraction for the dog. Play w it or ask it to come to me. My gsd will lick after a while but licks the kids and I don't want to stop that.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Thanks for responding Val and Dano. I do not feel it is changeworthy behavior regarding Grimm's interacting with me, I see it as a positive.. but apparently with others Grimm may interact with, it can be an issue. To be truthful, I'm still stuck in the shock phase that anyone can find it so horrific to get even one kiss. And yes, I do see it as a greeting, a kiss. I don't mind it from other people's dogs. I grew up on a farm, and to me, it is simply par for the course. That said, I'll certainly consider the toy method, or the no kiss command. Thanks for any and all ideas!


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I let my dogs give me kisses when I give them permission to do so. I don't mind a few kisses, but since I am the alpha if I don't want them they are not allowed to give kisses. I know I can be such a "B". For dogs that have a real oral fixation I have found that they are better if they have a toy in their mouth.


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## Dano (Sep 20, 2004)

A toy in the mouth is a good idea but my dog, Inga, gets a little fixated and obsessed on the toy. I think I have a weird dog. I don't have a toy with me at all times either.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I my first GSD walked around with a toy in his mouth, started as a pup, either his mouth was occupied or he was biting....


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## KCandMace (Apr 8, 2008)

Isn't it a submissive behavior?
Acknowledging they are not the top dog?

I watch my pups and when they meet a new dog they may do one of a few things. Either sniff and walk away. Sniff and stand nearby. Or lower their body and lick the mouth of the other dog.

I like "kisses". And if people don't want them they shouldn't be down on the same level as the pups. Most of the time they are good and will just go laydown nearby.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Yes Danielle, his ears are WAAAYYY down lowered, his head is lowered, it is submissive-- it is not the usual pushy, dominant nudging we sometimes see. But, some folks hate having their hand kissed, arm kissed, etc-- and Grimm is a gargantuan, collossal 27 - 28". YIKES!! I just measured His Royal Heiney yesterday!!


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## IliamnasQuest (Aug 24, 2005)

When I took Khana through the therapy dog class, they stressed that the dogs should be trained to NOT give kisses (unless someone really wanted a kiss). This was tough with Khana because she's a really lovey-dovey kind of dog and will wiggle up (and into the lap) of someone to give kisses. 

So I taught her "kisses" where she can give me a slurp on the chin, and "no kisses" meaning she's just not to lick. And when we did our testing and the testing lady did the hug and other touching exercises, I just kept telling Khana "no kisses!".

The phrase "no kisses" also makes a dog sound friendly, as opposed to something like "don't lick". If a dog is wanting to kiss so much that you have to say "no" then that dog is going to be viewed as friendly most of the time .. *L* .. and since some people just don't want to be licked (and there are sanitary reasons too, especially in therapy dog situations) it's vitally important to have a way to stop your dog from licking.

Now, all that being said .. I took Khana as an ambassador for Delta Society to a Health Fair one time, and a young man with Downs Syndrome came over to pet her. He was obviously enjoying Khana and she kept tipping up her face to his (I could tell she really wanted to give kisses). So I told him "be careful not to put your face down there because she'll kiss you!" and he immediately stuck his face to Khana's and she kissed him all over. He had the biggest grin on his face and him Mom was laughing. In this instance it was their choice to allow the kisses and that was okay. 

My chows are all really licky dogs - if I reach down to tie my shoes, they snuggle against me and start licking my arms. Bare legs are always at risk. I've never had dogs that had such a high level of "lickiness" but I've gotten used to it. They don't have really wet tongues like my shepherds - a single shepherd slurp is sloppier than a dozen chow licks! *L*

Melanie and the gang in Alaska


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Melanie, I LOVE your chow stories!! I cannot handle a chow, but I so very, very much admire them! I adore hearing stories of your crew, Chows, GSDs, all of 'em.







Thanks for the "No Kisses" Idea. Strangely, Grimm doesn't slurp like a GSD-- or even lik a dog, at all. His "kisses" are bizarre: slappy, short, loud, banner-snapping-in-the-wind type LIGHT tongue slaps. Sometimes it ends up being an "air kiss."







Forehead totally smooth, ears lowered to the point that they're missing-in-action, eyes rounded HUGE.. it's "The Disney Face." ENORMOUS eyes in a smooth forehead with no ears-- looks like a seal from SeaWorld.


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## Mary Jane (Mar 3, 2006)

Patti,

My dear Wolf spontaneously developed different greetings for my husband and me. My husband gets bound across the floor, throwing out his big front paws like a drunken prize fighter-because my husband is gently slapping the extended paws. I get a lowered gentle face, much like Grimmi's, and an air kiss to my cheek-I'm not kidding-no tongue at all just his warm breath.

So train Grimm to offer a paw to Ulrich upon greeting. I am sure that gentlemen meeting in Bavaria still shake hands.

Mary Jane


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## Timber1 (May 19, 2007)

One of my daughters hates the kisses, so when she comes over I let Timber settle a bit. 

But the dog, is very protective among the family, so I decided to accept him as is, and not try to control the kisses, aside from letting him settle I willnot try and discourage him from friendly greetings toward family and friends.

A minor concern, but if I do that, might he decide that perhaps he has been too friendly.


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

I was advised that it's standard for a service dog not to give kisses unless specifically advised to (I'm looking at IAADP's minimum training standards and they don't have that listed as their standards, so maybe my trainer was citing someone else's standards like CCI's). But as Melanie mentioned, this behavior can be trained. 

We train something called "Visit." You teach it by sitting in a chair (a higher chair, like a dining room chair at first) and putting a treat on the side of your leg , say, with your left hand. Your pup stands on the other side of you, on your right side. He reaches his head across your lap and you let him slowly nibble the snack. At the same time, you're petting him with your right hand, and telling him "Visit. Good Visit." After a while, you phase out the snack. And he simply gets the nice wonderfuly ear-rubbing, neck-massaging attention. He can then do this sitting or standing. As long as he's quiet and his chin is politely resting on your lap.

The goal is that when he meets someone new, that person can sit in a chair or on the sofa, and you tell Grimm, "Visit," and he can gently put his head in their lap, and they can nicely pet them. If you wish, they can give him a treat. But they certainly don't have to. But he's not lip-smacking them. He's getting nice positive attention. But it's controlled. And he's able to turn his attention back to you at any time. 

This is a great "trick" for every dog to learn, not just service or therapy dogs. Controlled greetings are great public relations for big dogs.


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