# When is it time to say Good Bye??



## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

I have been reading in the senior section and the In Loving Memory section. I didn't want to Hijack anyone's thread, but what and when do you feel it is time?

I have my own idea's when it is time to say good bye to one of my pals, but it they aren't hard and fast rules, it would depend on the dog.

But just for open discussion sake I though maybe we could discuss what are our feelings.

First, I will say that I am pretty close minded with cancer and chemo treatments. I am pretty sure I would go with low dose steroids and possible some herbal if they would work together.

I don't know if I would do the cart or wheel chair for an older dog. If it is a mid age I would have to consider it. But a senior who is losing all mobility, then I feel it is my job as their care taker and provider to see that they don't suffer, have some quality and dignity to life.

When people say that their dog told them, if it has happened to you can you share what you saw. My first GSD, first dog I every had to make the decision told me. His back end totally collapsed the day after I brought Cheyenne home. He was a proud old guy and he didn't want me to help him on stairs, getting up from laying down. The only help he would take was a little boost to get up on the couch in my office where he would spend his day. After the hips totally collapsed, I saw the sparkle and determination wasn't there any more and he looked very very tired. So I made the call, it would be the next day. So we had a great day, had all of his favorite foods, but I couldn't get him to go outside to go potty. So I knew I was making the right choice.

Val


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## allieg (Nov 4, 2008)

I haven't really thought about it till this week with our cat so my ideas may change as life goes on.I personally would have to say if they loose mobility or bowel,urine control due to age or disease I would have to make that gut wrenching call.I would try to do what I could till I no longer where able to or it just wasn't working.If they were in pain and no medication would make the pain go away without compromising there quality of life.I would have to go on an animal by animal basis too.If Athena or Lexi were to get sick or hurt I would do all I could but if certain cats were to get sick or hurt I unfortunately wouldn't be able to do the same.I hope people understand my reasoning.They would get medical care but I would have to draw a line at some point.I just pray I won't have to make that call anytime soon.I can't handle loosing anything or one else in my life.....Death suck no matter what living being your talking about...


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## Zisso (Mar 20, 2009)

My Lizzy could only take trhee steps before she would fall(severe HD) and could not get back up again. She struggled to go poop. She was bright mentally, but I could tell by the look in her eyes the pain was beginning to get to her; she had already been on Rimadyl for over 6 months. I chose to let go at that pint rather than to continue her suffering.


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## Woodreb (Oct 27, 2008)

With Rica, it was several small things that finally told me it was time. Her coat had lost its shine and looked dull. In the last week, she would often have a withdrawn and kind of distressed look on her face that (to me anyway) looked as if she was in pain. That look was the most distressing to me because it seemed that this was pain inspite of the medications and supplements we had her on.

I also had to do a lot of soul searching during the last month or so while watching her go down hill. I know there could have been different medications we could have tried and we probably could have found other ways to manage her incontinence problems. But I had to ask myself as I looked at her, if I was doing these things for her or for me. More and more, it seemed that the answer was that I was doing it more for myself and not for her - because I couldn't let go. And when I acknowledged that it was mostly for me, I knew that it was not fair to keep putting her through more. She had been a very active dog and she had become so crippled that she needed us to move her around the house or outside to go potty. And it seemed that we were robbing her of her dignity. My DH felt the same way and that was when we knew that the fairest thing for us to do was to let her go.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

Ah good post Val! I never went into the senior section til Max started his roller coaster ride about a year ago.

If he were in mid life or even early senior I would consider doing the cart, wheel chair, buggy whatever - as long as his attitude was good and his eyes were bright and his mind was clear. 


But a dog over 11 or 12 - I would have to do some soul searching on. Max is losing control of his faculties slowly and when he can not get up and walk, or cannot control his bladder or bowels - it is his time. He would want that I think. 

We did the very expensive hip replacement surgery on Kayos. She was 5 1/2. We were at the point where we put her down or did the surgery. We did the surgery. If she were 10 or 11 we would have put her down. 

Same thing with cancer. If the dog is under 8 or 9 and there is a pretty good shot that we can insure a good few years we would do the chemo. But an older guy like Max? NO! 

I don't want to say there is not enough return on our investment because you cannot really gage that. But in all honesty you do surgery, chemo and all you buy is a few more months? A few more months of what? As a rationalizing human I would not put myself through that - why put a dog through it?

I know these are very personal decisions and as I said in another post, I have the utmost respect for those that pull out all the stops and wheel their guys around in wagons or wheeled carts, but I do not think I can do that unless it was clear to me the dog really wanted it.

I did not mean any insensitivity in that as I knew there are several that have just lost dogs that they have done these things for and a few that are getting ready to say goodbye.

Tough choices but I guess the bottom line is this -- am I doing it for me or the dog?


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

With Massie, the dog who started it all, I had the most terrible time. We were like one. She was so devoted to me that she would have bounced down the street on her nose if she needed to in order to follow me. In the last year of her life she was 95% blind and deaf and her hip replacement had worn out. The other hip was severely dysplastic. She had had one knee surgery but the other side had gone. But she was still happy. Then one day she stopped eating and in very short order could not breathe well or move around. I knew when I got up to leave the room for a second and she could no longer follow that her time had come. The vet came to my house and she died in my arms, at home. 

I feel the same way as others about chemo, surgery and carts for a very old dog with serious health problems. I always use quality of life as my gauge. The problem is that when it's your dog and you love your dog and everyone else loves your dog it becomes difficult to judge what that really means. You keep lowering the bar. And when you have dogs who are as devoted to you as you to them, it also is hard to know when it's time because I've seen dogs hold on b/c their people weren't ready to let them go. 

And there along comes a dog like Chama whose body is wearing out but her mind is that of a much younger dog.


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## Woodreb (Oct 27, 2008)

> Originally Posted By: BowWowMeow. And when you have dogs who are as devoted to you as you to them, it also is hard to know when it's time because I've seen dogs hold on b/c their people weren't ready to let them go.


I saw this happen with a friend of mine when I lived in Texas. My housemate and I were watching her dog for her while she was on vacation visiting some friends. She had told me that she thought they would have to make a decision about the dog (elderly and in poor health) when they came home. And she really didn't want to make that decision.
The dog died at our house in her sleep two days before my friend came home. I always thought that the dog did that so my friend wouldn't have to make that decision.


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## SuzyE (Apr 22, 2005)

I went thru a very harrowing experience with jazmin and cancer including a nightmarish amputation which i still feel bad about. however, she died of an infection, not cancer or amputation. she refused to eat anymore-anything-chicken, steak, ham i tried everything. I could have had her put on IVs but she was done fighting. I held her in my arms and told her she could die and she did. her death wasn't nearly as bad as her suffering. I still cry daily about the last 6 months of her life. when they refuse to eat or they can't walk anymore they are done. it's a nightmare, it wasn't as bad as cesar dying of a heart attack though.
I can't imagine not having paige, of course i will do anything for her as long as she is happy and can get around. jazmin was NOT happy once she could no longer walk with her boyfriend, Riley.
it's very hard but you just can't let them suffer.


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## Ilovealldogs (Nov 17, 2006)

It's definitely going to be different for everyone and every dog is different. My dog never "told" me in her eyes (or at least not that I wanted to see), but her physical health did. She had episodes that were like seizures, which she had never done before. She could only walk a few steps before she'd collapse and then urinate/defecate during the seizure. There was no medication that could help her at this point. On the last day she wouldn't eat anything. It was hard for me to let go because her heart was still strong and she could still see me and she was still cognitively with it. When I told my vet this, he said, "Yes, if only we could give her a new set of lungs" because they were filled with cancer. I still cry everyday (since March) for the loss of her and still question whether it really was her time but I knew that I had to be strong and do what was best for her and not what was best for me. I would have let her go on her own but my vet said that she would eventually be gasping for air and it would be a painful death as she would be suffocating. I just could not put her through that. It was time, even though I wanted to remain in denial and still do at times. The only thing that keeps me going is faith in knowing I will see her again one day when it is time for me to go home.


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## JazzNScout (Aug 2, 2008)

I kept hearing that the dog would let me know. I've heard, "When the dog stops eating." I always said once Morgan stopped eating and stopped chasing the poodle behind us, that would be the time. 

Morgan had CES and was slowly deteriorating. She lost all feeling when it came to going to the bathroom, so it got to the point that it was all just coming out of her. I ignored it until I got her outside so as not to embarrass her (like your first one and so many others, she was so proud), and one morning my heart broke as I was crying and cleaning up the mess, only to find her watching me with sorrowful eyes through the glass. I will never forget that look. I finally began asking God to take her because she was just not in good shape, but her spirit seemed fine, and I didn't know what to do. 
I came home from work one evening and she was just waiting there at the door for me with this desperate look on her face, as if she had been waiting and waiting. As soon as she saw me, she collapsed. I tried to lure her up with chicken, and that didn't work. Then the poodle behind us began barking, and Morgan lifted her head in interest, then lied it back down. I later thought: Well, that was letting me know. I never got any other "sign."

With Jasmine, I chose not to let her suffer like that. I know Morgan had put on a proud face for me. I know it's a personal and individual choice. It broke my heart to pieces to take Jasmine in on July 3 and put her down when her eyes were still sparkling and inquisitive, when her spirit was still alive, and when she was still enjoying food, toys, and walks. But it was the heavy pain medication that was allowing the quality of life she was having, and I knew her life had changed when she began lying on the tile floor in front of the fan for 22 hours out of 24. She didn't feel good, but she wasn't in severe pain. I just didn't want her to get there, and the vet assured me that it would get to that point, it was just a matter of hours or perhaps a couple of weeks. 

With Jasmine, too, I prayed for guidance and prayed for help in doing the right thing. Once I gathered the information I felt I needed, I made the decision. 

So, it is an individual decision depending on the dog, educating ourselves about what is going on with them, and talking it all over with your vet.


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## 3K9Mom (Jun 12, 2006)

For me, quality of life is about joy. When joy is gone, or when procedures outweigh the little joy that is left, then it's time. 

I can't say that simply, when they stop eating, it's time. Not eating may be a symptom of a GI disease like, in our case, pancreatitis. Once we got that under control and we use appetite stimulants, the eating came back and the joy came back. Zamboni runs down to the front door when Dh gets home from work, bounces around and races him to the bedroom where he changes clothes every evening. Yesterday, Boni was outside with me and bopped to the fence and barked happily at passers by. 

When Meri got home from training, she took off zooming, and Boni chased her for a bit, then stood and barked at her, tail waving, and they wrestled. 

Right now, she's sleeping at my feet, the same as she has since she was a pup. Does she sleep more than she used to? Yes, but heck, I like naps more than I used to, too.







When she wakes, we'll walk through the park slowly, so she can sniff every smell. When she was younger, I didn't have the patience for that. Now, she can have all the time she wants to sniff. 

There are procedures and medicines, and they're not pleasant. I wish she didn't have to deal with those. But I can't NOT do them, because they keep her alive. But I try to keep perspective too. 

I don't think creatinine is the most important value. BUN tells me how she feels. So that's the most important number. I know her kidneys are failing. I know I could put her on some Rx food that might help, but she'd hate it. So I let her eat what she wants, within reason. I know the food takes its toll on her kidneys, but I want her to be happy. I don't let her eat fatty foods because pancreatitis is painful. There's a difference. Longevity is not my goal. A happy pain free life is. 

I have a great relationship with my two regular vets and my internist all of whom I've known for years and years. They know me well enough to say "Enough." And I've had conversations with both my regular vets about how do you know when enough is enough? Dh and I have talked about it too. We reassess the situation from time to time. Is this worth it? There are very few bad days. It's the procedures. But when the four of us are lying on the floor while Boni is getting fluids, and the girls are snacking on Zamboni's favorite treats during that time, it doesn't seem that she's so unhappy about that needle that she has in her back. 

I had a boss who called herself a Buddhist whose cat was very sick. The boss wouldn't euthanize the cat, but had the cat on 2x daily fluids, a feeding tube, narcotic pain meds, etc. The cat was down to just a couple pounds, was barely conscious, barely moved. It was one of the most terrible things I've ever seen a human being do to another living creature because she said she "could not kill another creature." But if she withheld those treatments the animal would have died naturally. 

That terrible lesson has stuck with me. 

My vets will tell me when enough is too much if I somehow don't realize it on my own. 

We recently saw a new holistic vet for chiropractic. I asked her, after she read Zamboni's chart, what she thought, as a fresh set of eyes? She said she thought that I was a good mom, a conscientious mom, and Zamboni was doing great, despite her many ailments. She also told me that she would be the first to say "Stop. It's time." if we get to that point. 

We need people like that our lives. I often lie with Boni on the floor at bedtime and ask her "you'll let me know, won't you?" And numerous nights, she comes to the side of my bed, her stomach a bit distended, like it's ready to bloat again at 2 or 3am. I walk down the hallway with her, open the front door, and she's ready to go on her middle-of-the night walk. She hops down the step, sniffs the breeze, out the gate, and we walk for 10-15 minutes, til her gas has subsided. 

When we come home, she drinks a bit of water, hops in bed and falls blissfully asleep. It seems she's not ready to go anywhere yet. 

When my dog Grover had congestive heart failure as a senior, she was also receiving intensive care. One night she paced the hallway. I put her on the bed for a while, because I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. Dh and I talked and petted her for a while. Suddenly, she stared at me intensely. I knew she needed to go the emergency clinic. We drove there. Dh went to pick her up out of the car, but she refused, as if to say, "I still have my pride, I can do this myself." She walked in the clinic under her own power, but died that night at the clinic. She collapsed and we choose to euthanize her right there. 

She "told" me. 

I think that when we're honest with our dogs their whole lives, they will feel the freedom to be honest with us when it matters. 

We also have to be willing to hear it.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

You guys are really making me cry.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

I know some people right now who have a chocolate lab. The "mom" is not ready to let her go. She has been gravely ill now for 5 months. She's had 2 strokes and her kidneys are failing. At points she's lost complete bladder and bowel control, sometimes for weeks, to the point where she had urine burns. She often doesn't want to eat. At times she hasn't even been able to stand on her own. At best she can stand and walk 3 or 4 steps on her own. She sleeps almost all of the time and requires 24 hour care. Right now she's not eating at all and is severely emaciated. She sleeps almost all of the time. She has absolutely no quality of life. 

Many people have tried talking to them and I've told her mom that she needs to let her dog know that it's ok to go when she needs to go. Her response was that she's not ready to go and she knows her dog isn't ready yet either. 

It is heartbreaking.


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## WiscTiger (Sep 25, 2002)

Kathy, this wasn't my intent to make anyone cry. Just to put some things out there for discussion. 

I know at times the owner gets so much heat from people who aren't dog lovers that it might be helpful if they can read some dog lovers thoughts.

I think at a certain age I start really paying attention to movement and happiness so I have a baseline. You know when they are past the puppydom and into the solid adult stage. Some of my dogs are just happier than others. Cheyenne is and has always been a pretty serious dog, it is truly amazing if she jumps up on me. DeeDee and Raya are like whirling derbies, happy happy, spin, bounce and jump. So it will be easier for me to gage them than Miss serious Cheyenne.

Kathy, in a few years when my oldest three start hitting seniors you can prop me up, ok.

Val


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## Woodreb (Oct 27, 2008)

I think it's a very worthwhile discussion to have. Everyone's perspective is a little different, but it seems we all try to evaluate quality of life and judge from there. And sometimes everyone's vision of what constitutes quality of life is a little different. It's helpful to have some different perspectives.
And I know it's hard to let go when it seems that just yesterday they were puppies or young adults all bouncy and happy. But, I would never want my dog to get to the point where the lab Ruth is describing is now. It's hard to believe that there is joy in that life and I would be asking myself if I were prolonging it just for me.


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## AK GSD (Feb 27, 2008)

All very good thoughts. The only other thing I can think to add is that sometimes where you are in your own life can factor in also. If you are as old as dirt yourself, or have a serious health issue, where you are facing your own mortality I think it can make it harder to "pull the plug" on your senior/sick dog.


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## AK GSD (Feb 27, 2008)

Okay, back again after a short tissue break. My Dad is in his 80's (good health) and this past May "the time" came for his 14 year old Golden Retriever, Elmo. Had it been my dog I would of booked the appointment a week sooner but Dad was hesitant saying he was hoping Elmo would rally or would pass peacefully in his sleep. Dad is old school and would not feel comfortable breaking down emotionally at the vet. Having made the one way journey before with 4 of my own dogs and knowing the vet well, I told Dad I would take care of it. After loading Elmo in my vehicle and Dad saying his goodbyes he hugged me and said "it should be me". At that moment it occured to me that Elmo's old age and reaching the end of the road was tied to Dad's thoughts on his own advancing years and why he was hesitant to make the final call. A different perspective I had not considered before.


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## SuzyE (Apr 22, 2005)

having a dog die at 9 months and one die at 9 yrs I can tell you that if they even make it to ten then they have had a good life, especially with us.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

I think this is so emotional for me because Max is winding down and this past week he took a definitive turn in that direction. These are actually good emotions to have, it shows we are human and have bondly deeply with our furry kids. 

I had one go to the bridge at 9.5 with cancer and another made it to 13 and I was ecstatic. She would have gone longer but she just was not happy and she was in pain. I could not take her in, I could not watch her die. My husband took her. I felt terribly guilty as tho I had let her down. She never once in her life let me down. 

I promised Max I would be with him and I am very afraid of that. His day is coming sooner rather than later too, although I think we have another year maybe more with him. 

I am a pretty pragmatic person and will do all I can to keep him happy and comfortable, but I won't carry him around so he can go out to potty. I will aid him walking as long as possible but when I have to carry him I have to let him go. That will be very hard. I think it will be harder for me if his demantia continues to spiral as it has lately. 

I just bought Gary Tilford's herb book to do some studying to try to add some natural things to help him stay clear and focused and decrease his discomfort.

You know I am not sure any of us really know when it is time for a dog or cat. Only God knows and I hate to play God. I think we do the best we can for them and not let them suffer and when we make the decision we are riddled with guilt becuaue in the long run we are playing God. This is a pretty big responsibilty and I don't think any of us really want it.

I think this thread should be a sticky as there is some very good insight here.


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## ninhar (Mar 22, 2003)

Kathy, you're not the only one. I read through this thread a few times and started to post, then stopped because I start to cry.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few months. Sheba is 12 and has really spiraled downward in the last few months. On the bad days I have been starting to look for signs from her. She still has some quality of life, but has reached a point where getting up is so difficult for her and she is falls easily. Once she is up, if she stands in one place her hind end starts to sink. I used to measure our walks in miles, now it’s in feet. The dog who used to be such an athlete, who could play ball all day, will now occasionally do her lopsided lope to a ball in the yard but she knows that she can’t play anymore. That is heartbreaking to watch. She spends most of her time on either of her beds either sleeping or looking outside within a 10’ square section of the family room. Is that quality of life? 

I live alone and am able to manage her needs, to get her yard time and on short walks.


> Quote: The only other thing I can think to add is that sometimes where you are in your own life can factor in also.


 This also brings up a good point. I got ill last week and had to call family from out of state to stay with me for a few days. Mostly to help with Sheba. I was incapable of doing the extra work that is now a normal part of caring for her. I have already started to project about ice and snow this winter, if she makes it that long.

When Cody was stricken with cancer at 12, I spent a week and thousands of dollars trying to what we could for her. She lasted a week from first diagnosis until she was in such distress that we had to have her put down. I had the same result with my cat Chloe. I will never do that again for a senior. Having them spend their last days in an emergency hospital still haunts me. 

The loss of mobility is tough though. How much loss of mobility can I watch before I decided its time? I don’t have an answer right now.


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

Nina,

I understand just what you're talking about. The highlight of Chama's life used to be running in the woods and now it's getting treats. I take her out 3 or 4 times a day and we walk as far as we can (sometimes to the end of the block and back takes 15 minutes) but most of the time now she wants to go out, pee and then go back in the house and get a treat. I've begun carrying tiny training treats on the walk to get her to keep moving forward on her bad days. Sometimes she just stops walking and stands t here. I know I cannot carry her home so I have to be very careful about how far from home we go. 

The difference in her mobility from 2 weeks ago is enormous and I know if she keeps losing mobility at this rate then I will be faced with making a decision very soon. Everything would be much easier if she didn't have a sparkle in her eyes. The sparkle, however, gets dimmer as the weather gets hotter and more humid and as her tumor gets bigger. 

I find that I am continuously adjusting the quality of life bar downward but I feel like she is doing the same thing. She has accepted her limitations and seems to be fairly content waiting for the next time treats are coming. 

I've been through this before and it is never, ever easy.


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## AK GSD (Feb 27, 2008)

> Quote:I think we do the best we can for them and not let them suffer and when we make the decision we are riddled with guilt becuaue in the long run we are playing God.


And it such a final decision... you don't get a do over. Looking back I regret the timing on my first dog and now wish I had waited a little bit longer. The following 3 dogs I am at peace with myself that it was the right time for them.


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## Kayos and Havoc (Oct 17, 2002)

'I know I cannot carry her home so I have to be very careful about how far from home we go. '

When I walk Max I carry my cell phone to call Joe incase I can't get him home.


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## Barb E (Jun 6, 2004)

Of all the animals (cats and horses) I've had in my life I've only had to make this decision once for my cat Caramel.
We did daily Sub-Q for a year for renal failure and she and I always spent that time curled up on the couch having a good snuggle.

One night she wouldn't settle. Later than night she cried in her sleep.
I called the vet in the morning. She was 18 when she crossed the bridge to meet the cats GoGo, Scamper, Kitty and Toffee and the horses Blue, Windy, Missy, Babe and Dandy


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## BowWowMeow (May 7, 2007)

> Originally Posted By: KathyW'I know I cannot carry her home so I have to be very careful about how far from home we go. '
> 
> When I walk Max I carry my cell phone to call Joe incase I can't get him home.


I'm on my own. But I do know lots of people in my neighborhood and if worse came to worse I am sure someone would drive us home.


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## jake (Sep 11, 2004)

our heartdogs choose to stay with us as long as they can.My last dog a greyhound who was 15 years old told me he HAD to go when he stopped eating.Sometimes they hang on just cause they love and serve us to the best of there courage and heart, and maybe that is what they WANT.I do not have any answer and have faced this so many times.Every human out there wishes to just die in their sleep and it is so sad most do not.I have no answer for you but you are in my thoughts.


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## Qyn (Jan 28, 2005)

I think the answer to this question varies with each situation. Many animals endure hardship as a result of injury, disease or old age including the human animal. Some of these hardships are intermittent and many can be treated or managed - some cannot. 

Some people wait too long to make a decision as to whether treatment should be started for themselves or for their pets; and others see the first sign of distress to be the time to act either with treatment or to say goodbye.

Personally, I have opted for treatment while there is a chance of recovery and the animal is able to be treated even if the treatment may be fatal.

My old dog Cisco (16y + 10mo) had the "Help me" look which is a combination of "I'm tired" and "I don't want to do this anymore" and she was staggery the night before she was PTS. She was still eating (in fact she ate almost all the flesh from a roast chicken that morning); she was still continent (although without minimal medication she would have been slightly spay incontinent); her walk that morning was very minimal, <1/20th of her normal walk. She was on pain relief which worked but she probably was uncomfortable getting up and down although still independently mobile. She could have survived longer and maybe would have wanted to but IMO I would have regretted her reaching the stage of obvious suffering and immobility.

Our Maltese, Buddy - approx 9-10yo, had a severe heart murmur and resultant CHF and was on two medications; my partner said he would not treat the condition but changed his mind. Buddy had reduced appetite but still ate; was still active even though it was reduced and he still desired more. He died unexpectedly early one morning. He wasn't ready to be PTS by all indications but his body decided otherwise.

I think you do what you are comfortable with doing and hopefully the animal's needs are always foremost. Luckily treatments are better these days but not always affordable for everyone. I don't believe anyone's loved companion would wish any further stress on their family and, within reason, an earlier decision is no less kind or right than one where every avenue is investigated.


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## RebelGSD (Mar 20, 2008)

My BoBo was not quite 9yo, in full strength, acting like a puppy when he suddenly collapsed from internal bleeding. The biopsy after the surgery indicated hemangiosarcoma. After carefully considering every aspact of it, I opted for chemo as he recovered from surgery in no time as was otherwise in excellent health (never had to see the vet for illness before). I had experience with this cancer (I lost my previous dog to it within three days) and knew all too well how aggressive it was and what the chances were without the chemo. I knew that dogs handle chemo better than people and neither of us was ready to let go.

I was surprised what a hard time I got from people around me. My medical doctor friend kept telling me horror stories from human chemo treatments and pressuring me not to do it. BoBo sailed through the chemo and was doing beautifully, the chemo gave us 4 perfect months together and it was priceless to me. My friend kept calling me and bombarding me with details as to what chemo-caused diseases BoBo would die of, it went on and on. I found it hard enough to keep a positive attitude for the sake of the dog, somebody putting me on a guilttrip for treating my dog really got to me. Even after he died, my friend attacked me for doing this for my baby as opposed to doing something for a dog at a shelter (I saved many shelter dogs as opposed to none that she saved). I lasted 5 months with her pressures, the last attack did end the friendship.
She lives relatively far away and never saw BoBo in person so there was no way of proving to her how well he was doing and how happy he was.

Another acquaintance who first felt that one should always chose life went into attack mode as well after I have made up my mind about the chemo. I had to make it clear to him that I was no longer accepting input and that the topic was off limit. He too got very angry at me for not taking his "advice" and deciding to do the chemo.

I got support from somone I barely knew. She has ovarian cancer and she maybe has 1-2 months to live now. She re-started chemo at the time BoBo started his chemo as well. She said that chemo was very hard on her, but she will be doing it because, even if her chances are not good at beating the disease, she will do everything she can to live. Chemo was her only chance and extending her life was worth the side effects to her. She met BoBo and encouraged me to give him this chance. She called me 2-3 times a week to inquire how BoBo was doing. I was very grateful to her as she had similar choices to make for herself as I had to make for BoBo. I am devastated that she is going down quickly and that we have so little time to be friends.

I will never understand how people can be so militant and aggressive about other people's dog that they even never met. Life has some strange twists and we gain friends under the most unusual circumstances.


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## Brightelf (Sep 5, 2001)

Rebel, you put BoBo first in making each and every choice for him. Those other people had their own agendas. I was never blessed to meet BoBo in person, but even in his pictures, one could so easily see how GREAT he felt, even going through chemo. You made the choices you made so that you two could enjoy walks, snacks, jokes, playtime, snuggles-- and BoBo enjoyed every minute of all you shared.


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## LisaT (Feb 7, 2005)

I've thought about this a lot. I was away at school when my childhood pets died. I've never had to do this. 

I have dogs that would not tolerate extensive treatments, probably even natural ones. For Indy, the natural treatments that are most effective against things like cancer, are also most effective for boosting her vaccine damage. I balance a fine line with her, and have for the last decade. One day, I won't be able to do that anymore. And with Max, he is almost as bad as Indy in terms of sensitivity.

Doesn't matter the situation, I will be a wreck. I hope that I will be able to honor them and do the right thing at the right time. 

I come to these forums not only to pay respects to the dogs on the boards I've known, and for the owners, but to learn, so I will be able to do the best for these two when the time comes.


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