# Help! Rescue aggressive toward our 19 yr. old son



## Lisa100 (Dec 17, 2012)

Hi all...we have had our rescue, Gracie, for 3 months ( she is estimated 1.5 to 2 yrs. old). She immediately bonded with me, and subsequently my husband, and 15 year old daughter (all living in household). Our 19 year old son is a college student who lives away. He was home a few times for weekends since we got her. She would bark every time he entered a room when he was home, but that was understandable as these were short visits. Now he is home for the holiday break until late January. The problem - every time he comes up the stairs, she is there barking, and lunging. She will get a bit comfortable around him when he is in the room with us, but the minute he gets up or makes a move, she is barking, lunging again. She is relatively well trained (professional training scheduled for after the holidays, had to postpone due to death in trainer's family), but we need help in the interim. We had tried treats, the "no barking" command, settle, etc., which all help short term, but she just won't warm up to him. He is a big guy ( 19 yrs. old, 6'2"). She was definitely abused in her past and I am unsure about the specifics. She is still easily spooked by loud, unexpected noises, etc., but is otherwise great. Any suggestions, ideas, to get us through until training commences. I am at my wit's end...Thanks so much for any input.


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## JeanKBBMMMAAN (May 11, 2005)

Hi, welcome and thanks for rescuing! 

There is a very good chance that she was not abused, other than by having someone create dogs of bad temperament. 

Regardless of the why she is giving lots of good and clear warnings that she is not comfortable with your son yet. And just like with us, you can't make someone like someone else - that takes time and trust. 

I would join this group: shy-k9s : shy-k9s and start reading the archives. 

Have you contacted her former foster family for any input? 

Does she crate? 

Because this has potential for bite you need to proceed very carefully - using safe containment, crating and rotating - when your son goes out, she can have free run, he needs to call before he comes in, so she can be contained again. When he is home, she is tethered to you or crated.

If you have a clicker, that is something fun he can work with her using. Tossing her treats when she is showing appropriate behavior (that you will be able to shape because she will be tethered to you) feeding her, and other things will help to build that trust and relationship BUT - I would be focusing more on safe containment, not expecting too much from her and looking at this as a longer term project so keeping their interactions limited to keep them both safe.


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## Lisa100 (Dec 17, 2012)

Thanks for the quick response. Yes, I am in touch with her foster family. She was with them for 5 weeks, before we adopted her. She came from a kill shelter in Georgia (we adopted her from CT). She never exhibited any aggression while with them. She was crate trained, but I stopped crating her about a month ago, as she was so comfortable and well-behaved in all aspects at that point. I have kept her confined, while he is coming and going in and out of the house, and limit their contact to only when me or my husband are with them. I have not tried letting him use the clicker, and will try tethering in the interim. I just feel like I am making so many mistakes! (she's not our first GSD, but our previous girl was a puppy when we adopted her)..I will also investigate the site your recommended. Thanks again.


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## RowdyDogs (Nov 12, 2012)

I think Jean's advice is great. Getting her used to your son is probably a project that will take longer than the couple of weeks he'll be home for the holidays, so I would not worry about it too much and instead just focus on keeping her contained and away from him. If it's only been a month since you've used the crate last, she shouldn't have much problem going back to it.

I'd definitely recommend tethering her to you or your husband when you have her out while your son is home, even if you guys are there to supervise. It only takes a second for a situation to get out of control and result in a bite, and you really don't want that to happen.

I would also do what you can to prevent her from barking/lunging at him while she is tethered to you (either by keeping her out of situations that trigger her, or by training her to pay attention to you on command and using that whenever he moves). The more dogs "practice" a behavior like this, the further ingrained it gets. Plus, it can't be fun for your son!

Kudos to you for adopting her, and for hiring a trainer to help.  I am sorry for the extra stress this must be causing during the holidays. Don't worry about making mistakes, we all do it. Just take this behavior seriously and manage it so she never has even a moment's chance of biting your son (which she might never have done anyway, but you don't want to risk it), and then when you are able to work with your trainer I am sure a lot will fall into place.


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## Lisa100 (Dec 17, 2012)

Thank you. Definitely going to try tethering, and lower my expectations. It's definitely a process!


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

Do you treat when the dog acts out? That could add to the problems. Lets say you had a young child that wanted to run across the road, would you beg them back with a cookie or tell them "no" and direct the way they are suppose to get back. Dogs are protective of their environment to be sure, but anyone I except in my home is just that, even by my dogs. Sounds like a young one there you still have a big chance with, It is not all kisses to have a dog like that , hope I helped. Only treat when a dog acts like you want them to.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

you've gotten great advice, I am just curious..How is she with other people who come to your house, or people she's doesn't know out in public??


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## Lisa100 (Dec 17, 2012)

In response to Harmony-we definitely don't reward or try to stop her.behavior with treats. She gets a firm "no" or "no barking" command, as per the direction of the trainer when we spoke on the phone. My son will give get treats when he is seated, and she is okay with that. It is really when he moves around or enters a room....responding to Diane - she is generally ok when out in public, on leash. She does better in a setting with lots of people around, but less so when someone approaches her in a one on one situation. She has barked aggressively at a few men who have approached appropriately, but I have been keeping her very close to me in those situations as I am not comfortable with her behavior. She is not aggressive with other dogs or cats (we have two cats). I still want to keep her socialized, but it's definitely not carefree at this point. She's a work in progress!!


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## onyx'girl (May 18, 2007)

I would have your son just basically ignore her unless he is tossing treats randomly to her. No eye contact or frontal approach. If he ignores her consistently for a few or several days, she will observe his movements (hopefully he'll be on board with this), so he can show his body language is not threatening ever. If she makes the first approach to him, just tell him to remain neutral, not show affection, but again, toss a high value treat, then see if she'll take it from his hand. 

Hope he will help with this, I have a son the same age and he isn't into my dogs whatsoever!
Not sure you've read this link, but it would be good if everyone in the household were on board with the concept: http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

Ok, why no answer to a question ? So what do you want? And, we all have something good to add . I don't know about it but where is your answer to the mods question?


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

Have you ever stood up and take control, you mean what you say, and you say what you mean! I have seen to many dogs left out because of what you said, take control! I have to ask how hard is that? And why is your kid giving the dog treats? Have you trained the beast yet? Aggression and fear do not always fit into the same category


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## Lisa100 (Dec 17, 2012)

Good morning all..responding to Harmony. I did indeed respond to your question/suggestion. Didn't mean my response to sound anything but sincere. I was just answering regarding treats, etc. I am new to the site, so maybe I'm not posting correctly? Again, sorry. 
Jane - thanks. I agree with your suggestion, as that is the way we handled her when we first adopted her. No direct eye contact, etc. and that worked. Also loved the info re: NILIF on K9deb site. As the trainer said, remember she is "an invited guest". Lol. Thanks all. Just trying to get as many opinions as possible and I'm appreciative of anyone taking the time to respond.


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## Lisa100 (Dec 17, 2012)

harmony said:


> Have you ever stood up and take control, you mean what you say, and you say what you mean! I have seen to many dogs left out because of what you said, take control! I have to ask how hard is that? And why is your kid giving the dog treats? Have you trained the beast yet? Aggression and fear do not always fit into the same category


Again, sorry! Don't know what I specifically said to upset you. Training a rescue with an unclear history isn't the same as raising a dog from a pup. She was 54 pounds and emaciated when I adopted her (at approx. 18 to 24 mos. of age). I'm just looking for advice, and accepting of any suggestions. And my "kid" isn't a child, he's a 19 year old "young man". Thanks.


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## mwiacek10 (Nov 8, 2010)

Wow, this is how we treat new members?


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

Lisa100 said:


> Again, sorry! Don't know what I specifically said to upset you. Training a rescue with an unclear history isn't the same as raising a dog from a pup. She was 54 pounds and emaciated when I adopted her (at approx. 18 to 24 mos. of age). I'm just looking for advice, and accepting of any suggestions. And my "kid" isn't a child, he's a 19 year old "young man". Thanks.


 Sorry, I really am for coming off like that. It is ok to let people treat certain dogs but it takes a lot of control for some , always control but some are harder then others. 
I have a dog that knowone likes , germanshepherd people love him but my kids even get ticked at him, and any fear or discomfort he totally knows it, so I have to be the hand in everything around here, but most of the dogs here are mine. If there is anything I can help you with please do not hesitate to ask, I have worked with different forms of aggression so I know a little 
I had a off the wall dog with aggression and I had to find a certain kind of trainer to help me with him and not just a pet trainer because that did not work (not saying I know anything about your trainer, ok). One of the dogs I have now that people do not like can be aggressive but his drive is so crazy too. He has popped a lot of balls, my kids hate that (their fault if they let the ball get around him). Lastnight my daughter was sitting on the floor and he inched over there to put his head on her lap. I do not let my dogs make up their own mind how they are going to treat someone aggression to be sure, but I told her he is wanting to be friends.


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## codmaster (Aug 5, 2009)

harmony said:


> Have you ever stood up and take control, you mean what you say, and you say what you mean! I have seen to many dogs left out because of what you said, take control! I have to ask how hard is that? And why is your kid giving the dog treats? Have you trained the beast yet? Aggression and fear do not always fit into the same category


harmony - what in the world is with your tone and questions? have you read the thread?

Give the OP a break - they sound like they have a difficult situation and are asking the right questions and trying their best to do the right thing!


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

codmaster said:


> harmony - what in the world is with your tone and questions? have you read the thread?
> 
> Give the OP a break - they sound like they have a difficult situation and are asking the right questions and trying their best to do the right thing!


 
You are wrong, I am helping. Now if you do not like what I say is up to you. I see people all the time with aggressive dogs and it is not always the same with some kinds of aggression, believe me.


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

codmaster said:


> harmony - what in the world is with your tone and questions? have you read the thread?
> 
> Give the OP a break - they sound like they have a difficult situation and are asking the right questions and trying their best to do the right thing!


We would also like to hear your two cents. So Tell us what should she do? 

I already spoke my peace!!!


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## codmaster (Aug 5, 2009)

harmony said:


> You are wrong, *I am helping*. Now if you do not like what I say is up to you. I see people all the time with aggressive dogs and it is not always the same with some kinds of aggression, believe me.


 
*Yea, it is obvious that you are doing a great job of helping!*

*"*it is not always the same with some kinds of aggression.." *Huh?*


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## harmony (May 30, 2002)

codmaster said:


> *Yea, it is obvious that you are doing a great job of helping!*
> 
> *"*it is not always the same with some kinds of aggression.." *Huh?*


Silly, aggression can get anyone hurt. OK why is a dog acting out in aggression? Do you think they are all the same? It takes a strong will to really help them, and the right way.


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