# Would you want to know?



## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

Say you and your spouse/partner planned a really fabulous trip, maybe for your anniversary. You'd worked and saved your money to plan just the perfect vacation and it was out of the country in a resort or on a cruise ship. You've already bought your plane tickets home. You've left your dog(s) in a boarding kennel or with a sitter and --God forbid-- your dog passes away while you're on your dream vacation.

Would you want to know, even though it would ruin the rest of your trip and you couldn't get back home? Or would you rather they wait to tell you until you get back?


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

Most certainly.

Honestly though- with the number of people on this forum that wouldn't even sell their dog for the world, I would be surprised if you get many NO votes at all...


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## Greydusk (Mar 26, 2010)

I would probably call everyday to check up on him, so no I wouldn't want them to lie to me and say he's fine when really he died 3 days ago.


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## LaRen616 (Mar 4, 2010)

Greydusk said:


> I would probably call everyday to check up on him, so no I wouldn't want them to lie to me and say he's fine when really he died 3 days ago.


This is exactly what I would do and I would want to know asap.


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## gsdraven (Jul 8, 2009)

I honestly think I'd rather be told when I get home. I think the only thing more devestating than losing someone is receiving the news over the phone and not being able to do anything about it or to even get home.


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

wildo said:


> Most certainly.
> 
> Honestly though- with the number of people on this forum that wouldn't even sell their dog for the world, I would be surprised if you get many NO votes at all...


Wow... 50% said no at 8 votes. I'm floored!


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## Caledon (Nov 10, 2008)

I voted no.

There is nothing I can do about it. I would have left an emergency contact with a very capable person and this person would know that I would not want to know until I returned.


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## Lilie (Feb 3, 2010)

It would depend on who was caring for my animal (s). If I'd hired a professional (boarding, vet etc.) then I should be contacted the moment it happened. 

If it was a close family friend, or even family, I'd let them do what they were comfortable with. For instance, if it was my mother, I know she'd be all emotional and upset. She would want to tell me face to face. 

However, if there were to be any questions regarding disposal of the body, then I'd take the responsiblity to decide what to do with the remains. I wouldn't want a neighbor without any large animal experiance having to deal with how to dispose of a large animal. 

I guess it really depends on the situation and the person. I was out of town at a horse show one time, when I got home my husband told me about one of our dogs that had died. He didn't seem to feel the need to upset me while I was on the road. I could understand where he was coming from.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

I honestly don't know, but I'm leaning towards no. I wouldn't sell my dog for $10,000 either, but if I were on a cruise ship or in a hotel halfway across the world with no way to get home and nothing I could do. . . . I honestly don't know if I'd want to know.


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## kiya (May 3, 2010)

Although it would be in my best intrest not to know, I want to know. 
This is one of the reasons I really don't want to go away right now, 2 of my dogs are seniors.


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## Syaoransbear (Sep 25, 2008)

I would want to know. If I found out after I got home, everytime I thought of that vacation I'd be filled with so much anger over not being told. If I was told during the vacation, the memory of it would just be a sad memory.

Plus I'd rather start the grieving process being pampered in some warm paradise than have to start it at home where I have to go to work/school the next day and pretend like nothing is wrong.


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## NewbieShepherdGirl (Jan 7, 2011)

I'd rather get that kind of news to my face. This actually happened in real life to my mom. She had a german shepherd who was really old, and needed to be put down, but she just couldn't do it. When she went on her honeymoon her sister was watching him and he got so bad that my aunt put him down. She waited until my mom got back to tell her. My mom was really grateful that she did it, and it really wouldn't have done any good to tell her while she was on her honeymoon.


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## LARHAGE (Jul 24, 2006)

I would rather wait to hear the news, and I wouldn't sell Gavin for any amount of money, but if there's nothing I could do because I can't get there, than let me have how ever more happy days in paradise before my world crumbles with reality.


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## Snickelfritz (Feb 21, 2007)

This happened to me, with my old faithful fun loving black lab / gsd mix We went to San Francisco for our 10th Anniversary. Had someone staying at the house, and I told the house sitter that if anything were to happen to the dogs, to call my best friend Dave, he would know what I would want to do.

Well Ralph, died sometime during the night, outside all alone. They called us in the morning on our Anniversary and said he had died. I was devastated. My BF and the housesitter took him to a Vet to have him creamated. There was nowhere in the back yard to bury him. 

I voted "NO", but I don't know if I would want to know or not want to know if it was to happen again. I wish they would have waited a day to tell me, now every Anniversary I count the years that Ralph died.


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## Lmilr (Jan 12, 2011)

gsdraven said:


> I honestly think I'd rather be told when I get home. I think the only thing more devestating than losing someone is receiving the news over the phone and not being able to do anything about it or to even get home.


I completely agree. 
Dont tell me over the phone and especially if you are stuck where you are and wouldn't be able to get home anyways...


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## GSDAlphaMom (Jul 20, 2010)

Absolutely and it had it happen once, though I wasn't on an exotic vacation I was out of state (I did receive a call). It was devasting knowing I wasn't with her when she passed (unexpectedly from a seizure).


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## Liesje (Mar 4, 2007)

I would rather wait because in this scenario it would be extremely difficult if not impossible for me to come home early upon hearing the news immediately. It's not that I wouldn't want my trip ruined, but I wouldn't want to be there for days feeling devastated and helpless.

That said the person who takes care of my dogs would probably call me immediately.


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## PaddyD (Jul 22, 2010)

LARHAGE said:


> I would rather wait to hear the news, and I wouldn't sell Gavin for any amount of money, but if there's nothing I could do because I can't get there, than let me have how ever more happy days in paradise before my world crumbles with reality.


I agree. There is nothing you can do so why be mad at someone who wants you to enjoy the trip that meant so much to you?


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## King&Skylar (Jun 3, 2010)

I would want to know for sure.


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## DharmasMom (Jul 4, 2010)

No. If I am stuck somewhere and can't get home immediately then please don't tell me. I would be devastated, it would make the rest of my trip miserable which in turn would make the trip for whoever I am with miserable. All I would want to do is get home. I wouldn't have any fun being stuck wherever I was at and I would resent being there. Plus, I would probably be crying most of the time. Yeah, that would be great for me and whoever I was traveling with. 

I wouldn't be able to change it and when I got home that would be soon enough for reality to take a bite out of me and for the grieving process to begin.

Now, if I am somewhere that I can come home immediately, like Va Beach, then yes, call me right away. I would come right home to make arrangements for her.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

Snickelfritz said:


> I voted "NO", but I don't know if I would want to know or not want to know if it was to happen again. I wish they would have waited a day to tell me, now every Anniversary I count the years that Ralph died.


I know exactly how you feel. Cash died last year on our anniversary. We didn't celebrate this year.


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## BlackGSD (Jan 4, 2005)

I absolutely WOULD want to know. And if something like that happened and WASN'T told until I returned, god help the person that didn't tell me!!!!


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## Jack's Dad (Jun 7, 2011)

I would not want to know. 

I would only care to know if there was something I could actually do about it. 

Because this scenario is after the fact, I could have no affect on the outcome.


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## Jack's Dad (Jun 7, 2011)

BlackGSD said:


> I absolutely WOULD want to know. And if something like that happened and WASN'T told until I returned, god help the person that didn't tell me!!!!


That seems a little harsh. 

Unless you leave specific instruction regarding your wishes in such a case then you should trust the judgement of those you leave your animals with.
If you don't trust them then it's probably best to not leave them.


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## elisabeth_00117 (May 17, 2009)

BlackGSD said:


> I absolutely WOULD want to know. And if something like that happened and WASN'T told until I returned, god help the person that didn't tell me!!!!


This.


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## BlackGSD (Jan 4, 2005)

Jack's Dad said:


> That seems a little harsh.
> 
> Unless you leave specific instruction regarding your wishes in such a case then you should trust the judgement of those you leave your animals with.
> If you don't trust them then it's probably best to not leave them.


Not harsh. They are MY animals, it is MY decision on whether(sp) I would want to know or not. It is NOT up to someone else to decide for me. I don't leave my dogs with anyone anyway I don't have to worry about it. But if I DID, I would tell them that I am to be contacted, if they didn't do it, then as I said, God help them because it would NOT be pretty! If it was a matter of me being somewhere where they COULDN'T contact me, that is different than just not doing it.

Also wanted to make it clear that I am saying god help them for not telling me, not because I would blame them for the dog dying.


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## Jack's Dad (Jun 7, 2011)

Emoore said:


> Say you and your spouse/partner planned a really fabulous trip, maybe for your anniversary. You'd worked and saved your money to plan just the perfect vacation and it was out of the country in a resort or on a cruise ship. You've already bought your plane tickets home. You've left your dog(s) in a boarding kennel or with a sitter and --God forbid-- your dog passes away while you're on your dream vacation.
> 
> Would you want to know, even though it would ruin the rest of your trip and you couldn't get back home? Or would you rather they wait to tell you until you get back?


I don't really want to argue BlackGSD but in this original post I don't see where it is referring to giving someone explicit instructions and having them disregarded. It is a generalized hypothetical about leaving your dogs with someone or in a kennel.

Where I leave Jack they ask what they should do in cases of sickness or death.


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## Snickelfritz (Feb 21, 2007)

Emoore said:


> I know exactly how you feel. Cash died last year on our anniversary. We didn't celebrate this year.


:hug:


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I would not want to be told. I am sorry, but I don't travel at all. My big deal in the last couple of years is going with my sister and her kids to an indoor waterpark. And that is being gone for two nights and part of three days. My sister picked me up and we drove up in one car. This was a Guatamalan adoption event where families with kids adopted from Guatamala get together and have some fun and meals together and a birthday party for kids whose birthdays are close. Several of the meals were paid for already as was the room and waterpark. 

I would not be able to leave without ruining it for my sister and her kids. Staying would be horrible knowing that my dog was dead, wondering if I might have done anything, feeling guilty and sad and all around miserable. I would not be able to hide that from my sister or her kids. So don't tell me. 

There is nothing I can do there that I cannot do when I get home. 

I did call my dad and asked if he survived with all fingers and toes intact. 

If there was anything I could do to make the outcome different, yes I would want to know. But if the dog is dead already, then let me enjoy the rest of my trip and not bring the others down with me. When I get home, I will feel bad, but what's the harm in delaying it for a day or two?


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## Stosh (Jun 26, 2010)

I agree with Lilie- if he was boarded at a kennel I would expect them to contact me immediately. If someone was home with him I would rather they let me enjoy the trip and tell me when I got home


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## Good_Karma (Jun 28, 2009)

I would want to know. A few Christmases ago we were dealing with our beloved cat Eve who had a mystery illness that was slowly eating her alive (it was horrific and disfiguring). We had sent her to Cornell University to figure out what was going on, and when she came home a week later she required steroids and antibiotics but we were not told that she would not recover. We were slowly reducing the steroids when the Christmas holiday came along. We boarded her at our vet's office, with a photograph of her in her better days, her favorite food, and her bed, and traveled to my parent's house per tradition.

She died on Christmas day. We got the phone call at 9 am, just before opening our gifts.

Yes, Christmas was ruined that year. And every year after, Eve is the first thing I think of when I open my eyes on Christmas morning. But I would not have had the vet wait until the next day to tell me what happened. To me, it would feel almost like a betrayal of her and how important she was to us if we had remained blissfully ignorant of her passing. I'm sure it was one of the hardest phone calls that vet had to make, but I am glad she did let us know.


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## jang (May 1, 2011)

No, I would not want to know--At that point there would be nothing to do but mourn..and that can wait but can never go away..


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## BR870 (May 15, 2011)

I would want to know...


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## Syaoransbear (Sep 25, 2008)

My dad is allergic to everything with fur, so when I was growing up we didn't have any pets. After a while I finally was allowed to get a goldfish. This was my first pet ever and pretty monumental since I had been bugging my parents for a pet for my entire life.

While we were on vacation, my aunt was taking care of my goldfish and he died. She never called us to tell us that he died. She never even left a note for when we got back. I searched that tank forever trying to find him until we concluded that he probably died. I was so angry, she had just scooped him out and flushed him. He was my very first pet, I had different plans for when he died that did not include being flushed down a toilet without a second thought. That was like 14 years ago and I'm still pissed about it.


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## VomBlack (May 23, 2009)

That's a really tough question, but I answered no. If I were unable to get back quickly and there was nothing that could be done to save my dog.. I don't know if i'd want to spend the remainder of my trip distraught and wondering how to get back sooner.

but on the other hand, to come home and expect to go and pick up your dog and find out they had died a few days or so prior.. I really can't fathom how I would handle it. I've seen dogs die in boarding while working at various vet clinics (not very often!) and it's tough to know that while the family would have wanted to spend those final moments with their pet, they were unable to.

I hope it's a situation I never have to encounter, and if I do I'd rather just leave the decision on when to tell me to those caring for my pets.


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## ChancetheGSD (Dec 19, 2007)

Anytime a dog or cat has ever died at the kennels I've worked for, owners or emergency contact were always called right away.

For me, I'd want to know for sure. :/ And as someone else said, I'd make sure there was someone there to handle arrangements if it DID happen. Someone who could get the body to the vet for an necropsy first of all (unless the dog was like super old and had known health problems or something) and then make cremation arrangements.

Though I never leave my dogs so I guess it's not an issue. If I had to leave without my animals, more than likely I'd have someone dead in the family that I'd already be worrying over and they'd have to be pretty close members for me to even leave for that!


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

DharmasMom said:


> No. If I am stuck somewhere and can't get home immediately then please don't tell me. I would be devastated, it would make the rest of my trip miserable which in turn would make the trip for whoever I am with miserable. All I would want to do is get home. I wouldn't have any fun being stuck wherever I was at and I would resent being there. Plus, I would probably be crying most of the time. Yeah, that would be great for me and whoever I was traveling with.
> 
> I wouldn't be able to change it and when I got home that would be soon enough for reality to take a bite out of me and for the grieving process to begin.
> 
> Now, if I am somewhere that I can come home immediately, like Va Beach, then yes, call me right away. I would come right home to make arrangements for her.





Jack's Dad said:


> I would not want to know.
> 
> I would only care to know if there was something I could actually do about it.
> 
> Because this scenario is after the fact, I could have no affect on the outcome.


Agree with the above. Can you imagine just how SUCKY it would be to be on a cruise ship, that you have no power to leave, knowing your baby had gone? TORTURE of massive order!!!!! The trip would be pure **** waiting to get off that ship and back home. And as awful as it sounds, it is a done thing and there's nothing you can do.

Now, if my dog was deathly sick and bordering on death, yes, I WOULD want to know and I'd be doing whatever I could to catch a plane, train and/or automobile back home. Even if I couldn't do anything to help the situation, being there would be priceless.

Otherwise, if I have no power, no, please don't tell me until I get home.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Actually this makes me think about things... I rarely travel -- maybe a trip every few years for a wedding or other special occasion -- but the next time I do have reason to board, I will make sure to remember this thread and give instruction to the kennel and my family at home.


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## Syaoransbear (Sep 25, 2008)

chelle said:


> Agree with the above. Can you imagine just how SUCKY it would be to be on a cruise ship, that you have no power to leave, knowing your baby had gone? TORTURE of massive order!!!!! The trip would be pure **** waiting to get off that ship and back home. And as awful as it sounds, it is a done thing and there's nothing you can do.


I think it would be less sucky than coming home and being super psyched up and excited to see your dog, going to the boarding place and them being like "oh it died." I couldn't deal with that.


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## Freestep (May 1, 2011)

Syaoransbear said:


> Plus I'd rather start the grieving process being pampered in some warm paradise than have to start it at home where I have to go to work/school the next day and pretend like nothing is wrong.


I voted no, but you make a good point. I guess it would depend on the situation, but I certainly wouldn't be angry if I wasn't told until I got back.


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## JakodaCD OA (May 14, 2000)

I would want to know, and come heck or high water would be on the next plane, boat, taxi outta there..


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Syaoransbear said:


> I think it would be less sucky than coming home and being super psyched up and excited to see your dog, going to the boarding place and them being like "oh it died." I couldn't deal with that.


Well both options suck! Just depends on which option ranks higher on your suck-o-meter. I know I'd be a total, ragged out, crazy, hot mess as soon as I heard the word until I got home. And then I'd be a worse mess. I don't like this thread.


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## sparra (Jun 27, 2011)

I said no but more out of consideration for my hubby who I would assume i would be with on our dream holiday. He would be sad but I am not going to pretend that he would be as devastated as me about it so I would rather wait so his holiday wasn't ruined by my reaction.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

I want to know. If the dog had already died, then I would not come home more quickly (what's the point?) but I would want to know. Right then.
I don't need anyone sparing my feelings or taking care of my vacation & thoughts.


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## Chicagocanine (Aug 7, 2008)

I would want to know because if they don't tell me, what would happen to the pet's body?

Plus as others said I would be calling or emailing while I was gone to see how they were doing and I wouldn't want to be lied to. I usually have my pets staying at home with family or a pet sitter, but I also had one cat who stayed at the vet while I was away once because she needed sub-q fluids and meds...
Especially if they were staying at the vet or with a pet sitter, I would hope a professional would not lie to the pet's owner.


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## marshies (May 18, 2011)

If the pet were on the brink of death, I would want to know. I also expect to be called if I boarded at a professional facility, like everyone else mentioned.

I voted no, but I'm actually still pretty conflicted about what to do if my sitter just wakes up and finds my dog dead. On the one hand, I don't want to feel powerless thousands of miles away. But on the other hand, I want to be able to bark orders over the phone to friends and family for things like necropsy, burial instructions, etc. I feel I owe it to my dog to take care of him in death and make appropriate arrangements for him.

Maybe the ideal situation is to research burial options and places that do necropsys before hand and make a flow chart. If dog is alive then call. If dog is gone for good, call this for necropsy, call this for burial. Do not call unless decisions needed.

I don't know.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

marshies said:


> Maybe the ideal situation is to research burial options and places that do necropsys before hand and make a flow chart. If dog is alive then call. If dog is gone for good, call this for necropsy, call this for burial. Do not call unless decisions needed.
> 
> I don't know.


I don't know either, but advance plans would seemingly be the way to go. I will have this all written out and understood in the future if I have to leave my dogs/board. Explicitly. Glad for this post to bring it to my attention. You just don't expect such things to happen. I wouldn't want anyone to lie to me, either, though. When we went on a big family cruise, we had no cell reception for days when at sea. The people back home, whoever is caring for the animals, have to have a clear directive as to what to do in the case they can't reach you. Again, I'm glad this post came up so I'll know better if/when we take any long trips like that.


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## CainGSD (Nov 15, 2003)

I would want to be told immediately. I feel that I am responsible for my dogs and would not want to leave any decision in regard to arrangements to anyone but me. I would also like to think if I were on my "dream" vacation the dogs would be with me :laugh:!

The only people I would leave any of my dogs with are either family or super close friends and they would understand how I feel about my dogs and know that I would need to know ASAP.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

chelle said:


> I don't know either, but advance plans would seemingly be the way to go. I will have this all written out and understood in the future if I have to leave my dogs/board. Explicitly. Glad for this post to bring it to my attention. You just don't expect such things to happen. I wouldn't want anyone to lie to me, either, though. When we went on a big family cruise, we had no cell reception for days when at sea. The people back home, whoever is caring for the animals, have to have a clear directive as to what to do in the case they can't reach you. Again, I'm glad this post came up so I'll know better if/when we take any long trips like that.


That's why I brought this post up. We're going on a 7 day cruise in December and won't always have cell reception. We have a senior GSD and a 1-year old.

I think it's fascinating that the poll has been nearly 50/50 the whole time.


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## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

I'd want them to tell me when I got home. But the person who posted that the issue may arrise of what to do with the body, and if we're talking reality here - payment of cremation - that could possibly be an issue. I think we know our vet well enough that they would allow us to pay when we returned if family explained what was going on.

This is a large animal practice as well as small and they almost always bill clients. Since I was on the large animal side for so long (horses for 19 years) they know I'm good for it.

Family does know we have cremated all our deceased pets, so I don't believe that would be an issue.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Emoore said:


> That's why I brought this post up. We're going on a 7 day cruise in December and won't always have cell reception. We have a senior GSD and a 1-year old.
> 
> I think it's fascinating that the poll has been nearly 50/50 the whole time.


That is interesting, it is at a total dead heat.


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## middleofnowhere (Dec 20, 2000)

So most of us profess our pets are "family members." If a family member dies when you are on vacation, 50% of us do not want to be told. If your son/daughter/mother/father died while you were out of town --- would that be different? I guess for me, not being told is sort of faking it. I'd rather not do that.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

When my dog dies, I take them to the vet and they are cremated. My family does not gather. We do not have a funeral. Nobody sends cards. There is no trust set up. Nobody fights over the property of the deceased. We do not have calling hours. 

Most of what goes on for a person is for the survivors, not for the person who is dead. When Grandma goes to her reward we are not comforting Grandma, we are comforting each other. If I was on a vacation, yes I would want to know if my brother, sister, parents, or my nieces/nephew died. I would have to steel myself for the arrangements that would probably be held up until the family would be able to be there. I would probably want to talk to some of the people. 

Ok this is NOT going to be popular, but, dogs aren't people. Losing your dog is **** hard but it isn't like losing a parent, a kid, or a sibling, or even a good friend. Dogs are pets. We love them, yes. When they die we grieve. Yes. They last 10 - 12 years for shepherd generally, and it is even sadder when they die earlier, and it is a bonus if they live longer, but we go into owning a dog knowing that we will probably outlive the dog. 

I guess I just cannot compare losing a dog to losing a close family member, at least not the aftermath of the death.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

selzer said:


> When my dog dies, I take them to the vet and they are cremated. My family does not gather. We do not have a funeral. Nobody sends cards. There is no trust set up. Nobody fights over the property of the deceased. We do not have calling hours.
> 
> Most of what goes on for a person is for the survivors, not for the person who is dead. When Grandma goes to her reward we are not comforting Grandma, we are comforting each other. If I was on a vacation, yes I would want to know if my brother, sister, parents, or my nieces/nephew died. I would have to steel myself for the arrangements that would probably be held up until the family would be able to be there. I would probably want to talk to some of the people.
> 
> ...


Agree, completely. If a human dies, we must go through the various motions of arrangements, funerals, etc. Very different scenario than the death of our beloved pets.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

I would want to know right away. Heck, I'd want to know if my dog became ill so that I could rush to be with him-hopefully BEFORE he passed away.


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## chelle (Feb 1, 2009)

Germanshepherdlova said:


> I would want to know right away. Heck, I'd want to know if my dog became ill so that I could rush to be with him-hopefully BEFORE he passed away.


Well to me, that's the whole thing. If the dog has not yet passed, **** YES, contact me ASAP so I can get home! I'd do anything and everything to get home at that point. But if my baby had already passed, that's different. If I was thousands of miles away, knowing my baby had gone, I'd be one hot mess. Of no use to anyone or anything and a crazed nutcase. This is awful to say, but once my baby was gone, what use is there to me being insane getting home?

As I think I might have said, this just really reinforces that anytime I might need to leave my dog(s) in anyone's care, I will have very clear cut directives in place.


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## Germanshepherdlova (Apr 16, 2011)

chelle said:


> Well to me, that's the whole thing. If the dog has not yet passed, **** YES, contact me ASAP so I can get home! I'd do anything and everything to get home at that point. But if my baby had already passed, that's different. If I was thousands of miles away, knowing my baby had gone, I'd be one hot mess. Of no use to anyone or anything and a crazed nutcase. This is awful to say, but once my baby was gone, what use is there to me being insane getting home?
> 
> As I think I might have said, this just really reinforces that anytime I might need to leave my dog(s) in anyone's care, I will have very clear cut directives in place.


I can understand how you feel that way, I am just one of those need to know right away people.

Of course, I don't ever see myself thousands of miles away from my dogs ever. If they can't come with me, then I don't go as far as vacations are concerned. My GSD basically only listens to me and DH. Nobody can or would want to try watching him. As far as boarding him, I wouldn't do that to him. He is used to having free roam of the house and so I couldn't enjoy myself on a vacation while he is in a kennel that he isn't accustomed to being in. So point being, we'd probably never be in that situation anyhow.


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## ladyfreckles (Nov 10, 2011)

When I was eleven this happened to me, sort of. I was sent away for a week to visit my grandparents and while I was gone my father put my cat down. My cat had FIV and I had already said I was okay with putting him down, but I wanted to be there with him. I came home and my dad told me he had put my cat down and I cried for hours and was *extremely* angry that I hadn't been told. 

I think this actually traumatized me a bit because I never willingly went on vacation again out of fear for my other pets. I started refusing to visit my grandparents, even turned down a trip to the caribbean, etc. 

So I can say from experience that, unless the animal needs to be put down, my answer is no. If, say, the animal became very sick and would need to be put down I would want to know *immediately* so I can try to get home and be there. If my animal passed away, though, I don't think I'd want to know. I prefer to grieve alone on my own, and a vacation is not the time or place for that. I don't like being upset around strangers and, as many others have said, _there would be nothing I could do about it_. 

However, if I was checking in daily I would not want them to lie to me.


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## Draugr (Jul 8, 2011)

I would. It's not in my best interest to know, I know, but...I would want to know. I'd be checking in daily as others said too, and I would be furious if someone lied to me. It would be different if they'd not told me and I wasn't checking in at all (which I wouldn't do), I would be upset, but I could forgive them.

I am unlikely to ever take any trips that my dog cannot accompany me on, regardless. That cuts out a lot of options but I am fine with that. I am not a huge traveler anyway.


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## arycrest (Feb 28, 2006)

Yes, I would want to know! I could then instruct his caretaker on how to dispose of his body (which in my case would be cremation.). Yes, I'd be upset, but not nearly as upset if I weren't told!!!


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## Rerun (Feb 27, 2006)

selzer said:


> Ok this is NOT going to be popular, but, dogs aren't people. Losing your dog is **** hard but it isn't like losing a parent, a kid, or a sibling, or even a good friend. Dogs are pets. We love them, yes. When they die we grieve. Yes. They last 10 - 12 years for shepherd generally, and it is even sadder when they die earlier, and it is a bonus if they live longer, but we go into owning a dog knowing that we will probably outlive the dog.
> 
> I guess I just cannot compare losing a dog to losing a close family member, at least not the aftermath of the death.


 Yeah, that.


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## Emoore (Oct 9, 2002)

selzer said:


> Ok this is NOT going to be popular, but, dogs aren't people. Losing your dog is **** hard but it isn't like losing a parent, a kid, or a sibling, or even a good friend.


Parent, kid, or sibling I'll grant you, but a friend? Disagree. I have one friend I've been close with for more than 5 years. My friends come and go in my life. We do fun things together, but they don't eat breakfast with me every morning for more than 10 years like my dog does, they don't greet me joyfully every day when I get home, and they darn sure don't sleep in my bed.


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## prophecy (May 29, 2008)

Greydusk said:


> I would probably call everyday to check up on him, so no I wouldn't want them to lie to me and say he's fine when really he died 3 days ago.


^ THIS. Would be me.


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## selzer (May 7, 2005)

I have friends who will grieve me less than my dog, and others that will grieve me more when they go. But regardless, there will be no funeral for my dog. There will be calling hours and a funeral for my friends. If my dog is cremated in my absence it will be sad, but that will be the end of it. I will grieve whether I find out on my trip or after my trip. Finding out a few days sooner will make no difference.

But for even a friend, knowing before hand that I will have only hours after I get home to get to the calling hours, might mean I will not stop on my way back for lunch or coffee. Some friends I would probaby just not go, if I had a decent excuse, if I did not know the family, etc. But others I would want to be there. 

Dogs aren't people. Funerals are not for the deceased they are for the survivors.


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