# Building a strong bond with your dog



## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

I'm not having any real issues with Baxter, but I'd love to get ideas from all of you on ways to build a strong bond with him. I figure now, while we're doing well, is a good time to start. After all, why wait until there's a problem to build a strong bond to help solve it? I'd much rather be proactive, strengthen my bond with my boy, and AVOID potential issues as much as possible. 

So - send your ideas my way! I'm open to anything and everything, from the most basic of exercises, to more complex ones.


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## DJEtzel (Feb 11, 2010)

Engagement is really the key to bonding IMO. Playing, training, being happy and praising your dog. I think doing a lot of travelling with dogs increases the bond, too. When Frag was a puppy he went everywhere with us for the first 8 months of his life, and now he's not detachable.


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

Baxter goes just about everywhere with me, assuming the locations allow dogs! We'll take him to my parents', to the park, to the pet store, etc. I need to get back into the habit of a few short training sessions on a regular basis, even if it's just something SIMPLE. Something to make him happy. It's easy to let those things slide when there aren't "issues" to work through!


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## wildo (Jul 27, 2006)

Agility is a great way to increase your bond...


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

Heheheh....I'm trying to picture Baxter doing agility, and all I can think about it his little incident last night. I posted it over in the Random Thread, but I'll share again. He has a horrible habit of letting me know he's out of water by kicking/throwing his water dish around. Last night, he smacks it backwards with his front paw, trips over it with his back paws, and face plants onto the floor. 

But agility would be something fun to look into! He has some DA issues that we're working through (he's okay as long as other dogs don't approach him), so I'd be worried about anything off-leash with other dogs present.


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## qbchottu (Jul 10, 2011)

Running, walking, hiking, playing two ball, car rides, pet store visits, swimming, playing tug, grooming/brushing, treats, feeding kibble one by kibble etc. I think touch and closeness builds the bond. I love giving my dogs massages. Sit next to the dog and just run your hands over his back/legs. Build him up to where he feels comfortable and you can start increasing the time.


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

I forgot about massages! It would be good for me to get back into that - maybe it will help ease his anxiety over getting his nails clipped. He'll let me...but he does get tense and agitated with his front paws still.

All good advice - thanks, everyone. Keep it coming!


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## DJEtzel (Feb 11, 2010)

evybear15 said:


> Heheheh....I'm trying to picture Baxter doing agility, and all I can think about it his little incident last night. I posted it over in the Random Thread, but I'll share again. He has a horrible habit of letting me know he's out of water by kicking/throwing his water dish around. Last night, he smacks it backwards with his front paw, trips over it with his back paws, and face plants onto the floor.
> 
> But agility would be something fun to look into! He has some DA issues that we're working through (he's okay as long as other dogs don't approach him), so I'd be worried about anything off-leash with other dogs present.


Most agility classes make the dogs step outside of the ring/fenced area when a dog is running/working off leash. There may always be incidents, but if you can proof him for focus and sit/stays you can always body block the other dog. And my instructor is really good about letting everyone know who doesn't get along with other dogs or people, so that everyone can have fun and know who to avoid/be careful around. Instructors usually make try to do damage control very quickly because they don't want anyone getting hurt.


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## SukiGirl (Aug 31, 2012)

We got our girl @ 7 weeks - and the bond building process for me, at least, went really slow. She went through this period where she didn't even like my being close to her.

We really had to work on touch. Initially she didn't like me fussing with her paws, ears, rubbing her tummy, etc. I took it really slow with her, allowing her to come to me and treating her when she made good eye and physical contact. At a little over 10 months, she is such a cuddle bunny. She follows me everywhere and wants to be wherever I or my husband are. She practically crawls into my lap.

Through training and with patience, I have proven to her that I can be trusted. Now she looks at me as though I am her world (even though she still has her brat moments!). Its the best feeling. Patience is key...


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

That's a good point. The place I did basic obedience with Baxter was...okay with it, but not great. I'd need to do some research to see if I could find some places around town that are truly knowledgeable. In the mean time, I'll keep taking Baxter to the park and working on his focus while other dogs are nearby. When we were doing training with him with a private trainer, we worked out that it was really more fear-based than anything else - he gets nervous when strange dogs approach him, but does okay if they keep their distance, or ignore him when they go by. No longer the massive issue it used to be, and I can certainly pick up on his tension as soon as it starts and help him to re-focus, but not "fixed" yet.


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

SukiGirl said:


> We got our girl @ 7 weeks - and the bond building process for me, at least, went really slow. She went through this period where she didn't even like my being close to her.
> 
> We really had to work on touch. Initially she didn't like me fussing with her paws, ears, rubbing her tummy, etc. I took it really slow with her, allowing her to come to me and treating her when she made good eye and physical contact. At a little over 10 months, she is such a cuddle bunny. She follows me everywhere and wants to be wherever I or my husband are. She practically crawls into my lap.
> 
> Through training and with patience, I have proven to her that I can be trusted. Now she looks at me as though I am her world (even though she still has her brat moments!). Its the best feeling. Patience is key...


Yes, patience is definite key! Baxter just turned 2 a few weeks ago, and he seems to go back and forth between wanting to be where I am at all times (and he actually DOES try to curl up in my lap if I allow him to), and wanting to be in hearing range...but not WITH us.

I've noticed him pulling away a bit more often, which is what triggered my thoughts on bonding exercises.


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## jae (Jul 17, 2012)

evybear15 said:


> I forgot about massages! It would be good for me to get back into that - maybe it will help ease his anxiety over getting his nails clipped. He'll let me...but he does get tense and agitated with his front paws still.
> 
> All good advice - thanks, everyone. Keep it coming!


One of the main things that the Monks of New Skete advise on building a strong bond in their Art of Raising a Puppy is the full body massage and then brushing, making sure not to skip over the tail, hocks, paws and in between, neck, and tummy. I'm not sure how important this next bit is, but I did follow it; once you get him totally relaxed and okay with that, from him in a sit and you behind, they say to manipulate soft and slowly turning his head (hand under his chin, the other hand on top of his head), lastly lifting the lips, moving on to opening and checking in the mouth (I think this is extremely important to have your dog comfortable with). This isn't done in the same session, I did it over the course of a week. I think they mentioned that this builds the same bond that a mother would build with her pups, she cleans them and handles them as she wishes, after all. I did notice that after I got through this with my boy, he started being even more velcro than he had been and I do like to think it strengthened our bond.

On the other hand, I do believe that merely being in the same room and spending time with your dog is in itself the best bonding, whether it is sleeping or active engagement. All other positive activities and experiences just strengthens it.


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## DJEtzel (Feb 11, 2010)

evybear15 said:


> That's a good point. The place I did basic obedience with Baxter was...okay with it, but not great. I'd need to do some research to see if I could find some places around town that are truly knowledgeable. In the mean time, I'll keep taking Baxter to the park and working on his focus while other dogs are nearby. When we were doing training with him with a private trainer, we worked out that it was really more fear-based than anything else - he gets nervous when strange dogs approach him, but does okay if they keep their distance, or ignore him when they go by. No longer the massive issue it used to be, and I can certainly pick up on his tension as soon as it starts and help him to re-focus, but not "fixed" yet.


You're coming to Michigan next weekend anyway, how about you just bring Baxter and stay, and you can train where I do!


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

DJEtzel said:


> You're coming to Michigan next weekend anyway, how about you just bring Baxter and stay, and you can train where I do!


That is true! I'm sure Sam would be understanding. 

....and now it's beginning to sink in that I'm leaving my pup for a weekend.


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## kimberlyromani (Oct 12, 2012)

I got my male at 7 wks, and he bonded with us instantly. I go through a ritual every morning with him, a treat, then I brush him and give him a full body massage. He is 21 wks now, and whenever I sit in "our" spot, he is already flopping in front of me waiting. We got Bella, our little lady at 17 wks. She's a different story! She sticks to me like over done oatmeal, and is just now warming up to my husband and son. I've been spending alone time with her brushing and massaging, and she is now falling asleep before I'm through!


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## DJEtzel (Feb 11, 2010)

evybear15 said:


> That is true! I'm sure Sam would be understanding.
> 
> ....and now it's beginning to sink in that I'm leaving my pup for a weekend.


He'd get it, it's for the dog!  

lol awh, then don't leave him! We have plenty of boarding options around here or pet friendly hotels!


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

DJEtzel said:


> He'd get it, it's for the dog!
> 
> lol awh, then don't leave him! We have plenty of boarding options around here or pet friendly hotels!


If Sam weren't staying home, I'd probably look into it! As it is, I'm going to be in and out SO much over the course of the weekend that it makes more sense for him to stay at home. Besides, I should work on my separation anxiety. Baxter will be fine.


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## DJEtzel (Feb 11, 2010)

evybear15 said:


> If Sam weren't staying home, I'd probably look into it! As it is, I'm going to be in and out SO much over the course of the weekend that it makes more sense for him to stay at home. Besides, I should work on my separation anxiety. Baxter will be fine.


lol, I think human SA is the worst sometimes.


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

DJEtzel said:


> lol, I think human SA is the worst sometimes.


I totally agree. Even when I know he's being well cared for, I'm still a nervous wreck when I go out of town....


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## LoveEcho (Mar 4, 2011)

It's funny, I've been searching the forum for bond-building stuff too. I should send you a FB message. I think with Echo, because he can be really insecure, all the moving around we've been doing the last two months have taken a toll. I think I'm going to build some agility equipment and see if that helps. Unfortunately, there is NOTHING in the way of good classes in my area, which is a total bummer. I've noticed he's been laying in the guest room away from us which has been making me sad


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## mycobraracr (Dec 4, 2011)

My gf recently moved in, so I have 2 more dogs in the house. I had to start doing a lot of one-on-one time with Mina. I have been taking only her out sometimes, hand feeding, and playing tug. We all go to obedience classes but she is the only dog we have that does schutzhund, so that helps. I have also been sitting on the ground with her food bowl in my lap while she eats. Sounds stupid but it has really been helping, both with bonding but focus too!


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## Blanketback (Apr 27, 2012)

Do you have a flirt pole? This is what gets my puppy's attention more than anything. I'm starting to call it the 'crack pole', it's a bad joke but it's so true! And something I noticed at the dog park - since I play frisbee with him when it's empty, now he hardly even goes up to the other dogs anymore, just hovers around my pile of stuff waiting for us to play some more.


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## evybear15 (Mar 28, 2011)

I actually haven't used a flirt/crack pole with him! I'll have to look into that as well.  Right now we're just spending the day together - having fun, working on training, keeping things relaxed but positive. Seems to be going well so far!


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## Sasha86 (Sep 8, 2012)

My 9 month old is very bonded to me. Everywhere I go she goes, but we go to my boyfriend's house( which she has known since we got her) she gets very excited about him and mouths him extra. She doesn't really want to go walks with him by herself and constantly looks back looking for me. Is this common among German shepherds and how can they bond? She sees him as a d


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## Sasha86 (Sep 8, 2012)

Do German shepherd usually bond to one person? Sasha is 9 months and is very bonded to me but she sees my boyfriends as a buddy not as a leader. How do they intensify their bond, she doesn't want to even walk with him by himself


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## doggiedad (Dec 2, 2007)

i don't do anything special to bond with my
dog or have my dog bond with me. i feed
him, train him, socialize, play with him, hang
out with him, the normal stuff. i think bonding
is a given.


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